Bruce Banner did Not Come to Fuck Around Laddies
i know we all love typecasting bruce banner as the levelheaded calm guy but consider: none of that is actually true and here’s the facts:
-this man saw right through black widow. seriously. he yelled once and she had a gun drawn and people in position to shoot. just to research the cube his ass, they want the hulk as well. apparently, they’re a package deal
-this boy points out that fury will put him in a cage and natasha says “he won’t put you in a cage–” and bruce just cuts her off with the yell. he knows SHIELD better than a hell of a lot of other people
-he gives her a goddamn “charming smile” as he says “just us?” that little shit knows that he’s got her cornered, and there’s nothing she can say to slip out of it. he knew that she would bring back-up, because you don’t confront that volatile of a man without having back-up
-bruce isn’t afraid to call shit out like it is. he knows fury doesn’t just want him to research the cube, there’s a containment cell for him. maybe it’s precaution, but fury’s a hell of a lot more advanced than that. he knew the hulk would make an appearance, and hopefully in SHIELD’s favor
-when they get on the helicarrier bruce isn’t fazed by captain america’s presence at all can we say chill icon????
-bruce is the one who thinks to use spectrometers, which end up being VERY important to finding loki and the cube
-when bruce sees loki in the containment thingy he’s like “wow he really grows on you” again reminding us all that bruce is the shade queen
-he’s incredibly insightful about stuff, and knows that “warm light for all mankind” was a jab directed at tony, and that kind of fuckery i never pick up on so kudos
-this is turning out longer than i expected but do i care???? no
-calls out natasha for her bullshit when she says, “loki’s trying to manipulate you”
“and what have you been doing, exactly?” like damn he has NO CHILL
-he was helping people and then SHIELD dragged him back in and he verbally states this i stan a man who can admit when he’s upset
-hulk is unbothered by this shit he probably just wants some pizza or some shit just let him live in peace u fucks
-bruce just flat out admits he always has no chill which leads us to
-bruce asks how clint barton is doing and tony says “unfortunately, still barton” (mood) and bruce responds with “oh, that’s terrible” ;LFJKS;LFLKSADFKLJD MOOOD
-helped design veronica so it could bring him down, also thinks AI technology is cool as shit
-okay i know none of u like brucenat but nat calls him a dork and bruce BLUSHES how cute is that holy fuck
-he understands a lil bit of xhosa (is that the spelling??) but anyway: Icon Nonetheless u go smart man
-okay literally gonna mention wanda PURPOSEFULLY SETS HULK OFF ON JOHANNESBURG NOT GOOD
-steve tries to say they don’t know what they’re doing when science bros are trying to make vision and bruce is like “and you do?” wow babes a fucking power move if i’ve ever seen one
-he says he could choke wanda and not change a shade and tbh??? that’s the most savage fucking move of the mcu. NOTHING can top that
-okay he also says to wanda “go ahead, piss me off” oh my god this man did not come to fuck around he is an icon
-he going to space to get a boyfriend now
