[faeberrywine]

ID credit: fc110919 on 小红书

(please like, reblog and give proper credit if you use any of my gifs!)

[royalcurls]

Ocean inspired stim toys !!!

[lostmf]

[swirlingyouintomypoems]

Will I always be alone in this house? Reading books that are too hard for me in the long fatherless hours?

let your dad die energy drink - daniel lavery and cecilia corrigan/bob’s burgers, 2011/family line - conan gray/@parentless-suggestions/promises of gold - jose olivarez/unknown/dna - lia marie johnson/i am angry because of my father - halsey/part of me never left that house - mada hayyas/unknown/father - demi lovato/franz kafta/unknown/primer - aaron smith/family line - conan gray/untitled - frank wright

***sorry for all of the unknowns on this one. I really do try to find the sources for everything but I kept coming up empty w these. If you know the sources pls comment/send me an ask or dm and lmk!!

[harmful-tropes]

I have a distinct memory of laying in my bed as a kid and wishing with all my heart that I would get hurt. That I would get into a bad car crash or I'd disappear. So my parents would cry and realize they didn't cherish me enough.

I find it sad that younger me thought she had to get hurt to feel loved.

[lostmf]

By @hel7l7

[ed-recoverry]

To anyone who was suicidal at age 14 or younger, here’s your permission to grieve. Here’s your permission to not joke about it or just flat out ignore it. Here’s your permission to acknowledge that lost child who felt way more pain than any child should ever feel. You’re allowed to cry for that child, whether you healed or are still suffering the same thoughts. Finally allow yourself to grieve for that child filled with undeserved hurt.

[nexus-nebulae]

shoutout to people who don't have a "before" the trauma.

shoutout to people who don't have any sweet or nostalgic childhood memories. to people who don't remember enough of their childhood to know what the before was like. to people who lost their innocence before they ever learned the word for it. to people whose pasts were too painful to keep around in any form. to people who only knew trauma, and don't have an idea of what life would be like without it. to people who can't long for "the better days" because there weren't any.

you deserve a good future. i hope it's there for you soon.

[deeptrospection]

[chronicallyonlinesworld]

[lelif]

grieving the person you used to be

marian keyes// ?// bigger than the whole sky, taylor swift// fiona apple// @inkskinned// would've, could've, should've, taylor swift// father, the front bottoms// @inanotherunivrse// ?// memento mori, crywank// @dakotajohnsongf// @ryebreadgf// quote: deathless, catherynne m. valente edit:? // bojack horseman s6 e16// a pearl, mitski// would've, could've,should've, taylor swift// ?// @fridayiminlovemp3 // ?// @heavensghost

[lostmf]

[leostimstuff]

Watched the eleventh hour today and I’m feeling really normal (lying lying)

🍮 🌟 🪛 | 🍮 🌟 🪛 | 🍮 🌟 🪛

[rattusn0rvegicus]

Okay seriously. Where are my autistic people at who HATE HATE HATE bland food, used to refuse to eat if something DIDN’T have vegetables in it, cannot comprehend for the life of them WHY the HELL other autistic people seem to prefer bland food and white bread and such when the texture of wonderbread makes them want to DIE, and start internally smashing things at the thought of food NOT being marinated, seasoned, spiced to perfection. Where are my autistic people who live for the carmelization on meats/veggies. Who would go over to friends’ houses and say they weren’t hungry when really your friends just couldn’t cook for shit and you’d rather go hungry than put something BLAND into their mouth. Ew. Ew!!!!!

[theadhdgoblin]

[babyspacebatclone]

Neurotypicals: Think Autistic people are exceptionally literal.

Autistics: Describe their experiences using phrases like:

My brain feels like it’s filled with cotton laced with barbed wire, it’s not safe for me to make decisions right now.

I’m entering a Wait Mode until we leave.

Just looking at that rotten food makes my skin feel slimy.

Neurotypicals: Assume the Autistics are using metaphorical language to exaggerate common experiences.

[wuxiaphoenix]

Oh wow, this is accurate.

[wholeheartedsuggestions]

eventually you realize you don’t want to die. you just don’t want to live the life you’re living. and slowly you try to create a life you want to live. just gotta start there.

[wholeheartedsuggestions]

no one needs to add “sounds fake but ok”, “no”, “well, not me”, “impossible”, etc. to this post. and i’d rather you not.

[duckbunny]

one day you think: I want to die.

and then you think, very quietly: actually. actually. I think I want a coffee. a nap. a sandwich. a book.

and I want to die turns day by day into I want to go home, I want to walk in the woods, I want to see my friend, I want to sit in the sun

I want a cleaner kitchen

I want a better job

I want to live somewhere else

I want to live

[zenosanalytic]

The thing to understand is that Depression

Even When It Is Trying to Kill You!

Is Defensive.

Your brain exists to preserve you; it’s just Dumb, and how it goes about “preserving” is determined by evolution’s ‘Good Enough’ meat-and-chemistry mechanisms rather than a firm grasp of biology.

You know how, stuck atop a burning building, ppl will sometimes throw themselves off in a vain hope of surviving? That’s what depression-driven suicide is. You are under THAT amount of stress, often sustained for a FAR longer time. Your brain only understands “Stress”: it doesn’t know causes, it doesn’t know Events, and it only has the one set of instinctive ‘extreme measures’ to fall back on. I made things SO hard on myself for SO Long conceiving of Depression as a Fight I had to Win, rather than a chronic illness in need of my understanding and careful management.

Help your brain. Nurse it. Ask yourself where it hurts and why. Recognize that the desire to die is a symptom, an injury, and not your ‘Truth’. Try to calm it, Try to endure: It WILL Pass. As perverse as it sounds, your desire to die is an expression of how PASSIONATELY you want to get away from the pain tormenting you; of how MUCH you want to LIVE. PLEASE Live!