where were you when I was still kind?

Little Talks||L&J

lilydearx:

James looked at Lily sideways, an uncomfortable smile on his face. “Lily… I don’t want to be rude.” He cleared his throat. “I’m sorry. I don’t now what I did to lead you on and make you think this is a date but I’m just not into you that way.” He scratched the back of his head. “This is awkward.” Of course, he was joking. He knew that he started it, so when he felt a laughing smile coming on he didn’t try to stop it.

He followed her wordlessly to a table in the middle of the pub. It dawned on him as he took a seat and started aimlessly rearranging the table caddy - something he always did just because he knew it bothered Rosmerta - that he was actually having a good time. He felt lighter somehow. He surveyed Lily with his eyes narrowed because he never thought they would be on good terms. They had mutual friends, sure. They even hung out on the off occasion. But never alone together, and never in such good spirits.

“You’re different somehow,” He told her. “Or maybe not. Maybe I’m different.” He laughed aloud. “I’m loads different, but who knew that would make me click with you of all people.”

“Well this is terrible news, James, just when I thought we had something special,” Lily sank into her chair as dramatically as she could without spilling her drink. Without thinking, she was laughing again at the ridiculousness of it. She wasn’t sure what had been the final push of growing up that made it easier to stop taking herself so seriously and let herself laugh at his jokes, or if growing up had anything to do with it in the first place, but she was glad for it. It was nice, she decided. Perhaps James Potter was good for more than an argument, after all. She found herself observing him over the rim of her glass, unashamed given he was doing the same to her. Perhaps he was even pondering the strange revelation that they could sit together - alone but surrounded - and not be deciding the proper way to decapitate the other in order to make them stop talking.

“Maybe we’re both different,” She suggested with a lopsided shrug. It certainly felt that way. A lot had changed in the span of the last school year and especially in the summer. Lily was still having trouble figuring out which parts of her had really changed - being unable to pinpoint exactly what it was about herself that was different was borderline infuriating and her friends were equally unhelpful about it. Her eyes flickered over to him cautiously, not wanting to push any uncomfortable topic right when they had finally agreed they could get along, “It’s been...rough.”

Little Talks||L&J

lilydearx:

She had a point. If no one had seen them yet, no one likely would. But Lily didn’t understand the wrath of Rosmerta. If she caught them, they were in for it. She was young, she wouldn’t turn them in. But James would definitely have to turn on a certain kind of charm he never wanted Lily to witness. He squeezed by boxes and boxes of booze, being careful not to knock anything over before stopping in front of another rickety staircase. This one went up. The door at the top was ajar and he could hear faint, drunken laughter coming from the bar above.

He glanced back, making sure Lily was still behind him, and walked smoothly up the stairs and out the door. The bar was rather lively for a school night. James often forgot that people actually lived and worked in Hogsmeade. He went right up to the bar where Rosmerta was polishing glasses and gave her a cheeky smile. She said his full name and asked him why he was out so late in a scolding, but slightly admiring tone. At that point he tipped his head towards Lily. “’m on a date, Rosie.”

The bartender clearly didn’t believe that, glancing between the two of them with contempt. She made a comment about how he couldn’t have been on a date because he was sloshed. And if she knew anything about James Potter, it was that he didn’t get sloshed on dates.

“Ah,” he said. “That’s not true. Me first date with Marlene I got properly wasted and attacked by the Whomping Willow all in one night.”

Rosmerta rolled her eyes. He didn’t get sloshed on conventional dates, anyway. James just shrugged. “Get the lady a drink, will you?” He turned to Lily. “Anything you’d like. ‘s on me.”

The Three Broomsticks was lively with the crowd of locals who were no doubt regulars at this time of night - curfew sending every annoyance the students brought right back up to the castle to be dealt with by Professors. They paid no attention to James as he walked through the tables like he’d done it a million times, but Lily got a few raised eyebrows as she hurried to keep up with him.

Rosmerta was the kind of young woman Lily found oddly terrifying, and she hung back at James’ elbow as he spoke with the bartender, wondering how easily she could melt into the floor with the pure power of embarrassment. She couldn’t stop looking from him to Rosmerta, trying to find the opportunity to disclaim the date part and being left only to sigh at James with a little shake of her head.

Ordering a pint of cider and a water she hoped to push onto James, she turned to him curiously, “You don’t really think this is a date, do you?” She nudged his arm with hers, offering him a smile to soothe the harshness of the question. Rosmerta had been working at the Three Broomsticks long enough to recognize that James and Lily had always been ‘group friends.’ She had also witnessed enough arguments in the pub to be wary of them being alone there together.

Lily thanked her as she returned with her drink and gestured to the room, “Shall we sit?”

Little Talks||L&J

lilydearx:

James smiled at her sarcasm, taking it as a compliment instead of a jab. “I am hilarious,” He told her. “And it makes you so mad.” This was something that had always been clear to James. His sense of humor, his physical comedy and fantastic, flashy pranks made Lily Evans angry more than anyone or anything else. In fact, for several months in their earlier years her anger amused him. And for that number of months he sought to perform his most extravagant sets of folly there ever was.

Years later he barely even remembered that time. But he had a feeling she did.

James scoffed at her words. “Try not to fall? I have perfect balance.” He removed his arm from her shoulders and proceeded to take off running down the passage. It became more and more narrow as they went, reaching a point where they could no longer be side by side if they wanted to. And being that it was so damp underground, James did manage to find the only standing pool of water and slosh right through it. He slid on his heels a good couple of feet, but never toppled over.

Once he finally came to a stop in front of a rickety wood door he whirled around with a brilliant smile plastered on his face. “See? Imagine what would’ve happen if I wasn’t pissed.” He didn’t wait for her answer though, he just pushed open the door and slipped through it. It opened behind an old liquor cabinet, so James had to squeeze by it. He was careful to keep quiet. Rosmerta likely wouldn’t care about the passage, but she would care if he damaged her alcohol supply in any way. “Now we just have to make it up the stairs without being seen and we’re in the clear.”

Lily was almost grateful for him running off down the corridor, taking the light with him. At least he couldn’t see her smiling. Though if he had caught it, she could always blame it on his foolishness, not the idea that he was actually funny - something she doubted he would everlet her live down.

Despite his words, she flinched at the echoes of his footfalls in the narrow corridor, a telltale splash but no crash followed, easing her nerves as she rushed to catch up to him. She would never forgive herself if he had actually fallen while trying to prove her wrong.

Lily reached his puddle just as he spun, one arm raising to block the sudden flash of light and mouth open to retort - he was off again, ducking through the door he’d been leading them to. With a baffled laugh, Lily squeezed in behind him. One hand reached out in the dark to grab hold of him, lest he decide to run off and leave her again.

“If no one in the castle found us, I hardly doubt we’re going to get caught in here at this hour,” Her smiles were coming easier now and she was too distracted by her surroundings to really worry about it - to worry about getting caught.

Little Talks||L&J

lilydearx:

James heard her words, but they didn’t register. There was too much on his mind already revolving around Marlene. Having hope in what they had been wasn’t going to muddle all his negativity up, no way. Besides, they were young. They had so much life left to live. Settling down wasn’t in the cards for either of them yet. Maybe they would end up together in the end, but for now the cards had already been dealt. There was no turning back.

“We’re Head Mister and Missus, Lily Evans. We’re the ones who catch people being bad in the dead of night. So if the ones who are supposed to stop the bad do the bad, then where’s the harm, really?” He bobbed his head in a nod. “You’re right. There’s none.” They made it to one of James’ commonly used secret passage ways. It looked like an ordinary cupboard under a back stairway, but when he opened the door there was a stairway going straight down.

“This will bring us out under the Three Broomsticks. It’s a bit of a walk, but we definitely won’t get caught.” He flicked his wand, lighting the dusty passage before them and made the decent. It was winding and mildly cramped, but the damp corridor was one of the less noisy. They were in complete silence except for their footsteps. James glanced down at her. She was so pale in the dim light, her luminescent hair almost looked like fire. James smirked, “Can you believe you’re in a lonely corridor with James Potter?”

The cupboard door wasn’t very encouraging, though the situation improved when she saw he wasn’t, in fact, pulling some joke and trying to push her headfirst into a broom closet. Focusing on the steps and keeping him from tumbling over took most of her focus off the panic fluttering about in her head about consequences and the odds that McGonagall might be taking some 2 am stroll in the village at the outskirts of Hogwarts’ grounds. “Ha-ha,” Scrunching up her nose at him, she wasn’t about to admit that no, she could not believe it and when she woke up in the morning that probably wouldn’t change, “You’re hilarious.” Lily pressed one hand against the cold stone wall to ensure their balance, her habit of falling headlong down both flat and crooked surfaces not comforting in light provided by a lumos charm. She imagined James would only be a fraction funnier with a missing tooth and black eye from a fall, and him being in such a state to begin with, she wasn’t sure she would even find it funny with him cracking jokes.

“Just try not to fall, l’right?” She suggested, much happier when her feet rested on the smooth ground of the passage, casting just one last uncertain glance back up the flight of stairs at the closed cupboard door that had led them here. “I can’t carry you back to the infirmary by myself, as fun as that idea sounds.”

Little Talks||L&J

lilydearx:

“I would but Dorcas would probably skin me before I could get to her.” His voice held casual notes but as he spoke his stomach turned itself into slow knots. “Not that I would blame her. I was a jerk.” James wasn’t one to bank on regret. What happened in the past was chapters in what he hoped would be a very long and fulfilling story. It didn’t do to dwell for very long. When one worked on impulse the way James did, there was no time to stop and think about your mistakes. It made some people so angry at him. Especially in situations where all they wanted was an apology, but James wasn’t even aware he had done anything wrong. Being accidentally stuck at the back end of a prank was not something he would ever apologize for.

“It’s over, Evans.” He told her, commenting one last time on his fretful status with Marlene. “We had a good run, but I think it might be for good. I mucked it all up.” He didn’t sound quite as upset about it as he had several months earlier though. By this time, it was something he felt almost comfortable admitting. And he could admit that it was all on him.

James swung his arm around Lily’s shoulders as they walked. It was silent for a while, and he couldn’t say that he minded it too much. Even James Potter liked the absence of chaos sometimes. And he was steady for the most part, but every now and then he felt his head spin in a bad way. So he supported himself with his arm around her thin shoulders.

“Good question,” He replied. “I’m not really sure, but I’ve got to get out of this castle.” He didn’t even ask her permission. It was long after curfew, but he didn’t care. What good was being Head Boy if you couldn’t break the rules on the down low? He smirked because he had a feeling she would protest. But only for a moment. Her curiosity would far outweigh her do-gooder personality.

“That doesn’t necessarily mean your friendship is over, though, does it?” Lily was by no means new to breakups - though her most recent had been the most serious anything had ever gotten, and she still managed to flake out of it - but James and Marlene had always been something different. They had a foundation. Lily had always thought they’d be the ones to stick.

She gave up far quicker than she normally would. Something in the way he simply accepted defeat made her more comfortable in doing so. In the end, it wasn’t her decision to make. She had finally learned she couldn’t fix everything - and she didn’t need to. One glance confirmed - even sloshing drunk - that James Potter had done a lot of growing up over the summer. Lily tensed when his arm rested heavily around her, resisting the reflex that normally would have shrugged it off. He was pressing on her in a way that quietly suggested his arm was there for more than just to irritate her, and she wasn’t going to let her awkwardness be the reason she sent him toppling over. Mouth opening automatically to protest, Lily started with a “What if we get cau-” who in Merlin’s name would be up at this hour to get them into trouble? “Oh.” Slumping a bit in defeat, “Right.” Laughing a little at her own foolishness, Lily let herself be steered along the corridor, wishing she had listened to Mary’s advice to bring a jumper.

Little Talks||L&J

James drank every now and then, as he was young and that was part of the culture. But he hadn’t drank himself into such a state as this in quite some time. In fact, the last time he had been equally as pissed had been his sixteenth birthday. That was a night of no returns that he and his mates all agreed they remembered nothing of. Birthdays were special occasions. If it was your birthday, you were allowed to do whatever you pleased without repercussion. It was your bloody day of birth, after all!

“Are we still friends?” He asked, looking up towards the redhead for the first time. He might have been just a tiny bit hopeful. “I was afraid I’d mucked it all up.” Marlene had been one of the few females he didn’t find annoying growing up, and once they’d reached puberty she had been one of the few girls he didn’t find himself drooling over. Until a time when it wasn’t socially acceptable to go to Hogsmeade without a date anymore. He asked her, thinking it would be two mates pretending to be on a date to avoid the genuine awkwardness of a real first date and instead finding that not only was it a first date, but Marlene would come to be his first in many, many areas.

James was suddenly on his feet, and though he felt the spirits swish dangerous inside of him, he was walking and ready to be anywhere else but stuck in that hallway. He had a new pep to his step, feeling as though a weight had been lifted. He didn’t really know what it was, whether it was Marlene or Lily or Alcohol. Either way, he felt better. He was ready to make it last. James got halfway down it when he realized Lily wasn’t following him. He looked back over his shoulder. “Aren’t you coming, mate?”

“You should talk to her,” Lily repeated gently. Her brow furrowed at his uncertainty, though paired with Marlene’s reluctance to ‘bother’ him, this could simply be just another misunderstanding where both parties are just afraid to take the first step. just fucking great. Being on the sidelines of other people’s relationships with James had helped stop the fighting - but it had muddled with her ability to be helpful and it was starting to become more frustrating than James himself.

She swore she had only looked down a second - nails picking at each other anxiously - and she glanced up again and James was no longer stretched out beside her. Head snapping up, she watched as he swayed down the hallway. Scrambling to her feet, Lily was in the middle of arguing with herself over whether to follow or not when he made the decision for her, and she was rushing to catch up.

Keeping an eye on him would be much easier while he wanted her around, and she kept herself ready in case he tipped over sideways. The farther down the corridor they got, however, the more she realized the odds of him needing her to save him were very slim, as he was surprisingly steady on his feet. “Dare I ask where we’re going?”

ofquidditch

#lily

Little Talks||L&J

messr-james:

“I’m good here,” James said, shrugging his shoulders casually. The walls were spinning a bit and he thought if he moved he might find his last few meals coming back up to the surface. Lily was not someone James ever felt the need to get to know. Her choice in friends and lovers outside of their house was poor. He couldn’t respect that, never had been able to. And these were things he thought even during his brief crush on her in third year.

Lily had gotten really pretty over that summer - or perhaps that was the first time he really paid attention to her to notice - and James boiled it down to hormones. He was thirteen, after all. The bottom line was that he didn’t know her. Because of these things, he couldn’t quite read her like he could the others. She was a stranger to him. Or as good as one anyway. So the look on her face read a bit like worry, but there was no way of really telling.

“Talk to you?” He was confused. “About what?” He felt fine, didn’t think he needed to do any talking. But then, he did have a lot going on currently. Actually, that wasn’t even true. What was remarkable was that he didn’t have absolutely anything to do in that moment. He was on pause for the night, and so his thoughts got away from him and he found himself talking.

“Have you talked to Marlene at all?” The question left him without his consent, but after that he felt himself saying more. “Because I haven’t talked to her for quite a while, and I’d really like to know how she’s doing.”

Lily had always been a very social person, trying her best to befriend anyone no matter their background. Most times it didn’t work out - she was too loud and flighty to form any strong relationships with anyone outside her house, especially when she was young and still adjusting to Petunia shutting her out. She hadn’t seen what the others had in Severus’ heart at first, either, too blinded by their young friendship to see what he had become until he turned it on her. It took her too long to figure out where her loyalties needed to lie, but she felt the friendships she did have strengthen the moment she let Severus go.

“About - about what’s happened,” She tried to explain without pestering him too much. She and James had never really sat down and talked alone, even when he’d pursued her, and she felt it might be obvious in their interactions now. Constantly tip-toeing round the other, what his reasons for it were, she didn’t know - probably lack of caring - but she couldn’t stand the thought of setting off another bomb. She was so tired of fighting. Once again, Lily’s conversation with Marlene that early morning at breakfast rang in her ears. She hadn’t asked her any questions regarding the young man in front of her but her face had said enough for her and Lily had done her best. “Talk to her quite a lot,” Lily said, lowering her gaze. She remembered Marlene appearing on her doorstep in the summer, frustrated and crying because of this very boy. He didn’t need to know that, though. “And she’s doing alright, James,” Green eyes lifted to meet his bloodshot ones, “But I think she misses her friend.”

sheburnsbrightly-blog

1347 ( the game is afoot )| m & l.

#p #p: the game is afoot #au: 1347

lilydearx:

Her hands moved in a frenzy, crushing this herb or that root into some semblance of a remedy. She did not pause to wipe moisture from her brow, or to inquire upon the work of her partner. There was little time for hindrance. Fingers now stained plum from shrivelfig, she exhales a huff of frustration. It is but another on a list of unexplainable things she must create an explanation for should her husband inquire. It was thankless work, doing what the so called doctor’s could not, adorned like birds with long beaks. They were better. They floated as inconspicuously as they could amongst the sick, dispensing poultices, potions, and charms to provide relief. The Great Mortality, some called it. Capable of taking the lives of droves in the fell swoop of one day, most regarded it as an act of God – a signal for penance. Marlene had the sense that only an education ( of a magical degree ) could offer her. This enterprise was in no way her own. She had matters of family and household to attend to. On days of particular vexation, she’d imagine herself a victim of unfortunate circumstances. Bound to the friendship of days past, when the crimson haired woman had begged her aid – who was she to refuse? Magical blood had thankfully left her family untouched by the grasps of the epidemic. Life continued for them. She did her part as mistress of her household, watching the suffering of others through rose colored glass. It wasn’t until Lily appeared at her doorstep with her revolutionary idea that Marlene thought about the good she could do. Mothers would not depart from their children if they could help it. Husbands and wives would remain united. So, she stole away in the dead of night, and they worked. On days of particular vexation, she nearly wished curse upon curse onto Lily. She wanted to curse the other for reminding her what she used to fight for, for reminding her that she had fallen victim to routine. It was a routine she had become fond of, yes, as mother and wife, but it was a far cry from the wild girl she had once been ( and perhaps still was – somewhere. ) Pausing her work briefly, she lifted her eyes to her companion, wiping hands in vain with a spare piece of cloth.

❝ If we’re to continue – we’re in dire need of Mandrake Root. ❞

It wasn’t unusual for Lily to get lost in thought while pressing herbs, storing a few here and there along the shelves of the backroom. She’d spent most of the day collecting what she thought they might need for that night — but per usual she’d overlooked something and another excursion would need to be made.

Whatever this plague was — act of God or not — from the start, Lily had been unable to stand by and watch. The city was handling it with less panic than the outlying regions, those being the villages that Lily had spent most of her time until the illness reached London. She had returned reluctantly, having cut off from most contacts. What was considered traditional had never appealed to Lily and, despite her mother’s efforts, she had managed to slip out of any suitor’s wanting grasp.

She could only be happy were she able to remain free, and free she was.

Reuniting with Marlene was a blessing she couldn’t doubt, her green eyes flashing over to her companion a few seconds before returning to the task of crushing rosemary and funneling it into the slim bottle placed before her. There were some families who would not accept medicine from the hooded figure who appeared only at night, even with rumors of health returning to some families. Lily had taken to burying charms of health near their property instead.

She knew it had been hard on Marlene to continuously sneak out into the city to help her sneak medicine and charms to the sick, especially when there were so many in need of help and she had a family to care for — and should they be caught — Lily wouldn’t let herself think of the consequences. She couldn’t sit by while people died. She wouldn’t.

“Mandrake root — that’s not too far —” Lily wiped her hands on her apron, bottling up the jar of rosemary and stretching on her toes to put it back in its place. “We could fetch it and deposit some of the medicine on the way,” Face smeared with dust and fragments of herb stuck to her wild hair, Lily was certainly a sight to be seen even as she pulled her heavy cloak over her dress and drew the hood over her tell-tale hair.

“Quickly, Marlene, we haven’t much time ‘fore the night ends.”

Little Talks||L&J

#p #p: little talks #presentp #5 sep 1977

messr-james:

James continued to watch her as she pulled herself up against the wall. He didn’t talk as much as he used to, no longer feeling the need to fill silence with useless noise. If he had something relevant to say, he would say it. He used to think everything he had to say was worth listening to, but nowadays his opinion of himself was changing. Was this part of growing up? Did getting older mean that you suddenly didn’t believe in yourself the same way you used to? While he could relate some of his new found lacking self-confidence to the death of his mother, most of it he felt in the nerves constantly eating away the pit of his stomach.

He was fine right then, though. In that moment he felt normal. Well, as normal as he could feel when there was liquor buzzing behind his eyelids.

“Lily,” James mimicked, still smiling. Saying her first name felt strange in his mouth. He didn’t reckon he had done it very much aloud. As thoughts swam around in his head, he felt it difficult to continue focusing on what she was saying. With his efforts he realized that he didn’t appreciate the words coming out of her mouth. “I am not moping.” He crossed his arms over his chest, his head still leaned back against the wall. “I was tired - wanted a kip.” He realized how that sounded. Who took naps in the middle of a deserted corridor? “I do,” he told her, out loud.

She sighed, running a hand through her hair and looking away from him down the dark corridor in order to gather her thoughts. She didn’t have a lot of ideas, but she figured she’d need to get James back to the common room somehow, although he seemed steady enough. At least they didn’t have to worry about getting caught by anyone else. Even with James swaying and Lily being a terrible liar, it was hard to confront the two students with the most authority. Besides, it was late enough that Lily wasn’t worried about any prefects wandering about, let alone a professor.

“Can you at least let me get you to the common room? You can nap there,” Even with the suggestion, Lily hadn’t budged from her position. It seemed futile to try and get James up and moving if he didn’t want to in the first place, even if Gryffindor tower wasn’t far off. If there was anything she remembered about him, it was how stubborn he could be at times, and she wasn’t sure her patience was up for that battle.

Lily had the good fortune of being able to claim many of her family members as being alive - perhaps estranged or eccentric, but alive. She didn’t know exactly what he was going through, and she knew she wasn’t anxious to experience it firsthand, but it certainly didn’t make her want to simply ignore James and anything he was going through.

“I mean - if you don’t want to move, you don’t have to - I just thought -” What did she think? What would he think? How much had the two of them changed since she last looked him in the eye?

Faced with a plethora of questions and more self-doubt than she was comfortable with, Lily found herself trying again, quieter than before:

“What’s actually wrong, James? Please talk to me.”

Little Talks||L&J

#p #p: little talks #5 sep 1977

messr-james:

James leaned his head back against the wall and watched her with heavy lids. Lily was pretty with her red hair and pale skin and freckles. James was a sucker for pale skin and freckles. He didn’t know what it was about them that had him strung but ever girl he ever took notice of had features similar to those. Personalities were far and wide, but pale skin was often. Granted, that wasn’t hard to do where it was always raining. Lily was struggling with something as she sat there. Even in his inebriated state, James could see that. He didn’t say anything though. He just stared, afraid that he might be dreaming and not knowing why. He wasn’t particularly attracted to Lily, but she really had lovely knickers.

“You kicked me?” James gave her a sloppy, lopsided smirk as she brought him out of his thoughts. “What’d you do that for?” She didn’t mean to, she told him. And he grinned at her because he begged to differ. “I think you did it on purpose.” He was only joking. The conversation, it seemed, took a quick turn. James could tell by the quiet seriousness of her voice. She seemed genuinely concerned about him. It was a new side of her that he hadn’t seen before. He’d be lying if he said he wasn’t mildly into it.

“I’m fine,” he said, more out of habit than anything else. His voice cracked with it but only slightly. “Tired,” was all he managed after that. James closed his eyes, suddenly remembering now what he had been about to do before she showed up. “Are you alright?” He asked through clouds of sleep. He smiled to himself out of intoxication and pride. Look at that; he tried to be considerate even when he was drunk.

Even as James grinned and teased her, Lily found herself frowning. It wasn’t unusual to find herself in that situation with James, but instead of being an irritated scowl, it was something else entirely. She wasn’t sure how she felt about the weight in her chest when she swiveled to face him better, leaning her side against the wall and curling up one leg to accommodate her skirt.

“James,” She said earnestly, and, hoping to pull him out of the little haze he seemed to fall in and out of, Lily rested a hand on his leg. Just as soon as she somewhat leaned into him, she realized where the sharp, cinnamon-y smell had been coming from.

Oh God, was he drunk? Was that a firewhiskey smell or was this a normal Potter smell?

Clearing her throat, Lily tried to get back on track. Even if he was drunk—she still couldn’t quite tell—she couldn’t just leave him sitting there in the empty corridor.

“People who are fine don’t stumble out to mope alone in the hall, James,” She pointed out as gently as she could, trying to find some kind of sobering charm in the back of her mind. So far, nothing came up that was relatively helpful. If James was drunk, she was going to have to deal with it.

Little Talks||L&J

#p #p: little talks #5 sep 1977

messr-james:

James Potter wasn’t a quitter. Every plan he ever made he saw through to the very end. Even if he didn’t really want to finish it, he did. Because that’s how he was. Sirius dared him to eat a whole big box of Bertie Botts in two minutes once and he did it. He was violently ill later but he still kept to his side of the agreement, which was to get the job done. That being said, when James decided to drink the bottle of fire-whiskey he bought the night before with the intention of saving for a party, he drank every last drop. It took him several hours to do so, of course. He had shut himself away in his dorm directly after classes and began studying over potions - his worst subject. He’d cracked open the bottle and sipped on it all night. Until finally, everyone in the room was asleep and the words were running together on the page, making it one big ink splotch.

“Fuck it,” he slurred, waving his hand at the papers scattered around his desk. He got up, feeling every bone in his body crackle as he did so. He took a sweatshirt out of his trunk and slipped it over his head before heading out of his dorm. He wanted to go for a walk, stretch his aching bones. It was much after curfew, but being head boy put him in the advantage of being able to roam as he pleased.

At least, that’s how James took it.

He stumbled out through the portrait hole and began walking. He didn’t know where he was going, just that he had been walking for quite some time and was suddenly extremely tired. Not one to argue with his needs, James put his back against the wall and let his body slide to the floor. He had been nearly asleep in seconds. And believe it or not, this would not be the first time he woke up in a random corridor. Over the years, James had discovered about himself that his favorite thing to do when he was pissed was go somewhere no one could find him. He supposed the alcohol typically got the best of him though, and he knocked out on the stone floor only to wake and go straight to breakfast where his friends knew he would be first thing in the morning.

Right on the cusp of dreamland, however, he felt something solid hit him in the shin and send a ripple of pain up his entire leg. His eyes creaked open and he looked up, bloodshot blue eyes taking in a very muddled cloud of crimson. There were two women standing before him with lovely matching knickers. They were floral and he had a very nice view of them.

No, hold on.

“Evans,” James blinked away her unwelcome twin, removed his eyes from her arse in effort to respect her, and shook his head as she sat herself beside him. “Wot’cher?”

Lily had never been much for parties. She was loud and had had her share of whiskey, but she was also short and easily angered, and being around her intoxicated peers usually wound up with her either jumping for something they held over her head or yelling, so whenever a party would emerge that was sure to end with a lot of hangovers, Lily would find a corner and camp out there for most of the night or find Mary, who was sure to keep her in line and stomp on anyone who took a short joke too far.

Needless to say, Lily should have been able to notice when someone was absolutely pissed.

Instead, she took his slow blinking simply as surprise to see her - it was rather late after all - and she only wasted a moment in peering at him and deducted the heavy lids to lack of sleep.

“Just out and about, s’all,” She smoothed out her skirt, unsure now what she had planned to do once she’d sat down beside him. She could hardly just flop down beside him, say a friendly greeting, get up and flounce off. Lily tilted her head to look at him again, wondering why he felt so off to her. It was like he couldn’t quite focus in on her, though she’d known him to be rather flighty in the past, but this was different. She must have been making him feel awkward, what with just sitting down uninvited in the dead of night and -

Merlin what was that smell?

Her nose scrunched up at the sudden sharpness that hit it, and she was now the one blinking furiously as she tried to pin down just what the smell was and why it was so familiar to her - and she hadn’t said anything and she was just sitting there staring at James Potter trying to figure out a smell and he must have thought she was mad by this point.

A flush of embarrassment spreading up to her ears, Lily cleared her throat and tried to think of something to say that wouldn’t be entirely insensitive and lead them to some sort of fight. They’d barely been in school, and if they went back to fighting it was going to be a long, miserable year for both of them.

“Sorry for kicking ye,” She said finally, “I know it’s probably the last thing you need on top of everythin’ else.” Her conversation with Marlene still rang in her ears, the easy, almost companionable silence she’d shared with James just a few days earlier made her feel more comfortable sitting with him, but at the same time she was very aware that he’d had one hell of a summer and now she was barreling back into his life with her careless words and insensitivity.

“Sorry,” She said again without thinking, a habit she’d picked up over the summer. Frequent apologizing seemed to be the only way she could forgive herself for her own incompetence with social interaction, always too loud or too obtrusive - but even without Marlene worrying, Lily was concerned about James, and finding him alone and miserable in an empty corridor didn’t make her want to leave him moping, even if he got annoyed with her prodding.

“Are you - are you doing alright?”

Wolfsbane||Lily&Remus