idk what to do with this particular blog, but I really want someplace to maybe organize my thoughts better, or to straight up do a nsfw blog, I guess I'll see what happens first
Something really nice about imagining Isabeau not as a puppyboy but as a well-trained, working dog. Obedient and pliant and ritualistic. A dog who listens when you tell him to bark or roll over. A dog who's muzzled and restrained not because he needs to be, but because he wants to be molded in the shape of his owner's desires. Strong, powerful, quiet, meek, diligent.
Warning for consensual somnophilia, though it doesn't include the actual sex. It's just the conversations before and after and Siffrin fantasizing a little because they're the pov character and sleeps through it + that's what I wanted to write.
You sit with your legs fidgeting, looking down at your hands in your lap. You’re startled out of your thoughts when you hear Isabeau’s voice.
“Siffrin?”
Your head shots up when you look at him and like on instinct, you put on a smile.
“Yes?”
Isabeau only looks more concerned seeing your shift in expression. Oops! You try to relax your face and make your smile less forced.
“Uh, can I touch you?”
You… nod. Isabeau reaches out a hand and rests it on top of your thigh. OH! You didn’t expect him to touch you there. You blush and bury your face into the collar of your cloak.
“Are you okay? You seem kind of tense.”
“I’m fine.”
Isabeau gives you a serious look. Agh! You have to stop reflexively saying that! You lift your face from your collar and look at him.
“I mean, it’s nothing bad! I’m just thinking about stuff.”
“Do you wanna talk about it?”
His gaze has softened a little. He still looks concerned but he seems to believe you. Stars, the look he’s giving you isn’t helping your mood. You want to-
“Can we kiss?”
Isabeau startles in surprise.
“AH? S-sure, Sif.”
He leans in. Hesitantly, afraid to destroy the moment, you grab his collar and pull him into a kiss. He didn’t expect your initiative, but quickly adjusts and wraps his arms around you to hold you close.
You still think you’re getting into this more than Isabeau. You press your legs together and hold back from making any embarrassing sounds or movements. Isa pulls away a little earlier than you would’ve liked. You let him.
You’re back to looking at the hands in your lap, fidgeting with them this time. Isabeau looks to the side for a moment, smiling lightly, his face still being visibly shaded.
“...You weren’t just nervous because you wanted to ask for a kiss, right?”
You snort. You and Isa have been kissing before you had even finally decided you wanted to be with him. You were well past being shy about asking for kisses… mostly. You appreciate his concern, but this wasn’t it.
“No, I was just wondering if… I can ask you something.”
Isa looks surprised.
“Of course, Sif! Anything!!”
Oh no. He’s so cute and optimistic about it. It almost makes it harder for you to open up about it.
“It’s really weird, though.”
“Sif…”
Carefully, Isabeau grabs one of your hands, and holds it in his.
“I want you to be able to talk to me about anything. Even if it’s weird or gross or whatever else you’re worried about. We can talk through it, okay?”
You… take a deep breath. Right. He thinks you’re worth the effort. It’s not the end of the world if you say something wrong. So you should just say it.
“Do you remember how I said that I don’t want to… ‘do things’?”
He raises an eyebrow. “Yeah?”
Of course he remembers. His memory is better than yours. You still wanted to ask though, in case you forgot to tell him in the first place. You don’t really remember telling him, and it’s important for… what you’re planning to tell him now.
“I think there’s a way where I would want to try it? Again, it’s kinda weird and we don’t have to if you don’t want to.”
“Sif.”
Isabeau places a firm hand onto your shoulder.
“If I don’t want to, I’ll just say no and we can forget about it, okay? Or we can talk about it, if you’re that worried.”
“Yeah… Yeah, okay.”
You breathe in, and out. You shove down the imaginary scenarios of Isabeau leaving you and telling all your friends about how disgusting you are that you’ve played through your mind over and over again.
Let’s get to it.
“Could we try doing it while I’m, um, asleep?”
You can feel Isabeau freeze as his grip on your shoulder tightens and his eyes go wide.
“H-HUH?!”
You bury your face back into your cloak. Isabeau takes his hand off your shoulder, and stays silent for a moment.
“Siffrin… you’re not- are you trying to push yourself to have sex with me?”
You look up. “Huh?”
“Well, you did say you don’t usually want to, and now you’re suggesting we try it while you’re asleep? I don’t want you to force yourself to do anything…”
“Oh, no. It’s not like that.”
“Uh-huh. What’s it like then?”
Stars, he’s doubting you again. Sometimes you’re tired of this. Tired of your friends feeling the need to double- and triple-check on you. You clench your fists.
“You don’t believe me.”
“What?”
“I can tell from your tone, Isa. You don’t believe I’m doing this for myself.” you sigh. “Nevermind.”
His expression gets more nervous. “Ah, I didn’t mean for it to come out like that. I’m sorry, Sif.”
He hesitates for a moment.
“But I promise I’m not just asking because of that. It’s just… a lot? And I want us to know what we’re getting into, you know? Especially because we never talked about having sex before.”
You… nod.
“Sorry, I- You’re right. We should talk about this. Um,”
Stars, where do you even begin? He was worried about you normally not wanting this stuff, right? Maybe that’s where you should start.
“I think doing this normally would just be too much for me?”
You can feel your face warm up in embarrassment as you think about what to say next.
“There is… a lot of gross noise and smells, right? And you have to act in certain ways too. I think I’d end up-” you try to come up with a fitting description. "-performing? too much to even try to enjoy it.”
You pause to think.
“But I also just think it would feel weird to me? Though it probably feels nice afterwards. A-And I sometimes get a bit… aroused when we sleep together? I don’t really know why… maybe because I feel comfortable?”
Isabeau listens intently.
“Is that all?”
“There’s… something else, but it’s a little embarrassing. Give me a moment.”
Isabeau nods, and waits. You breathe.
“I would be worried about forcing you into anything. Which is funny, because I’m the one who usually doesn’t want this. But I don’t want you to feel pressured to do anything. Uh,”
You smile nervously. “Even now I feel like I’m somehow manipulating you into something? But at least when I sleep you can just. Not do anything if you don’t want to, right?”
Isabeau looks at you thoughtfully.
“Well Sif, if I can trust you to know what you want, you can also trust me to know what I want, right?”
“I know, it’s not that I don’t trust you, it’s just… you know.”
“Brain bad?” he offered.
“Brain bad.” you agree, with an exhausted smile.
“I get it. But we can still always try things. I promise to tell you when I don’t want to do something.”
Thanks, Isa. But it’s not just that.”
“Right. You said you think it’d feel weird during but good afterwards?”
You nod. “Is that weird?”
“Not at all! A lot of people masturbate just for stress relief. It’s just the part about not wanting to experience the during at all that’s a bit unusual?”
“Makes sense.” You tug at your cloak. “We still don’t have to do anything, you know?”
“Sif. Siffarooni.”
Isabeau takes both of your hands, and gives you a smile.
“It’s kind of weird but I’m… flattered that you talked to me about this? It has to take a lot of trust for you to even consider doing this with me. Which makes me happy.”
You nod.
“So, uh, I’m not opposed. To trying, I mean.”
Your face starts to light up, when Isabeau raises his voice.
“BUT! I can’t promise you I will do anything, we need to plan ahead, and we will talk about it before and after. Alright?”
You smile. “Alright. Thanks, Isa.”
Isabeau smiles back, and gives you a kiss on the cheek.
-
You feel unusually naked, not wearing anything under your nightshirt. Go figure.
You sit down in bed, next to Isabeau. He’s been reading a book, already ready for bed, waiting for you to join. He sets the book aside when you climb in next to him.
“Are you still up for tonight?”
You nod. “Yeah. Also took off my underwear.”
You can’t help but smirk when you notice Isabeau’s blush. He’s so easy.
“Anything specific you want me to do?”
This is something you hadn’t actually thought about when the subject first came up. While you planned this, the only rule Isabeau set was that he wasn’t going to jump into straight-up sex. You told him you wanted to decide on something the evening before, both to have time to think and in case you change your mind on what you want.
You’re glad, in retrospect, both for your waiting and for Isabeau’s caution, because you know exactly what you want for now.
“Can you use your mouth down there? But don’t touch with your hands and don’t do anything with my chest.”
“Got it, buddy.”
Isabeau reaches to the nightstand to turn off the lamp. He settles down and reaches his arms out to you. You scoot closer and curl up next to him while he wraps his arms around you.
“...Sif?”
“Hmh?”
“I’m, uh, sorry? For doubting you, when you said you wanted this.”
….Oh! You’ve forgotten about that.
“You had a reason to be worried.”
“Yeah but… you also have good reason to be frustrated? We’ve been worried about you since the loops, but that doesn’t mean I want to restrict you or anything, you know?”
“I’m not mad about it anymore, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
“I just felt like we could’ve talked about it more? But, I’m glad we’re good.”
You think for a moment.
“Can I tell you about something? From the loops?”
“Sure.”
“In one of them you said that… you thought I was ashamed of knowing you? Or something like that.”
Isabeau looks surprised.
“Oh! …I did?”
You nod.
“I was also worried about you. That I would make you feel worse? I don’t want you to feel stupid or bad because of me, because I want this, so… so if I wake up and feel gross, it’s-”
It’s my fault, you stop yourself from saying.
“I don’t blame you.” you land on instead. “And you don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to.”
There is a moment of silence, before Isabeau speaks.
“Thanks, Sif… And if you do wake up feeling gross, please don’t feel bad on my behalf? I don’t want you to blame yourself or force yourself to do anything either.”
“I won’t.”
You both went silent.
You turn your head a little, to see the stars through one of the bedroom windows. You don’t think the aching in your chest at their sight will ever fully go away, but they don’t make you feel as empty as they used to.
“I love you, Isa.” you mumble, tired.
“I love you too, Sif.” he responds.
You barely notice when you doze off.
You have a nice dream.
-
It’s already bright out when you wake up. You stretch and cling to Isabeau, who’s sitting next to you, already dressed.
“What time is it?”
“10 A.M.” Isa fidgets with his sleeve. “How do you feel?”
“Hmm… good.”
“I know you usually get up earlier, but you looked comfortable so I didn’t want to wake you. Y-you remember what we talked about, yesterday?”
“Yes Isa, I know you ate me out.”
Your face went warm, saying it like that, but seeing Isabeau even more flustered made you grin.
“I liked it.”
You wonder if liked would be the right word for it, rather than like. You didn’t feel much of it, after all. But right now, you feel calm, refreshed, and a little excited about knowing what happened.
“It s-sounded like you did!” Isa says, grabbing his arm.
“I didn’t really know how to start? But then you made noises and I just. Did what seemed to make you feel good. S-So I’m glad you liked it!”
“I hope it wasn’t weird.”
“Heh. It was actually kinda cute? When you made noises I mean.”
Stars, he’s adorable. You didn’t really want to let go of Isabeau right now but reluctantly, you got up.
“I’m gonna clean up. I feel uh, sticky.”
Isabeau’s face goes darker.
“OH. RIGHT! Uh, I also already made breakfast earlier. There’s still some left in the kitchen.”
You smile. “Okay. Thank you.”
You think as you make your way to the bathroom. It seems to have gone well. Maybe you could do this again. You’d like that. Though, maybe next time you should give Isa permission to touch you, even just to help you clean up right after.
Stars, you wonder how it would feel waking up filled with Isabeau’s cum. Maybe you would feel warm and full. Maybe you would just feel even more sticky and a little gross.
Don’t think about that now. You know Isa wants to take this slow. Maybe he doesn’t want to do this at all anymore. You haven’t even talked about next time yet!
Isabeau riding a pillow during the journey because Siffrin slept on it the night before, and he's just muttering about how pathetic and disgusting this is while whimpering and whining, imagining Siffrin walking in on him doing this and yelling at him for it because he's just such a pervert for using the pillow Siffrin was sleeping on for this <3
have been rotating a thought for a couple weeks now that I want to write eventually. siffrin wakes up in the middle of the night to isabeau having a sexy dream and humping his leg. sif is like "do I wake him?? Do I let him keep going??" bc it's not like they particularly mind, but they're not sure if isabeau would be ok w this bc they've never discussed this particular Thing. and then isa says their name and sif is like "?????? He's dreaming about Me??????????" as if that is soooo unbelievable.
They eventually wake isa, who starts to freak it like "OMG IM SO SORRY I WAS ASLEEP ACK ILL GO TAKE CARE OF IT" and sif is like. Hold on calm down please. i can help you if you want??? And after isa finishes short circuiting and makes sure sif actually wants to do this and not just roll over and go back to sleep (they kind of do, but they don't mind helping isa), sif fingers him while asking what isabeau was dreaming about (answer: siffrin railing him into the mattress. which sif is extremely too tired to do/not interested in doing that night, but definitely alludes to doing at some point in the near future).
Period started today so I've been thinking about Odile fucking human Loop with the strap and whe n she pulls out you can see how strong loops flow is based on how much blood there is on the strap,.
What if Siffrin and Loop are both technically dormaphiles but Loop willingly tops Siffrin because seeing their clone enjoy himself in his sleep hits a similar appeal for them.
Post in the main tag rn that's basically "Siffrin eating Loop's star like in the intro but homoerotically" and I'm just "Ah, yes, Siffrin eating out the stussy. I've read that fic."
Okay, so, the funniest concept in the world to me is "waiting for bonding" Isabeau. Consider it. Vaugarde doesn't have that kind of culture. He learned about it in a translated Ka Buan romance book and thought it would be so romantic to lose his virginity on the night of his bonding ceremony.
Unfortunately, he's super bad at it and will cave like a wet cardboard box the moment that Siffrin asks for anything. Until they do, he's just white knuckling through his hormones.
Odile looping AU where she gets her own version of Loop that's also her. But not only does she immediately figure out it's herself, but also they immediately gets down to business and have the nastiest fuck up hate sex you've ever seen.
Just wanted to shout out the nsfw side of the isat fandom! You guys are so cool with your art and headcanons! They're all wonderful and make me want to cry of joy because it's exactly what my kinky asexual ass always wanted in my life. ily
romaincrisis
yousharknotpass
turnnoffyourmind
