Alissa @lissw98 - Tumblr Blog

Friendships.

Have you wondered why people get close. Why people drift apart. What males it different from the time where you first started being friends, to the time where you drift apart. Does one actions change ? Does one simply just drift apart? Why is there communication when one has another issue with another? Is it because we know them so much we can predict the outcome of the conversation brought to hand? If so how do we not know how to bring it up without the conversation getting out of control? Is it because we know someone so much that we haven’t taken the time to look at ourselves. Do you really know your triggers? Are you being as understanding as you say you are? Are you understanding the other party without yourself getting hard headed and defensive? This year has seen to be the year on many old and new friendships ending. Do I know why these old friends have gotten mad at my actions? Yes. Did I try to address why I have done the actions I did? Yes. Did that change their opinion? No.

To focus on the negative on why you are mad at someone can cause a destruction itself. They can explain themselves to the fact they give up because you’re focused on your hurt they caused. Jealousy to other friendships can also cause a destruction. A friendship I’m going to address involves this action. People don’t like to be alone, let alone rejected. Showing you’re putting effort into others and not you makes you feel left out and not wanted.

You can talk to someone so much and communicate your feelings to where your lungs give out, but if they don’t care enough they won’t act on your words. Someone will put in the effort if that’s what they want to do. They aren’t hanging out with you because they claim to be too busy. Then you notice they are hanging out with multiple different people not even a week after. Don’t think it’s all on you. When you’ve tried to contact, communicate, talk about their actions and how they effect you… You can’t change it. You shoot your shot.

People forget you can’t control how someone reacts to what you say or do. How you say one thing can be defensive to another even if that wasn’t your intent. Hurt can be caused by anything and everything. No one hears anyone out. Either from them believing they are justified to act the way they feel just, and to believe you are the bad guy because you were the one to hurt them. Once someone is upset no matter how long you wait for the right time to talk to them, it can and still will bomb. Many also don’t realize their subconscious is taking out other issues on another person, or even little things said person has done that upset them that they swept under the rug. That’s why communication about anything and everything to a person is a key to any working relationship.

Trying to keep an opened mind on anything is easier said than done. You have an opinion? Hard to change your mind correct? Has someone comes at you with allegations on what you’ve done? How did you act? Did you hear them out properly, or got defensive? Have a view on a certain topic? Hard to change your view correct? Keep in mind we are all human and can’t be perfect. We all make mistakes and misinterpret. Any relationship with any human being is one of the most challenging concepts to master in this life. If you’ve been hurt recently don’t react to that person with allegations. Talk about what they’ve said and done has hurt your feelings even if it wasn’t their intent. Most importantly, have these conversations in person and not over messages. You can’t hear tones on how they are talking.

Keep your head and confidence high when you get broken from others. You are you, and there’s a reason you are breathing. No matter the struggle. No matter the set back. No matter how much hate you feel. There is a bright side, it’s just harder to find. Don’t let the anger consume you, or you’ll never find the brightness to your life. -A