[lorata]

do you happen to have a link for the cashmere/dexter piece you mentioned? thank you <3

here!

it's mostly a cashmere piece but there's a bit with her and dexter that i really like

also uhhhh the usual d1 warnings for mentions of forced prostitution, as well as self-harm, suicidal ideation and retaliatory violence

[lorata]

Do you have a face claim for Alec's dad I have had a meme come upon me in a vision and I want to share

I DON'T REALLY to me he's mostly the brown male embodiment of the :| emoji so go nuts!!

[literallyjustanyurlatthispoint]

Okay I understand that this is for meme material and this man is NOT very meme-able but I wanted to say the closest face claim I have ever found for a (younger) Joseph is Sendhil Ramamurthy. From previous descriptions of dark curly hair cut short, defined bone structure, brown skin, dark eyes, over 6 feet, "rugged" handsome, etc. AND specifically from the ask were you said both Creed and young Joseph kind of gave Darkling vibes when in Career mode.

Then I saw THIS photos which kind of gave that Darkling vibe (lololol hilarious description for Creed or Joseph):

So I looked more and I think he is probably my own closest personal face-claim? I don't picture them as identical in my head but he is the base I use that I build my mental Joseph off of.

[lorata]

Thinking about if Petra ever got to mentor and if she choose a bigger boy, and somehow came to the conclusion that one of her kids would be the image of a golden retriever very interested in everything Petra does the first month out

oh my gosh what an image. it might have to be giant golden retriever jock girl just because i cannot imagine petra choosing a boy (at least her first time out) but who knows! who knows. cracking me up tho

honestly petra mentoring is such a never-happens au for me that i legit have no idea what she'd even look for. no clue!! even without the trauma she's so adult-oriented that imagining her interacting with anyone younger is bizarre.

(i think one of the main reasons it's hard is that it requires an au where the rebellion REALLY fails, bc petra would need like ... 5 years, at least, before she's ready to do it, and that means the games have to keep going, and i'm like, eeeeehhh......... lol)

BUT I GOT DISTRACTED it doesn't need to be a strict tribute thing, in some au somewhere there should be a golden retriever style thing that she is baffled by bc it would be very funny, and dash would never let it go

[literallyjustanyurlatthispoint]

[lorata]

Have you watched the new Avatar movies? Because I cannot shake how many similarities I find between them and the Sewards. Spoilers alert ahead!

A) Joseph and Jake (MC) have both lived their lives in a violent, brutal world and it has left them TERRIFIED of losing their sons. Specifically terrified that they will disobey an order and it will get them killed. Sadly, the way they handle this is very harmful to their sons. Jake is not an abusive dad like Joseph, but he does drive them both extremely hard and you can see how badly it impacts them both, especially his younger son (Lo’ak) who cannot live up to his expectations like his older brother (Neteyam). He literally has those boys calling him “sir” more than “dad” and you can see the toll it takes on Lo’ak. It reminds me of a less extreme Joseph in many ways.

B) The sons are extremely close and the eldest brothers are very devoted to their youngest. Neteyam however, is the golden son who Lo’ak can never seem live up to and this does cause some resentment between them at times, much like Creed and Alec

B.2) Neteyam and Creed are the same character. Full stop. Equally noble, equally devoted, equally self sacrificing, and equally DOOMED by the narrative.

C) Their worst fears DO come true. They both lose their eldest son (and golden child) to the violence they were desperate to save them from. Neither of them cope well and both fathers take it out on their younger son in *devastating* ways. Both Lo’ak and Alec are also left shattered by their own grief.

D) Neytiri, Neteyam’s mother and Jake’s wife grieves heavily and is consumed by fury. She becomes even more warlike and bitter, falling back into her warrior headspace to hit back and the people who took her eldest son. This reminds me strikingly of Adora’s grief and how much more hardened and unwilling to surrender she is shown to be after the rebellion.

E) Honestly, Neytiri in general just reads to me as Adora but…blue. They are the same woman in different universes and you cannot convince me otherwise. From the first movie when she is a young woman and seems so much like how you described a young adult Adora right through to the final as a grieving mother at war, they are so similar. Her marriage with Jake and their utter devotion/loyalty also reminds me of Joseph + Adora. Also both objectively more terrifying than their husbands and absolutely run their shit.

Anyways, that was the nerdiest rant of all time but I was curious if you’d watched the movies/found the same!

i saw the first one when it came out! everyone around me was getting high in theatres and declaring it a Transcendental Experience, and i decided that was enough for me. unless james cameron wishes to pay me 5 million in small bills for emotional damages, that is

HOWEVER this is great because now the blue man movies are actually a seward AU to me and nothing else, so thank you for this

(i sound flippant which i am not trying to be (creed voice: i was being sincere!) because you have done FANTASTIC metatextual analysis and i genuinely enjoy this ask very much)

[literallyjustanyurlatthispoint]

This was an oopsie anon ask (sorry!) but a @lorata , I am back on my bullshit. Huge warning for spoilers and TW for su*cidal ideation:

There is a blowout argument between youngest son and father in both these stories with serious consequences that is such a painful mirror of each other.

Starting off as a relatively small disagreement (Lo’ak speaking out of turn at a council, Alec quitting the academy). Both fathers and sons are NOT in a good headspace. In part because they are both still reeling from the recent death of their sons/brothers. And because dads are internally freaking out that their youngest boy, their last boy is Disobeying Orders Again and is going to Get Himself Killed Too while their sons are just desperate to make their dad *understand* them for once.

This makes argument escalate out of control until the fathers slip up and say something truly horrible that they can’t take back. In Jospeh’s case, he reacts negatively to Alec coming out (despite the fact that he normally would not care) and tells him his lies make him no real Seward. In Jake’s, he shouts that he blames Lo’ak for his brother’s death. Both sons leave in tears.

You can see Jake immediately regret his words and fight the urge to call out an apology or go after him, and it seems to me that Joseph pretty quickly realizes what he’s done and wishes to take the words back too. But the damage is done and neither of them actually DO follow their sons. Alec cuts them off and remains estranged either for years or forever, depending on the AU. Lo’ak steals his father’s gun and plans to commit su*cide, though he ultimately chooses not go through with the impulse and is quickly caught by his sister. Both fathers lose or almost lose their last boy anyways, one way or another. And they are the ones who did it.

Jake and Lo’ak make up weeks later by the end of the film. Whether Alec and Joseph ever make amends? Depends on the world they’re in.

[lorata]

Part 2 of Incorrect Quotes Dump from before:

Selene: *On the phone* Hey Mom, do you know my blood type?

Julia: Of course, it's B-.

Selene: Oh, I guessed wrong. Excuse me, nurse-!

*Callista, after seeing a photo of Joseph and Adora in their ~prime *

Calli: Would you mind if I invited your parents over to my house for a ~private meeting~ with me?

Creed & Alec, horrified: On many levels and with great intensity.

Misha, handing out tea: Here you go. I put *some* vodka in one, whoever finds it gets a prize.

Brutus, Lyme, and Emory: ...

Devon: Don't worry, she's just messing with you.

Devon, after taking a sip of his tea and going into a coughing fit: Oh, nope, she was serious. Guess I win!

*Thinking about Adessa and Beetee*

Misha:*lying awake in bed* Is letting someone win at chess sapiosexual bottoming?

Devon: *trying to sleep* Does anyone in this godforsaken village ever think before they speak?

Selene: Name a more iconic trio than my crippling fear of abandonment, Creed’s severe PTSD, and Alec’s constant, overwhelming anxiety. I'll wait.

Alec: You … you could have just said the three of us…

Adessa: God, give me patience.

Callista: I think you mean 'give me strength'.

Adessa If God gave me strength, you'd be dead.

Devon: In my defense, I was left unsupervised.

Brutus: Wasn't Misha with you?

Misha: …In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.

Adora: yeah I'm an morosexual, I'm only attracted to dumbasses

Joseph: *Drops books, ruins beans, uses himself as bait, makes horrible dad jokes, can’t flirt to save his life*

Adora,(already unbuttoning her shirt): Dammit Joe, you're so fucking stupid

Lyme: You say "please" and "thank you" in front of your bb victors all the time and they never repeat it.

Lyme: But you say "ass-faced motherfucker" ONCE-

Ronan: One bonus of being an Adult is grossly misusing modern slang on purpose and watching the younger ones cry inside.

Ronan: A fine example - the other day I pointed at a piece of artwork and, while looking Claudius right in the eye, went, "Man is that bae or what, huh?" and the look on his face was something I will treasure for years

Emory: What are your goals in life?

Devon: Well we’ve been kicked out of every elder victor’s house at least once, except Nero’s...

Misha: We don’t know what his limit is but we will find it.

Emory: Would you slap a family member in the face for two million dollars?

Devon: I would roundhouse kick every single one of my brothers in the face for free.

Cato: ‘I’m too pretty for this’ is a very valid excuse actually.

*after pissing off Adessa*

Devon: So, our plan is to live the rest of our lives being scared of Adessa?

Misha: *scoffs* Well, that’s not the only plan

Devon:

Misha: Someday I’d like to plant a vegetable garden!

Lyme: It takes 26 muscles to smile and 62 to frown and thats why my face is fucking ripped and it will kick your ass

Sloane: Dash doesn't know I'm here so he's singing loudly in the shower, and it's cute.

Sloane: He sucks. But it's cute.

Callista: You know what they say: go big or go home!

Nero: I'm begging you, Calli, for once in your life, PLEASE go home

Callista: *whispering* I'm going big

Electra, on the phone with Lyme: he’s in the kitchen again…

Claudius, reading a recipe: “beat three eggs.” In what? Hand to hand combat?

Electra: GET. HIM. OUT.

Victor!Creed: [sneezes]

Scout!Selene, on guard duty and watching him from behind a wall: bless you

Creed: … God?

Lyme: We call that a traumatic event

Lyme, turning to Claudius: Not a "bruh moment"

Lyme, turning to Sloane: Not a "major L"

Lyme, turning to Misha: And definitely not an "OOF lmao"

Brutus: We need to distract the Threes

Claudius: Leave it to me

Claudius: Hey Eib, you know those old mythology books we read? Centaurs have six limbs. Does that mean they’re insects? Discuss.

Eibhlin and Beetee: *Immediately begin arguing*

Brutus, watching in horror: Oh this. I don't like this. I don't like this at all.

[This is from veryberryghoul]

Beetee, worried: Eibhlin is upset and I can’t get her to leave her room.

Claudius: Just tell her I said something.

Beetee: ..Such as?

Claudius: IDK just anything factually incorrect.

Eibhlin, 15 seconds later, kicking the door down: YOU THINK THE SUN IS A FUCKING  P L A N E T ????

2012 me: inventing Claudius as a random side character who annoys Loki in the Avenger Games spin-off

2022 me: hey so you're not gonna believe this

[lorata]

Because I am invested, these are some suggested hijinks for the most Chaotic Neutral loop team, Julia and Joseph...

-In the younger AU, Julia locks Joseph + Adora in an equiptment storage room. Joseph almost pistol whips her when he gets out.

-In revenge, he steals her phone and texts Paul (who she either just started seeing or is still getting to know) "I want a baby" like that trend a few years back (PLS do yourself a favour and look it up if you don't know it). You can decide which of the viral responses Paul answers with.

-With kids, Joseph does find a bunch of horses somehow and just...only travels via equine all day for no reason with the kids in tow. Selene keeps secretly undoing the girths on both Creed and Alec's saddles. Paul gets a large donkey and I refuse to elaborate on this.

-Julia gets Joseph REALLLL drunk and there is karyoke involved. They duet a bunch of Disney songs and Joseph knows an alarming amount of "Oops I Did it Again" by heart

-Does Julia get bored in the interim and decide to paint Joseph's nails? Yes. Does he complain the whole time before ending up with the sparkly red and black polish? Also yes. He figures it'll be gone tommorow so what's the big deal? (The ONE thing that breaks the laws of this loop is that it does not, in fact, go away the next day so the rest of the story he just...has that going on and everyone refuses to acknowledge it.

-Julia gives Joseph and Adora a ship name (Josadora??? Adoseph???) and refers to the fair as such in front of absolutely everybody and this time they BOTH almost pistol whip her. But she makes it her life's MISSION to get them to kiss at least once

-Alec and Creed are FRANTICALLY panem-googling drugs that someone could have slipped their dad while he wasn't looking. Selene IS their #1 suspect for a long time

-Julia does steal the Sewards home phone and openly solicits Callista (haha you thought you escaped that other Cursed AU? Think again). He does not find out until Callista arrived at their house in full ✨gear✨ with a trunk of ✨equiptment✨. I cannot decide if it's funnier if Joseph opens the door and has a heart attack or if Creed and Alec open it and SCREECH LIKE A BANSHEE MUTT.

yes yes yes yes excellent we have a top tier writer’s room at this here the D2 network

[lorata]

New absolutely feral concept: D2 halloween heist Brooklyn 99-style

I can't decide if I prefer this being an annual victor's village thing in which everyone gets wayyyyy too elaborate, though admittedly much more violent than in B99 (Ronan and Adessa are tied for most wins and they both insist they are in the lead). Callista and Nero have trained her cats to assist much like Holt's corgi, Cheddar. Ronan tried this with his hounds one year only to find they are too easily bought out by treats (Devon had been bribing them with cheesy bites).

Alternatively, it's with the peacekeepers like with B99's police precinct which introduces:

A) Scout!Selene being a danger to society

B) Joseph Vs Adora Vs Paul Vs Julia showdowns that gets very out of hand very quickly (Julia is there for vibes)

C) Both of these couples pulling a "for today you are not my partner you are my worst enemy and I'll feed you to our kids (k love you bye)"

C) Alec and Creed getting roped into someone's scheme every year and all the others going on about The Betrayal By Their son/nephew/bestfriend/etc

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

this is a hysterical concept, 100% endorsed, no notes

[lorata]

I may or may not have made an incorrect quote page for your THG universe...

Some of these involve characters that were never in the same universe interacting and often isn't true to canon. It's really just based on The Vibes I get from them.

These were originally just for me, so I unfortunately didn't record the source books/shows/posts they are from.

Of course, no pressure to post this if that's not your thing! Just a thing I made for you/your friends who write in this universe.

Eibhlin: So, Marius is going out of town this weekend and wanted to know if we could take care of his baby.

Claudius: Whoa, whoa, whoa! That is a big responsibility. What do we know about children?

Alec: I'm leaving now.

Claudius, passing Alec his bag: I swear you'd lose your head if it wasn't screwed on.

Claudius, to Eibhlin: I don't know the first thing about taking care of a child.

Claudius: Where's your jacket? It's cold outside.

Selene: Lost it.

Claudius: Here, take mine.

Claudius, to Eiblin: Kids are a lot of work.

----------------------------------------------------------

Brin:Are you a cuddler?

Nero: I’ve killed multiple people. I’m known for being a machine of death and darkness.

Brin:

Nero: God yes, please hold me.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Alec: Wait, how did you know I was going to propose?

Jake: Creed hasn’t been able to look at me without crying for a month

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Marius: I like this whole “good cop, bad cop” act you have going on

Selene: It’s not an act, it’s just I’m mean and Dash isn’t.

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Nero & Callista sitting together in jail*

Calli: So who should we call to bail us out?

Nero: I’d say Adessa, but I honestly feel safer in jail.

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Selene: Crying is really annoying, you know

*Alec sniffles*

Selene, sighing: Okay, who do I need to beat the shit out of?

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

*Eibhlin intimidating someone/blowing things up*

Everyone: She’s so scary wtf

Claudius: Yeah, but like she’s so pretty-

(I find it both hilarious and very on-brand that most of the times Claudius stops to admire/study Eibhlin, it’s when she’s being Scary Eib™)

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Lyme: What if they start shooting? How am I supposed to run in a dress?

Brutus: Holy shit! What kind of dinner parties have you been to?

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Eibhlin: Claudius, I’m so happy I could kiss you!

Claudius: *nervous laughter* uh.... neat!

Later...

Claudius, laying face down on his bed: I can’t believe I said ‘neat’, Lex! ‘Neat’! No one says ‘neat’ anymore! It isn’t neat to say ‘neat’ and I said it anyway because I’m a huge loser!

Electra: Don’t beat yourself up, D. Everyone gets nervous sometimes. Remember what happened when Rigel confessed to me?

Claudius: Didn’t you, like, thank him?

Electra:

Electra, staring off into the distance: I thanked him.

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Sloane: *tries to create a sense of calm by lighting incense only to find out that the sticks were actually sparklers*

Sloane: This is painfully on-brand, actually.

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“I am death itself. I am the bringer of death, Cato stop laughing, my soul is as dark as the night’s sky- Cato I swear to God.” -Clove,probably

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Alec: Hey I heard you like bad boys.

Jake: Not really.

Alec: Oh thank god.

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Creed: Selene is my best friend, and if I love her, it’s the way I would love a sister.

Alec: I‘m your brother, and if you looked at me the way you look at Selene, I would have to speak with our parents.

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Brutus: Claudius! Enobaria and Eibhlin are fighting!

Claudius: Don't look at me! They both terrify me, I'll be cut down!

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Nero, texting: you will machete through this

Nero: **make it

Nero: Fuck pls don't machete your way through this

Enobaria OR Callista, your pick: too late

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Person on the phone: Am I speaking to the head of the household?

Joseph, passing the phone to Adora: It's for you.

----------------------------------------------------------------

Eibhlin, jokingly: I should have Claudius kill you for that.

Claudius, peering around the corner: Who do I need to kill?

Eibhlin: Wh- no, I meant that in jest.

Claudius, pulling out a switchblade: No, who's bothering you?

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Claudius: Making my way downtown

Claudius: Walking fast

Claudius: ...

Claudius: Walking slower so Eib can keep up.

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“It has been a true pleasure to watch your distractingly childish friendship evolve into a distractingly childish courtship, and now into what I’m sure will be a distractingly childish marriage.”

-Ronan at Devon & Misha’s wedding

(I know Misha doesn’t actually want to get married, but this is all about the VIBES)

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“I would say get a room but yours is the same as mine, please try to remember that.” ~Alec to Creed & Selene (Victor!Creed AU)

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Nero: You know, you can solve your problems without violence.

Lyme: OK, but consider I’m really, really good at violence

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Capitol News, throwing open door: You two ARE having sex!

Lyme: Really? Brutus, why didn’t you tell me? I would have put my book down.

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Julia: Paul just texted me “I feel like you deserve the moon but all I can give you is a rock”

Joseph: If you don’t marry him, I will

(Sorry, the concept of the Joseph/Paul bromance is tooo funny to me)

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Petra: You don’t think I can fight. Because I'm a girl.

Brutus: I don’t think you can fight because you’re wearing a massive wedding dress. For what it’s worth, I don’t think Devon could fight in that dress either.

Devon: Maybe not. But I would make a radiant bride.

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There is a master key and a spare key for the village. Adessa has them both. When I asked, “What if you die? How will we get in the gates?”...She said, “If I’m dead, you all have been dead for weeks.”  -Nero, probably

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Someone: Hey what's your type?

Devon/Nero/Creed/Dash: Murderers, apparently.

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Misha: Brutus, tell Devon that he's an idiot but I still love him.

Brutus:Tell him yourself.

Misha: We're in a fight.

Brutus: You're sitting in his lap??

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Electra: So umm... I'm having problems with a guy...

Claudius: Like his dead body won't fit in a bag kind of problems? Or you like him, kind of problems?

Electra: ...The second one.

Claudius: Oh, that’s too bad. I could have helped you with the first one.

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Snow:Anything you say in the next 30 seconds is free…starting right now.

Ronan: I think you’re cocky. Arrogant. Bossy and pushy. You also have a god complex and don’t think of anyone but your damn self.

Snow: But I—

Ronan: But what? I still have 22 seconds and I am not done.

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Selene:(slams open the door) THE BABY IS COMING!!!!!!!

Julia:(immediately jumps up) What baby?!

Creed:(rushes into the room behind Selene, carrying Alec in his arms)

Creed: Alec! Alec is the baby! Today’s his birthday!

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Rigel: Tell me about the victors.

Ronan: Flint and Iris. They never show up in text. They’re...pretty much useless. But they make good coffee.

Rigel: Copy that.

Ronan: Now the good ones. Adessa is tough, smart, hard to read, and scary as hell.

[Flashback]

Adessa: Tell me who has me for Secret Santa.

Devon: No! That takes all the fun out of it.

[Adessa glares daggers at him.]

Devon: It’s Odin. He got you a scarf. It’s blue and ugly. I’ll make him return it.

Ronan: Brutus. He’s a grinder. Not our most brilliant victor, but he works harder than anyone else. He’s not the most physically… ...coordinated.

[Flashback, Brutus unwraps a muffin, then drops it on the ground.]

Brutus: Awww man! My muffin!

[As he picks it up, he smacks his head on a desk that’s too short for him.]

Brutus: Ow! My head! My muffin and my head!

Ronan: Petra. She gets underestimated because of her looks, so she’s always trying to prove she’s tough.

[Flashback, Petra puts hot sauce on her sandwich. She looks up to see Claudius watching her.]

Petra: You think I can’t handle this much hot sauce? I can handle way more than this. [She empties the hot sauce on her sandwich and takes a bite.]

Petra:(in agony) In... your... face.

Claudius: ...I didn’t say anything?

Rigel: Tell me about Artemisia and Devon.

Ronan: Oh, those two. Some of our most talented victors-- he likes grassroots projects and she loves feeding the press. The only puzzle they haven’t solved... is how to grow up.

Rigel: That’s very well put.

Ronan: I’ve talked a lot about those two in my mandated therapy sessions.

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Creed:Oh no, she's hot.

Selene:Oh no, he's hot.

Alec: Oh no.

(Poor Alec suffering™ when they reconnect in the Victor!Creed AU)

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Dash:[Puts his feet on the table] I heard you liked bad boys.

Selene:No?

Dash: [Takes his feet off the table] Good, that felt horrible.

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Creed or Alec: You bit me!

Selene: Biting's excellent! It's like kissing. Only there's a winner.

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Brutus: You don’t know how to kill this thing!

Lyme: I thought I might try violence.

Misha: Solid call.

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Skylar:[Trying to catch grapes in his mouth] Lyme, what would you give me if I got this grape in your cleavage?

Lyme: A concussion.

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Devon: You didn’t have a happy childhood :( ?

Misha:My favourite toy was a knife. You finish the puzzle.

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bb Misha: On a scale of one to ten how much trouble am I in?

Peacekeeper: Eight.

bb Misha: Oh, I can do better than that.

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Everyone: Happy birthday Brutus!!!

Brutus: Aw thanks guys

. . .

Brutus: Wait, is that it? No punchline? No joke? No announcement of doom-

Devon: Misha accidentally set your yard on fire

Brutus: There it is.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Devon: Will you marry me?

Misha: Wow, uh, be right back.

Misha: *sprints away*

Misha:*texting Lyme* Come pick me up, kids are drinking alcohol.

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Selene: I’m going to make a deal with you.

Kit: What kinda deal?

Selene: I’ll let you play with my sword if you promise not to tell our parents I gave you twelve cookies and said fuck four...five times.

Kit: I’ll take that offer. Plus interest. I also get to play with the knife.

Selene: Fine. Deal.

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Nero: Violence doesn’t solve everything.

Lyme: That’s because you're not hitting hard enough.

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“Creed wants to be a victor when he grows up to protect and honour his district and country. Alec wants to become a doctor so he can help sick kids. Our last child, Selene, wants to be a porcupine so she can stab people with her butt.” ~The Sewards & Valents

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Eibhlin, breaking down Brutus’s door at 3am: I have a.. stop screaming it’s me. I have a new update for the electrical grid .

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“I’m very sorry I hurt your feelings by calling you stupid. I honestly thought you knew.” -Adessa

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Lyme: Did you really have to stab him?

Misha: You weren't there. You didn't hear what he said to me.

Lyme: What did he say?

Misha: What are you gonna do, stab me?

Lyme: ...that's fair.

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Enobaria: Is it still murder if I give them a heads up?

Nero: I think that's called a threat.

Snow: Something you'd like to say, dear?

Adessa: Oh, there are several things I would like to say-

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Misha: You know what? Fuck you! Unshrinky your dinks.

Devon: No! My dinks!

Brutus: What the hell is your generation on?

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Jake, texting Sara:IM RREALLY DRUNK AND I MESSED UP SOME HOT GUY WALKED INTO THE PARTY AND I YELLED DIBS

Alec, texting Selene: LENE I CAME THROUGH THE DOOR AT THE PARTY AND A GUY YELLED DIBS

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Brutus: I would never say this to Lyme’s face...

Brutus: ...but I consider her my closest friend and I treasure her presence.

Emory and Devon, horrified: Why... why wouldn’t you say that to her face????

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*In the Capitol during District Upsidedown*

Petra: You said things couldn't get worse!

Ronan: Yes, well...apparently I'm not imaginative enough.

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Trainer: What the hell happened?

Jason(with a black eye): Selene threw a shoe at my face!

Trainer: Lachlan is that true?

Lachlan: Kind of? Jason was making fun of my shoes and Selene thought he couldn’t see them clearly so she gave him a closer look.

Selene (leaning back on her chair, bored): Yep, sure did. And I’d do it again.

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Devon: Truth or dare?

Misha: Dare

Devon: I dare you to kiss the prettiest girl in this room.

Devon: Just note, I charitably said “girl” because let’s be honest, I’d smoke all of you.

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Lyme: Now, remember to act surprised by the audience.

Claudius: How does that mean anything when I was forced to go?

Lyme: What did I say about pointing out the meaninglessness of everything?

Claudius: ... Not to.

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Devon: One time Callista came over here. All she did was lie seductively over the piano and feed herself grapes. I don’t really understand that woman, but I admire her lifestyle.

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[After Lyme gets shot]

Brutus: What’s your status?!

Lyme: My status, Brutus, is extremely annoyed.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Misha: Claudius/Brutus, I think you should play the role of my father.

Brutus: I don’t want to be your father.

Misha: That’s perfect. You already know your lines.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Julia: What are you? Two?

Paul: Yeah, two heads taller than you

Julia: *deep breath*

*5 minutes later*

Julia: OPEN THE DAMN DOOR, YOU COWARD!

Paul: I WAS JUST JOKING!

---------------------------------------------------------------------

*Creed, Alec, and Selene against an enemy*

Creed: We are going to defeat you with the power of friendship!

Selene: And this knife I found!

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Misha:*pitches an idea*

Devon, impressed: Huh, there might be something here!

Brutus, horrified: Yeah, a lawsuit.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Callista: I’d like to offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Marius: Rigel can't go because he's injured.

Rigel: I'm not injured, I was lightly stabbed.

Marius: I'm sorry, you were STABBED?!

Rigel: Lightly stabbed.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Misha’s mother: You know you missed your father's funeral... by two years.

Misha: Well, last time I talked to him he said, "I'll see you in hell, girl" so I figured we had something on the books.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Alec, to someone giving him crap for being a “soft” doctor: I’m an ex-career doctor. Which means I can break every bone in your body while naming them.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

*Claudius & Eibhilin sitting together in jail*

Claudius: So who should we call to bail us out?

Eibhlin: I’d say Beetee, but I honestly feel safer in jail.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

There is a master key and a spare key for our homes. Adora and Julia have them both. When we asked, “What if you die? How will we get into the house?”....They said, “If we’re dead, you both have been dead for weeks.”  -Joseph and Paul, probably

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Finnick: Why would you give a knife to a child???

Claudius: Noah felt unsafe

Annie: Now we feel unsafe!

Claudius: I'm sorry

Claudius: Would you like a knife?

q;ASLDKFJ;ASLKDJF;LSKADJF;LSAKDJF;L KJAS;DFL KJA;SDLKF

THIS IS THE FUNNIEST THING HOLY BANANAS

I started reading this on my phone but I had to stop bc I was cackling on the sidewalk

THANK YOU FOR SHARING PLEASE ALWAYS SHARE

this goes for everyone, please always share memes nothing is EVER too niche on this blog

[lorata]

Dexter & Callista, 57

for @transrevolutions on your natal day, here is uhhh some ... dark ....... conversations about death and mentoring, anger and violence and tributes who don't usually get a lot of attention? (skye & jasper)

SORRY I TRIED TO WRITE CREED but this happened instead

warnings for: canon-typical violence (arena and otherwise), mentions of offscreen victor prostitution

------------------------

Skye crumples to the ground, his chest a bloody ruin, and Two’s newest mentor brings home her first victor without even trying. Dexter had played nice with her because why not, kid had been terrified and heartsick like all of them their first time in the ring and soon she’d know the ugly stench of loss like everyone else, that sick little bonding ritual that brought them all together. Joke’s on him, though, looks like she didn’t need his condescension.

“Good game,” Dexter grinds out dully as he pushes himself to his feet, mostly because Phillips made such a fucking scene about it when his died and it feels like there’s a point to prove somewhere. Not that anybody notices, it’s endgame now so there are morgues to visit and families to call and consolation speeches to choke out for the losers. Starting tonight, sponsors will be looking to cash in their failed investments, but he can’t — not right now, not yet.

For the winners — well, Dexter wouldn’t know. He’s never brought one back alive.

The corridors bustle with activity, Avoxes and runners hustling and upstart nepotism-gifted junior Gamemakers barking out orders to make themselves feel important with their bosses busy upstairs. Someone slams hard into Dexter, knocking him fully sideways, but he keeps walking, ignoring the babbled apology.

Cannot go to the One floor, with its perfumed showers and apologetic escort and list of assignments likely already waiting. Not the mentor common floor, either, with the pity-party raging and where they will not welcome the almost-rans who murdered all the early losers. The roof, then — not the penthouse garden above the tribute apartments, home of District 12’s fresh meat, but like much of the Capitol there’s the glitzy, glittery parts for show and then there’s everything else. A few slipped pills to an Avox and Dexter’s in an access elevator to a square of rooftop nestled halfway up the complex between two spires.

He expects the gritty concrete and traffic grime, the blare of distant celebrations and occasional blaze of a travelling strobe light; he does not expect a goddess in athleisure with her feet propped up against the wall, smoking a noxious-smelling cigarette. “New girl won,” Dexter says, to give himself some time.

Callista exhales a long plume of smoke. After waiting a while for her reply, Dexter decides that must be it and lowers himself down across from her. “You know those things will kill you,” he says, out of some stupid compulsion. He can’t look at carbohydrates without feeling an itch to stuff his fingers down his throat and the only euphoria he’s ever experienced came in tablet form passed via Callista’s tongue, but his minders would have whipped him for that.

“I,” Callista says with grave reverence, “am microdosing on mortality.”

“What, all this isn’t enough for you?” He waves an arm behind them, where a condominium complex has projected the faces of all the tributes. As he watches, Skye and Camphor switch from full colour to black and white.

But at the same time, he knows what she means. They don’t make a drug mean enough for what he wants, they don’t make drugs that fill your lungs with tar and ash, that scrape your throat and make you rasp and cough. He failed, again. A beautiful, hopeful, stupid, cocky child has died, again. Sparkly club drugs and golden thrumming in his veins won’t help him now.

Callista hands it over. Dexter inhales deep — oh, big mistake, his lungs immediately protest — he chokes, spluttering, passes the cigarette back as his head spins and his stomach turns over. He closes his eyes and rests his head against the wall. “We were so close. So close.”

She hums. “You had a sweet one this year. How would he have fared, your boy? When they got their claws in him.”

Skye — was sweet, for One. He and Camphor had made themselves a killer pair. They’d known how to work it, too, rinsing each other off by the lake, curling up at night, teasing the audience without ever taking real advantage of each other. If it had been the two of them in the end, Dexter has no doubts they would have fought it out without hard feelings, true professionals, no hidden barbs and buried hatred coming out to play.

And when he won, it would be Dexter’s job to remind him of the cost. To sit him down, give him the list of names, and tell him exactly how they liked it, exactly as his mentor had done with him.

Anger flares, better than any drug. Dexter clings to it even as it slips through his fingers, like blood-slick intestine. “Is this you trying to make me feel better? Better he’s dead than have to suffer my life?”

Calista stares at him, incomprehending, and he could do it now, could throw himself at her and wrap his arms around her throat, bash his fists into her skull and leave her face a bloody pulp, shove her over the edge and let the sidewalk take her, every single awful, ugly urge that bubbles up when he’s on his knees but he isn’t in some plush bedroom now, is he, and she has no power over him —

“I apologize,” Callista says, and Dexter nearly screams no, don’t, I need to feel this, don’t you say you’re sorry to me but it’s too late, it all deflates. “I am furious. I want to kill. I want to feel the blood again, I want to hurt — I want to hurt.” She says it one more time, reverent, like a litany. “I wanted to hurt.”

“How can you say it like that.” Dexter almost laughs, except it’s not funny, he just — can’t make the pieces fit together. “You say these things and you’re just … sitting there, smoking. You sound like you’re ordering caviar at dinner.”

“This is how I always sound.” Callista bares her teeth in a smile that sets his skin crawling. “Ladies do not raise their voice. Ladies are elegant. Ladies —“

“Kill the guy they’re having sex with on live television and scar impressionable young boys? Come on.”

Callista huffs a sound somewhere between a snort and a snicker. “Not all of them, clearly.”

Everything is fucked, Dexter thinks, Skye should be alive and he should not be in a complicated mutilation-and-orgasms situationship with a rival mentor, but here they are. “That was still a shitty thing to say.”

Out in the streets the victory fanfare plays on tinny loop from a dessert truck. Callista closes her eyes. “I thought the Arena would make it stop,” she says. “I want to hurt — everything, everyone, all the time. I practice control with things that matter but give me an excuse and I will tear your throat out. You were wounded and I knew I could hurt you. You may take a free shot, if you’d like.”

Well, that gave him something to chew on when his brain isn’t stuffed with Skye’s death stare — Callista’s mouth on his, hand sliding between his legs, crammed into a back alley with an unconscious man’s blood pooling at their feet; the time he asked her to make him hurt and she took him close, but not quite, to using the safe word she’d taught him, and he’d cried in her arms in the comedown and they’d never talked about it, I practice control with things that matter what the fuck —

“Is that why you pick the villains?” Dexter blurted out instead, like he’s nineteen and suicidal all over again.

She exhaled through her nose. The cigarette had long burned out, and she glanced down at it, clicked her tongue, and flicked the butt away. “Never let me accuse you of being soft. Villains, really.”

“You have to know.” This year especially, Dexter has a steel stomach and even he didn’t relish those hours of watching Callista’s boy fillet the little one from Twelve. They’d all been grateful when Four took care of it. “Outliers are the underdog or the dark horse, but we’re either a hero or, well.”

Dexter, more fool him, usually went for heroes, despite the hell that waited for them. District 1 had enough angry mentors who went for the nasty ones, he could afford to try. In the end they all bled out the same.

“I hate that word.” Callista clips the words with icy precision. “They are children. Children who give the audience exactly what they want, a bloodbath. Children with no artifice, children who cannot pretty up their kills with talk of loyalty or pride or wanting to see their precious little homesteads again. The people drink up the spectacle each year and demand more, bigger, flashier. These Games teach us it is our nature to do whatever it takes to survive. My children are villains because they don’t come with equal amounts of remorse to make it palatable.”

“Sure, but this one tortured a kid,” Dexter says. Sometimes Twos really are a whole other level. “Don’t you think you’d have it easier if you picked kids who … didn’t do that? As soon as he started skinning you know they would have offed him, whether the Pack did him in or not.”

Now Callista’s eyes blaze, and for a second he thinks she’ll actually hurt him, not just throw bladed words, but the only thing that escapes her is a low hiss. “So he died regardless, knowing that he made me proud. He deserves that much. His time of glory and a mentor who loves him, even only for a month. They all deserve that. I am not in this for the safe sells, obedient little quarry sons and daughters with patriotic sponsors lined up out the door. Anyone can love those. I am here for the ones nobody else will.”

In spite of himself, Dexter’s throat feels thick. Did his mentor talk to anyone like that about him? Or does that kind of unfettered, passionate protectiveness burn out the first time you hand your victor off to the pawing crowd? He feels ancient and naked at the same time. “Well,” he says, uselessly, “here’s to dead kids who deserve better.”

Callista presses the toe of her shoe against his calf and lets her eyes fall shut. They stay outside, awake but silent, until nightfall.

[literallyjustanyurlatthispoint]

The dynamic of all time

[literallyjustanyurlatthispoint]

What if I wept? She could not have done a better job verbalizing exactly why Monty is so dear to me. And this coming so gently from Van?

[literallyjustanyurlatthispoint]

Em/Murph playing together is great

(He will never know peace and he’s happy about it)

[literallyjustanyurlatthispoint]

I don't think enough people are talking about how cool Liv and Dang's dynamic is. It's such a mutually respectful relationship that doesn't get enough attention. The reflection of their interactions at the dog club fight and today's episode in the rainforest is getting to me.

I knew I was going to have a great time with this interplay as soon as Dang turned to her at the dog club entryway with that playful "you wanna do this the fun way?" and she immediately, happily agreed to go along with his plan (and to trust him on it).

That moment where she stops in the middle of the fight and shows him the first genuine respect he's gotten from the team, telling him "I'll respect you no matter what you decide" even if that meant him needing to leave while Kingskin's still facing their enemies. In this moment, she's also giving him what she desperately needs from others, the freedom to make a choice without placing expectations on him.

And now with the most recent episode, when Liv finally snaps, makes a "selfish" choice for herself, and runs. Dang is the only one who does not try to stop her because he believes she has a genuine point. Here, he's the one to respect her decision and give her space willingly, even though it might put him in a bad spot. In that moment, he's gives that back to her, the freedom to choose with respect. “No. I'm not gonna fuck with it" was such a great choice by Jacob.

[luisonte]

....but.... why?

[thewisemankey]

To quote Cave Johnson: "Science isn't about why, it's about WHY NOT!"

[vlanderzine]

I want a knife gun.

[vivcaprica]

For an updated Ides of March

[deceptive-owls]

The Ides of March: Reloaded

brutus is back and this time….. he doesn’t need the whole senate

[literallyjustanyurlatthispoint]

@lorata For your Ides of March post...Misha would see this and NEED one (will Eib help make it?)

[cloversworldsblog]

A View from the Victor's Lounge

For @lorata because I am completely obsessed with her District 2 multiverse and because the disparity between Victor Alec's experience and how the world might see him has been stuck in my head for years. Everything comes from her sandbox so probably won't make any sense to anyone who hasn't read that first.

Every outlier hates careers. 

It’s one of the things that binds every victor sitting in the lounge, watching with resignation and simmering rage as another one of Panem’s proudest psychopaths gets pulled out of the arena, hands still covered in the blood of eighteen children who didn’t choose to be there. 

Every outlier hates careers, but there are some they hate more than others and in that respect, everyone’s preferences are different. Whenever the topic comes up, as it inevitably does when Two takes the crown, there’s a debate over which type is worst. 

Callista is always a popular choice, especially among the Tens, who take her title as something of an insult to their district’s profession. 

‘They say she misses the blood,’ Angus will snarl into his seventh glass of some backwater moonshine he insists on bringing with him to the Capitol, ‘They’re all psychopaths but at least some of them leave that behind. She’d climb back into the arena tomorrow if it would give her the chance to torture another kid.’ 

‘At least she was born that way,’ Cora from Nine will counter; her own preference is drugs that make the world hazy but there’s a sharpness about her which never quite vanishes, a gleam in her eyes that makes Chaff sure she see the strings controlling them better than most, ‘It’s the ones that think it’s an honour or a duty that sicken me. They tell themselves they’re morally superior because they don’t enjoy it but really they’re worse than any of ones in it for the blood. Callista might be a true born psycho but she doesn’t think that everything she did was good or moral or forgivable just because she gave a clean kill to some twelve year old kid.’

(Cora had tried to attack Devon the first time he’d made some quip about how great tesserae was. Burt and Angus had had to drag her out of the Victor’s Lounge, frothing at the mouth and screaming threats she could never deliver on)

Chaff never participates in the debates; he’s never really cared whether they’re born that way or trained, not when they’re out there killing kids and laughing about it. Haymitch might get all philosophical, spouting all sorts of rubbish about them just being pawns in the game the Capitol plays but Chaff has never bought that. There’s always a choice and the careers, whether they were born wanting it or brainwashed into it, have never hesitated to make it. 

Chaff has always hated them all equally until the latest one raises his spear in triumph. For the first time since his own area, he feels the pull of that bitter hatred that allowed him to cross the line from boy to killer. 

He hates this one most; District Two’s newest murderer, who stepped onto the stage and announced to the world that he was thrilled to be following in his brother’s footsteps. Who watched his brother die an agonising death in the arena and still wanted to kill kids so much that even his brother’s death didn't make him pause. Who sat in his interview talking about honour and his brother’s spirit cheering him on as though any of it was something to be proud of. 

Chaff watches him get bundled into the hovercraft and the rage builds up inside him, just like it did in the area except this time there’s nothing he can do about it. He reaches for Teff’s bottle of rotgut and takes a long swig.

‘His daddy must be proud,’ he sneers, ‘Only took two sons to get them the victor they wanted.’ 

‘A family like that,’ Teff scoffs, ‘They’re probably gutted he didn’t follow in his brother’s footsteps and die for his country like a good little loyalist should. It’s the greatest honour after all,’ he raises his glass in a mock toast. 

Diana lets out a bitter laugh but Chaff doesn’t join in. He drinks and drinks and his anger stays at the surface, where it’s sat ever since last year’s victor gave that interview about playing tributes in the woods and dreaming of when they’d be able to live out those fantasies for real. 

‘Looks like he’s gonna sacrifice something,’ Angus slurs, as the feed switches over to footage from the Hospital, ‘No way they’re gonna keep the arm if it’s not better by interview. It’ll be just like it was with you.’ 

‘It’s nothing like me,’ says Chaff, his lips twisting into something ugly, ‘He’s a career; he deserves it.’ 

[lorata]

OOF OOF OOF BIG MOTHER OF OOFS

nooooooooooooo oh noooooooo

it's SO true though from the outside Victor Alec looks absolutely bugnuts balls to the wall deep in the koolaid, like hoooooly bananas

this is great and awful thank you

[literallyjustanyurlatthispoint]

OOF yeah I forget how the outlier districts also had their fair share of Capitol propaganda too because yoikes 😬. Completely believable and head-smashing at the same time. Superb.

Also I do kinda have to laugh when I picture how grumpy they’ll be in @lorata’s District Upside-Down when they are finally rescued and it’s not Coin coming back for them….it’s those damn Twos 😒 (In a “thanks but this is even more insufferable and I can’t even make a dig about it” way). That paradigm shift won’t be fun but at least they’re alive to have it.

[kawuli]

I just realized that Alister in the D9 fic is basically what you get if you put Sam Vimes in the Hunger Games’ Peacekeepers.

(Of course he rebels.)

Keep reading

[lorata]

bb victor creed, for @transrevolutions

so i herd u had a bad day

Victor Creed (Emory version)

Sunlight dances through the apple leaves overhead. Now and then the branch moves and the sun itself glints through, a blinding flash that leaves purple spots dancing across Creed’s vision. He doesn’t look away, staring up at the mesmerizing shift of greens and browns and those distant patches of blue. Grass tickles the back of his neck and there’s a persistent tickle at his ankle where an ant keeps trying to climb his leg. He gave up trying to shake it off.

The Arena feels far away, hazy and distant like the wisp of a dream in the muddy moments before waking. His life before feels even stranger, an echo he can hardly remember.

“Am I alive?” Creed asks.

Again.

Again, Emory answers, “You are.” This time she hands him a river stone, worn smooth by the repetitive motion of the water, and he turns it over in his fingers and marvels at the glossy surface. When he holds it up above his head the sun shines through it, translucent, thin veins in the pale yellow-orange stone like a picture he once saw in a science book of a chicken embryo. Distracted by the image of a fetal-chicken-rock, Creed loses his grip on the stone and it falls and lands on his forehead.

“Ow.”

“There, you see.” Emory taps him on the forehead. “Good and living.”

“How many days?” he asks her.

Her fingers brush his hair back from his forehead. It’s shorter now; when they pulled him out his curls were matted thick with sweat and dirt and blood. Must have been easier than washing it all out. “Four since we got home,” Emory says, and leaves it at that.

He wants to ask how many total but that’s a harder question. Time is — fuzzy, before, all those days half-awake, the surgeries, sleeping in hospital, does that really count? Does recovery start when they pulled him out, the first time he woke up, the first time he spoke, the first time he remembered? Creed watches a leaf turn over on its stem, back and forth, back and forth. “How many more days?”

Emory pauses. “You did your countdown,” she says finally. “From here we count up.”

Creed’s heart clenches in his chest. There’s too much heart, actually, not enough room for lungs, all this blood pumping and pounding with nowhere for it to go and no air, everything pushing and fizzing and pressing outwards —

“Hey.” Emory’s hand presses down on his chest. “Breathe with me. Yeah? One at a time.”

She brings him back and he collapses against her, back curled into her chest. She wraps one arm around his chest to hold him steady and he tips his head onto her shoulder, staring up at the leaves. “I can’t do it. I can’t do it, it’s too far, I’m exhausted. There’s too much — how do you go, every day, without an end? Tomorrow there’s another day, and another day, and another day, and you have to keep doing this forever?”

Emory’s arm is solid. He grips it, digs his fingers into the sharp curve of muscle. “I won’t lie, that is a hell of a thing. But it doesn’t always feel like this.”

A bird flits to a top branch, silhouetted by the sun. “Would you lie, if I asked you to?”

Emory taps one finger in thought, absently, like she forgot her hand is at Creed’s side. It tickles, but it keeps him present. “Okay,” she says. “The hard part’s over. No one will ever ask anything of you again. Your enemies are dead and gone and everything is safe as sunshine. Every choice you make will be an easy one with no wrong answers. You will never see another death again.”

He sits with that, lets it sink in like a flower petal on the water. “Okay,” Creed says. “Now the truth.”

Emory’s exhales ruffles his hair. “Our jobs start the day we walk out alive. You’ll meet people who smile when they hurt you, and all you’re allowed to do is smile back. None of us are safe, but we do our damn well best to keep each other as safe as possible. The other districts will hate you. It’s not their fault. Purpose looks different after the Arena, and it sounds fake until it hits you in the face. But the biggest truths are these: you will always make me proud, and I’m never gonna leave you.”

Creed lets out a long, slow breath. The sun blinks down through the branches, stinging his eyes. “It does sound fake,” he says, voice scratchy. “You know I wasn’t meant to make it out. I was a statement of faith. What is a sacrifice supposed to do with a last-minute reprieve?”

“How about blackberries,” Emory says. “There’s a nice patch on the other side of the fence.”

“Blackberries.” Creed cranes his head back to give her an incredulous upside-down stare. “Twenty-three kids are dead and I should be one of them and you want to pick blackberries.”

One blonde eyebrow quirks. “You got a better idea?”

The blackberries do taste delicious, actually. Creed scrapes up both arms and one knee crawling through the brambles to get to the sweetest ones in the middle, and they eat their bounty spread out on a blue handkerchief under the August sun. Creed licks the juice from his fingers and holds up his purple-stained hands to show Emory like a six-year-old.

And so, the first day of the rest of Creed’s life passes: sunburnt, juice-smeared, and laughing.