Sorry Not Sorry

Secret files of Lisa With No L

[gifaknet-deactivated20181110]

[princesstigerbelle]

The only sport I will watch

[lisawithnol-blog]

Don't want no conversation...

I really don’t get it why I try to invite my brother over to have pizza and watch a movie. He’s had the pizza, and somehow managed to inhale it at the same time he talked non-stop about anything and everything. Did he even chew? He arrived an hour late and it’s now 30 min past that and the movie is on pause, pending when he’ll shut the fuck up. I didn’t want to have a conversation. I wanted to just sit and watch TV and I thought because he was all by himself that he’d want to hang out instead of having dinner alone. This lecture about some bullshit that I’m not into is not what I signed up for.

[lisawithnol-blog]

There was no point capturing the sun during the eclipse. I don't have a fancy camera for that. I could instead appreciate the shifting darkness around me as totality approached and then when it was complete. #totaleclipse #bucketlist #stlouisarch #summer #monday #makingmemories #nofilterneeded #darkduringtheday

[lisawithnol-blog]

I'll take this sky as my compensation for a really trying day. So glad it's over... #clouds #bigtxsky #afterwork #monday #nofilter #nofilterneeded #backyardview

[lisawithnol-blog]

As expected the sky grew dark off in the distance and the darkness under the cloud coverage promised heavy rain. #txweather #stormy #clouds #bigtxsky #drivingaround #saturday #rainiscoming

[lisawithnol-blog]

This is how I feel 100% of the time when I'm with my mother. Just the other day, I offered to give my mother a ride to pick something up from the store. Things were fine for the first 15 minutes. I make one mention that I needed to eat something before I got cranky, and suddenly it's the news of the day. Every reaction I have is irrational because I must be hangry. Then she had a moment when she thought she lost her phone (she hadn't) and suddenly bad things were happening to her and somehow it was my fault for having offered to drive her somewhere. This outburst was followed by a litany of complaints about my character, claims that I was a bad daughter and other lies she tells herself about me to justify why me having my own thoughts and opinions makes me the worst person ever. It was during that tantrum she was throwing in the passenger seat that I declared the day over and turned around to drive her back home where, I assured her, she would find her missing mobile phone and she could recuperate from the traumatic experience of being with me. Why don't I have a mother that loves me for who I am? Why do I have a mother that only loves me when I am fulfilling her vision for what my life should look like? She doesn't accept that I am my own person, and that not every thing is about her or needs to be controlled/manipulated by her... Why is it my father was only a dad when it was convenient for him or when it made him look good? He once told me to my face I wasn't worth putting any effort into because I was just a girl. He's a waste, and I disowned him long ago. I pretty much lost in the parent lottery. I'm sure there are parents way worse than mine, but I would have liked to have at least one parental unit who wasn't a giant disappointment.

[lisawithnol-blog]

This is my @Soundgarden #anthem had this in my head as the ship pulled out to sea on my last deployment. #4thofJuly

[lisawithnol-blog]

My aesthetic today. Woke up late, crazy thoughts in my head... this feels right. #breakfasttime #Sundaytunes #lifegoeson System by Chester Bennington

[lisawithnol-blog]

#NowPlaying Sledgehammer (From The Motion Picture "Star Trek Beyond") by Rihanna

[lisawithnol-blog]

#NowPlaying motivating me while I clean. the struggle is real. #Spotify I Mean It by G-Eazy