You’ll Be Okay - Remus Lupin
Warnings - angst, remus and reader are really close, remus has bad taste, reader is described as a whore, alcohol
Summary - Remus and reader have been friends since they were kids, when remus gets a girlfriend, things go south
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You’ve been friends with Remus since you were eleven, when Mulciber and his gang of Slytherin friends made fun of your glasses - and when Remus said that you were the most beautiful girl he’d ever met you knew that you’d found a friend for life.
That’s all you were to Remus. A best friend. Even if you wanted more.
And for a while you convinced yourself he wanted more. The constant sleepovers and overly affectionate nicknames, the cuddling in the common room - for merlin’s sake even Lily asked if you guys were dating, and you blushed and stuttered that you weren’t and he’s just a friend.
Just a friend. Even if you needed more.
So you couldn’t pretend it didn’t hurt when Remus came bounding into your room saying he had a date - a girl in the year above, Sarah Coles.
“Can you believe it love?” he says smiling wide, “She wants to go on a date with me”
And he’s just so excited that you pretend you are too, and ask around about this Sarah. Just to make sure he would be safe, obviously, for no other reason at all.
So far you’d found that:
- She was a seventh year
- She was a half-blood
- Most people say she’s pretty nice unless she doesn’t like you
- She was beautiful
That’s what hurt the most. She was everything you wanted to be the most. She was model thin and blonde and beautiful and you were just you.
It hurt even more when Remus announced it was official. And it nearly killed you when he started missing plans to hangout with her.
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After weeks of barely seeing Remus it was finally time for a Gryffindor party, after the most recent quidditch win. You dressed up in a new dress, something you’d treated yourself to in hogsmeade recently and were dancing the night away.
Until you stopped to get a drink, and your heart stopped.
“How are things with you and Remus babes?”
You stop and listen.
“Great, though they’d be better if that whore of a friend of his stopped following him around all the time and don’t get me started on the petnames and sleepovers” She laughs, “You’d think she’d realise he doesn’t want her”
And your heart sinks to your stomach. Before you know it, you’re grabbing a full bottle of firewhiskey and walking back to the dancefloor.
Safe to say you don’t remember much after that.
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You didn’t see Remus much after that, constantly trying to avoid him. When you did see him it was different - there was no more cute petnames or sleepovers, even when neither of you could sleep the days after a full moon.
It broke your heart to see that your departure from his life didn’t really affect him that much.
But you’d never know how much he was affected. From the beginning, Sarah had been against your guys friendship, saying it was disrespectful to her. So he respected her boundaries but said he’d never cut you off, that you were one of the most important things in his entire life.
And she seemed okay with that. Until she wasn’t.
She kept telling him how a good boyfriend would listen, and if he loved her he’d cut you off and Remus began to worry - he didn’t want to lose her but he didn’t want to lose you.
And when you disappeared from his life he was confused. When you didn’t turn up to your monthly sleepover after the full moon he began to worry you were upset with him.
He really began to worry when you started drinking more at parties. Like Lilys birthday party, where you were dancing and stumbling across the floor, until you stumbled into him.
“Sorry” you hiccup.
“Hey” he laughs steadying you by putting his hands on your arms, “How much have you had?”
“Not enough”
You place your hands on his chest and push yourself away from him to go get another drink, but his hand grabs your wrist and pulls you back
“Whoa there love, I think you’ve had plenty”
“Your girlfriend won’t like you calling me that” You slur poking him in the chest
He just stares at you confused. You hiccup again.
“Is that why you’ve been avoiding me?”
“I thought you’d appreciate not being followed around by your little whore” You giggle bitterly and walk towards the dancefloor. “Now i’m gonna dance”
“Then I’m going to dance with you love” He follows you out to the dancefloor and stands behind you
“I thought you hated dancing”
“Yeah I do”
“Then why are you” You face screws up in confusion
“You love to dance” He shrugs “And I miss you”
You try and ignore the swelling in your heart and turn your face back away from him to hide your blush, slowly beginning to sway your hips to the beat.
His hands find their way to your hips as he aways with you and you fight the urge to shiver and blush more. Your moves aren’t fluid from all the alcohol but you freeze completely when Remus leans down to whisper in your ear.
“Talk to me love, why’re you ignoring me?” He whispers “Did something happen, is everything alright? Was it me?”
You turn to face him, looking up towards him.
“Remus..” You look into his eyes “It’s not you”
He looks down at you and whispers “See that’s what I mean, you never call me by my full name”
You giggle lightly “I’m too drunk to have this conversation”
“Maybe”
You look down, biting your lip, now not dancing at all. Your heart freezes however when he grabs your chin, leaning your head up and pulling your lip from your teeth.
“Don’t do that” He whispers “You’ll get all bruised”
Unable to control yourself, you both become lost staring at each others lips. That is until…
“Remmyyyy” She whines
You instantly take a step back “Duty calls for you I guess”
He looks down at you and tries to pull you back in, “Stay”
“She doesn’t want me here” The weight of your words sinking in for Remus “So I’m gonna go to bed” You giggle.
“Are you gonna go back to ignoring me?”
You take a breath in.
“You’ll be okay”
You turn around and walk up the stairs, eyes turning glassy with unshed tears, smudging the eyeliner you begged Marlene to put on you.
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The next couple of days were hell. The realisation that you weren’t going to see Remus anymore broke you and your friends knew it.
Little did you know, the realisation broke Remus to. He couldn’t believe he let some girl ruin the best thing in his entire life.
The door to your dorm burst open, Remus standing in the doorway out of breath.
“I need to speak to you”
You sit up in bed, trying to smooth out your hair and fix your puffy eyes.
“Does Sarah know your here?”
He scoffs “Fuck Sarah”
“Well what you do in your spare time is none of my business Remus” You giggle slightly.
“Can I sit?” He points to your bed where your still sat
“Of course”
“I broke up with Sarah this morning”
Silence fills the room for a second.
“Are you okay?”
“At the party, you said I’d be okay” He looks down at this shoes.
“Yeah and?”
“I dont want to be okay without you” He whispers.
Your breath hitches.
“I don’t think I know how”
You turn to face him, sat cross legged on the bed.
“I’m not everything you are Remus”
“Yes you are” He looks in your eyes “Ever since we were eleven and you were being made fun of, it’s been you. You were the prettiest girl in the world for me”
“I know i’m not the prettiest girl anymore Rem” You giggle
He leans his forehead on yours, placing his hands on your cheeks.
“You’re not getting it love” He chuckles “I’m so sorry it took me almost losing you to realise this”
“Realise what?”
“This”
And all of a sudden his lips were on yours, pulling you in by your cheeks, one hand reaching into your hair. Your arms wrap around his neck moving closer to him, smiling into the kiss.
After a moment he pulls away. His forehead resting back on yours.
“I was gonna kiss you at that party”
“I wanted you to” You giggle biting your lip slightly.
He runs his thumb across your lips and pulls it from between your teeth.
“I thought I told you to stop doing that” He whispers.
“Guess I forgot” You smirk.
He smirks and leans closer to you, putting his hand on your waist.
“I’m staying in here tonight”
“No objections from me” You giggle