Sit with this. #whatsyourtrigger . . #Repost @themylesscott (@get_repost) ・・・ Why do we get triggered? Read slowly. Triggers are communicating to us when we feel unsafe and dysregulated. More specifically, and especially in relationships, they’re communicating to us when we have interpreted something in a way that affirms a shame based belief we have about ourselves, which causes our defense mechanisms to flare up. The more our nervous system is dysregulated, and the deeper our identity is rooted in shame, then we’ll get triggered more frequently, more intensely, and for a longer duration. There are two opposing identities living inside us. One is shame based, and one tries to counter that shame using pride. The shame based identity is generally caused in childhood when, if we felt bad, we made it mean we ARE bad. As a kid, and even younger, we’re in such a vulnerable, malleable state. Even our brain wave state is in Delta and Theta wave states meaning we are basically downloading everything into our subconscious minds and developing core beliefs about ourselves. Over time, we try to fight this shame using pride by developing patterns and personas that help us earn love and acceptance, seeking validation and even addictions outside of ourselves to fill the void left by the shame based identity. However, the more we focus on the pride based identity, the more wounded and prominent the shame based identity becomes. The shame based identity is also a filter, or lens, through which we perceive the world. Our external reality mirrors our internal reality. Studying confirmation bias will tell you that we are unconsciously scanning our environments in ways that mirror our belief systems. So if deep down we believe we are unworthy of love or there’s something wrong with us, etc., we’ll interpret situations, even if we’re wrong, in ways that both threaten our pride based identity and affirm the shame based identity. So triggers then, are what happens when our confirmation bias finds something threatening, because the greatest pain we feel is when we think we find evidence that our most wounded, feared beliefs about ourselves are true (they’re not true though). https://www.instagram.com/p/CCu22ZshHB4/?igshid=1wo9fei1j0zjd
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