Lisa Schunemann

The One Who Accidentally Deleted Her Tumblr Account. I have a huge stockpile of Karen Walker GIFS, so don't mess with me.

[lisaschunemann]

[lisaschunemann]

[lisaschunemann]

Wow

I have not posted on Tumblr in forever. But now that I'm logged on, some collages I made of my new WIP.

It's a dark take on the Anastasia legend, mixing in a metal magic system, plot twists and shocks, and a whole lot of crime and gangs. Oh, and it's a fantasy standalone.

Current working title is #IITC

[lisaschunemann]

It Happened Like This

I’m at my work computer, doing work-ish things, when I suddenly remember: I have a Tumblr account. A relatively new one, since my old one I accidentally deleted in a fit of stupid. But still, it’s a functioning place where I can type my thoughts, post, reblog nonsensical great stuff, and stalk author/writing related things. I’ve treated it like a blog, even though I have an actual Wordpress blog that I hate and don’t like and refuse to update.

Anyways. 2017 is a good year, so far. I started a new job that I really, really enjoy in commercial real estate. The people in my office are fantastic. My superior, I’ll call him P, is really one of the best human beings I’ve ever had the privilege of meeting. And we share the same Starbucks addiction #TeamEnablers. I also have two amazing women local in Columbus who are writers and are very good friends, which is super helpful on days when I’m feeling the UGH-I-suck-at-writing feels. Much love to Hetal and Kristen (and Kristen’s book is coming out this spring. It is DAMN GOOD. Link here for the GR: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/31450910-the-last-place-you-look )

Back to the job. I feel like I’m back on the ‘adult’ track where I can start planning for my future as, well, an adult… maybe. But that generally entails paying down the annoying credit card debt, buying a house in Columbus and moving out of Dr. Sasscake’s condo where I’ve been squatting since October 2015 (love you, Vicki), and maybe getting a dog. That is, if Prince Allen agrees. The cat has the final say, people.

But I’ve also had some interesting things happen with THE WRITING. I finished my YA fantasy, codename RTB for the working title, in August 2016. And then, brace yourselves, did nothing with it. Haven’t touched the 130,000 word monster since then. And I’ve accepted that that’s a good thing. That MS needs some serious help and major revisions. When I finished it, I didn’t know how to even begin or what those revisions needed to be. But usually once a week, now that I’m not focusing on it, I get a teeny little kernel of idea on what to change. What chapter could be cut. How the plot can be different. And when I’m feeling punchy/angry/wrathful, I turn on my RTB playlist because it’s possibly my favorite bunch of IDGAF songs ever.

See here for one of my faves:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5v7lEVDdVkg

So, after I wrote for 4+ hours at a coffee shop and finished that draft, I didn’t write again until the last weeks of November. I was maybe burnt out. Maybe too focused on the upcoming holidays. Or maybe it was because I was scared shitless that I’m a failure at the only thing I have ever truly loved to do. Writing and battling your confidence demons is not an easy thing. But, I was on a work trip near Cleveland and counting down my days to when I could quit that job. And suddenly I told myself, pour the cheap CVS wine into the cheap hotel plastic cup. Take a big sip. And sit at that hotel desk and WRITE SOMETHING. And I did. I wrote the first chapter of my current WIP, what I’m calling Crow Book or QoC.

And I am so happy I did. This book is going to be one that will challenge me, as a person and as a responsible writer, but I’m going to love it in the end. And man, the ending I have in mind will probably ruin me but it’s keeping me going in this draft. My current pitch for it is Red Queen meets shapeshifters in an ancient Rome world.

Or Game of Thrones meets Animal Kingdom (the Disney attraction, not the TNT show. Because wow, that would be crazy)

Opening song on my Spotify playlist:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0GQlO5aZhE&list=PL4qu0sKGYPHMzbdZi1soGxcB5KI3lLS-i

My goal is to finish the first draft by the end of March 2017. Then revise and get feedback in April. Then revise again. And, fingers crossed, query this book by May 2017. Because once I query Crow Book, I want to dive into drafting my next fantasy. And this next one is possibly the book of my soul. I wouldn’t say it’s a retelling of Vasalisa the Beautiful (my FAVORITE fairy tale of all time) but I did get the story idea while rereading the oldish copy of my Russian fairytale book. But I get shivers each time I think about it. It’s fantasy like I’ve always wanted to write – different species, FEMALE POWER, male warriors, big world, and lots of gritty darkness and lovely snark. So, pitching it, I’m thinking Black Jewels lite. Because holy god, Anne Bishop is QUEEN.

I’m going to call it my Fury Book. Because ‘fury’ plays a large part…

Song from my massive playlist and from one of my favorite movies, PRINCESS MONONOKE:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uFd8NwUfDPg

I have a very, very specific scene early on in the book that hit me like a bolt of lightning when I rewatched this movie years ago. Cue the shivers.

Closing this weird update/don’t-know-who-the-hell-will-read-this post with a favorite quote:

Trust yourself. Think for yourself. Act for yourself. Speak for yourself. Be yourself. Imitation is suicide.

-Marva Collins 

[berrybird-blog1]

Helpful things for action writers to remember

Sticking a landing will royally fuck up your joints and possibly shatter your ankles, depending on how high you’re jumping/falling from. There’s a very good reason free-runners dive and roll. 

Hand-to-hand fights usually only last a matter of seconds, sometimes a few minutes. It’s exhausting work and unless you have a lot of training and history with hand-to-hand combat, you’re going to tire out really fast. 

Arrows are very effective and you can’t just yank them out without doing a lot of damage. Most of the time the head of the arrow will break off inside the body if you try pulling it out, and arrows are built to pierce deep. An arrow wound demands medical attention. 

Throwing your opponent across the room is really not all that smart. You’re giving them the chance to get up and run away. Unless you’re trying to put distance between you so you can shoot them or something, don’t throw them. 

Everyone has something called a “flinch response” when they fight. This is pretty much the brain’s way of telling you “get the fuck out of here or we’re gonna die.” Experienced fighters have trained to suppress this. Think about how long your character has been fighting. A character in a fist fight for the first time is going to take a few hits before their survival instinct kicks in and they start hitting back. A character in a fist fight for the eighth time that week is going to respond a little differently. 

ADRENALINE WORKS AGAINST YOU WHEN YOU FIGHT. THIS IS IMPORTANT. A lot of times people think that adrenaline will kick in and give you some badass fighting skills, but it’s actually the opposite. Adrenaline is what tires you out in a battle and it also affects the fighter’s efficacy - meaning it makes them shaky and inaccurate, and overall they lose about 60% of their fighting skill because their brain is focusing on not dying. Adrenaline keeps you alive, it doesn’t give you the skill to pull off a perfect roundhouse kick to the opponent’s face. 

Swords WILL bend or break if you hit something hard enough. They also dull easily and take a lot of maintenance. In reality, someone who fights with a sword would have to have to repair or replace it constantly.

Fights get messy. There’s blood and sweat everywhere, and that will make it hard to hold your weapon or get a good grip on someone. 

A serious battle also smells horrible. There’s lots of sweat, but also the smell of urine and feces. After someone dies, their bowels and bladder empty. There might also be some questionable things on the ground which can be very psychologically traumatizing. Remember to think about all of the character’s senses when they’re in a fight. Everything WILL affect them in some way. 

If your sword is sharpened down to a fine edge, the rest of the blade can’t go through the cut you make. You’ll just end up putting a tiny, shallow scratch in the surface of whatever you strike, and you could probably break your sword. 

ARCHERS ARE STRONG TOO. Have you ever drawn a bow? It takes a lot of strength, especially when you’re shooting a bow with a higher draw weight. Draw weight basically means “the amount of force you have to use to pull this sucker back enough to fire it.” To give you an idea of how that works, here’s a helpful link to tell you about finding bow sizes and draw weights for your characters.  (CLICK ME)

If an archer has to use a bow they’re not used to, it will probably throw them off a little until they’ve done a few practice shots with it and figured out its draw weight and stability. 

People bleed. If they get punched in the face, they’ll probably get a bloody nose. If they get stabbed or cut somehow, they’ll bleed accordingly. And if they’ve been fighting for a while, they’ve got a LOT of blood rushing around to provide them with oxygen. They’re going to bleed a lot. 

Here’s a link to a chart to show you how much blood a person can lose without dying. (CLICK ME) 

If you want a more in-depth medical chart, try this one. (CLICK ME)

Hopefully this helps someone out there. If you reblog, feel free to add more tips for writers or correct anything I’ve gotten wrong here. 

[bluedragonade-deactivated201703]

@geostigmata

[rederiswrites]

Okay guys, for writing/general reference, a bit about what a ‘blacksmith’ is and isn’t:

A blacksmith is a generalist, a person who uses tools and fire to work iron.  Some blacksmiths work more specifically, so you get, say, an architectural blacksmith, who focuses more or less exclusively on things like gates, rails, fences, or an artist blacksmith, who makes wacky sculptures or what have you.  These days, though, that’s a pretty blurry line.  ‘Blacksmith’ is a pretty damn broad term, but it’s nowhere near broad enough to cover everything encompassed in ‘metalworker’, which is how I often see it used.  There are a LOT of different skills for working metal, and no one knows them all.  Some other terms:

A farrier shoes horses.  They may make the shoes, or they may buy them and then size them, but they actually do the shoeing.  Unless the blacksmith is also a farrier, they don’t know shit about horses’ hooves and are not qualified to deal with them and probably don’t want to.

A blacksmith works IRON (or steel), usually almost exclusively.  They might work with bronze or do a bit of brazing, but those are really separate skillsets.  If you work, say, tin and/or pewter, you are in fact a whitesmith.  You could also be a silversmith or a coppersmith, and so on.

Knifemakers and swordsmiths have their own highly specialized and fairly complex specialties, and usually a blacksmith wouldn’t mess with that unless they want to pick up a new skillset or if they’re really the only game going for a long way around.  By the same token, a swordsmith might never have learned the more general blacksmithing skills.  They’re not the same thing is what I’m trying to say here.  Likewise armorers.  There’s overlap but it’s not the same thing.

If you make metal items via molds and casting, you work at a foundry and are a foundryman.

Look, when metalworkers and individual shops and masters were the height of industry, this shit got REALLY specific.  There were people who spent their whole lives making pins.  Just pins.  Foundries specialized and made only bells, only cannon, only cauldrons, etc.  This is scratching the surface, I just wanted to make the point that ‘blacksmith’ is not the same thing as ‘magical muscly person who knows how to do everything related to metal’.

[jackthevulture]

Its been too long since I drew my boys! Happy Snoggletog HTTYD fandom!

[blitzfoxxo]

[gamingallnight]

Nothing fills me with as much unnecessary rage as when Publishers change a books design right in the middle of the series. 

[rain-tea-coffee]

[rain-tea-coffee]

[alderaanianrebel-a-blog]

i’m mean listen..

Mark beat a car crash Harrison beat a plane crash Carrie will kick this heart attack’s ass you best believe it.

[hanginggardenstories]

2017 THG Aspiring Author Series

The inaugural THG Aspiring Author Series was one of our favorite parts of this year. Did you see the fiction that came out of it? We hosted 5 aspiring authors this year, each one writing to a different prompt, and the stories are stunning. If you missed any of them, never fear! They are:

THE MOST TERRIFYING THING IN THE ROOM by Claire Biggs

CHECKMATE by Christie O. Hall

SHE WAS THE MOON by Kaye M.

THE MARTYR by Amber J. Gardner

ARMORED IN THE DEAD by China DeSpain

The Hanging Garden team is happy announce that we’re doing it again in 2017! We’re inviting 5 aspiring authors to contribute to the blog this year.

Here’s how it works. If you’re selected for one of the 5 guest spots, you will receive the cycle prompt (a GIF, a word, a theme – the same one shared by the rest of THG) precisely two months before your story will be featured on the blog. During that time, The Hanging Garden team will be available for your questions, concerns, and beta reads if desired.

You are eligible if:

you are unagented AND

you are unpublished AND

you have a desire to be both agented and published.

To apply, please email us at [email protected] with the following:

your name

your age

your genre and audience of choice (ie YA High Fantasy or MG Contemporary)

your status as an aspiring writer (ie querying, drafting your 3rd novel, gnashing your teeth in a post-NaNo frenzy)

a brief statement of interest – why does The Hanging Garden appeal to you?

a link to your Tumblr

DEADLINE FOR APPLICATIONS: Tuesday, December 27th

We’ve set up an auto-responder on the email account. If you get the automated response, your submission has been received and all is well. We’ll review submissions and notify all applicants by December 31st. 

Good luck! We look forward to hearing from you!

[boxesofpepe]

Karen Walker GIFs 2/∞

[itskarenwalker]

[lovefortv]

[alliaofrph]

[writeinspiration]

WRITING HELP/CHARACTER

writing a bitchy character (1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10)

writing a cocky character (1,2,3,4)

writing a emotion character (1,2)

How to play a hippie

Playing the quiet character.

Portraying the shopaholic.

Portraying a mute character.

Portraying a kleptomaniac.

How to play the stalker.

Writing distant, indifferent characters.

How to write a character who stutters.

Writing a character who is sassy.

A guide to playing a southern character.

Portraying characters with crushes.

How to portray a teen mom.

How to play a character who is mean.

How to portray a character high on cocaine.

Writing a character who is high on amphetamines.

Playing an efficient male character.

Portraying the asshole.

Playing a character who suffers from shyness.

How to play a mentally ill/insane character.

Writing a character who self-harms.

Writing a happy character.

Writing a character who suffers from night terrors.

Writing a character with paranoid personality disorder.

How to play a victim of rape.

How to RP a blind character.

Writing a leader.

Writing a character with Dissociative Identity Disorder.

Writing a character with depression.

Writing a character who is homosexual.

Writing a character with schizophrenia.

Playing a fe/male character.

Writing a character with Nymphomania.

How to write a worry wart.

How to write a character with HPD.

How to write a bad ass character.

Playing a pansexual.

Tips on writing a drug addict.

Tips on writing the pregnant female.

Writing insane characters.

Playing a character under the influence of marijuana.

Portraying a character with diabetes.

How to play a prankster.

Playing a character who has been adopted.

Portraying a vampire.

Playing a character with an eating disorder.

Portraying a character who is anti-social.

Portraying a character who is depressed.

How to portray someone with dyslexia.

How to portray a character with bipolar disorder.

Portraying a character with severe depression.

How to play a serial killer.

Writing a tomboy.

Playing a pyromaniac.

How to write a mute character.

How to write a character with an OCD.

How to play a stoner.

How to write an asexual character.

How to play a bitchy/vicious character.

How to play a character with HPD.

Playing a pregnant woman.

Playing the burn-out.

Writing a “nice” character.

How to play a gentleman.

How to play a shy/introvert character.

How to play a naive character.

Playing characters with memory loss.

How to write a character who smokes.

How to write pirates.

How to write characters with PTSD.

How to play a character who isn’t ready for sex.

How to play the geek.

Playing the manipulative character.

Portraying a character with borderline personality disorder.

Playing a character with Orthorexia Nervosa.

Writing a character who lost someone important.

Playing the bullies.

Portraying the drug dealer.

Playing a rebellious character.

How to portray a sociopath.

How to play a swimmer.

Portraying a ballerina.

Playing a promiscuous male.

Playing a character with cancer.

How to portray a bubbly character.

How to portray a power driven character.

How to portray the shy character.

Playing a character under the influence of drugs.

Playing a character who struggles with Bulimia.

Portraying a hippie.

Portraying sexually/emotionally abused characters.

Playing a character with asthma.

Portraying characters who have secrets.

Portraying a recovering alcoholic.

Portraying a sex addict.

How to play someone creepy.

Portraying a foreigner.

Portraying an emotionally detached character.

How to play a character with social anxiety.

Portraying a character who is high.

How to play a strong, female character.

Writing a character with a hangover.

Playing angry characters.

Playing a character who is smarter than you.

Playing and writing autistic characters.

Portraying a trans character.

How to portray a dominant character.

Playing a character who is faking a disorder.

Playing a prisoner.

Playing the opposite sex.

Portraying a character who has PTSD.

Playing a character who stutters.

How to play a depressed character who self-harms.

Portraying the “dumb” character.

How to portray a lesbian.

How to play a blind character.

How to play a sexual assault victim.

Writing a compulsive gambler.

Playing a werewolf.

Writing a character who is drunk.

Playing a Brit.

Portraying a character with amnesia.

Playing heroes.

Portraying a witty character.

How to play a vampire.

How to play a character who is manipulative.

Portraying the natural born leader.

Portraying the character who is flirtatious.

Writing a nice character.

How to portray a character who has asthma.

Playing a character with ADHD.

Amnesia

Children

Losing Someone (2)

Physical Injuries (2, 3)

Sexual Abuse (2)

Fight Scenes (2, 3, 4)

Horror

Torture

How to Describe the Body Shape of Female Characters

Character Appearance Help

Words to Describe Voice

Character Development Exercises

Art of Character Development

Introducing Characters

Characters You Need to Reinvent

Making Characters Likable

Heroes and Villains

Understanding Body Language

Mental Illness in Writing

Conflicts and Characters

How about some writing resources for those post-NaNoWriMo blues?