I am certain I will find it very difficult to find anything more delusional than a hymn for the dead. I know I can be certain of this because I have traveled more than the majority of the universe that is within our reaches and I have even been beyond - to places we are not supposed to dwell. Places that aren’t even supposed to exist. Through these travels I can indefinitely tell you three things that are more certain than the number of millennia I have watched pass with my own eyes because, over time, I may have lost count of those.
First: nothing is nonexistent. If you think it’s impossible it is very much probable. If you think it shouldn’t ever be, it already is. If you cannot comprehend a paradox that loops through your mind like a planet that revolves around its sun, be sure that it’s laws and physics are concrete in their own ways.
We will never fully understand this existence; life, death and all the ripples of law and chaos that surround these concepts at all times. We cannot and if you try to it will surely drive you mad. This also is something I have witnessed multiple times. It nearly consumed my mind as well, but perhaps, when you get to a point where you’ve outlived everyone that’s lived it is an inevitable phase that a weary and tired soul goes through.
Second I can tell you there is nothing cherish-able in a memory. Holding onto a picture or an idea or a vivid detailed fact about something or someone you love will only end up disappointing you. You know your friend and the way they look, they act, they laugh, they cry, they hate; the way they love. You know what your home looks like. You know the sky lines, the mountains, the lakes, the breezes that carried you over vast valleys for the first time; you know the smell of the cities and the absolute silence of the stars above you and the deafening roar of life under your feet. It was just yesterday that you were there and they were next you. It was mere hours ago, it was a fleeting second. A memory.
Then, you turn and nothing is like it should be. There are no cities and the mountains have all crumbled to dust. The silence of space is louder than the wailing of loss in your mind and no one is standing next to you. There is blood on your hands and nothing is what it should be because a memory is a lie of how things were and not how things are or ever will continue to stay.
A memory is absolute and nothing in this universe is really that.
Finally, I can tell you the most astonishing thing I have discovered: everything will surprise you.
The first time you see something so magnificent your mind couldn’t comprehend that it wasn’t dreaming. The first time you take comfort in a touch and the first time you know what it’s like to be truly alone.
The absolute and total unfathomable pain that comes from loss and the utter hopeless you believe you can never escape from. Then, the realization that you are still standing afterwards.
When you discover how pathetic, short, and unimportant life is and the childlike awe you have when someone proves that everything you’ve come to believe over the ages was all wrong.
That one day you will disappear from existence and maybe someone will sing you a requiem, but you won’t hear it and that, that is okay because you don’t need to hear it. You don’t need memories or laws or physics or silly song to those whose remains have long since gathered amongst the stars. Surprise will come when you realize you are no longer looking for death and that death has long since passed you by.
When you know, know, the only thing you need is for a small, forgotten hand, to take your own in the middle of a fire and show you how beautiful the flames are as you burn together.
janainaart
titsay
yousharknotpass
pixelskylines
germansingergirl
ellievsbear
snowghoul
discoholicmusic
jbbartram-illu
andulkaphoto
