Keep your eyes on the road, your hand upon the wheel | Rust Cohle x Reader PT.5
It had been almost a month since Rust had taken you out to the bar. During the time since, it seemed to you that the both of you had only grown closer.
A routine had been built. Off and on he’d find himself in your home. It seemed as though he was at your home more often than not. Rust had found his place in your kitchen, eyes on you as you cooked dinner after both of your shifts. Sometimes he’d take over but you often kicked him aside. You weren’t trying to play wife or girlfriend, it just felt right.
In return for your cooking, Rust would fix what needed fixing. Creaky door? You weren’t sure when it stopped creaking but ever since his invasion it had gone silent. Maybe he stared it to death or something. After dinner, the two of you often sprawled out on your worn out couch. A cigarette passed between the two of you, your legs tossed into his lap as he lazily drew circles into your skin with his thumb. Your dynamic wasn’t inherently sexual, nothing further had happened since the truck. Sure, you’d tried to jump his bones but it never worked. It was like something else was weighing on his mind.
What you didn’t know was how he was planning to disappear for a week. He’d found a lead tying back into a motorcycle gang he had once been in. It was all in the past until he realized that someone he once knew in the gang could lead him and Marty directly to the murderer they had desperately been searching for.
Rust had it all set up, he’d tell everyone he was leaving to visit his father. He’d even lie to you, there was no other way. Everyone but Marty had to be convinced of his absence. His partner could ride alongside him and cover him at the same time.
The two of you stood in your kitchen, it was like some kind of ritual. You were leaned up against the counter with a frown pulled at your mouth. “ Your father has leukemia?“ Rust had briefly spoken of his family, more of his father than his mom. Even still, it seemed as though man didn’t hold any soft feelings for the older Cohle.
Rust wasn’t sure if you’d take the bait, the man knew you too well. You had a mouth and you loved to open it up with a handful of attitude. Though you seemed rather sympathetic like you actually believed him. “ Yeah, he’s dyin. Gonna go up there for a few days and visit him. “ The man took a few steps toward you, hands gentle as he pulled you close to his chest. “ I’ll be fine, don’t you worry about me. “ His chest vibrated against your cheek as his words traveled down to you.
His words didn’t do much to comfort you, More questions and concerns only filled your head, you’d ask but Rust wasn’t the type of man to answer every trivial question.
You wondered if his father had been the reason for him acting so strange the past month. Had he known that long? Sure, Rust always acted a little strange but you could tell good strange from bad by now.
“ It’s hard not to, I’ve grown to like your… brooding silence. “ You tried to suck up your worry as you pulled yourself away to look at the man. A smile pulled at the corner of your mouth. “ You said you’re leavin’ tomorrow? “
The blonde nodded, his arms now snaked around your hips. He could feel the slight discomfort on you, the taste like metal in his mouth. “Early… Look, I have to go see him this last time. Don’t worry about me. You don’t have to worry about anyone but yourself. “ Rust leaned down to press a short kiss to your lips, something to try and ease you yet it did the opposite.
You hadn’t called him out on his bluff, too afraid to start an argument and end whatever the two of you had. It wasn’t like you were walking on eggshells around worse but it often felt like the man was halfway out the door in life. You feared for the day you could no longer tug him back in.
The two of you ended up tangled with one another in your bed and by the time the sun came up, Rust had already left. The feeling of being lied to grew stronger. Rust had his arms lazily draped around you the entire night, barely pulling you close. You felt like a child, thinking of silly theories to get by. Perhaps his father was truly rotting away in Alaska.
It would be no use to dwell over his absence, sure you missed him but you were also your own person with responsibilities. You spent the first two days working, you picked up extra shifts just to keep yourself occupied. Even after being moved in for a few months, you still hadn’t managed to make any friends. It was a bit depressing, all you had was grump and when he was gone it was like the day you were moved in.
When Wednesday came, you were already sick of the loneliness and what didn’t help is the fact you were cut from your shift early. All your manager gave you was a smile of false sympathy, something about the diner being too crowded for such a slow evening.
As your car came to a halt in your driveway, something caught your eye. Marty Hart making his way to Rust’s front door. Your brows furrowed at the sight, hand pushing open the door to your car. What sort of business would someone like Marty have at the man’s house? “ Hey! “ You called as you stepped over your lawn to Rust’s. “ You do know Rust is out of town right? “ What you knew about Rust and Marty’s relationship led you to find it odd the man was frolicking around his home when he wasn’t there.
Marty seemed to freeze at the sound of your voice, internally cursing at the mere idea of your presence. The last thing he needed was for you to see him around Rust’s. “ Oh hey there, Miss.. uh.. “ His eyes raked you up and down before reading off your name tag. Rust had spoken of you, not descriptively, often he’d say he was going to your place- to call your home phone if there was a lead.
“ I know he’s not here. I’m just keepin an eye on his place, that's all. “ Marty shoved his hands into his pockets with a smile that made you cringe.
Those words made you feel slightly offended and if anything even more suspicious. You lived just next door and Rust hadn’t asked you to do such a thing. A small scoff escaped your mouth, you couldn’t hide the annoyance you felt. “ Right and I live next door yet he trusts you of all people? “ Rust had made it very clear to you, he could tolerate Marty. Tolerate. “ Bullshit. “
The man was clearly not ready for you to hold such a mouth, Rust had forgotten to mention you had no way of keeping your opinions to yourself. Marty quickly held up his hands as if he were surrendering. “ Jesus sweetheart, don’t shoot the messenger. “ He let out a chuckle as he spoke. “ I ain’t got no clue who he trusts and doesn’t trust.. Now if you will excuse me. “ Marty sent a look back to the front door, slowly backing up toward the wood.
Marty pissed you off, the way he slung around the pet name as if he knew you, how he casually disregarded you and walked away. You feared for the way he treated his wife and family, you’d caught sight of the wedding ring on his hand. There wasn’t even a chance for you to spout out a remark. You weren’t even sure what to say. Part of you felt bad for the fact Rust might actually be suffering and there you stood angry he wasn’t letting you housesit.
The interaction with Marty left you in some sort of anger for the next two days, you weren’t sure if it was over Rust’s decision or just pure annoyance for his partner.
You spent the entire day Friday trying to busy yourself until night finally hit.
What seemed to subside your anger was the sight of a familiar red pick up in the driveway next door. It was like an instant relief for you. It wasn’t like you had been lounging around the window watching and waiting. It was your day off so you had responsibilities like laundry and whatever else you could occupy yourself with.
You slipped on your flip flops and headed out of your front door, the worn out screen door letting out a loud creak as it swung shut. The heat immediately hit you even with a tank top on it still felt sweltering outside. One would think that the sun being down would make it cooler but the humidity forced any wind to feel like hell.
Part of you was a tad nervous, you weren’t sure if you should even be knocking on Rust’s door so late. You didn’t let your thoughts catch up to you before you let your fist hit the door.
Rust was an absolute mess. Being undercover had gone bad quickly, a shootout led to him having to use force which led to tons of other things he hadn’t needed. To make matters worse, he was coming down from a high from all the drugs the gang had loaded him up with. Fortunately he was used to things like cocaine but in heavy amounts, of course it would catch up to him.
The man swung open the door, pupils dilated and bloodshot. What he should’ve expected but hadn’t was to see you, the look of surprise was evident on his face. “ Jesus Christ. “ He hissed, eyes peering behind you. Rust had been expecting Marty to come over, not you.
His appearance was enough to make you take a small step backward. He looked further than disheveled. His blonde hair was a complete mess, a leather jacket around his shoulders. Rust looked high, his nose rubbed red to account for that. “ What the hell? “ It was very clear he had not been in Alaska, you could call complete bullshit the second he opened the door.
Instead of answering, the blonde reached out and pulled you into the house by your arm. Fingers that were usually so careful are suddenly harsh on your skin. “ Get inside. “ He huffed, letting you go the moment you were inside and the door was shut.
For a few seconds, nothing was said. You weren’t sure what to say and Rust knew to be quiet. He was already making his way into what you assumed would be the living room.
It then hit you that this was your first time in his house. He’d been very careful not letting you in. Maybe out of fear of pulling you into his world. Files laid strewn about, bullets and a loaded gun sat on the counter that led to the kitchen. The place was barren almost as if someone was squatting there rather than living. A mattress laid with a cross above it. Two lawn chairs that looked old and worn down.
“ Where were you? “ You were the one to finally speak up, trailing behind him. It was almost pitiful how quiet your voice was. You weren’t afraid of him but afraid of what he may have been up to. “ Clearly your dying father was just a lie, you weren’t in Alaska- so where were you? “ The words fell out of your mouth almost nervously. Did you even want to know?
He was quiet for a few moments, hand coming to pinch the bridge of his nose. Rust leaned up against the counter, hands falling to grip the marble. He wasn’t even sure if he was stable enough to have this conversation. The man let out a small huff. “ I was chasin a lead, ‘s all. “ Rust muttered, sparing you a small glanced.
His words made you scoff, you took a few steps forward until you stood in front of him. “ A lead? Rust, you’re high. What kind of fucking lead makes you do whatever it is you’re on! “ You were beyond concerned. Sure, you weren’t a cop but you were certain chasing a lead didn’t mean snorting things or shooting up.
“ It was an undercover deal. “ Rust was trying to keep his cool, he didn’t want to blow up on you of all people. You were one of the only people the man truly trusted. He was sure if he did something stupid, you’d walk away. There were only so many chances he could be given. “ Just need you to trust me on this. “
A loud laugh left your mouth although it was more of a scoff. “ Trust you? My trust has gone out of the window. You lied to me. If you were chasin a lead, all you had to do was tell me. Not only that but you have no good Marty check on your place when I live next door?! “ Your arms flew up in the air to convey your point, all of the anger you had been feeling was suddenly pouring out of you.
The control Rust had seemingly slipped away with each word that came out of your mouth, he pressed his eyes closed to try and hold back but he couldn’t help himself. “ You want to know the truth?! “ The man spat as he pushed off the counter to take a few steps towards you.
The two of you were now chest to chest, heavy breaths filling the silence before he spoke up again. “ I was out chasing a lead for a man who's been murdering girls and leaving them posted up like some sort of spectacle. In order to get the fuckin’ lead, I had to blend in. I don’t even think I have to tell you what I did- you seem pretty keen and set on deciding you know everything! “ His words were full of some kind of anger that had been bottled up inside of him, Rust hadn’t meant to shout at you but it was too late to go back.
His angry tone was enough to make you feel ashamed, eyes moving to his feet. You wanted distance but you could bring yourself to move. Your feet stuck to the wooden panels, eyes glued downward afraid to even look up.
“ We wouldn’t even be arguing like this if you would’ve just been honest with me! “ Suddenly, your arm shot out and pushed the man away. “ I mean, fuck Rust.. you made me feel like I was just a stranger to you! “ You matched his voice level, watching as he stumbled back against the counter.
Though the way he moved made you frown, his face scrunched up almost as if he were in pain. Compared to him, you were weak as a fly so you knew well that you hadn’t been the cause for that. “ What’s the matter with you? “ The anger in you faded as you spoke.
It was like a veil had been lifted away from your eyes. Sure, you had every right to be upset with him for lying but the man looked like a wreck.
You’d been too caught up in your own fit to even check in with Rust. His arm had moved to clutch his side as let out a frustrated grunt. “ Just got a little beat up, that’s all. “ A piece of him wanted to lie once more but it had gotten him nowhere the last time he did such a thing. “ It went wrong, guy shot a few people and I had to clean up the mess. “ His hands went to pull up his wife beater, a blueish purple cascaded down his toned skin.
The sight alone made you feel sick. You knew the dangers of the man being a detective, you knew how dangerous he could be. He hadn’t told you much but sometimes he’d slip up and reveal things about work. People he hurt, the things he did to get intel. “ Rust.. “ You frowned, taking careful steps toward him. Your fingers were gentle as ever against the bruise yet he still flinched. His jaw tightened as you got close, he suddenly felt vulnerable. “ We should get this… cleaned up or something, surely you have some ointment laying around. “
It was a completely different scene. Instead of the two of you at each other's head, Rust was sat in one of the lawns chairs with you opposite him. You were halfway out of the chair, leaning forward to shrug off Rust’s jacket then your hands moved to his shirt. “ It’ll be easier if I just take this off, is that okay? “ You weren’t sure why but your voice was barely above a whisper. This side of Rust had never been revealed to you. Even though he was a man, he still needed taking care of.
Rust didn’t really speak, he only gave you a small nod and a grunt. He was too exhausted to waste his breath on such a small thing. Careful as ever, you peeled off the white fabric and dropped it to the floor. “ I don’t even want to know how this happened. “ You had managed to find ointment in Rust’s bathroom. The man had given you free roam to rummage for something, he knew there would be no point to try and stop you. You smeared it onto the bruise with such a light touch, face scrunching up in focus as you did your best not to hurt him further.
“ You probably don’t. “ He spoke up, his blue eyes on your hands. Rust couldn’t remember the last time he’d been taken care of like this. Maybe before his wife left, when the two could still stand to sleep in a bed next to each other. The feeling was nice, he wanted more of it even if it was difficult to get to the point. He hated being vulnerable or letting others do things for him. “ ‘m sorry I lied to you. I didn’t know what else to do or how to be honest. “ Rust admitted as things grew quiet, he practically forced the words out.
A weak laugh escaped your mouth as you finished painting his bruise with the gel. “ I know. “ The thing was you knew he had a hard time being honest, letting things out into the open. While it was the truth, it didn’t excuse it. “ I know it’s hard for you but being that I like you, I want you to be honest. “ You gave his leg a playful kick.
“ I like you too, wanna be better- good for you. “ His words were small as they came out. Rust listened to you, his lips pulling together as watched you. He felt like a child, needing to be tended to after falling off his bike. The feeling so foreign it was almost forgotten. He wanted you to know he paid attention. If he were to constantly listen to someone, he’d rather it be you than anyone else.
It was hard to admit it to himself but he’d grown to trust you. Your presence had embedded itself into his life and now he felt that you belonged. Like you were supposed to be there.
NOTE: I felt like this ended kind of abruptly.. hope it’s okay! I twisted some of the lore around to make it work. 🤫
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