Jean Kirstein

Don't go where I cannot follow.

[lionheartedkirstein]

blondescout:

                              once the wind passed, along with body heat for another, she felt fine. she wasn’t willing to give up on the moment, or go back to reality. ( not yet, please not yet. ) “ you never know. it would be a whole other life. you never know what type of person you would be, who you would meet.” she just smiled at the comment about meeting her anyway. she wasn’t so sure, but she didn’t want to crush his hopes or thoughts that no matter what they would of ended up together. “well when you need quite, you can come to my room. when i want loud i can come to yours.”

Jean tugged Renae in a bit closer not wanting her to get cold, also just to hold her close. “True.... hope I wouldn’t end up some arrogant asshole or something.” He realized he wasn’t exactly that... pleasant to be around when trying to become a solider. Who knows how he would have ended up if he didn’t experience the same things. Hopefully a better person...? “But uh... I am sure we’d met somewhere.” He nuzzled her cheek gently with his own with a soft sigh. How he wished they could stay this way forever. “Sounds like a good idea, and thanks.” He chuckled lowly, kissing her cheek gently.

[lionheartedkirstein]

blondescout:

                          renae was happy around him, pressing herself closer when a chilly wind blew through. “i’m sure you would do a lot with you’re life. you have your mom. she would make sure you would have a great life. you would be the most wanted guy i’m sure, girls would be all over you.” but, he would of never met her. not in a million years. maybe she would still be locked underground, maybe she would be dead. she wanted to tell him that he was full of shit again, that renae wasn’t good at anything but fighting. she had no skills, nothing going for her. he must know that deep down right? that she was nothing but a fighter. “that’s true, but i’m sure yours is a lot less lonely.”

Jean squeezed her slightly again when he felt her shiver, maybe they should move inside then? He could give her his coat so they can stay outside a little longer, hmm... “Maybe... annnd I doubt that.” He’d like to think it would be true, the whole being the most wanted for girls. Just he knew that wouldn’t be the case. “Sure we’d meet somewhere though.” It was a gut feeling he had, he didn’t quite want to call it fate. That sounded corny, but it was definitely something. “Sort of..? Sometimes I want to be left alone. Just doesn’t happen... it is kinda nice though, can always come over to my room if you want too. You invited me to yours after all”

[lionheartedkirstein]

blondescout:

                      renae rested her cheek against his chest, letting her finger trace over the coarse material. a world where they didn’t have to fight? where they could be like this all the time? it should feel like the best dream in the world, like something she would want more then anything. and she did, yet something felt off too. she was quite for a moment before finally speaking. “i don’t know who i would be if i wasn’t fighting.” would she be anyone? would she be able to be normal? she didn’t think she could. “mm yeah we could. you can come to my room anytime.”

Jean nudges Renae gently with his nose, letting out a soft sigh. How he wished they could just spend all their afternoons like this, if only... “You know... I’m not overly sure who I’d be if I wasn’t fighting either... hopefully not boring.” He moves his head back so he could gently move her face with his hand so they were looking at one another. “I know you would still be amazing at whatever you do.” He flushed slightly at her words. “T-Thanks uh, I’d offer the same but it isn’t quite as... um, secluded as yours.”

[lionheartedkirstein]

blondescout:

                             “yeah, i’m happy to be with you too.” in more then one way. she was happy to be with him now, and in general. renae knew they didn’t have a chance to be like this often, unsure how to act around their fellow scouts. “it’s nice to have a moment with you before we have to go back to the real world tomorrow.” tonight though, they would have time to pretend their wasn’t a chance that one of them wouldn’t make it through tomorrow, that it could be their last day together. that could be said of anyone though, that was how the world worked.

“Happy to hear.” Jean beamed, nuzzling his face a bit more into her hair. It was so soft and always smelled like the wind to him, must be from always whipping around in the air in their gear? Though... he didn’t think he smelled like that, hopefully he didn’t smell bad. “Part of me wishes we didn’t, but at the same time I know we do it to protect everyone.” He squeezed her a bit tighter in his arms, he would feel so bad if something happened to her. “Glad the weather is cooperating too, though if it wasn’t we could go to your room?”

[lionheartedkirstein]

blondescout:

                         renae let her eyes close as she enjoyed his closeness and contact. it was something a solider didn’t have as part of their life, yet somehow she had found it with him. a little piece of heaven in the middle of war. ( how had she lived this long without being touched by someone who loves her? )  a smile is given, resting against him. “practice makes perfect don’t you know that?.”

Jean couldn't stop himself from smiling if he tried, Renae was being so cute. She also looked so peaceful in his arms, finally able to fully relax it seems. He was proud he was able to make her feel safe enough to relax. “This is very true” He let out a soft chuckle, nuzzling his face into her hair gently. “Mm... this is really nice, being here alone with you on this Valentines day.”

[lionheartedkirstein]

blondescout:

                          his hands were rough, yet gentle. any solider would have rough hands from all the work and fighting. hers were the same way. she didn’t mind though and she had a feeling he didn’t either. the kiss was of course good, it felt like she was on fire. renae couldn’t breathe, but she didn’t mind. she was almost disappointed when it was over and she had to breathe again. renae smiled at him, rubbing her nose against his. “some kiss indeed.” she pressed her lips to his once more in a hit but quite kiss. “ we should have more like that.”

Jean smiled down softly at Renae as they caught their breath from the longer than usual kiss. Ones he would very much love to have more of. He chuckled lowly as she rubbed her nose against his own, so he did the same back to her cute little nose. “Mmm.... we should indeed.” He squeezed her gently around her middle. “Hopefully my kissing will continue to improve” He half teased, he knew for a fact he wasn’t very good and would only get better with... well, practice?

[lionheartedkirstein]

blondescout:

                         he didn’t give himself enough credit. though she could not read his thoughts, she knew he was always thinking about how he was new to this. he must always be wondering if he’s any good at what he’s doing… he was. she could tell him that, but it seemed like it was more fun to show him. she felt his chuckle against her lips, making her smile into the kiss. their was something nice, about smiling while kissing. about being so happy to be near someone. it was a thing that she never had, and was afraid she never would. her body was slowly pulled into his lap, making her only smile more as she tilted her head to the side to deepen the kiss. they were so close, she never wanted it to stop. the moment they parted, she was afraid that she would feel cold again. incompletely. like the real world would swallow her whole.

Slowly he moved his arm around her waist once she was sitting on his lap, he kept his hand on her cheek to hold it gently. He just wanted to touch her skin to skin, sure they were already kissing, but he still wanted some physical contact too. Jean continued to smile into the kiss as he felt Renae smile back against his lips, good she is enjoying herself. Probably also means he isn’t that bad of a kisser. He didn’t know how long they had been kissing for, just the fact his lungs were burning as they needed air. He broke the kiss resting his forehead against hers. “S-Some.... k-kiss.” 

[lionheartedkirstein]

blondescout:

                         she could of stopped the kiss to speak   —  –   but she didn’t want to yet. renae wanted to enjoy another moment of the heated kiss, one that made her body feel warm. ( more then warm, on fire. ) it was nice to be asked, but when you really love someone it was something nice to be kissed. renae was always in control of her life recently, almost to much so. it would be nice to let go, let go for him. she finally stopped the kiss, trying to catch her breath as her forehead rested against his own. “you sure your not pure? your gonna have to prove it to me.” then she kissed him again,

He didn’t realize his hand moved from her hair to her cheek, holding her face gently as his thumb started to caress her cheek. Also moving her head ever so slightly to deepen the kiss further. This was something to get used too, not that he was complaining! It was a nice new experience, one he never thought he would. Hopefully his kiss wasn’t that bad... “Mmmm?” He half mumbled as he caught his own breath after she broke their heated kiss. “Prove wha-” This time he was silenced mid sentence. This made made him chuckle lowly and shift to slowly tug her onto his lap as he kissed her back deeply.

[lionheartedkirstein]

blondescout:

                          renae could see the gears turning in his head. he was overthinking things   —  –   again. he was always thinking to think before doing something when it came to her. she thought it was cute, but she also wished he wouldn’t be so scared when it came to her. “you are so pure.” she smiled, letting out a soft laugh. “if you want something, take it. that’s what i do.” and she did indeed do it. she kissed him, not soft like he always did. it had a bit more heat to it then usual. but, it was a day of love wasn’t it?

“Pure...? What?” Jean blinked at her confused, how the hell was he pure? He wasn’t exactly innocent, maybe to uh... romance stuff, but he wasn’t pure in the slightest. “Well... I suppose... but isn’t asking before taking sometime nice too?” He must have been looking at her a certain way making her realize he was debating on kissing her. Hopefully he didn’t have a goofy look on his face. He was going to say something, but the words died instantly in his mouth when she kissed him. It surprised him for a mere second as it wasn’t quite as soft as before. He hoped he was kissing her back with the same amount of pressure she was.

[lionheartedkirstein]

blondescout:

                         “stubborn, yeah. i guess i am that.”    — –    renae was most definately stubborn, she proved that more and more everyday. but to change now, that would be pointless. she was who she was, and he seemed to like her anyway. another smile was given, “you are for sure full of shit, no doubt about it. but… i don’t mind, because it’s part of who you are.” a hand rose up, brushing a flower pedal from his cheek. her finger tips rested their for a moment longer before tracing down his cheek and over his lips. “and i love who you are.”

“Stubborn isn’t always a bad thing. To me it shows just how much you refused to be pushed around.” Also not giving up when a lot of people would have in her situation. “I will continue to tell you I’m not, but believe whatever you want” He chuckled, looking down at her curiously when a petal moved against his cheek. Soon down to his lips making him shiver ever so slightly, it tickled a bit. “Mmm good, that is the answer I was hoping to hear.” Should he kiss her now...? It felt like a good time to do so.

[lionheartedkirstein]

blondescout:

                           “ mm no, i wasn’t. we kept each other strong i think.” being alone would of made it harder, maybe she wouldn’t of even made it. “ i think i’m alive because of the men and woman there.those older and younger that made me feel like i could live even when i felt like dying.” it was nice that he always thought the best of her, even when she couldn’t. but room wise, she was indeed messy. “oh no no, it’s quite a mess. but i can clean it before you get there, so we can pretend i’m neat.” renae squeezed his hand, “you’re full of shit because you just are. you’re full of shit because i’m not some beauty. i’m a weapon more then anything.”

“I think so, you weren’t totally alone...?” For the most part anyway, least they could give each other comfort and support especially if.... if it gotten really bad with some asshole noble. “Along with being pretty damn stubborn.” He chuckled, he meant every word as she was. “You refused then, and still refuse now to go down easily.” He admired that about her, maybe some of that will rub off on him? “Whatever you say.” He shook his head with a small smirk on his lips. “I don’t think I’m full of shit and you are so beautiful” He wrinkled his nose slightly before squeezing her hand and bringing it up to his lips to kiss her knuckles gently. “You are you first before any of this ‘just a weapon’ talk... and you are a beautiful person.” God, that came out way too sappy... what happened to him? Being around her makes his brain turn to moosh, was it because he cared about her so much?.

[blackberry-angel-deactivated201]

24 -- w/Lionheartedkirstein

[lionheartedkirstein]

decorxtiveocean:

Armin sighed. “It’s a common story, both in fiction and in life–a rich schmuck is a jerk and the people around him want him dead so they can take his money.” He chuckled. “But then they become the rich schmuck and the cycle begins again.”

He buckled up before Jean started to move the car. “Let’s drop the samples off to the team.” He gave a nod. “Yeah, we should bring ‘em food too. These boys work hard as us.”

“Tch... suppose... or the guy could’ve been really nice and they still murdered him for his money.” Jean would need to look into just what kind of a man the poor guy was. “Soooo meaning someone would come kill them next?” He chuckled back, glancing over at Armin a moment.

“What should we get them? Uuuh... should we ask them first before we grab a bunch of coffees and snacks? Maybe get them some sandwiches who knows how long they’ve been working without a proper meal.” He sometimes did that too while out on a job and forgetting to eat. Or so close to solving something he is so focused on that than his own well being.

[lionheartedkirstein]

verratenduo:

Eren closed his eyes smiling at the hair ruffle. It was one of very few things that really seemed to always calm him, even as a young boy. His hair was a weak point, playing with it or ruffling it had always calmed the fire that burned inside his heart as he marched forward, even if only for a moment. “Oh yes, I definitely got in trouble. I have always been a fighter, and that is not what society seems to like. Oh well, onward I march, until my enemies have been crushed.” Eren was blunt here. If freedom meant risking his life, so be it. Moving forward, that was all he could really do. Keep fighting until his fight was truly done. “My anger comes from good reasons usually, at least I try to make sure it does. Such as people hurting my friends….what happened to my mom…though you have a unique ability to get on my nerves.” His eyes then widened when he processed what Jean said about animals not liking him. “Animals? Not liking you? No way. Surely there has to be something. Dogs love everyone, and I have a feeling you’dd be a guy cats can get along with. There is just no way animals can’t like you. Their job is to love everyone.” He was still sort of shocked to hear it.

“Yeah, being reckless can be a disadvantage. Though I am not sure on how much thinking really helps on the battle field, I mean Erwin seems to come up with improvisations on the fly, an Armin’s plans usually involve him staying off the battle field, so maybe we don’t know it.”

Eren chuckled. “Trust me, Armin at least sees you as a friend, maybe a good one. Mikasa…it’s hard to earn her friendship, ask anyone who knows her. However, if it is any console, she respects you as a soldier. That is what matters for now right?” He tried to be optimistic. The eyes on Jean told a story, one that Eren couldn’t quite make out, but it happened every time Jean said his sister’s name. Eren laughed and returned the playful punch Jean had given him for some reason. “Perhaps we just finally caught each other at a good time, and in the right circumstances.” That of course seemed to be the only reasonable explanation for them to be so civil in this conversation as compared to their other conversations dating back to when they first met in training. Eren sighed. “I know I shouldn’t blame myself, but it’s hard not to when I see them die over and over again in my dreams. Sometimes, even though this isn’t what happened, I hear them screaming my name, their fearless squad leader, crying out in vein for me to save them.” Wiping the tears that formed just remembering those nightmares, the soldier’s voice continued. “Yeah, it isn’t right. My mom, she deserved better. She deserved to live to see freedom…but she didn’t get the chance….Sorry, I am getting sentimental.”

Jean couldn’t help but notice how Eren reacted to the hair ruffle, least it meant he didn’t hate it. Seemed to enjoy it quite a lot actually, must remind him of when his Mom did this? Could also just like the feeling as well, it is calming from what he can remember. It’s been ages since anyone has done that to him. Least in a comforting way and not ruffling it to mess it up. “Being a fighter isn’t all bad, means your strong and determined. Maybe a bit too determined.” He half teased. “Oh I know for a fact it usually does, if anyone tries to hurt someone you really care about you basically go into a blind rage.” Which leads to him transforming and killing everything in his path. “Er.... whoops?” He smiled sheepishly as Eren mentioned he got on his nerves. “Well, you kinda get on mine, so even?” He was surprised they were even talking for this long without wanting to punch each other. Huh... progress, maybe? “Not really... my horse sometimes doesn’t like me. Cats and Dogs are iffy at best. Dogs do tend to like me faster than cats if I stay still and let them come to me.” He loved petting dogs! About the only animal that really warms up to him.

“Yeah, I like to have a plan before I do anything. I’m not quite as good as coming up with them on the fly like Erwin and even Armin for that matter.” Those two were amazing at what they do, he doubted he could even come close to them. 

“He does, really??” Jean perked up, a small goofy grin appearing on his face. Oh good! Armin does see him as a friend as well, now Mikasa... she is definitely hard to read. “Hey, I’ll take that over her thinking I’m dirt. I know she is an amazing solider and I’m in awe at how easily she does anything with minimal effort.” Least it looked like it was that way to him. “I’d like to think that.” He laughed back, giving Eren a smile. It was really nice how they were having a normal conversation like this, no fighting or anything. Was really, really nice. Maybe Eren isn’t all that bad after all. “Mmm... trust me, I do too. Though, one I’m not sure what happened exactly and just... imagine it over and over.” He glanced down at the ground, clenching a fist. He heard a small crack in Eren’s voice as he spoke, making him look at the smaller boy beside him. “... I know if you could go back to that moment in time, you’d say every last one of them. I know I would, also know they wouldn’t want you blaming yourself.” He liked to think that was the case anyway. “Hey, its okay we all get sentimental sometimes.” He smiled softly, giving Eren another gentle hair ruffle.

[lionheartedkirstein]

blondescout:

                         he got that laugh that he wanted, a soft one but a laugh none the less. “ i had some help. a woman in my cell taught me a lot of things, and after she was gone and replaced… i taught the new girl all the same things.” renae just wished she could of saved them both, and everyone else she lived with in that awful place. “you would be surprised about the whole room thing.” she was less neat them some would think, mostly because she was never in the room. that came with overworking herself though. but they wouldn’t have to worry about someone coming in, she didn’t really have as many friends as he did. “ i can clean it though. “ another laugh was given, her hand moving to rest on top of his. “you’re full of shit.”

Jean grinned as she laughed, it was a small one but still counted. “Glad you weren’t totally alone...” He bit his lip slightly as he knew the girls weren’t in exactly in the best living condition. Or living a life anyone should be. “I bet both enjoyed teaching and learning from you.” He moved his other hand, that wasn’t in her hair, to one of her hands to hold. “I doubt that.” Jean chuckled lowly, he couldn’t picture her room a mess. “If you need help just ask and I will.” He beamed as she let out a louder more genuine laugh. “How am I full of shit?”

[lionheartedkirstein]

blondescout:

                            “   found it may not be the right term.” she said, watching him move in closer to her. she didn’t mind the closeness. though it was getting nicer outside, the air still had a slightly nip to it. his presence just made her feel warmer. “ i stole it from a noble and hid it in my cell. i learned to read using them.” a breath was taken, it would be nicer for them to read it together. plus, it was an excuse to spend more time just the two of them. alone they were able to act anyway they wanted, but around everyone else they didn’t know how. like they were keeping their feelings a secret from them and each other. “ mm, yeah. you can come to my room anytime and read it.”  renae closed her eyes as his forehead rested against her own. like two pieces of a puzzle coming together when they touched. how did they fight so close to each other all this time but never feel this pull? “i’m not sure they suit me. i don’t do them justice.”

“I say finders keepers.” He chuckled lowly, never taking his eyes off of her. Doubtful she would find it funny, but he might get a small chuckle out of her. “Really? I can’t imagine teaching yourself all on your own...” A small tug at his heart was felt as his parents had taught him how to read. Maybe if her parents lived they would have taught her...? “I’d really like that, sure your room is much cleaner than mine” he half teased, his room actually wasn’t that bad. Not like he had much anyway. Plus he wouldn’t have to worry as much going to her room and someone coming in, she was in a bit more secluded area than most. “I think they suit you perfectly, I wouldn’t do them justice.” He sighed softly, taking in her scent. She always had this sort of wild smell to her, reminded him a bit of the wind in a way. Everything felt right in the world, in this moment with her, almost as if time had stopped. It was a bit scary.

[lionheartedkirstein]

blondescout:

                         “ i have a book about the past. i stole it from one of the houses that….” bought her? she didn’t want to say that out loud, even if he did know it… he knew everything about her at this point. some things she wished he didn’t. did he look at her like she was disgusting something? renae hoped not. “ you can read it anytime.if you want.” it was nice, reading about the past but it could also be a bit painful. why did they have such an easy life… a life of mostly peace and love. they had a whole day where you just loved being in love. it wasn’t really fair. she pursed her lips, looking down slightly.

Jean nodded slightly, moving in a little closer to her when she paused. Last thing he wanted to do was make her think of her past... “You actually found a book? Heard the books are quite rare.” Doesn’t surprise him some asshole noble had it. “I’d really like that... and we could read it together? I’d hate to lose it if I was borrowing it to read.” Honestly it was a reason to hang out with her again. He leaned in closer, resting his forehead against hers. “You look really nice with the flowers in your hair.”

[lionheartedkirstein]

blondescout:

                          “ no no… it’s okay. i like it.”and that was no lie, being close to him always did feel right. even if she didn’t think that she deserved it or didn’t feel good enough. jean couldn’t even call her by her real name unless they were totally alone. ( she really was a freak wasn’t she? ) not to mention, she was damaged goods. renae had been used, abused… “ a lot of things sounded nice about that time. days to express love… the ability to be normal. being able to have a life, a family… something most of us can’t have anymore.”

“O-Oh good” He sighed slightly in relief, at least she liked him playing with her hair like this. It was so soft, much softer than his own. “It really did, at least what little we have found out. I’m sure we’ll be able too once again, some... sort of do? I mean have a family and such.... just not exactly as relaxing as it must have been back then.” Meaning no giant titans coming to eat you. “I’d like to find out more about it. I only know a handful of things, sure you might know more?” He felt that she knew much more than him, not that he hated books. Just no one around him, that he knew of, had such books about the past.