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KIROKAZE
occasionally subtle
almost home
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
Origami Around
izzy's playlists!
pixel skylines
Three Goblin Art
祝日 / Permanent Vacation
Keni
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
taylor price
will byers stan first human second
Cosimo Galluzzi
Discoholic 🪩
DEAR READER
we're not kids anymore.
RMH
wallacepolsom
seen from United States
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seen from Saudi Arabia
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seen from Argentina
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@linkmilne
TEXT 📚 LALINK
Laine: Why would I do that? Puns are a high form of literature! And they're also like....hilarious, so I would never lol.
Link: Okay, THANK YOU. I don't know why people act like puns are for dads and for people who still have braces at age 30, they're fun for all!
elodiesmee:
Elodie had really been hoping her date would not see her acting a fool in front of what felt like half the population of Walt, but luck had never in her favor and there he was witnessing the whole thing. “You might be one of the only people to think that ‘mess’ isn’t fitting. Clearly we don’t know each other well enough yet.” She rocked back on her heels awkwardly, not knowing whether she should even be trying to cover up her mostly bare legs or if this was just a look she was going to rock for the rest of the snowed in night. She was about to suggest she just go hide in a bathroom stall when Link offered up his jacket. “Oh, yeah! If you don’t mind? Otherwise I might have to go cut up a curtain or something and I can’t get kicked out so I’d probably just be publicly shamed.”
“I definitely don’t mind,” Link laughed, passing the suit jacket over to her with zero hesitation. He still kept his eyes averted, figuring the nice thing to do was let Elodie make whatever adjustments she wanted in relative solitude. “I mean, there’s not a date handbook or anything -- not that I tried to find one before tonight to read or anything -- but if there were I’m pretty sure offering your date your jacket, no matter why they might need it, would be on the checklist of how to not suck.” He shrugged, finally looking back to meet Elodie’s eyes, smiling warmly at her to let her know that he wasn’t phased by all of her... whatever was going on with her. “Although if you have any pointers on how to get to the next level up from ‘not sucking’ I’m all ears. We can still have an awesome night, ruined dress and all.”
elodiesmee:
“No, no, no!” Elodie mumbled angrily, trying to catch the seam of her dress that was quickly coming apart. “This is what I get for trying to splurge on something nice! I should’ve just asked to borrow one of Ocean’s! UGH!” She continued on ranting to herself, chasing her dress around in a circle as the skirt literally fell apart right in front of her. “I’m finally matched with someone cute and nice and who hasn’t left me to go have sex in a bathroom and I look like a mess!” She finally caught the string and tried to rip it with her teeth so it wouldn’t spread anymore, but ended up ripping it further and the entire lower half of her dress swung off, landing a few feet away from her on the ground. She’d be totally embarrassed if she wasn’t wearing spandex underneath and for the fact that Smees have no shame, but it didn’t stop tears from welling up in her eyes out of frustration. “Yeah, yeah! I lost my skirt! Take a picture it’ll last longer!” She snapped at those around her who had turned to stare at her unfortunate mishap.
Link felt like he hadn’t seen his date in a while, and he was starting to get a little bit concerned. His first instinct wasn’t even to assume that he wasn’t exciting enough to be her date, or that she might have ditched him for someone else; instead, he just hoped she hadn’t fallen into a toilet somewhere or accidentally gotten stabbed with a high heel. When he finally did find her, it took all he had not to chuckle. “You look beautiful, Elodie,” he told her, trying to interrupt her rant. “Maybe a little frazzled, but ‘mess’ isn’t the word I’d pick for you.” Although as he watched her in her worked up state, he supposed he could see where she got that word from. The rest of her dress went flying, and he politely averted his eyes, not wanting to embarrass her by gawking at whatever was underneath. “Do you want my jacket? You could tie it around your waist and use it as a makeshift skirt. Or just wear it as a dress; we could probably find you a belt or one of cupid’s ropes or something to tie it together.”
TEXT 📚 LALINK
Laine: ba dum tss....that WAS a pun, right?
Link: As long as you promise not to put me on blast as a pun-lover, then yes, yes it was :-p
YOU TWO HAD 80% COMPATIBILITY
@linkmilne, you’ll be meeting your match at 8:00 pm sharp in the garden. She will be wearing laurel green, and will be the girl with the compass hanging around her neck. Have a lovely time!
@elodiesmee, you’ll be meeting your match at 8:00 pm sharp in the garden. He will be wearing grey and will be the guy with the Tolkien quote necktie. Have a lovely time!
TEXT 📚 LALINK
Laine: ha! "Do you know the muffin man?" "Yes, I stole from him".
Link: Only in Walt could there be a muffin murder most foul. I wonder who would follow the crumbs to solve the case.
TEXT | YOUNGER MILNES
Dolly: omg what even is a GOON. Like, a gargoyle??? Oh GOD dare I ask what Goodnight Boobs says goodnight to in a cutesy manner?
Link: You know, I was thinking of the context 'a fool' but had hoped there was some other definition I could find that was a little monster, along the line of goonies... but the most common definition these days is a low-ranking thug. Back to the drawing board! LOL I think you can guess, although I almost want to buy the book to find out if there are shoutouts to other body parts.
Would you rather plot a scheme to break up Teddy and Annie or Dolly and Dawn?
@dollymilne and @dawndupont. No offense to their relationship intended; it just seems like a cleaner, easier objective since they’re not married.
I Need Entertainment
WYR burn a book or break a heart?
Burning books is a crime, right! Hearts can heal but you can’t put a book back together from the ashes.
I Need Entertainment
TEXT | YOUNGER MILNES
Dolly: Goodnight Moon :') I'm sure there's gotta be some weird goth baby books out there, right? Like 10 Little Gravestones or If You Give a Vampire Bat a Cookie or something?
Link: The closest I could find so far is a Goodnight Moon parody called Goodnight GOON. Although there are some other hilarious ones on here, I sort of want to collect every Goodnight Moon parody for them now. Except Goodnight Boobs. That one can be just for Annie and Teddy.
TEXT 📚 LALINK
Laine: They're usually kinda dark, with like...bodies of water behind the title font, actually. That actually sounds fun. Knock some muffins out of the way and replace them with Gillian Flynn novels haha.
Link: The muffins don't need to be exposed to the open air like that anyway, they're much safer from muffin thieves and staleness behind the counter. Can you imagine a muffin robbery in Walt? Actually, I'm surprised that wasn't a Shrek plot.
As the only single Milne now, I hope you find someone this year so we can triple-date! And so mum and dad will get off my back about /my/ boyfriend. :)
ANONYMOUSLY MESSAGE ME ANYTHING YOU WANT TO TELL ME BEFORE 2018 ENDS.
TEXT ☕️ LINKALIE
Rosalie: Oh my--! Are you hurt? You have the wrong number, but are you alright?
Link: OH. Can I pretend I got it in my eye so that this is less embarrassing? Because other than the embarrassing thing, I'm fine!
Link: I'm so sorry, Rosalie! I didn't mean to interrupt your day with latte woes.
TEXT | YOUNGER MILNES
Dolly: Last-minute Christmas idea for Teddy: a bunch of cute little goth baby clothes to hint that we want nieces and nephews already.
Dolly: Sounds like a good idea, right?
Link: I've been collecting baby books for them for MONTHS. If you give them clothes, I'll give them Goodnight Moon. And all the weird modern day companions to it. And also The Very Hungry Caterpillar.
Text 😬 Tenk
Teddy: BRO. I got mom and dad some hamsters for christmas because I figured they should have something to care for while we're all still away and I CAN'T FIND THEM. HELP! 🚨🚨🚨🚨
Link: So they were living hamsters and not toy ones? Oh jeez. Where did you see them last?
TEXT 📚 LALINK
Laine: Oh. Well, I like a lot of mystery thriller books, I guess. Things that you would expect to turn into an HBO mini series.
Link: LOL I can't guess what those are just by their covers! We should start doing barista book recommendations in the cafe so I can have them within arms reach on a display during slow periods :-p
Send ● for a text that wasn’t meant for you.
text not meant for @enchantingrosalie !!
Text Message Memes ❤ ☁ ♔ ● ♬
