liss

am i ironically woke?

[gsspgrl777]

I LOVE MATTY HEALY!!

[justanamesstuff]

Unrequited love backstage - Matty Healy x f!reader

Part 2 of Unrequited love at the studio.

A/N: Guys, don't expect this every week/weekend, but I got a little obsessed with this concept. I'm a sucker for this kind of angsty vibe, unrequited love, friends paining, etc. HOPE YOU LIKE IT.

Warnings: paining, fluff, little angst, typos.

Word count: 1.7 k

Blog masterlist

Part 1

Y/n entered the dressing room excited about the show. She was meant to give some words of encouragement to the boys before going to her seat. Matty was the only one inside the room. He was standing in all his glory in front of the big mirror, fighting with his tie.

Matty’s friend whistled for him, trying to get his attention. He turned to his side; Matty glanced at Y/n annoyed. Y/n arched her eyebrows, silently asking. They could read each other’s mind without even speaking sometimes.

“Can you help me with the tie?” he punctuated his question by sliding the tie off his neck.

Matty extended the piece of clothing towards Y/n. It was kind of an offer to her, a silent way to say ‘come closer’. His hand was moving anxiously between them. Y/n step forward, carefully, analysing his aura. 

The show that night was the biggest one the band was going to offer for the fans up to that moment. Y/n empathized with Matty. Her stomach was twisting, her chest hurt a little with all the anticipation; and she wasn’t going to perform.

Y/n came closer, taking the tie on her hand. She let the piece round her own neck, so she can reach for the collar of his shirt, pulling it up. “Haven’t you done it like a hundred times?” she asked him in a funny tone. 

Seconds later, Y/n placed Matty’s tie around his neck. She reached behind his head, bringing both ends of it to the front of his shirt. Matty’s breath was fanning over her face. He was close. 

He was focused on every one of her actions. “Yes, but my hands are shaking…” the frontman admitted.

It wasn’t a total lie. Matty was nervous about the night, he wanted Y/n close as well. He wasn’t going to tell her that, though. 

“Aww, are you nervous, baby boy?” Matty tried hard not to blush. He was putty on her hands when she addressed him with nicknames, silly ones were his favourite.

He scoffed, “Man.”

“Right, I always forget.” Y/n looked up at him, detaching her sight from the tie for a single second. She sensed Matty pinching her left hip, Y/n whined and laughed about it. Matty let his hands rest there. He needed physical contact with Y/n. 

The way she showed the tip of her tongue while she was focused on doing the perfect knot for him warmed Matty’s heart. Her soft lips, the bridge of her nose, her eyes, everything about her enamoured him. She was perfect for his eyes. 

“You know this is one of my favourite outfits on you?” Y/n confessed, bringing him out of his trance. 

Matty wasn’t expecting her revelation, although the apple of her cheeks turning red excited the singer. “All black?” 

“Yeah.” Y/n declared, without looking up to his face. She finally finished the knot, tagging the short bit under, so it was right in place.

“Are you blushing, baby girl?” Matty teased her, bringing the collar down, hiding the tie around his neck. 

Y/n pushed his chest, leaning backwards far from him. “Shut up!” she exclaimed. 

Matty studied her factions. Y/n was indeed embarrassed about admitting –partially– she fancied him in that outfit. 

“Oh, you are!” he tried to bring her back into his embrace, rounding her with his strong arms.

Y/n tried to change the subject, patting the centre of his chest where the tie laid. “There, all tied up!” 

“Kinky.”

“You’re impossible…”

Y/n blanked her eyes at his comment. She decided it was time to leave and wait with the rest of the crowd for the guys to perform. 

Matty tensed the muscles of his arms, preventing her from leaving. They were chest to chest close. “Don’t go.” He begged in a whisper, drawing little circles on the upper part of her back. 

Y/n dared to look at his hazel eyes, “You need to warm up and all of that, Matt.” she reminded him. 

Matty ignored her words, bringing Y/n impossibly closer to his body. “Just one more second…” he said, going to hide his face on her neck, resting his cheek on her shoulder. 

Y/n let him, sneaking her arms over Matty’s shoulders. Her mouth touched, slightly, the lobe of his left ear. “You’re going to smash it, handsome!” Y/n’s breath touching his skin sent shivers down his spine. 

“Mmm.” Matty let out, lost in her essence, her touch, everything about her. 

After a few minutes, rocking their bodies –still intertwined- slowly from side to side, Y/n’s sight fell on the clock adoring the wall. It was time to go now.

“Okay, time to shine. I’ll go get my seat.” Y/n pushed back, looking at his face. 

Matty smiled at her, bumping her nose, while telling her, “I’ll see you later, alligator.” 

He let her go, but kept his attention on her body moving toward the door. Suddenly, she turned around, smiling wide. 

“Break a leg!” 

“I don’t want to break-“ Matty went to joke about it, but Y/n’s words shut him.

“Don’t dedicate a song to me!” Y/n interrupted, bringing to present a previous situation with Matty. 

She hated to be the centre of attention. Once, during a show, he didn’t name her but explained that the next song they were going to play was dedicated to one of his closest friends, someone he adored deeply. Y/n knew it was about her when they started playing her favourite song; the one she admitted to absolutely adore, after Matty’s insistence. Y/n complained about it after the show but ended up thanking him as well. It was a song they rarely played, so she couldn’t deny it was a nice gesture. 

“We’ll see about that…” Matty responded cheekily. 

“Healy, I’ll break your leg myself if you do that again!”

“Insignificant threats.” he brushed her off.

Y/n stared at his eyes, trying to figure out if he was joking or not. “Do it and face the consequences.” she warned him, pointing at his face with her finger. 

“Oh, come on…last time, you cried and then hugged me. That was all the damage…” Matty recalled the events as they were. Y/n blushed again. 

Before she could add anything else, George’s voice came from behind her back, “What damage?” he asked.

“He’s threaten with dedicate me a song again…” Y/n shared with G.

George looked between the pair, he laughed at Matty’s face. “Whipped Matty.” he stated, faking coughing. He passed by Y/n’s side, touching her shoulder as a greeting. 

“Fuck you, George!”

“If you’re going to fuck George, at least wait for us to leave.” Adam said with a polite tone, entering the room.

Ross shivered in horror thinking about what Adam said, “I don’t need those images in my mind.” his shoulders shaking dramatically. 

Y/n loved the whole band and crew, they were a second family for her. All of them were friendly and welcoming. She watched the guys interact like adolescents. Y/n had to leave. 

“Well, I’ll leave you guys to it…good luck!” she wished them all.

They chanted in unison “Bye, Y/n” and  “Enjoy the show!” except for Matty. He ran to the door, setting his eyes on her back while she walked down the hall. 

He stood at the door frame of the dressing room, shouting, “I’m between ‘Settle Down’, ‘Don’t Worry’” he continued messing with her about dedicating a song. Knowing the reaction he would get with the mention of another song she liked, Matty smirked wide kept talking, “or ‘Antichrist’” As he expected, Y/n turned around with the mention of it.

“Would you do that?” Y/n questioned him, sceptic. 

Matty crackled. “‘Course not.” Y/n’s face turn out to an annoyed one, she turned her back instantly making Matty laughed. “Maybe if you ask nicely,” he kept going. “I would do it just for you, love!”

But Y/n was done with his tricks and jokes, she continued walking far from him. 

“Whatever!” she answered him without looking, soon enough she disappeared from Matty’s sight. 

He walked back inside, smiling, calmer than before Y/n showed up. Once inside, the guys burst into a group laugh. Matty looked at them puzzled. 

“Oh, man…” Ross went to patted him on the shoulder.

“What?” he asked at his mate. 

“He's down badly, right?” George talked directly to Adam and Ross, ignoring Matty –who was trying to get what they were talking about–.

Adam nodded, “He’s all hearts and kisses when she’s around.” he presented his facts. 

“What on earth are you dickheads talking about?” Matty tried to make eye contact with them, and get real answers, but the guys continued to not pay attention to the frontman.

Ross took pity on him. “You and Y/n.” he clarified. 

Matty still didn’t get what they were implying exactly.

“What about it?” 

“You’re down boy.” Adam said finally. 

Matty half laughed, surprised by Adam’s sayings. “She’s my best friend.”

Inside, Matty was trying to keep his calm. He was so sure the rest of the world didn’t know about his feelings for her. He sometimes tried to ignore them. Lately it was harder and harder. Although, he wasn’t in no position to admitted out loud.

George interfered. “We’re almost your brothers, and you don’t offer to dedicate songs…”

“I’m messing with her!”

“You don’t cuddle us…” G continued.

“I- She’s my friend.” he repeated his statement, less convinced than before. Once his own voice reached his ears, he wanted to facepalm himself. 

“Sure, Matty.”

Matty stared at the floor, saying, “It’s not like that with her. She’s not into me, and I-“ he stopped talking. 

They waited, giving him time. “And you?” Ross encouraged him to continue after a few minutes.

Matty stared at his best friends, finding in their faces something he couldn’t quite place but dislike enormously. 

“Forget it. We have a show to do!” he made his way to the door. 

“Poor thing…” Adam said, Ross and George agreed, shaking their heads. 

“Agh!” Matty screamed when he heard.

‘Did Y/n noticed he was down bad for her?’, he worried. 

Part 3

[shit1975]

If all men lie, please Matty Healy lie to me.

[kscheibles]

let me come home

content warnings: f! reader, angst, fluff, smut, sex toys, unprotected p in v sex, oral sex m receiving, oral sex f receiving, drug mentions (weed and ecstasy)

word count: 3.7k

Your sneakers squeak on the pristine tile floor of the hotel lobby as you hurry to the elevator. With your hoodie over your head, you look down at your phone.

“1221” says the most recent text. You whip your head up long enough to smile at the elevator attendant and tell him where you’re headed. Inside the small box, you feel flustered; claustrophobic with excitement and anxiety and anticipation. When you reach the twelfth floor, you dart out quicker than is polite and look behind you as you scan the room numbers in front of you. 17, 19, 21. You look to both sides again before knocking twice. Finally, the door swings open and you’re face to face with a jogger-clad Matty. He looks soft around the edges, worn-out. It’s probably the jet lag. He beams at the sight of you and you push past him into the room.

“Did you get the pigs in a blanket?” you ask him once you’ve left your shoes at the door. His face falls and his brows furrow.

“What kind of greeting is that?” he returns. You look at him blankly in a stalemate.

“They said it will be 45 minutes,” he relents. Your face lights up and you greet him with a kiss on the cheek. And the neck. Matty wraps his arms around you and leans down to kiss the top of your head. The sweet floral scent of your hair fills his lungs, intoxicating him more than any joint or drink could.

“Not to get you all riled up, but I sprung for some orange juice as well,” he says into your hair. You chuckle good-naturedly and lean up to meet his lips in a homecoming kiss. Your skin begins to sing as he kisses you back insistently, parting your lips with his tongue. You whimper softly at the euphoric feeling, already beginning to spread to your head and limbs.

“Think we can go for a round before they come up with it?” you ask conspiratorially.

“Don’t tempt me with a good time,” he replies. You’re smiling as he picks you up by your bum and carries you to the king sized bed, plopping you down unceremoniously in the middle. You move towards the top of it and shrug your hoodie off, revealing a red lace bra. Matty moves to cover you with his body as you get comfortable, your head against the plush, cold pillows.

One of his hands moves to trace the outline of your bra, flesh strains against the delicate fabric, practically begging to be released. He licks his bottom lip absentmindedly and his hand fully envelops your breast.

“Fuck, all this for me?” he asks. You roll your eyes.

“Obviously,” you smile back at him.

“You spoil me sweetheart. So fucking gorgeous,” his words are like syrup, sticky and sweet. They coat your tongue with sugar and go to straight your head. They linger in your mind when he's gone. You wish you could bottle them or press them into vinyl. Play them for your family and friends. Look, this is real. I’m his. A pang of hurt hits you right behind the eyes.

Matty is pressing soft, chase kisses to the exposed flesh on your chest. He looks so content– at home. Are you each others' homes?

“You okay baby?” he looks up at you, all pink lips and flushed skin and blown-out pupils, “you’re not taking the piss out of me for being sentimental.” His words make you chuckle, and snap from your melancholia. Your hands find his soft brown hair in answer to his question.

“I’m perfect. Fuck, keep going please,” his hands are around your back in no time, fumbling with the clasp of your bra. You arch your back to grant him more access and he groans at the feeling of you pressed into him. The euphoria clouds his mind and his fingers move uselessly behind you. You move your hand to cover them.

“Here, I got it,” you chuckle.

“No. Fuck, please let me. You went to all this effort, I wanna unwrap you myself,” he finally undoes the clasp and you lift your arms as he peels the garment off of you, brushing his lips down your arm as he does. Your breasts, once held up perfectly by the lingerie, flatten on your chest, you look down at them. Matty catches you looking.

“Don’t worry, they’re perfect,” he kisses the valley between your tits, right next to your heart. “Perfect, perfect,” the movements of his mouth massage the soft flesh of your right breast as he moves further in. “Perfect,” he says and captures your right nipple in his mouth, immediately swirling his tongue around it, wetting you completely. His teeth close softly around the bud and just when you think you’ve got him figured out, he replaces them with his lips, sucking devotedly at you. Your skin is on fire and he’s the only one who can extinguish it. You know he’ll bring you right to the edge of burning down before he does.

You arch up into the feeling of his warm mouth and have a moment of clarity long enough to realize he’s still in his t-shirt. Your hands move to the hem and push it up his rigid stomach.

“Off, off, off,” you say deliriously. It’s meant to be sexy, but it comes out whiney, needy. Why are you always so needy?

Your thoughts are cut off by the sight of his fair skin littered with tattoos, passing thoughts he’s memorialized on his body. Your lusty eyes devour him and all of the sudden you need more control.

“Switch with me,” you demand. He obliges without a word and you take your leggings off as he shuffles around on his back. You move back over him, now clad only in a red thong that barely functions as underwear. Matty notices it at the same time you do: you’ve left a wet mark on his gray sweatpants where you straddled him. He reaches down to touch the damp fabric between your thighs, warm and inviting. He plays with the lace, pulling it up so it rubs deliciously between your folds and roughly on your clit. Your head falls back and you begin to grind against his hand as he moves the fabric back and forth, finally gathering the friction you came here for. His fingers wander down to your hole and push tentatively into you. He’s only halfway in when he pulls them out. Your eyes snap up to him annoyed. He offers you a conciliatory glance.

“Can I eat you out?”

You’re appeased. You dismount him to shuck your last stitch of clothing off. As you crawl back up his body, his eyes catch yours.

“You thought I was gonna be mean? What on earth would make you think that?” Your mind’s eye flashes back to a reunion a month ago, your hands tied beautifully above your head as Matty edged you cruelly with a vibrator. Come and get it, greedy girl. The obscenities echo in your head. You blush at the thought and at his taunts.

“Shut up,” you say timidly, and cover his face with your wet cunt. He’s got his arms around your thighs and his tongue slicing up between your folds, treating you to a variety of sensations as he pays attention to each sensitive part of you. Your hands come up to brace yourself against the headboard as he begins to work on your clit, licking in sweet sideways strokes before sucking it into his mouth. As the pressure in your body increases, you begin to ride his face, furiously chasing your release.

“Mmmmph fuck, good girl,” the vibrations from his moans go straight into your pussy and increase your pleasure tenfold.

“Please, please stay like that. I’m gonna cum,” you warn. He releases a lengthy moan into you as you continue to chase your peak. He knows he’s the only person to have ever made you cum, and he still gets off on it every time. He moves his mouth away from you long enough for you to hear what he’s saying.

“Cum for me, please. Need you all over my face baby,” and with that he’s back in you everywhere. Hands coming to cover your backside and reach into your wetness, his tongue licking up into your hole, filling you. His nose bumps into your clit at intervals that drive you crazy. But what tips you over the edge is when he moves his hand to the bottom of your entrance, pushing gently against your back wall. You feel so full and euphoric as your orgasm washes over you, starting at the space between your legs and spreading to your chest, your fingers, your nose. You ride him through it and stop when you can’t take it anymore, breathing heavily. His fingers are still pressed inside you. He’s obsessed with knowing it’s real, feeling your heartbeat against his fingers and face. You know you can never fake it with him, and what’s more you don’t have to.

You move off of him and lay on your back. He ducks to the side to clean himself a bit and then leans over to kiss you. You put your hand on his head and move him away gently.

“My face is numb. Can’t feel you,” you say bashfully.

“Yeah?” he’s proud and smiling, eyes squinted so tight you can’t make out his irises.

“Sorry,” you say.

“Please, that’s the best reason I’ve ever heard not to kiss someone,” he grins and pulls you into his chest to come down. Your hands come up to the space below his ribs, trace his top abdominals, get lost in the sweet smattering of chest hair that covers his tattoos.

A knock at your door snaps you from your reverie. You hurry under the duvet as Matty gets up, stretching his muscular arms gratuitously before heading to the door.

The hotel worker has a table he’s wheeling around and he begins to push it into the room. Matty is quick to stop the table and wink at the guy.

“I’ll take it from here, mate thanks,” he says and hands him a $20 note. With the door finally closed, Matty rolls your midnight snack over to your side of the bed. He pours you orange juice from the carafe before crossing the room to faff about with his luggage. You watch him curiously as you sip on your orange juice, slowly feeling the weight return to your body as you replenish your blood sugar. He produces a beautifully wrapped box from his duffel.

“What’s this?” you ask. It’s not uncommon for Matty to give you gifts, but he’s always finding some way to surprise you. He’s sweet, impossibly sweet. Though you suppose it must be easy to be nice when you’re rich. You push the thought away. Nothing exists outside of these four walls. Nothing exists except us.

He gets into bed and slots himself behind you. He kisses your shoulder as he places the parcel on the covers.

“Open it,” he insists. You rip the wrapping paper eagerly and see the box of a beautiful — that’s really the only word you could use to describe it — vibrator. It’s the fanciest you’ve ever seen: pink and white and gold. You want to laugh, of course he’d make an investment when it comes to this.

“You’re crazy, this is a fancy fucking vibrator,” you chuckle and lean your head against him. He reaches over to the table and uncovers the pigs in a blanket. He feeds one to you tenderly before enveloping you in his arms.

“You know our sex is too good for second rate toys,” he states, smiling into your neck. You finish chewing and turn around in his lap before hugging him around his neck.

“All this and room service?” you tease, opening the box excitedly.

“What can I say, I’m a generous guy,” he smiles slyly, taking the box from your struggling hands, “Now hurry up and eat, I wanna use it on you.” Your heart jumps into your throat.

“I don’t need to eat, I’m ready now,” you tell him, defiant. He loves it, loves how eager you are, how badly you want him, how you treat him like he’s the only person you’ve ever had. He traces his pointer finger over your cupid's bow.

“I’m ready too, darlin’ but I need you to eat something. After that I’ll keep you up all night long. I promise,” he coos. He grabs two more bites of food and gives one to you, cheersing you before eating his whole.

—

Matty gently removes the vibrator from your swollen, red clit and gets up off the bed as he quickly rids himself of his boxers. He leans back over your face and kisses you, admiring your blissed out expression.

“Do I need to get a condom?” he knows that, with you guys, it’s not always safe to go without. He wouldn’t pressure you, but he knows you’d rather feel him wholly, if you can. Obviously, he feels the same way. You blush a little.

“I’m actually good this time. I’ve not been with anyone else,” you don’t know why you’re shy about it. Surely, he wouldn’t find that lame, would he? No, he would like it, you think. He would like that he’s the only person to have been with you recently. Maybe you’re kidding yourself. He touches your face and snaps you out of it.

“I haven’t either,” he says calmly, “don’t trust anyone like I trust you.” He climbs back over top of you and kisses you deeply, “turn over for me, yeah?”

You oblige, settling comfortably on your stomach. He moves a pillow under your hips and hikes your right leg up at an angle on the bed. You hear buzzing again behind you as Matty positions the vibrator on your clit.

“You feel good?” he asks.

“Yes,” you’re a little out of breath, dumb with anticipation, “Need you though. Need it harder.”

You feel him running up and down through your folds, almost dipping into you. You moan obnoxiously, too proud to tell him again how much you need him. It’s enough for him, he pushes into you unhurriedly, savoring the moment, relishing in every inch he stretches you. When he bottoms out, he moves his hands up beside your shoulders and whispers in your ear.

“Fuck you’re so tight. Can I move?” You nod frantically into the pillow and he begins to snap his hips into yours. You feel your heartbeat everywhere as your pleasure begins to build. Matty covers your hands in his and stretches them out in front of you, keeping you in place as he fucks you precisely. Each time he bottoms out, he presses your clit perfectly against the vibrator.

“Good girl. You’re doing so well for me, baby,” he pants in your ear. He’s dominant, but it’s sweet and the perfect mixture of submission and pride swirls around your foggy brain as you begin to float. You try to focus on one feeling at a time, his cock sliding in and out of you, his hands on yours’, his warm breath on your ear, the vibrations on the tortured nub between your legs. It’s too much all together. You let yourself go, brain wiping completely as you buck senselessly against the pillow, trying to meet his hips. You cum without realizing that the feeling was creeping up on you, attacked with pleasure as you collapse on the bed in total bliss. Matty’s not far behind, watching you unravel beneath him makes his ego swell and he fucks into you even harder than before.

“I need a second,” you say. It catches Matty off-guard and he stills above you, pulling out slowly. He turns you on your back so he can see your eyes.

“You okay?” he searches your face for any discomfort.

“I’m fucking great. Just sensitive. Were you close?” you ask, suddenly concerned you’ve ruined it for him.

“Yeah, I was,” he seems unbothered. He smiles down at you. You take his hard cock in your hand and begin to pump him over your stomach. “Fuuuuuuuck,” his head rolls back, “can I come in your mouth?”

You kneel in response and push him down onto his back and take him in your mouth, bobbing up and down, wetting him completely and keeping the pressure on him. He reaches out to grab your hand as he begins to spurt into your mouth. The salty tang of him tastes like victory. You smile at him; a content, fucked out grin and then swallow. He wipes a bit left over by the side of your mouth.

“C’mere,” he whines and pulls you into him again. “Goddamn you’re so good to me.”

“Aw don’t go soft on me now, Healy,” you taunt. He groans.

“Don’t be cute. I just came, I don’t have my wits well enough about me to go toe-to-toe with you,” he responds.

“Now if only you’d admit the same about the rest of the time,” you muse.

“Cheeky,” he bops your nose. You let silence fill the room for a moment.

“How long are you here for?” you question, looking up at him. A word from him could change the course of your life, it seems. No, you’re not in love with him. You wouldn’t let yourself do that. But god it feels right with him. It makes sense that you’d want to prolong your time with him for as long as possible. You’re not you when you’re with him. Well yes, you’re you, but a freer, less encumbered you. Like you’re on vacation, or on ecstasy…or something. He makes all the hurt go away. All of the hurt is outside, and inside is a protective fort of your own making. Your shelter.

“Five days. ‘Til Sunday,” he says, “can’t stand the heat longer than that.” You know Matty hates Los Angeles. You don’t blame him, really. It doesn’t seem anything like home to him.

But it still makes you sad. That he might spend bits of his free time in other places just because he likes the atmosphere better. That he would choose to be away from you even though you feel more like home to him than any city could.

“Okay,” you say. It didn’t really need an answer. You can’t see him every day anyways. You have a job and housemates that will wonder where you are, and a mother who’s always begging you to come by for dinner. You don’t tell them about him: your booty call, the rockstar. That would go over well. Anyways, you two are the only ones who get you. Everything goes bad once it leaves the safe-haven you’ve carefully built for yourselves. Rumors and questions and judgements. You’d rather keep it all here. Where it can be perfect.

“Will you tell me about Spain?” you query as you nestle yourself back into him, pushing away the future and snuggling back into the present.

“It was fucking unreal, darlin’. You would have loved it. All these breathtaking old churches and mosques. People dancing, playing guitar, and cheering in the streets. And the food, god. I know you too well to take you there, you would eat yourself silly and then tell me you’re too full to make love to me,” he chuckles.

“That seems like an appropriate behavior on vacation,” you push back.

“It is, but I want you all to myself,” he flips the two of you onto your sides and buries his head in your chest as he squeezes you impossibly closer. “Does that make me selfish?”

His voice sounds so small when it’s coming from under the covers.

“Maybe,” you say. He looks up at you like he might be hurt, “but I’m selfish when it comes to you, too.” You consider your next words, scared to be too candid. No, you think, If anyone would want me to be honest, it’s Matty.

“I get a little rush when you tell me that you haven’t been with anyone since you last saw me,” you say tentatively.

“Me too, sweetheart. It’s different with you.” You breathe a sigh of relief. You sit up and grab the glasses off the side table and go to the restroom. You relieve yourself quickly and fill the water cups, bringing them back to bed.

“Can I ask you a question?” you say. Matty raises his eyebrows in answer as he takes a sip of water. “What does it really feel like for guys when you have sex with girls? You guys always act like it feels so good when you first put it in. Is it really like that every time?”

Matty smiles softly at your earnestness. “I thought you were gonna ask me something serious,” he teases.

“I am being serious,” you insist.

He considers you, your expression, your posture. Deciding what you want from him. The truth, he thinks. All she ever wants is the truth. He takes you in his arms.

“You know when you get back from a holiday and you get to sleep in your bed on your pillow again for the first time in weeks?” you nod along. “It’s like that, but a thousand, no— a million times better. Especially if it’s with someone you know. It’s a relief. It’s safe. It feels like coming home.” You look at him, searching for any little bit of artifice. You find none, you should know by now that you won’t find any with him. Why can’t you trust that?

“You feel like coming home, darlin’.”

You believe him. You agree. So why does it still hurt? You put your head on his chest and close your eyes.

“So do you. Thanks for taking me home.”

“Anytime.”

You know he doesn’t quite mean it—any time he’s in town, yes. Anytime he’s not with a groupie in Japan. Anytime he’s not dealing with some work obligation or visiting his family in England. But as sleep begins to crowd your brain, you let yourself take his words at face value. Anytime. Anytime. He’ll come home anytime.

a/n: please tell me your thoughts etc. I hope this brightens your day! see you all at satvb this fall <3

[bennyna]

[waystarblacksco]

matty, seattle // 12.02.22

shot by me

[alwyswnadie]

SUNSHINE BABY!!

[alwyswnadie]

he’s so handsome :((

[liss-nxwton]

i wanna kiss you so bad

[toomuchracket]

ex-fucking-cuse me?! after everything else that's happened today?! i'm so sick

[trumanblackblog]

[liss-nxwton]

?!!!!!

[trumanblackblog]

A Musical Performance Of An Intimate Moment

[liss-nxwton]

this is fucking beautiful

[artemistudying]

Some Inspirational Quotes

“It takes nothing to join the crowd. It takes everything to stand alone.”   Hans F Hanson

“You are much more than what you’re going through.”  John Tew

“My only regrets are the moments when I doubted myself and took the safe route. Life is too short to waste time being unhappy.”   Dan Howell

“Be yourself. Don’t worry about what other people are thinking of you, because they’re probably feeling the same kind of scared, horrible feelings that everyone does.”   Phil Lester

“The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.” Elbert Hubbard

“The final forming of a person’s character lies in their own hands.” Anne Frank

“Life was meant to be lived, and curiosity must be kept alive. One must never, for whatever reason, turn his back on life.” Eleanor Roosevelt

“We meet no ordinary people in our lives.” C.S. Lewis

“It’s the little details that are vital. Little things make big things happen.”  John Wooden

“If we all did the things we are capable of, we would literally astound ourselves.” Thomas Edison

“We build too many walls and not enough bridges.” Isaac Newton

“A small body of determined spirits fired by an unquenchable faith in their mission can alter the course of history.” Mahatma Gandhi

“I am still learning.” Michelangelo

[eearth-deactivated20180601]

The real glo up is when you stop waiting to turn into some perfect hypothetical version of yourself and consciously enjoy being who you are in the present moment.

[liss-nxwton]

Everyone: we need a miracle for 2017

Ed Sheeran: :)

[letitdirty]

Room goal part V

[urbanthropologie]

ways to start feeling again

sit in the sun without anything to do, feel the heat of the rays hit your skin, realize that this sunlight has travelled a very long way to reach you

walk around barefoot and try to feel as much of the ground under your feet as you can, notice every rock and blade of grass

sit quietly for a while and notice the touch of breath in your nostrils, feel how the air gets cooler as you inhale and warmer as you exhale

drive around aimlessly and blast some of your favorite songs, scream/sing along to them and feel the vibrations of your favorite lyrics as they change the air in your throat and around you, feel that the music is healing you from the inside out

stay away from alcohol or drugs for a few days, try to be as aware and present as you can in every moment, stop trying to numb or dull your senses

eat a few meals without any distractions, notice every bite and taste every flavor that covers your tongue, be grateful for it all

look up at the stars and the moon, understand how small we all are and how immense the universe is, realize what a miracle everything is, let your heart swell with amazement and admiration for life itself

[kinomatika]

ok this is actually cool bc doing all of this is a technique called “mindful thinking” that is extremely useful for people with anxiety disorders and dissociation disorders and stuff!

[dailyactress]

Pretty Little Liars