風の友達

We shall meet again in the hall of our fathers.

[limerentlink]

I HAVE AN ABOUT PAGE NOW!

After realizing that I have really played up the whole enigma thing, I finally wrote an actual factual about-me page that summarizes who I am and how I approach this blog.

You can find the live page here. I recommend reading it there, as there are links and stuff that don’t show up very well on your Tumblr dashboard. If you don’t want to read it on the actual blog, however, the full copy (as it stands right now, lol: the actual copy is subject to change!) is pasted under the cut.

Hi! My name is Alec, and this blog—originally “snowfallingoutside” and now “limerentlink”—has been my so-called corner of the internet for over TEN YEARS!

First thing’s first: I made this blog when I was 14 as a purely “personal blog,” designed for ventposting and the occasional poem. Somehow, amidst my main-hopping throughout the 2010s, this blog remained a constant. I technically abandoned this blog between December 2016 and December 2018 as a kneejerk response to a limerent episode (more on that later), but otherwise, almost every narrative development I’ve ever experienced is laid bare in these hallowed halls. If you want to track every phase, every confession, and every revelation of my life, this is the place to do it.

Of course, I am so far removed from the previous iterations of my so-called self that I barely relate to him anymore. But I like being proximate to him all the same, as said proximity allows me to reflect on—and self-reblog!—memories that would have been lost to time without it. Please respect the fact that not every post from the last eleven years reflects a current belief. With that said, I love dredging up previous character arcs from this blog for my own personal satisfaction, and will always be happy to answer your burning inquiries in case you go digging through the archives and want to learn more about my past.

Now, a little bit about the contemporary me: I’m 25 years old, I’m embarking on an MA in Media Studies, and I’m a total fucking commie. I’m also autistic, if the “aggressively” authentic internet persona and my oftentimes disproportionately grouchy tag-comments aren’t a dead giveaway. (I’m working on it, I promise.)

I also don’t have much in the way of a tagging system, though “reference,” “the best,” and “tao tag” are pretty active. (Maybe I should start now that archival has become so important to me…)

This is where I taper off and transition into an FAQ-style biography, as it’s easier to answer your questions when they’re actually questions. (The best part: Most of these are actual FAQs that I’ve received from real people!)

1) What does “limerent” mean?

Limerence is a mental condition that can be summarized as “obsessive infatuation with, and addiction to, another person.” While limerence is colloquially understood as a form of romantic attraction, it’s actually far more intrusive—and non-consensual—than your typical crush. In fact, limerence causes psychosomatic distress that parallels the cycle of intoxication, withdrawal, and preoccupation/anticipation of substance abuse, but with the attention of a “limerent object” (the person to which you’re ostensibly attracted) as the substance in question.

Limerence is also dangerously understudied: Most literature on limerence is adjacent to pop-psychology. The best breakdown I’ve ever read of limerence comes from

this recent paper

, which provides an incredibly digestible analysis of limerence’s symptoms and long-term effects.

You could describe me as a “chronic limerent” in the sense that I’ve gone through 4-5 limerent phases in my life, none of which were willing. My most damaging episodes were 2016 and 19, the former of which contributed to my abandonment of this blog towards the end of that year. I have plenty of thoughts on each experience, but I tend to leave them for vagueposts and stuff. You can check each year’s respective archives for in-the-moment reflections if you’re curious; I’m sure my feelings on each period have changed drastically since, though.

2) What are your hobbies?

I play Magic: the Gathering, read critical theory, listen to music (I have an active, if super disorganized,

Last.fm

), and I’ve technically played FFXIV since Heavensward. (You can check out when I first started back in

June 2015!

I posted about it non-stop!) I also DJ in my bedroom, on Datafruits.FM, and at hobby conventions across the country: Check out my SoundCloud

here!

3) Didn’t you/don’t you also do activist stuff?

Yes! I try to be light in my posts about it, however, as I don't need to attract any more attention than I've already received. (To dispel any ominous undertones: I’d been particularly active in my hometown community for a few years, especially throughout 2020, but I’ve taken a back seat due to burnout, the death of virtual city hall meetings, and getting a job and stuff.) I’m still happy to talk shop about organizing, though!

4) What do you study?

Media! And I’ve come to the conclusion that I hate it. Thank you for coming to my about page!

In all seriousness, I’m invested in critiquing how the internet and digital media properties reshape our perceptions of the singular self—and the singular body. Digital objects and cultures give us a whole host (literally!) of “bodies,” such as platforms, avatars, and textual manifestations of self, that allow us to experience multiplicativity and interrogate the fabric of our singular social reality. As just a shortlist of examples of different “bodies" that I've examined, I’ve written and spoken about

Night in the Woods

(2017), Porter Robinson's 

Virtual Self

project, aegosexuality, F-List, furry culture at large, and more. Relatedly, you can read my breakout DogPatch Press piece “Dysfurria: A Manifesto”

here,

though do be warned that a substantial revision/response article is forthcoming as of 2023.

5) Are you a furry?

Please read

“Dysfurria.”

6) Okay, what can I actually expect to show up on your blog?

I reblog stuff that makes me laugh, stuff that makes me think, and stuff that makes me feel. I’m also no stranger to personal posts, as it’s in this blog’s DNA. Other than that, you’re just gonna have to come along for the ride!

7) I think you’re interesting, but that might just be the version of you that exists in my head. Can we be friends so I can figure it out?

Yes! I’m always down to clown, and if another platform (such as Discord) is more accessible for you, let’s link up there!

8) Should we all love Lain?

Always and forever.

[wifehaver103947]

Awhoahh idid not know this

[wifehaver103947]

[iamwizzzzz]

[ewaneneollav]

a child who is persistently alone & does not want to be alone does not learn that they on occasion have time to themselves during which they can do whatever they want, they learn that occasionally they will have time to themselves throughout which they will do nothing except exactly what they do not want to do - something that is synonymous with that duration of time. if they were being made to do some or other unpleasant thing, like hold their hand on a hot stove, that would not be synonymous with the duration of time, it would be something occupying that duration of time. when they are made ito be alone, the fact that they are alive & conscious is felt as a profound lack rather than the fundamental opportunity atop which all other opportunities are built, & the passage of time becomes something to be endured because it continually implies their continued existence & awareness. life for them then becomes organized not around exploration nor seeking enjoyment or fulfillment, but around strategies for continually enduring the fact that they exist

[shesburger]

[kittyit]

if you start reading books again. you will feel at least a little better. I promise

[eebie]

I just ate one

[eebie]

You can lie when you name things

[limerentlink]

i play overwatch with the sound off btw

[limerentlink]

6/17/2016

[amandaknox]

[limerentlink]

bringing this back

[cashmereink]

✨ LiFE FUCk IS yOUr Short FREiNDS ✨

[limerentlink]

final draft of the letter i'll send to you when you're ready to receive it

[kyleehenke]

these are basically turning into my video diaries

[hellsitegenetics]

happy 4th to her

[sunburnt-brian]

[fallingbackintopiecesagain-blog]

i’m getting really tired of how predictable my life is. i really saw all of this coming, you know. like… all of this. pretty much every single thing that has happened in the last 2 months has been predictable. i just kind of… didn’t want to think about it happening. at all. i didn’t /want/ it to happen. i didn’t want to love him like that. i didn’t want to have this table become more than just a place to pull up chairs. i wanted to transfer, i wanted to leave behind, i wanted to run but not run away. there are differences here, nuances that i’ll never experience. 

and i should’ve had the foresight to know that i’d make this post four weeks later.

[limerentlink]

no one can say i wasn't right about everything

7/14/2016

[fallingbackintopiecesagain-blog]

i just want to hear Locus again

[limerentlink]

7/13/2016

[charl0ttan]

[limerentlink]

sorry for going through my suicide blog from 10 years ago. it will happen again. maybe not, actually. but it does happen sometimes. when i feel this way; when i feel unable to escape the prisons of my own making. or whatever.

I wish I could have held him and told him that everything would be okay in the end.

but I don't know that for sure myself.