Seven guys. Seven sides. All types of crazy love meant to be memorable.
Okay, so I’ve been struggling to decide what to base this series on, as I wanted to kick off my blog with a series featuring all the guys. Since I’m a huge fan of The Weeknd, apart from ENHYPEN, I thought it would be a great idea to connect the two. One of my favorite Weeknd albums is Starboy and most of my favorite songs are from that album. I hope you guys will enjoy this series!
In this captivating fanfiction series, seven young men navigate the thrilling world of a secret spy organization known as the Artificial Intelligence Systems Agency (AISA). Amidst high-stakes missions and covert operations, these agents find themselves entangled in unexpected romantic antics. Each story blends action, humor and romance, while the men balance their dangerous careers with the complexities of love, leading to comedic and heartwarming moments. As they reveal mysteries and encounter obstacles, their relationships and individual development become crucial to their adventure within the mysterious AISA.
Mishi’s Thoughts: I’m super excited to show you guys this series, I do hope you wouldn’t be disappointed! Seeing as I’m still navigating about Tumblr I’ll have to figure out how to create a taglist but if anyone is interested please don’t hesitate to comment or even message privately to ask! I’m not certain when I’ll be able to release this series for sure but it’ll be one member at a time. For now, I’ll just provide brief synopses for each based on what I’ll be working towards. Once again do enjoy everyone!
STARBOY
Trope: Golden Boy With A Dark Side
Pairing: spy!heeseung x spy!female reader
Release Date: June 5th, 2026
Synopsis: Deemed AISA’s Golden Boy - the most talented secret agent known within the organization for his charismatic nature, intellectual skills and of course his effortless attractiveness, no one would’ve ever suspected Lee Heeseung was harboring a dark secret under his skin. It’s only when his past catches up to him - threatening to ruin his life and tarnish his reputation within the agency, that he is forced to seek help and team up with the one person he’s been avoiding the most the entire time - you.
PARTY MONSTER
Trope: Enemies With Chemistry
Pairing: spy!jay x spy!female reader
Release Date: To Be Determined
Synopsis: You’ve always despised Park Jongseong - not because of the attention he’s garnered for his exceptional performance within the agency, but because of the burning jealousy within a small part of yourself that feels he doesn’t deserve such recognition. For as long as you’ve known Jay, you’ve concluded that he’s nothing but a careless jerk that’s always excessively clubbing and only managed through his multitude of missions by sheer luck. When the time comes for the both of you to be partnered up for a crucial mission, will such feelings change or will the heart harbor something entirely different?
REMINDER
Trope: Soft Player Falls First
Pairing: spy!jake x spy!female reader
Release Date: To Be Determined
Synopsis: Sim Jaeyun was widely known within AISA for his flirtatious skills. You could never take him seriously when he tried his antics on you, already aware of the multiple times he’d flirted with the other female agents. It’s only when you’re both paired up and forced to work undercover together as a married couple, do you begin to realize that Jake is much more than a player. You start seeing the real Jake: the one who stays up late to help you, the one who remembers your coffee order and the one who looks at you like you’re the only person in the room. And when he realizes he’s falling first - and falling hard - he’ll do anything to prove he’s not the player everyone thinks he is. He just wants to be yours.
TRUE COLORS
Trope: Cold Boy, Warm Heart
Pairing: spy!sunghoon x spy!female reader
Release Date: To Be Determined
Synopsis: Park Sunghoon is known for being distant - polite, quiet, unreadable. Most people assume he doesn’t feel much at all. But when you transfer as his new partner, you end up noticing the small things: the way he listens more than he speaks, the way he softens when he talks about his favorite hobby, the way he looks at you when he thinks you’re not paying attention. Slowly, he lets you into his world - late-night training sessions, quiet walks home and secrets he’s never told anyone. So when life hits him harder than he expects, you become the one person he can’t push away.
your estranged grandmother left you exactly one thing in her will: a sprawling luxury apartment in the heart of seoul — the kind of place that could singlehandedly cover your entire college tuition if you ever decided to sell it. now you had a penthouse all to yourself, a pink-tiled kitchen you weirdly adored, and a hopeless, slow-burning crush on the absurdly attractive neighbor who barely looked your way.
✧ WARNINGS AND TAGS
soulmates!au ◦ vampire!au ◦ mentions of sex ◦ dark themes such as depression, melancholy, killing ◦ landlord!sunghoon x fem!reader ◦ vampire!sunghoon x collegestudent!reader ◦ vampire!enhypen ◦ gore, mentions of violence and blood ◦ graphic description of violence ◦ in this au, humans and vampires coexist and vampires are almost extinguished ◦ heavy angst ◦ family drama ◦ mommy issues ◦ reader's dad has cancer ◦ eventual smut ◦ description of blood ◦ HAPPY ENDING ◦ too much angst ◦ pls be mindful of what you're consuming for your mental health.
+2OO,OOO main masterlist STATUS ━━━━━ FINISHED
۶ৎ 𝓜 , live laugh love vamp!hoon >< reposting my favorite piece of creation i've ever done because this was life changing for 20-year-old mari and i owe it all to my enhablr lovely readers. this will eventually have smut, so mdni. layout credits to kiwiatoll, banner credits to hoonstrology and divider credits to uzmacchiato. i love you guys sm thank u for being awesome and talented <3 i lost my old blog and all the tsj posts under it, that's why i'm reposting this. for now, the links will only redirect to ao3 bc your girl doesn't have time yet to repost each chapter here on tumblr but dw because i'll eventually post everything here okie.
read on ao3 spotify playlist main masterlist
THE SEONGHYEON JAEGA ━━━━━ MASTERLIST
PROLOGUE ONE ━━━━━ pink tiles
꒰ 5.8k ꒱you didn’t expect the winter garden, or the hydrangeas blooming out of season. and you definitely didn’t expect sunghoon — quiet, unreadable, and watching you like he already knew how this would end.
PROLOGUE TWO ━━━━━ the seonghyeon jaega
꒰ 10.9k ꒱between printer boys, rooftop gardens, and the neighbor who looks at you like he’s trying not to set the world on fire, this is what happens when loneliness meets curiosity and accidentally kicks off something bigger than you’re ready for.
CHAPTER ONE ━━━━━ hydrangeas & homicide
꒰ 11.2k ꒱ park sunghoon has survived centuries by staying detached — until a new neighbor moves in and quietly unravels everything. caught between instinct and control, he senses a bond he thought was myth, as something human begins to feel dangerously inevitable.
CHAPTER TWO ━━━━━ six-hundred-and-thirty-three
꒰ 16k ꒱ your body thrums with a strange, residual ache — not pain, but presence. like something has settled beneath your skin, quiet and irreversible. you don't have the words for it yet, but whatever passed between you and sunghoon in that moment wasn’t just physical. it’s something older, deeper, and it’s already taken root.
CHAPTER THREE ━━━━━ eletromagnetic emo ghost
꒰ 21.6k ꒱ all day, he feels you — in the air, under his skin, in every pulse that isn't his own. he watches you stumble through the day, dazed and aching, and hates that he caused it. but more than that, he hates how badly he wants more.
CHAPTER FOUR ━━━━━ resist the urge to bite (or kiss)
꒰ 35.2k ꒱ you want answers, but you also don’t want to ask. when you finally see him again, your body reacts before your mind can. and when he speaks — low, careful, restrained — it only confirms what you’ve been afraid to admit.
CHAPTER FIVE ━━━━━ hanil women university
꒰ 18.2k ꒱ the tension between you builds — sharp, close, and unbearably restrained. and when you finally ask if he regrets it, sunghoon doesn’t answer with words. he just looks at you — and it’s enough to know the truth.
CHAPTER SIX ━━━━━ necklines & near-death experiences
꒰ 24.3k ꒱sunghoon is shaken. and now that the bond is forming between you two, it’s not just instinct — it’s blood memory. he’s caught in something ancient and irreversible. and for the first time, you’re not the one in danger — he is.
CHAPTER SEVEN ━━━━━ orange blood
you never knew. and now everything — your instincts, your reactions, the way your body answers sunghoon before you can think — starts to make sense. it’s not legacy. it’s inheritance by accident. buried. hidden. and now, waking up.
EPILOGUE ━━━━━ bad desire (unleash)
it’s not soft. it’s inevitable. after nights of denial and tension so thick it ached, this moment snaps like a pulled thread. it’s teeth, breath, hands, and truth.
best friends who share everything… including their side chick.
𓊆박성훈 & 심재윤& 박종성 x fem reader𓊇 baby, is it me or are you doing something to me? when you smile, it’s shining, but for some reason, you’re lying inside. dangerously, you’re beautiful. you slowly came to me, my dilemma like a habit. ─ baby don't like it, nct127 ⫶ 𐔌masterlist꒱
𓆩♡𓆪 wow hi :< it's been a minute since i wrote + something so long + smut?! + foursome?!?!?! ... i'm super sorry in advance if this is so shit because yk i don't reread my smut and this is genuinely just 10k of filth hahsheahs and i miss u guys so much kisses kisses kisses :x
word count 10k
content advisory heavy infidelity/cheating, lowkey polyamory? possessiveness, side chick, jay is a football player, jake is a nerd, toxic relationship, moral ambiguity, hoes before bros or whatever, no one's a good person here, mentioned of underage drinking (1), kinda sunghoon biased i'm so sorry, non proofread!
smut advisory foursome (fmmm), very nasty mayne, different sex scenes, squirt, fingering, cum stuffing, oral, fellatio, pussy licking/sucking, lots of making out jesus, dirty talk, profanity, locker room fucking, creampie, cumshot, tit play, jake's in love with your tits and sunghoon can't stop kissing you, flirting, jay's gentler than the others, jake is lowkey a softdom/sub, sunghoon's a hard-dom and mean, use of slut, whore, cumdump etc. doggy style, side-fucking, missionary, creampie after creampie, car sex, hotel sex... might miss out some but pls.
growing up as a trio—jake, sunghoon, and jay always, and always made sure that no secrets are kept from one another. from highschool, and attending the same college, they stuck together like glue—rooming in the same dorm block, sharing the same late–night runs, copying each other’s work despite not taking the same major but shared classes.
they called themselves 02z (and sunghoon always thought that it was corny) and no matter what happened, the rule was simple: no secrets. everything got laid out on the table—the good, the bad, the ugly, and the embarrassing.
and they’d proven it time and time again.
like the time jake got stupidly drunk at a house party at the age of seventeen, and jay had to haul his half–conscious ass back through the window of his bedroom while sunghoon knocked on the front door and entertained jake’s father from finding out.
or the time jay accidentally broke the school’s window and to prevent him from getting suspended and kicked out of the football team, jake stepped forward and took the blame—”i threw it too hard to impress a girl, sorry.” he flashed that innocent puppy smile and accepted the week’s detention without complaint. jay never forgot it and paid him back by covering his shifts for two whole weeks.
but the real payment was the tighter bond between them.
“ride or die,” sunghoon had said once. and in a world where friendships were shallow and people stabbed each other in the back, the three of them were unbreakable. like a stream of water, it cannot be cut—
but even the strongest stream can be diverted when the faucet is turned.
——
funny enough—the first time jay saw you was during one of his football friendly matches.
it was a casual friday afternoon game, nothing serious, just the medic faculty versus the business for bragging rights and free drinks afterward. jay was on the field in his number 99 jersey, sweat already soaking the back of his neck under the orange sun.
his girlfriend, minji, was sitting in the small bleachers with a couple of her friends, waving at him every time he glanced her way. he’d blown her a kiss before the whistle, the perfect boyfriend move that made his teammates tease him later.
and you weren’t even supposed to be there for him.
you were merely just a friend with one of the strikers in his team—and had come along because he (martin) had begged you to at least pretend to cheer so he doesn’t look like a loser. you sat on the grass near the sidelines, knees pulled up in those pretty shorts and prettier top.
you weren’t attention seeking or loud, but jay found his eyes travelling to you more often than he’d like to. light, genuine laughter that cut through the noise of the field and scored him square in the chest. he almost lost the ball.
and if it wasn’t after the match that everyone gathered near the benches to talk about what happened and martin pulled you in to join the conversation. you, being youself—ever so friendly and talkative you, even prettier up close and funnier than most girls he know—chatted with the rest of the boys like you’d known them for months.
jay stood there, still catching his breath, tower slung over his shoulder, watching you. the conversation flowed naturally and he found himself grinning wider than he should, eyes lingering on the way your lips curved when you smiled.
“you played so well. even if your team totally got lucky on that last goal,” you commented, casually sitting next to jay on the bench. jay laughed, humming. “yeah? that never happened by the way—so it was probably your luck.”
you raised an eyebrow, amused, turning your body slightly toward him. “you think so?”
the way you said it made something in his chest tighten in the best way possible. most girls would either just giggle or try too hard, but you looked like you were genuinely enjoying the back–and–forth.
he leaned back on the bench, resting his elbows behind him. his jersey clung to his chest, damp with sweat, but neither of you care. for once, he was grateful his girlfriend wasn’t around.
“maybe,” he replied, that smirk tugging at his lips. “or maybe you’re bad luck for the other team. every time you cheered us, their defense fell apart. i saw it.”
you let out the laugh that got him almost distracted on the field earlier—and shook your head. “you’re so smooth, jay. do you use that line on every girl who watches your game?”
uh, oh.
his smirk faltered for half a second. he let out a quick, awkward laugh and rubbed the back of his neck to play it cool. “of course not,” he said, chuckling a little too loudly. “that would be way too cheesy. i swear i’m not that kind of guy.”
you tilted your head, studying him with glint in your eyes. then, casually, almost too casually, you dropped it—
“i thought so! you kept blowing kisses to a girl earlier. i saw it.”
jay went quiet.
the easy smile on his face froze. his fingers tightened slightly around his water bottle as the words landed. he swore—he swore—he didn’t mean to come off as flirty or anything, but it just… came out naturally.
like it was just you.
for a moment, he didn’t know what to say. he hadn’t even realised you’d noticed that.
“yeah, well…” he started, voice trailing off. he looked away for a second, heartbeat drumming fast, searching for the right words that wouldn’t make him sound like a complete asshole.
before he could finish, you broke into a soft giggle and waved your hand lightly in front of him. “i’m just joking, hehe,” you said, mischievous. “relax. you don’t have to look so guilty.”
jay let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, the tension in his shoulder easing as he laughed along. you were teasing him, but the way you said it so playfully made his tummy flip.
he finally met your eyes, watching the way your lips curved when you smiled like that. relax. you don’t have to look so guilty. then, before he could talk himself out of it, he pulled his phone out of his pocket and held it out to you.
“put your number in,” he said, smoother and calmer now. “next time we play, you could be our lucky charm again.”
you’re not stupid. if anything, martin would’ve invited you to the next matches anyway. but you took the phone anyway—fingers brushed against his. you saved yourself as yn, followed with a little soccer ball emoji and handed it back.
“don’t blow me kisses though,” you teased lightly as you stood up, brushing invisible dust from your shorts.
jay watched your back as you walked away, phone warm in his hand, your contact staring back at him. it’s harmless—it’s just a number and you’re just a girl who was easy and fun to talk to.
but the further you got from him, the more it’s clear to jay that he was going to text you tonight.
and the first turn of the faucet happened—quietly, and completely without anyone knowing, not even jay himself.
——
“oh my gosh, my player,” you moaned sensually, tipping your head back as jay lifted you up around his waist with ease.
his strong hands gripped the back of your thighs, fingers digging into your soft skin as he pressed you against the cool metal locker. the contrast between the cold surface on your back and the heat of his body made you shiver.
jay’s mouth was on yours instantly—hungry, deep, messy, and horny. he kissed you like he’d been starving from it since the first whistle was blown, tongue sliding against yours while low groans rumbled deep from his chest.
“fuck baby, you feel so good like this,” he rasped between kisses, grinding his hard cock against your bare pussy. the thin fabric of his shorts was the only thing separating you, and you could feel every inch of him throbbing, already leaking like a little boy for you.
“my little reward.”
you wrapped your arms around his neck, fingers threading through his damp hair as you rocked your hips against him, chasing the friction. “hngh—you did so well… how are you so good at everything?” another sensual moan slipped from your lips when he shifted and rubbed the head of his cock against your swollen clit.
“am i?” his lips trailed down your jaw to your neck, sucking and biting lightly, leaving faint marks he knew he shouldn’t but couldn’t stop himself from making. one hand stayed under your thigh, holding you up effortlessly, while the other squeezed your tit, thumb flicking over your perky nipple until you whimpered.
“look at you,” he murmured against your skin, voice hoarse with list. “so fucking wet and ready for me after i won. you like being my secret celebration, baby?”
you nodded eagerly, pussy twitching and clenching around nothing but the idea of jay’s thick cock inside. sensing that—he pulled his shorts down just enough to free his cock, thick and heavy, tip glistening with a bead of precum.
“i want you—fuck me, please,” you cry out, leaning to kiss him.
without another word, jay lined himself up and pushed inside you in one slow, deep thrust—stretching you open, filling you completely. a broken moan tore from your throat as he bottomed out, walls clenching tight around him. the guy buried his face in your neck, groaning loudly at how perfectly you took him.
“shit… so tight,” he breathed, staying still to let you adjust—but not for long before he started moving, sensual, deep rolls of his hips that dragged his cock against every sensitive spot. “oh god, yesyesyes, just like that,”
the locker rattled with every thrust. your legs tightened around his waist, heels dragging into his lower back as he fucked you against the cool metal, mouth never leaving your skin. he kissed, licked, and sucked at your neck and collarbone while his pace gradually picked up, turning deeper and harder.
“mine tonight,” he whispered roughly, one hand slipping between your bodies to rub tight circles on your wet, sensitive clit. you moaned louder, bud ticklish and feeling like you were going to squirt—which you did, just seconds after.
jay’s so good and gentle with how he’s treating you it’s making your chest flutter. “yours, jay, yours,” you gasped as the head of his cock knocked against your cervix—jerking your body upwards with each pound.
“my pretty little trophy… taking my cock so well after the game.”
your moans grew louder, more desperate, echoing softly in the empty, locked, locker room as he drove into you again and again and again—sensual, hot, sinful, and so fucking good.
jay’s breathing turned ragged, forehead pressed to yours as he chased both your highs, the wet slap of your skin and your shared gasps filling the air. the player ended up cumming—shooting ropes and ropes of warm jizz on your pretty little face, landing some on your head.
seeing how well you’re cleaning his cock—jay realised he was far from done with you.
——
for sim jaeyun, everything had its place, neatly stacked in order of importance.
first came his family—always. then his friends (sunghoon and jay at top, then the rest of the people he knows). layla, his border collie, squeezed into that top tier too. studies came strongly after that because he believed it’s 100% his future—
and finally, only then—way down the list—came fun.
and fun included his girlfriend, chloe. she was sweet, understanding, and never complained when he told her he had to study late or hang out with the boys. jake liked that about her—she knew her place in his priorities, and she respected it.
he never meant to rearrange that list.
“sorry we can’t do this at my apartment,” jake said, rubbing the back of his neck. “my girlfriend’s been staying over a lot lately and… yeah. i didn’t wanna make you uncomfortable.”
you and jake shared multiple classes since the start of the semester, sitting in the same lecture halls but he’d never really talked to you. not until the professor paired you two together for a major project that counted half of the final grade.
now here you were—tucked away in a quiet, secluded corner of the library on the third floor. jake sat across from you, laptop open, highlighter between his teeth as he scribbled notes. you leaned back in your chair, legs crossed, a small knowing smile playing on your lips.
unlike the easy friendliness you’d shown jay, something about jake brought out a slightly different side of you—a bit more teasing, more… dominant? like you enjoyed watching the good boy squirm a little.
“that’s okay, jakey,” you replied, tilting your head, eyes locked onto his. “anywhere is fine at least we get it done, right?”
jake blinked, caught off guard by the nickname but didn’t comment on it. his cheeks warmed slightly, but he laughed it off. “yeah… exactly. studies first, you know? gotta keep priorities straight.”
you hummed, leaning forward on your elbow, chin resting on your hand as you watched him. jake had to do everything just from glancing at your cleavage sticking out from your shirt. the way your gaze lingered made the air between you feel a little heavier, more intimate—and jake figured this was why most girls wouldn’t want their boyfriends around a girl.
a pretty one at that too.
“that’s good. keeping everything in order like that, hehe.”
the words slipped out casually but jake’s ears turned pink anyway. he shifted in his seat, suddenly hyper–aware of how secluded this corner was—no one could really see the two of you back here.
he tried to steer the conversation back to the project, pointing at the screen as you scooted closer beside him. “so… for this second, i was thinking we could—”
“oh—you typed quantitative wrong here—”
you leaned in and pointed at the typo on his laptop screen. in the process, your chest brushed against his arm, soft and warm through your thin top that jake swore he felt the sponge of your bra.
jake froze.
his breath hitched, eyes widening for a split second as he felt the brief press of your chest against his bicep. a rush of heat shot straight through him and you felt the way he tensed up.
“oh—shit, sorry,” you said quickly, pulling back a little, though your voice didn’t sound even an ounce of guilt if he was being honest. “didn’t mean to interrupt you like that.”
his mouth went dry. he could still feel the ghost of the touch on his arm, and his brain was suddenly struggling to form normal sentences. “n—no, it’s okay,” he stammered, rubbing the back of his neck, cheeks now matching the pink of his ears.
“don’t worry about it.”
you bit your lip to hide a small smile, watching the way composed jake was suddenly flustered. the good boy who kept his priorities straight was starting to crack a little. instead of moving back, you stayed right where you were—shoulders almost touching his, close enough that your perfume filled his nostrils.
you pointed at the screen again, this time more carefully, your nails tapping on the lcd. your voice dropped softer, with a hint of light dominant slipping through.
“see? right here. fix it, jakey.”
jake swallowed hard, nodding quickly as his fingers moved to the keyboard. but it was hard to focus on the project anymore—not when every time you shifted even slightly, he became hyper–aware of how close you were, and how dangerous his mind was playing at.
that damn cleavage and top.
maybe it was because jake met you during one of his ‘studying’ sessions, but you were quick to climb up his carefully built hierarchy. just like jay, you were easy to talk to, quick with your thoughts, and somehow jake liked… being told what to do. shamelessly.
“you’re so good at this,” you hummed softly, scooting your chair just a tiny bit closer until your knee brushed his under the table. “what’s something you’re not good at?”
you meant the project—but you also knew men like jake would divert the meaning elsewhere. something jake’s not good at is probably standing on his morals and keeping his priorities straight.
not when he’s easily swayed like this.
——
just two months after that, jake’s stacked priorities crumbled.
parked in a quiet, dimly lit corner of the campus parking lot at 11:49 p.m., the backseat of his car fogged up. he had a chemistry exam the next day—yet here he was.
“jakey…” you whispered against his mouth, voice low and teasing as you cupped his cheeks, fingers tapping against his skin. “you’re thinking too much again.” you continued, straddling his lap and brushing your lips against his.
“it’s late…” he breathed, even as his hands gripped your waist tighter, pulling you down harder against the obvious bulge in his jeans. “test t’morrow… chloe… fuck, this is so wrong.”
you pouted playfully, rolling your hips and grinding against him in the meantime. “but you’ll ace the test tomorrow anyway, why bother?” you hummed, pressing your lips against him. jake groaned, head falling back against the seat. you purposely ignored the latter problem.
his morals screamed at him, but his body betrayed him completely.
clothes were pushed aside rather than fully removed—your skirt flipped up, panties pulled to the side, his jeans shoved down just enough. he had you on all fours, exactly how he liked it best: doggy style.
as all up for him to watch as it jiggles—yeah, fuck yeah. jake’s hands gripped your hips tightly as he pushed into you from behind in one, full, deep thrust—instantly burying himself deep with a broken moan.
“shit—you feel so good, yn,” he gasped, forehead pressing between your shoulder blades for a second. the angle was beyond perfect—the cramped car, and your tight, wet, cunt while being so deep he could feel every clench around him.
“uh huh? what else?”
he started moving, savouring the way your back arched for him, the way you pushed back to meet every thrust, the way your ass jiggled when his pelvis slapped ‘em. “so tight, your pussy’s so tight, yn,” he rasped, picking up his pace. jake’s hips snapped harder, the sound of skin slapping skin filling the space of the car. “i love it—love your pussy,”
jake’s cock was probably the longest you’ve had, reaching so deep your fingers, toys, and other boys had never been able to. “oh god, jakey, you’re so good,” you moaned aloud, palms flat against the fogged window.
“you’re ruining me,” jake groaned, one hand sliding up to push you down lower, chest pressed against the seat while your ass stayed up for him. “can’t stop thinkin’ about this—about you.”
his balls slapped against your wet pussy, dragging you velvet walls with each time he pulled out. you moaned sensually, gripping the edge of the seat as he fucked you faster, coming close. “then don’t stop, just do me all the time.”
that pushed him over the edge.
the boy’s grip tightened. he pulled you back onto his cock, deep with every thrust. the car rocked with his movements. “fuck, fuck, fuck,” he panted, sweat dripping down his temple, morals completely shattered as he took you exactly how he loved—deep, rough, playful.
“want your cum, gosh—fuck, cum all over me,” you gasped, saliva leaking out from the edge of your mouth. your pussy squelched with every thrust, juices splattering on the leather seat. what a shame to the girlfriend, really.
he leaned over you, one arm wrapped around your waist while the other braced beside your head, pounding into you harder as he began chasing his end. “shouldn’t… i really shouldn’t…” he groaned, voice strained and broken.
“c’mon, be a good boy—give it to me, cumcumcum,”
the praise pushed him over—with a final moan, jake pulled out of your dripping pussy. he flipped you onto your back in one motion, trapping you between his knees. his hand pumped his slick, wet cock furiously, eyes dark and wild as he hovered above you.
you looked up at him with a teasing glint in your eyes—lips parted, chest heaving, already arching your back and pushing your tits together for him. his abs tensed, jaw clenched tight.
“shit—i’m cumming—!”
thick liquidity, warm ropes of cum shot across your chest in messy spurts, painting your tits and collarbones white. some landed right on your nipple, dripping slowly down the curve which only caused jake to cum some more.
fuck, that’s so fucking hot—he thought, swallowing the lump in his throat as he kept stroking himself through it, milking every last drop until his cock twitched empty and his whole body shuddered.
you licked around your lips, smearing jake’s cum all over your pretty tits. it looked like you were lactating his cum.
“fuck… am i good enough, yn?” he murmured, chest heaving. “look at what you do to me.”
——
saturday night and sunghoon’s at a popular off–campus club with a group of his classmates. while he’s not much of a party guy, he came because one of them kept dragging him anyway, and he knew he couldn’t keep rejecting their advances for so long.
he’s sitting in the booth area, nursing drunks, bored, and detached while everyone else is loud and drunk. sunghoon doesn’t dance. doesn’t flirt. just watch.
that’s when he saw you.
you’re on the dance floor with your girlfriends, just being effortlessly sexy and attractive—the way your body swayed, hair sticking on your neck from the heat, the same curve of your smile that jay was starstrucked with.
and that damn black dress that hugged your curves just right.
sunghoon’s eyes locked on you instantly, he didn't smile when your eyes met his as well across the floor—just watching. instead of looking away shyly, you held his gaze for a few seconds, then your eyes travelled from the top of his head down to his shoes, and gave him a slow smile before turning back to your friends.
that was all it took for him.
sunghoon stood up, leaving his classmates’ drinks and stuffs on the table, and walked straight onto the crowd. he didn’t say anything at first—just slid in behind you, one hand slightly resting on your waist as he spun you around to meet him.
“hey,” he murmured, tall frame towering over you. “what’s that about?”
you tilted your head slightly, a playful, faux innocence smile playing on your lips. “what’s what about?”
his eyebrows furrowed just a fraction, but the corner of his mouth twitched—the tiniest hint of amusement and a thought of, wow, the audacity. his hand stayed on your waist, thumb pressing lightly into the fabric of your dress, holding you in place.
“that look you gave me,” he said, shrugging. “are you daring me?”
you let out a soft laugh that almost sounded like a scoff, eyes sparkling and laced with a kind of bratness that he never knew he was into. you didn’t pull away but instead stepped a little closer, letting your chest brush against his as you looked up at him through your lashes.
“and if i am?” you replied, sweetly. “what are you gonna do about it?”
morality had always been quite a blur to sunghoon.
he never lost sleep over it but rules, right and wrong, loyalty—they were just concepts that applied to other people. as long as it didn’t affect his image or his life or his close circle greatly, he didn’t care enough to draw hard lines.
and tonight, those blurry lines had just walked out of the club with him.
sunghoon didn’t say much as he guided you toward his black sedan by holding your hand in his. you glanced up at him, still wearing that same little smile. “you always drag girls out of clubs without asking their name?”
he unlocked the car with a soft beep and opened the front door for you. his eyes met yours—completely unbothered. “sunghoon,” he said simply. “and i don’t bring girls out anywhere.”
you let out a hum, but still slid into the front seat without hesitation. he followed right after, closing the door behind him. the inside of his car smelled strongly of his cologne, and as he started the engine, he didn’t bother with small talks. didn’t ask where you lived, nor did he offer to take you home.
sunghoon pulled out of the parking lot and drove toward the city centre with his one hand occasionally brushing your thigh. you watched the streetlights flicker across his jawline and the way his expression said nothing eventhough the tension between you two in the car reeked with want.
“so… where are we going?”
“a hotel. closer than my place.”
——
the door had barely clicked shut before sunghoon had you pressed against the wall, mouth crashing into yours in a deep. hungry kiss. there was nothing gentle about it—his lips moved against yours with need, tongue sliding in immediately to taste you as one hand gripped your jaw, and the other pressed on your hip.
and you—you kissed him back just as greedily, fingers digging into his shoulders, tugging at his shirt like you wanted it off yesterday. “ngh—hngh,” you moaned into his mouth, tongue intertwining and sucking on one another.
sunghoon broke the kiss only long enough to pull your dress up and over your head at once, letting it drop to the floor. his hands were on you instantly—squeezing your tits, sliding down to grip your ass, yanking you flush against him so you could feel how hard he was through his pants.
“fuck,” he muttered against your lips, voice low. he bit your bottom lip, then soothed it with his tongue before kissing you again, deeper this time.
you moaned into his mouth, hands working frantically to unbutton his shirt and push it off his shoulders. the moment his bare chest pressed against yours, sunghoon groaned and lifted you up. your legs wrapped around his waist instinctively as he carried you across the room, lips still on yours.
he dropped you onto the bed, the mattress dipping. before you could even catch your breath, sunghoon was crawling over you, shoving his pants and boxers fully down to free his thick, heavy cock.
and jesus—unlike jay or jake’s, sunghoon was packing.
“you’re so hot,” sunghoon licked his lips, hooked his fingers into your panties, ripped them down your legs, and spread your thighs wide open with his knees. he looked down at you for one brief second, then lined himself up.
“are you gonna fuck me? without even knowing my name?”
sunghoon paused, the corner of his mouth twitching into a cocky smirk. finally, he didn’t look cold. he pushed just the tip inside you, teasing, before answering.
“i know you, yn,”
your eyes almost widened, a mix of surprise and arousal flashing across your features.
“how?”
he leaned down closer, one hand gripping your thigh as he slowly sank another inch deeper, stretching your tight cunt open. “i overhead your friends,” he murmured, hissing through his teeth as your pussy engulfed him.
you let out a soft moan, back arching as the familiar burn of being stretched came back to you. “fuck… you’re really something, hoonie.”
sunghoon bottomed out with a groan, burying himself to the hilt inside you. for a second, he stayed still—letting you feel and adjust every inch of him, his grip on your thighs tightened. you arched your back, eyes half–lidded as you looked up at him, that spark still burning bright behind your eyes.
“fuck me good, hoonie,” you whispered, biting your bottom lip as you began palming and playing with your tits, tweaking the perky buds. “make it worth me leaving my friends for you.”
“shh—shut up and let me do the work.”
that night, sunghoon fucked you for hours—the bed creaked loudly beneath as he fucked you deep and fast, hips snapping against yours with every thrust. his hands held your thighs spread wide, keeping you open as he pounded. the wet sounds of your bodies echoing in the hotel room.
“fuck—your cunt feels s’good,” sunghoon moaned, tipping his head against the headrest, jaw clenched tight. you hovered right over his hard, slick cock. sunghoon’s eyes never left yours as you sank down onto him, taking every inch until your ass met his lap.
a broken moan left your lips at the deeper angle. sunghoon groaned too, his fingers digging harder. “look at you,” he murmured, eyes roaming over your face, your bouncing, marked, tits, lips parted in pleasure with your tongue sticking out.
fuck. this is why sunghoon loved cowgirl. watching every lewd, pretty expression, every flutter of your eyelashes, your mouth opened to moan his name—because of this cock.
you started moving, rolling your hips in sensual circles, then bouncing on his cock with more force. his hands guided you, but he let you do most of the work, just like he liked it. his gaze stayed locked on your face the entire time.
“you’re so big, hoonie, oh jesus fuck,” you moaned eagerly, biting your lip. with each time you bounced on it, the head of his cock kissed your cervix sweetly and it felt so fucking good. he pulled you down closer by the nape of your neck, and kissed you deeply while you rode him.
“that’s it… just like that, baby,” he rasped against your mouth, kissing the corner of your lips, then your cheek, then your jaw. “ride my cock like a good girl—let me see how pretty you look when you cum on me again.”
his free hand moved between your bodies to circle and pinch your perky buds. the combination made your rhythm falter, thighs shaking as you bounced faster, chasing the high.
sunghoon kept watching you—obsessed. he kissed you again and again, swallowing your moans, occasionally bucking his hips to meet your movements and driving himself even deeper.
“cummin’ soon, babe?” he murmured against your lips, now moving his hand to rub that sensitive, wet, clit. “cum on me—then i’ll fill you up.”
you could only moan his name as the pleasure built higher and higher, your hips moving desperately.
sunghoon, who never thought he’d ever cheat on sooha, let alone creampie another girl he just met raw—watched your face with almost possessive gaze. he had always been careful, even with someone who has little to no morals.
and you—who had literally never let anyone cum inside you before—were seconds away from letting him be the first.
your thighs shook as the orgasm crashed over you. “fuck—!” you cried out, clenching hard around him, hips stuttering as you came and squirted all over his cock. the feeling of your pussy pulsing and gushing around him pushed sunghoon over the edge.
thick, hot spurts of semen flooded inside you, filling you up the very first time. he kept thrusting through it, pushing his cum deeper.
one night stand—this won’t ruin anything for sunghoon.
right?
——
“so,” jay started, leaning back against the railing with that smirk of his, “valentine’s next week. you guys already got plans locked in?”
jake nodded, smiling. “don’t even say it. i booked the restaurant last month because i know she’ll kill me if i forget. we’ll probs just have dinner together.” he shook his head, sipping his canned beer. “gotta keep the girlfriend happy, right?”
sunghoon took a slow sip of his as well, shrugging and unbothered as ever. “i’ll probably just take sooha out on a breakfast and shopping. i got plans that night.”
jay raised an eyebrow, turning to him with curiousity. “oh? what are you doing that night?”
he didn’t even flinch, just stared down at the small puddle of water around the can opening where his mouth kissed it. “bringing yeji out,” he said, absentmindedly swirling the alcohol in the can. “she’s been begging me to take her out. figured valentine’s night is as good as any.”
jake let out a laugh, completely buying it. “damn, she’s gonna milk you dry.” he commented, then glanced at jay from where he’s sitting. “what about you? something big again?”
“nah, think minji wants something intimate this time.” he hummed, looking out at the yard—people were chatting, dancing, and drunk to their heads. “maybe i’ll cook and we’ll spend the day at mine. who knows.”
“what a romance.”
the three of them continued talking easily—hopping from one topic to another—arguing whose girlfriend was more demanding, whose more whipped, and reminiscing about things they’ll never get back.
none of them even knew that they each shared the same secret—and little did they know, she was walking around the party downstairs right under their noses.
down in the crowded kitchen, you leaned against the counter, red cup in hand, while heeseung stood in front of you—close enough that his arm rested on the counter beside your waist.
“oh, i don’t have a boyfriend,” you replied, taking a small sip from your cup while holding his gaze. heeseung grinned, leaning in a little closer and lowering his voice so only you could hear him over the loud music.
“good. because i’ve been wanting to ask you out for a while now. you’re always so hard to catch alone.” his fingers lightly tapped the counter next to your hip. “what do you say? let me take you somewhere nice this valentines?”
you bit your lip, pretending to think about it—
but before you could answer, a familiar voice cut through the noise.
“yn?”
sunghoon.
he was frowning. the usual expression on his face didn’t change much except for the tightness of his jaw, and the way his gaze flicked to heeseung’s hand near your hip.
heeseung turned his head, still smiling. “oh, hey man—”
sunghoon didn’t let him finish.
without a word, he reached out, wrapped his fingers around your waist and firmly pulled you away from the counter and away from heeseung. “come with me,” he said quietly, already leaving the kitchen.
you barely had time to shoot heeseung an apologetic smile before sunghoon guided you through the crowd, up the stairs, and into one of the empty guest rooms on the second floor. he closed the door—but didn’t lock it—the party noise instantly muffled.
“the fuck was that?” he asked, frowning and confused. “heeseung? really? you let him get that close to you?”
sunghoon took a step closer, towering over, eyes narrowed.
“i thought we had an understanding,” he continued, laced with unfair possessiveness. “you didn’t even tell me you’d be here—then i caught you with some dude flirting?”
before you could form a reply, his hand came up to grip your cheeks, forcing you to meet his gaze. “you couldn’t wait till i take you out on valentines?”
you looked up at him, a scoff escaped you—and a small smile tugged at your lips. “so you can have fun with sooha… but i can’t do the same with heeseung?”
his jaw tightened; and for a second, he just stared at you, thumb brushing over your lower lips. he let out a low, breathy scoff, almost a laugh—but there was no humour in it. “you’re really testing me,” he murmured, clicking his tongue.
“sooha’s my girlfriend. she gets breakfast and shopping because that’s what keeps everything quiet. you…” he paused, free hand slid down to your waist where he squeezed the flesh. “you get me at night. isn’t that better? i’m about to fuck you all night and you’re gettin’ jealous over some fucking breakfast?”
he tilted your head slightly, fingers digging into your flesh.
“don’t compare yourself to her. and don’t let another guy put his hands near you again.”
he crashed his lips against yours in a hungry, possessive kiss, gripping your jaw tighter as he devoured your mouth. the kiss was messy and intense—tongues sliding, teeth grazing, low groans between you.
you kissed him back just as fiercely, fingers threading into his hair and tugging hard, making him groan into your mouth.
“fuuuccckkk,” he grunted between the kiss—turning and walking you backwards until your legs hut the edge of the bed. without breaking the kiss, sunghoon pushed you down onto the mattress and climbed on top of you, body pressing into the sheets.
his hands roamed greedily—one sliding under your dress to grip your thigh, the other pinning your wrists above your head. “oh my, hngh,” you moaned softly, arching up into him as he ground his hips down against you. sunghoon bit your bottom lip, then soothed it with his tongue.
“always pissin’ me off—”
his phone suddenly started ringing on the nightstand.
sunghoon ignored it initially, lips moving down to your neck, sucking hard enough to leave another mark as the ringing continued. “jesus—shut the fuck up…” he murmured, merely glancing at his phone. he assumed it was just one of his friends, or just anyone but—
“sunghoon, you in here—?”
jake’s voice died in his throat. jay stood right beside him, phone in his hand—both of them froze in the doorway, eyes wide as they took in the scene.
you lying on the bed, dress hiked up, lips swollen from kissing. sunghoon on top of you, one hand under your dress, his lips glistened from saliva, hair messy from your fingers.
for a long, suffocating second, nobody moved.
sunghoon’s head snapped up, eyes widening in genuine shock, his expression completely shattered—he was caught. fucking caught. by his own bestfriends. they weren’t supposed to fucking know that he’s not loyal to sooha. the same two guys he swore loyalty to since teenangers.
the colour drained from his face.
jake and jay stared, wide–eyed, stunned.
“...yn?” jake breathed out first, voice barely above a whisper, like he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. jay’s mouth opened, then closed—replaced by pure disbelief. instead of addressing the elephant in the room—which was sunghoon fucking cheating—your name came out first.
the realisation hit them both at the same time—how the fuck did all of them came to know you? if jay knew you because of his affair, and jake knew you too—and sunghoon too—then were they all having an affair with you?
they’d been secretly fucking the same girl for months—?!
you, still pinned under sunghoon, felt your stomach drop.
“oh my fucking gosh…” you whispered, eyes wide, a nervous laugh bubbling out of you before you could stop it. you propped yourself up on your elbows, hand flew up to cover your mouth, but it was useless.
the shock, the absurdity, the fact that you had been playing all three of them without any of them knowing… it was all crashing down at once.
sunghoon finally pulled his hand out from under your dress and sat up slightly. he looked between his two bestfriends, voice strained. “look—this isn’t what it looks like.”
jake let out a broken, disbelieving laugh. “you’re on top of her, dude.”
jay’s grip tightened—he stared at you like he was seeing you for the first time.
“you.. and sunghoon?” his voice cracked. “how long has this been going on?”
the room was thick and silent for half a second.
then it clicked.
sunghoon’s eyes narrowed and his eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he looked at jay—then slowly turned his head toward jake. the realisation hit him. “wait…” he muttered. “how the fuck do you know her?”
jake’s face went pale—he blinked rapidly and swallowed the lump in his throat. “yeah… how do you know yn?”
jay’s mouth opened, but no words came out at first. his gaze flicked between you and sunghoon, confusion turning into dawning horror. sunghoon sat up straighter, but not off you. all three boys were now staring directly at you.
“how do you know jay?”
“and how the hell do you know jake?”
“you and sunghoon—?”
now the focus shifted entirely on you.
you were still lying on the bed, dress rumpled, lips swollen, heart hammering in your chest. three pairs of eyes—shocked, jealous, and confused—were locked on you.
“i—”
you tried to sit up, tugging your dress down with shaky hands. “i—i didn’t know? ah, i swear… it just… happened? i mean—”
you were clearly flustered, words tumbling out in a nervous rush. “i never thought—i didn’t know you guys knew each other—?”
before you could finish, jake reached behind him and closed the door with a soft click, locking the four of you inside. both of them walked closer to the bed, their expressions shifting from confusion to something more of—betrayal and disbelief.
jay ran a hand through his hair, letting out a short laugh. “wow… you’ve been fucking all of us?” his voice was low, eyes wide. “our own friend group?”
why didn’t they blame each other—? you thought, swallowing the lump in your throat. you guys were the asshole cheaters in the first place! so they could cheat on their girlfriends, but god forbids a girl have fun with multiple guys?
“have you been playing us the whole time? jake asked. “letting jay fuck you, me, now sunghoon pinning you down like that?”
just as you were about to open your mouth, sunghoon squished your cheeks together and slammed his lips against yours roughly—teeth clashing and grazing your lips. you whimpered into the kiss, hands instinctively grabbing his shirt.
when sunghoon finally pulled back, you grasped for air. his thumb dragged across your botton lip. “there’s no point hiding anymore, is there?”
the tension snapped.
jay moved first, climbing onto the bed and grabbing your wrist, pulling you toward him. “c’mere, baby.” jake was right behind him, kneeling on your other side. sunghoon stayed where he was, between your knees, watching as his two bestfriends started touching you.
in seconds, your dress was being yanked up and over your head. hands were everywhere—jake’s mouth on your neck, jay’s hands squeezing your tits, sunghoon’s fingers hooking into your panties and dragging them down your legs.
you were panting, head spinning from the sudden overload.
“look at her,” jay murmured, voice thick as he pinched your nipple, eliciting a moan. “pretty little side chick… been taking all three of us like a whore.” jake groaned, kissing down your chest. “and we thought we were the only ones… fuck, that’s so hot.”
sunghoon gripped your jaw again, turning your face toward him. “open your mouth.”
the second you did, and he kissed you again—rough and deep—while jay and jake worked together pleasing your tits. jay’s hand wandered along your tummy—down to your bare, wet cunt.
his fingers slid between your folds, groaning when he felt how wet you already were. “shit, so soaked.”
“fuckin’ dripping for us already,” sunghoon said, moving to give jake a space to settle between your spread legs. “turn over,” sunghoon ordered, commanding as he grabbed your hips. “on your hands and knees now, c’mon.”
your body obeyed before your brain could catch up—which shocked jake a little since with him, you were never this obedient. you were flipped onto all fours in the middle of the bed, ass up, back arched, completely exposed.
jake gripped your asscheeks, spreading them wide enough as he leaned in and dragged his tongue slowly from your clit, all the way up to your dripping hole. “fuck, taste s’good,” he moaned, his cock beneath his pants twitched. he dove back in, licking and sucking messily while jay knelt in front of you. he tilted your chin up, hard cock already freed from his pants, thick and leaking.
“open that pretty mouth, baby.”
you parted your lips and he instantly pushed the head of his cock past them, sliding deep into your warm mouth with a satisfied groan. “oh, fuuuuck… your mouth always feels s’good…”
sunghoon stayed at your side, one hand already palming and stroking his cock while the other reached underneath to rub circles on your clit as jake french–kissed your pussy. “look at you,” sunghoon murmured. “what a slut… taking all taken men at once. this what you wanted, isn’t it?”
jake hummed against your pussy and you felt the curve of his mouth forming into a smile—the vibration making your thighs quiver. jay thrusted into your mouth, hand tangled in your hair. “been screwing each of us behind the other’s backs…” jay groaned, pushing deeper until you gagged.
“greedy little girl.”
your muffled moan around jay’s cock was the only answer they needed.
jake was the first to pull back from between your legs, shiny with your juices. he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, swimming with pure need. “i’m going first,” he said, settling behind you. “been dying to fuck you again since the last time.”
sunghoon and jay didn’t argue. they simply shifted positions.
jake moved behind you, gripping your hips tightly and lining up his hard cock with your dripping entrance. without any warning or heads up, he pushed in with one deep thrust—bottoming out in a single stroke.
“oh, fuuuck…” he groaned aloud, head falling back as your tight walls clenched around him. “still so ’ tight… missed this pussy so much.” jake started thrusting—deep strokes that rocked your body forward.
at the same time, sunghoon knelt in front of you. he grabbed your hair gently but firmly, guiding your mouth to his cock. “open up,” he ordered quietly. you obeyed, lips parting as he slid his thick length into your mouth. sunghoon let out a groan, eyes half–lidded as he watched you take him inch by inch.
jay moved to your side, kneeling close enough that his cock was right next to your face. your hand instinctively wrapped around his length, stroking his wet cock while you sucked his best friend’s.
the room filled with wet, porno sounds—jake’s hips slapping against your ass as he fucked you from behind, the slick sounds of your mouth working sunghoon’s dick, and your hand pumping jay’s length. every now and then, jake would slap you ass—gripping, squeezing, and spreading and watched as your asshole twitched.
“aw, pretty baby,” jay grunted, wrapping his bigger hand around yours as he guided you through it out. “taking all three of us so well, mm? perfect girl.”
next to him, sunghoon scoffed. jake panted and runted like a dog—gripping your hips harder as he pounded into you. “oh—hah—you feel so good, oh fuck, i missed this so much—missed you so much.”
sunghoon glanced at jake before his hand tightened in your hair, guiding your head as he picked up his pace fucking your mouth. “that’s it… suck me just like that—how you’d do with all the other guys, babe.”
jay groaned, hips twitching into your fist. “yeah—? do you have other guys you’re fucking aside us, yn?”
you instantly shook your head as much as you could with sunghoon’s cock buried in your mouth, a desperate, muffled, “mm—mm” vibrating around him.
“right,” sunghoon clicked his tongue. the memory of you getting hit on by heeseung playing in the back of his head. if you were able to hide jake and jay from him for months—who knew who else?
every thrust from jake pushed you forward onto sunghoon’s cock, forcing you to take him even deeper down your throat. you were gagging around him, drool slipping from the corners of your mouth but you kept sucking.
jake’s rhythm started to falter. his grip on your hips tightened almost painfully as he fucked you harder from behind. “hah—i’m close, oh god,” he groaned. “wanna fill you up—i can fill you up, right? hngh—you’ll let me?”
he slammed into you a few more times, deep and desperate, burying himself to the hilt. now—jay and sunghoon never knew jake was someone who’s into this but who were they to judge? the contrast between how you were with jake, sunghoon, and jay made them want to laugh.
with jay, you’re treated as the princess of the princess—sweet, gentle, kind words—like you’re the girlfriend. with jake, you got to order and command—and he’s always so fucking into being called a good boy. with sunghoon? with sunghoon—you’re the brat that needed some punishment.
you nodded your head and that was all jake needed.
“hah—cumming—” he rasped. you felt the first hot spurts of his cum flood deep inside you. the puppy boy kept grinding into you, milking every drop as he creampied you, his cock twitching. a low whine escaped your throat, muffled.
when jake finally pulled out, a thick trail of his cum leaked from your cunt.
“next,” jake panted, voice hoarse as he moved aside.
they filled you onto your back.
the player immediately took his place between your legs, but instead of fucking you missionary, he turned you slightly onto your side. he lifted your top leg, hooking it over his hip, and instantly slid his throbbing cock into your cum–filled cunt in one thrust.
“ah—! jay!” you moaned aloud, followed by jay’s groan. the warmth from jake’s cum wasn’t helping the situation at all. it felt so fucking good. “she’s so slippery with your cum, jake… so filthy.”
he started fucking you from the side—deep, rolling thrusts that let him hit every sensitive spot. you’re beyond embarrassed at this point. your creamy pussy that gushes cum with each thrust, how exposed and bare and wet you were for the other two boys to see.
you wondered if this was the consequences of your actions.
jake moved up beside your head, still breathing hard. he groped your tits greeding—how he loved them—squeezing and kneading, pinching your sweaty nipples as he leaned down to kiss and bite along your neck.
‘hngh—yn, i love these so much,” he muffled, sucking and tugging at your boobs. “so soft, you’re so squishy.”
sunghoon shifted to your other side, cupping your jaw and pulling you into a deep, messy kiss. his tongue slid against yours while jay continued fucking you from the side, the wet sounds of his cock plunging into your creampied pussy filling the room.
sunghoon kissed you like he couldn’t bear not doing anything while the other two boys had their fun. he was almost annoyed and pissed that they just had to interrupt him having you all to himself earlier.
“is this what you like?” jake murmured against your neck, his hands never stopping roaming. he groped your breasts, rolled your nipples between his fingers, then slid one hand down to rub your clit in lazy circles while jay thrusted into you. “taking jay’s dick right after i filled you up… you’re so hot, yn.”
“hngh—jay, oh fuck, you’re so big—” you moaned into sunghoon’s mouth in which he instantly shut you up. jay groaned, picking up the pace, hips snapping harder. “fuck. i can feel your cum every time i push in, jake. poor sweetheart, do you like this, baby?”
sunghoon pulled back from the kiss just enough to let you breathe, lips brushing yours. “answer him while he’s fucking you.”
your body trembled between the three guys as you answered: “yes, yes, yesyesyes—! i—i love all three of you, oh my fuck!” you cried out, chasing sunghoon’s lips as you began sucking his bottom lip. you moaned shamelessly into his mouth while jay’s cock dragged against your walls.
“we love you too.”
behind you, jay smirked—and jake couldn’t help from smiling.
“show us how much you love it, please?” jake murmured against your nipple, his fingers never slowing down—pressing and rubbing your clit. “squirt for us—make a mess all over jay’s dick.”
he began rubbing harder—and the pressure coiled fast. too fast.
before you knew it, your thighs started shaking uncontrollably. your back arched sharply as jake’s fingers and jay’s cock worked you together. “oh, i’m gonna—!”
you didn’t even get to finish.
with a loud, broken cry, you squired around jay’s cock. clear fluid gushed out of you, soaking jay’s hips, the sheets, and jake’s hand. your whole body convulsed, pussy clenching and pulsing violently.
“fuck—!” jay groaned, eyes rolling back as your walls squeezed him like a vice. the feeling of you squiring all over him while still full of jake’s cum pushed him over the edge. without any warning, he buried himself deep and came—thick ropes of cum shooting right inside.
he kept grinding into you through his orgasm, pushing every drop deeper as your squirt continued to leak around his cock.
sunghoon watched the while thing, still kissing you through your high, swallowing every broken moan and whimper.
when jay finally stilled, panting against your shoulder, the room was filled with heavy breathing and the obscene sound of cum and squirt dripping onto the sheets. jake leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to your nipple while his fingers slowed on your oversensitive clit.
“good girl…” jay murmured, kissing your temple. “such a perfect girl.”
jay pulled out slowly, another mix of squirt and both their cum leaking out of your used cunt like whipped cream, jay smirked, giving your ass a squeeze.
“my turn.”
sunghoon didn’t waste a single second.
he moved between your legs, pushing them wide open as he settled on top of you in full missionary, his frame caged you in, eyes locked onto yours that always made your tummy flip. without warning, he slid two fingers deep into your cum–filled pussy, curcling them instantly.
“hah—hoonie—!” you gasped, back arching off the bed as he started fingering you—fast and deep, wet sounds loud and filthy as he stirred jake and jay’s cum inside you. “feel that, babe? he muttered. “so full already—yet so slutty for more.”
he pumped his fingers harder, scissoring them, pushing the mixed loads deeper while his thumb rub your swollen clit. your legs trembled around him, overstimulation making tears prick.
only when you were whimpering and gasping did sunghoon finally pull his fingers out. he brought them up to your mouth.
“clean ‘em.”
you obediently opened your lips, sucking his fingers clean of the messy mix of cum while he watched. then, he lined up his thick, needy cock—and pushed into you in one deep thrust, slow enough to let you feel every inch and veins of him.
a broken moan tore from your throat.
sunghoon bottomed out, holding your hips. “shit… so warm and wet,” he breathed, and began to move. his thrusts were hard and deliberate, hips snapping forward with every stroke, driving jake and jay’s cum even deeper.
he kept you in missionary the whole time—face to face, eyes locked, his body pressed flush against yours. one hand gripped your thigh, spreading you wider. the other slid up to wrap gently around your throat, holding you there.
“open your mouth.”
you obeyed instantly, lips paring, tongue slightly out naturally.
sunghoon leaned in first. he gathered spit in his mouth and let it drop slowly onto your tongue, watching with a smirk as it landed right on your tongue. jake moved in simultaneously, hovering above you as he spat directly into your open mouth, a thick string of saliva mixing with sunghoon’s. jay too—tilted your head upward gently before spitting into your mouth as well.
all three of their spit mixed together on your tongue—so fucking humiliating in the best way.
“swallow, baby, c’mon,” jay murmured, kissing your cheek. sunghoon tightened his grip on your throat just a little, you swallowed the thick saliva, throat bobbing under his palm. the taste of all three of them made your pussy clench hard around sunghoon’s cock.
“fuck, she just squeezed me,” sunghoon groaned, picking up the pace, fucking you harder. “such a nasty little cumslut.”
jake chuckled, leaning down to kiss the corner of your mouth as he palmed your tits. jay’s hand slid down to rub your clit as sunghoon pounded into you deeply—”nasty little girl, look at you,” jay murmured, caressing your hair.
“you love being used like this? who taught you to be so slutty, baby, hm?”
sunghoon’s eyes never left yours—your half–lidded, crossed, rolled to the back glossy eyes. he fucked you relentlessly, wet squelching sounds of his cock stirring the mixed cum inside you filling the room. his hand stayed around your throat as he fucked your cunt like a fleshlight, claming while jake had his fun with your tits, and jay continued teasing your clit from the side.
you were a complete mess—trembling, moaning, drooling… barely got to focus on the moving ceiling above. your tits bounced and jiggled with every thrust—a sight jake could cum alone.
sunghoon’s thrusts grew sharper, deeper, and more desperate. his grip on you throat tightened just a fraction as he groaned against your lips. “fuck… ‘m cummin’—”
he straightened up, canines digging into his bottom lip as he buried himself to the hilt and came hard. the hardest he’s ever ejaculated. thick, hot ropes of cum flooded and washed over deep inside you, mixing with the cum from jake and jay before.
as usual, he kept grinding into you, pushing every drop as deep as possible while his cock twitched inside your overused, overfilled pussy.
at the same time, the two boys kneeled on either side of your head—jerking themselves off furiously above you, breathing heavily. “shit, shit, shit,” jay rasped, thick spurts of cum landing across your tits and collarbones.
“oh, gosh, yn, please,” jake whimpered, following just right after as he painted your face and chest with more warm cum. their softened cocks rested on your chest, with jay’s twitching again as it rubbed your nipple.
you lay there, panting, body covered in their cum—tits glistening like you milked out semen, pussy leaking a creamy mix of all three of them, throat marked from sunghoon’s hands and jake’s bites, lips swollen from jay’s kisses.
the room was silent except for heavy breathing and panting.
sunghoon pulled out—agonisingly slow—watching his thick cum drip and burst out from your stretched hole. fuck—what a sight, he thought. he wasn’t sure if this would be the last time. your pussy twitched and spasmed around nothing, thighs trembling with orgasm as you shivered.
jay leaned to press a chaste kiss on your cheek. jake’s softened cock caressed your other cheek as the owner pumped the mixed cum back inside your puffy pussy with his fingers. sunghoon pressed a soft, loving kiss to your lips.
“you’re our secret girl now.”
you lay between them—as the three sworn, soulmates bestfriends who used to swear they had no secrets finally agreed on one secret:
they would share their perfect little side chick—away from their girlfriends, and away from all the other guys out there.
jake's brain chemistry gets altered after he sees you covered in rose petals as you take a bubble bath with him.
w.c: 5.9k
themes: WARNING: smut, p in v, grinding, cursing, gf!reader, bubble baths, jake gets aroused seeing you wet and is obsessed with your chest, breast sucking, reader being a tease, kinda dom!jake putting you in your place, this is my first smut idk how to tag this sobs
author's note: i wrote this fic a while ago but this is the revised and improved (?) version & i decided to just repost it. this is a gift for my girl @simjakedly cuz i love her sm (everyone plz plz plz check out her works they're SO good). hope u like itttt nanda thanks for being my #1 on tumblr these past few months have meant a lot <3 (more notes at the end) (masterlist) absolutely NO plagiarizing my work.
sim jaeyun has a problem.
at least he thinks he does. he's definitely gonna have to search this up online somewhere to check if this was normal or not.
his eyes travel up and down your neck that's in full view with your hair tied up, across your shoulders, and the cleavage and swell of your chest as far as his eyes could travel on, before being obscured by the soapy suds from the bubble bath you had forced him to take with you.
but it wasn't seeing you wet from the bath and covered in suds across from him that got to him.
well, that too. but what got him really twitching underneath the water... was seeing the rose petals that he had gotten you for date scattered across the water and resting allll over your skin, some big some small, marking you like moles that he just wanted to kiss over and over again.
you raised an eyebrow at him. your boyfriend had been quiet for a while, just staring intently at you with that look for a while, the look he gets when he doesn't know what to do with himself when you look so delicious and warm for him (which honestly, was all the time for jake).
you gave him a small smirk. "you ok over there?" you called out teasingly.
that seemed to snap the man momentarily out of his thoughts. the boy blinked, eyes travelling up from the rose petals and suds around your neck, coming up to meet your eyes.
jake huffed out a sigh, leaning back against the edge of his side of the tub and sinking a little bit beneath the water, legs opening to go on either side of your waist where you sat opposite to him.
he gave you an annoyed look.
"why the hell are you sitting all the way there? why aren't you on my lap?" he grumbled.
you let out a small hum as you lifted your arms up from the water. stray, wet red petals sticking to your skin as you stretched them above your head, arching your back and puffing out your chest a little as you let out a small moan.
"but i'm so comfortable on this side~" you said in a teasing tone, acting innocent despite the cheeky smile you made no effort of hiding on your face
jake's eyes immediately went up to your arms before immediately falling back to your chest. your nipples were so, so close to being revealed, but the darn bubbles still kept you barely hidden from his hungry eyes.
your smirk widened. your boyfriend was just so obvious sometimes.
you brought your hands down slowly to caress your neck and shoulders before floating over your chest.
"besides, i think you like the view from rightttt over there, hmm~?" you chuckle, dragging the petals down your skin and over the swell of your chest, bringing them over your nipples and giving your right breast a little squeeze, lifting them over the bubbles so that he could get a better look.
jake's eyes darkened and his breathing and heart rate stuttered, eyes narrowing and darkening as he let out a little growl.
"the fuck are you doing?" he snarls, feeling his member twitching beneath the water, the telltale signs of him getting hard.
"hmm?" you feign, sitting up straighter and tilting your head at him. "i'm just relaxing jakey. are you not right now? is the water too hot for you?"
jake's eye twitched. "don't act like you don't know what you're doing." he said accusingly. "your sitting there all wet, covered in the roses i bought you for our date today, and you think my mind isn't screaming at me right now?"
you slowly traced his calf under the water next to you, running your fingers up and down his leg.
"and just what is your mind screaming at you exactly?" you tease, licking your lips, his gaze falling on the shine of your lips.
the ends of jake's mouth tugged down into a scowl, the top half of his body moving up to grab you.
"why don't you get over here so i can show yo-"
he's suddenly cut off as you bring your right leg up, placing it on his chest and stopping him from leaning towards you, your smile widening as you felt him freeze. you leaned back on the tub's other edge and gently applied pressure on his chest with your feet, making him lean back.
"hasty aren't we?" you tsk, watching the restraint in his eyes waver. he let you push him back, his eyebrows furrowing even more. you ran your foot down his chest, feeling it heaving, warm breaths falling over your foot as you dragged it down and down, stopping right over his member that you knew would be hard.
jake gave you a look that screamed 'watch it', before you're gently pressing down on him. you gave a sly smirk at the groan that escaped him and watched the water slosh around from the movement of his hips bucking up, watching him lean forward and hang his head, breathing in and out faster now.
he staggered in another shaky inhale as he looked at you through his hair that fell over his eyes.
"you think you're funny?" he hissed, yet made no move to move you, his hand coming down to massage your foot resting on his dick. "'think it's my turn to laugh now baby."
you tilted your head, feeling yourself become wetter between your own legs despite the water surrounding you. you sat up and grabbed a petal floating between you two. without breaking eye contact, you lifted it and gave it a slow, soft kiss. jake's eyes followed the movement, grip tightening on your foot.
your other hand lifted and brushed away the petals over your chest, now giving your boyfriend a full view of your wet breasts, bringing down the petal you kissed to caress over one of your nipples, feeling it harden and perk up at the softness of the flower.
you heaved out a sigh, bringing it back up and then flicking it at his face. you tried not to laugh at the stunned look on jake's face.
"that funny enough for you?"
you let out a yelp as your suddenly dragged forward by your foot, falling chest to chest against jake, the soapy water sloshing back and forward and spilling a little over the edge of the bathtub.
jake slams his lips over you before you could tease him any further, one arm going behind your head to grip your hair and the other winding low around your waist, moving you to forcefully grind down on his hard member.
you gasp against his lips and jake growls, diving back into you with his tongue, licking your lips and tongue furiously and just as furiously bucking his hips up into you, feeling your thick wetness seeping out and coating him. you whimper at the feeling, arms winding around his neck as you kissed him back harder, letting him take the lead.
he pulled your hair to tug your face away from him, tilting it upwards so that he could look down at you with a flushed, angry look.
"not laughing anymore huh? cat got your tongue?" he snarled. his eyes fell from your blushing cheeks down to your neck and chest where a few petals remained stuck on your skin. he's tilting your head back even more and opened his mouth to bite you right where the roses where, tongue coming out in between bites and kisses to lick at them as he began placing hickies on your warm skin.
he grinded you down harsher, growling at every little shaky mewl and whine that fell from your lips.
"god you look so fucking good." he groaned. "so wet and pretty, covered in roses. just for me, yeah baby? gonna let me cover you in marks the same colors as the roses, won't you?"
you let out another high pitched moan as you felt jake's sucking increase, feeling him playing with the petals over every patch of skin he sucked hickies over.
his dark eyes are hazy with lust, tracking every shift of your body through half-lidded gaze. watching as rose petals cling to your damp skin before he claims each spot with his teeth.
his voice is wrecked as he speaks.
"fuck. riding me like this while i mark you up? so pretty covered in wet roses baby... ughh..."
his hands grip your hips tighter when you grind down particularly hard, a groan tearing from his throat as water sloshes over the edge. the bathwater does nothing to hide how badly he wants you, not with his cock twitching under that perfect heat between your thighs.
he leans forward to catch a petal stuck to your collarbone between his teeth before sucking another bruise right over it.
"gonna make sure... every petal leaves a mark." he nips at your pulse point. "my fucking artwork."
jake pulls back just enough for you both to watch one single red petal drift between where your bodies are nearly joined, only for him snap his hips up sudden and rough, sending it swirling away in the ripples before sealing his mouth over yours in filthy claim.
the bathroom is thick with steam, the scent of roses and vanilla scented bubbles clinging to the damp air. jake leans back against the sloped tub, water sloshing gently as your thighs bracket his hips, fingers tracing idle patterns over your slick skin where rose petals stick like temporary tattoos. his eyes are black with want, tracking how each slow grind of your hips makes more petals float around in soapy ripples.
his voice is almost a ruined rasp. "look at you… fucking showing off now." his palm splays possessively over your stomach when you arch into another roll of your hips. "pretty girl putting on a whole damn performance-"
the words cut off in a hissed curse as you grind down again on him, bubbles frothing between where your bodies are joined. one of his fingers trace a petal near your perked nipple before he's slowly leaning down and licking it before encasing the bud with his lips, using his tongue to drag it towards your nipple so that he could clamp his lips around it and sucking hard, causing you to let out another drawled whimper as you grind down in jerks.
jake's heart skips a beat as he feels your body respond, of your whimper vibrating against his lips still sealed around your nipple. the bathwater sloshes wildly as you jerk against him, sending petals swirling in chaotic circles around your tangled forms. his mouth is still working at your skin, voice muffled and rough as he chokes out, "fuck, that's it- squirm on me. justtt like that…"
his free hand slips between you, but not before snagging a stray floating petal, thumb finding your clit with ruthless precision and using the petal to press over your pearl while his teeth scrape over the pebbled peak he'd just been sucking. the dual sensation has you gasping and eyelids fluttering, hips stuttering in ragged little circles as pleasure coils tight in your gut.
you took in a deep breath and scoffed, leaning forward to be chest to chest and wrestling your arms around his neck, causing him to pause his rubbing on your clit as he gives you a suspicious look.
"careful now," you whispered leaning into his ear, right hand lifted to slowly twirl his hair with your fingers. "we wouldn't want you to be alone in this tub now do we?"
jake's jaw tightened and he clicked his tongue in annoyance. "try leaving this tub and see where that gets you. i fucking dare you." he said in a low tone, clear warning laced in his tone.
you let out a little giggle, giving another slow rock over his member that had him clenching his fists. leaning over to hold your face above your boyfriend's, lips skimming his in a near kiss.
"oho~ is that a challenge?~" you purred, tugging on his hair with the hand that was twirling the strand.
nostrils flaring, the boy's dark eyes flashed with a dangerous mix of arousal and irritation at your teasing. that little tug on his hair sent a shockwave straight to jake's cock, making him twitch beneath you in the water. his jaw clenched tighter, instincts bristling at being taunted.
"you think this is funny, testing me?" he rumbled through gritted teeth.
letting out a him and pretending to think with a tilt off your head, you looked down at him with a sly smile. "well, just a teeny tiny bit." you leaned back down to litter his face with kisses, shivering a little as the movements caused you to grind over his fingers that were still frozen over my nub.
one second you were peppering his face with kisses, the next you were being yanked forward. jake's lips crashed against yours in a searing, possessive kiss that stole your breath, teeth nipping at your bottom lip hard enough to sting before his tongue invaded. the water sloshed violently as he hauled you fully onto his lap, one hand gripping the back of your neck like a vice while the other slid down to squeeze your ass roughly.
he broke the kiss to growl heavily on your lips
"teasing me? bad fucking idea."
then without warning, he flipped you around so fast bubbles flew everywhere. now it was your back pressed against jake's chest as the steamy air hit exposed skin for half a second before his mouth latched onto that sensitive spot where shoulder meets neck and sucked bruise after bruise into existence over where rose petals stuck there earlier.
he kissed up your neck and bit your ear lobe, opening his eyes to spot another stray petal floating in the water and grabbed it in a flash with his left hand with ease, bringing it back down to your clit where his thumb began rubbing the rose petal in slow, maddening circles, just enough pressure to make your thighs tremble but never enough to truly push you over. his other hand splays possessively across your hipbone, fingers digging in just shy of painful when you gasped and tried to grind down for more friction, one hand of yours gripping his thigh and the other ineffective holding the wrist off the hand that was running the petal on you.
he tutting mockingly into your ear. "aww, what's wrong? thought you could tease me all night and now this is all it takes?" his free hand drags up your ribcage to flick an exposed perked nipple.
the petal finally shreds from the relentless friction against your clit, leaving a smear of pink pigment on flushed skin. jake doesn't miss a beat, replacing it immediately with two fingers pressed together tight, resuming that same torturous pace while his cock throbs neglected beneath the water.
a broken moan escapes you, confidence suddenly diminishing as you jerk on his lap, grinding yourself down more on his now fully erect heard on.
jake felt your sudden shift, the way your teasing bravado crumbled into desperate, shuddering need against him. a dark, satisfied smirk curled his lips as he watched the back of your neck flush pink with every drag of his fingers over that oversensitive bundle of nerves.
"look at you… whining for me now." jake said, voice dripping with condescension and lust. "where'd all that sass go?" he bit down on the slope of your shoulder. not hard enough to hurt, just enough to make you jerk.
his two-fingered torture continued mercilessly; circles so light they were almost a taunt until finally he pressed down, firm and unrelenting while simultaneously grinding his hips up in one rough thrust beneath the water, letting you feel exactly how painfully hard he was. the friction alone had him gritting teeth.
the petal remnants floated around the two of you like pink confetti as steam rose off your bodies. jake's breathing ragged behind you while you squirmed pathetically between tortured pleasure he controlled entirely.
you turned around in his lap and leaned forward, draping your heaving wet chest against his and breathing hard, stuffing your face into his neck and beginning to pepper slow kisses into his neck, not pausing in your squirming but grinding down harder onto his fingers and wrapping wet hands around his neck.
you dragged your plump lips up his neck and kissed his ears that you knew were sensitive, nipping at his right ear lobe.
"sass is still there handsome." you breathed into his ear, threading and twirling your fingers through his hair and giving it a sharp tug, warmth blooming through your body from him hissing sharply and feeling his fingers twitch beneath your legs, loosing their rhythm. "bet you wanna fuck it righttt outta me, dontcha~"
jake's breath hitched violently the second your teeth grazed his earlobe, that one spot that always wrecked him. his fingers stuttered against you, rhythm breaking completely as a sharp hiss escaped through clenched teeth. the tug on his hair sent electric jolts down his spine, making every muscle in his body lock up for half a heartbeat.
"fuck-" his hips jerked upward involuntarily, chasing friction where he badly he needed it.
the smugness radiating off you was maddening. he loved it, loved how bold and bratty you got when teasing him. but right now? it was fucking lethal. his eyes burned into the side of your face as steam curled between you two; water sloshing wildly with each restless shift of either of their bodies.
you giggled, actually giggled at him.
jake's pupils dilate.
you brought a hand down to grasp the one teasing your clit, lifting it into the exposed air between you two, kissing his fingers one by one, nuzzling into the digits.
"my man really was such a gentleman today." you whispered lovingly, a genuine smile replacing my smug one this time. "took such good care of me, didn't you jakey?~"
jake's chest tightened at the sudden shift in your tone. the teasing edge melting into something softer, sweeter. the way you kissed each of his fingers so tenderly made something warm and possessive unfurl in his gut.
his thumb brushed your lower lip, watching with quiet intensity as water droplets slid down your cheeks from damp hair. the rose petals were wilting around you both. pink blooms sinking sadly into cloudy bathwater.
he cleared his throat, gulping.
"yeah… i-i did."
you hummed, taking his thumb tracing your lips into your mouth, licking it before giving it a harsh suck.
a trail of saliva connected between his thumb and your lips as you took it out of your mouth, looking at him from beneath lashes.
"hmm... thinking of giving him a reward. buttt i still wanna tease him a little. maybe i should leave him alone in this bathtub so he couldd take care of himself. does seeing me in wet petals do the trick for you jakey? is that all it takes?~"
jake's breath stuttered, his entire body going rigid as he watched the obscene string of saliva stretch between your lips and his thumb. his dark eyes tracked the glistening connection. hypnotized by it until you broke it with your words and that sinful little smirk.
for a second, jake just stared.
then something in him snapped.
the hand that you had been kissing and sucking went to grip your neck, a surprised gasp escaping your lips as you felt his fingers tighten, thumb pressing into your pulse point.
he pulled you forward, looming over your face as you stared up at him wide eyed.
a raw, dark look fell over his features, and you gulped this time in nervousness.
jake flexed his fingers around your throat, and he felt it bob up and down from unsurety. his grip tightened just slightly. not enough to hurt, but enough that you felt the promise of control in his hold. his gaze dropped to your throat, watching the frantic flutter of your pulse beneath his fingertips like a predator mesmerized by prey.
no words. just heat. just possession.
the water lapped quietly around you both as jake slowly but deliberately leaned down until his lips hovered a hair's breadth from yours, breath mingling with yours in thick tension.
the air between you crackled. every second stretched thinner and thinner with anticipation.
he looked over you, eyes half lidded now. there was a few seconds of silence before his lips moved.
a simple, hushed, "okay" was all you heard, and before you could process or question anything, his other free hand gripped your waist before he's suddenly slamming you down on his dick.
the sudden, brutal thrust knocked the air from your lungs. jake's cock sinking into you in one punishing motion.
water sloshed violently over the tub's edge as his grip on your waist turned bruising, fingers digging in hard enough to leave marks while he held you flush against him.
jake didn't speak.
he just moved.
hips jerking up sharply beneath you with zero finesse, pure control taking over. the wet slap of skin on skin echoed off tile walls as steam curled around both of your bodies. jaw clenched tight, eyes screwed shut like he was fighting not to lose it completely right then and there.
every ragged breath escaped through gritted teeth. the pleasure almost too much after teasing each other for so damn long.
his control was hanging by a thread. each upward snap of your boyfriend's hips drove you deeper into winding pleasure, waves crashing against the tub's porcelain sides with every rough thrust. his free hand, the one not still circling your throat, gripped your waist, veins popping along his forearm from restraint.
he wasn't gentle. this wasn't sweet or slow. it was claiming. every ragged breath that punched out of him sounded like a growl. every time he bottomed out inside you, it sent ripples through both your bodies and splashed more rose petals onto wet tile floors.
the bath had long since lost its relaxing atmosphere. now it just felt feverish and electric between panting breaths.
jake's breath came in short, controlled grunted gasps, each one hot against your damp skin as he continued to pound into you with relentless intensity as he chased the friction.
his thumb stroked your throat, not squeezing anymore, just a possessive touch while his other hand slid down to grip your ass hard, helping each brutal thrust upward. every time he bucked his hips up like this? it sent a shockwave through both of you. the wet slap echoing louder than before.
you gasped at the intense pounding, both hands clattering to grip the one squeezing your neck. "j-jake!" you moaned, whining as he squeezed slightly. "nghhh... w-wait!"
but he still didn't say anything.
jake ignored your pleas. not out of cruelty, but because his mind was drowning him. the way you gasped his name like that? the desperate whine in your voice? the wet roses he oh so charmingly brought for you clinging onto your skin reminding him of the hickies he loved leaving on your skin? all that only fueled the fire.
his grip on your throat tightened a fraction while his other hand clamped down harder on your ass, forcing you to take every single punishing thrust with no reprieve. water sloshed onto the floor in messy waves. half of the bubbles long since dissipated from all movement.
he was lost. lost in the heat of skin and water and sweat. lost chasing that high only your body could give him.
no words came from the boy… just guttural sounds tearing from his chest with each snap of hips upward.
the rhythm of hulk of his body beneath you became erratic. thrusts turning sloppier, more desperate as the coil in jake's stomach tightened to a breaking point. the grip on your throat loosened entirely now, hand sliding up to cradle the back of your head instead, fingers tangling in wet hair.
he brings his face even closer, and you think you're about to kiss but then he stops just a shy breath away from connecting your lips. he just tilts his head towards you until your forehead connects, noses touching but still not fucking kissing you.
"you gonna tease me again?" he asks in a low and deep, serious tone, making you feel the vibrations as you lose your mind, clutching desperately at his chest.
you tried to keep eye contact, but the feeling of your orgasm creeping up and the way he was fucking into your body knocked all air out of you. "w-what- hnnngghhh ughhhhh!!" you get cut off by a harsh and deep pound that bounced you hard on his lap, grinding onto him more as your pussy clench harder around him.
jake's lips curled into something feral, a smirk that wasn't quite a smile, more of a predator baring teeth. the second you clenched around him like that, his entire body shivered.
he felt it. felt the way your walls fluttered, the telltale tension coiling in your belly that you were close. and jake? he was going to make damn sure you fell first.
without breaking eye contact or foreheads, he shifted just slightly, adjusting the angle so his next thrust hit even deeper, right where it would wreck you most, making you cry out. at the same time, his free hand slid between your bodies and pressed two fingers hard against your clit again. not teasing this time, but ruthless. rubbing tight circles with perfect pressure while still pounding into you from below.
the water trembled violently with each movement and jake let out a deep sigh that ended with a growl.
"i said..." a harder thrust "you gonna tease me again? my baby gonna give me what i want next time? or am i gonna have to punish her?"
his voice was pure gravel. low, dangerous, and vibrating with the weight of his dominance. each word punctuated by another brutal thrust that made your vision blur at the edges.
the threat in his tone wasn't empty. he could see it. the way your body trembled on the edge, how every nerve ending sparked from overstimulation. but he wanted words. wanted you to admit you'd tease him again… or beg for forgiveness.
either way? you were gonna get it.
his fingers on your clit pressed harder, enough that it burned in a good-bad way. and when he spoke again? it came out as a dark purr right against your lips.
"answer me y/n."
you shivered at the power that rolled over him, deciding that caving in right now seemed better then denying either of yours' release any longer.
you choked, lips trembling to get the words out. "gonna.... mmhmm... g-gonna be good. n-no more... huhhh... fu-uchkkk teasing- j-jake. please... im s-so close!"
the second those desperate, pleading words left your lips, jake's entire expression shifted. something primal and satisfied flashing in his dark eyes. that was all the confirmation he needed.
he rewarded you immediately.
the hand on your clit switched from punishing to perfect. fingers moving in slick, quick circles that matched the brutal pace of his hips. every thrust now aimed directly at that sweet spot inside you. every snap of his pelvis calculated to push you closer and closer to the edge.
a rough groan tore from jake's chest as he felt how tightly you clenched around him. your body betraying just how close it really was. steam still curled off both sweaty bodies, the water long gone lukewarm but neither cared.
jake felt the exact moment you shattered, your body tensing like a bowstring before snap, a broken cry tore from your lips as your orgasm ripped through you, waves crashing over every nerve. jake didn't slow down. not even for a second. he rode it out with you, hips still pistoning upward to milk every last shudder and twitch from your overstimulated body. but he wasn't far behind. the way you clenched around him in those aftershocks and the desperate little whimpers spilling from swollen lips sent him hurtling closer toward his own release with zero mercy.
his thrusts grew jagged, less controlled and then suddenly, he was flipping the both of you over, the front of your chest crashing into the edge of the tub with your hands gripping the edge and head dangling over, breasts pressed to the cool porcelain as jake grasped your hips from behind, lifting them up and looming over you, continuing his pounding to chase his release.
jake's breathing was ragged, his muscles coiled tight as a spring with the effort of holding back, just long enough to savor the way your body yielded beneath him. water dripped from his bangs onto your shoulder blades as he leaned over you, one hand braced on the tub's edge while the other gripped your hip hard enough to leave fingerprints.
the sound of skin hitting wet skin echoed off tiles, alongside jake's guttural groans right by your ear every time hips collided.
his release hit him like a lightning bolt, white-hot and electric. a strangled groan ripped from his throat as he buried himself to the hilt, hips stuttering wildly just as his orgasm tore through him, finishing and dumping everything he had inside you.
for a few heartbeats, he just shuddered above you, every muscle locked tight as pleasure wracked his body.
he didn't pull out. not yet. instead, jake slumped forward, forehead pressing between your shoulder blades and panted against your damp skin like a man who'd just run miles without stopping.
the silence that followed was thick… only broken by heavy breathing and occasional drips echoing in steamy bathroom air.
he stayed like that for a long moment. forehead resting against your back, both yours breathing slowly evening out as the aftershocks of pleasure subsided. the water had gone completely still now, just quiet.
eventually, jake pressed a soft kiss to your shoulder blade. then another to the curve of your spine. just affection in the form of light touches while catching his breath. the steam had long since dissipated leaving just warm humid air between both bodies, but your boyfriend made zero move pull away yet.
you felt him begin to slowly press kisses on your neck and shoulder blades, before he's finally pulling out.
the australian exhaled a slow, content sigh as he finally eased out of you, careful to avoid any sudden movements that might startle or overwhelm. his lips trailed one last kiss up the slope of your neck before straightening slightly.
the water was getting cold.
he reached over to turn on the faucet again, adjusting the temperature back to warm so fresh water could fill in where it had been displaced from all movement earlier. bubbles started reforming on surface, and rose-scented steam curling upward once more.
jake trailed his hands down your body till the landed on your hips, and gently turned you around, his hands warm and careful as they guided your body to face him. his dark eyes, still slightly hazy with lingering pleasure, scanned your face, taking in every detail. the flush on your cheeks till the damp strands of hair stuck to forehead.
you both looked at each other for a few seconds in silence, before he lowers his eyes down to your slow heaving chest, watching it rise up and down, eyes locking onto the bubbles and what's left of the rose petals clinging to your skin like a lifeline.
without a word, he leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to your lips. and then he's burying himself slowly into you again.
the kiss started gentle, almost sweet. but jake couldn't resist deepening it. his lips moved against yours with quiet hunger, the taste of water and shared breath mixing between you. one hand cradled the back of your head while the other slid down to press against your lower back, pulling you closer until there was no space left between.
you broke the kiss with a groan, feeling your walls weakly flutter and grip him, still wonderfully sensitive. "easy boy." you scolded him like you would a dog, flicking his forehead.
jake scrunched his nose at the forehead flick but ignored your scolding.
instead of easing up like a sane person would, he nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck, lips brushing over damp skin as he inhaled deeply. the rose scent clung to both of you now; sweet and floral mixed with sweat.
then he's lifted your right leg slightly, hooking it over hip so he could kiss down your jawline then lower.
lips traced a slow, worshipful path down your collarbone, each kiss lingering just a second longer than the last. his teeth grazed lightly over your shoulder
a full-body tremor ran through you at the sensation that had jake smirking against your skin. smug bastard. he knew exactly what he was doing. knew how sensitive you were post-orgasm.
his hands slid around to grip either side of waist as continued mapping kisses lower down then dipping toward chest with no hurry whatsoever.
he took his time. kissing every inch of exposed skin like he was memorizing it. when he reached the curve of your chest, his lips hovered just above one peaked nipple, breath warm against damp skin.
then finally he closed the distance. a soft, open-mouthed kiss to your nipple first, then a teasing lick. not quite sucking yet. just tasting an savoring how sensitive you were after everything that had happened.
his hands squeezed gently at your hips all while doing this, keeping you anchored close as steam curled lazily around both bodies once more.
you sighed in bliss, eyes closing and tilting your head to lean comfortably on the tub and running my hands through his hair, letting him do what he wanted.
jake melted into your touch. the way your fingers threaded through his damp hair sending little shivers down his spine. it felt nice, like something out of a daydream.
his lips finally sealed over one nipple, sucking gently at first, testing the sensitivity before gradually increasing pressure with each pull.
the warm water lapped around you both once more.
one of jake's hands slid up to cradle your neglected right breast, thumb brushing in slow circles while his mouth worked on the left one. the other hand remained on your hip, thumb absently stroking skin there in quiet rhythm. he switched to your other nipple after a few moments, treating it with the same devoted attention. kisses, licks, and soft sucks. every now and then he'd nip lightly with his teeth just to hear the little gasp it pulled from you.
at some point, jake leaned back slightly. only enough so he could press a proper kiss right on your lips again, softer this time. a slow brush of mouths that tasted like shared breath and love.
"next time..." he starts, leaning his whole body weight on top of you, grinning slowly as you scrunched your face at the feeling of himself nudging himself deeper inside, "just sit on my lap when i tell you to."
"sigh... yes sir...."
maybe next time you can beg jake to see him covered in wet petals too.
author's note: BAHAHAHA i'm actually so embarrassed right now GOODBYE- it's not that good it's my first time writing smut but i've really been wanting to write this one soooo yeah. idk how other writers write smut so well. hopefully this was good enough T_T
jungwon’s body laid sprawled across the coffee table in front of him, an empty cup sat beside him, and his mind barely sober. the incoherent babbles pushing past his lips were something neither of his friends paid attention to, both jay and sunghoon being more focused on finding your contact name in jungwon’s phone.
you picked up after the first ring. “jungwon?” your voice came through, a hint of worry carried with it. “is everything okay?” you pressed further, unaware of the two who exchanged a short glance to one another at your inquiry.
“hello? this is sunghoon.” sunghoon clarified with an awkward pause. “don’t get mad at us.” jay interjected from beside, his voice attracting jungwon’s attention whose head jerked up in interest. sunghoon hushed him.
“what happened? where is jungwon?”
“jungwon is drunk.” sunghoon admitted. “we were playing a game and he kept losing—”
“he’s seriously terrible, please let him know.” jay interrupted once more. sunghoon nudged him away from the phone, opting to bring the device up to his ear instead. “jungwon is drunk. like, really drunk. and he keeps whining about missing you.” sunghoon sighed, twisting his head to take in the sight of his friend—his head resting on top of his crossed arms with his lips jutted out, his cheeks puffed pink and hair poking in different directions.
from where he stood, sunghoon could see the way his eyes blinked sluggishly in an attempt to keep himself awake.
"give him the phone." you said, sounding far more awake and alert than you were just moments before. sunghoon didn't need to be instructed twice as his feet were already moving in the direction of the coffee table. he shook the younger boy awake. "jungwon."
jungwon groaned and burried his head in the crook of his folded arms. “leave me alone” he muttered, his voice barely above a whisper.
“your girlfriend’s on the phone.”
the speed at which jungwon shot up was downright comical. his eyes went wide in disbelief, frozen like a deer caught in headlights as his gaze locked onto the phone in sunghoon’s hand. “my girlfriend?” he echoed, his voice suddenly clear and devoid of any trace of slurring. sunghoon wordlessly passed him the phone, turning to jay before dragging the two of them out the room.
“jungwon?”
“baby.” jungwon sighed out, his whole body melting at the simple sound of your voice reaching his ears through the phone. “i miss you.” jungwon thought out loud, a warm smile forming on his face, mirroring the exact feeling burning through his body.
your chuckle carried through the line, prompting jungwon to smiling further. “i told you not to drink more than three glasses, baby.” you lightly scolded him. the remark made him let out a breathy laugh, his heart swelling as he pictured your usual disapproving frown he grew to love.
“it’s because of jay and sunghoon.” he reasoned in a whine.
you sighed softly, though there was no hint of irritation in it—nothing that suggested his presence was unwelcome or that you didn’t care about how he was doing. “you’re okay right?” you asked him gently.
jungwon nodded instinctively, despite knowing you couldn’t see him. “i’m okay now that i’m talking to you.” he admitted. his gaze drifted to the ceiling, only for him to wince and mutter a curse at the harsh brightness casting down. “i wish you were here right now.”
“i’m this close to leaving the house and running straight to yours.” he mumbled.
“if you do that i’ll be really mad.”
“you’re never really mad at me anyways.”
“i’m mad at you now.” you challenged him.
“mhm.” jungwon hummed. “sure, baby.”
you giggled before continuing to speak through the phone with your smile remaining. “for someone who’s supposed to be drunk, you got a lot to say.”
jungwon took a moment to let your words process before responding. “hearing your voice sobered me up a little.” he confessed, his tone noticeably smaller. “i haven’t been able to stop thinking about you all night.”
the unexpected confession rendered you momentarily speechless. and with the softness his voice carried, jungwon broke the silence once more. “i love you.”
“...suddenly?”
“it’s not sudden. i mean it—i love you,” jungwon insisted, emphasising every word. had he been there to witness, jungwon would’ve caught the shy smile spreading across your face, one you didn’t try to bite back in the confined space of your room.
“i love you too jungwon.” you returned.
“i love you more than you could ever love me.” jungwon one-upped you.
“that can’t be possible because i’ve loved you way before you’ve loved me.” you stated back.
“well i love you so much that i don’t need anyone else in my life.” jungwon declared.
the bold claim piqued your attention. “so you’d cut jay and sunghoon off if i asked?” you teased. part of you expected him to backtrack and admit he was just rambling whatever came to mind, while another part secretly hoped he’d stand by his words.
“i’d do anything for you.” jungwon replied, no hesitation found.
the tenderness in which he spoke—so sincere and personal—caught you completely off guard, even though a part of you had braced for him potentially sticking to his words. still, nothing you imagined compared to the impact of what he truly said, his words leaving you unable to respond back.
your lips ached from how hard you were biting them in attempts to withhold your grin. “you’re making me smile, jungwon. make sure you don’t drink anything else and have some water before you go to sleep, okay? i love you,” you reminded him. your heart was pounded unevenly at the thought of the boy on the other end of the call, who likely wouldn’t even remember half of what he’d said just a minute ago.
“okay, i will. just for you. i love you, i wish i was there right now to show you how much i love you but i will wait until i’m not out of my mind. i can’t wait to hug you and kiss you and just see you.” jungwon continued to ramble, his words never ending as new ideas formed the longer he thought of you.
“that sounds like a promise.” you laughed. “goodnight jungwon.”
in which riki would always be there for you, even when the masks fell. especially when the masks fell.
pairing cat noir!nishimura riki x ladybug!female reader wc 1.4k genre angst, hurt-comfort, miraculous au warning lots of miraculous terminology, mentions of death, injuries, vomit, profanity, riki's a yearner (and also lowkey impulsive, in true cat noir fashion), ft. danielle marsh as rena rouge! — note this is my debut as a cat noir fiend. pls accept me in my final form i don't play about him ❤️❤️❤️
“rena rouge, help!” riki cried out, desperately kicking at the door of danielle’s balcony. he would use his hands but they were full at the moment, too busy carrying your paralyzed body. “rena!”
“cat noir?” danielle looked down into his arms and gasped. “shit, ladybug!”
your body had been tainted, veins beginning to flow rotten, black blood through them— courtesy of cat noir’s cataclysm.
you gasped for air, desperation reflecting in the way you choked on your minimal breaths. your whimpers filled dani’s bedroom as cat noir carried you in, and he could barely keep it together.
his gaze kept shooting down to look at you. to look at the mess he made.
you were dying, and it was by his hand. his recklessness. his destruction.
“what the fuck happened?!”
“i’ll explain later— just help her!”
“i can’t help her, we need fu!”
“there’s no time!” riki wailed, laying your body on danielle’s floor. she shook her head, chest starting to rise and fall frantically in a way that allowed for her panic to seep through— you were her best friend after all, slipping away before her eyes.
she gulped, swallowing the anxiety that tested her composure. “cat noir, stay here with y/- ladybug. i’ll call fu.”
“wait, but i—”
“stay. here.” she stood her ground firmly, speeding out the room for her house phone.
it left you alone with riki, whose gut twisted at the sight of your squirming, moans of pain and discomfort the only thing he heard.
he was scared to touch you, he couldn’t go near you.
the last time he tried, he killed you.
“i’m so sorry,” was all he could whisper, sniffles pushing their way out despite his adamance on staying calm, because what right did he have to cry over what he did?
“c-cat noir… tikki…” you groaned, eyes closed shut as you gripped at your yo-yo. “huh? ladybug!” riki crouched down, careful to not touch you, but close enough to understand you.
“tikki? what about tikki?”
“you need… to h-help her.” your voice was tight, forced out in a way that told cat noir just how little life you had left. this wouldn’t do, he thought to himself. “what do you mean help her?”
he didn't get it until you said it.
“s-spots off.”
no. he wouldn’t.
riki turned his back immediately, refusing to look at your civilian form. “i’m not going to do it, ladybug.”
“cat, please–”
“i won’t–”
“take her to fu–”
“not without you!” he wailed, completely losing it. everything holding him together had lost their hold on riki, and he was a mess, sobbing as he heard ladybug’s movements slow down. he knew what he had to do, he had to save tikki– she was the kwami of the ladybug miraculous, after all.
but he couldn’t turn around. he couldn’t bare it.
“you have to t-turn around, kitty.” your voice was soft, void of the strength and confidence it usually carried, but you didn’t have it in you to pretend anymore. you didn’t have it in you to play ladybug anymore.
“i can’t turn around,” riki’s voice mirrored yours, no more than a murmur as he looked down at his hands, at a loss for further action.
the room was quiet, yet charged with the dread of the inevitable that the both of you carried.
“cat noir,” you whispered. “let me look at you… one last time.”
he froze, his restraint suddenly gone. he remembered the brutal truth, that ladybug was going to die here, and he had turned his back on her in her final moments.
he wouldn’t do that to her, to himself.
he turned around.
“...no.” you met his gaze, a weak smile the most you could muster as you watched the blood drain from his face.
the room had gone completely silent, overshadowed by the ringing in his ear. he began to shake violently, shivering as he tripped over his own feet.
"[name]."
it had been you all along. you had always been there for him, even without the mask on.
it was you who’d always found a way to make him feel better, you who always came to his rescue when his father tried to hold him back. you, who put everyone else before yourself.
you, who saved paris everyday, without anyone knowing.
you, who’d changed his life twice over.
this wasn’t going to happen.
he didn’t care that danielle was calling for master fu, he didn’t care that you were fully set on dying where you were, he didn’t care that you had no time left. he’d find a way to bring you back. you had done too much to be left to die, he wouldn’t stand for it. he knew what he had to do.
he regained composure, his steps purposeful as he started to pick you up. “[name], i’m getting you out of here,” he spoke absolutely, leaving no room for opposition. “i’m going to save the both of you.”
you mumbled, “well, hurry up, then.”
by the time danielle came back into the room, the two of you were long gone, her curtains blowing in the wind in your absence.
riki had been sitting in the same spot for hours, knees brought up to his chin as he stared at you from the corner of the room. you managed to survive the cataclysm, thanks to master fu’s masterful medicinal work and the ladybug miraculous slowing down the effects of the strike.
you were alive, you’d heal completely. but riki still felt it impossible to push down his guilt.
when you’d reached fu’s house a few hours earlier, he waited for you to be in the hands of the guardian before keeling over, all his horror and anxiety spilling out in bitter gushes of bile.
now, he was as responsive as you were, frozen in his place despite the late hour.
he stirred at the same time you did, watching your eyes flicker open as he quickly made his way to your side. he wouldn’t turn his back on you this time– he would be there for you now, all the way.
as your vision cleared up, you came face to face with the man in front of you. it was cat noir, you knew that much, but it was also–
“...riki?” your eyes widened as you realized. the same guy who you’d fallen in love with all the way back in high school, the selfless saint-of-a-man with a face that you still couldn’t manage to take your eyes off of, nishimura riki, was also your cunning, ever-charming jester of a superhero partner, cat noir. your cheeks flushed. talk about dramatic irony. “...huh.”
“are you okay? are you still in pain? are your veins still black?” he wasn’t even speaking directly to you, looking you up and down instead, observing for abnormalities. you chuckled, stopping his hand as it made its way to your wrist, “i’m fine, kitty.”
the nickname brought him back to reality, the nickname ladybug gave him. you knew it, you were ladybug. of course you were.
“right, uh– sorry,” he awkwardly inched back, sliding away a foot or two on his bottom. even if he was cat noir, you had a pathetic weakness when it came to nishimura riki, one that made you smile no matter what he did, as long as he was around.
you also weren’t completely disgusted by cat noir, but you’d never tell him that.
“you don’t have to be so stiff, you know,” you grinned, obviously in much higher spirits than you were in before. “identity reveals are supposed to be wholesome.”
he shot you a deadpan look. you understood immediately. “yeah, i know,” you replied to his gaze.
he still hadn’t said a word, almost frightened to say anything to you. he didn’t tell you what was up, but you knew anyway. you knew cat noir, you knew what was going through his mind– he was so predictable.
“it wasn’t your fault, riki.” you took his hand, running your thumb along his knuckles in gentle strokes. “you know it was monarch who threw you at me.”
“if i had just controlled my temper… not charged at him when i did—”
“he would’ve beat your ass, kitty,” you giggled, smiling ear to ear as riki subtly mirrored, grinning as much as he could running on negative sleep.
“riki, you did what you had to do,” you reassured him, noticing the way his face began lighting up at your words. there he was. “shit happens sometimes. that’s okay, ‘cause we always get through it, do we not?”
WORD COUNT : 25.5k PAIRING : yang jungwon x immortal!femreader GENRE : fluffy fluff, dash of angst, historical + immortal au
SYNOPSIS: you had lived a long life—emphasis on long—a fulfilling life nonetheless, but still, long. you wondered why whoever made you this way did it. to torment you? to torture you? had you done something wrong to begin with? whatever the reason may be, life started to become drab. until you met him. oh. what a devastatingly unfortunate occurrence it was to meet him.
AUTHORS NOTE : everything here is my own work. inspiration was briefly cast from a tiktok prompt mentioning immortals, but every other story plot is my own. aka this fic is my first tumblr child i raised her.
WARNINGS : mostly fluff, eventual angst, sort’ve slow build up, set in olden-day time but not historically accurate (no specific year set), brief mention of the word ‘fat’ (used in connotations of eating a lot of food), use of romanised korean words (noona, unnie, hyung, etc—i know, sue me!!!), mentions of alcohol and getting drunk/tipsy, slightly suggestive?? they get a bit kissy and handsy but not much more hehe, proofread, but im not that great at comprehension (a joke but there may be some spelling, grammatical, or general errors that escaped my reading)
SOUNDTRACK : ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : 1 / 1 6 ↳ no. 1 party anthem—arctic monkeys ↳ kiss me—sixpence none the richer ↳ somewhere only we know—keane ↳ a new kind of love - demo—frou frou ↳ what once was—her’s ↳ everything—the black skirts ↳ hurts me too - faye webster ↳ nothing’s gonna hurt you baby—cigarettes after sex ↳ heart to heart—mac demarco ↳ 面影 (omokage)—lamp ↳ i bet on losing dogs—mitski ↳ apocalypse—cigarettes after sex ↳ m. sped up version—anil emre daldal ↳ cry—cigarettes after sex ↳ 冬の影は哀しみ (fuyu no kage wa kanashimi)—lamp ↳ an angel cried—frankie vallie & the four seasons
· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·
any likes, comments, or reblogs are appreciated !! feedback is also welcome, just don’t be rude or disrespectful yk :p
Happy. Happy was all you could use to describe the events splayed before you.
With a wicker basket cinched between your hips and your forearm, a bountiful amount of fruit toppled atop each other, a fond smile grew upon your face.
Children played amongst one another, big, toothy grins plastered on each one of their faces. It seemed to have been a game of tag, but it had been a long time since you ever experienced life as a youngin. Perhaps they changed the name?
You settled the basket gently upon the barrels behind your station, an easy access when you needed to bake something.
You had been working at your stall for quite some time, although mundane compared to your previous jobs, it served its purpose on funding your lifestyle, and also had an underlying breeze to it all. After all, baking sweet treats had always been your forte.
The night market was about to begin, and you had just arrived from a quick restock over at Jinah’s fruit stall, your infamous apple crinkle pie having been sold out even before the night got started.
You shrugged off your thick coat from your shoulders, and hung it upon the small coatrack tucked in the corner of your little shop. It was a little shabby, but it was comforting.
Fall had just begun, yet the breeze it carried with itself was chilly as ever. This upcoming winter didn’t seem to be the comfiest of seasons.
Swapping the coat for the brown work apron that only operated from the waist down, you quickly tie a knot around your hips, securing the garment. Followed by removing the metal bands you had accessorised with—they were ancient, but no one had to know that.
Finally, you commenced baking.
In doing this, you effectively stopped thinking about the issues of your current life. You zone out. Never a working day goes by without a good hour or two of your time spent on baking mindlessly. A beautiful thing it was.
Your shop wasn’t open at this time, but people could still see you, and the remaining goods you had kept on display. The only factor that showed you weren’t selling yet was the sign on the table of displays, and a little sign just in front of your little tent. You preferred baking at the stall, but there was a communal hub for all necessities near the markets that allowed you to bake your goods. This was the only time you were out of the stall—albeit leaving to get supplies—which had earned you quite the pile of books on a little stool beside the coat rack.
It had originally been your stool to sit when you got tired or the stall had been slow, but you came to realise that when you sat, you always seemed to wish you had a book in hand rather than staring blankly at the beige interior of your tent.
Now, with your back turned towards the front, and your head in the zone, all aspects of this life seemed to fade around you, a blur in the background of your mind. Even the man who thought it’d be great to start a conversation with your back became background sound.
Wait, man?
“Pardon me?” you turned in shock, like a doe in the woods. Your hands abruptly stopped kneading the pastry as you saw who had been at the counter.
He had been wearing a modest brown hat, which matched splendidly with his brown suit. He looked to be quite wealthy. Not royal rich, but rich enough where he wouldn’t need to visit this side of town. He alone looked expensive albeit. His face with all the clarity in the world, a sharp jawline contradicted his soft looking cat-eye’s, quipped with a gentle smile, and not a hair out of place.
To compare your appearances, you currently looked alike to a stray dog who had jumped out of the market people’s garbage, whilst he seemed to be a freshly baked pie that the owner spent a good fortune of time perfectly curating. A drastic difference you found.
Despite your obvious difference in status, the man smiled warmly as he pointed behind you. “Could you give me a book recommendation?” he had asked earnestly.
With a look that still resembled shock, you shook your head and put on your customer voice, not wanting to break the boundary between buyer and seller. Besides, he looked like he could tear your stall down if you said the wrong thing. He wouldn’t though, right?
“Oh! Right… Uhh. Just one moment please.” you smiled at him before turning to the pile you had created. Your finger followed each spine of books, before landing on a dark purple, almost maroon, hard cover, the title ‘Profound Feeling of You’.
You carefully pulled the book from the stack and did a quick flip through to scan it. “Here.” you handed it to him. “Despite the intimate title, it’s quite an admirable love story. It’s one of my favourites.” an unknowingly fond smile spread across your face, similar to the one earlier, as you spoke about one of your favourite books.
He nodded, before grabbing the book from your hands graciously. “Thank you.” a smile that mirrored your own plastered onto his face. “I’ll be back once I finish this.” he held the book up and waved it gently.
You nodded in agreement. “All good.” you nodded, about to turn back around to continue baking, but he spoke up again.
“When will you be open next?” he inquired.
You pondered momentarily before responding. “I’ll be here ‘till the night market ends if you read fast.” you shrugged. “But I’m here everyday of the week from dawn to dusk.”
“Perfect.” he looked bashfully to the ground. “See you then, madam.”
“Good day, sir.” you bowed your head, finally resuming your work.
What a lovely afternoon.
—
Exhausted. Exhausted was all you could use to describe how the night market splayed before you.
Maybe ‘depleted’, too?
Moral of the story: you were rich off of pies, but your energy had depleted tenfold of that profit.
Dusk was slow approaching, a hazy orange sunset yet to be revealed.
This night, you hadn’t expected such a surplus of customers and it felt like you hadn’t had a chance to look at what you made anymore. Perhaps working with one extra person could benefit you; they could take the counter and you could bake away all your stress, but business was tough, and you wanted to stay a solo stall.
After what felt like years (strangely enough, you felt like the previous years you lived weren’t as long as this very night), your final pie was sold. You still had some remaining tidbits for those who had missed out on the pies, but no one really bought them as they preferred the whole package—you feed the stray animals around the market your leftover waste either way.
The night market had slowed down by this point, and a lot of stalls were nearing closing time—yours too.
The engraved wooden sign with the words ‘NO PIES’ made its appearance on your display table, with your hand adjusting its placement so it sat perfectly in the middle of your tablecloth.
“I just missed them, didn’t I?” a familiar voice brought you from your focus.
Your gaze lifted from the wooden piece to the same man from earlier, stood in front of your display. With a regretful smile, you nodded. “Sorry, just sold my last one.” you replied sheepishly.
The man sucked air in through his teeth. “Shame.” he tsked. “Heard you’re the best around.” he complimented slyly.
Oh.
Your heart skipped a beat, a feeling you hadn’t felt in an extremely longtime—maybe in forever—rose within you.
Before he could see the redness on your cheeks, you quickly turned your head away from the man, zeroing in on the books still stacked upon your stool. “Well- They are… pretty good.” you reasoned, clearing your throat as a frog seemed to have jumped in and clogged your airways.
People compliment your skill all the time, how is this different? Perhaps it was the endearing smile that stayed stuck to his face, or even the excessively handsome face of his that you couldn’t erase from your mind in this current moment. You don’t even know his name.
An awkward silence gathered between the two of you as, he too, cleared his throat before speaking up. “I finished.” he abruptly stated.
Due to your clouded, fogged memory from the busy day, your mind instantly blanked. “Finished what?” you asked genuinely.
The man almost scoffed in shock—not in a derogatory sense, but one of disbelief more-so—as you displayed your indifference to the interaction of the day earlier. He hadn’t said anything, he didn’t need to. He simply lifted the book you lended to him—your favourite, not to mention—and waved it around playfully.
“The book.” he then stated. Finally it clicked.
“You finished? Already?” you asked in disbelief. You weren’t the fastest of readers, but reading at least one book a day improved your speed. You’ve only ever finished one book in a day twice, and they were short stories, not a whole novel. Albeit, you didn’t have long to read them, but the point still stood.
He nodded, almost proud of this achievement. “Yeah.” he murmured, rubbing the nape of his neck.
“What’d you think?” you inquired gleefully.
A smile that mimicked your own earlier in the day appeared on his face. “Wow, it was… amazing.” he huffed. “I feel like a new person.” he stated with wide eyes—a bit too wide for your liking. Was this sarcasm?
You narrowed your eyes at him, making eye contact with his own catish feature. The movement made him burst to laughter. “I’m sorry!” he chuckled, a hearty laugh that almost made you drop your anger, but you stood strong.
You shook your head, turning around to complete your finishing tasks to close your stall: pack the fruit back into the basket to bring home, seal the bags of flour and sugar, stack the pies trays and tuck them into the barrel on the left. After all, no customers would come by this time now, and you were spent from the day.
“I thought it was peculiar.” His answer wasn’t any better to his previous.
You looked over your shoulder for a second to look at him before resuming your tasks and responding. “Peculiar how?”
He gave some time to contemplate before answering. “It wasn’t quite the love story I expected; why was there no happy ending? Why did he give up? Why did she let him?” He shook his head, although you couldn’t see it. “I felt a multitude of emotions I hadn’t felt in a good while when reading it.”
You smiled to yourself as you packed up the pie trays. “So, not peculiar?”
“…No.” he said with a hum, like he was thinking to himself.
You snickered shortly. “Perhaps, unexplainably life-altering?”
“Okay now, Ms. Baker, I wouldn’t go that far.” He scoffed, leaning onto a barrel you had placed outside of your tent, acting as a makeshift table for those that wanted to try your creations immediately after their purchase.
His name for you struck a chord in you, making you realise something; you still didn’t know each other’s name. At this point, you didn’t feel like the one to initiate that conversation. “Well, Mr. Crust, I would go that far.” you boldly stated. This was your die-hard favourite, you wouldn’t let it live down its name. Even the man before you had to learn to love it.
“Mr. Crust?” he inquired.
You closed the lid to the barrel, and bent down to the floor to grab the basket of ingredients you would take home. “Mmh.” you hummed. “Your suit is the desired colour I look for when baking my pies.”
He nodded along, gaze flickering down to the sleeve of his blazer, understanding the name given to him now. “I see.”
Lifting up the panel blocking customers from entering your tent, you exited your small stall and stood face to face with the rich looking man in front of you, no boundary between the two of you anymore.
“Well then.” you began. “I’ll be off.” you smiled and bowed your head slightly in farewell.
With a regretful look on his face, the man too, now dubbed Mr. Crust, bowed his head as a goodbye.
As you turned to walk the same path you take on your way home, his voice calling out to you prompted you to look over your shoulder at him.
You lifted your eyebrows with interest, a kind smile stuck to your face.
“May I walk you home?”
—
Nervous. Nervous was all you could use to describe how the night splayed before you.
Maybe ‘confused’, too?
You walked side-by-side with the man who you let borrow your book, and now you allowed him to walk you home? What were you, imperil? You were immortal for heavens sake! Just how mindless were you?
Perhaps it was the hopeful look he had on his face; or the friendly nicknames the two of you gifted each other; or the fact that he, despite maybe being busy, came back to your stall to provide you with a small review of the book you lent him.
Or maybe, you felt that you had played your life a bit too mundane till this very moment.
That was a possibility, too.
But as you stole a glance to the man walking beside you, perhaps there was a chance you found him just a little bit handsome too. Just a possibility.
“What made you create a pie stall, Ms Baker?” he broke the silence.
You pondered on the question for a moment. The real reason you started it was because you had tried practically every job that could be attained by your level of class, never trying to achieve anything higher than what you were currently; sticking out amongst a crowd wasn’t the smartest of ideas. So, starting this pie stall was a good decision, until it became a hit, and you discovered two things.
One: you were quite the baker.
Two: staying out of peoples sight was definitely the better option.
Finally, you landed on a plausible option. “I’m a delightful baker.” you boasted, shrugging your shoulders.
A quiet chuckle resounded from him at your remark. “Well, you know, I still haven’t tried some of your stuff…” he hinted at the absence of a pie in his presence.
You tsked, mumbling under your breath, although the quietness of the night didn’t quite help to muffle your words. “Not my fault you came at the wrong time.”
“Could you repeat that for me?” the man stuck one hand behind his ear and pushed it forward, making his ear stick out from the side of his head. A mischievous smile peeking from his facade entailed that he was playing around.
Rolling your eyes, your pointer finger met with his chest, poking him once gently. “Well, what about you? You want to know all about me, I haven’t had the chance to learn about you.” you finally inquired, finger retreating back to your crossed arms.
“Let’s see.” he thought to himself, head tilted to the sky as if some God would send down some information to help him out. “Well, I work at the law firm a few streets away from the markets.” he began, adding more. “I’m the owner of the business, like you.” he playfully nudged your shoulder.
You shook your head and snickered. “We’re not the same type of business owner.” you reminded.
“Sure we are.” he pressed. “Look how flourishing your business is!”
A fond smile grew on your face as you thought about your growth, hints of red blossoming on your cheeks. “Continue.” you averted the subject.
Beats of silence passed before he carried on. “I don’t have much else to say, the business seems to take up a lot of my life.” he chuckled, but he didn’t seem all that happy. You knew the feeling, becoming so consumed with your work, you forget that you’re a person.
You simply nodded along, the two of you still following the track, before an additional question popped in your head. “If you’re so busy, how did you read my book?”
He smiled. “Glad you asked.” he hummed, reaching into one of his interior pockets and pulling out a small notebook, about the size of your hand you’d guess.
He flipped to the page he wanted to show you and pointed at the writing he had jotted down. “Here.”
You read the words on the paper carefully, following the lines:
7:30am—Open shop and start work
9:45am—Send papers to Jaeyun
IMPORTANT: make sure Sunoo submits the file on the ‘Hong family’
3:20pm—Follow up on the ‘Jin’ case
4pm—Create a sche FINISH BOOK FROM PIE LADY!!! Incredibly important.
“Was it so ‘incredibly important’ that you cleared your schedule, Mr. Crust?” you stifled a laugh.
Instead of bashfully reacting, he stood proud with his decision. “Of course, my lady, why wouldn’t it be a priority?”
You pouted and raised your eyebrows playfully. “I’m unsure, perhaps you had some special crime cases you urgently needed to plow down?” you poked.
He shook his head. “No ma’am.”
From then on, a comfortable silence weighed between the two of you. The remaining walk wasn’t so long, but you (purposefully) walked slower on this night.
Finally, you arrived at your building. A modest one at best. To be honest, it looked quite dreary and not something to show to a man like him, but here you were. Who cared what he thought of your house anyway?
You opened your mouth to bid farewell to the man, but your front door swung open before a sound could peep out.
“You’re home!” a little boy’s voice rang through your ears, before you felt a force rush into your legs and a small ‘oof’ following the movement.
“Yujin!” you lit up at the sight of the boy.
“My lady! You have a child?” the man spoke with bewildered eyes.
Oh right. The man who walked you home.
“Oh!” you exclaimed. “Oh my word, this is not my son.” you chuckled awkwardly.
You bent down to the height of the little Yujin, patting his head gently before squishing his chubby cheeks. “Yujinie.” you began. “Go inside, it’s cold out here.” you rubbed at his arms to warm them up. “Let me say goodbye to a friend, and I’ll be with you soon.” you smiled at him, watching as he slowly reciprocated it.
He nodded, marching back into the warmly lit house. “Come in soon, noona.” the little boy demanded.
You dismissed him with your hand, urging him to go back inside. He finally did, and closed the door behind him gently.
“My roomate, you could say.” you clarified finally, turning back.
This only made him more confused. “You’re housing a little boy?”
“Oh, not at all. In reality, he’s housing me!” you smiled, not a thought to how confusing your words sounded to the man in front of you.
“Pardon?” he furrowed his eyebrows, almost laughing at how ridiculous you sounded.
“You don’t understand, good sir?” you tilted you head slightly.
“I can’t say that I do my lady.” he leant against a wooden post of your porch, arms crossed comfortably. “Care to elaborate?”
“His mother took me in. I’m living with him and his mother.” you clarified again. “Would you like my date of birth with that?”
He pondered before lifting himself off of the wooden beam. “I wouldn’t mind.” he shrugged.
You shook your head. “You’re a nightmare.”
“You look like my dream.” he flirted easily.
Fighting away the heat creeping your cheeks, you reached for the door handle without breaking eye contact with the man. “Sure.”
He smiled, but another thought seemed to cloud his mind. The man contemplated his choices before bursting out his thoughts.
“Jungwon.” he said.
“Sorry?” your eyes widened in surprise.
“Yang Jungwon. That’s my name.” he repeated, almost breathlessly.
“Yang Jungwon.” you tried his name carefully on your tongue, before nodding. “Suits you.” you smiled.
“And yours?” he tentatively asked.
“L/N Y/N.” you quipped, a small smile displaying itself on your face.
“Pretty.” he mindlessly said.
You shook your head, your body entering the house with your head still barely peeking out. “Good night, Jungwon.”
“Sweet dreams, Y/N.”
With one last departing smile, you closed the door in front of you. A different, wider smile etched itself onto your face.
You hadn’t felt this erratic in a while.
It was exciting.
—
Amused. Amused was all you could use to describe how the morning after’s breakfast splayed before you.
Yujin folded his arms over one another, his previous curiosity having been crushed to the ground and beaten to a pulp. He had asked a simple question: “Who was that man last night?”.
You gave a simple response: “Not your business.”
Perhaps you could’ve been lighter on the blow.
The little boy sat across from you, awaiting his breakfast from his mother patiently, had puffed his cheeks to the point of bursting and furrowed his brows angrily. Had it been any other annoying little child that was soon to enter their first year of school, they would’ve lashed out.
But this boy just stared deeply into the depths of your soul, hoping to pull the answer out of you spiritually in some way.
“Yujin-ah.” his mother, Yebin, had sternly scolded from the stove she had been situated. One hand was placed on the counter to steady herself, whilst the other stirred the pot of soup carefully. “Don’t pry into people’s lives my pea.”
“But-“
“No.”
Yujin huffed, leaning over the table once coming to terms with this reality. “You win.” he whispered, yet continued venomously. “But I’ll find out someday, noona.” he narrowed his eyes at you, only retreating when a rough call of his name from his mother warned him not to cross the line.
You scrunched your face at the devil’s spawn before you—he was actually the loveliest kid you knew, but that’s beside the point—and stuck your tongue out at him.
Whether it be maternal instincts or your best friend knowing you too well, the call of your name resounding from the place of the stove halted your actions subsequently.
This rivalry was far from over.
After overcoming the initial tension—whatever that may have been between a grown woman and an illiterate child—a steady conversation flowed. You asked about his day previously, he responded with an extensive amount of detail. He asked about taking a pie to his preschool to which you agreed with little hesitation.
He then asked once more about the man of last night to which Yebin had swiftly placed a pot of freshly curated soup in the space between you, unintentionally interrupting her little boy’s pry into your life.
“Let’s eat!” she clapped, a victorious smile across her face as she sat in the seat beside Yujin.
“Thank you for the meal!” You and Yujin graced before you poured Yujin a bowl, then Yebin, then yourself.
Even after living the years you had, manners were never forgotten, no matter how much older you were than the others around you.
After the two said their thanks to you, everyone dug in. As the weather had begun to chill up, this morning was particularly useful in having soup for breakfast, creating a fuzzy feeling inside your chest that could only be described as warmth and comfortability.
As you ate, a flow of conversation followed.
“Jinnie.” Yebin said. His soft hum inclined her to continue. “Is your hanbok ready?”
He nodded swiftly, head about to fall into his soup from how deeply he resonated with the taste of motherly cooking.
“Are you sure?” he hesitated; was he sure?
Yujin dropped his spoon in his bowl, furrowing his eyebrows to jog his memory of his routine. Only to discover he, in fact, did not leave his hanbok out. His silence gave enough of an answer, paired with his eyes that slowly peeked to his left to catch a glimpse of his mother. “Eom-“
“Yujin.” you interrupted. “I’ll get it.” you smiled.
You stood to put your bowl in the sink, not forgetting to say your thanks once more, before heading to where Yujin and Yebin’s room was situated. Your hand on the golden handle pressed down as the wooden barrier granted entrance into the room.
Your eyes immediately landed on the smaller closet that lay next to Yebin’s, a cute symbol of their bond as son and mother.
It was small instances like this, where you wish you could settle down and have a family of your own, much like the two most important to you, who sat in the kitchen as you spoke.
Waving away the thought, you opened Yujin’s wardrobe to pull out a blue and white with a silver trim hanbok, lifting it up to admire it.
You thought of it on the little boy and your heart melted. It was so cute you felt like containing it all and then spontaneously combusting with happiness. Was this baby fever? You shook your head violently, ridding any lingering thoughts of your forgotten dream; you can never have children.
As you emerged from the bedroom, you poked your head from the hallway to peek out. “Unnie!” you called, watching as her head spun in attention.
She was sat drinking a cup of tea with a book in front of her—Yujin had went to wash the dishes—before she focused on your figure, raising her eyebrows in interest.
You pulled the hanbok in her sight to see if it was okay, and she nodded swiftly, gesturing for you to come out of the hallway. “Jin!” she called softly.
Yujin peeked his head past his shoulder once before patting his hands dry, having finished cleaning the last dish. His little feet padded over to his mother, eyes casting down to the blue hanbok in her hand; one of his favourites.
He smiled graciously, taking the garment in his own hands carefully, bowing before taking off into his shared room with his mother.
A hum resonated from you. You had sat down beside Yebin with your head falling gently atop her shoulder. One of her hands raised to pat your head gently. “I know.” she sighed, sympathising with you. She knew about your situation. “Live vicariously through the two of us, my dear. I want you to.” Yebin proclaimed.
Hearing this, a few tears shamelessly welled in your eyes.
One night, you had confided in Yebin after she read through a historic paper dating 50 years prior to the present. A painting of you and some other farm workers varying in age detailed a horrible famine that induced the farming industry’s boom. You weren’t sure how the artist had managed to sneak a shot of you into the painting, but the realistic image of your face was discernible, an almost mirror replica of your own face currently.
With your eyes downcast, your lies of the person in the image being your late grandmother had not pierced through Yebin, her eyes holding a strong wind you had never witnessed from her before. Thus, she inevitably had became aware of your predicament of a curse, vowing to stay by your side until the day she was lowered into the ground with white roses thrown along with her.
“Thank you.” you huffed, voice barely breaking a whisper. “Thank you for staying beside me.” A tear fell and cascaded along the surface of your cheeks, wobbling gently against the edge of your chin before splashing onto your undershirt you wore around the home.
“Aw, baby.” she cooed, lips falling to a frown, as her hand reached to push a strand of hair behind your ear whilst delicately brushing off the path of tears staining your cheeks. “Never think I’d abandon you, ever. I’m here always.” she reprimanded, hand falling to pat your shoulder.
“Eomma! Noona!” Yujin’s voice was heard before he was seen, ushering you to cast away your face from the hallway and wipe the tears that had grazed your face. “Am I decent?” he smiled warmly, giving a slow turn in his hanbok that made him look smaller than he was.
You turned your attention back to the little boy in front of you, hoping that his happiness was enough to distract him of the reddened eyes and lingering sadness you harboured. “Perfect!” you clapped, a genuine smile spreading from ear to ear. “You’re so cute Yuyu.” you asserted, hands reaching out to squish his chubby cheeks.
He frowned and pouted, but made no effort to move from your actions. “Noona.” the words slipped past puffed lips. “What’s wrong?” he asked gently, like he wasn’t some four-year-old boy.
“Nothing’s wrong little man.” you reassured, hand moving from cheek to head as you patted his hair gently. “I just yawned before, yesterday still made me tired.” a convincing smile wiped away the boy’s worry for you.
He sighed. “If you say so.”
One more ruffle to his hair left him frowning in disapproval. “Noona!”
—
Shocked. Shocked was all you could use to describe how the surprise separated by a door splayed before you.
With a tug on the handle and a quick ‘see you later’ to Yebin, you opened the front door with Yujin trailing behind you. Before you could step out from the house, the man leant upon the wooden post of your porch caught your eye before anything.
Your eyebrows furrowed in your state of confusion. “Sir Jungwon?” you tentatively asked, like if your voice was any higher decibel, he would’ve vanished.
His cheeky smile appeared as you came into his vision. “M’lady.” he breathed out. He moved to slowly approach you before stopping abruptly, eyes falling to your legs—well, behind your legs.
“Hello little guy.” he peeped. His eyes cast to your face, rounded eyes seeking an answer.
“I’m dropping him off at the children’s care.” you responded. “Isn’t his hanbok the most adorable?” you quipped, cheeks feeling fuller as your attention laid on the boy behind you.
“Noona…” Yujin grumbled. He huffed and rolled his shoulders. “I’m not cute.”
You tsked, patting his back. “You say that, and then you look like this, Yuyu.” you assured, giving a sarcastic smile that made him shake his head and let out another huff.
No word was said as he left from behind you and started his journey early, leaving the two of you on the porch.
Jungwon chuckled as his eyes followed Yujin, feet inclined to move towards the little boy. “He’s the cutest.” Jungwon reiterated.
A fond smile grew on your face as you walked ahead of Jungwon. “He is.”
The two of you walked side-by-side with one another, not a word spoken to break the silence. For some reason, the silence between you felt comfortable and normal, like you had known each other previously—impossible considering your situation.
Your eyes surveyed your favourite boy in front of you, watching as he kicked at the dirt below his feet. As your eyes followed the direction of Yujin’s downward stare, your eyes widened like saucers at the dirt that had wafted to the hem of his hanbok.
Instinctively, you sped up to Yujin and stopped him from walking any further. “Little boy!” you snapped sternly, eyebrows furrowed as you dusted off his clothing. “Pay attention to what your feet are doing!” you huffed.
Without looking at him, you could tell Yujin pouted his lips. “Noona…” his sad sounding voice made you avert your eyes to his face in concern. Instantly, a cheeky smile grew on his face. “Made you look!” he teased.
Your resolve faded and a smile grew on your own face, not before shaking your head disappointedly. “Ah, Yuyu.” you hummed, still dusting off his hanbok. “What am I going to do with you?”
From where he stood, Jungwon couldn’t help the fond grin that threatened to spread across his face; the sight of you in such a commanding manner with a child made his heart flutter and his stomach flip 180°. You were just the most breathtaking thing to him, and he’d only gotten closer with you the day prior.
“Mr. Yang?” your earnest eyes met his own, eyebrows raising in anticipation. “Did you hear me?” you asked.
Jungwon shook his head to return to reality, the bubbles and glowing aura that fawned behind you started to die down and the dirt of the path returned to vision, he’d really gone and done it now, hadn’t he? “My apologies, could you repeat it please?”
You snorted at his wavering attention. “Do you have anything to wipe this with?” you repeated, head tilting playfully.
“…No, sorry.” he finalised. “I can go look-“
“No, it’s okay.” you reassured, lifting yourself from your squatted position. “I’ll go.”
“But, my lady-“
“Please don’t bother yourself, Sir. Yang. I know this place well, I know exactly where to get what I need.” you reiterated, nodding in assurance.
Whatever Jungwon’s next words were died on his tongue as he simply agreed to your argument with a nod. “Be safe.”
“I won’t be long!” you said, mostly to Yujin. “Stay with him, okay?” you called, pointing an accusatory finger at Jungwon.
He raised his arms in mock surrender to which you snickered at, before turning and heading off to your destination.
Meanwhile, Yujin had squinted his eyes at Jungwon, scrutinising his very being. Upon turning to the boy, Jungwon had caught quite the fright when realising he had already been watched.
“Alright, mister!” Yujin grumbled, hands settling on his hips as he looked upon the man before him, eyes unwavering. “You’re suspicious.” he finally stated. “I don’t know why, but you are.”
Jungwon chuckled. “Okay.” he smiled whilst nodding, moving to squat so that he levelled out with Yujin. “And why do you say that, child?” he asked, genuinely curious on this kid’s perspective.
Jungwon widened his eyes in disbelief. “Me?” he pointed to himself before looking around him quickly, surveying his surroundings. “What am I hiding?” he laughed in amusement. What a peculiar kid.
The boy looked side to side before gesturing for Jungwon to get closer. Swiftly, Jungwon grew closer, with his ear pointing towards Yujin. With a hand moving to cup around Jungwon’s ear, Yujin whispered quietly. “You’re interested in Y/N noona.” he finalised, hands falling to his sides after he spoke.
A soft laugh reverberated from Jungwon, his facade of hiding his allure for you starting to crackle. “Well, of course I’m interested in her, I want to be friends with her!” Jungwon tried to salvage his image.
Yujin just shook his head disapprovingly. “No, Mr. Liar.” he crossed his arms. “I mean, you want to court her, don’t you?” he raised an eyebrow, lips thinning.
If Jungwon were honest, the boy stood before him looked quite cunning. Fearless, even. He envied him.
“Why do you say that?” Jungwon questioned.
Yujin tsked. “I can just tell.” he hummed. “By the way, I’m her favourite, so if you want to try and take her attention, just know I’m first.” he whisked his head away from Jungwon quickly, chest puffed confidently.
Jungwon smirked. “Should we make this a competition then?” he entertained this idea, hand stuck out to shake the little boy’s own.
Peeking at the man through the slit of his eye, Yujin slid his own, smaller hand into Jungwon’s, shaking softly in agreement.
“Deal.” he contested.
“Deal.” Jungwon smiled fondly.
The boy was quite a cute kid, but currently, they were rivals. Neck to neck this battle would be.
Before Jungwon and Yujin could break both their clasped hands and intense stares between each other—it was mostly Yujin’s childish, yet cunning stare, and Jungwon’s amused one—you had arrived to witness the unknown chaos ensuing in front of you. “Have you two made friends?” you questioned, curious on whatever they were plotting.
They side-glanced at each other, until Yujin spoke for the both of them. “You could say that.” he shrugged.
Your eyes narrowed at them. “Were you guys bad-mouthing me? That’s quite rude you know.” you frowned, fawning an upset expression.
They just laughed at you. Maybe they were?
“My lady.” Jungwon smiled, hand reaching out to grasp your bicep. “You are one to be talked up about, not down.” he reassured, gently gesturing for you to walk alongside him.
You rolled your eyes. “Mmh, sure then.” you pursed your lips, averting your gaze. How can he say such things so… casually?
After you cleaned off the dirt from Yujin’s hanbok—which would most definitely need to be washed as soon as possible once he gets home—yourself and Jungwon walked on either side of the boy, holding his hands and surveying how he dragged his feet.
Each time he’d even barely graze the floor, you’d tug at his hand in your grasp, widening your eyes threateningly at him. And each time you’d do so, he’d meet you with a pout of his lips, almost tempting you to drop the stern act.
This continued until, finally, the bunch of you made it to the children’s care, spotting the normal lady that took care of the kids waiting at the front gate. She smiled warmly at you, hand outstretched to usher Yujin in. “Hello, cutie!” she gushed, cheeks becoming full with her smile. “I’m happy to see you once more, Yujin-ie.”
Her hand reached to pat his head to which Yujin smiled politely. “You too, Ms. Guk.” he bowed before rushing inside the house to meet his friends.
Boyoung, or Ms. Guk, turned to you with a smile. “It’s always a pleasure seeing you as well, Y/N.” she greeted, eyes drifting to the man beside you. “And this is…?”
Your eyes widened as she gestured to Jungwon. “Uh-“
“Her friend.” he smiled, hand reaching to shake with Boyoung’s. “I’m Y/N’s friend.” he reiterated.
As your eyes followed the path from his plump cheeks, to his arm which reached towards Boyoung, and finally landing on the rosiness settling upon her face as she too outstretched her own hand, you found yourself internally seething. He looks so happy? And so does she? And why does that make me angry?
A very abrupt and short conversation flowed between them, one that went unheard by your ears as your own thoughts clouded your consciousness. Only until Jungwon spoke up, were you brought from your internal turmoil. “Did you hear me?” he questioned, the friendly smile he seemed to wear constantly broke through your vision.
“Sorry?” you shook your head, eyes peering into his as you slowly focused back to reality.
He smiled gently at your confusion, finding your dazed and lost face amusing. “Let’s go.” he muttered, slightly above a whisper.
You found yourself nodding absentmindedly, turning to Boyoung to bid farewell.
“See you tomorrow, Y/N!” she waved. Once Jungwon turned away from her, she mouthed to you bring him with you and pointed towards Jungwon’s back, to which you politely smiled and nodded, knowing that if he decided to escort you again tomorrow, her wishes would be met.
You waved again before turning away, huffing once you started walking away from the centre.
“Penny for your thoughts?” his voice spoke gently, breaking the silence as his head tilted towards you, a smile that he couldn’t seem to wipe off gracing his face.
Air left your nose briefly as you snickered. “No thoughts, kind sir.” you concluded.
Jungwon retreated, nodding whilst pursing his lips. “Okay… sure. I’ll pretend I believe you.” he jabbed, hands conjoining behind his back.
You tsked, hand raising to slap his bicep playfully. “I’m not lying.” you prodded, arms moving to cross one another. You didn’t miss the way he hissed and rubbed at his arm.
“You’re so aggressive.” he sneered, though the playful smirk that played on his lips proved the absence of any anger.
“I’m not.”
“Sure.”
The both of you laughed off the jeers, walking alongside each other peacefully with an understanding silence settling. You casually admired the scenery, tall trees and lush bushes surrounding the dirt path you walked. Straight ahead were the stalls in which your specific pie stall was situated. It wouldn’t take longer than five minutes to arrive.
So, with the calm silence between you, you allowed yourself to soak in the ambience. It was a clear forecast, no cloud in sight, yet it wasn’t hot nor humid, a perfect temperature with a steady breeze. With the trees exponential height, the sun was covered, only patches of light littering through.
Though, this appreciation for nature overclouded your awareness, as you hadn’t caught Jungwon’s eyes sneakily surveying the area before looking at you in his peripherals. Upon seeing your distracted attention, he allowed himself to soak in the sight of you. You in all your glory. You in an almost angelic state. You in your most zen.
If he were honest, he’d known about you for a while. Maybe three months prior to your recent interaction was the first time he saw you.
The solitude you had found on this path with him countered the concentrated and intense energy you radiated from the little beige stall you called work. With the combination of baking inside the stall, and plastering a sign to tell customers you were waiting for your goods at the community hall, you were truly in your element.
He hadn’t only witnessed the times in which you were at a focused pace. He also watched as you flicked through pages of books you had begun reading, kindly declining any lingering customers and informing them to come at a different time later in the day as you had given yourself time for a break.
He admired your work ethic, yet balance with your own wellbeing. He believed you were quite wise beyond your years despite your young appearance.
He admired how you kept a consistent attitude to each of your customers, no matter how difficult or challenging they made your work.
He admired how hard-working you were, consistently keeping up the quality of your goods with no error—evident in each customers reaction whenever they take a bite, and, yes, he surveys them too.
And in the turn of your head as you glanced in his direction, eyes meeting his earnest ones abruptly, the world seemed to pause on its axis to solidify the moment. With interlocked gazes, you flashed a confused smile, a loose chuckle falling from your lips as you caught him staring. “What is it? Do I not look good?” you inquired, maintaining the eye-contact between you two.
Jungwon was almost breathless. Not look good? Not look good? You look heaven-sent! What do you mean ‘not look good’?; is what he wanted to scream at you, instead he opted for a clearing of his throat. “Of course not, there was a bug in your hair, I was just observing it.”
At the mention of a bug, your eyes widened. “A bug?! Where?!” you ducked, dusting off your head repetitively to rid yourself of the creature. “Is it gone?!” you asked hurriedly.
He swiped your hair twice, then brushed his hands together to dust them off before tucking them into his pockets. “Yes, it flew away.” he finalised.
You huffed a relieved sigh. “Thank God.” you breathed, hand falling against your chest flatly, soothing your pounding heart. “Why didn’t you say anything sooner?” you tsked, annoyance settling in as you registered a bug having been in your hair.
Jungwon smirked, not even looking in your general direction any longer. “If I did, I wouldn’t have gotten that show then.” he shrugged.
You deadpanned him before raising your hand jokingly to hit his arm.
He dashed away from you quickly, avoiding the threat of your hand. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” he chanted, though the amused grin never left his face.
Your annoyed expression remained as you sneered at him, tongue clicking against the roof of your mouth like an agitated mother.
Before any teasing could pursue, you had escaped the trail and made it to the clearing of the markets. You and Jungwon walked towards your stall together, with you turning towards him once you arrived to bid your goodbyes.
Despite not wanting to show your reluctance, you felt as though you had been a bit obvious. Obvious with the way you looked at him expectantly when you had arrived, almost wishing he’d hang around with you. Obvious with the furrow of your eyebrows when he gave you that same kind smile he always seemed to wear. Obvious with how you hesitantly lifted your hand to wave as he walked away backwards. And obvious with the sigh that escaped your lips as he finally turned away—thankfully Yang Jungwon was oblivious.
You asked yourself once more; why were you upset?
The two of you had only began speaking the day prior, how had he charmed his way through already?
As you shook your head, clearing the thoughts from your mind, you lifted the wooden divider to your stall once more and started a days work.
The same, repetitive routine that you followed each day to make a living. You weren’t ungrateful, but you wish that your past expeditions allowed for some free time and extra currency.
Alas, here you were selling pies.
A long day it would be.
Selling pies.
Alone.
With no Jungwon.
…
A long day truly.
—
Dejected. Dejected was all you could use to describe how the emotions caused by an absent Jungwon splayed before you.
Maybe ‘disappointed’, too?
It was nearing midday and your break was fast approaching, which meant you’d have to get a pie delivered to Yujin’s care centre soon. And even with the surplus of customers, although not different from any other day, somehow after meeting the cat-eyed man, you developed a longing for him.
How silly.
You had lived for a remarkable amount of years and here you were worrying for a man you’d soon outlive.
Silly and naive.
You blinked away the thoughts wracking your mind, the idea of him a distraction to your routine.
That’s right, he ruined your routine. Your articulate, monotone, and consistent routine.
But, was that something you wanted? After all, you craved for a change in your life, perhaps this is what you needed?
“Ma’am!” a customer called for your attention, snapping you out of your inner monologue.
Your eyes widened in surprise. “My apologies!” you dusted off your hands on your apron. “How may I help you?” you gave a light smile to the man across from you.
He, however, did not reciprocate. Instead he rolled his eyes before staring at you viciously, pupils burning holes into your very being. “Any pies left?” he inquired, eyebrow raised impatiently.
You thinned out your smile, looking at him blankly rather than kindly—he wasn’t deserving of your energy it seemed. You turned behind you, seeing only ingredients and no pies. If you had made one now, it would seep far into your much needed break. “Sorry, no.” you apologised. “I’ll be going on a break in two minutes, sir.”
He scoffed. “Can’t ya make one?” he challenged.
In response, you gave a sarcastic smile, one that looked so sweet that it’d rot your teeth. “Unless I were a witch who could speed up time, I’ve nothin’ for you.” you shot back. How did he expect you to whip up a pie like it was no one’s business? It took time to create and perfect each good you created, especially your best selling pies. No way would you sacrifice your highly curated and delicious pie reputation just to meet this man’s needs.
With another roll of his eyes he peered at his watch. “How long ‘till you’re back?” he inquired, hand falling to rest on his hip.
“I’ll say about half an hour.” you proposed. “I’ll have to drop something off before I can come back here.”
He groaned, mumbling under his breath. “Does she think I have all the time in the world?” he huffed irritably.
Again, you shot an overly kind smile at him. “If you have no time today, come tomorrow.” you finalised. “I’m open everyday, sir.”
“Yeah, yeah.” he shook his head. “I’ll be back then.” he concluded.
Normally when you hear those words, your heart swells with pride, but now you only felt dread for the future. “Okay, sir. I’ll be off now.”
Turning around, you untied your apron and hung it upon your coat rack before grabbing the already bundled pie you were going to bring to Yujin.
Once you gathered the bundle in your arms, you turned to leave the stall, asking one of your neighbouring stall owners to watch over in your absence, to which they agreed.
You breathed a sigh of relief, that man having been the cherry on top to your tiring afternoon.
Just when you believed you were free, you heard his voice again. “Excuse me, Ms?” his voice caused a shudder to rush down your back.
You peered past your shoulder before turning to look at him fully. “Yes?”
He pointed at the bundle in your arms, finger jutted in accusation. “Is that a pie?” he asked.
In your tent, you hadn’t realised how he seemed to tower over you, his height matching Jungwon’s you assumed. This factor caused you to cower backwards slightly, especially as he ushered closer.
“Yes, I’m delivering it to someone.” you spoke truthfully.
He didn’t like that. “So, you tell me there’s no stock, and yet, here you are, with the stock in your hands? I have gold, don’t you want it?” he asked, taking steps closer towards you.
Your friendly demeanour began to falter as it started to fade into fear. “I’m sorry, sir, but this is important. I must gift it.” you pleaded. “I’m reminding you once more that you can come again later today or tomorrow.”
He huffed, eyebrows furrowing as he crossed his arms over one another. “Sure.” he chuckled, feet moving towards you slowly. “But, I want one now.”
The commotion the man created had caused a small crowd to form, whispers gathering amongst onlookers. A majority of them being customers, ones you had served previously, some were workers that had come to grab a bite at the stalls, and others walked ahead, ignoring the whole ordeal.
But one person, entering the clearing of the stalls, spotted you and the man’s disagreement. His eyes narrowed as he zeroed in on you, before looking amongst the crowd. No one was going to help you? He saw the difference in stature between the man and you, no way were you getting out of there unharmed if the guy made a move.
Despite leaving the law firm on his break and coming to the market’s to eat at his favourite stall, he had a new objective. Help you.
He changed his direction from the stall he was headed to, and charged over to the crowd urgently. His height was enough to squeeze through the small group of onlookers—as they looked back to curse whoever was pushing past them, they widened their eyes at the height difference.
“Hey!” he bellowed, emerging from the crowd. He moved to stand between you and the man, covering you from the enraged customer. “What do you think you’re doing? Bothering a young lady?” he dared. He easily exceeded the man, eyes looking down towards him.
But the man held his ground. “What do you think you’re doing? You’re interrupting our conversation here!” he fired back.
The taller guy laughed. “Conversation, or harassment? I think one outweighs the other here.” he hummed. “Defending yourself is futile here, if I were honest with you.” he countered.
The man scoffed, shaking his head as he backed up. “I’ll be back!” he suddenly said with a playful voice, peering past the man who was covering you and flashing a menacing smile.
You shuddered, thoughts of closing your stall just to avoid him began to bubble in your conscience.
“Are you alright?” the male in front of you questioned genuinely. His clothing was oddly similar to the one Jungwon had worn the day before, though his black framed glasses outlined his razor sharp eyes, a mole dotted under one of his eyes, and another on his chin.
You breathed out in relief. “Yes, thank you so much. How can I repay you?” you reached into your pocket for some gold to hand over as payment.
His hands reached out to stop yours from grabbing anything. “Please, you don’t have to give me anything.” he smiled graciously.
You shook your head in disapproval. “No, no, you deserve something in return.” you glanced up at him.
He chuckled at your hastiness. “Ms, it’s okay.” he hummed.
Sighing, you pursed your lips. “I feel bad though.”
He, too, exhaled, eyes casting downward in thought. “Here.” he prompted. “I’ll escort you to wherever you’re heading so no big, angry wolves come pouncing on you again.” he winked.
You scoffed in disbelief. “You’re kidding, what sort of payment is that?”
He smiled. “One that I’m willing to receive.”
You nodded in approval. “Smooth, Mr…?”
“Riki. Nishimura Riki. Or you can call me Ni-ki alternatively.” he smiled gently, hands tucking into his pockets.
“Ni-ki.” you hummed. “Alright then, thank you, Sir Riki.” you grinned, a genuine, thankful grin. “I’m Y/N for reference.”
He smiled back. “My pleasure, Y/N.” his hands reached to grab your bundle. “Let me hold that for you.”
“Thank you, kind sir.”
—
Intrigued. Intrigued was all you could use to describe how Riki’s personality splayed before you.
He was funny. Seriously funny.
Not a minute went by before he made you laugh, again.
The two of you had just arrived to deliver the pie to Yujin’s daycare, in which Riki was confused too.
“You have a child?” he asked, eyebrows raised in suspicion.
You chuckled to yourself. “No, sir, I do not.” you shook your head, finally arriving at the gate.
“Yujin!” you called from the gate, bundle still in the arms of the man next to you.
The door burst open and a gleeful looking boy came sprinting out. “Noona!” he called happily, his expression a ray of sunshine that cleared the negativity of earlier. As he approached, he looked to Ni-ki beside you, a perplexed furrow of his eyebrows indicated his confusion. “Who did you bring this time?” he poked at you, both physically and teasingly.
You rolled your eyes. “This is Ni-ki.” He waved as you gestured towards him. “He helped me with a complication at work.” you thinly smiled.
He nodded to himself. “Ahh!” he agreed. “Complykatson.” His arms crossed over one another. Perhaps this kid had an old man’s soul within him.
Before you forgot, you turned to Riki. “Here, Yujin.” You handed the pie over to him, making sure his little clammy hands secured the bundle safely. “Don’t have it all to yourself! Share with the others!” you demanded, hand pointed accusingly at him.
“I won’t! Gosh.” he pouted. You smiled fondly at him, giving his head a pat before he kissed your cheek when you leant down. “Have fun at work!” he bellowed, bowing his head politely at both you and Riki since his hands were too occupied to wave.
The two of you waved at him, waiting till the door closed behind him once he walked back inside.
You sighed to yourself contently. Despite the nuances of earlier that day, the smile that spread across your favourite boy’s face was priceless; no gold could buy that smile.
You turned to Riki, a smile sat warmly across your face. “Let’s head back now.” you stated, hands conjoining behind your back in a stroll-like posture.
He nodded. “This escort mission was quite calming, I must say.”
“It’s a lovely day today, must be that.”
He hummed, his head turning to you before he asked a simple question. “Do you deal with those sorts of people a lot?” he asked sincerely, eyebrows furrowed in concern.
With a simple huff, you chuckled pitifully. “Yes, but the ones that approach me after I’ve said we had no more products don’t happen as often. This one was probably the third time its occurred.” You reminisced to the times prior.
Ni-ki shook his head disapprovingly. “You should really get an additional worker with you.”
You shrugged. “I was looking into it, but there’s no one I know with that much free time or willingness to indulge in that sort of work.”
A silence settled between the two of you; Ni-ki gathered his thoughts while you stared at the ground beneath your feet.
Suddenly, he cleared his throat after a brief moment. “Well, you know, I could…” he trailed off, eyes wondering.
“…You could?”
“I could-“
“Y/N?” a familiar voice resounded in front of you.
You hadn’t even realised whilst chatting with Ni-ki, but you had already found yourselves at the heart of the markets, your stall only a handful of steps away.
As your attention switched from Riki to the voice, your eyes widened.
The man you had been wanting to see all day, the one who left you dazed for the hours you worked till now, the one who had been implanted in your brain since he took you to work this morning.
“Hyung?” Ni-ki spoke beside you. Hyung?
“You know each other?” You looked to Ni-ki in surprise, gaze switching between the two men.
“Mmh.” Ni-ki hummed, a smile across his face as he connected the dots. So this is what Jungwon was busy doing. He laughed to himself. “We work at the same law firm.” he clarified.
“Do you even have work?” you asked suspiciously. “Why are you both here, shouldn’t you be busy?” you pressed, stepping toward Jungwon with your hands crossed over another.
“Well, you see, I… cleared my afternoon.” he spoke sheepishly as he cleared his throat, your eyes widening at the prospect.
Your playful demeanour dropped as you looked at him. “You what?” A deadpan look settled on your expression.
Jungwon’s gaze looked behind you at Riki for a second before he looked at you. “I wanted to stay with you.” he responded in a near whisper.
“Are you serious?” you scoffed in disbelief, but a ghost of a smile stayed on your face.
“Yes… I finished all my work by lunchtime.” he stated as if it were normal to cram a days work within five hours or so. Riki laughed to himself briefly, averting Jungwon’s attention to his younger friend as he scrutinised him. “What is so funny to you?”
He shook his head disappointedly, but playfully. “Do I really have to spell it out for you?” Ni-ki teased, a smug grin settling on his face. He walked past you to whisper into Jungwon’s ear. “Sunghoon hyung is gonna hear all about this.” He laughed as he backed away, whilst Jungwon looked bewildered.
You were lost as to what happened. “What? What did you say Riki?” you tugged at his shoulder. “Why does Jungwon look like he saw a ghost?” you inquired, your confusion evident.
He simply laughed it off, waving his hand to dismiss your question. “Don’t worry, it’s not about you.” he blatantly lied, but you didn’t know that.
“Well… I still want to know.” you spoke sadly, hoping to garner sympathy points. “Can you tell me?”
“Gladly! Jungwon hyung-“
“Zip it.” Jungwon covered Ni-ki’s mouth. He cleared his throat before taking his hand off. “I believe you have work to do.” he spoke sternly, straightening out his blazer.
Ni-ki scoffed. “You’re one to talk, Mr. Yang.” he replied teasingly, tongue sticking out to annoy Jungwon.
Jungwon sneered at him, hand gesturing for him to leave, to which Ni-ki obliged. “Bye Y/N.” he patted your shoulder.
Your hand reached for his wrist which slipped through your grasp as he turned. “But, what were you talking about?” you attempted to get last minute information.
“Bye Ni-ki!” Jungwon interrupted, waving off Ni-ki sarcastically.
The younger mouthed the name Sunghoon hyung as he looked behind his shoulder before going to buy the food he wanted initially.
“What? What?” you were desperate to understand the joke, shaking Jungwon’s shoulder. “Tell me!”
Jungwon tsked, shrugging away your hand as he headed to your stall. “So! Ms. L/N, you have an extra worker for the afternoon.” he smiled, swiftly switching topics. His tooth-rotting grin tempted you into dropping your curiosity.
“Oh? And what do you know about baking pies Mr. Jungwon?” you teased, a smirk growing on your face as you walked closer to your stall and thereby approaching Jungwon.
He watched as you lifted the wooden board to the tent, grabbing it after you had already entered and stepping into the area. “Nothing!” He placed the board down gently, eyes wandering around the interior of your work. “That’s why you’ll teach me.” You pursed your lips at the wink he sent your way as you turned to grab the apron you had left and threw it over his head.
“Sir. Yang.” you started, your hands resting near his neck as you tightened the neck strap securely so it was neither loose nor tight, just right. You maintained eye contact as your hands traveled down to his waist, wrapping your arms to secure the waist strap too, though in the process you practically caged him in a hug. “Just don’t interfere with me, when I’m working behind you, okay?” You tightened the strap with finality, backing away as you looked to him innocently. Perhaps you were flirting, but perhaps he wouldn’t notice.
But notice he did. Jungwon looked at you with a stunned expression before he sputtered out. “C-could you repeat that for me please?” Your effect on him adamant in his actions, but you were blind to it, somewhat.
You smiled gently, teasingly, before patting his shoulder and turning to the back station. “Mind the till, would you?”
“Could you just-“
“First rule~!” you sang, finger pointed at him without your gaze turning back.
He huffed before trying again. “But I-“
“Ey!” you tsked, turning to him. Although you hadn’t even started baking yet, it was fun to tease the man.
He pouted. “You haven’t even started!” You deadpanned him before gesturing him to go on. “Could I suggest a payment?”
You scoffed. “You haven’t even worked yet and you’re already suggesting what I should pay you?”
“It’s simple.” he countered.
You contemplated before gesturing him to continue again.
“Can I get a pie at the end of the day?” A smile that gleamed upon his face appeared, one that was hard to deny.
“Ey~ won’t that be unhealthy? You’ll get fat by the end of the month, Mr. Yang!” you tried to reason with the man.
Jungwon turned away from you, mumbling to himself quietly. “It’s either I get fat from the pies or her…” He reached for the left side of his chest, gripping onto his shirt tightly.
His heart ached.
The man was in love.
After that stunt you pulled with the apron, how could he not be? He was a grown man and he allowed you to take control of him so easily, he was absolutely all yours. You just didn’t know yet.
—
Drained. Drained was all you could use to describe how your tiring work day splayed before you.
Perhaps it was the influx of female customers at your store—which definitely had nothing to do with Jungwon’s appearance.
Perhaps it was the simmering heat that magically, or better yet unexplainably, approached on the fall day, allowing droplets of sweat to formulate around the crevices of your neck, arms, and every body part that you had covered meticulously in belief of a colder day. It was an odd turn of events.
Or, perhaps it was the additional hand that made your cramped work space feel exponentially smaller than it was. Jungwon wasn’t a big guy. He was lean, yet still strong. Taller than you, but not enough that it strained your neck to look at him.
So, the suffocating air in your quaint stall couldn’t have been from him? Or was it the both of you? Or even a combination of that and the heat? Maybe the women too? Great heavens, why were they still lingering around?!
“Will you be here permanently?” A beautiful young lady, in all her poise and elegance, flashed a smile that could be written in history books for being so unrealistically gorgeous. Her hair cascaded from her scalp to her collarbone perfectly, as if no effort had been taken into her perfected appearance. Did she look this perfect because she was, or did the envy that began to transpire within you simply blow this one over? You didn’t know which option you preferred.
The girl next to her, presumably her friend with the closeness between the two, piqued up with a question too, standing on her tip-toes and giving another world-class smile. Was there some school that taught this? “If so, we’ll visit everyday!” She interlinked one of her arms with the girl beside her and the two bumped their shoulders against the other gently before, once again, giving an effortlessly curated grin.
This whole time, you had been leaning against the bench where you make your pies, as the remaining batch you had made was the last, and it was currently cooking in the communal centre.
Unknowingly, your arms had crossed and a look familiar to a scowl settled upon your expression. As soon as you felt the creases and tension in your face, you immediately dropped it, opting for a neutral one instead.
Within this time, Jungwon had responded. “I will not be here permanently.” This immediately sent a frown to both of the girls’ faces, but he continued. “But, I’ll come around occasionally when she needs the extra hand.” He gestured with his head towards you, a fond look appearing on his face, one you didn’t catch. “She’s a great boss you know? And baker too!” he praised, to which the two girls just giggled awkwardly, before the first girl spoke up again.
“Well then, whenever you do work, don’t hesitate to let us know.” She whispered the last part with a hand covering one side of her mouth. She reached into her small purse, the ones that all those rich people have, and handed Jungwon a small note. The paper itself looked like it cost more than your entire life—which was a lot. “You’ll find us here.” she finalised, throwing a coy wave to which the other girl followed, before they both walked away.
A sigh of relief escaped you. What a devastatingly unpleasant feeling it was to watch that interaction. Not because of any romantic feelings or anything. No. You don’t feel those types of emotions. You aren’t allowed to, nor are you ever going to. This was not a romantic feeling. Surely, it was just a fleeting admiration, right? Jungwon will be in the past just like all the other ‘lives’ you’ve lived in your time.
Right.
“Y/N.” The man had spun around, his conversation with the two ladies having already ended. “You seem to not be alright, do you want me to take over?” His eyebrows raised in concern, his expression worrisome as he raked over your figure; very spaced out and unfocused.
You almost scoffed with laughter at his suggestion. “No, sir. I’m just swell, I can’t imagine having you take over my stall, Mr. Lawyer.” you teased, the smile that seemed to always pop up on your face whenever you were around Jungwon appeared.
Jungwon diverted his attention to the floor and chuckled abashedly. “Got me there…” He rubbed the back of his neck.
You looked at him longingly before abruptly interrupting the brief silence. “Care to take out some pies?” you asked.
“Could a lawyer take on that responsibility?” he joked with you, meeting your gaze.
You giggled at his remark. “Wow, lawyers have a sense of humour?” Your expression was one of sarcasm, eyes blown wide and jaw dropped in shock.
He shook his head at you, but his smile remained. “Come on Missy.” he huffed, hand raising to pat your head. He ruffled your hair playfully to which you swatted away his hands. He dodged your hits as he made his escape. “Bakers are so aggressive!” he teased, lifting the board for you to leave your tent as well.
As you stepped out of the stall, you clicked your tongue at him in annoyance. “I’m not aggressive, you just get on my nerves.”
He hummed. “Really? What have I done to you that warrants this behaviour?”
You thought back to the women—an unusual amount of women to visit your stall in retrospect—and decided to not mention it, keeping your silence as an answer.
“Nothing?” he piqued with an eyebrow raise. His arm fell to rest against your shoulders casually, a very, no, extremely suggestive gesture in such a public setting. The two of you have only just made friends (?) and the market still had quite a few shoppers around.
Hastily, you shrugged off his arm and crossed your own over each other, making sure to create a subtle distance between the two of you.
“Sorry.” Jungwon mumbled, ashamed of himself for being so obvious. Couldn’t he take this slow?
You shook your head. “Don’t worry.” A smile graced your face as you looked to him, one that wiped away the worry of making you feel uncomfortable that Jungwon may have had. “I just… don’t want people to get the wrong idea.” you reassured him.
A brief silence followed before he spoke up. “What if I want people to misunderstand?” His eyes met yours in what felt like the most intense eye contact you had ever experienced. You could feel the bolts of electricity connecting your pupils to his. Your mind short-circuited and you barely stuttered out a response.
“S-sorry?” You wanted a replay of what he had just said. Had you misheard?
Redness crept up his cheeks as he averted his eyes from staring into yours, fearing he may lose himself in the process. “You heard me.” he murmured to himself quietly.
You didn’t ask any further questions. You didn’t want to. This interaction should never have happened. You and Jungwon interlinking should never have happened.
And yet, you let yourself feel. Feel how he makes your emotions run wild. Feel how a mere glance from him triggers a reaction for your heart to beat erratically. But in doing so, you also allowed yourself to feel the consequences of your actions. You felt extra protective over Jungwon. You felt an ache in your heart when he wasn’t with you. And worst of all, you felt love. The scariest consequence of them all.
Safe to say, the walk to the community centre had a worse outcome than silence, it was equally as awkward.
—
On edge. On edge was all you could use to describe how the act of closing your shop splayed before you.
Okay, maybe it wasn’t the act of closing your shop, per se, but the man who still stuck around to close the shop with you. Unsettlingly strange it was to have been so hung up on Yang Jungwon, just for any and all emotions you had for him to fly out the window and be replaced with uttermost confusion. Did what he say meant he liked you too? Was he joking with you? Are your heart strings being tugged by a jerk?
“Y/N-“
“Here’s your pie, Mr. Yang.” you interrupted, words a bit more stiff than the casual air you would tend to use around him.
Slowly, Jungwon grabbed the pie with caution, eyes peering into your astray ones that couldn’t seem to look at him. “Allow me to escort you home.” he suggested, a plea for your attention.
But you wouldn’t have a bar of it. You needed to sort your thoughts. “It’s alright, Sir.” you smiled, finally looking at him just to turn away again. “I’ll be off.” you nodded your head in farewell before heading in the direction towards your home. You hadn’t spared him a glance, the act of looking back would have made it harder to walk away.
You continued the path towards the trail where you and Jungwon had come from earlier, almost exiting the clearing of stalls before a rush of steps coaxed you into looking at the commotion.
There wasn’t much to look at though as Jungwon had pulled up right next to you, straightening his blazer and tie before clearing his throat. He looked to your perplexed stare and just shrugged. “I can’t let a pretty lady like you walk home alone now, can I?” he questioned, to which you huffed.
“I can handle my own…” you pouted and looked away from Jungwon, the sight of his sculpted face too overwhelming to look at.
He simply nodded, but you didn’t see that, before he spoke up once more. “Sure… you don’t think the people in the market talking about ‘the pie lady’ being harassed in the afternoon was… you, right?” he pondered sarcastically, his lip jutted in faux curiosity and eyebrows furrowed just as such.
Your mouth opened to speak, but no sound left. You were rendered speechless until you uttered out a meek response. “That could’ve been… the other pie lady…”
Your reply only made him laugh. “And what other infamous pie lady is there?” Again, you were left collecting your thoughts, thinking of a way to escape this hurdle. When your reply came with nothing, Jungwon hummed. Abruptly, he patted your head gently, delicately. “I’m glad you’re safe now.” he hummed, concluding his teasing.
You reciprocated with a hum of your own. “Yeah, it’s really thanks to Riki. If he hadn’t shown his generosity, I don’t think anyone would have.” You shrugged at the thought, mind reeling back to the thought of the tall, sleek man.
Immediately at the prospect, Jungwon stiffened. “Oh? So it was Ni-ki who helped you?” he pursed his lips whilst nodding to himself. A brief thought of arriving sooner and the possibility that he would have been the one at your stead instead conjured in his brain, before your reply stripped him of his thoughts.
“And I’m glad it was.” you murmured. “How lucky am I to have had a lawyer as the person to stand up for me. I didn’t even pay!” you chuckled, reminiscing to the peculiar afternoon.
Jungwon grumbled. “He’s not even a proper lawyer yet…”
You shook your head with a smile grazing your lips. “Lawyer or not, he knew what words to say and what would get the man to back off. Either that or the other guy was intimidated by Riki’s height. Have you seen that boy?” Your eyes widened as you grasped the height difference between you and the younger man. The thought made you think to Yujin and the fact that he’d too outgrow you.
He scoffed at the way you were talking about Riki. “I’d think you just like tall men at this point.” he pouted, eyes casting to the floor as he kicked the rubble beneath him. Whether he intended you to hear it or not, you pretended like the words hadn’t even left his lips, opting to steer the conversation away.
“What’s your work like?” you inquired, curious as to what a day’s work entailed—and how he completed it all to work alongside you, though he didn’t need to know that.
Jungwon didn’t need much time to think until he replied. “You’d think it’d be busier than it is, but not much crime has happened to necessarily bring us in. Obviously there’s still crime, just no big cases of it.” He shrugged his shoulders conclusively. “Oh! And there is seven of us working, so the work that does happen is spread amongst us. A lot of our time is spent processing cases.”
You nodded, a smile forming on your lips. “Sounds fun, having such a big group of people to always be around. Are you guys friends?”
He nodded fondly. “Best of friends, I’d say.” he added.
At that, you snorted out a laugh. “That makes me want to have a partner.”
Jungwon turned to you with wide eyes. “Partner?!”
You looked to him in his panic. “Yes? Like… work partner? What were you thinking of?” you chuckled.
Jungwon cleared his throat before turning away. “N-nothing. I’m just interested in becoming your partner- Work partner!” he corrected himself, eyes darting to your figure to see if you caught his slip-up.
You thought over the idea before nodding. “That’d be nice actually… but you’re the owner of your law firm, wouldn’t that be difficult?”
“Right…” he physically shrunk into himself, thoughts of working alongside you a figment of his imagination, that is until he thought of a solution. “Hold on. There’s seven of us right?”
“As I’ve heard, yes.”
“How about one of us take each day of the week?” he suggested.
Once again, you played the idea in your mind and nodded when it worked in your head. “That’d be nice, actual-“
“Wait!” He put a hand up, even stopping in his tracks for some sort of dramatic effect—but you think it’s just so he can collect his thoughts. “No, erase that idea.” He shook his head, moving forward with a hand on his chin thoughtfully. His own jealousy and possesion over you willed him away from the option.
You huffed at his irrational behaviour. “I’m sorry, what?”
“Forget I said what I just said.” he stated calmly. He let a few more ideas run in his brain before his eyes lit up and he clicked his fingers. “Or—now hear me out—I transfer ownership to Heeseung hyung?” He turned to you with a beaming smile, one that looked as ridiculous as the idea he just spurted out.
You gazed at him in disbelief before bursting into a fit of laughter. “You’re funny Sir. Yang! Too funny, I must give credit to that joke. Whew!” You shook your head as you chuckled to yourself, until you heard no laughter on his end. “Why aren’t you laughing?”
Jungwon looked into your eyes then turned away, scratching his head in frustration. He couldn’t tell you that he was willing to do all of that just to stay by your side, he’d sound crazy. But the man had been in love ever since he studied the charisma of your work ethic, and then eventually, you.
He knew one day he’d tell you how he felt. Maybe right now. Maybe the next day. Maybe within the week. Maybe this month. What he knew, was that he couldn’t back out. He’d have to continually follow through or else he may lose your interest.
With your gaze and attention on him, he felt complacent, not quite complete—that would only happen when he could safely call himself ‘yours’—but he understood that what he wanted, what he needed… was you. Even if just for a bit he could have you, he’d grasp at it. And even then, he’d want to steal just a smidge more time to stay with you, since you were so utterly alluring to him.
Jungwon was in the trenches. But he dug out this path for himself, and it was his responsibility to find his way safely to you.
"I wasn't kidding around, Y/n." he finally mustered, his tone so serious it left you dazed for a short moment.
The stoic look to his face and the complicated words that left his mouth were enough to push you over the edge of your jumbled emotions. The tone in which Jungwon had set ran a shiver down your spine. "Jungwon." you began as you finalised your thoughts. "You know that's a reckless decision, right?"
Perchance, you could say that living for such a substantial amount of years, decades even, made you wiser, but in this moment with a considerably fleeting romance (for you anyway), you weren't quite as educated as you wanted to be.
How could love be so unpredictable and... risky. You weren't even certain that this man loved you back, and yet he was taking these risks for you. Sacrificing his job just to stay by your side? Now that was irrational. You knew what the right decision was from pure common sense, but how about you? What did you want to do?
You began again. "Stop thinking nonsensically." you warned. "What you're doing may cause more harm than good."
Sure, the conversation was about transfering ownership to one of his employees, which is big in itself, but in the grand scheme of things, in the underlying meaning behind each of your words, this was truly about commitment. A commitment sworn between the two of you. A commitment that should never occur.
"What if it brings more good than harm?" His eyes rounded as he looked to you, an innocent light sparked in his eyes, one that didn't know the truth of you, and the issues that reign from that very truth. Naive he was. Naive to think that you two could actually work.
You supposed you too were naive, for having the slightest inkling that something could spark from this. But, you knew that was a pipe dream.
And yet, you wanted to be selfish, to have him to yourself, to call him yours. You knew the consequences of this decision though; you'd leave him behind, you'd watch him grow old whilst you stayed in the same youthful looking body. How badly you wanted to grow old with him. To indulge in the thought of creating a family with him.
Naive, you thought to yourself once more.
"Y/N?" His voice brought you out of your thoughts.
Only then did you realise you had started crying.
Warm, strong arms wrapped around you tightly. You buried your face in the chest of Jungwon, his presence a constant in this moment, this fleeting moment. As you cried vehemently in his arms, he held you close. His arm held you securely at the waist, whilst his other hand pushed your head into him. He leant himself down so his head rested on your shoulder, overwhelming your senses as you felt his touch surrounding your whole being.
As you sobbed, your body wracked with tremors, your arms raising to cusp his broad back in your arms. You could feel his relaxed muscles under your fingertips, one of them specifically moving as he rubbed your back soothingly up and down.
Your hands tightened their hold on his shoulder blades, letting out every single emotion you felt towards this new love you felt within you.
Slowly, your mind reeled back to reality, and only then did you hear Jungwon's comforting words. "It's okay." "I'm here." "I'm not going anywhere." were amongst other things he chanted like a mantra. You gasped at his words, an overwhelmingly strong sob coursing through your body.
it wasn't okay. He wouldn't be there. And he was definitely going to be leaving. Whether he liked it or not, that was your reality. Everyone left you alone, to rekindle your life as you vowed to never become close with another again, only for human nature to ruin your plans as you found yourself indulging in the pleasure of making connections. However, you never felt love. The true, raw love from another human being, and vice versa. You've never loved so romantically in your life. Jungwon was your first, and it was apparent in his arms in which he held you so delicately that he was your last. You couldn't undergo this situation again. Never again.
—
Empty. Empty was all you could use to describe how your internal turmoil splayed before you.
Jungwon had long since gone from your front porch, his eyebrows that furrowed in concern and eyes that held a world of worry engraved in your mind.
You stared at your ceiling blankly, every possible scenario of avoiding Jungwon appearing in your head, and each one getting turned down due to the fact that Jungwon was too nice of a man to conduct a rude act against him. Why was he such a gentleman?
Eventually, you decided the best idea you had was to just blatantly ignore and avoid him. You only ever met at your work or your house, two of the main places you spent your time at. So it’d be a piece of cake right? Or… pie.
The next morning, you took the liberty of completely dismissing work. You cooped yourself in your home, shut out from the world. Yebin had knocked earlier to make sure you remembered work, to which you argued a mean cold had been thrust upon you.
“Probably the change of temperature tampering with my insides.” you proposed from your bed.
Yebin shook her head whilst laughing. “Sure, the common cold affects the person who cannot even perish. You humour me.” She looked to your “frail” figure and huffed. “Farewell then.”
It had been a fair while since Yebin left, by this time she would have arrived at work already. And now you laid on your mattress, eyes staring blankly at the ceiling, the off-white plastered above you left little fuel for imagination.
You were close to lazily giving up and going back to sleep to avoid wallowing in your own grief before a knock resonated from your front door. Huffing slightly, you sluggishly hauled yourself out of your bed, your ivory chemise falling delicately against your thighs.
You imagined that your hair looked a mess—not at all tidy as it would normally be in its up-do—though you supposed the person at the door could only be Yebin returning to pick up something that slipped her mind when leaving the house.
The door opened with a click as you poked your head out.
“So sorry!” Your best friend funnelled out. You smiled knowingly before opening the door wider for her to enter. “Lord only knows what a mess I am this morning!” she huffed out in distress as she walked towards the kitchen to grab her packed lunch. “Next thing you know, I’d have forgotten my slip for work!” With her mind jumbled, she turned to you to kiss your cheek in departure.
Just as she was out the door, she blocked the door from closing before allowing herself back in. “I forgot my slip.” She laughed, an embarrassed blush falling upon plump cheeks. Yebin turned to you once more, looking at your bed tamed state and sighed calmly. “I appreciate you for putting up with me.” Her lips turned to a frown and you could tell she was becoming emotional.
“Oh stop, please none of this mushy nonsense right now.” You blatantly ignored her desire to be sentimental at this crucial time. “You’re late for work you gopher.” You ushered her out with your hand. “Out! Out!”
The last thing you saw was her waving at you before you closed the door in front of you.
Locking the door, you supposed now would be the time to make your breakfast. As you shifted to step to the kitchen, your door was knocked once more. With an amused grin, you turned back to the door.
“Unnie! I told you it’s not the time for sentimen-“ Nothing could prepare you for what was at your door. Supposedly, all that planning you did the night before on how to approach him if you bumped into each other would help you in this actually critical situation.
Yet, to your surprise, your mind hadn’t imagined you’d stand in front of him in such an unappealing matter.
Fact 1: You had just called him ‘Unnie’—sure you thought he was Yebin, but the fact still stood.
Fact 2: Because of all that planning, not much sleep met your deprived soul, so perhaps the dark circles running laps below your eyes were enough evidence of such—crying the night prior may have also factored into this one.
Fact 3: Chemise. Bed hair. A funny smile that was stuck between the amusement you wanted to greet Yebin with, and the shock of seeing him. Three very unflattering physical attributes to this mornings disaster.
Why was Jungwon here?
Better yet, why did he also look shocked?
“…Hello?” you said tentatively. The barriers you had spent the night before building were slowly starting to be threatened.
From where he stood, Jungwon had a full view of you in your most realest state—with your hair in a slight tangled mess, clothes you slept in on the night before, and no planned or curated tidiness. Just effortlessly you, and he couldn’t have been happier to catch you like this.
A smile spread across his face at the slight rasp in your voice as you spoke. “Hi Y/N… I, uh…” He scratched the back of his neck nervously, unsure if he should even expose himself so openly (although he had already done so a handful of times), but ultimately decided for it. “I went to the markets since I couldn’t help you to work today, but you weren’t there… so I got worried.”
The sincerity sparkling in his eyes made your resolve falter, but you couldn’t back down so easily. You chuckled nervously, eyes looking downward to not meet his gaze. “Well, I’m here now! So… you don’t have to worry.” You stiffened your smile to a line, kicking your foot absentmindedly at the floor before resting it behind your other, focusing your balance on one foot.
Jungwon’s eyes raked over your figure, sussing out your situation before clicking his tongue and sighing in curiosity. “Are you okay?” he wondered, arms folded as he was keen on figuring out your absence at work.
“Dandy!” you responded a bit too cheerfully. “A slight cough, but if anything, I’m fine.” You looked to him with a nod, confirming that you were safe and content with being alone.
He nodded, creating a brief moment of silence, before he returned with a suggestion. “Does that mean you’re healthy enough to come visit my work?”
You really wanted to think with your brain—like really, extremely, absolutely set on thinking with your brain—yet your wavering heart and cracking barriers choked out a response you knew you’d regret. “Yes, I am.”
—
Stupid. Stupid was all you could use to describe how your irrational actions splayed before you.
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. You were so utterly stupid.
How could you let yourself back down so easily? It hadn’t even taken three minutes of his presence for your walls to come crashing down, what now?
As the two of you walked together in silence—more like you followed behind him as walking next to him became overwhelming—your chest felt tight with tension. It was as if tension surrounded your very being.
Not a word had been uttered since you made yourself presentable and left the house, nothing except for Jungwon gesturing with his head to leave as the simplest form of communication, thus you entered a realm of suffocating silence. That was tension in itself.
The unspoken tension forged between you and Jungwon, which you didn’t even know if he knew that that existed.
And then the tension with this very situation you found yourself in; connecting with the person you swore to ignore.
Once again, you felt stupid.
“You look like you’re arguing with your thoughts.” Jungwon abruptly interrupted the long stretch of silence. With his hands behind his back and his eyes peering at you every-so-often, you found yourself breaking through your thoughts and raking your gaze along the gravel road.
You shook your head. “I’m not thinking anything.” You lied.
Unlike any other time, Jungwon didn’t push. Instead, he chose to steal wistful glances at you every so often, trying to decipher the problem by himself.
In the end, he forced himself to tear his eyes away from you. If you didn’t want to tell him, there was a reason, and he respected that. But, god, did he want to know. And by all means necessary, he would make you feel better when he understood your current situation.
After a long—overwhelmingly silent—walk, the two of you arrived at a somewhat small, but modestly grand building. It blended with the other businesses around, but stuck out in its own neutral way.
“We’re here.” he mumbled, shooting a brief smile at you as he held the door to his firm open.
You nodded in acknowledgment before stepping into the quarters. You didn’t know what to expect from a law firm’s building, but it surely wasn’t anything shabby like your current position. In fact, it looked quite polished and pristine just from the outside, so there was no doubt the interior would match that expectation.
However, what you didn’t expect was to be met with five pairs of unfamiliar eyes staring inquisitively at you (and their boss), with a rather… perplexed yet knowing gaze.
“Boss!” A man stood up abruptly. hands pressed firmly against his sides as he bowed 90° at Jungwon, his tall figure bending down in a swift manner.
With furrowed brows, Jungwon responded. “What’s wrong with Heeseung hyung?” he deadpanned, shaking his head at the strange action from the eldest employee.
As he rose back up, the amused grin on his face indicated his unserious ideal of the formality, depicting his playfulness regarding the situation and his boss.
Another spoke up. “You finally back to work?” he teased, his smirk widening as his eyes flicked between the two of you. You hadn’t noticed, but behind his smirk lay an understanding of your dynamic with Jungwon through the whispers of their youngest intern, who was practically a permanent employee at this point, but he couldn’t escape the intern title even if he tried.
Jungwon rolled his eyes at the regard, opening his mouth to retort, until the back door opened with a dramatic swoosh!
With surprised eyes, a file slipped between his teeth, and coffee in either of his hands, the employee hummed in recognition. “Y/N!” he said, muffled by the cardboard between his lips—it sounded like jumble to your ears, but you digress.
When the familiar face of Riki suddenly appeared in your vision, you lit up at the sight of him. “Riki!” It was then you recalled the two working at the same law firm as confirmed the day prior. The walk leading up to this very moment had stigmatising thoughts consuming your very being, leading you to forgetting that your saviour was at the end of the path too.
Setting down the file and one coffee on an unoccupied desk and the other at the desk of the man who teased Jungwon previously—the one with the plentiful moles and knowing smirk—, Riki approached you both at the entrance with a stellar smile. “Has Hyung introduced you to everyone?” he questioned.
You pursed your lips as you thought to yourself. “…Briefly, I suppose.” Did a brief breakdown of each of his workers and what they meant to Jungwon to distract you after your own mental breakdown count?
“So a no.” Riki jeered, moving to stand beside you as he draped his arm around your shoulders, sneaking a glance towards Jungwon to gauge his reaction—spoiler alert: Jungwon becomes frozen and stiff when he’s annoyed, irritated, or, in this case, jealous, perfect for Riki’s plan of forcing the two of you together because he couldn’t bear Jungwon’s fawning over you any longer.
As he moved you along the room, arm still hanging around your shoulders, he gestured with his arm to each guy. In the table to your far left sat a cute man with full cheeks as he briefly waved to you, extending out a hand to shake your own. Riki introduced his name as “Sunoo”.
Moving to the left was “Jaeyun” yet everyone called him “Jake” as one time he expressed that foreign names were adequately unique and everyone wanted to poke fun at the guy, yet the name stuck—his charming smile and sly compliments couldn’t help but make you blush in embarrassment.
Next was the mole-faced guy who you thought looked quite stoic as you walked in, yet the smirk he wore as he teased his boss suggested anything but—his name was “Sunghoon” (and you didn’t know, but he and Riki had already formed an elaborate plan to get you and Jungwon together).
Two empty desks followed, then the tall man who bowed earlier, now sitting, was introduced as “Heeseung”, though you knew that through Jungwon’s response to his playfulness.
Lastly was the unbothered guy who was stuck on whatever paperwork he was filling out, sticking up a hand for a brief wave, before diving nose-deep back into his work. “And… that’s Jay…” Riki pursed his lips at the behaviour of his colleague. Pulling you in closer so he could whisper in your ear, Riki said very quietly. “He was here overnight so don’t mind his attitude, I swear he’s the kindest here, sometimes.”
You smiled in relief that you weren’t getting ignored and covered your mouth as you giggled at the silliness of your newfound friend, the sly grin tugging on his lips only pushing your limit further. You almost forgot the dread you felt upon coming here, but after experiencing the welcoming environment that they produced, you couldn’t help but to soften your stiffened shoulders and shielded expression.
From the distance—it was like two feet but to Jungwon it felt like miles—he watched a genuine smile spread across your face as you joked with Riki, and he couldn’t deny the pang he felt in his chest. He wasn’t and never was a jealous man, letting peace settle before any of his own emotions got the best of him. Yet in the instance where a conflicted expression haunted your face as the both of you walked together, and the contrast with the carefree and comfortable smile you wore currently, it was an undeniable bubble of envy that began to form in the pits of his stomach.
For the first time in his life, Jungwon felt jealous.
—
Tense. Tense was all Jungwon could use to describe how his concluded work splayed before him.
“Good work today guys.” Jungwon thinned out his smile, stretching his arms above his head as sitting in his chair began to take a toll on his lower back.
Murmurs followed throughout the room, agreeing to Jungwon’s testament. In his peripheral, Jungwon could see you laughing at something Jay had said, your teeth baring as your lips spread wide in a smile. Your head tilted back with a hand pressed to your chest as you calmed your racing heart. When you leaned forward once you caught your breath, you inadvertently leaned even closer to Jay.
The man hadn’t noticed, but the words that came out of his mouth sparked off a fit of laughter in you per sentence. “Am I really that funny?” he chuckled in disbelief, a grateful smile stretching the corner of his lips.
“Yes!” you giggled. Perhaps all the time you spent wallowing in your own pity left room for genuine happiness to shine—plus Jay was quite the jokester.
“Huh.” Jay said with a bit of pride, straightening his posture as he pursed his lips. “The guys don’t find me that hilarious.
You shook your head. “Well then they just don’t understand.” You swatted your hand in the air to disregard his statement.
Jungwon sighed, averting his eyes as he felt tension and envy fill up his chest. His lungs felt constricted for air as he couldn’t grasp the jealousy that seethed within him. He didn’t hate Jay. And he certainly didn’t hate you, so what was happening to him?
As he stacked papers on top of one another, standing them up and straightening them to be aligned with one another, he was hit with another pang to his heart as your giggles you attempted to suppress rang in his ears.
His head turned in the direction of Jay’s table again, gazing at you sat in the chair you had pulled up to chat with each of his colleagues. Throughout the day, you moved around the room, situating yourself across each of the guys’ table to familiarise yourself with them. Every single one of them, except for Jungwon.
The only interaction he had with you was the brief conversation at the front of your door and the path to his work.
In other words, it seemed like Jungwon was only ever able to watch you from afar, the distance between you feeling like planets away. As he reached closer, you stepped two steps back. He couldn’t deny the feeling of hurt welling in his chest, his throat, and every area of him that was consumed by you.
You were his constant, but at the pace he was going, your building relationship would become unstable.
He couldn’t let that happen. He couldn’t lose you. So the words that followed his fears were calculated. “Shall we have a team dinner?” he suggested from his desk.
And with the chorus of agreement, you found yourself sat across from Jungwon as the eight of you settled in a local restaurant. You couldn’t deny the awkward air flowing around you and Jungwon, though you found your strategising from the night before to work in this situation as you actively ignored Jungwon.
The person beside you took the brunt of your chatter, as you babbled on in Jake’s ear. Luckily for you, he had sat in the seat next to you upon arrival and was happy to keep a steady conversation moving.
Once again, Jungwon felt himself disassociating from the general chatter surrounding the table, instead zeroing in on the in-depth discussion between you and Jake. Everyone else at the table looked to their boss in amaze, never seeing this nervous yet wistful character of Jungwon.
They witnessed the way his shoulders dropped, his eyes rounded, and his inner cheeks bitten by his teeth, just from watching you talk to a person that wasn’t him.
Despite the chuckles the group had at this new side of their friend, Sunoo’s words piqued each of their interest. “How do we move these two forward?” he whispered whilst leaning forward.
The other four thoughtfully concocted ideas in their head, before Heeseung spoke up with a simple yet efficient plan. “Have them walk home together?”
Sunghoon shook his head and rested his chin upon his fist. “And if they don’t talk? Then what, it’ll just drive them apart.”
A collective silence followed their sighs, trying to strategise once more. “I think the issue here is that Jungwon is trying to find an opening, but Y/N is currently closed off from any possibility of interacting with him.” Ni-ki began, his eyes looking to each of the older guys. “Any suggestions on how to get her to open up?”
Another thoughtful period passed before Jay spoke up. “…I have an idea.” he said carefully. “But it’s a really… douchey idea and I’m not a fan for thinking it. Though, it may be our only option.”
They all looked to Jay suspiciously as he pointed at the drink menu before them, his finger laid on the words ‘soju’ and they all looked up nervously. “We should order rounds for all of us then.” Heeseung stated. “It’d become an issue if she were the only one drinking… and if she denies a drink we’ll come up with a new plan, okay?”
Collectively, they nodded and moved to catch the attention of the other three people on the table. “We’ll be ordering rounds of soju, you guys in?” Sunoo spoke up. As he was sitting at the end of the table across from Jay, he leaned on his elbows to look at the other end. His eyebrows lifted as silent way to convince the three into agreeing.
Jake and you had nodded, whilst Jungwon looked uneasy. “I don’t know guys…” he contemplated.
Next to him, Sunghoon nudged him with his shoulder. “Come on…” Sunghoon dragged out the end of the word. “It’s Friday, we don’t have work tomorrow.” he perusaded, but Jungwon still looked uneasy.
Ni-ki poked his head forward to look at Jungwon too. “Well we’re ordering some even if you aren’t having any.” he mused, head tilted provokingly.
“Fine, I’m happy to stay sober.” Jungwon shrugged, and thus an agreement settled amongst the table.
Everyone, but Jungwon would be drinking tonight.
—
Appalled. Appalled was all Jungwon could use to describe how the work of alcohol splayed before him.
Riki and Jake had already tapped out by this point, their heads splat on the table in front of them as the rest of the guys laughed at the synchronised effort of the two—although they were both too drunk to understand their joint actions.
Sunoo had his chin rested upon his fist, thoughtfully overseeing the chatter amongst the group, not having the energy to provide his input.
If it were just his friends, he would have stayed longer, yet the gnawing feeling of concern for you and your own drunk state pushed Jungwon to call it a night.
Although the tipsy and near-drunk conversations flowing were amusing, it was time to go home.
And as the boss stood up, all employees eyes laid on him, a knowing look shared between them all. “We’ll be off.” he said with finality gesturing to your stirring figure.
When you recognised that he wanted you to sit up, you let out a whine in disagreement. “Noo…” you dragged out the ‘o’. You huffed as a frown met your lips and you closed your eyes tiredly. “I don’t want to go yet…”
Jungwon battled with his inner thoughts that alerted sirens in his head screaming ‘DANGER’ ‘SHE’S TOO ADORABLE FOR HER OWN GOOD’ ‘DON’T BE A BAD GUY’. He pursed his lips as he rounded the table to your side. “Come on Y/N, we have to go now.” he spoke gently, kneeling to your sat figure as he placed a hand on your shoulder that he swiftly retracted to ensure you weren’t uncomfortable.
But you hadn’t even realised he was next to you already. You pouted, crossing your arms over the table, before resting your chin on your forearms. “But… ‘m having so much fun, Won.” you reasoned. Jungwon almost broke his resolve at the mention of a nickname you hadn’t called him ever before.
Clearing his throat, he bit his lip thoughtfully before trying again. “If you stay out longer, it’ll be dangerous.” he said in a mere whisper.
With your head still rested on your forearms, you turned to look directly at him. Your drunken state didn’t notice the close proximity between the both of you, as Jungwon’s eyes sparkled with surprise for a brief second. “What ‘bout everyone else?” you said sadly, your eyebrows furrowing in concern as you gazed at Jungwon softly, his handsome features still viable even in your clouded haze.
“They can handle themselves.” he reassured.
Your eyes fluttered close before opening gently once more. “Really?”
He nodded. “Ask them if you’re unsure.” he smiled, gesturing towards the guys that had been engrossed in a quite chatter.
Turning to the guys slowly, you sat up straight and looked to them before setting your eyes on Sunghoon—focusing on them all would have been too much for your brain to handle. “Will you guys be okay?”
With a discerning smile, they all replied with a reassuring agreement.
Your lips jutted out in disbelief. “You promise?” You raised your brows skeptically.
A few of them chuckled before they collectively replied. “We promise.” They were all a mix of tipsy and near drunk, but not to the point of full intoxication. They could definitely handle themselves and the fallen troops before them.
You conclusively nodded and turned to Jungwon again. “Well… they promised I s’pose.” you pouted once more. With finality you stretched and then leaned towards Jungwon, your torso falling onto Jungwon’s own heavily. You arms dangled as you nuzzled your face in the crook of his neck, inhaling his scent before muttering quietly. “Take me home, Mr. Crusty Yang?”
Jungwon was so close to passing out from the overwhelming presence of you, but he had to keep his mind from wavering. “Mm.” he mumbled as an agreement, slowly—albeit regretfully—peeling you off of his figure and standing up, then tugging at your arms to get you up.
You giggled as you felt the motion of getting up course through your body. Your eyes fluttered ever so slightly, yet you had a calm smile settle upon your face.
Carefully, Jungwon slipped his arm around your waist, not before quietly asking if it was okay for him to do so, and guided your own around his neck.
With a swift farewell to the guys at the table, the two of you made it out of the restaurant with little disruption.
For the moment, the only sounds were you and your quiet babbles that Jungwon had no response to, only ever replying with a curt ‘really?’ every so often.
It was only after a few minutes of walking did you start to feel the pain in your feet, and the unsteadiness you harboured from the effect of the soju. You didn’t want to trouble Jungwon, but inevitably you had to speak up. “Won…”
There it was again, the nickname that sent a rush throughout his whole nervous system. “Mhm?” he sounded.
“My feet hurt…” you said carefully.
Jungwon had no hesitation before he formulated an idea. “Want a piggy-back ride?” he looked down at you, resting your head against his shoulder. Watching as you nodded your head, you soon found yourself hoisted upon Jungwon’s back, with your arms laid upon his shoulders, and your hands interlinked with one another.
At first, you simply laid your head on his back, but that soon grew uncomfortable as it strained on your neck, so you pushed yourself up straighter against his back and rested your head in the crook of his neck once more. Quietly, you whispered out. “You smell good, Jungwon.”
He couldn’t contain the blush that flourished on his cheeks. “Yeah?” He didn’t know how to respond to such a remark, he was too flustered to think straight.
When you nodded your head, the brush of your nose against his neck sent tingles throughout his whole body, inevitably he had to bite his lip to stop himself from smiling. And with your conclusive statement, the two of you continued. The only chatter was you, suddenly having the urge to talk to him despite ignoring him the whole day, but Jungwon took any interaction he could with you and cherished it.
That was until you said something that set Jungwon off in the wrong way.
“I’m sorry…” you said in a somber voice.
“Why?” Jungwon furrowed his eyebrows, readjusting your position on his back so that your body wasn’t falling off him.
Words that Jungwon didn’t quite want to hear on this fateful night escaped your lips. “I don’t like you anymore, Jungwon.” you murmured, the air from your nose fanning upon the expanse of his neck as you tightened your grip and pushed your head impossibly closer to his.
Jungwon shut down. His steps faltered. His breath became shallow. Even the way he turned to look at your resting head was slow. “Really?” he whispered, the words almost going unheard by your ears.
With the haste in which you nodded, Jungwon just accepted, turning his head forward and burying any hope he had that fuelled his desire to be with you. “Then I guess we won’t be seeing each other much huh?” His voice trembled as the words left him, his lips betraying him as they shook with his words.
As you nodded again, Jungwon turned his head to the sky in an attempt to reverse the tears that were near falling. When he sniffled, your ears perked up as you turned your head to look at his side profile. “Wonie… why are you crying? Who made you sad?” you questioned innocently.
“Don’t worry about it.” he smiled, though his eyes clearly glistened with tears.
“But… how can I help you?”
He shook his head. “You can’t, Y/N, you shouldn’t worry about me. We don’t think of each other the same way.”
You paused, gathering your thoughts before spurting out another question. “Then, how do you think of me?”
In his peripherals, Jungwon could see your earnestly shining eyes peering into his very soul, and in the moment he couldn’t help but chuckle. What a fool he was for thinking this could work in his favour. “D’ya want me to tell the complete truth?”
You nodded.
“Even though you won’t remember?”
You nodded.
Well, shit, this was not how Jungwon thought he’d confess his love to you, but there’s always surprises for everyone. “I’m in love with you.” he stated blankly, staring straight ahead in fear of your reaction.
Any of his dying hope that remained was ultimately squashed as your unreadable expression dawned on him. “You… love me?”
Jungwon snorted at the realisation that he now served his heart on a silver platter for you. “Mhm.” he nodded. “I have for quite a while.”
Listening to his response, a smile spread across your face. As you sighed, an undertone of happiness under it, you suddenly perked up. “Perfect!” you spoke optimistically.
He raised a brow at your behaviour. “Perfect how?” His heart was practically shattered to pieces and the rejection in which he faced was certainly anything, but perfect—though it seems in your books that would be the case however.
“Because we’re on the same page of what we feel towards each other!” an uncharacteristically childish side of you was exhibited through this tale of emotions as you giggled triumphantly.
Jungwon scoffed in amusement. “Y/N… sorry to burst this bubble of yours… but I think we’re actually on complete opposite sides of the page here.”
“How?” you furrowed your brows
“Well for starters… I love you… and you don’t even like me.” he said, trying to decipher the connection in his head.
“Yes.” you reinstated.
Jungwon nodded. “So, where’s the connection?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” you huffed.
“No, not really, quite the opposite actually.” Jungwon retorted matter-of-factly, the fragments of his dignity hanging on by a thread by your reassurance that you did not like him in the slightest.
You sighed once more before straightening your posture and tightening your hold around his neck. “I love you too.” you hummed, your lips briefly brushing against the bridge between his neck and shoulder-blades.
“Sorry?”
“I love you Jungwon.”
A pause. Then a laugh.
Then a hiccup that followed a faint sob.
And the two of you were lowered to the ground.
Despite your confusion, you found yourself crouched behind Jungwon as he squatted with his head on his forearm.
Tentatively, you crab walked to his side and tugged at this dress shirt. “Won?”
After another hiccup, Jungwon mumbled into his arms. “Don’t scare me like that.”
Slowly, Jungwon wiped at his cheeks and looked to you, your lips were swollen from you nervously biting them and your eyes looked as if they held every star in the universe. Man, were you perfect to him.
With a fond smile, Jungwon reached out and tucked a stray hair behind your ear. Swiftly, he moved his hand to caress your cheek softly and you nuzzled into his palm. “Shall we discuss this over a cup of water and a more sober mind?” he joked.
You giggled at his remark before nodding adamantly.
Sure, Jungwon had waited and watched from afar, yet all that hell was worth it to see that bright smile across your face.
The smile that was caused from him, just him.
—
Nervous. Nervous was all you could use to describe how the sight the man you were utterly infatuated with splayed before you.
This nervous energy was the same you felt those few nights ago when the very man in front of you walked you home for the first time.
Your eyelids flickered every now and then, the buzz of the alcohol still lingering in your system. As you sat upon the countertop, a glass full of water that had been refilled countless times at this point in hand, you stared at Jungwon with hearts in your eyes.
Yes, the nerves were very adamantly swirling through your being, but so was the love you felt blooming in your chest. How lovely of a feeling it was to have a reciprocated feeling of want from the person you were encapsulated by.
Jungwon turned around, now meeting eye-to-eye with you, only to find you staring at him, your full attention on him. His cheeks flared red and he quickly diverted his eyes. “W-why are you looking at me like that?” he gulped nervously, rubbing the back of his neck.
You shrugged, a smile finding its way on your lips. “I don’t know… you’re just so handsome, I can’t help myself.” Your conscious mind was screaming in agony—in what world would you ever say stuff like this? The confidence built from the mere motivation of alcohol somehow allowed for you to exude this poise you wouldn’t have developed otherwise.
He chuckled nervously. “Oh, come on Y/N, don’t say stuff like that.” he exhaled as he shook his head. He was busy concocting a tea to help lessen the toll the soju would have on you in the morning, as well as to sober you up slightly so he knew you were at least somewhat aware of the conversation unfolding between you.
Teasingly, tauntingly, you tilted your head, a pout to your lips as you mumbled. “Why? I’m only saying the truth?” The sincerity in your voice only pushed a grin onto Jungwon’s face, a smug one at that.
“Oh yeah?” he jeered. After stirring the tea around and blowing on it, he turned to you, and continued the provoking atmosphere. “What other truths do you have in that pretty little head of yours?” He raised his eyebrows suggestively, caging your figure in effectively between his stable arms, after handing you the tea.
You pretended to ponder, sipping the tea whilst humming. “Hmm… I’m not sure…” you playfully mused. As you settled the tea down on the counter, you met face to face with Jungwon again, a calm expression entrancing you. You looked down, innocence and teasing written all over your body.
Slowly, your hand moved from his situated ones on the countertop, guiding their way from his forearm, to his elbow, brushing over his dress shirt that had been rolled up to that point, and trailing over his bicep. Alongside your travels, your eyes followed each movement of your hand, carefully following and scanning each crevice that your hand marked.
Finally, they brushed up over his shoulder, caressing his collarbone before landing on his chest. As these ministrations continued, the both of you found yourselves breathing heavily, suffocated by the tense atmosphere. You could feel his heart beating recklessly against his chest. Your other hand soon followed, skipping the path up his other arm and immediately resting on his chest next to your nimble fingers.
“Your heart’s racing.” you stated, eyes flickering up to his own.
Jungwon inched closer to you, his body slotting in between your legs. “Yeah?” he whispered cockily. His hands moved to hold your elbows as he straightened his posture, head no longer aligned with yours. “Why do you think that is?”
You hummed, head tilting upwards to look at him. “Not sure.”
He lifted his brows in mock surprise. “You.” he simply stated.
Slowly, he moved his head closer to yours, words tumbling from his lips. “It’s always been you. Your eyes, your lips, my god, your lips.” he huffed out impatiently. “You’re so pretty to me Y/N, did you know that? You must know that you’re the prettiest girl in the world, yeah?” His nose brushed against yours as his lips were mere inches from your own.
You could feel his exhales fanning on your face, each breath drawn from the two of you mingling with each other. “Y/N, I’ll have you know that I’m a selfish man.” he rasped, eyes gaping into yours with a half-lidded gaze.
“Really?” you hummed, your hand reaching to connect behind his neck, fidgeting with the tufts of hair that met at his nape. “How so?”
He looked to the side in contemplation before looking into your eyes once more, “If you’ll let me have you, I’m afraid I can’t let anyone else take what’s mine.”
A smug grin settled on your face, the edges of your lips a taunting spell to Jungwon, whose eyes betrayed him as he glanced down to your change in expression. “Then I’m all yours.” you mumbled quietly, like you only wanted him to hear it.
Jungwon moved impossibly closer to you, noses brushing and lips ghosting over yours. If he moved in the slightest, both your lips would collide. “Stop me if I’m going too far.” he declared, not wanting to push the limit.
“Just fucking kiss me Jungwon.”
With no hesitation, your lips met with his in a moment you could only describe as bliss.
Pure, utter bliss.
His lips moved in motion with yours, hands raising to cup your face in his hold, effectively deepening the affectionate lock. You hummed as you felt your lips mold against each other.
Gasps of air left you exasperated, but you weren’t separated for long. As the both of you looked to each other, glazed over eyes and puffy lips, you met once gain with feverish haste, your desire for each other adamant in this very moment.
Jungwon groaned in satisfaction. The love of his life was finally in his arms. And he couldn’t have imagined a better way for the two of you to finally combine as one—there were a million other possibilities Jungwon had mapped out, even dreamed about, but none of them compared to the reality of actually having you to himself, in his grasp,
And on his lips.
—
Dazed. Dazed was all you could use to describe how the feeling of waking up after an experience synonymous to euphoric splayed before you.
You jolted up in bed, blood rushing to your head at the sudden movement. The tea Jungwon practically shoved down your throat certainly helped ease the progression and outcome of a hangover, but you had quite a bit—a lot—to drink.
Stepping out of bed, you exited your room to be hit by the smell of a comforting stew being brewed. With a growing smile, you called out as you approached. “Unnie! You know me so well!” you gleamed. As you poked your head from the hallway and peered into the kitchen, you were met with, once again, not Yebin.
Your shock was evident on your face, and your cheeks grew hot from the sight of Jungwon stirring the pot. He smirked as he turned around. “Unnie again? Will you call me Jungwon-unnie from now on?” he teased before turning towards the stove once more.
A flaming blush spread across your cheeks, even reaching your ears, as you crossed your arms and looked to the floor bashfully. “No…” you pouted, kicking your feet absentmindedly. “It was an honest mistake…”
He chuckled at your retort. “Oh? How about Oppa?”
“Get out.” you asserted, your face contorting in a way that only showed displeasure. What a funny sentiment. You were older by a plentiful amount of years, how humorous of him. “You wish.” you shook your head, snorting at the thought.
Your slippers padded against the floor as you took a seat at the dining table, resting your head on a propped up fist. “What are you making Won?” The nickname rolled out so casually, Jungwon almost missed the ring of it.
Jungwon coughed in surprise. “Hangover soup…” he murmured, looking as if he shrunk into his own figure whilst stirring the pot.
With a roll of your eyes, you huffed. “I’m not a light drinker you know? What’s with all this taking care of me business?”
Jungwon shrugged. After the drunken confessions from you the night before, he felt more confident and playful with his demeanour towards you. “Can’t a man take care of the woman he’s interested in?” he nonchalantly heckled. As your response followed a brief moment of silence, Jungwon followed up. “Can’t he?” He turned to you.
He tried to withhold the smile that threatened to appear once he bore witness to your inflamed cheeks and flattened grin, suppressing the very new, very raw emotions that came alight with your mistake of having one too many drinks. “You can’t just say that…” you muttered, turning away from him and looking out the closest window to you.
As he shook his head, he turned back to the stove and finished off the final touches to his stew. “By the way…” he began again after a comfortable silence settled. “Do you mind if we visit my work before heading to the markets?” he asked politely.
You hummed in response, looking forward to seeing everyone again despite being around them only a few hours prior.
Eventually, the both of you had made it out of the house hastily after finishing your first meal. Yebin took the liberty in dropping her son off at the daycare since she was well aware of your situation—she found out when she saw Jungwon folding the blanket he had slept with on the couch and took a fright to the unfamiliar sight.
Safe to say, it was an interesting way to wake up, and a fun night of interrogation would be determined in the near future against you.
Somehow, the crisp chill of the air refreshed your vitals, and despite it nipping at your skin, you basked in the brisk weather happily. Whilst you walked, Jungwon looked to his side and watched as your scarf slowly and unnoticeably slipped from your shoulder.
You were too engrossed in the fall foliage to notice the descent of your clothing, but the action of Jungwon fixing it up for you most definitely caught your attention. Looking up at him curiously, the concentration woven between his brows brought warmth in the chill of the weather before you. “Another conquest for the ‘woman you’re interested in’ perhaps?” you said teasingly, though a fond smile grew on your face.
A gleaming and contagious grin mirrored on Jungwon’s own, with a final tightening to your scarf to ensure no more breakage and micro adjustments, he spoke with finality. “Perhaps so.”
To hide the overwhelming feeling of love pooling in your heart, you stuffed your face in your scarf, the one Jungwon had just readjusted, and smiled freely beneath the covers. You shoved your hands in your coat pockets and marched ahead of him to deal with the consequences of accepting his love, and most importantly, your love for him.
Without a doubt, you were happy in this moment, but in the worst times are you reminded of your status in this world. This world that only left fleeting moments as your memories, and this too, will become a moment left behind in time.
Jungwon will pass on, and you will live with the regret of ever loving a person, stripping them of their ability to find and love another.
You hoped. You really hoped that this one could be your last. The one that stays. The one that will grow old as time passes. Where you grow old.
The ice in which you sealed your heart in began to melt and gave way for the entrance of Jungwon, much like the fall day upon you.
From behind, Jungwon latched himself onto your figure, caging you in a bear like hug.
With a selfish gleam and intention, you smiled up at him, planting a gentle kiss on his cheeks as you arrogantly believed in the hope of growing old with the man in front of you.
And as he squeezed you tight, that selfish ulterior motive couldn’t have been more apparent in the genuine smile you unleashed.
—
Detached. Detached was all you could use to describe how the feeling of being with a group splayed before you.
Somewhat out-worldly it felt watching the guys interact—laughter, banter, and brutal slander against each other. Though the massive smiles that stretched on each of their faces proved a bound of care and adoration they held within for each other.
And whilst you sat idly next to Jungwon, silently watching their interactions as they half-worked and half-talked, you couldn’t help but to feel regretful for all the other friendships and desires you opposed due to your circumstances, each tie you severed to save yourself only did more harm than good.
You replayed every memory, every person, every potential partner, and a wave of longing struck upon you. The only cause of breaking out of your thoughts was Jungwon leaning over and whispering in your ear. “I have a seperate office over there if you want to go somewhere private and alone.” he offered, eyebrows furrowed in concern.
At first you contemplated. You wanted to stay in this room with the others and bask in the feeling of friendship and sincerity, but that feeling was so overwhelming that you couldn’t enjoy a sliver of it.
So with a hestitant nod, you stepped over to Jungwon’s personal office, blocked off from the large square room that held the guys’ desks, and locked yourself inside.
His room was modestly decorated, a few art pieces hung up around the office. He even had a few bookshelves cascading upon his walls, a variety of books ranging from novels to lawful studies sat on display.
Upon closer inspection, a familiar maroon-purple book spine caught your attention. “Oh my god.” you whispered exasperated under your breath. In your grasp, was your favourite book. Your finger traced the words ‘Profound Feeling Of You’ delicately, then moved to open the book.
In your surprise, there lay a ripped page from a small notebook, the one that he kept in the inner pocket of his blazer, that had the schedule of his day from when the two of you first spoke. As you picked off the small paper, under it was a short piece of writing on the title page.
Tears formed in your eyes as you read the words in his handwriting. ‘Yang Jungwon!’ the first line stated. ‘Don’t get this ending with Ms. Baker! It’s wron inherently wrong!’ he wrote.
Flicking through the pages, you noticed that he had written on some lines, a small message to himself as thoughts he couldn’t contain were unleashed.
The part read— “And Jiangyi bore her eyes into Shenqi’s back, his figure disappeared into the abyss of the field “Shenqi!” she called. Was it her imagination, or did he pause in motion? “I love you!” she declared for a final time.
He did pause. And in his momentary hesitation, he turned to look at her, a broken look to his eyes as he smiled, a final farewell to his everlasting love. “Jiangyi.” he began. “Let me go.” he repeated the words he declared previously.
And Jiangyi cried. How could she let go, when all she’d ever done was hold on?”
You switched to the handwritten words on the side, an amused giggle leaving your lips. Jungwon had written, ‘Shenqi is not a real man’.
Shaking your head, you flicked to the last page, the last hoorah of the book. You hadn’t bothered reading the last few lines, the book practically memorised in your head after various break time readings.
Though, what Jungwon had written in accordance to his closing thoughts willed you to read it just once more. It read— “On her wedding, filled with the people she loved the most, her most beloved person she wished to stand before her, was absent in his wake. Hua Shenqi, that jerk of a man, should’ve been the one in front of her. A tear fell from her eye, and her soon-to-be husband smiled at her, though his figure practically merged into the background.
How could she convey the loss of a person who wasn’t even dead?”
Jungwon responded with his own take. ‘Ms. Baker was cruel to recommend this to me.’ he began. As you read, the words he had spoken to you displayed themselves on the paper. ‘A love story definitely, but… happy ending? No. Why did he give up? Why did she let him? Oh, good, I’ll bring these points up with her.’
You smiled at the memory, but he wasn’t finished. Eventually, he wrote below his previous, final words, and wrote a secondary conclusion in different ink. ‘Okay sure, Ms. L/N Y/N, maybe it was ‘unexplainably life-altering’, I’ll give you that!’
A blush blossomed on your cheeks as you settled the book down, slotting it back into its place on the shelf. Peering into his inner thoughts written on paper felt somewhat revealing, and you turned away from the shelves bashfully.
Who knew Yang Jungwon could pertain such petty thoughts?
—
Gratified. Gratified was all you could use to describe how it felt to have Jungwon’s persistence splayed before you.
Once again, you found yourself sitting idly on your stool as Jungwon greeted customers with a grand smile hooked upon his face, his dimples only emphasising his enjoyment of the situation as he took over your stall.
It seemed as of recent that as Jungwon had become more of a constant in your life, the days began to pass slowly, slower than ever before. You imagined it was some god having an ounce of mercy on you after prohibiting your life sentence from ending—though you knew eventually they’d have to stop toying with you at some point.
After a particularly tiring shift—what’s not tiring at this rate?—Jungwon turned to you with a long, dragged out sigh. His hands gripped the board behind him as he leaned his back against the front counter, forearms tensed as he squeezed the wood. He quirked a brow at your lethargic posture, a tilt to his head adding to the perplexity. “How long have you been staring at my back?” he queried.
You looked to him with a purse of your lips, before turning away to avert your gaze. “Only just now.” you murmured, the slightest pout to your lips. Your tone hadn’t held the confident flare it normally did, so Jungwon approached you carefully.
Once he was stood directly in front of you, he cupped your face in his hands and tilted your head up. “You’re lying.” he teased, that same flirtatious stretch to his lips encapsulated you for the nth time.
When you shook your head in disapproval, he squished your cheeks together with the palm of his hands. “Hmm… you’re weird.” he speculated. “Are you okay?”
You hesitantly nodded, but that same lack of assurance lingered. Jungwon knew something was up, but didn’t want to push your limits. With a firm smile, he leant down and pressed a kiss on your nose gently. “Let me know if you need anything, okay?” he whispered, hands moving to settle on your shoulders, giving them a light rub.
After quietly agreeing, he turned around once more to do all the dirty work you thrust upon him—he enjoyed doing the tasks you found physically taxing, which is why you found yourself sat on your stool rather than serving your customers.
How utterly tragic. Immediately as he turned, your enthusiasm couldn’t have been further down in the dirt.
He was a perfect man, this Yang Jungwon, so as you thought over the plan you contemplated whilst walking with him towards the markets—yes, another detailed, thought over, and arrogant plan—you felt guilty.
Not only were you planning to break off this situation despite it not having happened to its fullest potential, you weren’t going to explain it to him. Did you feel like a complete and utter jerk? Absolutely. But, after reading over the book again, your favourite, you had to reconsider your choices.
The book was your die-hard favourite for a reason, and it was because it reminded yourself of you. Sure, they weren’t destined to live eternally, but Shenqi had broken himself off from Jiangyi with no explanation. You didn’t even know why he broke it off, and you spent a precarious amount of your time trying to solve the mystery of his absence.
All conclusions led to, as you guessed, nothing.
It was ironic in a way. Jiangyi and yourself would never find out the reason for Shenqi leaving her, and Jungwon would never discover the truth to why you were soon to leave him. Cruel, is what it is.
Once more, Jungwon looked over his shoulder towards your direction, and hastily you plastered a reassuring smile on your face. In response he projected a tug to his lips that didn’t quite reach his eyes, before he turned to the front to tend to another incoming customer. Was he aware of the situation he would soon face? Was this intuition?
Soon, the working day come to an end, and the sun kissed the land gently on the horizon. Jungwon dusted his hands off after closing the stall for the night, then turned to you with a satisfied expression. “Let’s go?”
You nodded, and he draped an arm over your shoulders. You let it happen. After all, you most likely wouldn’t experience a thing like this again.
As the both of you walked, Jungwon had chatted your ear off about what catastrophes occurred after you had escaped to his office earlier in the day. Something about another bet between the guys, a brief haggle between Jake and Sunoo, though it was mostly Jake’s fault for teasing the poor man, and some other probably important, probably entertaining event that faded into the abyss of your fogged mind.
“Y/N?” Jungwon had repeated. When you blinked at him in surprise, Jungwon chuckled in amusement, crossed with disbelief. “Okay, something isn’t right here Ms.” he shook his head. “You’ve been zoning out more often than normal.”
You hummed. “Hmm? What do you mean?” you plead innocence. Maybe if you acted accordingly, he would breeze past. But Jungwon wasn’t that type of guy.
With a retrained sigh, he opened up about his worries carefully. “It’s just…” he pouted his lips in thought. “You’ve been acting off recently… I just want to know if you’re okay?” Jungwon turned his head to you, eyes sparkling radiantly as concern was etched into his features.
Why? Why did you have to fall for such a good man? A considerate one? Not an ounce of wrong was in his nerves, his blood. Perhaps the gods weren’t slowing down time in your favour, but rather as an entertaining show to watch as you slowly developed deeper feelings for Jungwon.
“I’m okay.” you nodded, attempting to have some semblance to a content expression, but your facade was practically transparent as Jungwon saw right through you.
“But, you’re not.” he replied firmly, eyebrows furrowing in concern.
Your lips twitched in an emotion alike to annoyance? Irritation? “Mr. Yang.” No longer did you use an endearing nickname, nor his first name. You wanted your intentions set straight. “I said I’m okay, can’t you accept that?” you argued.
In a twist of frustration, Jungwon’s eyebrows pinched impossibly closer together. “No, I can’t. I won’t.” he huffed. “Sure, we aren’t exclusively official, I’ll give you that, but come on Y/N, I’m inviting you to lean on me. I just want to be here for you.” he declared steadily, voice unwavering.
Hesitant. You were hesitant yet the next words that followed the bite of your lips could not be reversed. You should’ve contemplated a bit further, but then again, it had to go according to plan. “Exactly, we aren’t each other’s person.” you angrily retorted. “So stop acting like we’re closer than we are.”
If you had plunged a knife into his chest, twisted it, then pushed it in some more, the ache he would’ve experienced wouldn’t have compared to what you had just said. “I’m sorry?” he scoffed in exasperation.
At this point, Jungwon had stopped walking, urging you to follow suit.
“You heard me.” you rebutted, your stance unwavering as you further pushed this agenda.
Jungwon smirked. “Did last night mean nothing?” he tested the waters. He nimbly approached you, hand reaching to hover over your cheek, but not quite gracing it. “Were my lips that intertwined with yours so eagerly just a figment of my imagination?”
You noticeably gulped, and Jungwon didn’t miss it. Yet, you were quick to recover your resolve. “Mm.” you shrugged neutrally. “Wasn’t much to me.”
The love of your life, the one whose kisses you cherished so deeply, the one whose presence was something you looked forward to, had a flicker of realisation pass through his mind. And it showed in his eyes. His previously determined, somewhat cocky attitude, faded into one of betrayal and disbelief. “Y/N.” his voice trembled unsurely. “You don’t mean that, right?” his creased eyebrows eased as they upturned in a naive sort’ve flair.
“I meant it.” you declared. “I regret doing all of that with you.” Your hands dropped to your sides, feeling both the weight of a pressing issue lifted from your shoulders, but a large hound of hesitance, regret, and guilt piled onto your conscience, overthrowing the feeling of liberty that you relished in momentarily.
Jungwon shook his head in disbelief whilst pursing his lips. He grabbed for your hands, taking them in his own as he squeezed you tight. Almost instinctively, he knelt down on his knees, a plead to your presence. “Y/N.” he whispered. Not once in this whole debacle did he raise his voice, and now, he was the quietest he’d ever been. “I love you.” he declared, and he hoped it wasn’t for a final time.
You paused. And in your momentary hesitation, you looked down at Jungwon with a broken look to your eyes. This was it. You smiled, hopefully a final farewell to your fleeting—though it seemed as if it’d be everlasting—love. “Jungwon.” you began. “Let me go.” your smile lingered as your words held an underlying meaning that went beyond the physical touch between the two of you.
And Jungwon’s lip trembled. How could he let go, when he had only just been able to hold on?
—
Hopeless. Hopeless was all you could use to describe the repurcussions splayed before you.
When you arrived at your door earlier, a grinning Yebin awaited your arrival as she was ready to welcome you with her interrogation and greetings. Only, you were crying and her happiness was exchanged for concern. “Huh?! Honey, are you okay?” Her eyes were blown with despair, empathy swirling through her core at the sight of your teary eyes.
You explained everything. You didn’t need to hide it from her.
Had it been Jungwon’s fault, Yebin was ready to swing her fist straight to his face, but your reasoning for breaking it off urged her to slap you on the back, lovingly—at least that’s what she wanted to convey.
“Are you out of your mind? ‘It’s best for the both of us’” Yebin mocked your words in a ridiculing tone. “Best for the both of you, or best for him? Y/N you should think for yourself sometimes!” she reprimanded. You opened your mouth to retort, refute, anything to defend your case, but she wasn’t done lecturing you. “I’m not sure if this was even best for him? He loves you, why would he accept this choice?”
Your lip trembled as you thought over her words. “Yebin.” you began, voice shaky. “I’ve lost so many before him. Those? I willingly gave it up, but this one- this one I actually thought could break whatever curse laid upon me.” You shook your head, hands reaching to grab at Yebin’s. “Lord knows the willpower it took to deny him, but if I didn’t do it now, when would the time come? When could I tell him that I wanted to end things, and everything would be better? This was the only way!” Your voice raised as the emotions pressing down on your heart began to flow out.
Yebin clicked her tongue, less in an annoyed sense and more in a defeated one. “Did you have to break his heart so recklessly though? Your heart?” She shook her head. “Y/N, you love him too.”
With a nod of your head, you agreed whole-heartedly with her statement. “I do. I love him till the ends of the earth.” you sighed emptily. “Which is why I had to. Don’t you think if I let him off delicately, he’d just barge his way back in? Yang Jungwon is not an easy man to avoid. This is the only way he won’t come back to me, he still has dignity you know?”
The woman across from you scoffed in amusement. “If it were you he lost his dignity for, he would do it in an instant and a thousand times over. You’re severely underestimating him.”
You couldn’t deny that you held onto that hope. That maybe someday he’d come knocking on your door, begging for you to stay with him. If he did, you weren’t sure what you’d do—you knew that running back to him was inevitable if ever he appeared in front of you, so you supposed you did know what you’d do.
In the whole ordeal, regretfully, you closed down your stall. The one thing occupying your day. There were a few reasons to this. For one, you wanted to limit any close or face-to-face contact with Jungwon, two, winter was soon to come and the convenience was there, three you didn’t want to see Jungwon up close, and four, Yang Jungwon. So maybe your reasoning was obvious, but excuses or not, it was the best option.
However, you contradicted yourself on many occasions. Perhaps you found yourself trailing him when you saw him, watching from afar as you studied his work ethic, his interactions, and… how he was coping.
Overall, he seemed okay. At work, initially, he wasn’t completely there mentally, though through your viewings, the guys helped him out immensely. You were grateful that he had a circle of people around him to support and advance him through the day.
After a while, you started to feel strange for watching him. And eventually your viewings of him lessened, and you found yourself seeing him every once in a while, a look of longing settling on your features, before diverting your vision and ignoring the feeling.
And then it happened. News spread that a humble, handsome lawyer was soon to be wed with a wealthy, beautiful woman from a prestigious family. You ignored it at first, not much interest in the marriage of two people you were unfamiliar with, until Yujin had tapped your arm and shoved a newspaper in your face.
“Noona! Look!” he pointed at one of the sections on the newspaper. The name Yang Jungwon alongside another woman’s name and the words ‘to be wed’ highlighted gave an inherent shock to your body as soon as you glazed over it.
Your eyes skimmed the paper and the details to his wedding were outlined at the end of the announcement block.
Safe to say, you found yourself entering a new event on your calendar.
—
Apathetic. Apathetic was all Jungwon could use to describe the wedding ceremony splayed before him.
Correction, his wedding ceremony.
The woman he were to be wed to was an arranged marriage that his parents had set up. The two of then hadn’t even gotten to know each other before the ceremony was settled.
So much for having the freedom of choosing.
He sighed heavily, clad in a brown suit, darker than the one he had first met you in. What a joke, he was still thinking about you even on the supposed ‘most important day of his life’. How could he not? He only wished for you to be on the receiving end of this marital contract, to watch you walk down the aisle, to slide the ring on your finger, to kiss you at the end when you complete your ‘I do’s’.
But that dream wasn’t a reality. It never would be.
As he awaited his soon to be wife at the end of the aisle, he bore his eyes into the shut double doors at the end of the church. Then she emerged, a stunning dress complimented her perfect figure. She was definitely beautiful, but she couldn’t live up to you. If this woman was perfect, you were out-worldly.
Jungwon had zoned out when she finally approached. Her father handed her off to him, and he gave a tight smile and a curt nod.
The ceremony was a blur. On his wedding, filled with the people he loved most—amongst other visitors who came just to witness a marriage—the most beloved person he wished to stand before him, was absent in her wake. L/N Y/N, that dream of a woman, should’ve been the one in front of him. A tear fell from his eye, and his soon-to-be wife smiled at him, though her figure practically merged into the background.
How could he convey the loss of a person who wasn’t even dead?
—
EPILOGUE
Paralysed. Paralysed was all you could use to describe how you felt upon witnessing the wedding ceremony splayed before you.
You had arrived in a modest yet secretive disguise, not wanting to be seen, or worse, recognised by Jungwon or presumably any of his friends that were a part of this ceremony.
You watched as she gracefully walked down the aisle, her wedding dress flowing behind her in a manner only reminiscent of an angelic presence.
Time seemed to slow down again as the painstakingly heart wrenching view of your first love interlinking in a binding love contract registered in your brain. And as he gave her a peck after their ‘I do’s’ you couldn’t help the flow of tears that left your eyes.
Many others around you had begun crying too, but for the reason of two people connecting as one, yet this very reasoning was what made you cry in a different sense.
People stood in applause, and you took this opportunity to briskly escape the church, a sob wracking through your body as you slipped out unnoticed.
It was only when you arrived home and looked to the dining table, your world paused briefly. There, sat on top of a few other pieces of mail, was a letter addressed to you. The handwriting looked undeniably like his, but you didn’t get your hopes up. After all, you just watched as he was married off to another woman.
Though, as you ripped open the letter, your presumptions were proven wrong.
Dear My Love, Ms. Baker, The Most Beautiful Girl in the World, Y/N,
It’s odd to think I’m writing you a letter.
I contemplated on so many occasions on whether or not I should come to see you, attempt to mend our relationship in some way. But the time never came.
I’ll give it to you Ms. L/N, you effectively stomped on my heart and walked off, but I don’t hate you. In fact I’m not even surprised that I still love you.
I’m getting married today.
It wasn’t my choice.
If it was, I’d have you in front of me with that beautiful smile of yours. Aren’t I the worst for thinking about you despite my engagement? My marriage?
Y/N. I have so many questions to ask you. But I’ll withhold from mentioning them, I wouldn’t want to burden you further with the looming questions in my mind. Though, I wonder if we can meet once more, perhaps in another life, where things will be different, and I can safely call you mine, hold you in my arms, and never ever let you go.
I read over the book once more—just to feel some connection with you—and I could only laugh at how our story seemed to align with theirs. Would you be Shenqi?
I’ll say this once more, as this’ll be my first and last letter to you. I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you.
I don’t think I could truly love anyone as much as I loved you.
I miss you Y/N, and I hope to see you again, in our next life.
Sincerely, Mr. Crust.
ENDING NOTES: and that’s a wrap for Sincerely Mr Crust! im aware of how fast and rushed the ending was, but ill be honest i just wanted this over and done with LOL. i hope you enjoyed my story, and hopefully there’ll be more to come!! maybe some shorter stories bc obviously writing these stories are not my forte timing wise 😭😭 i hope to see you again next time <3
description: She was the girl no one remembered. The one who lived in silence, shadows, and secrets. Until the King noticed her. Zia never wanted to be seen. Jungwon never wanted to love. But fate doesn’t ask permission, and when the quiet girl of Dormitory 13 turns out to be the only thing capable of calming the most dangerous vampire alive, everything changes. Moonlight meets the crown. Silence meets devotion. And the Young King finally kneels, for love.
warnings: Mature. Allusions to smut. Someone dies.
wc: 18k
an: I sure did make this story very serious and then chaotic for no reason other than because its funny. Y'all didn't seriously think I'd write a Enhypen story, and not make them sing and dance at least once, right?
Part 1
Read Part One or this wont make sense, and the whole series goes together as well.
Zia was walking to dinner.
Nothing grand. Just a meal with friends. But it meant something. It meant everything.
Her boots thudded lightly on the stone path that led from her dorm through the outer woods and back into campus. The sky was slowly dimming into sunset streaks of violet and honey melting over treetops. The wind brushed her cheek gently like a whispered promise.
Her fingers were tucked into her sleeves, the hem of her blue sweater brushing against her thighs. She didn’t rush. She rarely did now.
Because there was no longer anything to run from.
It had been a month since Jungwon kissed her.
But neither of them were the type to drown in need. They were not made of fire. They were the kind of people who found eternity in silence and comfort in the quietest places. Her cheek on his chest as he read. His breath against her hair while she dreamed. Their bond didn’t demand anything.
He stayed in her dorm more nights than not now.
She didn’t question it, and neither did he.
They never spoke about it she just opened the door, and he walked in. And every time, she’d feel his weight settle beside her in bed, his hand finding her hip, their bodies curling together like threads being woven into a tapestry.
She moved with him.
Brushed his black bangs out of his eyes when they slid forward. Tapped his nose when he frowned in his sleep. Traced circles on his chest when his mind was too loud to rest.
When they sat together during free periods or on the hill behind the dorms beneath the old weeping willow she’d claimed as hers; she always reached for his hand. Her fingers would skim over his knuckles, still calloused but no longer torn open. And over time, she felt them heal.
He clenched his fists less. He didn’t carry tension in his jaw the way he used to.
He breathed easier. Spoke softer.
He smiled now.
And maybe that was her magic too.
Jungwon had slowly introduced her to his brothers. One by one. With patience and care. He let her get used to their chaos, their teasing, their instincts. Never rushed her. And now they treated her like she had always been there.
“Zia!”
“Little moonbeam!”
“Sly fox, give that back!”
They called her names. Teased her. Doted on her.
Protected her.
Sunoo claimed she was the missing piece of their whole mess of a puzzle. Jay said she was the only one who could get Jungwon to actually eat a damn meal. Heeseung looked at her like she was the future his brother needed. And Ni-ki once gave her a bracelet made of carved bone and didn’t explain why.
She just slipped it on and smiled.
When she was alone now, she rarely stayed that way. The girls would always find her.
Seori dragging her into sunlight potions for skin glow and petal charm spells. Sora showing up with smoke trailing behind her asking if she wanted to “haunt the boys.” Jiyoon making her sit down to try her new magic tea blends even if they tasted like lavender ash.
Da-eun holding her hand without a word while reading side by side. Kija pulling her to parties, laughing like Zia was born for this life. And Claire, her soul sister meeting her in the woods in fox form, their paws brushing as they ran under the moonlight.
Sometimes they just curled up under the sun and napped together, tails twitching. No words. Just warmth.
She had never had this before. This peace. This noise. This joy.
She’d always lived in shadows, wrapped in silence, hiding pieces of herself she thought were too sharp or too strange for the world.
Now she was seen.
She was felt.
She was loved.
As she reached the courtyard entrance, she could already hear the girls laughing from inside the dining hall. Potions popped somewhere. Glass broke. Someone cursed in three different languages. It smelled like lavender, cinnamon, and mischief.
Zia smiled softly.
Tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear.
And opened the door to her life.
⊱⋆⊰
The dining hall glowed golden.
Lantern light spilled down from the tall ceilings, glimmering across silver platters and clinking crystal goblets. The long oak table in the center of the room was slightly chaotic, half covered in plates and potion flasks, napkins folded into strange animal shapes, and at least three half burnt spell scrolls.
It was home.
There were Fourteen of them tonight.
Seven vampire brothers. Seven women who had once been strangers but were now everything.
Heeseung had his arm around Jiyoon’s shoulders, her fingers drawing lazy circles along the sleeve of his shirt as he whispered something in her ear that made her roll her eyes with a smile she couldn’t hide.
Jay was sitting half slung in his chair, one hand behind Seori’s neck, his thumb gently rubbing the edge of her jaw as she tucked herself under his arm, laughing at something Da-eun said.
Jake was leaning sideways, his head resting against Claire’s as she fed him slices of moonfruit with her fingers and giggled every time he pretended to bite her instead. Their engagement rings clinked together when their hands met.
Sunghoon and Kija were tangled together on one side of the table bench, her long legs draped over his lap, her head on his chest as he absently ran a hand down her hair. She was murmuring something into his shirt about stealing his jacket, and he was pretending not to care.
Sunoo and Sora were quietly mocking everyone from their side of the table, even while Sora kept spooning food into his bowl and Sunoo kept rearranging the candles to reflect better lighting on her. Their shadows danced together on the walls behind them.
Ni-ki and Da-eun were doing that soft, understated thing they always did. Sitting shoulder to shoulder. Legs pressed close. Not a word spoken between them, but every now and then, he’d brush crumbs off her plate or she’d fix the collar of his shirt. No dramatics just devotion.
And at the very center of it all were the newest pair. Their fingers were laced under the table. Not hidden. Not flaunted. Just silently known.
⊱⋆⊰
Jungwon wasn’t smiling. He rarely did.
But he was watching.
Everything.
His brothers. His family. The table that used to be filled with empty plates and arguments and silence. The girls who had turned the walls of their world soft with laughter, perfume, magic, and light.
And then, her.
His mate.
That word still hit him in the chest every time.
Mate.
He never thought he’d have one. Not really.
He thought he was too cold, too harsh, too buried in duty and bone deep silence. That maybe the vampire gods had forgotten him, or decided he’d been made to lead, not love.
But then they sent him her.
She didn’t shatter him.
She tethered him. Softly.
She anchored him to the present, to the here and now, and she did it without demands. Without a single word.
She reminded him of soil. Of roots. Of moonlight dripping through leaves at midnight.
Her touch was gentle but firm, just like her hand in his now. Holding. Not squeezing. Not letting go.
He looked down at their joined hands beneath the table.
Her thumb brushed his knuckles once.
And something unlocked in his chest.
He watched her laugh softly at something Claire said. Watched how she nodded along to Seori's retelling of some mishap with a flying pastry spell. Watched how her hair while brown was nearly moon silver in the lantern glow; fell forward and how she tucked it behind her ear like always.
His Zia.
No. Their Zia as well.
Because she was theirs now. This chaotic, beautiful family. She belonged. In every pocket of the world they’d built together.
And somehow so did he.
He felt her squeeze his hand once, gently, grounding him again. He looked at her fully now, not just her hands or lips or the soft shell of her ear.
He looked at her eyes. They didn’t speak. But the message was loud.
“You’re not alone.”
No, he wasn’t. Not anymore.
And for once, Jungwon let his lips curve just slightly. Barely there.
But she saw it. She always did.
And when she leaned her head against his shoulder, the weight of it felt like a crown.
The young king wasn’t ruling anymore.
He was living.
⊱⋆⊰
The mansion was pulsing with music.
Golden chandeliers above, violet ambient lights swirling below. Someone had enchanted the marble floors to shimmer like stardust and the air was full of glamor dust, floating lazily like drunk fireflies. The crowd was thick with elites, heirs, fae royalty, vampire nobles, and more students than the council probably approved of.
In short, it was a disaster waiting to happen.
Naturally, the girls were thriving.
Magic pulsed in the floorboards, in the crystal drink glasses, in the glitter hanging in the air. This wasn’t just a party it was a declaration: power had arrived.
And that power?
The girls.
Seori was dancing atop a conjured sunbeam, spinning jars of sparkling light into mini solar bursts that exploded overhead like silent fireworks. Each one let off a different color and briefly blinded anyone looking up.
Kija sauntered through the crowd like a queen through her court, the red of her dress matching the bloody cocktails she stirred lazily with her finger, one eyebrow always raised like she was seconds from killing someone and probably was. One poor werewolf pup tried to flirt, and she hypnotized him into walking off the balcony. (He was fine. Unfortunately.)
Jiyoon was playing poker with a group of arrogant warlocks—every time they tried to lie, she flipped their emotions like a switch. One cried. Another tried to propose. She just grinned, sipping her drink like this was nothing new.
Da-eun and Claire had started a prank war across the dance floor. Da-eun's sonic pulses made the floorboards jolt just enough to trip people into Claire’s traps, she had glamoured everyone's drinks to taste like hot chili until someone apologized. No one had. And so the screams continued.
Sora, sweet, quiet Sora, had taken cover near the fireplace. She was gently repairing broken decorations and glasses with her shadows. One soft flick of her hand and everything mended itself like time reversed.
And beside her, just as quietly, was Zia.
Her freshly dyed silver hair shimmered under the soft lighting, pulled into a braid that hung over one shoulder. She worked in a slow, fluid rhythm, magic spiraling off her fingertips like stardust. While the others tore the party apart with laughter and games and firework jars, she repaired what was left behind.
She was calm. Gentle. Focused.
And Jungwon was wrecked.
Across the ballroom, seated at the reserved VIP table carved from obsidian stone, the seven vampires lounged like kings watching the world burn.
Except Jungwon wasn't watching the chaos.
He was watching her.
Head leaned against his hand, lips parted just slightly, jaw relaxed, eyes trailing her every breath like a starved man at a feast. The pulse in his throat ticked as he watched her lift her hand and fix a broken sconce with nothing but a flick of her wrist. She didn’t look around for thanks. She just helped. Quietly. Softly. Like him.
His entire body was relaxed, a slow exhale melting off him like the storm had passed.
He smiled.
Teeth and all.
And that's when Jay dropped his glass.
"Hold the fuck up," Jay said, pointing dramatically with wide eyes. "Did anyone else just see Jungwon smile? Like smile smile? Like he’s about to eat her but in a romantic way?”
Jake slowly turned. “...No way.”
Sunghoon, blinking, leaned over the table and snapped his fingers in front of Jungwon’s face.
Nothing. Not even a blink.
The kid was gone.
Ni-ki narrowed his eyes. “That’s not normal.”
Heeseung tilted his head. “It’s her,” he said, unsurprised. “It’s always been her.”
“Damn,” Jake laughed under his breath. “All we needed was a girlfriend to fix the tyrant. Who knew?”
“If we had known it’d make him this nice, we would’ve hunted her down first year,” Sunoo muttered, sipping from his shadow glass. “I mean, he hasn’t threatened to kill anyone in two whole hours.”
Jay scoffed. “I miss the death threats.”
“I don’t,” Ni-ki grinned. “I like this Jungwon.”
Heeseung cracked a rare smirk. “One little sorcerer turned our coldest brother into a domesticated boyfriend.”
“Look at him,” Jay cackled. “If that smile gets any bigger, his face is going to crack.”
As if on cue, Jungwon exhaled again content as Zia leaned into Sora and whispered something that made the shadow fae giggle. His fingers, which usually drummed with tension on the table, were still. Completely relaxed.
And then without turning he lifted his hand and pointed two fingers directly at the group like a loaded weapon.
Jay snorted. “Oh, he hears us.”
“Still smiling though,” Jake said with a proud grin.
“What a simp,” Sunghoon sighed.
But none of them could deny it.
Their leader the one who never cracked, never bent, never felt out loud, had finally found something to soften him. Or rather, someone.
Not just any girl.
His mate.
And as they watched Jungwon fall head over fangs in love from across the room, none of them said the word out loud.
Not yet.
The bond was growing. Quiet. Gentle. Magnetic.
And if this was what it looked like before he even claimed her?
They were all in trouble.
⊱⋆⊰
The party below raged on in glowing glamour and explosive magic, music thrumming through the walls like a heartbeat. But the real party?
It was hiding in the wine cellar.
Well not the wine cellar anymore. It had been spell locked by Seori the moment they got in, transformed into a plush, candlelit hideaway with floating pillows and soundproofing, thanks to Claire’s fox magic wards. A perfect hideout for fae, witches, and vampires with a penchant for mischief.
Illusions of the girls danced outside the walls of the room, talking to other students, sipping from glasses, doing completely normal party things.
All lies, of course. Seori’s illusion magic was flawless.
“Why are we like this,” Jiyoon asked, holding a pillow to her face, snorting into it.
“Because it works,” Sora mumbled, curled on a couch near the wall, shadows snaking up her arms as they soothed her nerves.
“It’s tradition at this point,” Da-eun said proudly, sprawled upside down on the floor, a lollipop hanging from her mouth. “Feels like when we were spying on the seven dwarfs.”
All eyes turned toward her.
She grinned. “Don’t lie. You all remember.”
Cue groans. Groans and laughter.
“Ugh, you mean when Seori made us hide under an invisibility sheet like deranged raccoons in the hallway?” Kija grumbled, legs crossed, hair somehow still perfect even in hiding. “I had to step on someone’s foot to not kill a first year.”
“Mine,” Jiyoon coughed, rubbing her toes.
“Worth it.”
They all cackled.
But then the laughter dimmed as attention turned.
To Zia.
Their sweet, silent eyed sorcerer, boneless on a velvet cushion like someone had unplugged her brain, staring into the astral plane.
Sora followed her gaze.
“…What is she looking at?”
Seori cracked open the secret viewing spell. Through the shimmer, they saw the ballroom chaos still swirling.
But there, near the back wall, was Jungwon.
And standing a little too close was Jay, talking animatedly with a smirk on his face.
Jungwon didn’t respond. He just reached out and punched Jay in the stomach.
Hard.
Jay doubled over with a loud oof, and the others at the table scrambled.
Back in the wine cellar, Da-eun burst out laughing.
“Oh, she’s gone.”
Seori made a delighted gasp. “And they haven’t even mated yet!”
“Zia-ah,” Jiyoon cooed. “Darling. Angel. Pretty. You okay?”
Zia blinked.
Slowly.
Like she hadn’t even realized they were talking. She let out a dreamy sigh. “I think he cracked his knuckles before he hit him.”
Claire fell over laughing.
“Okay no, no, we are not glossing over this,” Seori grinned. “This is the scariest man in the world, and you’re in here fantasizing about his punching form?”
“I mean…” Zia started softly with a sheepish look.
“No. No I mean,” Da-eun cut in. “You’ve been bitten by the broody vampire bug and there’s no coming back.”
“I’m serious,” Seori said, clutching her stomach from laughing. “She used to be the quiet one. The mysterious one. And now she’s just..!”
“Boneless,” Kija said dryly. “Like a ragdoll with a crush.”
“I do not have a crush,” Zia mumbled into her hand. She was in love.
“Oh sweetie,” Jiyoon grinned. “You're soulmates. It's not a crush. You’re doomed.”
Sora giggled quietly beside her, shadows dancing in her hands. “It’s cute.”
“It’s terrifying,” Claire said. “I’ve seen her kill a man with a whisper. Now she’s all...” she made a dramatic sigh, flopping onto Zia’s lap. “Oh Jungwon-!”
“Shut up,” Zia whined, gently pushing Claire off, but her cheeks were blazing pink now.
The teasing didn’t stop. Not even close.
Seori clapped her hands. “We should make shirts.”
Jiyoon leaned over. “One that says Mrs. I’d Let Him Rip Someone’s Spine Out For Me.”
“I wouldn't!” Zia cried.
“Baby girl, he literally almost did five minutes ago,” Da-eun said.
“And you smiled,” Kija deadpanned. “You didn’t even flinch. Poor Jay.”
Sora tapped her chin. “I think I saw you sigh dreamily.”
Zia threw her head back with a groan, pillow over her face. “I hate all of you.”
Claire leaned over, tugging the pillow down just enough to boop her nose. “No you don’t.”
And she didn’t.
They were loud. They were chaotic. They were merciless when it came to teasing. But they were hers.
And they had accepted her without question, loved her deeply, teased her relentlessly and Zia realized, maybe for the first time in years, that this was what having people felt like.
Warmth bloomed in her chest.
Even if it came with being clowned 24/7.
Still.
She peeked through the viewing shimmer again. And there he was.
Jungwon, standing in the ballroom again, shirt a little wrinkled, jaw tight, looking toward the crowd as if searching for something.
Her.
Always her.
And her lips lifted into the softest, most secret smile the girls had ever seen.
They all groaned.
“She’s so in it,” Seori said.
“She’s doomed,” Claire confirmed.
But Zia just whispered, too quiet for any of them.
“…Mine.”
Zia had vanished.
One moment she was sandwiched between Seori and Da-eun, a blush painted across her cheeks from relentless teasing.
The next, she was gone.
Not a single girl noticed until Sora blinked and whispered, “Where’d she go?”
But they didn’t need to look far.
Because in the center of the ballroom, right beneath the enchanted chandelier that shimmered with suspended starlight, there she was.
In the arms of Jungwon who had reached for her the second she blinked into existence.
He didn’t hesitate.
His arms wrapped around her with the certainty of a man who had waited years for this moment, and his hands found their place at her waist like they’d belonged there all his life.
She didn't speak.
Neither did he.
Because the music was soft, a slow violin overture drifting through the glowing party, and couples swayed around them, none daring to interrupt the bubble that formed around them like an invisible shield.
Zia barely had time to register the way his hand pressed gently at the small of her back before he was moving, leading her in a dance they had never rehearsed, never planned.
But it was flawless.
Their steps aligned as if their hearts beat to the same rhythm. Their foreheads nearly touched. And for the first time in a long time, Zia didn’t feel invisible.
She felt seen.
No glamour. No tricks. Just her. Just them.
She looked up, and his eyes were already waiting for her. Warm, stormy, lit with something ancient and deep.
Her breath caught.
And just like that, he leaned in, and pressed a soft, sweet kiss to her lips.
Not rushed. Not demanding.
Just a promise.
When he pulled back, he whispered against her skin, “You’re the only thing I ever asked the gods for.”
She burned a blush exploding from her neck to her ears.
“Shut up,” she whispered, panicked and flustered, as she shoved her forehead gently into his shoulder.
He laughed. Really laughed.
A sound made of dimples and freedom.
And then that traitor leaned down again, nuzzling her neck, the bridge of his nose brushing that one place that made her knees weak.
Her entire body lit up.
Literally.
Her hands, where they touched his chest and shoulder, glowed softly with white light, pure energy humming against his skin like her magic wanted to devour him and shield him at once.
He felt it. He pulled back just enough to see the glow and smirked.
Dimples sinking deeper. Not smug, not teasing. Just knowing.
“Not yet,” he murmured, fingers brushing her hip, anchoring her to him.
Her throat tightened.
Gods. He knew.
But still, she danced.
Let herself sway with him as the room disappeared and the stars kept spinning. If she avoided his gaze now and then…
Well.
That was his fault. Because looking into his eyes meant giving in completely.
And tonight?
She wanted to hold onto this moment a little longer. Before everything changed.
So she leaned her head into the curve of his neck, her hands still glowing, her heart still flying, and danced with the boy who never needed to say the word mine for her to know.
She already was.
⊱⋆⊰
The spring breeze blew warm through the flower yard, rustling through the riot of color where the girls had laid their enchanted picnic. Blankets floated above the grass, petals followed them like butterflies, and soft giggles punctuated the laughter drifting up from the hill.
From their vantage point at the edge of the training field, the boys watched.
Jay was mid eye roll as Seori threw grapes at his head from across the clearing.
Ni-ki was hovering behind the guys, arms crossed like he wasn’t just waiting to be called over.
Sunghoon had his head tilted lazily, but his eyes stayed trained on Kija shamelessly.
Jake, with a lopsided grin, was watching Claire pour something fizzy into her drink.
And Jungwon…Jungwon hadn’t blinked in nearly thirty seconds.
Because Zia his girl was kneeling gracefully in the center of the girls, brushing hair out of Sora’s face as she listened to Seori ramble about sunlight bombs.
And then, from nowhere…
A male vampire stepped into view.
Low tier. Practically irrelevant. The scent of stale blood and cheap cologne hit first.
He sauntered in like he belonged.
And the second he opened his mouth, the boys all paused.
"Hey," the vampire said casually, "I’ve seen you around. You’reZia, right?" He smiled like it was worth something. "You wanna go out sometime? Just us two-"
The world stopped turning.
It was Sunoo who let out a high-pitched choke. “Did this this twig just ask Zia out?”
Jake blinked, face caught somewhere between awe and sympathy. “Oh, no…”
“Dumb,” Ni-ki muttered.
“Brave,” Jay corrected, lifting a hand to shield the sun. “But mostly dumb.”
Sunghoon smirked, "This should be good."
It was Heeseung who noticed the shift. Jungwon’s jaw was tight, his hands balled into fists so tightly the veins bulged across his knuckles. His expression was blank terrifyingly so.
He stood without a word.
Gone.
Just like that.
“Damn,” Heeseung murmured, almost fond. “Nice to know our fearless leader isn’t so calm when it comes to his mate.”
No one spoke as Jungwon stormed across the yard.
It was silent eerily so.
The girls fell still, the vampire still smirking.
But ZIa? Zia didn’t even look surprised. Her lips were parted like she was about to say something, maybe to decline politely.
She didn’t get the chance.
Because the second the low tier male looked up. Shadow fell over him. And by the time his eyes met Jungwon’s...
It was too late.
Jungwon’s hand slammed into his chest with precision, tearing straight through bone like wet paper. The vampire didn’t even scream just gasped once as his heart was pulled out, blackened and steaming in the midday light.
The girls froze.
The boys jaws dropped.
And then Jungwon’s boot crushed it into the flowerbed without a second thought.
“Mine,” was all he snarled before reaching out. In a blur of wind and shadows, he pulled Zia into his arms, and they were gone.
Not a flicker of glamour left behind.
Just twelve stunned immortals blinking at the spot they vanished from.
“…Well,” Jay exhaled, hands on his hips. “Guess he wasn’t in the mood for small talk.”
“He crushed his heart,” Jake muttered, still frozen.
“With his foot,” Sunghoon added smirking.
Da-eun blinked. “That’s hot.”
“Can we not normalize murder, please,” Jiyoon deadpanned, but she didn’t look too upset.
Kija just looked impressed. “It’s about time someone did that.”
Sora’s eyes were wide, and Seori was already trying to scoop the remaining ashes of the heart into a glowing bottle “for spell stuff.”
Claire snorted and leaned into Jake. “Foxes would never let that happen when they have mates. That guy had a death wish. If Jungwon hadn't showed up, Zia would have killed him.”
“Is it wrong I wanna cheer?” Sunoo asked.
“No,” Ni-ki said. “Not at all.”
Heeseung smiled lazily, rubbing the back of his neck. “Damn. Our baby Jungwon’s really growing up.”
They stood there a moment longer.
Watching the wind ruffle the flowers where the heart had been.
None of them said it aloud but every single one of them thought it:
Don’t mess with a vampire’s moonlight.
⊱⋆⊰
As soon as her feet touched the floor, Zia knew exactly where she was.
Her room. Still humming with protective enchantments. Still scented like foxfire and moonmilk. Still home.
But Jungwon’s presence made it feel different.
He didn’t say a word.
He was pacing.
Sharp, contained, furious energy rolled off him in waves his jaw clenched, his nostrils flared, fangs still slightly extended even as he stalked across the floor like a storm on legs.
His hands those broad, scarred hands were now under the cold water of her sink. She watched as pink tinted water swirled down the drain, stained by heart blood and fury.
He wasn’t sorry. Not for what he did. He was just trying to breathe.
She’d never seen him like this. Not since before.
Before the moment their eyes met.
Before the bond.
Before the peace.
And she wasn’t afraid.
No ZIa was thrilled.
She felt her magic rise like a tide, molten and deliberate, curling from her fingertips like smoke.
She lifted her hand slowly, and with a whisper of her power, wrapped it around him.
Jungwon froze.
His shoulders locked. His breath stilled.
And she moved.
She began to circle him, bare feet soundless against the rug, her power dancing along his spine, her golden eyes glinting with challenge. Like a fox circling a lion. Like something ancient and daring, the corners of her lips lifting with a hint of smugness.
She let her fingertips ghost near him, never quite touching.
“I liked it,” she said softly, eyes daring him to react.
She felt the tremble in the air before she heard it.
A growl. Low and deep and dangerous, vibrating the floor, rattling her bones.
Her breath caught.
That growl didn’t threaten her.
It claimed her.
She let her magic go, released him with a flick of her wristand then her knees hit the floor.
It wasn’t fear. It wasn’t weakness.
It was instinct. A surrender not of will, but of soul.
Because in that sound she heard him.
Her mate.
Her King.
She tilted her head back slowly, lips parted, gaze soft but searing.
And then he was there.
On the floor behind her in a blur of motion, knees brushing hers, breathing her in.
His long fingers slid into her hair, brushing it over one shoulder. He pressed his chest to her back, reverent, grounding her in his presence.
Then his hand.
The one she loved, the one she watched so many nights clench and curl in silence it closed around her throat.
Not hard enough to hurt. But enough to make her gasp.
Her lips parted, her eyes went glossy, her heart thundered against her ribs.
She could feel every inch of him, his control, his possession, the tether between them humming.
“Mine,” he whispered, breath hot against her ear.
His lips ghosted along her neck, tongue tasting the magic beneath her skin.
And then his teeth scraped.
Slow. Intentional. And then he bit.
Pain bloomed. Then pleasure crashed in like waves against the shore.
Zia’s head fell back onto his shoulder, lips parted in a breathless moan. Her hands found his knees behind her, gripping, grounding.
She felt it felt the bond lock in. A thread pulled taut, bright as starlight.
Jungwon’s hand stayed on her throat as he drank, slow and measured, the pad of his thumb stroking her jawline with something close to devotion.
It was everything.
Not sex. Not heat. But intimacy so deep it threatened to undo her.
When he pulled back at last, the blood trickling down her neck cooled in the air, and he licked it away with soft, gentle care.
Her body slumped against his chest. His arms wrapped around her, one still gloved in her magic.
They didn’t speak.
There was no need.
The mark said everything.
She was his. He was hers. And their eternity had just begun.
His hands were still trembling.
From rage. From relief. From her.
Zia.
His Queen. His breath. His beginning and end.
Jungwon stared down at her knees still folded beneath her, lips swollen from the way she’d bitten them earlier, neck bearing his mark. His. His.
And now she looked up at him…
With trust. With hunger. With a kind of love that struck the air from his lungs.
There was a wildness in her gaze. A question. A promise.
She wanted to mark him too. To return what he’d given. To make him hers in body and soul.
And he would let her.
But not yet.
Not until she knew what she did to him.
Not until he could show her.
He reached down slowly, fingers brushing her cheek as if she were something holy. And in his eyes, she was.
He whispered her name like a prayer.
Then his lips were on hers soft, then firm, then desperate, consuming every sound she made, tasting the remnants of her magic, of her power, of her submission.
And she tasted like forever.
They moved together, bodies tangled on the floor of her dorm like they belonged nowhere else. His chest pressed to hers, hands braced on either side of her head, every inch of him trembling with restraint.
He kissed her like he was drowning and she was the air. Like he needed her to survive. His tongue swept into her mouth, deep and languid, until she moaned into him and fisted the collar of his shirt.
Her body arched beneath his.
Her heart beat in sync with his.
He whispered, “Let me love you.”
And she did.
Their breaths mingled, heavy and soft as he pressed her gently into the floor, then against the wall, where her legs curled around his waist and her head fell back with a gasp.
Jungwon was a storm fierce and unrelenting.
But around her, he was controlled destruction. Fire without burn. Thunder without fear.
He traced every inch of her with love and possession, fingers, lips, teeth. His mouth never stopped whispering praise against her skin, kissing her pulse points, licking the blood she drew from her lip when she bit it too hard, groaning into her mouth when he tasted it.
“My moonlight,” he panted against her throat, “My breath.”
By the time he carried her to the bed, cradled her like she was spun from stars, neither of them spoke.
There were no words for this.
Zia moved above him slowly, achingly slow as if they had all the time in the world. Her palms pressed flat against his chest, feeling every stutter of his heart, every deep breath he took to stay tethered to the moment.
His hands worshipped her. Traced the lines of her thighs. Gripped her hips with reverence and need.
And when she leaned down and kissed him sweet, slow, devastatingly soft. Jungwon felt everything inside him unravel.
He loved her with everything he had.
Every touch was a vow.
Every kiss, a promise.
Every whispered mine, a thread in the eternity they’d begun to weave.
And when it was over, when the world stilled and their hearts found silence, he pulled her against him.
Sweat kissed skin. Tangled limbs. Lips pressed to her temple.
His voice was low, husky, full of awe.
“Now,” he said, tilting his neck slightly, the pulse beneath his skin beckoning. “Mark me, Zia. I’ve waited my whole life to belong to you.”
The moonlight had long since disappeared behind a curtain of stars, but their room still glowed soft and golden, as if the universe itself had taken pause to witness what was coming.
They were tangled together in breath and skin and heartbeat, but not quite whole.
Not yet.
Jungwon lay still beneath her, his chest rising in steady rhythm, his hands curled softly at her waist. There was no fear in his eyes, no hesitation only devotion, only peace.
And her.
ZIa leaned forward with an unbearable tenderness, her fingers gliding up his throat, tracing the curve of his jaw before she kissed the skin where his pulse thrummed steadily beneath.
She didn’t speak much. She never needed to.
But now she whispered.
Not for his ears, but for his soul.
Words ancient, carried from the corners of forgotten realms. A vow in the language of her blood, her fox, her power. A promise only he would ever hear.
The air shimmered.
Then she began to glow.
Her entire body lit up in a radiant white, the energy rippling off of her like a heatwave. Her hair floated around her like silk threads in water, and her fox form, her true self unfolded behind her. Nine long, ghostly tails whipped softly through the light, flickering with power, with magic, with destiny.
Jungwon didn’t flinch. Didn’t blink.
He just looked at her the way he always did.
Like she was the stillness between thunderclaps.
Zia bowed her head slowly, her fangs descending, not the cruel kind, but the kind meant only for him. Her lips pressed one last kiss to his neck, over the place that would soon bear her claim.
She bit. Her fangs slid in with grace, sharp and swift, and for a heartbeat, they weren’t two beings but one.
The white glow consumed the room like lightning frozen in time.
And on Jungwon’s chest, directly over his heart, a matching mark bloomed delicate lines of silver and pale gold, forming the shape of a crescent moon laced with soft foxfire flame.
Her flame.
Her soul.
Her name etched into his being for eternity.
Silence.
The kind they both loved.
The kind that said everything.
There were no gasps. No cries. Just the rise and fall of joined breath. Her lips still on his neck. His hand resting over the mark on his chest like it had always been there.
And in the quiet, something sacred settled between them.
Not just a bond.
But a beginning.
Forever had never felt so still. So right.
⊱⋆⊰
The auditorium was pitch black.
Seven girls sat scattered across the first few rows, not by planning but by fate, each of them clutching a handwritten note with their name etched in a familiar script. They’d all received it in their rooms with no explanation, no location other than "Auditorium. 8PM. Don’t be late." And a tiny doodle of a heart.
A trap, clearly. One lined in ink and affection.
Jiyoon squinted toward the stage. “Okay, but what if we’re getting dumped? Like...ceremoniously?”
“I’ll hex someone,” Claire muttered under her breath, arms crossed.
“Maybe they’re doing some weird vampire court thing,” Seori whispered, flipping her long hair. “Like sentencing us to eternal matehood.”
“Girl, we’ve been sentenced,” Kija deadpanned. “I still want to know why my man has been acting all smug for the past three days.”
“You think that’s smug?” Zia asked softly, giggling. “Jungwon winked at me twice before slipping the note under my tea cup. I thought I was about to get proposed to.”
All of them burst into low laughter, shoulders brushing, the kind of light hearted warmth that came from sisterhood and shared confusion.
The lights exploded on stage.
A row of pristine white spotlights blinked to life, blinding for just a second.
And there they were.
The Seven.
Standing in full formation like some kind of idol group making their debut. All of them were dressed to kill (literally), dressed in sleek black with subtle accents of silver and moonlight-blue. There were mics. There were in-ears. There was choreography.
And every single vampire was smirking.
The music started low and smooth. A beat. A hum. And then Jungwon started looking right at Zia.
Mmm, yeah
You got me moonstruck
Zia’s mouth dropped open. Claire gasped. Sora’s eyes glowed. Kija sat forward like she’d been slapped.
This moment darkness
Let me take you to paradise...
“Oh my goddess,” Jiyoon whispered. “Heeseung can SING?”
I'm so intoxicated, getting more and more into you, baby
Won't you let me in? Our secret...
Claire slapped Da-eun’s leg. “Did you know about this?”
Da-eun was too busy with her jaw on the floor to answer.
And then the pre chorus hit and the choreography kicked in, sharp, clean, and sexy as hell. Ni-ki spun out from center like he’d trained for this all his life, and Sunghoon followed with a smirk so sinful even Kija made a noise.
Just the two of us
Getting deeply moonstruck
Oh, you make me go
Crazy over you, you, baby...
By now the girls were frozen, wide eyed and stunned, watching their mates glide across the stage like some supernatural boy band conjured from their daydreams.
Zia wasn’t even breathing. Jungwon was dancing. Singing. Smiling.
She was gone.
When the final line rang out, the stage lights dimmed, the music faded, and the seven vampires stood center stage panting lightly, waiting, smug, satisfied, and proud.
Chaos.
Sora disappeared in a blink of shadow and was suddenly tackling Sunoo in a hug, kissing the corner of his mouth and giggling wildly.
Da-eun, punched Ni-ki in the arm before jumping into his arms and planting a big one.
Seori ran up and jumped on Jay, wrapping her legs around him as she kissed him like she was making up for all the years she didn't know he could sing.
Jiyoon strode up to Heeseung and tugged him down by the collar, claiming his lips with a low, “You’ve got two minutes to explain why I didn’t know this sooner.”
Claire kissed Jake so hard he dropped the mic.
Zia floated. She didn’t walk. Didn’t rush. She just appeared in front of Jungwon, her hands cupping his jaw as she pressed a long, warm kiss to his lips silent and soft, but powerful.
And behind them, Kija pulled away from Sunghoon’s lips with a raised brow.
“You’re getting the silent treatment for a week,” she whispered sharply, though her eyes were glassy. “For not telling me you could sing like that.”
“But-”
“I said a week.” And just like that, she spun on her heel and left the stage.
“Yeah,” Claire shouted back, arms still tangled around Jake. “You guys are in so much trouble.”
“Liars,” Jiyoon added.
“Criminal,” Seori grinned over her shoulder.
"We follow our mother anywhere," Sora cackled.
The girls left.
Just walked off the stage together like they hadn’t just been serenaded into oblivion. And in the middle of the stage, seven vampires stood absolutely bewildered.
“What the hell just happened?” Jake muttered.
“They kissed us and then...abandoned us,” Sunoo blinked.
"I think I saw God," Jay cursed. Sunghoon wasn't even thinking anymore, just staring blankly at the stage floor.
Ni-ki groaned. “We danced! We sang! What more do they want?!”
Heeseung laughed under his breath, already planning their next show.
Jungwon just smiled.
He still tasted her on his lips. And now he was moonstruck too.
Oh yeah, they’d be singing a lot more often now.
⊱⋆⊰
The week after the boys’ surprise performance had been hell.
Not training hell. Not finals week hell. Not even mid battle against a rival coven hell.
This was mate silence hell.
And the seven most powerful vampires on campus were crumbling.
Heeseung was lying dramatically across the common room couch, groaning with his arm flung over his face like a man on the brink of death. “She didn’t even look at me today,” he whispered like it was his final confession. “Jiyoon made eye contact with Claire but not me. Am I even real anymore?”
“She patted my head,” Jake offered bitterly, curled up in a corner like a sad golden retriever. “She patted. My head. Like I’m a child. I was about to drop to my knees and beg.”
“I did beg,” Jay muttered from the floor, where he was face-down in pure defeat. “Seori giggled. Then walked away.”
“Sunoo,” Ni-ki said, “did Sora at least speak to you today?”
Sunoo blinked.
“She handed me a jar of moonberries and said nothing. Which is worse, honestly. I think she’s trying to starve me through emotional withholding.”
Jungwon sat with his arms folded tightly, trying not to look like he was suffering, but the scowl on his face gave it all away.
“I don’t get it,” Ni-ki mumbled, shaking his head. “We sang. We danced. I nearly sprained something doing that double spin lift and for what? Silence?”
Sunghoon, stoic as ever, sighed. “Kija slammed the door on me after throwing a rose at my head.”
“She what?” Jake gasped.
“She said she was moved. Then called me a bastard. Then threw the rose. It hit me in the eye.”
And still nothing. No words. No cuddles. No forehead kisses. No heart melting sighs or shared smirks across rooms.
The girls weren’t mad. Not really. But they were women on a mission, and the vampires? They were suffering for their crimes of secrecy and seductive choreography.
Especially Jungwon.
His mate his moonlight, his everything Zia, hadn’t even scolded him. She just gave him a single blink after the performance, a soft brush of her magic along his chest, and then vanished.
And now?
Now he saw her every day, floating like starlight beside Claire or tucked beneath a willow with Sora, whispering with Seori and Da-eun while Kija watched the world like a siren queen.
But she hadn’t spoken to him in seven days.
And her eyes those eyes that changed color when she used her power hadn’t met his once.
He missed her voice. Her lip biting. Her fingertips tracing his knuckles. Her warmth when they slept tangled together. Her hand moving his bangs. Her scent curling in his lungs.
He was unraveling.
That’s when it happened.
The dumbest thing Ni-ki has ever said in his 22 years of immortal life, “Guess it’s time for another prank war. Let’s win this year.”
⊱⋆⊰
The words echoed across the hall.
And not a second later every single girl in the room froze.
Claire looked up from her tea like the fox in her had been unleashed.
Sora blinked from the shadows and said slowly, “...did he just say win?”
Da-eun stood up and cracked her knuckles. “Oh it’s on.”
Seori tossed her strawberry lip gloss into her bag like she was preparing for battle. “They want to die. That’s what I’m hearing.”
Kija narrowed her eyes like a sniper. “We’ll bury them.”
Jiyoon stretched her neck lazily, a fang glinting. “What’s our first move?”
And Zia? Sweet, soft spoken, boneless Zia?
She appeared beside Jungwon with the kind of grin that spelled doom. She leaned close, too close, breath brushing his cheek as she whispered in a sing song tone, “We let them think they’ve already won.”
Then she vanished again.
And Jungwon?
Jungwon smiled.
Not just the faint, private smirk he always wore around her.
No. This time it was full dimples. Teeth. A low, delighted chuckle that rumbled deep in his chest.
Because even if the prank war was about to level the school. Even if he’d get caught in fire traps and illusions and sticky honey hexes. Even if the girls planned to obliterate them again like last time.
She spoke to him.
She teased him.
She smiled.
And damn it, that was all he needed.
This was love.
Pure chaos. A little blood. A whole lot of spellwork and sass.
SYNOPSIS. being trapped in a place deep in his subconscious, memories of his past are consuming him little by little and he wasn’t sure what was real anymore, he was alone but for some reason he kept hearing soft whispers in the hallways, the sound of your voice was haunting him and he wasn’t sure he wanted to leave you again.
WARNINGS. Contains heavy topics such as death, no smut but there is tension,momentary psychosis, profound language, suggestive content, the feeling of loneliness (doesn’t last long though), manipulation, deception, horror elements, distorted reality, dream sequences, takes place in level home
NOTES. After months of sitting on the idea of doing one of these I was finally inspired to do one, of you haven’t already please read don’t look back by @gyuuberryy and slide into me by @jaysbaefie they’re both two amazing works and it’s really making we want more of the backrooms concepts. Special thank you to @heesmiles for making this beautiful header (rain is literally goated at this) @k-films
The creak of old rusted swingsets and the whistling of a dusty old spiral slide as it made contact with skin. The howling of wind across your ears as you dashed home. A race with time, all to make sure you were home before that first street lamp flickered to life with a soft hum. The rustle of leaves dancing against the clouds in the wind, it was all starting to become just a vague memory. A blur of past and present that Jay couldn’t seem to differentiate from his future. To him the days of staring past his cracked windowsill watching you run around in the rain felt like yesterday, but those years were far past gone and now you were gone too.
The sunlight had started to fall just enough to lick the horizon and the soft humming of the street lamps were a tell all sign that it was reaching that awkward time of the day where it wasn’t quite nightfall but also no longer the afternoon. Jay had finally found his way back into his old family home, having made the decision to head home for the night while his remaining family all went out for dinner with yours. He never understood the tradition of eating out or having gatherings once a funeral had passed, “the mourning of one life lost and celebration of another starting” that was what his mother had told him but he thought it was complete and utter bullshit.
The one person that had known him better than anyone, had died, and they were out smiling and stuffing their faces as if he hadn't just buried his best friend six feet beneath the soil. He wondered if death was lonely, to him it seemed like a cold and lonesome concept. To be surrounded by so many people in life yet when we breathed our final breath it was no one but us that left this spiritual plane for another. Not two heartbeats aligned that were meant to stop when the other beat one last time,it was just your own.
A sigh spills past his lips as he places his keys on the doorside table, the clank of metal against ceramic rang throughout the quiet hall that was usually full of so much life. But it wasn’t today, it was eerily quiet? So much so that you could hear a pin drop or the wind whistling and tapping against the old windows. Jay hated the silence because it gave him too much time to think, made it easier for invasive thoughts to creep into the forests of his mind like they were meant to be there. All the roots of his problems stretching through every nerve of his brain line infinite trees stretching out towards the sun, like they were waiting to be free and destroy him in the process.
He didn’t bother brushing his teeth or showering,just slipped in the bed. He couldn’t bring himself to care about his hygiene when the last thing that kept him holding onto this life has now gone. Slipped through his fingertips like grains of sand falling past your fingers on a hot beach. His light had died and he couldn’t keep pretending you weren’t the one thing that made his endless days seem worth living. Days of sitting in a cubicle and typing away his soul, days that seemed to drag on into late nights of stale cups of coffee and staring out the office window to find any sort of comfort in his work. What were they for? You weren’t here, he had no life outside of his job and even that was starting to grow old.
His eyes stuttered shut, like the weight of everything had finally been pressing down on him forcing him to sleep, it wasn’t like he had much else to do other than that and mourn. For a while he just lay there listening to the faint sounds of the wind tapping against the window, tossing and turning in bed until he came to grips with the fact that it was almost impossible to fall asleep right now. His eyes flutter open and he huffs out an annoyed sigh, peeking over at the clock at bedside that now reads 3:30.
“Was it always this late..?” He mumbles to himself, throwing his legs out from his bed, feet dragging across the floor as he glances out the window. The sky that was usually swimming with stars was dusted orange and grey, the absence of clouds and stars made him raise an eyebrow. What he found even more confusing was the differing factors of his neighborhood, houses aligned in perfect synchronicity not an inch of grass out of place. It was all perfect, no left over puddles or mudded footprints left by the rain. It was as if time had stopped on some alternate plane that looked just as he had, but more organized, more unnerving.
Then he heard it, the sound of the old floor creaking as if someone had been tiptoeing down the hallways.
“mom?” His feet moved before he could even process what his eyes had just seen, he figured maybe he just hadn’t had enough sleep, maybe he was still tired, still mourning.
No response other than silence, the kind of silence that swallowed your voice whole and completely devoured it in a way that was almost unsettling. As he walked down the halflit hallways there was a sliver of light coming in from the front window. Other than that shadows cascaded against every wall or doorframe as he followed the familiar path, the light patter of footsteps against hardwood being the only sound to creep through the silent home. Every floorboard creaked and oozed with age, a sound so familiar to his ears that it oozed with memories of the life the home once lived.
Memories of running through the halls with you, his mother yelling for the two of you to slow down before you'd gotten hurt. Of staying up late nights in the garage with you sat on the dusty tattered leather couch watching him jot down lyrics in his old notebook that has now been far past full. This place was not only his home but, it was your and his playground once. The last true memory he’d had of you was wiping tears from your face after you’d found out he’d been going away for school, that was the last time he saw you face to face. After that it had only been phone calls, FaceTimes and texts until even those had fallen to just memory.
When you stopped calling he assumed you’d been busy, days turned into weeks and eventually he got the call that would force him to come running back home hoping the news wasn’t true. You’d been missing for a week before they found you, no longer breathing, no signs of struggle or panic. It was like you’d died in a peaceful state, and no harm had come to you, despite how long you’d gone missing that would suggest capture.
Jay blamed himself of course, if he had still been with you—- if he had never left your side then maybe you’d still be here? Maybe if he had admitted to himself long ago that he had fallen in love with his best friend instead of hiding it, instead of moving miles away. You would be here with him in his arms.
A sigh spills from his lips as he steps into the empty living room, no sign of his family having been there. Actually there was no sign of anyone having been there at all. It was perfectly clean and pristine like no one had lived there to begin with. The air was still, and the faint smell of window cleaner and floor polish clung to the air as if the place had been freshly primpt. It was like a silent solitude lost to time, and it should have felt normal to him but life had never been this still. It was discerningly quiet.
Then his eyes shot to the clock at the furthest wall ‘3:30’— the time hadn’t budged at all yet he could still hear the faint ticking. It was like time itself had no meaning here, wherever here was..but he knew it couldn’t have been home. Maybe he was still asleep, just lucid dreaming and that would explain why it felt almost surreal..so familiar?
As he wrecked his brain to make sense of it all the silence was interrupted by a slither of whispers through his ears like a snake slipping through grass in search of its prey. Like they were meant to reach his ears only, like hauntings of a ghost whose voice fell soft to the ears of those it haunted.
“Is someone here?” No response, just the silence that crept through the halls moment prior to hearing the whispers. It was like whoever it was or ‘whatever’ it was, wanted to guide him ‘more like lure him’ to a place where he couldn’t just feel the comfort of home.
“This is ridiculous…whatever this is i’ll wake up.” He sighs, turning on his heels and making a beeline for his bedroom. He would simply just return to sleep, maybe then he’d wake up faster— maybe then that sliver of unease that crept into the lower pits of his stomach would calm.
Then he saw it, so quick that if he blinked he’d miss it but from the corner of his eye he’d seen it. A figure rushed past the window as if they wanted to be seen by him, but they’d have to make it seem otherwise. It was someone he’d seen before, someone that was now lost and confined to only his memory because in the real world they were gone.
His eyes widened and his breath caught in his throat, he didn’t think before his feet moved they just did. Leading him to rush to the door and run outside to the side of the home he’d just seen them walk past. When he reached the window there was no sign of anyone having been there— not a dip in the grass or lingering smell of that perfume you’d always worn that he could smell from miles away.
It was like they’d disappeared into thin air— well not thin, the air outside contrasted to the air inside, it felt wet and humid, almost slimelike. Like it forced anyone outside to move to its pace, slow but panicked. It was like the moment before rain began to fall and pelt your skin, yet the rain never fell no matter how long he stood there.
A chuckle spills past his lips and he pinches the bridge of his nose between his thumb and index fingers. “Okay you’re losing it Jay.” He was trying his best to convince himself that none of it was real, this was all some twisted distorted dream, effects of his emotions prior to falling asleep.
Then a faint sound could be heard coming from within the walls of the house—- a warning alert. One you’d usually hear on your phone during extreme weather events or amber alerts. He trudged back inside, eyes scanning the room for the root of the sound until his eyes landed on the couchside table where a phone lit to life.
As he drew closer and took it into his hands the screen lit with an alert. “Message unsuccessful. Encountered error 686f6d65. Please see your network distributor for more information.” This should have been his warning, a warning that this place was not a dream but a distant place known to everyone. A place so deep in a person's subconscious that the question would always linger if it was even real.
“Jay.” He nearly jumped out of his skin as he heard it, the whisper of his name beside his ear made him jump back. It was so close, almost too close for comfort yet no one was there— it made goosebumps crawl up his skin and still there.
“Hello?” That was his third mistake..if your name is called here you never respond. He’d already broken the first two rules of this place, getting out of bed which made his presence known, and letting panic and franticness linger in his bones..that was his second mistake— here you must always remain stilled, always keep calm because the flux environment fed on your energy. The world would twist and contort itself to match whatever things you felt in that moment.
This time the room didn’t stay silent, he could hear the faint sound of fingertips tapping against the window, the same window he’d seen a figure nearby moments prior. Again his eyes shifted to the window but this time whatever he had seen before lingered there. It was too dark to make out a face but he was sure that he knew who it was even if their face had gone unseen.
He felt the air ripped from his lungs as he stood staring back at you, every memory shared between the two of you had started flooding back as if his life was flashing before his eyes like a movie scene. He inched closer, he wanted to reach out and touch you, even if it wasn’t real if he was confined to being with you only in this dream it didn’t matter. You were with him again, staring, breathing..lingering. But as he reached out to touch the glass you broke off into a sprint. It was like you wanted him to chase you, to relive those innocent moments of the two of you running in the streets trying to outrun the other or waiting to be captured.
He wasted no time, his legs moved faster than he could even bring himself to think. Breaking off into a sprint he was right behind you, so close yet not close enough to reach out and touch you, when did you get so quick? Eventually the air began to burn his lungs as he fought to keep up with you, trailing you through every twist and turn around the corners of the neighborhood until finally you came to a stop.
While he struggled to calm his racing heart and catch his breath you stood there completely still and unbothered as if the running hadn't knocked all the air from your lungs. For a moment you just stood there staring, letting the stillness of silence consume the both of you and swallow you whole. So much so he was starting to think you’d been talking this whole time and maybe he’d gone deaf but your lips hadn’t moved. Not yet at least.
“Do you remember this place?” Finally you spoke, your voice soft and dreamlike like a song that would lull him to sleep if he hadn’t been already.
As you spoke, every memory of you and him over the last thirteen years had come rushing to the surface, like fireworks on the peak of an explosion, ready to burst at the seams. Memories of you laughing and smiling when he’d drive you around town on his bike ignoring the judgmental gazes you got from neighbors for being too loud. Moments of still silence between the two of you where you’d sit and just keep one another company on the brink of boredom.
“Are you real....is this all, real? well I mean of course it's not real but I’ve heard stories of people’s loved ones visiting them in their sleep when they’ve passed. Saying their final goodbyes to them.” Jay questions, his eyes studying your frame. For a moment something unfamiliar flickered with your gaze, something he chose to ignore which would eventually be the fourth wrong choice made.
“It’s real..” that was all you said in response, no explanation or furthermore details. It was like there was a secret being kept from him, something more that needed to be said about this place but would go unsaid.
“We’d come here every day, remember, the other kids would get mad at how early we’d wake up just to be the first at the merry-go-round.” You chuckle, a hint of a smile on your lips as your fingers waltz across the old metal, the old playground obstacle creaks in its wake as you give it a gentle twist.
“I’d turn you on it for hours, the other girls in the neighborhood were always jealous because I'd only help you and no one else.” He chuckles, inching closer but taking cautious steps as if he knew you’d run off again if he drew too close.
“Remember when you turned me so fast that I threw up on lim yuna?” She laughs, the first time he’d heard your laugh since your last phone call, but something felt forced about it. As if it was the familiarity of her laugh being mimicked by another person. He chalked it up to dreams just making things feel weird, familiar yet foggy. Like a familiar face being found in a heavy fog.
“What happened to you?” Jay finally asks the question that had been lingering on his mind since he found out no one knew a thing about how you’d died. For a moment there was a flicker of annoyance in your gaze before it was replaced with that same smile you’d given him moments ago— if he’d looked away for even a second it would have gone unnoticed by him but it didn’t.
“You should head inside, things start to get..tricky around this time.” The subject change was swift, swift enough to draw confusion from your words and make him forget about the question he’d asked you only seconds ago.
“What? What do you mean?”
“It means you should get back home jay, time is weird here but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist..the longer you stay outside the longer you’ll…forget things.” He was still confused, it wasn’t like he could be harmed here after all he was still so sure he was fast asleep in his bed right now.
“Will I see you again..?” His gaze lingered on you, you who seemed to radiate an heir of calm that almost felt unusual.
“Would you like to see me again?” The question was simple, yet something sinister lingered behind it..it wasn’t the way you looked at him like you’d waited lifetimes to ask that question or the soft tone in your voice that sent chills up his spine when you spoke. It was the unusual feeling of greed and hunger that he could sense between the lines of your words. It sent a chill crawling up his spine until the dip of his back housed goosebumps.
“I don’t want you to go yet, I’m not…I’m not ready to say goodbye to you.” Smart move on his part, not quite a yes but it wasn’t a no either. He hadn’t yet fallen victim to you and your games and that meant for now he would remain safe, but it didn’t mean that you would remain patient. Eventually your facade would break, and he’d realize that this place was not what it seemed to be.
That night he slept and found his dreams warped and distorted into a reality different from the ones he knew. It was like his dreams were speaking to him, warning him that something wasn't quite right, despite the still and calm environment.
He dreamt of wind that whispered and clouds with faces, like the atmosphere itself had been watching and eyeing not only his every move but yours too. It was a memory from long ago of the two of you sat in his backyard, you silently flipping through your history book while he put off his homework in exchange for watching you. Between the two of you you’d always been the more academically driven one while he leaned more towards things like music or extracurricular activities. He’d always teased you about it, how you always had your head in a book or had been the first in your class to turn in your assignment.
You never minded though, you always ignored him or teased him back. Maybe that was what had drawn him to you in the first place. You had always been easy to get along with, never judged him and he never judged you either. He didn’t know when all the signs of friendship had started to contort into something more, but somewhere along the lines he found himself falling in love with you.
“Are you going to keep staring? Or do you actually plan on doing your work?” You chuckle, throwing a crumpled sheet of paper in his direction to pull him from his daydream.
Jay glances over at his mathbook before looking back at you, his brows scrunching together in amusement. “I think I’d rather watch you struggle to find the right page. It’s a lot more entertaining than geometric equations.” He responds with a slight smirk ghosting at the corner of his lips.
“You know studying the class before won’t always save you right?” You respond, carding her index finger in between pages as a makeshift bookmark. You gave him a judgmental look, one that basically said ‘if you keep this up you’re going to fail you know.’
“Don’t worry, I’ll pass just like I always do, then we’ll be free of this hell and move on to hell level two when this is all over. ‘University’.” He reassures, a hint of playfulness in his tone.
“Have you even decided where you want to go?” Your gaze was glued to him, like you anticipated the answer. You and him had often talked about it— going to college after high school, but neither of you had ever said where.
“Wherever you go I'll follow.” He shoots you that same reassuring smile he always had but this time you didn’t smile back not like she did in this actual memory anyway. Something changed, not just in the way the wind blew against the trees in rushed gushes, but the atmosphere shifted entirely. Dark clouds loomed in nice and slow and the shade of blue it had once been warped into a dusty orange color, like the color of rust.
His gaze shifted to the trees and he eyed the way the branches now danced and leaves rattled. And when he looked back to you something was different..you were different. The browns and blacks in your eyes had absorbed one another so It was completely impossible to differentiate your pupil from your iris. It was like staring into a void, something chilling about your gaze that shook him to his core and rattled deep within his bones.
“Then why’d you leave.” Your usual gentle and softpoken tone had gone, something sinister and unpleasant hid beneath your voice like the sound of tv static crackling on an old television.
“What..?” His blood ran cold, this was not how that day had gone. This was not how things had happened.
“Why’d you leave Jay? When you promised that we’d go together. You left me alone. You lied to me.”
“I- I didn’t lie…yn I couldn’t stay.”
“You left me. After you told me you didn’t know where you were going you left like a coward to get away from your family.” He felt his heart shatter into a million pieces. You’d never talked to him like this. You were always sweet, understanding, reassuring.
“Are you really going to leave me again? Really going to go back to the people you ran away from when you have me here?” The wind picked up and rain fell, rain like liquid fire. The kind that branded itself into your skin and boiled beneath the surface.
He woke drenched in sweat, breath that felt like it had been trapped in his throat coming out in rough coughs and chokes. From the corner of his eye he could sense movement and for a short second he caught a glimpse of you standing in the corner. Those same black eyes that bore into him moments ago now staring at him in this reality.
A dream within a dream, or more like two nightmares within one another, that was what he told himself that this was. He eyes the clock. 3:30, the same time it had been the last time he checked, that meant the time hadn’t budged at all. He was starting to wonder if this truly was a dream or if his grief had caused him to slip into some sort of momentary psychosis.
Two days, two days had passed in this distorted universe that seemed like home at first but now he was starting to realize it wasn’t. It was on his second day here that he realized this place was not a dream. When he’d woken to find things exactly as they had been the previous night, everything left untouched as if there had been no sign of life other than himself. He waited for you that entire day, waited for you to return and flash him that sweet smile that always made butterflies flutter in the deepest pits of his stomach. But you never came. The third day was when he started to realize there was something unusual about this place, whatever it was. He noticed the way the air still when he held his breath..how the sky distorted and abstracted whenever he felt uneasy, or queasy or had started to question things.
Like this world itself was alive, reacting to his every emotion. Like the sky itself breathed whenever he was around, otherwise it remained perfectly still when he was confined to the walls of his house. The fourth day was when he realized walking through the neighborhood was like finding the edge of the world. Houses perfectly aligned, not a spot of grass, or twig or leaf out of place. No matter how many times he’d circled the block or found a new route to take he’d always find himself in the same place. The neighborhood market, the playground or back at his home. An ongoing cycle that would drive anyone mad if they realized they were trapped in some sort of pocket dimension.
The fifth day was when the loneliness set in, when he was on the verge of breaking..of slipping through the cracks in the floor and becoming one with the house that was starting to feel more like a prison than a safe haven from whatever it was you’d warned him about.
That was when you showed up again, right when his resolve was going fragile, like a porcelain doll on the verge of shattering.
“Why’d you leave..?” He asked, not even bothering to ask how you’d got inside when he always kept the door locked.
“I needed you to see..”
“What is this place..? If it's not a dream.. then are you..? Are you actually here with me?” He questions, tired eyes piercing into yours as he waits for your answer with a sharp inhale.
“Home. It’s home. Time doesn't move here, but it still exists. It's like your purgatory…you slipped through the cracks of your world and this one when you fell asleep.”
“H-how.. this doesn’t make any sense, this- maybe I’m going crazy.”
“This place feeds on desperation..on nostalgia. It could sense your pain..your desire to turn back time to when things were more simple. Time before you left for college and it was just me here.” Your gaze lingered on him, not like a friend watching their best friend realize they were in some sort of liminal space. Like a stalker eyeing its prey to know if they’re fully broken down.
“Am I alive..?”
“You are…you’re just in a state of nowhere..no one there can find you or reach you and there is no way out..not unless you yourself can contort the environment and trick it into letting you go home.” There was a glimmer of hope in his eyes upon hearing that word ‘home’. But it angered you, you’d made the place perfect for him and given him everything he needed yet he was still thinking about going back there? To the place where he was mistreated and overworked and still barely afford the cost of living.
“But if you go back, understand that I can’t go with you Jay.” There it was, a flicker of uncertainty in his gaze. Your joker card, the card played that would cause a rift in his thought process. To stay and be with you or to go back home where his family was probably worried.
“You could stay here a while…before you make the decision you want to go back..you can stay here with me. I can show you how to reach places you haven’t. Places that only seem to appear for me.” He didn’t question your words, didn’t think to question why signs and buildings only seem to appear when you’re in the wake of their paths. He didn’t question how fruit trees and flowers bloomed beneath your feet whenever the two of you were outside roaming empty streets at night. Most of all he didn’t question the way your gaze would sometimes shift to something almost sinister— for just a second, but it was still recognizable.
“You know you never answered my question?” He says, fingers tracing circles over your legs as the two of you sat in an old treehouse that had eventually appeared on what he assumed was day ten of him being here.
“Question?” You turn to face him, curiosity kissing the tip of your brain as his gaze lingered on your face.
“What happened to you..how are you here?” Again you went quiet, he was still curious too curious even after you’d explained it all to him— everything except that of course.
“I fell asleep too.” A swift lie told, nothing too momentous, yet something reliable enough to not cause suspicion, but the questions didn’t stop there.
“Then how did they find you there? I watched…I watched them bury you, how is it possible that you can be both here and there?” The air that was once still started to move with the wind, the sound of faint whistling could be heard as wind fought wind.
For a small second the smile on your face fell and a sliver of loss control flickered in your gaze. Your facade had started to falter but only for a split second, not long enough to go noticed by him.
“I don’t know. This place, this place has no rules. It’s quite- .” There was a slight pause before you finished your sentence, venom laced in your tone as the last word spilled from your lips ‘tricky’
Jay didn’t think twice about it, after all you’d told him on the first night that things were weird here.
“What do you do for fun?”
“Mm anything I want, anything I think of this place provides. It moves at my pace..my will” he should have taken that as a sign, but he didn’t.
Eventually Jay had started forgetting things about the outside world, the longer he stayed with you that place he was now in was starting to consume him. He had forgotten what it was like to stare at the sun, what rain felt like against his skin or what it was like to watch the clouds glide across the sky. His family's faces were nothing other than a blur of abstraction, distinct features all meshed and contorted into a distorted mosaic.
You completely consumed him from the moment he laid himself to rest to the second his eyes fluttered open to start his day. Details of you were all he could remember or think about, the way you smiled at him or laughed at things he said, the faint smell of your perfumes— fresh bloomed daisies and cherry blossoms. The way your hair fell perfectly over your shoulders covering parts of your neck that he wished he was brave enough to taint.
He was starting to realize these days that he was turning into a version of himself he’d never been before this place. It was like a primal hunger that had always been buried deep within him was now fighting to the surface. He realized in the way his gaze lingered on your lips longer than they should, how his skin burned in the wake of your touch or how sometimes he had to fight back the urge to lean in and kiss you when your gaze stayed on him a little longer than usual.
The lines between friends and something more intimate were starting to blur— the longer he held your hand, or even the innocent tracing of circles on your arm led to him tracing lines down your waists and thighs. Or how his fingers sometimes lingered a little too close to your backside, but you never seemed to stop him. It was like you yourself were waiting for him to give in and cross that line.
Today was no different, the two of you sat in an old diner that had appeared less than five days after you finally answered his lingering question.
“Remember this used to be our spot, before they demolished it and replaced it with that old tire shop.” You flash him a half smile, twirling your finger around your half-drunk milkshake. You were eyeing him as if trying to dissect him in your head. Would this make him stay? Luring him into that false security, a false idol of you— you who felt comfortable..safe.
“We used to come here every week.” He chuckles, a breathy laugh somewhere in between reminiscent and exhaust. “Do you remember when you made Mr. Kim spill coffee all over his laptop. He was fuming. You apologized almost a million times.”
“Oh god don’t remind me it was so embarrassing.” Your expression turns sour, a mock of embarrassment, as you yourself didn’t really feel any emotions not any that mattered at least.
“I missed that a lot when I left for Uni, those moments." His gaze shifts to the table and his lips press into a thin line as he recalls the many days he’d be in his firm wishing you would come knocking on his door to tell him about your day.
“If you stay you don’t have to miss me so much..” you respond, yet his expression wavered, like he was still unsure of the idea.
Eventually he would start noticing how buildings would appear and disappear whenever he was starting to linger on the idea of home too long. Like he was trying to remember what life was like outside of this place, but it would always draw him back with a new arcade, or restaurant or theater.
It was like he was no longer in control of the environment but it would manipulate him into thinking he had control occasionally. Dropping certain things in to draw him back from wanting to leave, to make him stay only to go back to its usually still and calm environment feeling the extent of his emotions.
You would always assure him that it was just his mind playing tricks, that this place would only provide the things deep in his subconscious to provide comfort and stability, but he would eventually come to realize that that was all a lie.
The first time he’d realized something had been off was when he saw the flicker of a house he’d never seen before in the distance, it had been there but in the blink of an eye it had gone. When he asked you about it he didn’t miss the way your smile dropped this time, the way anger and annoyance flared within your gaze before you chuckled and told him it’d just been one of the places tricks. That's when he was starting to question whether or not you were being truthful with him.
Another night he decided not to sleep, that was when he found you creeping around outside, disappearing into the other homes or into backyards as if you’d been searching for something…or maybe someone? He’d asked you about it yet again you brushed it off like he’d just imagined it. Like he didn’t really see the things he saw that night.
“Jay I told you this place gets tricky at a certain time.. if you stay up too long you’ll start to see things you shouldn’t.” Those words stuck with him. “You’ll see things you shouldn’t” you didn’t simply say that he’d see things, you were suggesting without even realizing it that he was seeing things not meant for him to see. Things that normally occurred with you that maybe you just didn’t want him to know of.
That’s when he decided that he would follow you one night. He came to the realization that everything he knew about this place you had been feeding him. And now he wasn’t so sure if everything you said to him had been reliable. He wanted to see for himself that he wasn’t just going crazy, needed to confirm his suspicions. That it wasn’t just this place playing tricks on him and distorting his reality, it was you lying to him. So he started out, until he felt that usual shift in the air that told him it was time for him to rest. He waited near the window, five minutes, ten, twenty, thirty and then eventually he spotted you just as he had the previous night.
There you were creeping through the shadows of the street, face distorted under the halflit streetlamp that flickered in your presence. He slipped out of bed, quickly but carefully, not wanting to alert you that he had been awake. He slipped through shadows and crept behind bushes to keep himself hidden from your sight. Not knowing that you had already known he was there— you wanted him to be.
He watched as you entered one of the empty homes that the two of you had passed many times. Waited for the moment the door shut with the sound of the latch clicking into place. He didn’t follow you inside though, he knew better. Instead he went around, peaking through windows and ducking behind walls when it felt like you were seconds away from catching him. Five minutes had gone by and it was silent, then he heard it— the sound of a voice that wasn’t yours nor his.
“Hello, is someone here?” No answer from you, and he didn’t know if it was worse to have you be silent or have you speak. He feared that if you did talk, if there was a reason to be given he’d get that same rattling feeling he got in his dream. The dream where you weren’t you.
“I- I know you’re there I can hear you breathing.” They stuttered, obvious fear in their tone of voice.
That was when he peeked into the window. When he saw something that was worthy of making one’s skin crawl. The kind of fear that slithered up your spine and stayed there to keep you frozen in place. You stood in the middle of the living room, smiling. Not at him but whoever it was that had been in that house.
“Who- who are you..? What are you? Where am I?” So many questions shot at you at once all which you ignored of course. Then you were out of his line of sight in seconds and the last thing he heard was a blood curdling scream before it all went silent.
His heart thumped against his chest, so hard he was sure he could hear his heartbeat bumping against his eardrums. He tried to stand but his legs had gone weak, like the bones in his body had warped into gelatin. His head thumped like an orchestra of drums beating without cease.
He couldn't do anything, couldn’t run, couldn’t think— hell it had even become hard for him to see, his vision blurred. Teetering in and out as if his eyes couldn’t decide whether or not this was something he needed to see. Then everything went dark, like his body had completely given up.
He woke with a loud gasp, the room still dark and tidy the way it had always been. This time he didn’t bother looking at the clock, he knew there was no point when time had always remained the same. He shot out of bed, down the hallway and out the front door. He knew that last night was not just some dream nor figment of his imagination. He needed you to explain. He wanted to know what this place really was, what you were and why he was really here.
Finally he reached the park, the place he’d usually find you or more often you would find him. He called your name and waited.Once.Twice. No response. So he waited, until seconds turned to minutes and minutes turned to hours. Even as the air shifted, a tell all sign that it was nearing the equivalent of night you still didn't show.
A week. For a week he was left alone. Completely isolated from the real world, and the only person he’d had here that kept him company had disappeared. He was going crazy, on the brink of true insanity trying to piece together everything he had learned and saw here. But none of it was enough, he didn’t know if anything you told him was true enough to take into account. He didn’t even know if any of this was truly real.
He’d spent his days learning every route, new and old. He’d explored every house and every building hoping to find you or any clue as to what this place truly was but there was nothing. Everything was perfect, too perfect, too carbon copied.
3:30, it was like the clock was mocking him now. No matter how much time passed, no matter how many days he counted or marks he carved into his bedroom wall, time remained frozen at 3:30. It was like the last drop of water that overfilled a cup and made it spill over. His last straw. His restlessness had turned into annoyance and his bewilderment had made way for anger.
He was angry, not at this place but at you. You were lying to him all this time and right when he was on the verge of finding the truth you’d vanished into thin air like you never even existed.
He stormed outside, past the houses and markets that flickered into vision like the lights on a pinball machine whenever the ball made contact. The sky had turned a murky gray, clouded with fog, like mirroring the current state of his mind back to him. Its control was slipping, the world itself was contorting and bending at his will, not showing the things it wanted him to see. The facade was cracking, and he had somehow been slipping through those cracks like he was meant to be there. Like this place was his, not yours.
It was like he’d cracked a mirror and found himself slipping through that momentary portal. The world bending and twisting and contorting within itself as if it were mirroring the atmosphere back to itself. Like the kind of place you’d expect to be on the other side of the mirror if you stepped through it like a looking glass. Then he saw it in the distance. That same house you’d convinced him had only been the world playing tricks on him.
He didn’t think, didn’t wait for a sign from the atmosphere that this was something he shouldn’t do. And most of all he didn’t wait to hear your voice like he always did—- your voice that would come drawing him back when he started digging places that he shouldn't have been. He twisted the knob and forced the door open and it opened with a loud creak. The moment he stepped inside he could sense a shift in the air, time didn’t feel so stilled here.
It was your average childhood home, not much could be seen in the darkness of the home as there was no source of light other than the sliver of light that peaked through the windows. Unlike the many other homes in this place, this was the only one that had curtains, as if there was something here meant to be kept secret. Compared to the outside the inside was far bigger, more spacious. It seemed to host infinite rooms and hallways, nothing about it seemed normal.
This place was not calm nor still, it was like the home itself was breathing up his neck, observing to see just where he might go. From what he could see the walls were littered with old vintage paintings, paintings of figures without faces or fruit with eyes, like the things meant to be watching weren’t, but everything else that shouldn’t have been, had been. The floorboards creaked beneath his feet like the place itself was screaming for attention. The more he walked, the more he’d realize how unusually pristine the place truly was.
There was an old furniture smell that lingered in the air, paired with the smell of fresh apples and plastic as if they’d try to monument things to not let its beauty rot or age with time. While the smell shined light on the idea that there was something old and deceptive here it didn’t stop his curiosity to know more. To know what this place was, who made it, why he was there? The sound of creaking floorboards above his head steals his attention from his sight seeing and he eyes the staircase. He waited for the place to be still but it hadn’t. As if whoever whatever was up there wanted him to know.
His fingers grazed the wooden staircase as he stared up into the empty hall that waited for him to enter, waiting to swallow him in his darkness. The floor hissed beneath his feet, as if scorned by the contact of rubber soles on carpet, and the closer he grew the stranger this had become. The pictures weren’t just faceless entities, they were photos of him, photos that had been monumented in old frames or photobooks by his mother. Photos of the two of you that his mom had forced the two of you to take always saying the same things— “these are moments you’ll want to remember when you’re older”.
The more he looked at all of them the more he came to the realization that she was right. When a loved one dies, photos are all you have when your memory turns stale and cold. When you lose them all that is left is that burning memory that scorned you when you realized they’d never come back. You could never relive those moments no matter how hard you tried. No matter how much you wished for them to come back, death was understanding but not kind.
The smile slowly faded from his lips the further he got into the hallways, as things started to get more sinister, there were photos he didn’t even remember taking, like him shaving or brushing his teeth. Photos of him getting into his car before work or sitting at his desk wishing he was back home in bed. There had been photos of every moment in his life up until the night he returned home and placed his keys into the bowl on the doorside table. Whoever was here, whoever this place belonged to had been watching him.
It made a chill creep up his spine and he was starting to wonder if he was lured here. You’d told him that the place fed off nostalgia and memory, that it could feel his longing to go back to a time that was simpler, but maybe it wasn’t him that was longing. Maybe it was you. All this time he had convinced himself that maybe he missed you so much it caused him to slip through the cracks of this new world, but he was now realizing that he was taken here, not of his own free will but by force.
“I told you to stop digging around.” He jumps at the sound of your voice, he hadn’t heard a footstep nor had he smelled your perfume— a usually telling sign that you were nearby.
“Who are you..” he doesn’t look at you, he doesn’t have to know that you’re there.
A smile creeps onto your face, the kind of smile that stitched itself into your memory and made you shiver every time you thought about it. “You know who I am silly.”
“Don’t. Don’t play that game you always play when I’ve seen too much for you to keep lying to me. Who are you..? What are you?”
“Aren’t you an observant one?” You respond through clenched teeth, eyes locked on him who still didn’t even bother looking at you.
“You’re not really her, are you..?” That made you chuckle, all the time you’d spent making this place perfect and identical to the place he knew, for him to get curious and unravel it all.
“Does it matter? Do you really care if I’m actually her or not? You had no problem looking at me the same way you looked at her back home. Like a man in love that could never tell her that.” He didn’t know when you’d gotten so close, he didn’t even hear you move but now you were behind him. Fingers tracing his skin leaving goosebumps in their wake.
“I could be her, you could stay here and do all the things you imagined doing with her, with me.” It was like you were taunting him in the most seductive ways, fingers tracing skin, lips lingering a little too close to his ear, it was making his resolve weaker and weaker.
“What are you?”
“Something beyond your understanding. Me and this place are one. I’ve been here longer than your world has ever existed. I've seen everything…watched everything.” Your gaze shifts to the photos on the wall. “Ive watched you for a long time, watched her. Both of your misery were so— delicious.”
The way you talked about them made his skin crawl, this was all confusing to him, you weren’t the girl that he once knew but you had her face. He didn’t trust you, didn’t want to be lured by your words yet again but it was hard. Before he’d gotten too curious everything had been perfect. He had you back with him and here he knew you wouldn’t slip away but, knowing that if he ever returned home and you wouldn’t be there made him stay up late nights pondering if he really should stay.
You’d lured him into a false safety and even knowing now that you weren’t really her he couldn’t bring himself to walk away from you, no again.
“Are you really going to leave me again Jay?” You ask, any sign of deception or ill intent left from voice, it was just that sweet soft spoken tone that melted in his ears like always. Your arms wrap around him from behind and he could feel his heart thump against his chest. “Don’t go please.”
He stood still, even as you left soft kisses up his back and your fingers traced over his arms, as if you were trying to mark him with every new goosebump that crawled into his skin. He was hesitating and you could feel it. Jay found his thoughts slipping back to the day he left for university.
“She won’t come out of her room right now Jay I’m sorry.” Your mother informed him giving him an apologetic look before shutting the door.
Jay should have just gone home, but he didn’t. He slithered around back and climbed the old oak tree in your backyard just to knock on your bedroom window. He waited and watched as you opened it with tear stained cheeks and an unamused look on your face. Usually when he did this you’d smile or laugh and tell him how crazy he was but there was no sign of that girl today.
“What are you doing here Jay?” Your voice cracked as you spoke, like something soft and fragile breaking for the first time.
“I wanted to see you, to spend time with you before.” There was a brief pause as if he was hesitant to say the words, afraid they’d make things worse. “before my flight tomorrow.”
“I’m not really in the mood Jay, you should go prepare for your flight. I heard they could be tiring.” You respond, eyes looking everywhere but at his face, you don't want to stay crying again.
“Yn you can’t just shut me out, not today please.”
“I’m sorry Jay.” You didn’t wait for him to plead or argue, you simply just closed the window and left him alone.
That day was hell for him, the one person he cared about any more than himself was mad at him and wouldn’t talk to him. It had only been a day, a day he went without you but it drove him crazy not seeing you and unbeknownst to him it was eating away at you too. 3:30, the time on the clock when he woke from his sleep after hearing tapping on the window.
You stood on the other side as if you were waiting for him to come out and when he finally did he chased you from his home all the way to the park until both of you collapsed onto the grass due to loss of breath.
None of you said anything for a while, just laid there in silence waiting for the other to speak. It was like time was completely still with you in that moment. If he could just freeze time and stay there with you a little longer he would.
“I’m sorry for being so selfish.” You finally spoke, breaking your streak of silence. “I was just hurt that you wouldn’t tell me about this until the last minute. You promised to stay, you promised that we would figure it out together but now you’re leaving and I feel like I’m losing a part of me I’ve known since I was a child.” You sigh, pushing yourself up from the grass to look at him.
“I’m sorry too. I should have told you the moment I decided where I was going. I don’t know why I couldn't just tell you.” He sighs, running his fingers through his hair out of frustration with himself.
“I realized that I was being immature. I couldn’t just let you leave without spending time with you, who knows if I’ll ever get to do it again.”
“You will, we’ll always call and FaceTime and I’ll come back home when I can or fly you out.” You smile at his words, of course it wouldn’t be the same as the way you two are usually joined at the hip but it was good to know you wouldn’t be losing him entirely.
“Really? Can’t change your mind now, You’re going to get sick of me calling you?” A lighthearted chuckle spills from your lips as you lay your head on his shoulder.
“I could never get sick of you. In fact I” he almost said it, three words that could change your friendship for better or for worse, but luckily he caught them right before they could spill past his lips. He couldn’t tell you, not now when he would be moving so far away and there'd be a distance between the two of you. “I’m really going to miss you.”
“I know you will.” You respond with a laugh, making him smile.
“You remember what you felt when you left her the first time. Guilt, regret, homesickness. You waited all those years to tell her you loved her and now..now's your chance.” You sweet talked to him. “ Now you can be here with her in all the ways that you wanted to be before finding out the news.”
You slip into the space between him and the wall, fingers lacing within the fabric of his shirt. “One kiss, one kiss is all it takes and you can stay here. This place can be yours, ours”
“Jay.” He was falling apart completely. Every time your sweet voice echoed his name it made him weak to you. The more he thought about his life back home, the more he realized there was all more reason to stay. Would he really want to go back to that life? A life where his family rarely cared about the things he did, his shitty job that barely paid much to live off, a life that would no longer have you.
He didn't think, he allowed his body to think for him. His fingers traced down your sides until they rested on your waist. His other hand ghosting at your neck before it finally settles behind your head and his fingers lace within your hair. You eyed him with a hunger beneath your gaze that he was sure was lingering there even if he couldn’t see it, it always was. He doesn't hesitate, doesn't wait for you to speak again, he simply leans in and lets you lips caress his own. Not missing the way a smile crept onto your face mid kiss.
He felt every problem or thought of the outside world slip away as if you were erasing any memory of it from his brain with a simple kiss. But would it really matter if you did? He belonged here with you now he always had. It was obvious in the way the atmosphere reacted to him, how the sky changed like a mood ring warping its colors in sync with one’s emotions. The way the town would spawn simple things to make him feel better, things that even she didn’t ask it for. You knew from the beginning that he wouldn’t fight it because no matter how hard he tried he could never hide the way he loved you.
ALTERNATE ENDING
“Are you really going to leave me again Jay?” You ask, any sign of deception or ill intent left from voice, it was just that sweet soft spoken tone that melted in his ears like always. Your arms wrap around him from behind and he could feel his heart thump against his chest. “Don’t go please.”
“You’re not her. She can’t come back- no matter how bad I want it. No matter how much I miss her, nothing will bring her back.” He forces your hands off of him before turning to face you.
“You can never be her. No matter how much you pretty yourself up or make this place feel like it did when she was here. I’m not staying, not with you.” Something sinister flickered in your eyes, like your facade had finally snapped.
“You don’t get to go. Not after all the effort I put into this place to make you stay.” There it was, that bonechilling voice like static in your knees or elbows when you’d banged them against something. “You’re going to stay.”
Before you could reach out and touch him he broke off into a sprint. He couldn’t hear your footsteps behind him but he knew you were there, he could sense it. It was ironic, the one he would always chase after or trail behind was now the one chasing after him. The walls screamed and screeched as if they were begging him to stay, like you were forcing the home itself to convince him not to go in your place. But he kept running, even as hallways twisted and shifted in his path to make things far more confusing than they should have been. He ran until he was tired, until the breath in his lungs was starting to feel like fire burning him from the inside out. Until he finally spotted the same door he’d entered in the distance.
He could tell by the motion in the air that you were getting close to him, close enough to that you could almost reach out and touch him but not quite there.
“Don’t you go out that door Jay! Don't leave me again.” Your pleads and screaming fell deaf upon his ears. He kept running until his fingers clasped around the door knob and he forced it open with a new resolve to find a way home. The door swung open with a loud crackle and light shined on the other side as he slipped through and slammed the door shut behind himself.
He found himself standing outside, the sun shining in an ocean blue sky with clouds scattering at the wake of morning. Cars parked in driveways, grass and flowers blooming in scattered placements rather than its previous picture perfect one. The air smelled fresh, not like the stale humidness of where he had just been, it smelled like home, his actual home. He was no longer there with you in that world you thought he’d be desperate to stay. He was home, really home. He had never been so happy in his life to be back in the real world
💙 Genre: Romcom • Time-Travel AU • Fluff • Mystery • Slice of Life
💙 Synopsis: Y/N’s ordinary university life turns upside down when she meets a suspiciously familiar stranger who somehow knows her coffee order, habits, fears—and future. The truth? He’s Lee Heeseung… her husband from ten years ahead. While trying desperately not to spoil their future love story, Future Heeseung only makes things worse by accidentally revealing pieces of their married life, falling for her all over again, and causing absolute chaos across timelines.
💙 WC: 5.8k!
🌷ꫝ Note: This is purely fictional—please don’t link it to real life. Kindly don’t copy or repost. Read and enjoy ♡
Part2 , Part 3
Part1
The rain in Seoul never really fell politely.
It crashed against windows, flooded alleyways, soaked sneakers, and turned the city silver under neon lights.
And right now, it was personally ruining your life.
You stood outside the convenience store near your university dorm, clutching a cup of ramen and glaring at the broken umbrella in your hand like it had betrayed your bloodline.
“Traitor,” you muttered.
“Pretty sure the umbrella didn’t ask to be born.”
You whipped around.
A man stood beside the drink refrigerator under the store awning, tall and broad-shouldered in a black hoodie and cap. His hands were tucked into his pockets casually, but his smile—
His smile looked unfairly familiar.
Soft. Warm. Slightly teasing.
Dangerous.
You narrowed your eyes.
“I know you from somewhere.”
The stranger immediately choked on his iced coffee.
“Oh no.”
“…What?”
“I mean—no, you don’t.”
“That sounded suspicious.”
“No, it didn’t.”
“It absolutely did.”
The man rubbed his face dramatically like he was already exhausted by you, and somehow that annoyed you more.
Then he looked at your broken umbrella again.
“You still buy the cheap ones,” he sighed.
You blinked.
“…How do you know this isn’t my first cheap umbrella?”
His expression froze.
A beat passed.
Then another.
“…Lucky guess.”
Weird.
Very weird.
You should’ve walked away right there.
Instead, for some completely irrational reason, you found yourself staring at him longer.
Because beneath the cap and hoodie— beneath the annoyingly handsome face—
there was something heartbreakingly familiar about him.
Like déjà vu wrapped in warmth.
Like remembering someone before meeting them.
And for some reason—
your chest hurt a little.
—
Your life was not exciting.
At least, not in the cinematic-drama sense.
You were a university photography major surviving off caffeine, instant ramen, and the stubborn belief that things would eventually work out. Your tiny apartment was always cluttered with camera rolls, sticky notes, and half-finished projects. Your best friend Chaewon claimed your room looked “artistically concerning.”
You preferred “organized chaos.”
Most days were simple.
Morning classes. Editing photos at cafés. Late-night walks. Arguing with your cat Dori who believed your laptop belonged to him.
Your life was ordinary.
Comfortable.
Lonely sometimes, maybe.
But ordinary.
Then the strange man appeared.
And suddenly your life started acting like a time-travel romcom written by sleep-deprived lunatics.
—
The second time you saw him was three days later.
You were carrying three iced americanos and one box of pastries into the university media building when someone suddenly grabbed your elbow.
“Careful.”
You stumbled just as a soccer ball came flying across the hallway.
Your drinks survived.
Barely.
You looked up.
Black hoodie again.
Familiar smile again.
“Oh my god,” you deadpanned. “Umbrella guy.”
He looked offended.
“That’s what I’m called now?”
“You never told me your name.”
“…Right.”
He stared at you for one long second.
Like he was debating something internally.
Then finally—
“Heeseung.”
Your breath caught.
Not because the name was special.
But because somehow…
it fit him too perfectly.
“Y/N.”
“I know.”
Silence.
You frowned.
“You know?”
His soul visibly left his body.
“I—” He pointed randomly. “Your ID card.”
You looked down.
Your ID card was indeed hanging from your bag.
“…Right.”
Smooth.
Very smooth.
Heeseung coughed awkwardly.
From behind you, your friend Sunghoon appeared carrying camera equipment.
“Y/N! Did you—”
He stopped dead.
His eyes widened at Heeseung.
And then—
“Why do you look exactly like—”
Heeseung slapped a hand over Sunghoon’s mouth so fast it looked rehearsed.
․․ 𝒮𝗒𝗇𝗈𝗉𝗌𝗂𝗌 .. heeseung as your boyfriend, helps you to get over the workplace frustration ── 𝑏𝑓.heeseung x 𝑓𝑒𝑚.reader ․ ˙ 𝒞𝑜𝑛𝑡𝑎𝑖𝑛𝑠 .. fluff , skinship , kissing , mild suggestive ✿ 𝑤𝑐 .. 738
𝑎𝗎𝗍𝗁𝗈𝗋'𝗌 𝗇𝗈𝗍𝖾 ․․ this is my first work, hope u like it <33 ╱ 𝑡𝖺𝗀𝗅𝗂𝗌𝗍 .. 𝑚𝖺𝗌𝗍𝖾𝗋𝗅𝗂𝗂𝗌𝗍 ⋆
Pushing the wooden door of your apartment, you entered inside before kicking the door behind your back creating awful noise enough for your neighbours to rise up from their sweet dreams.
Upon hearing the disaster-like noise echo through the whole apartment, your boyfriend ran out of his bedroom, finding you aggressively taking off your shoes before you dashed towards the couch, throwing your handbag somewhere in the room as you plopped on black leathered comfortable material you call couch.
You were too tired and annoyed to even care about taking off your blazer. Your hair was messed, falling all over the armrest of the couch but who cares.
Heeseung till now has been certain that something was wrong as he noticed how you didn't look for him after coming back from your job.
The way your first sentence after unlocking the apartment door was ‘Hee! I am back’ was nowhere to be found. The way you would cutely roam around the house asking him how his day was then sharing your own day was something he always looked forward to, but not today.
The way your face sneered and your lips twitched, sulking like a small kid made him smile. Either way now he has to help you out as a good boyfriend he is.
With a slow pace he approached you, plopping himself just beside you, his bambi eyes looking for your pretty orbs covered by your arms.
“Are you okay, baby?” The guy asked, his tone soft and delicate.
One hand resting against the headrest of the couch while the other went over to the coffee table, placed in the middle of the room. He tried to get a better glimpse of your face.
Upon hearing his question, you slightly shook your head digging your face inside your arms to not let him see it.
“What happened baby? Just tell me.” He again tried to get the piece of information regarding your frustration so he could comfort you as much as he was capable of. His long arms now slightly wrap around your torso before pulling you closer.
He made your head to rest against his bare shoulder that was half covered by the sleeveless black t-shirt he was wearing.
The woody scent of him hit your nostrils as you found yourself snuggling more into his muscular body that made you feel warm and comfortable.
“My boss scolded me today because I made a mistake.” Giving him the short note of what exactly is the reason for your odd behaviour, you purse your lips annoyingly still remembering how that old man literally used every hurtful word he could to make you demotivated.
Heeseung slightly chuckled, finding your angry self kind of cute. His fingers brushed against your silky hair, caressing them. His attractive laughter sound made your heart flutter but you remained calm, not making eye contact with him yet.
“Do you want me to distract you?” He suddenly suggested making you slightly confused. Usually he would just tell you to move on from those thoughts but today he seemed to have other plans to make you feel better.
Pressing your lips together, you slightly nodded, getting curious of what he might actually have thought of. A little excitement occuring inside you when he slightly straightened himself on the couch, smiling.
“Then look at me.” He ordered with a muffled voice making your heart accelerate by how attractive he sounded just now. Making your torso straight, you slightly lift up your gaze to meet his deep ocean orbs filled with love and affection.
A soft and delighted smile on his face as your eyes met, giving a twitching sensation in your stomach. Waiting patiently for his next move you noticed how his gaze that was just looking into your eyes not second ago suddenly shifted to your lips.
Before you could even process anything the next moment you saw him leaning down before plump lips crashed over yours giving you a small and sweet peck.
Widening your eyes, your cheeks flushed. The blood rushed through your veins to your whole body. It was not the first time he kissed you but everytime he does it feels like being surrounded by a new spell of love from him.
The warm sensation of his plump lips was still lingering against yours as you slightly touched your lips in shyness before burying your face into his broad shoulders.
A soft chuckle escaped Heeseung's lips knowing well how flustered you are now. Without a second thought he wrapped his arms around your figure, pulling you into a light hug, while his other hand caressed your hair.
“Now you are distracted.”
taglist ( open ) .. @huenkii — let me know if you want to be tagged ^^
WORD COUNT : 25.5k PAIRING : yang jungwon x immortal!femreader GENRE : fluffy fluff, dash of angst, historical + immortal au
SYNOPSIS: you had lived a long life—emphasis on long—a fulfilling life nonetheless, but still, long. you wondered why whoever made you this way did it. to torment you? to torture you? had you done something wrong to begin with? whatever the reason may be, life started to become drab. until you met him. oh. what a devastatingly unfortunate occurrence it was to meet him.
AUTHORS NOTE : everything here is my own work. inspiration was briefly cast from a tiktok prompt mentioning immortals, but every other story plot is my own. aka this fic is my first tumblr child i raised her.
WARNINGS : mostly fluff, eventual angst, sort’ve slow build up, set in olden-day time but not historically accurate (no specific year set), brief mention of the word ‘fat’ (used in connotations of eating a lot of food), use of romanised korean words (noona, unnie, hyung, etc—i know, sue me!!!), mentions of alcohol and getting drunk/tipsy, slightly suggestive?? they get a bit kissy and handsy but not much more hehe, proofread, but im not that great at comprehension (a joke but there may be some spelling, grammatical, or general errors that escaped my reading)
SOUNDTRACK : ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ : 1 / 1 6 ↳ no. 1 party anthem—arctic monkeys ↳ kiss me—sixpence none the richer ↳ somewhere only we know—keane ↳ a new kind of love - demo—frou frou ↳ what once was—her’s ↳ everything—the black skirts ↳ hurts me too - faye webster ↳ nothing’s gonna hurt you baby—cigarettes after sex ↳ heart to heart—mac demarco ↳ 面影 (omokage)—lamp ↳ i bet on losing dogs—mitski ↳ apocalypse—cigarettes after sex ↳ m. sped up version—anil emre daldal ↳ cry—cigarettes after sex ↳ 冬の影は哀しみ (fuyu no kage wa kanashimi)—lamp ↳ an angel cried—frankie vallie & the four seasons
· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·
any likes, comments, or reblogs are appreciated !! feedback is also welcome, just don’t be rude or disrespectful yk :p
Happy. Happy was all you could use to describe the events splayed before you.
With a wicker basket cinched between your hips and your forearm, a bountiful amount of fruit toppled atop each other, a fond smile grew upon your face.
Children played amongst one another, big, toothy grins plastered on each one of their faces. It seemed to have been a game of tag, but it had been a long time since you ever experienced life as a youngin. Perhaps they changed the name?
You settled the basket gently upon the barrels behind your station, an easy access when you needed to bake something.
You had been working at your stall for quite some time, although mundane compared to your previous jobs, it served its purpose on funding your lifestyle, and also had an underlying breeze to it all. After all, baking sweet treats had always been your forte.
The night market was about to begin, and you had just arrived from a quick restock over at Jinah’s fruit stall, your infamous apple crinkle pie having been sold out even before the night got started.
You shrugged off your thick coat from your shoulders, and hung it upon the small coatrack tucked in the corner of your little shop. It was a little shabby, but it was comforting.
Fall had just begun, yet the breeze it carried with itself was chilly as ever. This upcoming winter didn’t seem to be the comfiest of seasons.
Swapping the coat for the brown work apron that only operated from the waist down, you quickly tie a knot around your hips, securing the garment. Followed by removing the metal bands you had accessorised with—they were ancient, but no one had to know that.
Finally, you commenced baking.
In doing this, you effectively stopped thinking about the issues of your current life. You zone out. Never a working day goes by without a good hour or two of your time spent on baking mindlessly. A beautiful thing it was.
Your shop wasn’t open at this time, but people could still see you, and the remaining goods you had kept on display. The only factor that showed you weren’t selling yet was the sign on the table of displays, and a little sign just in front of your little tent. You preferred baking at the stall, but there was a communal hub for all necessities near the markets that allowed you to bake your goods. This was the only time you were out of the stall—albeit leaving to get supplies—which had earned you quite the pile of books on a little stool beside the coat rack.
It had originally been your stool to sit when you got tired or the stall had been slow, but you came to realise that when you sat, you always seemed to wish you had a book in hand rather than staring blankly at the beige interior of your tent.
Now, with your back turned towards the front, and your head in the zone, all aspects of this life seemed to fade around you, a blur in the background of your mind. Even the man who thought it’d be great to start a conversation with your back became background sound.
Wait, man?
“Pardon me?” you turned in shock, like a doe in the woods. Your hands abruptly stopped kneading the pastry as you saw who had been at the counter.
He had been wearing a modest brown hat, which matched splendidly with his brown suit. He looked to be quite wealthy. Not royal rich, but rich enough where he wouldn’t need to visit this side of town. He alone looked expensive albeit. His face with all the clarity in the world, a sharp jawline contradicted his soft looking cat-eye’s, quipped with a gentle smile, and not a hair out of place.
To compare your appearances, you currently looked alike to a stray dog who had jumped out of the market people’s garbage, whilst he seemed to be a freshly baked pie that the owner spent a good fortune of time perfectly curating. A drastic difference you found.
Despite your obvious difference in status, the man smiled warmly as he pointed behind you. “Could you give me a book recommendation?” he had asked earnestly.
With a look that still resembled shock, you shook your head and put on your customer voice, not wanting to break the boundary between buyer and seller. Besides, he looked like he could tear your stall down if you said the wrong thing. He wouldn’t though, right?
“Oh! Right… Uhh. Just one moment please.” you smiled at him before turning to the pile you had created. Your finger followed each spine of books, before landing on a dark purple, almost maroon, hard cover, the title ‘Profound Feeling of You’.
You carefully pulled the book from the stack and did a quick flip through to scan it. “Here.” you handed it to him. “Despite the intimate title, it’s quite an admirable love story. It’s one of my favourites.” an unknowingly fond smile spread across your face, similar to the one earlier, as you spoke about one of your favourite books.
He nodded, before grabbing the book from your hands graciously. “Thank you.” a smile that mirrored your own plastered onto his face. “I’ll be back once I finish this.” he held the book up and waved it gently.
You nodded in agreement. “All good.” you nodded, about to turn back around to continue baking, but he spoke up again.
“When will you be open next?” he inquired.
You pondered momentarily before responding. “I’ll be here ‘till the night market ends if you read fast.” you shrugged. “But I’m here everyday of the week from dawn to dusk.”
“Perfect.” he looked bashfully to the ground. “See you then, madam.”
“Good day, sir.” you bowed your head, finally resuming your work.
What a lovely afternoon.
—
Exhausted. Exhausted was all you could use to describe how the night market splayed before you.
Maybe ‘depleted’, too?
Moral of the story: you were rich off of pies, but your energy had depleted tenfold of that profit.
Dusk was slow approaching, a hazy orange sunset yet to be revealed.
This night, you hadn’t expected such a surplus of customers and it felt like you hadn’t had a chance to look at what you made anymore. Perhaps working with one extra person could benefit you; they could take the counter and you could bake away all your stress, but business was tough, and you wanted to stay a solo stall.
After what felt like years (strangely enough, you felt like the previous years you lived weren’t as long as this very night), your final pie was sold. You still had some remaining tidbits for those who had missed out on the pies, but no one really bought them as they preferred the whole package—you feed the stray animals around the market your leftover waste either way.
The night market had slowed down by this point, and a lot of stalls were nearing closing time—yours too.
The engraved wooden sign with the words ‘NO PIES’ made its appearance on your display table, with your hand adjusting its placement so it sat perfectly in the middle of your tablecloth.
“I just missed them, didn’t I?” a familiar voice brought you from your focus.
Your gaze lifted from the wooden piece to the same man from earlier, stood in front of your display. With a regretful smile, you nodded. “Sorry, just sold my last one.” you replied sheepishly.
The man sucked air in through his teeth. “Shame.” he tsked. “Heard you’re the best around.” he complimented slyly.
Oh.
Your heart skipped a beat, a feeling you hadn’t felt in an extremely longtime—maybe in forever—rose within you.
Before he could see the redness on your cheeks, you quickly turned your head away from the man, zeroing in on the books still stacked upon your stool. “Well- They are… pretty good.” you reasoned, clearing your throat as a frog seemed to have jumped in and clogged your airways.
People compliment your skill all the time, how is this different? Perhaps it was the endearing smile that stayed stuck to his face, or even the excessively handsome face of his that you couldn’t erase from your mind in this current moment. You don’t even know his name.
An awkward silence gathered between the two of you as, he too, cleared his throat before speaking up. “I finished.” he abruptly stated.
Due to your clouded, fogged memory from the busy day, your mind instantly blanked. “Finished what?” you asked genuinely.
The man almost scoffed in shock—not in a derogatory sense, but one of disbelief more-so—as you displayed your indifference to the interaction of the day earlier. He hadn’t said anything, he didn’t need to. He simply lifted the book you lended to him—your favourite, not to mention—and waved it around playfully.
“The book.” he then stated. Finally it clicked.
“You finished? Already?” you asked in disbelief. You weren’t the fastest of readers, but reading at least one book a day improved your speed. You’ve only ever finished one book in a day twice, and they were short stories, not a whole novel. Albeit, you didn’t have long to read them, but the point still stood.
He nodded, almost proud of this achievement. “Yeah.” he murmured, rubbing the nape of his neck.
“What’d you think?” you inquired gleefully.
A smile that mimicked your own earlier in the day appeared on his face. “Wow, it was… amazing.” he huffed. “I feel like a new person.” he stated with wide eyes—a bit too wide for your liking. Was this sarcasm?
You narrowed your eyes at him, making eye contact with his own catish feature. The movement made him burst to laughter. “I’m sorry!” he chuckled, a hearty laugh that almost made you drop your anger, but you stood strong.
You shook your head, turning around to complete your finishing tasks to close your stall: pack the fruit back into the basket to bring home, seal the bags of flour and sugar, stack the pies trays and tuck them into the barrel on the left. After all, no customers would come by this time now, and you were spent from the day.
“I thought it was peculiar.” His answer wasn’t any better to his previous.
You looked over your shoulder for a second to look at him before resuming your tasks and responding. “Peculiar how?”
He gave some time to contemplate before answering. “It wasn’t quite the love story I expected; why was there no happy ending? Why did he give up? Why did she let him?” He shook his head, although you couldn’t see it. “I felt a multitude of emotions I hadn’t felt in a good while when reading it.”
You smiled to yourself as you packed up the pie trays. “So, not peculiar?”
“…No.” he said with a hum, like he was thinking to himself.
You snickered shortly. “Perhaps, unexplainably life-altering?”
“Okay now, Ms. Baker, I wouldn’t go that far.” He scoffed, leaning onto a barrel you had placed outside of your tent, acting as a makeshift table for those that wanted to try your creations immediately after their purchase.
His name for you struck a chord in you, making you realise something; you still didn’t know each other’s name. At this point, you didn’t feel like the one to initiate that conversation. “Well, Mr. Crust, I would go that far.” you boldly stated. This was your die-hard favourite, you wouldn’t let it live down its name. Even the man before you had to learn to love it.
“Mr. Crust?” he inquired.
You closed the lid to the barrel, and bent down to the floor to grab the basket of ingredients you would take home. “Mmh.” you hummed. “Your suit is the desired colour I look for when baking my pies.”
He nodded along, gaze flickering down to the sleeve of his blazer, understanding the name given to him now. “I see.”
Lifting up the panel blocking customers from entering your tent, you exited your small stall and stood face to face with the rich looking man in front of you, no boundary between the two of you anymore.
“Well then.” you began. “I’ll be off.” you smiled and bowed your head slightly in farewell.
With a regretful look on his face, the man too, now dubbed Mr. Crust, bowed his head as a goodbye.
As you turned to walk the same path you take on your way home, his voice calling out to you prompted you to look over your shoulder at him.
You lifted your eyebrows with interest, a kind smile stuck to your face.
“May I walk you home?”
—
Nervous. Nervous was all you could use to describe how the night splayed before you.
Maybe ‘confused’, too?
You walked side-by-side with the man who you let borrow your book, and now you allowed him to walk you home? What were you, imperil? You were immortal for heavens sake! Just how mindless were you?
Perhaps it was the hopeful look he had on his face; or the friendly nicknames the two of you gifted each other; or the fact that he, despite maybe being busy, came back to your stall to provide you with a small review of the book you lent him.
Or maybe, you felt that you had played your life a bit too mundane till this very moment.
That was a possibility, too.
But as you stole a glance to the man walking beside you, perhaps there was a chance you found him just a little bit handsome too. Just a possibility.
“What made you create a pie stall, Ms Baker?” he broke the silence.
You pondered on the question for a moment. The real reason you started it was because you had tried practically every job that could be attained by your level of class, never trying to achieve anything higher than what you were currently; sticking out amongst a crowd wasn’t the smartest of ideas. So, starting this pie stall was a good decision, until it became a hit, and you discovered two things.
One: you were quite the baker.
Two: staying out of peoples sight was definitely the better option.
Finally, you landed on a plausible option. “I’m a delightful baker.” you boasted, shrugging your shoulders.
A quiet chuckle resounded from him at your remark. “Well, you know, I still haven’t tried some of your stuff…” he hinted at the absence of a pie in his presence.
You tsked, mumbling under your breath, although the quietness of the night didn’t quite help to muffle your words. “Not my fault you came at the wrong time.”
“Could you repeat that for me?” the man stuck one hand behind his ear and pushed it forward, making his ear stick out from the side of his head. A mischievous smile peeking from his facade entailed that he was playing around.
Rolling your eyes, your pointer finger met with his chest, poking him once gently. “Well, what about you? You want to know all about me, I haven’t had the chance to learn about you.” you finally inquired, finger retreating back to your crossed arms.
“Let’s see.” he thought to himself, head tilted to the sky as if some God would send down some information to help him out. “Well, I work at the law firm a few streets away from the markets.” he began, adding more. “I’m the owner of the business, like you.” he playfully nudged your shoulder.
You shook your head and snickered. “We’re not the same type of business owner.” you reminded.
“Sure we are.” he pressed. “Look how flourishing your business is!”
A fond smile grew on your face as you thought about your growth, hints of red blossoming on your cheeks. “Continue.” you averted the subject.
Beats of silence passed before he carried on. “I don’t have much else to say, the business seems to take up a lot of my life.” he chuckled, but he didn’t seem all that happy. You knew the feeling, becoming so consumed with your work, you forget that you’re a person.
You simply nodded along, the two of you still following the track, before an additional question popped in your head. “If you’re so busy, how did you read my book?”
He smiled. “Glad you asked.” he hummed, reaching into one of his interior pockets and pulling out a small notebook, about the size of your hand you’d guess.
He flipped to the page he wanted to show you and pointed at the writing he had jotted down. “Here.”
You read the words on the paper carefully, following the lines:
7:30am—Open shop and start work
9:45am—Send papers to Jaeyun
IMPORTANT: make sure Sunoo submits the file on the ‘Hong family’
3:20pm—Follow up on the ‘Jin’ case
4pm—Create a sche FINISH BOOK FROM PIE LADY!!! Incredibly important.
“Was it so ‘incredibly important’ that you cleared your schedule, Mr. Crust?” you stifled a laugh.
Instead of bashfully reacting, he stood proud with his decision. “Of course, my lady, why wouldn’t it be a priority?”
You pouted and raised your eyebrows playfully. “I’m unsure, perhaps you had some special crime cases you urgently needed to plow down?” you poked.
He shook his head. “No ma’am.”
From then on, a comfortable silence weighed between the two of you. The remaining walk wasn’t so long, but you (purposefully) walked slower on this night.
Finally, you arrived at your building. A modest one at best. To be honest, it looked quite dreary and not something to show to a man like him, but here you were. Who cared what he thought of your house anyway?
You opened your mouth to bid farewell to the man, but your front door swung open before a sound could peep out.
“You’re home!” a little boy’s voice rang through your ears, before you felt a force rush into your legs and a small ‘oof’ following the movement.
“Yujin!” you lit up at the sight of the boy.
“My lady! You have a child?” the man spoke with bewildered eyes.
Oh right. The man who walked you home.
“Oh!” you exclaimed. “Oh my word, this is not my son.” you chuckled awkwardly.
You bent down to the height of the little Yujin, patting his head gently before squishing his chubby cheeks. “Yujinie.” you began. “Go inside, it’s cold out here.” you rubbed at his arms to warm them up. “Let me say goodbye to a friend, and I’ll be with you soon.” you smiled at him, watching as he slowly reciprocated it.
He nodded, marching back into the warmly lit house. “Come in soon, noona.” the little boy demanded.
You dismissed him with your hand, urging him to go back inside. He finally did, and closed the door behind him gently.
“My roomate, you could say.” you clarified finally, turning back.
This only made him more confused. “You’re housing a little boy?”
“Oh, not at all. In reality, he’s housing me!” you smiled, not a thought to how confusing your words sounded to the man in front of you.
“Pardon?” he furrowed his eyebrows, almost laughing at how ridiculous you sounded.
“You don’t understand, good sir?” you tilted you head slightly.
“I can’t say that I do my lady.” he leant against a wooden post of your porch, arms crossed comfortably. “Care to elaborate?”
“His mother took me in. I’m living with him and his mother.” you clarified again. “Would you like my date of birth with that?”
He pondered before lifting himself off of the wooden beam. “I wouldn’t mind.” he shrugged.
You shook your head. “You’re a nightmare.”
“You look like my dream.” he flirted easily.
Fighting away the heat creeping your cheeks, you reached for the door handle without breaking eye contact with the man. “Sure.”
He smiled, but another thought seemed to cloud his mind. The man contemplated his choices before bursting out his thoughts.
“Jungwon.” he said.
“Sorry?” your eyes widened in surprise.
“Yang Jungwon. That’s my name.” he repeated, almost breathlessly.
“Yang Jungwon.” you tried his name carefully on your tongue, before nodding. “Suits you.” you smiled.
“And yours?” he tentatively asked.
“L/N Y/N.” you quipped, a small smile displaying itself on your face.
“Pretty.” he mindlessly said.
You shook your head, your body entering the house with your head still barely peeking out. “Good night, Jungwon.”
“Sweet dreams, Y/N.”
With one last departing smile, you closed the door in front of you. A different, wider smile etched itself onto your face.
You hadn’t felt this erratic in a while.
It was exciting.
—
Amused. Amused was all you could use to describe how the morning after’s breakfast splayed before you.
Yujin folded his arms over one another, his previous curiosity having been crushed to the ground and beaten to a pulp. He had asked a simple question: “Who was that man last night?”.
You gave a simple response: “Not your business.”
Perhaps you could’ve been lighter on the blow.
The little boy sat across from you, awaiting his breakfast from his mother patiently, had puffed his cheeks to the point of bursting and furrowed his brows angrily. Had it been any other annoying little child that was soon to enter their first year of school, they would’ve lashed out.
But this boy just stared deeply into the depths of your soul, hoping to pull the answer out of you spiritually in some way.
“Yujin-ah.” his mother, Yebin, had sternly scolded from the stove she had been situated. One hand was placed on the counter to steady herself, whilst the other stirred the pot of soup carefully. “Don’t pry into people’s lives my pea.”
“But-“
“No.”
Yujin huffed, leaning over the table once coming to terms with this reality. “You win.” he whispered, yet continued venomously. “But I’ll find out someday, noona.” he narrowed his eyes at you, only retreating when a rough call of his name from his mother warned him not to cross the line.
You scrunched your face at the devil’s spawn before you—he was actually the loveliest kid you knew, but that’s beside the point—and stuck your tongue out at him.
Whether it be maternal instincts or your best friend knowing you too well, the call of your name resounding from the place of the stove halted your actions subsequently.
This rivalry was far from over.
After overcoming the initial tension—whatever that may have been between a grown woman and an illiterate child—a steady conversation flowed. You asked about his day previously, he responded with an extensive amount of detail. He asked about taking a pie to his preschool to which you agreed with little hesitation.
He then asked once more about the man of last night to which Yebin had swiftly placed a pot of freshly curated soup in the space between you, unintentionally interrupting her little boy’s pry into your life.
“Let’s eat!” she clapped, a victorious smile across her face as she sat in the seat beside Yujin.
“Thank you for the meal!” You and Yujin graced before you poured Yujin a bowl, then Yebin, then yourself.
Even after living the years you had, manners were never forgotten, no matter how much older you were than the others around you.
After the two said their thanks to you, everyone dug in. As the weather had begun to chill up, this morning was particularly useful in having soup for breakfast, creating a fuzzy feeling inside your chest that could only be described as warmth and comfortability.
As you ate, a flow of conversation followed.
“Jinnie.” Yebin said. His soft hum inclined her to continue. “Is your hanbok ready?”
He nodded swiftly, head about to fall into his soup from how deeply he resonated with the taste of motherly cooking.
“Are you sure?” he hesitated; was he sure?
Yujin dropped his spoon in his bowl, furrowing his eyebrows to jog his memory of his routine. Only to discover he, in fact, did not leave his hanbok out. His silence gave enough of an answer, paired with his eyes that slowly peeked to his left to catch a glimpse of his mother. “Eom-“
“Yujin.” you interrupted. “I’ll get it.” you smiled.
You stood to put your bowl in the sink, not forgetting to say your thanks once more, before heading to where Yujin and Yebin’s room was situated. Your hand on the golden handle pressed down as the wooden barrier granted entrance into the room.
Your eyes immediately landed on the smaller closet that lay next to Yebin’s, a cute symbol of their bond as son and mother.
It was small instances like this, where you wish you could settle down and have a family of your own, much like the two most important to you, who sat in the kitchen as you spoke.
Waving away the thought, you opened Yujin’s wardrobe to pull out a blue and white with a silver trim hanbok, lifting it up to admire it.
You thought of it on the little boy and your heart melted. It was so cute you felt like containing it all and then spontaneously combusting with happiness. Was this baby fever? You shook your head violently, ridding any lingering thoughts of your forgotten dream; you can never have children.
As you emerged from the bedroom, you poked your head from the hallway to peek out. “Unnie!” you called, watching as her head spun in attention.
She was sat drinking a cup of tea with a book in front of her—Yujin had went to wash the dishes—before she focused on your figure, raising her eyebrows in interest.
You pulled the hanbok in her sight to see if it was okay, and she nodded swiftly, gesturing for you to come out of the hallway. “Jin!” she called softly.
Yujin peeked his head past his shoulder once before patting his hands dry, having finished cleaning the last dish. His little feet padded over to his mother, eyes casting down to the blue hanbok in her hand; one of his favourites.
He smiled graciously, taking the garment in his own hands carefully, bowing before taking off into his shared room with his mother.
A hum resonated from you. You had sat down beside Yebin with your head falling gently atop her shoulder. One of her hands raised to pat your head gently. “I know.” she sighed, sympathising with you. She knew about your situation. “Live vicariously through the two of us, my dear. I want you to.” Yebin proclaimed.
Hearing this, a few tears shamelessly welled in your eyes.
One night, you had confided in Yebin after she read through a historic paper dating 50 years prior to the present. A painting of you and some other farm workers varying in age detailed a horrible famine that induced the farming industry’s boom. You weren’t sure how the artist had managed to sneak a shot of you into the painting, but the realistic image of your face was discernible, an almost mirror replica of your own face currently.
With your eyes downcast, your lies of the person in the image being your late grandmother had not pierced through Yebin, her eyes holding a strong wind you had never witnessed from her before. Thus, she inevitably had became aware of your predicament of a curse, vowing to stay by your side until the day she was lowered into the ground with white roses thrown along with her.
“Thank you.” you huffed, voice barely breaking a whisper. “Thank you for staying beside me.” A tear fell and cascaded along the surface of your cheeks, wobbling gently against the edge of your chin before splashing onto your undershirt you wore around the home.
“Aw, baby.” she cooed, lips falling to a frown, as her hand reached to push a strand of hair behind your ear whilst delicately brushing off the path of tears staining your cheeks. “Never think I’d abandon you, ever. I’m here always.” she reprimanded, hand falling to pat your shoulder.
“Eomma! Noona!” Yujin’s voice was heard before he was seen, ushering you to cast away your face from the hallway and wipe the tears that had grazed your face. “Am I decent?” he smiled warmly, giving a slow turn in his hanbok that made him look smaller than he was.
You turned your attention back to the little boy in front of you, hoping that his happiness was enough to distract him of the reddened eyes and lingering sadness you harboured. “Perfect!” you clapped, a genuine smile spreading from ear to ear. “You’re so cute Yuyu.” you asserted, hands reaching out to squish his chubby cheeks.
He frowned and pouted, but made no effort to move from your actions. “Noona.” the words slipped past puffed lips. “What’s wrong?” he asked gently, like he wasn’t some four-year-old boy.
“Nothing’s wrong little man.” you reassured, hand moving from cheek to head as you patted his hair gently. “I just yawned before, yesterday still made me tired.” a convincing smile wiped away the boy’s worry for you.
He sighed. “If you say so.”
One more ruffle to his hair left him frowning in disapproval. “Noona!”
—
Shocked. Shocked was all you could use to describe how the surprise separated by a door splayed before you.
With a tug on the handle and a quick ‘see you later’ to Yebin, you opened the front door with Yujin trailing behind you. Before you could step out from the house, the man leant upon the wooden post of your porch caught your eye before anything.
Your eyebrows furrowed in your state of confusion. “Sir Jungwon?” you tentatively asked, like if your voice was any higher decibel, he would’ve vanished.
His cheeky smile appeared as you came into his vision. “M’lady.” he breathed out. He moved to slowly approach you before stopping abruptly, eyes falling to your legs—well, behind your legs.
“Hello little guy.” he peeped. His eyes cast to your face, rounded eyes seeking an answer.
“I’m dropping him off at the children’s care.” you responded. “Isn’t his hanbok the most adorable?” you quipped, cheeks feeling fuller as your attention laid on the boy behind you.
“Noona…” Yujin grumbled. He huffed and rolled his shoulders. “I’m not cute.”
You tsked, patting his back. “You say that, and then you look like this, Yuyu.” you assured, giving a sarcastic smile that made him shake his head and let out another huff.
No word was said as he left from behind you and started his journey early, leaving the two of you on the porch.
Jungwon chuckled as his eyes followed Yujin, feet inclined to move towards the little boy. “He’s the cutest.” Jungwon reiterated.
A fond smile grew on your face as you walked ahead of Jungwon. “He is.”
The two of you walked side-by-side with one another, not a word spoken to break the silence. For some reason, the silence between you felt comfortable and normal, like you had known each other previously—impossible considering your situation.
Your eyes surveyed your favourite boy in front of you, watching as he kicked at the dirt below his feet. As your eyes followed the direction of Yujin’s downward stare, your eyes widened like saucers at the dirt that had wafted to the hem of his hanbok.
Instinctively, you sped up to Yujin and stopped him from walking any further. “Little boy!” you snapped sternly, eyebrows furrowed as you dusted off his clothing. “Pay attention to what your feet are doing!” you huffed.
Without looking at him, you could tell Yujin pouted his lips. “Noona…” his sad sounding voice made you avert your eyes to his face in concern. Instantly, a cheeky smile grew on his face. “Made you look!” he teased.
Your resolve faded and a smile grew on your own face, not before shaking your head disappointedly. “Ah, Yuyu.” you hummed, still dusting off his hanbok. “What am I going to do with you?”
From where he stood, Jungwon couldn’t help the fond grin that threatened to spread across his face; the sight of you in such a commanding manner with a child made his heart flutter and his stomach flip 180°. You were just the most breathtaking thing to him, and he’d only gotten closer with you the day prior.
“Mr. Yang?” your earnest eyes met his own, eyebrows raising in anticipation. “Did you hear me?” you asked.
Jungwon shook his head to return to reality, the bubbles and glowing aura that fawned behind you started to die down and the dirt of the path returned to vision, he’d really gone and done it now, hadn’t he? “My apologies, could you repeat it please?”
You snorted at his wavering attention. “Do you have anything to wipe this with?” you repeated, head tilting playfully.
“…No, sorry.” he finalised. “I can go look-“
“No, it’s okay.” you reassured, lifting yourself from your squatted position. “I’ll go.”
“But, my lady-“
“Please don’t bother yourself, Sir. Yang. I know this place well, I know exactly where to get what I need.” you reiterated, nodding in assurance.
Whatever Jungwon’s next words were died on his tongue as he simply agreed to your argument with a nod. “Be safe.”
“I won’t be long!” you said, mostly to Yujin. “Stay with him, okay?” you called, pointing an accusatory finger at Jungwon.
He raised his arms in mock surrender to which you snickered at, before turning and heading off to your destination.
Meanwhile, Yujin had squinted his eyes at Jungwon, scrutinising his very being. Upon turning to the boy, Jungwon had caught quite the fright when realising he had already been watched.
“Alright, mister!” Yujin grumbled, hands settling on his hips as he looked upon the man before him, eyes unwavering. “You’re suspicious.” he finally stated. “I don’t know why, but you are.”
Jungwon chuckled. “Okay.” he smiled whilst nodding, moving to squat so that he levelled out with Yujin. “And why do you say that, child?” he asked, genuinely curious on this kid’s perspective.
Jungwon widened his eyes in disbelief. “Me?” he pointed to himself before looking around him quickly, surveying his surroundings. “What am I hiding?” he laughed in amusement. What a peculiar kid.
The boy looked side to side before gesturing for Jungwon to get closer. Swiftly, Jungwon grew closer, with his ear pointing towards Yujin. With a hand moving to cup around Jungwon’s ear, Yujin whispered quietly. “You’re interested in Y/N noona.” he finalised, hands falling to his sides after he spoke.
A soft laugh reverberated from Jungwon, his facade of hiding his allure for you starting to crackle. “Well, of course I’m interested in her, I want to be friends with her!” Jungwon tried to salvage his image.
Yujin just shook his head disapprovingly. “No, Mr. Liar.” he crossed his arms. “I mean, you want to court her, don’t you?” he raised an eyebrow, lips thinning.
If Jungwon were honest, the boy stood before him looked quite cunning. Fearless, even. He envied him.
“Why do you say that?” Jungwon questioned.
Yujin tsked. “I can just tell.” he hummed. “By the way, I’m her favourite, so if you want to try and take her attention, just know I’m first.” he whisked his head away from Jungwon quickly, chest puffed confidently.
Jungwon smirked. “Should we make this a competition then?” he entertained this idea, hand stuck out to shake the little boy’s own.
Peeking at the man through the slit of his eye, Yujin slid his own, smaller hand into Jungwon’s, shaking softly in agreement.
“Deal.” he contested.
“Deal.” Jungwon smiled fondly.
The boy was quite a cute kid, but currently, they were rivals. Neck to neck this battle would be.
Before Jungwon and Yujin could break both their clasped hands and intense stares between each other—it was mostly Yujin’s childish, yet cunning stare, and Jungwon’s amused one—you had arrived to witness the unknown chaos ensuing in front of you. “Have you two made friends?” you questioned, curious on whatever they were plotting.
They side-glanced at each other, until Yujin spoke for the both of them. “You could say that.” he shrugged.
Your eyes narrowed at them. “Were you guys bad-mouthing me? That’s quite rude you know.” you frowned, fawning an upset expression.
They just laughed at you. Maybe they were?
“My lady.” Jungwon smiled, hand reaching out to grasp your bicep. “You are one to be talked up about, not down.” he reassured, gently gesturing for you to walk alongside him.
You rolled your eyes. “Mmh, sure then.” you pursed your lips, averting your gaze. How can he say such things so… casually?
After you cleaned off the dirt from Yujin’s hanbok—which would most definitely need to be washed as soon as possible once he gets home—yourself and Jungwon walked on either side of the boy, holding his hands and surveying how he dragged his feet.
Each time he’d even barely graze the floor, you’d tug at his hand in your grasp, widening your eyes threateningly at him. And each time you’d do so, he’d meet you with a pout of his lips, almost tempting you to drop the stern act.
This continued until, finally, the bunch of you made it to the children’s care, spotting the normal lady that took care of the kids waiting at the front gate. She smiled warmly at you, hand outstretched to usher Yujin in. “Hello, cutie!” she gushed, cheeks becoming full with her smile. “I’m happy to see you once more, Yujin-ie.”
Her hand reached to pat his head to which Yujin smiled politely. “You too, Ms. Guk.” he bowed before rushing inside the house to meet his friends.
Boyoung, or Ms. Guk, turned to you with a smile. “It’s always a pleasure seeing you as well, Y/N.” she greeted, eyes drifting to the man beside you. “And this is…?”
Your eyes widened as she gestured to Jungwon. “Uh-“
“Her friend.” he smiled, hand reaching to shake with Boyoung’s. “I’m Y/N’s friend.” he reiterated.
As your eyes followed the path from his plump cheeks, to his arm which reached towards Boyoung, and finally landing on the rosiness settling upon her face as she too outstretched her own hand, you found yourself internally seething. He looks so happy? And so does she? And why does that make me angry?
A very abrupt and short conversation flowed between them, one that went unheard by your ears as your own thoughts clouded your consciousness. Only until Jungwon spoke up, were you brought from your internal turmoil. “Did you hear me?” he questioned, the friendly smile he seemed to wear constantly broke through your vision.
“Sorry?” you shook your head, eyes peering into his as you slowly focused back to reality.
He smiled gently at your confusion, finding your dazed and lost face amusing. “Let’s go.” he muttered, slightly above a whisper.
You found yourself nodding absentmindedly, turning to Boyoung to bid farewell.
“See you tomorrow, Y/N!” she waved. Once Jungwon turned away from her, she mouthed to you bring him with you and pointed towards Jungwon’s back, to which you politely smiled and nodded, knowing that if he decided to escort you again tomorrow, her wishes would be met.
You waved again before turning away, huffing once you started walking away from the centre.
“Penny for your thoughts?” his voice spoke gently, breaking the silence as his head tilted towards you, a smile that he couldn’t seem to wipe off gracing his face.
Air left your nose briefly as you snickered. “No thoughts, kind sir.” you concluded.
Jungwon retreated, nodding whilst pursing his lips. “Okay… sure. I’ll pretend I believe you.” he jabbed, hands conjoining behind his back.
You tsked, hand raising to slap his bicep playfully. “I’m not lying.” you prodded, arms moving to cross one another. You didn’t miss the way he hissed and rubbed at his arm.
“You’re so aggressive.” he sneered, though the playful smirk that played on his lips proved the absence of any anger.
“I’m not.”
“Sure.”
The both of you laughed off the jeers, walking alongside each other peacefully with an understanding silence settling. You casually admired the scenery, tall trees and lush bushes surrounding the dirt path you walked. Straight ahead were the stalls in which your specific pie stall was situated. It wouldn’t take longer than five minutes to arrive.
So, with the calm silence between you, you allowed yourself to soak in the ambience. It was a clear forecast, no cloud in sight, yet it wasn’t hot nor humid, a perfect temperature with a steady breeze. With the trees exponential height, the sun was covered, only patches of light littering through.
Though, this appreciation for nature overclouded your awareness, as you hadn’t caught Jungwon’s eyes sneakily surveying the area before looking at you in his peripherals. Upon seeing your distracted attention, he allowed himself to soak in the sight of you. You in all your glory. You in an almost angelic state. You in your most zen.
If he were honest, he’d known about you for a while. Maybe three months prior to your recent interaction was the first time he saw you.
The solitude you had found on this path with him countered the concentrated and intense energy you radiated from the little beige stall you called work. With the combination of baking inside the stall, and plastering a sign to tell customers you were waiting for your goods at the community hall, you were truly in your element.
He hadn’t only witnessed the times in which you were at a focused pace. He also watched as you flicked through pages of books you had begun reading, kindly declining any lingering customers and informing them to come at a different time later in the day as you had given yourself time for a break.
He admired your work ethic, yet balance with your own wellbeing. He believed you were quite wise beyond your years despite your young appearance.
He admired how you kept a consistent attitude to each of your customers, no matter how difficult or challenging they made your work.
He admired how hard-working you were, consistently keeping up the quality of your goods with no error—evident in each customers reaction whenever they take a bite, and, yes, he surveys them too.
And in the turn of your head as you glanced in his direction, eyes meeting his earnest ones abruptly, the world seemed to pause on its axis to solidify the moment. With interlocked gazes, you flashed a confused smile, a loose chuckle falling from your lips as you caught him staring. “What is it? Do I not look good?” you inquired, maintaining the eye-contact between you two.
Jungwon was almost breathless. Not look good? Not look good? You look heaven-sent! What do you mean ‘not look good’?; is what he wanted to scream at you, instead he opted for a clearing of his throat. “Of course not, there was a bug in your hair, I was just observing it.”
At the mention of a bug, your eyes widened. “A bug?! Where?!” you ducked, dusting off your head repetitively to rid yourself of the creature. “Is it gone?!” you asked hurriedly.
He swiped your hair twice, then brushed his hands together to dust them off before tucking them into his pockets. “Yes, it flew away.” he finalised.
You huffed a relieved sigh. “Thank God.” you breathed, hand falling against your chest flatly, soothing your pounding heart. “Why didn’t you say anything sooner?” you tsked, annoyance settling in as you registered a bug having been in your hair.
Jungwon smirked, not even looking in your general direction any longer. “If I did, I wouldn’t have gotten that show then.” he shrugged.
You deadpanned him before raising your hand jokingly to hit his arm.
He dashed away from you quickly, avoiding the threat of your hand. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” he chanted, though the amused grin never left his face.
Your annoyed expression remained as you sneered at him, tongue clicking against the roof of your mouth like an agitated mother.
Before any teasing could pursue, you had escaped the trail and made it to the clearing of the markets. You and Jungwon walked towards your stall together, with you turning towards him once you arrived to bid your goodbyes.
Despite not wanting to show your reluctance, you felt as though you had been a bit obvious. Obvious with the way you looked at him expectantly when you had arrived, almost wishing he’d hang around with you. Obvious with the furrow of your eyebrows when he gave you that same kind smile he always seemed to wear. Obvious with how you hesitantly lifted your hand to wave as he walked away backwards. And obvious with the sigh that escaped your lips as he finally turned away—thankfully Yang Jungwon was oblivious.
You asked yourself once more; why were you upset?
The two of you had only began speaking the day prior, how had he charmed his way through already?
As you shook your head, clearing the thoughts from your mind, you lifted the wooden divider to your stall once more and started a days work.
The same, repetitive routine that you followed each day to make a living. You weren’t ungrateful, but you wish that your past expeditions allowed for some free time and extra currency.
Alas, here you were selling pies.
A long day it would be.
Selling pies.
Alone.
With no Jungwon.
…
A long day truly.
—
Dejected. Dejected was all you could use to describe how the emotions caused by an absent Jungwon splayed before you.
Maybe ‘disappointed’, too?
It was nearing midday and your break was fast approaching, which meant you’d have to get a pie delivered to Yujin’s care centre soon. And even with the surplus of customers, although not different from any other day, somehow after meeting the cat-eyed man, you developed a longing for him.
How silly.
You had lived for a remarkable amount of years and here you were worrying for a man you’d soon outlive.
Silly and naive.
You blinked away the thoughts wracking your mind, the idea of him a distraction to your routine.
That’s right, he ruined your routine. Your articulate, monotone, and consistent routine.
But, was that something you wanted? After all, you craved for a change in your life, perhaps this is what you needed?
“Ma’am!” a customer called for your attention, snapping you out of your inner monologue.
Your eyes widened in surprise. “My apologies!” you dusted off your hands on your apron. “How may I help you?” you gave a light smile to the man across from you.
He, however, did not reciprocate. Instead he rolled his eyes before staring at you viciously, pupils burning holes into your very being. “Any pies left?” he inquired, eyebrow raised impatiently.
You thinned out your smile, looking at him blankly rather than kindly—he wasn’t deserving of your energy it seemed. You turned behind you, seeing only ingredients and no pies. If you had made one now, it would seep far into your much needed break. “Sorry, no.” you apologised. “I’ll be going on a break in two minutes, sir.”
He scoffed. “Can’t ya make one?” he challenged.
In response, you gave a sarcastic smile, one that looked so sweet that it’d rot your teeth. “Unless I were a witch who could speed up time, I’ve nothin’ for you.” you shot back. How did he expect you to whip up a pie like it was no one’s business? It took time to create and perfect each good you created, especially your best selling pies. No way would you sacrifice your highly curated and delicious pie reputation just to meet this man’s needs.
With another roll of his eyes he peered at his watch. “How long ‘till you’re back?” he inquired, hand falling to rest on his hip.
“I’ll say about half an hour.” you proposed. “I’ll have to drop something off before I can come back here.”
He groaned, mumbling under his breath. “Does she think I have all the time in the world?” he huffed irritably.
Again, you shot an overly kind smile at him. “If you have no time today, come tomorrow.” you finalised. “I’m open everyday, sir.”
“Yeah, yeah.” he shook his head. “I’ll be back then.” he concluded.
Normally when you hear those words, your heart swells with pride, but now you only felt dread for the future. “Okay, sir. I’ll be off now.”
Turning around, you untied your apron and hung it upon your coat rack before grabbing the already bundled pie you were going to bring to Yujin.
Once you gathered the bundle in your arms, you turned to leave the stall, asking one of your neighbouring stall owners to watch over in your absence, to which they agreed.
You breathed a sigh of relief, that man having been the cherry on top to your tiring afternoon.
Just when you believed you were free, you heard his voice again. “Excuse me, Ms?” his voice caused a shudder to rush down your back.
You peered past your shoulder before turning to look at him fully. “Yes?”
He pointed at the bundle in your arms, finger jutted in accusation. “Is that a pie?” he asked.
In your tent, you hadn’t realised how he seemed to tower over you, his height matching Jungwon’s you assumed. This factor caused you to cower backwards slightly, especially as he ushered closer.
“Yes, I’m delivering it to someone.” you spoke truthfully.
He didn’t like that. “So, you tell me there’s no stock, and yet, here you are, with the stock in your hands? I have gold, don’t you want it?” he asked, taking steps closer towards you.
Your friendly demeanour began to falter as it started to fade into fear. “I’m sorry, sir, but this is important. I must gift it.” you pleaded. “I’m reminding you once more that you can come again later today or tomorrow.”
He huffed, eyebrows furrowing as he crossed his arms over one another. “Sure.” he chuckled, feet moving towards you slowly. “But, I want one now.”
The commotion the man created had caused a small crowd to form, whispers gathering amongst onlookers. A majority of them being customers, ones you had served previously, some were workers that had come to grab a bite at the stalls, and others walked ahead, ignoring the whole ordeal.
But one person, entering the clearing of the stalls, spotted you and the man’s disagreement. His eyes narrowed as he zeroed in on you, before looking amongst the crowd. No one was going to help you? He saw the difference in stature between the man and you, no way were you getting out of there unharmed if the guy made a move.
Despite leaving the law firm on his break and coming to the market’s to eat at his favourite stall, he had a new objective. Help you.
He changed his direction from the stall he was headed to, and charged over to the crowd urgently. His height was enough to squeeze through the small group of onlookers—as they looked back to curse whoever was pushing past them, they widened their eyes at the height difference.
“Hey!” he bellowed, emerging from the crowd. He moved to stand between you and the man, covering you from the enraged customer. “What do you think you’re doing? Bothering a young lady?” he dared. He easily exceeded the man, eyes looking down towards him.
But the man held his ground. “What do you think you’re doing? You’re interrupting our conversation here!” he fired back.
The taller guy laughed. “Conversation, or harassment? I think one outweighs the other here.” he hummed. “Defending yourself is futile here, if I were honest with you.” he countered.
The man scoffed, shaking his head as he backed up. “I’ll be back!” he suddenly said with a playful voice, peering past the man who was covering you and flashing a menacing smile.
You shuddered, thoughts of closing your stall just to avoid him began to bubble in your conscience.
“Are you alright?” the male in front of you questioned genuinely. His clothing was oddly similar to the one Jungwon had worn the day before, though his black framed glasses outlined his razor sharp eyes, a mole dotted under one of his eyes, and another on his chin.
You breathed out in relief. “Yes, thank you so much. How can I repay you?” you reached into your pocket for some gold to hand over as payment.
His hands reached out to stop yours from grabbing anything. “Please, you don’t have to give me anything.” he smiled graciously.
You shook your head in disapproval. “No, no, you deserve something in return.” you glanced up at him.
He chuckled at your hastiness. “Ms, it’s okay.” he hummed.
Sighing, you pursed your lips. “I feel bad though.”
He, too, exhaled, eyes casting downward in thought. “Here.” he prompted. “I’ll escort you to wherever you’re heading so no big, angry wolves come pouncing on you again.” he winked.
You scoffed in disbelief. “You’re kidding, what sort of payment is that?”
He smiled. “One that I’m willing to receive.”
You nodded in approval. “Smooth, Mr…?”
“Riki. Nishimura Riki. Or you can call me Ni-ki alternatively.” he smiled gently, hands tucking into his pockets.
“Ni-ki.” you hummed. “Alright then, thank you, Sir Riki.” you grinned, a genuine, thankful grin. “I’m Y/N for reference.”
He smiled back. “My pleasure, Y/N.” his hands reached to grab your bundle. “Let me hold that for you.”
“Thank you, kind sir.”
—
Intrigued. Intrigued was all you could use to describe how Riki’s personality splayed before you.
He was funny. Seriously funny.
Not a minute went by before he made you laugh, again.
The two of you had just arrived to deliver the pie to Yujin’s daycare, in which Riki was confused too.
“You have a child?” he asked, eyebrows raised in suspicion.
You chuckled to yourself. “No, sir, I do not.” you shook your head, finally arriving at the gate.
“Yujin!” you called from the gate, bundle still in the arms of the man next to you.
The door burst open and a gleeful looking boy came sprinting out. “Noona!” he called happily, his expression a ray of sunshine that cleared the negativity of earlier. As he approached, he looked to Ni-ki beside you, a perplexed furrow of his eyebrows indicated his confusion. “Who did you bring this time?” he poked at you, both physically and teasingly.
You rolled your eyes. “This is Ni-ki.” He waved as you gestured towards him. “He helped me with a complication at work.” you thinly smiled.
He nodded to himself. “Ahh!” he agreed. “Complykatson.” His arms crossed over one another. Perhaps this kid had an old man’s soul within him.
Before you forgot, you turned to Riki. “Here, Yujin.” You handed the pie over to him, making sure his little clammy hands secured the bundle safely. “Don’t have it all to yourself! Share with the others!” you demanded, hand pointed accusingly at him.
“I won’t! Gosh.” he pouted. You smiled fondly at him, giving his head a pat before he kissed your cheek when you leant down. “Have fun at work!” he bellowed, bowing his head politely at both you and Riki since his hands were too occupied to wave.
The two of you waved at him, waiting till the door closed behind him once he walked back inside.
You sighed to yourself contently. Despite the nuances of earlier that day, the smile that spread across your favourite boy’s face was priceless; no gold could buy that smile.
You turned to Riki, a smile sat warmly across your face. “Let’s head back now.” you stated, hands conjoining behind your back in a stroll-like posture.
He nodded. “This escort mission was quite calming, I must say.”
“It’s a lovely day today, must be that.”
He hummed, his head turning to you before he asked a simple question. “Do you deal with those sorts of people a lot?” he asked sincerely, eyebrows furrowed in concern.
With a simple huff, you chuckled pitifully. “Yes, but the ones that approach me after I’ve said we had no more products don’t happen as often. This one was probably the third time its occurred.” You reminisced to the times prior.
Ni-ki shook his head disapprovingly. “You should really get an additional worker with you.”
You shrugged. “I was looking into it, but there’s no one I know with that much free time or willingness to indulge in that sort of work.”
A silence settled between the two of you; Ni-ki gathered his thoughts while you stared at the ground beneath your feet.
Suddenly, he cleared his throat after a brief moment. “Well, you know, I could…” he trailed off, eyes wondering.
“…You could?”
“I could-“
“Y/N?” a familiar voice resounded in front of you.
You hadn’t even realised whilst chatting with Ni-ki, but you had already found yourselves at the heart of the markets, your stall only a handful of steps away.
As your attention switched from Riki to the voice, your eyes widened.
The man you had been wanting to see all day, the one who left you dazed for the hours you worked till now, the one who had been implanted in your brain since he took you to work this morning.
“Hyung?” Ni-ki spoke beside you. Hyung?
“You know each other?” You looked to Ni-ki in surprise, gaze switching between the two men.
“Mmh.” Ni-ki hummed, a smile across his face as he connected the dots. So this is what Jungwon was busy doing. He laughed to himself. “We work at the same law firm.” he clarified.
“Do you even have work?” you asked suspiciously. “Why are you both here, shouldn’t you be busy?” you pressed, stepping toward Jungwon with your hands crossed over another.
“Well, you see, I… cleared my afternoon.” he spoke sheepishly as he cleared his throat, your eyes widening at the prospect.
Your playful demeanour dropped as you looked at him. “You what?” A deadpan look settled on your expression.
Jungwon’s gaze looked behind you at Riki for a second before he looked at you. “I wanted to stay with you.” he responded in a near whisper.
“Are you serious?” you scoffed in disbelief, but a ghost of a smile stayed on your face.
“Yes… I finished all my work by lunchtime.” he stated as if it were normal to cram a days work within five hours or so. Riki laughed to himself briefly, averting Jungwon’s attention to his younger friend as he scrutinised him. “What is so funny to you?”
He shook his head disappointedly, but playfully. “Do I really have to spell it out for you?” Ni-ki teased, a smug grin settling on his face. He walked past you to whisper into Jungwon’s ear. “Sunghoon hyung is gonna hear all about this.” He laughed as he backed away, whilst Jungwon looked bewildered.
You were lost as to what happened. “What? What did you say Riki?” you tugged at his shoulder. “Why does Jungwon look like he saw a ghost?” you inquired, your confusion evident.
He simply laughed it off, waving his hand to dismiss your question. “Don’t worry, it’s not about you.” he blatantly lied, but you didn’t know that.
“Well… I still want to know.” you spoke sadly, hoping to garner sympathy points. “Can you tell me?”
“Gladly! Jungwon hyung-“
“Zip it.” Jungwon covered Ni-ki’s mouth. He cleared his throat before taking his hand off. “I believe you have work to do.” he spoke sternly, straightening out his blazer.
Ni-ki scoffed. “You’re one to talk, Mr. Yang.” he replied teasingly, tongue sticking out to annoy Jungwon.
Jungwon sneered at him, hand gesturing for him to leave, to which Ni-ki obliged. “Bye Y/N.” he patted your shoulder.
Your hand reached for his wrist which slipped through your grasp as he turned. “But, what were you talking about?” you attempted to get last minute information.
“Bye Ni-ki!” Jungwon interrupted, waving off Ni-ki sarcastically.
The younger mouthed the name Sunghoon hyung as he looked behind his shoulder before going to buy the food he wanted initially.
“What? What?” you were desperate to understand the joke, shaking Jungwon’s shoulder. “Tell me!”
Jungwon tsked, shrugging away your hand as he headed to your stall. “So! Ms. L/N, you have an extra worker for the afternoon.” he smiled, swiftly switching topics. His tooth-rotting grin tempted you into dropping your curiosity.
“Oh? And what do you know about baking pies Mr. Jungwon?” you teased, a smirk growing on your face as you walked closer to your stall and thereby approaching Jungwon.
He watched as you lifted the wooden board to the tent, grabbing it after you had already entered and stepping into the area. “Nothing!” He placed the board down gently, eyes wandering around the interior of your work. “That’s why you’ll teach me.” You pursed your lips at the wink he sent your way as you turned to grab the apron you had left and threw it over his head.
“Sir. Yang.” you started, your hands resting near his neck as you tightened the neck strap securely so it was neither loose nor tight, just right. You maintained eye contact as your hands traveled down to his waist, wrapping your arms to secure the waist strap too, though in the process you practically caged him in a hug. “Just don’t interfere with me, when I’m working behind you, okay?” You tightened the strap with finality, backing away as you looked to him innocently. Perhaps you were flirting, but perhaps he wouldn’t notice.
But notice he did. Jungwon looked at you with a stunned expression before he sputtered out. “C-could you repeat that for me please?” Your effect on him adamant in his actions, but you were blind to it, somewhat.
You smiled gently, teasingly, before patting his shoulder and turning to the back station. “Mind the till, would you?”
“Could you just-“
“First rule~!” you sang, finger pointed at him without your gaze turning back.
He huffed before trying again. “But I-“
“Ey!” you tsked, turning to him. Although you hadn’t even started baking yet, it was fun to tease the man.
He pouted. “You haven’t even started!” You deadpanned him before gesturing him to go on. “Could I suggest a payment?”
You scoffed. “You haven’t even worked yet and you’re already suggesting what I should pay you?”
“It’s simple.” he countered.
You contemplated before gesturing him to continue again.
“Can I get a pie at the end of the day?” A smile that gleamed upon his face appeared, one that was hard to deny.
“Ey~ won’t that be unhealthy? You’ll get fat by the end of the month, Mr. Yang!” you tried to reason with the man.
Jungwon turned away from you, mumbling to himself quietly. “It’s either I get fat from the pies or her…” He reached for the left side of his chest, gripping onto his shirt tightly.
His heart ached.
The man was in love.
After that stunt you pulled with the apron, how could he not be? He was a grown man and he allowed you to take control of him so easily, he was absolutely all yours. You just didn’t know yet.
—
Drained. Drained was all you could use to describe how your tiring work day splayed before you.
Perhaps it was the influx of female customers at your store—which definitely had nothing to do with Jungwon’s appearance.
Perhaps it was the simmering heat that magically, or better yet unexplainably, approached on the fall day, allowing droplets of sweat to formulate around the crevices of your neck, arms, and every body part that you had covered meticulously in belief of a colder day. It was an odd turn of events.
Or, perhaps it was the additional hand that made your cramped work space feel exponentially smaller than it was. Jungwon wasn’t a big guy. He was lean, yet still strong. Taller than you, but not enough that it strained your neck to look at him.
So, the suffocating air in your quaint stall couldn’t have been from him? Or was it the both of you? Or even a combination of that and the heat? Maybe the women too? Great heavens, why were they still lingering around?!
“Will you be here permanently?” A beautiful young lady, in all her poise and elegance, flashed a smile that could be written in history books for being so unrealistically gorgeous. Her hair cascaded from her scalp to her collarbone perfectly, as if no effort had been taken into her perfected appearance. Did she look this perfect because she was, or did the envy that began to transpire within you simply blow this one over? You didn’t know which option you preferred.
The girl next to her, presumably her friend with the closeness between the two, piqued up with a question too, standing on her tip-toes and giving another world-class smile. Was there some school that taught this? “If so, we’ll visit everyday!” She interlinked one of her arms with the girl beside her and the two bumped their shoulders against the other gently before, once again, giving an effortlessly curated grin.
This whole time, you had been leaning against the bench where you make your pies, as the remaining batch you had made was the last, and it was currently cooking in the communal centre.
Unknowingly, your arms had crossed and a look familiar to a scowl settled upon your expression. As soon as you felt the creases and tension in your face, you immediately dropped it, opting for a neutral one instead.
Within this time, Jungwon had responded. “I will not be here permanently.” This immediately sent a frown to both of the girls’ faces, but he continued. “But, I’ll come around occasionally when she needs the extra hand.” He gestured with his head towards you, a fond look appearing on his face, one you didn’t catch. “She’s a great boss you know? And baker too!” he praised, to which the two girls just giggled awkwardly, before the first girl spoke up again.
“Well then, whenever you do work, don’t hesitate to let us know.” She whispered the last part with a hand covering one side of her mouth. She reached into her small purse, the ones that all those rich people have, and handed Jungwon a small note. The paper itself looked like it cost more than your entire life—which was a lot. “You’ll find us here.” she finalised, throwing a coy wave to which the other girl followed, before they both walked away.
A sigh of relief escaped you. What a devastatingly unpleasant feeling it was to watch that interaction. Not because of any romantic feelings or anything. No. You don’t feel those types of emotions. You aren’t allowed to, nor are you ever going to. This was not a romantic feeling. Surely, it was just a fleeting admiration, right? Jungwon will be in the past just like all the other ‘lives’ you’ve lived in your time.
Right.
“Y/N.” The man had spun around, his conversation with the two ladies having already ended. “You seem to not be alright, do you want me to take over?” His eyebrows raised in concern, his expression worrisome as he raked over your figure; very spaced out and unfocused.
You almost scoffed with laughter at his suggestion. “No, sir. I’m just swell, I can’t imagine having you take over my stall, Mr. Lawyer.” you teased, the smile that seemed to always pop up on your face whenever you were around Jungwon appeared.
Jungwon diverted his attention to the floor and chuckled abashedly. “Got me there…” He rubbed the back of his neck.
You looked at him longingly before abruptly interrupting the brief silence. “Care to take out some pies?” you asked.
“Could a lawyer take on that responsibility?” he joked with you, meeting your gaze.
You giggled at his remark. “Wow, lawyers have a sense of humour?” Your expression was one of sarcasm, eyes blown wide and jaw dropped in shock.
He shook his head at you, but his smile remained. “Come on Missy.” he huffed, hand raising to pat your head. He ruffled your hair playfully to which you swatted away his hands. He dodged your hits as he made his escape. “Bakers are so aggressive!” he teased, lifting the board for you to leave your tent as well.
As you stepped out of the stall, you clicked your tongue at him in annoyance. “I’m not aggressive, you just get on my nerves.”
He hummed. “Really? What have I done to you that warrants this behaviour?”
You thought back to the women—an unusual amount of women to visit your stall in retrospect—and decided to not mention it, keeping your silence as an answer.
“Nothing?” he piqued with an eyebrow raise. His arm fell to rest against your shoulders casually, a very, no, extremely suggestive gesture in such a public setting. The two of you have only just made friends (?) and the market still had quite a few shoppers around.
Hastily, you shrugged off his arm and crossed your own over each other, making sure to create a subtle distance between the two of you.
“Sorry.” Jungwon mumbled, ashamed of himself for being so obvious. Couldn’t he take this slow?
You shook your head. “Don’t worry.” A smile graced your face as you looked to him, one that wiped away the worry of making you feel uncomfortable that Jungwon may have had. “I just… don’t want people to get the wrong idea.” you reassured him.
A brief silence followed before he spoke up. “What if I want people to misunderstand?” His eyes met yours in what felt like the most intense eye contact you had ever experienced. You could feel the bolts of electricity connecting your pupils to his. Your mind short-circuited and you barely stuttered out a response.
“S-sorry?” You wanted a replay of what he had just said. Had you misheard?
Redness crept up his cheeks as he averted his eyes from staring into yours, fearing he may lose himself in the process. “You heard me.” he murmured to himself quietly.
You didn’t ask any further questions. You didn’t want to. This interaction should never have happened. You and Jungwon interlinking should never have happened.
And yet, you let yourself feel. Feel how he makes your emotions run wild. Feel how a mere glance from him triggers a reaction for your heart to beat erratically. But in doing so, you also allowed yourself to feel the consequences of your actions. You felt extra protective over Jungwon. You felt an ache in your heart when he wasn’t with you. And worst of all, you felt love. The scariest consequence of them all.
Safe to say, the walk to the community centre had a worse outcome than silence, it was equally as awkward.
—
On edge. On edge was all you could use to describe how the act of closing your shop splayed before you.
Okay, maybe it wasn’t the act of closing your shop, per se, but the man who still stuck around to close the shop with you. Unsettlingly strange it was to have been so hung up on Yang Jungwon, just for any and all emotions you had for him to fly out the window and be replaced with uttermost confusion. Did what he say meant he liked you too? Was he joking with you? Are your heart strings being tugged by a jerk?
“Y/N-“
“Here’s your pie, Mr. Yang.” you interrupted, words a bit more stiff than the casual air you would tend to use around him.
Slowly, Jungwon grabbed the pie with caution, eyes peering into your astray ones that couldn’t seem to look at him. “Allow me to escort you home.” he suggested, a plea for your attention.
But you wouldn’t have a bar of it. You needed to sort your thoughts. “It’s alright, Sir.” you smiled, finally looking at him just to turn away again. “I’ll be off.” you nodded your head in farewell before heading in the direction towards your home. You hadn’t spared him a glance, the act of looking back would have made it harder to walk away.
You continued the path towards the trail where you and Jungwon had come from earlier, almost exiting the clearing of stalls before a rush of steps coaxed you into looking at the commotion.
There wasn’t much to look at though as Jungwon had pulled up right next to you, straightening his blazer and tie before clearing his throat. He looked to your perplexed stare and just shrugged. “I can’t let a pretty lady like you walk home alone now, can I?” he questioned, to which you huffed.
“I can handle my own…” you pouted and looked away from Jungwon, the sight of his sculpted face too overwhelming to look at.
He simply nodded, but you didn’t see that, before he spoke up once more. “Sure… you don’t think the people in the market talking about ‘the pie lady’ being harassed in the afternoon was… you, right?” he pondered sarcastically, his lip jutted in faux curiosity and eyebrows furrowed just as such.
Your mouth opened to speak, but no sound left. You were rendered speechless until you uttered out a meek response. “That could’ve been… the other pie lady…”
Your reply only made him laugh. “And what other infamous pie lady is there?” Again, you were left collecting your thoughts, thinking of a way to escape this hurdle. When your reply came with nothing, Jungwon hummed. Abruptly, he patted your head gently, delicately. “I’m glad you’re safe now.” he hummed, concluding his teasing.
You reciprocated with a hum of your own. “Yeah, it’s really thanks to Riki. If he hadn’t shown his generosity, I don’t think anyone would have.” You shrugged at the thought, mind reeling back to the thought of the tall, sleek man.
Immediately at the prospect, Jungwon stiffened. “Oh? So it was Ni-ki who helped you?” he pursed his lips whilst nodding to himself. A brief thought of arriving sooner and the possibility that he would have been the one at your stead instead conjured in his brain, before your reply stripped him of his thoughts.
“And I’m glad it was.” you murmured. “How lucky am I to have had a lawyer as the person to stand up for me. I didn’t even pay!” you chuckled, reminiscing to the peculiar afternoon.
Jungwon grumbled. “He’s not even a proper lawyer yet…”
You shook your head with a smile grazing your lips. “Lawyer or not, he knew what words to say and what would get the man to back off. Either that or the other guy was intimidated by Riki’s height. Have you seen that boy?” Your eyes widened as you grasped the height difference between you and the younger man. The thought made you think to Yujin and the fact that he’d too outgrow you.
He scoffed at the way you were talking about Riki. “I’d think you just like tall men at this point.” he pouted, eyes casting to the floor as he kicked the rubble beneath him. Whether he intended you to hear it or not, you pretended like the words hadn’t even left his lips, opting to steer the conversation away.
“What’s your work like?” you inquired, curious as to what a day’s work entailed—and how he completed it all to work alongside you, though he didn’t need to know that.
Jungwon didn’t need much time to think until he replied. “You’d think it’d be busier than it is, but not much crime has happened to necessarily bring us in. Obviously there’s still crime, just no big cases of it.” He shrugged his shoulders conclusively. “Oh! And there is seven of us working, so the work that does happen is spread amongst us. A lot of our time is spent processing cases.”
You nodded, a smile forming on your lips. “Sounds fun, having such a big group of people to always be around. Are you guys friends?”
He nodded fondly. “Best of friends, I’d say.” he added.
At that, you snorted out a laugh. “That makes me want to have a partner.”
Jungwon turned to you with wide eyes. “Partner?!”
You looked to him in his panic. “Yes? Like… work partner? What were you thinking of?” you chuckled.
Jungwon cleared his throat before turning away. “N-nothing. I’m just interested in becoming your partner- Work partner!” he corrected himself, eyes darting to your figure to see if you caught his slip-up.
You thought over the idea before nodding. “That’d be nice actually… but you’re the owner of your law firm, wouldn’t that be difficult?”
“Right…” he physically shrunk into himself, thoughts of working alongside you a figment of his imagination, that is until he thought of a solution. “Hold on. There’s seven of us right?”
“As I’ve heard, yes.”
“How about one of us take each day of the week?” he suggested.
Once again, you played the idea in your mind and nodded when it worked in your head. “That’d be nice, actual-“
“Wait!” He put a hand up, even stopping in his tracks for some sort of dramatic effect—but you think it’s just so he can collect his thoughts. “No, erase that idea.” He shook his head, moving forward with a hand on his chin thoughtfully. His own jealousy and possesion over you willed him away from the option.
You huffed at his irrational behaviour. “I’m sorry, what?”
“Forget I said what I just said.” he stated calmly. He let a few more ideas run in his brain before his eyes lit up and he clicked his fingers. “Or—now hear me out—I transfer ownership to Heeseung hyung?” He turned to you with a beaming smile, one that looked as ridiculous as the idea he just spurted out.
You gazed at him in disbelief before bursting into a fit of laughter. “You’re funny Sir. Yang! Too funny, I must give credit to that joke. Whew!” You shook your head as you chuckled to yourself, until you heard no laughter on his end. “Why aren’t you laughing?”
Jungwon looked into your eyes then turned away, scratching his head in frustration. He couldn’t tell you that he was willing to do all of that just to stay by your side, he’d sound crazy. But the man had been in love ever since he studied the charisma of your work ethic, and then eventually, you.
He knew one day he’d tell you how he felt. Maybe right now. Maybe the next day. Maybe within the week. Maybe this month. What he knew, was that he couldn’t back out. He’d have to continually follow through or else he may lose your interest.
With your gaze and attention on him, he felt complacent, not quite complete—that would only happen when he could safely call himself ‘yours’—but he understood that what he wanted, what he needed… was you. Even if just for a bit he could have you, he’d grasp at it. And even then, he’d want to steal just a smidge more time to stay with you, since you were so utterly alluring to him.
Jungwon was in the trenches. But he dug out this path for himself, and it was his responsibility to find his way safely to you.
"I wasn't kidding around, Y/n." he finally mustered, his tone so serious it left you dazed for a short moment.
The stoic look to his face and the complicated words that left his mouth were enough to push you over the edge of your jumbled emotions. The tone in which Jungwon had set ran a shiver down your spine. "Jungwon." you began as you finalised your thoughts. "You know that's a reckless decision, right?"
Perchance, you could say that living for such a substantial amount of years, decades even, made you wiser, but in this moment with a considerably fleeting romance (for you anyway), you weren't quite as educated as you wanted to be.
How could love be so unpredictable and... risky. You weren't even certain that this man loved you back, and yet he was taking these risks for you. Sacrificing his job just to stay by your side? Now that was irrational. You knew what the right decision was from pure common sense, but how about you? What did you want to do?
You began again. "Stop thinking nonsensically." you warned. "What you're doing may cause more harm than good."
Sure, the conversation was about transfering ownership to one of his employees, which is big in itself, but in the grand scheme of things, in the underlying meaning behind each of your words, this was truly about commitment. A commitment sworn between the two of you. A commitment that should never occur.
"What if it brings more good than harm?" His eyes rounded as he looked to you, an innocent light sparked in his eyes, one that didn't know the truth of you, and the issues that reign from that very truth. Naive he was. Naive to think that you two could actually work.
You supposed you too were naive, for having the slightest inkling that something could spark from this. But, you knew that was a pipe dream.
And yet, you wanted to be selfish, to have him to yourself, to call him yours. You knew the consequences of this decision though; you'd leave him behind, you'd watch him grow old whilst you stayed in the same youthful looking body. How badly you wanted to grow old with him. To indulge in the thought of creating a family with him.
Naive, you thought to yourself once more.
"Y/N?" His voice brought you out of your thoughts.
Only then did you realise you had started crying.
Warm, strong arms wrapped around you tightly. You buried your face in the chest of Jungwon, his presence a constant in this moment, this fleeting moment. As you cried vehemently in his arms, he held you close. His arm held you securely at the waist, whilst his other hand pushed your head into him. He leant himself down so his head rested on your shoulder, overwhelming your senses as you felt his touch surrounding your whole being.
As you sobbed, your body wracked with tremors, your arms raising to cusp his broad back in your arms. You could feel his relaxed muscles under your fingertips, one of them specifically moving as he rubbed your back soothingly up and down.
Your hands tightened their hold on his shoulder blades, letting out every single emotion you felt towards this new love you felt within you.
Slowly, your mind reeled back to reality, and only then did you hear Jungwon's comforting words. "It's okay." "I'm here." "I'm not going anywhere." were amongst other things he chanted like a mantra. You gasped at his words, an overwhelmingly strong sob coursing through your body.
it wasn't okay. He wouldn't be there. And he was definitely going to be leaving. Whether he liked it or not, that was your reality. Everyone left you alone, to rekindle your life as you vowed to never become close with another again, only for human nature to ruin your plans as you found yourself indulging in the pleasure of making connections. However, you never felt love. The true, raw love from another human being, and vice versa. You've never loved so romantically in your life. Jungwon was your first, and it was apparent in his arms in which he held you so delicately that he was your last. You couldn't undergo this situation again. Never again.
—
Empty. Empty was all you could use to describe how your internal turmoil splayed before you.
Jungwon had long since gone from your front porch, his eyebrows that furrowed in concern and eyes that held a world of worry engraved in your mind.
You stared at your ceiling blankly, every possible scenario of avoiding Jungwon appearing in your head, and each one getting turned down due to the fact that Jungwon was too nice of a man to conduct a rude act against him. Why was he such a gentleman?
Eventually, you decided the best idea you had was to just blatantly ignore and avoid him. You only ever met at your work or your house, two of the main places you spent your time at. So it’d be a piece of cake right? Or… pie.
The next morning, you took the liberty of completely dismissing work. You cooped yourself in your home, shut out from the world. Yebin had knocked earlier to make sure you remembered work, to which you argued a mean cold had been thrust upon you.
“Probably the change of temperature tampering with my insides.” you proposed from your bed.
Yebin shook her head whilst laughing. “Sure, the common cold affects the person who cannot even perish. You humour me.” She looked to your “frail” figure and huffed. “Farewell then.”
It had been a fair while since Yebin left, by this time she would have arrived at work already. And now you laid on your mattress, eyes staring blankly at the ceiling, the off-white plastered above you left little fuel for imagination.
You were close to lazily giving up and going back to sleep to avoid wallowing in your own grief before a knock resonated from your front door. Huffing slightly, you sluggishly hauled yourself out of your bed, your ivory chemise falling delicately against your thighs.
You imagined that your hair looked a mess—not at all tidy as it would normally be in its up-do—though you supposed the person at the door could only be Yebin returning to pick up something that slipped her mind when leaving the house.
The door opened with a click as you poked your head out.
“So sorry!” Your best friend funnelled out. You smiled knowingly before opening the door wider for her to enter. “Lord only knows what a mess I am this morning!” she huffed out in distress as she walked towards the kitchen to grab her packed lunch. “Next thing you know, I’d have forgotten my slip for work!” With her mind jumbled, she turned to you to kiss your cheek in departure.
Just as she was out the door, she blocked the door from closing before allowing herself back in. “I forgot my slip.” She laughed, an embarrassed blush falling upon plump cheeks. Yebin turned to you once more, looking at your bed tamed state and sighed calmly. “I appreciate you for putting up with me.” Her lips turned to a frown and you could tell she was becoming emotional.
“Oh stop, please none of this mushy nonsense right now.” You blatantly ignored her desire to be sentimental at this crucial time. “You’re late for work you gopher.” You ushered her out with your hand. “Out! Out!”
The last thing you saw was her waving at you before you closed the door in front of you.
Locking the door, you supposed now would be the time to make your breakfast. As you shifted to step to the kitchen, your door was knocked once more. With an amused grin, you turned back to the door.
“Unnie! I told you it’s not the time for sentimen-“ Nothing could prepare you for what was at your door. Supposedly, all that planning you did the night before on how to approach him if you bumped into each other would help you in this actually critical situation.
Yet, to your surprise, your mind hadn’t imagined you’d stand in front of him in such an unappealing matter.
Fact 1: You had just called him ‘Unnie’—sure you thought he was Yebin, but the fact still stood.
Fact 2: Because of all that planning, not much sleep met your deprived soul, so perhaps the dark circles running laps below your eyes were enough evidence of such—crying the night prior may have also factored into this one.
Fact 3: Chemise. Bed hair. A funny smile that was stuck between the amusement you wanted to greet Yebin with, and the shock of seeing him. Three very unflattering physical attributes to this mornings disaster.
Why was Jungwon here?
Better yet, why did he also look shocked?
“…Hello?” you said tentatively. The barriers you had spent the night before building were slowly starting to be threatened.
From where he stood, Jungwon had a full view of you in your most realest state—with your hair in a slight tangled mess, clothes you slept in on the night before, and no planned or curated tidiness. Just effortlessly you, and he couldn’t have been happier to catch you like this.
A smile spread across his face at the slight rasp in your voice as you spoke. “Hi Y/N… I, uh…” He scratched the back of his neck nervously, unsure if he should even expose himself so openly (although he had already done so a handful of times), but ultimately decided for it. “I went to the markets since I couldn’t help you to work today, but you weren’t there… so I got worried.”
The sincerity sparkling in his eyes made your resolve falter, but you couldn’t back down so easily. You chuckled nervously, eyes looking downward to not meet his gaze. “Well, I’m here now! So… you don’t have to worry.” You stiffened your smile to a line, kicking your foot absentmindedly at the floor before resting it behind your other, focusing your balance on one foot.
Jungwon’s eyes raked over your figure, sussing out your situation before clicking his tongue and sighing in curiosity. “Are you okay?” he wondered, arms folded as he was keen on figuring out your absence at work.
“Dandy!” you responded a bit too cheerfully. “A slight cough, but if anything, I’m fine.” You looked to him with a nod, confirming that you were safe and content with being alone.
He nodded, creating a brief moment of silence, before he returned with a suggestion. “Does that mean you’re healthy enough to come visit my work?”
You really wanted to think with your brain—like really, extremely, absolutely set on thinking with your brain—yet your wavering heart and cracking barriers choked out a response you knew you’d regret. “Yes, I am.”
—
Stupid. Stupid was all you could use to describe how your irrational actions splayed before you.
Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. You were so utterly stupid.
How could you let yourself back down so easily? It hadn’t even taken three minutes of his presence for your walls to come crashing down, what now?
As the two of you walked together in silence—more like you followed behind him as walking next to him became overwhelming—your chest felt tight with tension. It was as if tension surrounded your very being.
Not a word had been uttered since you made yourself presentable and left the house, nothing except for Jungwon gesturing with his head to leave as the simplest form of communication, thus you entered a realm of suffocating silence. That was tension in itself.
The unspoken tension forged between you and Jungwon, which you didn’t even know if he knew that that existed.
And then the tension with this very situation you found yourself in; connecting with the person you swore to ignore.
Once again, you felt stupid.
“You look like you’re arguing with your thoughts.” Jungwon abruptly interrupted the long stretch of silence. With his hands behind his back and his eyes peering at you every-so-often, you found yourself breaking through your thoughts and raking your gaze along the gravel road.
You shook your head. “I’m not thinking anything.” You lied.
Unlike any other time, Jungwon didn’t push. Instead, he chose to steal wistful glances at you every so often, trying to decipher the problem by himself.
In the end, he forced himself to tear his eyes away from you. If you didn’t want to tell him, there was a reason, and he respected that. But, god, did he want to know. And by all means necessary, he would make you feel better when he understood your current situation.
After a long—overwhelmingly silent—walk, the two of you arrived at a somewhat small, but modestly grand building. It blended with the other businesses around, but stuck out in its own neutral way.
“We’re here.” he mumbled, shooting a brief smile at you as he held the door to his firm open.
You nodded in acknowledgment before stepping into the quarters. You didn’t know what to expect from a law firm’s building, but it surely wasn’t anything shabby like your current position. In fact, it looked quite polished and pristine just from the outside, so there was no doubt the interior would match that expectation.
However, what you didn’t expect was to be met with five pairs of unfamiliar eyes staring inquisitively at you (and their boss), with a rather… perplexed yet knowing gaze.
“Boss!” A man stood up abruptly. hands pressed firmly against his sides as he bowed 90° at Jungwon, his tall figure bending down in a swift manner.
With furrowed brows, Jungwon responded. “What’s wrong with Heeseung hyung?” he deadpanned, shaking his head at the strange action from the eldest employee.
As he rose back up, the amused grin on his face indicated his unserious ideal of the formality, depicting his playfulness regarding the situation and his boss.
Another spoke up. “You finally back to work?” he teased, his smirk widening as his eyes flicked between the two of you. You hadn’t noticed, but behind his smirk lay an understanding of your dynamic with Jungwon through the whispers of their youngest intern, who was practically a permanent employee at this point, but he couldn’t escape the intern title even if he tried.
Jungwon rolled his eyes at the regard, opening his mouth to retort, until the back door opened with a dramatic swoosh!
With surprised eyes, a file slipped between his teeth, and coffee in either of his hands, the employee hummed in recognition. “Y/N!” he said, muffled by the cardboard between his lips—it sounded like jumble to your ears, but you digress.
When the familiar face of Riki suddenly appeared in your vision, you lit up at the sight of him. “Riki!” It was then you recalled the two working at the same law firm as confirmed the day prior. The walk leading up to this very moment had stigmatising thoughts consuming your very being, leading you to forgetting that your saviour was at the end of the path too.
Setting down the file and one coffee on an unoccupied desk and the other at the desk of the man who teased Jungwon previously—the one with the plentiful moles and knowing smirk—, Riki approached you both at the entrance with a stellar smile. “Has Hyung introduced you to everyone?” he questioned.
You pursed your lips as you thought to yourself. “…Briefly, I suppose.” Did a brief breakdown of each of his workers and what they meant to Jungwon to distract you after your own mental breakdown count?
“So a no.” Riki jeered, moving to stand beside you as he draped his arm around your shoulders, sneaking a glance towards Jungwon to gauge his reaction—spoiler alert: Jungwon becomes frozen and stiff when he’s annoyed, irritated, or, in this case, jealous, perfect for Riki’s plan of forcing the two of you together because he couldn’t bear Jungwon’s fawning over you any longer.
As he moved you along the room, arm still hanging around your shoulders, he gestured with his arm to each guy. In the table to your far left sat a cute man with full cheeks as he briefly waved to you, extending out a hand to shake your own. Riki introduced his name as “Sunoo”.
Moving to the left was “Jaeyun” yet everyone called him “Jake” as one time he expressed that foreign names were adequately unique and everyone wanted to poke fun at the guy, yet the name stuck—his charming smile and sly compliments couldn’t help but make you blush in embarrassment.
Next was the mole-faced guy who you thought looked quite stoic as you walked in, yet the smirk he wore as he teased his boss suggested anything but—his name was “Sunghoon” (and you didn’t know, but he and Riki had already formed an elaborate plan to get you and Jungwon together).
Two empty desks followed, then the tall man who bowed earlier, now sitting, was introduced as “Heeseung”, though you knew that through Jungwon’s response to his playfulness.
Lastly was the unbothered guy who was stuck on whatever paperwork he was filling out, sticking up a hand for a brief wave, before diving nose-deep back into his work. “And… that’s Jay…” Riki pursed his lips at the behaviour of his colleague. Pulling you in closer so he could whisper in your ear, Riki said very quietly. “He was here overnight so don’t mind his attitude, I swear he’s the kindest here, sometimes.”
You smiled in relief that you weren’t getting ignored and covered your mouth as you giggled at the silliness of your newfound friend, the sly grin tugging on his lips only pushing your limit further. You almost forgot the dread you felt upon coming here, but after experiencing the welcoming environment that they produced, you couldn’t help but to soften your stiffened shoulders and shielded expression.
From the distance—it was like two feet but to Jungwon it felt like miles—he watched a genuine smile spread across your face as you joked with Riki, and he couldn’t deny the pang he felt in his chest. He wasn’t and never was a jealous man, letting peace settle before any of his own emotions got the best of him. Yet in the instance where a conflicted expression haunted your face as the both of you walked together, and the contrast with the carefree and comfortable smile you wore currently, it was an undeniable bubble of envy that began to form in the pits of his stomach.
For the first time in his life, Jungwon felt jealous.
—
Tense. Tense was all Jungwon could use to describe how his concluded work splayed before him.
“Good work today guys.” Jungwon thinned out his smile, stretching his arms above his head as sitting in his chair began to take a toll on his lower back.
Murmurs followed throughout the room, agreeing to Jungwon’s testament. In his peripheral, Jungwon could see you laughing at something Jay had said, your teeth baring as your lips spread wide in a smile. Your head tilted back with a hand pressed to your chest as you calmed your racing heart. When you leaned forward once you caught your breath, you inadvertently leaned even closer to Jay.
The man hadn’t noticed, but the words that came out of his mouth sparked off a fit of laughter in you per sentence. “Am I really that funny?” he chuckled in disbelief, a grateful smile stretching the corner of his lips.
“Yes!” you giggled. Perhaps all the time you spent wallowing in your own pity left room for genuine happiness to shine—plus Jay was quite the jokester.
“Huh.” Jay said with a bit of pride, straightening his posture as he pursed his lips. “The guys don’t find me that hilarious.
You shook your head. “Well then they just don’t understand.” You swatted your hand in the air to disregard his statement.
Jungwon sighed, averting his eyes as he felt tension and envy fill up his chest. His lungs felt constricted for air as he couldn’t grasp the jealousy that seethed within him. He didn’t hate Jay. And he certainly didn’t hate you, so what was happening to him?
As he stacked papers on top of one another, standing them up and straightening them to be aligned with one another, he was hit with another pang to his heart as your giggles you attempted to suppress rang in his ears.
His head turned in the direction of Jay’s table again, gazing at you sat in the chair you had pulled up to chat with each of his colleagues. Throughout the day, you moved around the room, situating yourself across each of the guys’ table to familiarise yourself with them. Every single one of them, except for Jungwon.
The only interaction he had with you was the brief conversation at the front of your door and the path to his work.
In other words, it seemed like Jungwon was only ever able to watch you from afar, the distance between you feeling like planets away. As he reached closer, you stepped two steps back. He couldn’t deny the feeling of hurt welling in his chest, his throat, and every area of him that was consumed by you.
You were his constant, but at the pace he was going, your building relationship would become unstable.
He couldn’t let that happen. He couldn’t lose you. So the words that followed his fears were calculated. “Shall we have a team dinner?” he suggested from his desk.
And with the chorus of agreement, you found yourself sat across from Jungwon as the eight of you settled in a local restaurant. You couldn’t deny the awkward air flowing around you and Jungwon, though you found your strategising from the night before to work in this situation as you actively ignored Jungwon.
The person beside you took the brunt of your chatter, as you babbled on in Jake’s ear. Luckily for you, he had sat in the seat next to you upon arrival and was happy to keep a steady conversation moving.
Once again, Jungwon felt himself disassociating from the general chatter surrounding the table, instead zeroing in on the in-depth discussion between you and Jake. Everyone else at the table looked to their boss in amaze, never seeing this nervous yet wistful character of Jungwon.
They witnessed the way his shoulders dropped, his eyes rounded, and his inner cheeks bitten by his teeth, just from watching you talk to a person that wasn’t him.
Despite the chuckles the group had at this new side of their friend, Sunoo’s words piqued each of their interest. “How do we move these two forward?” he whispered whilst leaning forward.
The other four thoughtfully concocted ideas in their head, before Heeseung spoke up with a simple yet efficient plan. “Have them walk home together?”
Sunghoon shook his head and rested his chin upon his fist. “And if they don’t talk? Then what, it’ll just drive them apart.”
A collective silence followed their sighs, trying to strategise once more. “I think the issue here is that Jungwon is trying to find an opening, but Y/N is currently closed off from any possibility of interacting with him.” Ni-ki began, his eyes looking to each of the older guys. “Any suggestions on how to get her to open up?”
Another thoughtful period passed before Jay spoke up. “…I have an idea.” he said carefully. “But it’s a really… douchey idea and I’m not a fan for thinking it. Though, it may be our only option.”
They all looked to Jay suspiciously as he pointed at the drink menu before them, his finger laid on the words ‘soju’ and they all looked up nervously. “We should order rounds for all of us then.” Heeseung stated. “It’d become an issue if she were the only one drinking… and if she denies a drink we’ll come up with a new plan, okay?”
Collectively, they nodded and moved to catch the attention of the other three people on the table. “We’ll be ordering rounds of soju, you guys in?” Sunoo spoke up. As he was sitting at the end of the table across from Jay, he leaned on his elbows to look at the other end. His eyebrows lifted as silent way to convince the three into agreeing.
Jake and you had nodded, whilst Jungwon looked uneasy. “I don’t know guys…” he contemplated.
Next to him, Sunghoon nudged him with his shoulder. “Come on…” Sunghoon dragged out the end of the word. “It’s Friday, we don’t have work tomorrow.” he perusaded, but Jungwon still looked uneasy.
Ni-ki poked his head forward to look at Jungwon too. “Well we’re ordering some even if you aren’t having any.” he mused, head tilted provokingly.
“Fine, I’m happy to stay sober.” Jungwon shrugged, and thus an agreement settled amongst the table.
Everyone, but Jungwon would be drinking tonight.
—
Appalled. Appalled was all Jungwon could use to describe how the work of alcohol splayed before him.
Riki and Jake had already tapped out by this point, their heads splat on the table in front of them as the rest of the guys laughed at the synchronised effort of the two—although they were both too drunk to understand their joint actions.
Sunoo had his chin rested upon his fist, thoughtfully overseeing the chatter amongst the group, not having the energy to provide his input.
If it were just his friends, he would have stayed longer, yet the gnawing feeling of concern for you and your own drunk state pushed Jungwon to call it a night.
Although the tipsy and near-drunk conversations flowing were amusing, it was time to go home.
And as the boss stood up, all employees eyes laid on him, a knowing look shared between them all. “We’ll be off.” he said with finality gesturing to your stirring figure.
When you recognised that he wanted you to sit up, you let out a whine in disagreement. “Noo…” you dragged out the ‘o’. You huffed as a frown met your lips and you closed your eyes tiredly. “I don’t want to go yet…”
Jungwon battled with his inner thoughts that alerted sirens in his head screaming ‘DANGER’ ‘SHE’S TOO ADORABLE FOR HER OWN GOOD’ ‘DON’T BE A BAD GUY’. He pursed his lips as he rounded the table to your side. “Come on Y/N, we have to go now.” he spoke gently, kneeling to your sat figure as he placed a hand on your shoulder that he swiftly retracted to ensure you weren’t uncomfortable.
But you hadn’t even realised he was next to you already. You pouted, crossing your arms over the table, before resting your chin on your forearms. “But… ‘m having so much fun, Won.” you reasoned. Jungwon almost broke his resolve at the mention of a nickname you hadn’t called him ever before.
Clearing his throat, he bit his lip thoughtfully before trying again. “If you stay out longer, it’ll be dangerous.” he said in a mere whisper.
With your head still rested on your forearms, you turned to look directly at him. Your drunken state didn’t notice the close proximity between the both of you, as Jungwon’s eyes sparkled with surprise for a brief second. “What ‘bout everyone else?” you said sadly, your eyebrows furrowing in concern as you gazed at Jungwon softly, his handsome features still viable even in your clouded haze.
“They can handle themselves.” he reassured.
Your eyes fluttered close before opening gently once more. “Really?”
He nodded. “Ask them if you’re unsure.” he smiled, gesturing towards the guys that had been engrossed in a quite chatter.
Turning to the guys slowly, you sat up straight and looked to them before setting your eyes on Sunghoon—focusing on them all would have been too much for your brain to handle. “Will you guys be okay?”
With a discerning smile, they all replied with a reassuring agreement.
Your lips jutted out in disbelief. “You promise?” You raised your brows skeptically.
A few of them chuckled before they collectively replied. “We promise.” They were all a mix of tipsy and near drunk, but not to the point of full intoxication. They could definitely handle themselves and the fallen troops before them.
You conclusively nodded and turned to Jungwon again. “Well… they promised I s’pose.” you pouted once more. With finality you stretched and then leaned towards Jungwon, your torso falling onto Jungwon’s own heavily. You arms dangled as you nuzzled your face in the crook of his neck, inhaling his scent before muttering quietly. “Take me home, Mr. Crusty Yang?”
Jungwon was so close to passing out from the overwhelming presence of you, but he had to keep his mind from wavering. “Mm.” he mumbled as an agreement, slowly—albeit regretfully—peeling you off of his figure and standing up, then tugging at your arms to get you up.
You giggled as you felt the motion of getting up course through your body. Your eyes fluttered ever so slightly, yet you had a calm smile settle upon your face.
Carefully, Jungwon slipped his arm around your waist, not before quietly asking if it was okay for him to do so, and guided your own around his neck.
With a swift farewell to the guys at the table, the two of you made it out of the restaurant with little disruption.
For the moment, the only sounds were you and your quiet babbles that Jungwon had no response to, only ever replying with a curt ‘really?’ every so often.
It was only after a few minutes of walking did you start to feel the pain in your feet, and the unsteadiness you harboured from the effect of the soju. You didn’t want to trouble Jungwon, but inevitably you had to speak up. “Won…”
There it was again, the nickname that sent a rush throughout his whole nervous system. “Mhm?” he sounded.
“My feet hurt…” you said carefully.
Jungwon had no hesitation before he formulated an idea. “Want a piggy-back ride?” he looked down at you, resting your head against his shoulder. Watching as you nodded your head, you soon found yourself hoisted upon Jungwon’s back, with your arms laid upon his shoulders, and your hands interlinked with one another.
At first, you simply laid your head on his back, but that soon grew uncomfortable as it strained on your neck, so you pushed yourself up straighter against his back and rested your head in the crook of his neck once more. Quietly, you whispered out. “You smell good, Jungwon.”
He couldn’t contain the blush that flourished on his cheeks. “Yeah?” He didn’t know how to respond to such a remark, he was too flustered to think straight.
When you nodded your head, the brush of your nose against his neck sent tingles throughout his whole body, inevitably he had to bite his lip to stop himself from smiling. And with your conclusive statement, the two of you continued. The only chatter was you, suddenly having the urge to talk to him despite ignoring him the whole day, but Jungwon took any interaction he could with you and cherished it.
That was until you said something that set Jungwon off in the wrong way.
“I’m sorry…” you said in a somber voice.
“Why?” Jungwon furrowed his eyebrows, readjusting your position on his back so that your body wasn’t falling off him.
Words that Jungwon didn’t quite want to hear on this fateful night escaped your lips. “I don’t like you anymore, Jungwon.” you murmured, the air from your nose fanning upon the expanse of his neck as you tightened your grip and pushed your head impossibly closer to his.
Jungwon shut down. His steps faltered. His breath became shallow. Even the way he turned to look at your resting head was slow. “Really?” he whispered, the words almost going unheard by your ears.
With the haste in which you nodded, Jungwon just accepted, turning his head forward and burying any hope he had that fuelled his desire to be with you. “Then I guess we won’t be seeing each other much huh?” His voice trembled as the words left him, his lips betraying him as they shook with his words.
As you nodded again, Jungwon turned his head to the sky in an attempt to reverse the tears that were near falling. When he sniffled, your ears perked up as you turned your head to look at his side profile. “Wonie… why are you crying? Who made you sad?” you questioned innocently.
“Don’t worry about it.” he smiled, though his eyes clearly glistened with tears.
“But… how can I help you?”
He shook his head. “You can’t, Y/N, you shouldn’t worry about me. We don’t think of each other the same way.”
You paused, gathering your thoughts before spurting out another question. “Then, how do you think of me?”
In his peripherals, Jungwon could see your earnestly shining eyes peering into his very soul, and in the moment he couldn’t help but chuckle. What a fool he was for thinking this could work in his favour. “D’ya want me to tell the complete truth?”
You nodded.
“Even though you won’t remember?”
You nodded.
Well, shit, this was not how Jungwon thought he’d confess his love to you, but there’s always surprises for everyone. “I’m in love with you.” he stated blankly, staring straight ahead in fear of your reaction.
Any of his dying hope that remained was ultimately squashed as your unreadable expression dawned on him. “You… love me?”
Jungwon snorted at the realisation that he now served his heart on a silver platter for you. “Mhm.” he nodded. “I have for quite a while.”
Listening to his response, a smile spread across your face. As you sighed, an undertone of happiness under it, you suddenly perked up. “Perfect!” you spoke optimistically.
He raised a brow at your behaviour. “Perfect how?” His heart was practically shattered to pieces and the rejection in which he faced was certainly anything, but perfect—though it seems in your books that would be the case however.
“Because we’re on the same page of what we feel towards each other!” an uncharacteristically childish side of you was exhibited through this tale of emotions as you giggled triumphantly.
Jungwon scoffed in amusement. “Y/N… sorry to burst this bubble of yours… but I think we’re actually on complete opposite sides of the page here.”
“How?” you furrowed your brows
“Well for starters… I love you… and you don’t even like me.” he said, trying to decipher the connection in his head.
“Yes.” you reinstated.
Jungwon nodded. “So, where’s the connection?”
“Isn’t it obvious?” you huffed.
“No, not really, quite the opposite actually.” Jungwon retorted matter-of-factly, the fragments of his dignity hanging on by a thread by your reassurance that you did not like him in the slightest.
You sighed once more before straightening your posture and tightening your hold around his neck. “I love you too.” you hummed, your lips briefly brushing against the bridge between his neck and shoulder-blades.
“Sorry?”
“I love you Jungwon.”
A pause. Then a laugh.
Then a hiccup that followed a faint sob.
And the two of you were lowered to the ground.
Despite your confusion, you found yourself crouched behind Jungwon as he squatted with his head on his forearm.
Tentatively, you crab walked to his side and tugged at this dress shirt. “Won?”
After another hiccup, Jungwon mumbled into his arms. “Don’t scare me like that.”
Slowly, Jungwon wiped at his cheeks and looked to you, your lips were swollen from you nervously biting them and your eyes looked as if they held every star in the universe. Man, were you perfect to him.
With a fond smile, Jungwon reached out and tucked a stray hair behind your ear. Swiftly, he moved his hand to caress your cheek softly and you nuzzled into his palm. “Shall we discuss this over a cup of water and a more sober mind?” he joked.
You giggled at his remark before nodding adamantly.
Sure, Jungwon had waited and watched from afar, yet all that hell was worth it to see that bright smile across your face.
The smile that was caused from him, just him.
—
Nervous. Nervous was all you could use to describe how the sight the man you were utterly infatuated with splayed before you.
This nervous energy was the same you felt those few nights ago when the very man in front of you walked you home for the first time.
Your eyelids flickered every now and then, the buzz of the alcohol still lingering in your system. As you sat upon the countertop, a glass full of water that had been refilled countless times at this point in hand, you stared at Jungwon with hearts in your eyes.
Yes, the nerves were very adamantly swirling through your being, but so was the love you felt blooming in your chest. How lovely of a feeling it was to have a reciprocated feeling of want from the person you were encapsulated by.
Jungwon turned around, now meeting eye-to-eye with you, only to find you staring at him, your full attention on him. His cheeks flared red and he quickly diverted his eyes. “W-why are you looking at me like that?” he gulped nervously, rubbing the back of his neck.
You shrugged, a smile finding its way on your lips. “I don’t know… you’re just so handsome, I can’t help myself.” Your conscious mind was screaming in agony—in what world would you ever say stuff like this? The confidence built from the mere motivation of alcohol somehow allowed for you to exude this poise you wouldn’t have developed otherwise.
He chuckled nervously. “Oh, come on Y/N, don’t say stuff like that.” he exhaled as he shook his head. He was busy concocting a tea to help lessen the toll the soju would have on you in the morning, as well as to sober you up slightly so he knew you were at least somewhat aware of the conversation unfolding between you.
Teasingly, tauntingly, you tilted your head, a pout to your lips as you mumbled. “Why? I’m only saying the truth?” The sincerity in your voice only pushed a grin onto Jungwon’s face, a smug one at that.
“Oh yeah?” he jeered. After stirring the tea around and blowing on it, he turned to you, and continued the provoking atmosphere. “What other truths do you have in that pretty little head of yours?” He raised his eyebrows suggestively, caging your figure in effectively between his stable arms, after handing you the tea.
You pretended to ponder, sipping the tea whilst humming. “Hmm… I’m not sure…” you playfully mused. As you settled the tea down on the counter, you met face to face with Jungwon again, a calm expression entrancing you. You looked down, innocence and teasing written all over your body.
Slowly, your hand moved from his situated ones on the countertop, guiding their way from his forearm, to his elbow, brushing over his dress shirt that had been rolled up to that point, and trailing over his bicep. Alongside your travels, your eyes followed each movement of your hand, carefully following and scanning each crevice that your hand marked.
Finally, they brushed up over his shoulder, caressing his collarbone before landing on his chest. As these ministrations continued, the both of you found yourselves breathing heavily, suffocated by the tense atmosphere. You could feel his heart beating recklessly against his chest. Your other hand soon followed, skipping the path up his other arm and immediately resting on his chest next to your nimble fingers.
“Your heart’s racing.” you stated, eyes flickering up to his own.
Jungwon inched closer to you, his body slotting in between your legs. “Yeah?” he whispered cockily. His hands moved to hold your elbows as he straightened his posture, head no longer aligned with yours. “Why do you think that is?”
You hummed, head tilting upwards to look at him. “Not sure.”
He lifted his brows in mock surprise. “You.” he simply stated.
Slowly, he moved his head closer to yours, words tumbling from his lips. “It’s always been you. Your eyes, your lips, my god, your lips.” he huffed out impatiently. “You’re so pretty to me Y/N, did you know that? You must know that you’re the prettiest girl in the world, yeah?” His nose brushed against yours as his lips were mere inches from your own.
You could feel his exhales fanning on your face, each breath drawn from the two of you mingling with each other. “Y/N, I’ll have you know that I’m a selfish man.” he rasped, eyes gaping into yours with a half-lidded gaze.
“Really?” you hummed, your hand reaching to connect behind his neck, fidgeting with the tufts of hair that met at his nape. “How so?”
He looked to the side in contemplation before looking into your eyes once more, “If you’ll let me have you, I’m afraid I can’t let anyone else take what’s mine.”
A smug grin settled on your face, the edges of your lips a taunting spell to Jungwon, whose eyes betrayed him as he glanced down to your change in expression. “Then I’m all yours.” you mumbled quietly, like you only wanted him to hear it.
Jungwon moved impossibly closer to you, noses brushing and lips ghosting over yours. If he moved in the slightest, both your lips would collide. “Stop me if I’m going too far.” he declared, not wanting to push the limit.
“Just fucking kiss me Jungwon.”
With no hesitation, your lips met with his in a moment you could only describe as bliss.
Pure, utter bliss.
His lips moved in motion with yours, hands raising to cup your face in his hold, effectively deepening the affectionate lock. You hummed as you felt your lips mold against each other.
Gasps of air left you exasperated, but you weren’t separated for long. As the both of you looked to each other, glazed over eyes and puffy lips, you met once gain with feverish haste, your desire for each other adamant in this very moment.
Jungwon groaned in satisfaction. The love of his life was finally in his arms. And he couldn’t have imagined a better way for the two of you to finally combine as one—there were a million other possibilities Jungwon had mapped out, even dreamed about, but none of them compared to the reality of actually having you to himself, in his grasp,
And on his lips.
—
Dazed. Dazed was all you could use to describe how the feeling of waking up after an experience synonymous to euphoric splayed before you.
You jolted up in bed, blood rushing to your head at the sudden movement. The tea Jungwon practically shoved down your throat certainly helped ease the progression and outcome of a hangover, but you had quite a bit—a lot—to drink.
Stepping out of bed, you exited your room to be hit by the smell of a comforting stew being brewed. With a growing smile, you called out as you approached. “Unnie! You know me so well!” you gleamed. As you poked your head from the hallway and peered into the kitchen, you were met with, once again, not Yebin.
Your shock was evident on your face, and your cheeks grew hot from the sight of Jungwon stirring the pot. He smirked as he turned around. “Unnie again? Will you call me Jungwon-unnie from now on?” he teased before turning towards the stove once more.
A flaming blush spread across your cheeks, even reaching your ears, as you crossed your arms and looked to the floor bashfully. “No…” you pouted, kicking your feet absentmindedly. “It was an honest mistake…”
He chuckled at your retort. “Oh? How about Oppa?”
“Get out.” you asserted, your face contorting in a way that only showed displeasure. What a funny sentiment. You were older by a plentiful amount of years, how humorous of him. “You wish.” you shook your head, snorting at the thought.
Your slippers padded against the floor as you took a seat at the dining table, resting your head on a propped up fist. “What are you making Won?” The nickname rolled out so casually, Jungwon almost missed the ring of it.
Jungwon coughed in surprise. “Hangover soup…” he murmured, looking as if he shrunk into his own figure whilst stirring the pot.
With a roll of your eyes, you huffed. “I’m not a light drinker you know? What’s with all this taking care of me business?”
Jungwon shrugged. After the drunken confessions from you the night before, he felt more confident and playful with his demeanour towards you. “Can’t a man take care of the woman he’s interested in?” he nonchalantly heckled. As your response followed a brief moment of silence, Jungwon followed up. “Can’t he?” He turned to you.
He tried to withhold the smile that threatened to appear once he bore witness to your inflamed cheeks and flattened grin, suppressing the very new, very raw emotions that came alight with your mistake of having one too many drinks. “You can’t just say that…” you muttered, turning away from him and looking out the closest window to you.
As he shook his head, he turned back to the stove and finished off the final touches to his stew. “By the way…” he began again after a comfortable silence settled. “Do you mind if we visit my work before heading to the markets?” he asked politely.
You hummed in response, looking forward to seeing everyone again despite being around them only a few hours prior.
Eventually, the both of you had made it out of the house hastily after finishing your first meal. Yebin took the liberty in dropping her son off at the daycare since she was well aware of your situation—she found out when she saw Jungwon folding the blanket he had slept with on the couch and took a fright to the unfamiliar sight.
Safe to say, it was an interesting way to wake up, and a fun night of interrogation would be determined in the near future against you.
Somehow, the crisp chill of the air refreshed your vitals, and despite it nipping at your skin, you basked in the brisk weather happily. Whilst you walked, Jungwon looked to his side and watched as your scarf slowly and unnoticeably slipped from your shoulder.
You were too engrossed in the fall foliage to notice the descent of your clothing, but the action of Jungwon fixing it up for you most definitely caught your attention. Looking up at him curiously, the concentration woven between his brows brought warmth in the chill of the weather before you. “Another conquest for the ‘woman you’re interested in’ perhaps?” you said teasingly, though a fond smile grew on your face.
A gleaming and contagious grin mirrored on Jungwon’s own, with a final tightening to your scarf to ensure no more breakage and micro adjustments, he spoke with finality. “Perhaps so.”
To hide the overwhelming feeling of love pooling in your heart, you stuffed your face in your scarf, the one Jungwon had just readjusted, and smiled freely beneath the covers. You shoved your hands in your coat pockets and marched ahead of him to deal with the consequences of accepting his love, and most importantly, your love for him.
Without a doubt, you were happy in this moment, but in the worst times are you reminded of your status in this world. This world that only left fleeting moments as your memories, and this too, will become a moment left behind in time.
Jungwon will pass on, and you will live with the regret of ever loving a person, stripping them of their ability to find and love another.
You hoped. You really hoped that this one could be your last. The one that stays. The one that will grow old as time passes. Where you grow old.
The ice in which you sealed your heart in began to melt and gave way for the entrance of Jungwon, much like the fall day upon you.
From behind, Jungwon latched himself onto your figure, caging you in a bear like hug.
With a selfish gleam and intention, you smiled up at him, planting a gentle kiss on his cheeks as you arrogantly believed in the hope of growing old with the man in front of you.
And as he squeezed you tight, that selfish ulterior motive couldn’t have been more apparent in the genuine smile you unleashed.
—
Detached. Detached was all you could use to describe how the feeling of being with a group splayed before you.
Somewhat out-worldly it felt watching the guys interact—laughter, banter, and brutal slander against each other. Though the massive smiles that stretched on each of their faces proved a bound of care and adoration they held within for each other.
And whilst you sat idly next to Jungwon, silently watching their interactions as they half-worked and half-talked, you couldn’t help but to feel regretful for all the other friendships and desires you opposed due to your circumstances, each tie you severed to save yourself only did more harm than good.
You replayed every memory, every person, every potential partner, and a wave of longing struck upon you. The only cause of breaking out of your thoughts was Jungwon leaning over and whispering in your ear. “I have a seperate office over there if you want to go somewhere private and alone.” he offered, eyebrows furrowed in concern.
At first you contemplated. You wanted to stay in this room with the others and bask in the feeling of friendship and sincerity, but that feeling was so overwhelming that you couldn’t enjoy a sliver of it.
So with a hestitant nod, you stepped over to Jungwon’s personal office, blocked off from the large square room that held the guys’ desks, and locked yourself inside.
His room was modestly decorated, a few art pieces hung up around the office. He even had a few bookshelves cascading upon his walls, a variety of books ranging from novels to lawful studies sat on display.
Upon closer inspection, a familiar maroon-purple book spine caught your attention. “Oh my god.” you whispered exasperated under your breath. In your grasp, was your favourite book. Your finger traced the words ‘Profound Feeling Of You’ delicately, then moved to open the book.
In your surprise, there lay a ripped page from a small notebook, the one that he kept in the inner pocket of his blazer, that had the schedule of his day from when the two of you first spoke. As you picked off the small paper, under it was a short piece of writing on the title page.
Tears formed in your eyes as you read the words in his handwriting. ‘Yang Jungwon!’ the first line stated. ‘Don’t get this ending with Ms. Baker! It’s wron inherently wrong!’ he wrote.
Flicking through the pages, you noticed that he had written on some lines, a small message to himself as thoughts he couldn’t contain were unleashed.
The part read— “And Jiangyi bore her eyes into Shenqi’s back, his figure disappeared into the abyss of the field “Shenqi!” she called. Was it her imagination, or did he pause in motion? “I love you!” she declared for a final time.
He did pause. And in his momentary hesitation, he turned to look at her, a broken look to his eyes as he smiled, a final farewell to his everlasting love. “Jiangyi.” he began. “Let me go.” he repeated the words he declared previously.
And Jiangyi cried. How could she let go, when all she’d ever done was hold on?”
You switched to the handwritten words on the side, an amused giggle leaving your lips. Jungwon had written, ‘Shenqi is not a real man’.
Shaking your head, you flicked to the last page, the last hoorah of the book. You hadn’t bothered reading the last few lines, the book practically memorised in your head after various break time readings.
Though, what Jungwon had written in accordance to his closing thoughts willed you to read it just once more. It read— “On her wedding, filled with the people she loved the most, her most beloved person she wished to stand before her, was absent in his wake. Hua Shenqi, that jerk of a man, should’ve been the one in front of her. A tear fell from her eye, and her soon-to-be husband smiled at her, though his figure practically merged into the background.
How could she convey the loss of a person who wasn’t even dead?”
Jungwon responded with his own take. ‘Ms. Baker was cruel to recommend this to me.’ he began. As you read, the words he had spoken to you displayed themselves on the paper. ‘A love story definitely, but… happy ending? No. Why did he give up? Why did she let him? Oh, good, I’ll bring these points up with her.’
You smiled at the memory, but he wasn’t finished. Eventually, he wrote below his previous, final words, and wrote a secondary conclusion in different ink. ‘Okay sure, Ms. L/N Y/N, maybe it was ‘unexplainably life-altering’, I’ll give you that!’
A blush blossomed on your cheeks as you settled the book down, slotting it back into its place on the shelf. Peering into his inner thoughts written on paper felt somewhat revealing, and you turned away from the shelves bashfully.
Who knew Yang Jungwon could pertain such petty thoughts?
—
Gratified. Gratified was all you could use to describe how it felt to have Jungwon’s persistence splayed before you.
Once again, you found yourself sitting idly on your stool as Jungwon greeted customers with a grand smile hooked upon his face, his dimples only emphasising his enjoyment of the situation as he took over your stall.
It seemed as of recent that as Jungwon had become more of a constant in your life, the days began to pass slowly, slower than ever before. You imagined it was some god having an ounce of mercy on you after prohibiting your life sentence from ending—though you knew eventually they’d have to stop toying with you at some point.
After a particularly tiring shift—what’s not tiring at this rate?—Jungwon turned to you with a long, dragged out sigh. His hands gripped the board behind him as he leaned his back against the front counter, forearms tensed as he squeezed the wood. He quirked a brow at your lethargic posture, a tilt to his head adding to the perplexity. “How long have you been staring at my back?” he queried.
You looked to him with a purse of your lips, before turning away to avert your gaze. “Only just now.” you murmured, the slightest pout to your lips. Your tone hadn’t held the confident flare it normally did, so Jungwon approached you carefully.
Once he was stood directly in front of you, he cupped your face in his hands and tilted your head up. “You’re lying.” he teased, that same flirtatious stretch to his lips encapsulated you for the nth time.
When you shook your head in disapproval, he squished your cheeks together with the palm of his hands. “Hmm… you’re weird.” he speculated. “Are you okay?”
You hesitantly nodded, but that same lack of assurance lingered. Jungwon knew something was up, but didn’t want to push your limits. With a firm smile, he leant down and pressed a kiss on your nose gently. “Let me know if you need anything, okay?” he whispered, hands moving to settle on your shoulders, giving them a light rub.
After quietly agreeing, he turned around once more to do all the dirty work you thrust upon him—he enjoyed doing the tasks you found physically taxing, which is why you found yourself sat on your stool rather than serving your customers.
How utterly tragic. Immediately as he turned, your enthusiasm couldn’t have been further down in the dirt.
He was a perfect man, this Yang Jungwon, so as you thought over the plan you contemplated whilst walking with him towards the markets—yes, another detailed, thought over, and arrogant plan—you felt guilty.
Not only were you planning to break off this situation despite it not having happened to its fullest potential, you weren’t going to explain it to him. Did you feel like a complete and utter jerk? Absolutely. But, after reading over the book again, your favourite, you had to reconsider your choices.
The book was your die-hard favourite for a reason, and it was because it reminded yourself of you. Sure, they weren’t destined to live eternally, but Shenqi had broken himself off from Jiangyi with no explanation. You didn’t even know why he broke it off, and you spent a precarious amount of your time trying to solve the mystery of his absence.
All conclusions led to, as you guessed, nothing.
It was ironic in a way. Jiangyi and yourself would never find out the reason for Shenqi leaving her, and Jungwon would never discover the truth to why you were soon to leave him. Cruel, is what it is.
Once more, Jungwon looked over his shoulder towards your direction, and hastily you plastered a reassuring smile on your face. In response he projected a tug to his lips that didn’t quite reach his eyes, before he turned to the front to tend to another incoming customer. Was he aware of the situation he would soon face? Was this intuition?
Soon, the working day come to an end, and the sun kissed the land gently on the horizon. Jungwon dusted his hands off after closing the stall for the night, then turned to you with a satisfied expression. “Let’s go?”
You nodded, and he draped an arm over your shoulders. You let it happen. After all, you most likely wouldn’t experience a thing like this again.
As the both of you walked, Jungwon had chatted your ear off about what catastrophes occurred after you had escaped to his office earlier in the day. Something about another bet between the guys, a brief haggle between Jake and Sunoo, though it was mostly Jake’s fault for teasing the poor man, and some other probably important, probably entertaining event that faded into the abyss of your fogged mind.
“Y/N?” Jungwon had repeated. When you blinked at him in surprise, Jungwon chuckled in amusement, crossed with disbelief. “Okay, something isn’t right here Ms.” he shook his head. “You’ve been zoning out more often than normal.”
You hummed. “Hmm? What do you mean?” you plead innocence. Maybe if you acted accordingly, he would breeze past. But Jungwon wasn’t that type of guy.
With a retrained sigh, he opened up about his worries carefully. “It’s just…” he pouted his lips in thought. “You’ve been acting off recently… I just want to know if you’re okay?” Jungwon turned his head to you, eyes sparkling radiantly as concern was etched into his features.
Why? Why did you have to fall for such a good man? A considerate one? Not an ounce of wrong was in his nerves, his blood. Perhaps the gods weren’t slowing down time in your favour, but rather as an entertaining show to watch as you slowly developed deeper feelings for Jungwon.
“I’m okay.” you nodded, attempting to have some semblance to a content expression, but your facade was practically transparent as Jungwon saw right through you.
“But, you’re not.” he replied firmly, eyebrows furrowing in concern.
Your lips twitched in an emotion alike to annoyance? Irritation? “Mr. Yang.” No longer did you use an endearing nickname, nor his first name. You wanted your intentions set straight. “I said I’m okay, can’t you accept that?” you argued.
In a twist of frustration, Jungwon’s eyebrows pinched impossibly closer together. “No, I can’t. I won’t.” he huffed. “Sure, we aren’t exclusively official, I’ll give you that, but come on Y/N, I’m inviting you to lean on me. I just want to be here for you.” he declared steadily, voice unwavering.
Hesitant. You were hesitant yet the next words that followed the bite of your lips could not be reversed. You should’ve contemplated a bit further, but then again, it had to go according to plan. “Exactly, we aren’t each other’s person.” you angrily retorted. “So stop acting like we’re closer than we are.”
If you had plunged a knife into his chest, twisted it, then pushed it in some more, the ache he would’ve experienced wouldn’t have compared to what you had just said. “I’m sorry?” he scoffed in exasperation.
At this point, Jungwon had stopped walking, urging you to follow suit.
“You heard me.” you rebutted, your stance unwavering as you further pushed this agenda.
Jungwon smirked. “Did last night mean nothing?” he tested the waters. He nimbly approached you, hand reaching to hover over your cheek, but not quite gracing it. “Were my lips that intertwined with yours so eagerly just a figment of my imagination?”
You noticeably gulped, and Jungwon didn’t miss it. Yet, you were quick to recover your resolve. “Mm.” you shrugged neutrally. “Wasn’t much to me.”
The love of your life, the one whose kisses you cherished so deeply, the one whose presence was something you looked forward to, had a flicker of realisation pass through his mind. And it showed in his eyes. His previously determined, somewhat cocky attitude, faded into one of betrayal and disbelief. “Y/N.” his voice trembled unsurely. “You don’t mean that, right?” his creased eyebrows eased as they upturned in a naive sort’ve flair.
“I meant it.” you declared. “I regret doing all of that with you.” Your hands dropped to your sides, feeling both the weight of a pressing issue lifted from your shoulders, but a large hound of hesitance, regret, and guilt piled onto your conscience, overthrowing the feeling of liberty that you relished in momentarily.
Jungwon shook his head in disbelief whilst pursing his lips. He grabbed for your hands, taking them in his own as he squeezed you tight. Almost instinctively, he knelt down on his knees, a plead to your presence. “Y/N.” he whispered. Not once in this whole debacle did he raise his voice, and now, he was the quietest he’d ever been. “I love you.” he declared, and he hoped it wasn’t for a final time.
You paused. And in your momentary hesitation, you looked down at Jungwon with a broken look to your eyes. This was it. You smiled, hopefully a final farewell to your fleeting—though it seemed as if it’d be everlasting—love. “Jungwon.” you began. “Let me go.” your smile lingered as your words held an underlying meaning that went beyond the physical touch between the two of you.
And Jungwon’s lip trembled. How could he let go, when he had only just been able to hold on?
—
Hopeless. Hopeless was all you could use to describe the repurcussions splayed before you.
When you arrived at your door earlier, a grinning Yebin awaited your arrival as she was ready to welcome you with her interrogation and greetings. Only, you were crying and her happiness was exchanged for concern. “Huh?! Honey, are you okay?” Her eyes were blown with despair, empathy swirling through her core at the sight of your teary eyes.
You explained everything. You didn’t need to hide it from her.
Had it been Jungwon’s fault, Yebin was ready to swing her fist straight to his face, but your reasoning for breaking it off urged her to slap you on the back, lovingly—at least that’s what she wanted to convey.
“Are you out of your mind? ‘It’s best for the both of us’” Yebin mocked your words in a ridiculing tone. “Best for the both of you, or best for him? Y/N you should think for yourself sometimes!” she reprimanded. You opened your mouth to retort, refute, anything to defend your case, but she wasn’t done lecturing you. “I’m not sure if this was even best for him? He loves you, why would he accept this choice?”
Your lip trembled as you thought over her words. “Yebin.” you began, voice shaky. “I’ve lost so many before him. Those? I willingly gave it up, but this one- this one I actually thought could break whatever curse laid upon me.” You shook your head, hands reaching to grab at Yebin’s. “Lord knows the willpower it took to deny him, but if I didn’t do it now, when would the time come? When could I tell him that I wanted to end things, and everything would be better? This was the only way!” Your voice raised as the emotions pressing down on your heart began to flow out.
Yebin clicked her tongue, less in an annoyed sense and more in a defeated one. “Did you have to break his heart so recklessly though? Your heart?” She shook her head. “Y/N, you love him too.”
With a nod of your head, you agreed whole-heartedly with her statement. “I do. I love him till the ends of the earth.” you sighed emptily. “Which is why I had to. Don’t you think if I let him off delicately, he’d just barge his way back in? Yang Jungwon is not an easy man to avoid. This is the only way he won’t come back to me, he still has dignity you know?”
The woman across from you scoffed in amusement. “If it were you he lost his dignity for, he would do it in an instant and a thousand times over. You’re severely underestimating him.”
You couldn’t deny that you held onto that hope. That maybe someday he’d come knocking on your door, begging for you to stay with him. If he did, you weren’t sure what you’d do—you knew that running back to him was inevitable if ever he appeared in front of you, so you supposed you did know what you’d do.
In the whole ordeal, regretfully, you closed down your stall. The one thing occupying your day. There were a few reasons to this. For one, you wanted to limit any close or face-to-face contact with Jungwon, two, winter was soon to come and the convenience was there, three you didn’t want to see Jungwon up close, and four, Yang Jungwon. So maybe your reasoning was obvious, but excuses or not, it was the best option.
However, you contradicted yourself on many occasions. Perhaps you found yourself trailing him when you saw him, watching from afar as you studied his work ethic, his interactions, and… how he was coping.
Overall, he seemed okay. At work, initially, he wasn’t completely there mentally, though through your viewings, the guys helped him out immensely. You were grateful that he had a circle of people around him to support and advance him through the day.
After a while, you started to feel strange for watching him. And eventually your viewings of him lessened, and you found yourself seeing him every once in a while, a look of longing settling on your features, before diverting your vision and ignoring the feeling.
And then it happened. News spread that a humble, handsome lawyer was soon to be wed with a wealthy, beautiful woman from a prestigious family. You ignored it at first, not much interest in the marriage of two people you were unfamiliar with, until Yujin had tapped your arm and shoved a newspaper in your face.
“Noona! Look!” he pointed at one of the sections on the newspaper. The name Yang Jungwon alongside another woman’s name and the words ‘to be wed’ highlighted gave an inherent shock to your body as soon as you glazed over it.
Your eyes skimmed the paper and the details to his wedding were outlined at the end of the announcement block.
Safe to say, you found yourself entering a new event on your calendar.
—
Apathetic. Apathetic was all Jungwon could use to describe the wedding ceremony splayed before him.
Correction, his wedding ceremony.
The woman he were to be wed to was an arranged marriage that his parents had set up. The two of then hadn’t even gotten to know each other before the ceremony was settled.
So much for having the freedom of choosing.
He sighed heavily, clad in a brown suit, darker than the one he had first met you in. What a joke, he was still thinking about you even on the supposed ‘most important day of his life’. How could he not? He only wished for you to be on the receiving end of this marital contract, to watch you walk down the aisle, to slide the ring on your finger, to kiss you at the end when you complete your ‘I do’s’.
But that dream wasn’t a reality. It never would be.
As he awaited his soon to be wife at the end of the aisle, he bore his eyes into the shut double doors at the end of the church. Then she emerged, a stunning dress complimented her perfect figure. She was definitely beautiful, but she couldn’t live up to you. If this woman was perfect, you were out-worldly.
Jungwon had zoned out when she finally approached. Her father handed her off to him, and he gave a tight smile and a curt nod.
The ceremony was a blur. On his wedding, filled with the people he loved most—amongst other visitors who came just to witness a marriage—the most beloved person he wished to stand before him, was absent in her wake. L/N Y/N, that dream of a woman, should’ve been the one in front of him. A tear fell from his eye, and his soon-to-be wife smiled at him, though her figure practically merged into the background.
How could he convey the loss of a person who wasn’t even dead?
—
EPILOGUE
Paralysed. Paralysed was all you could use to describe how you felt upon witnessing the wedding ceremony splayed before you.
You had arrived in a modest yet secretive disguise, not wanting to be seen, or worse, recognised by Jungwon or presumably any of his friends that were a part of this ceremony.
You watched as she gracefully walked down the aisle, her wedding dress flowing behind her in a manner only reminiscent of an angelic presence.
Time seemed to slow down again as the painstakingly heart wrenching view of your first love interlinking in a binding love contract registered in your brain. And as he gave her a peck after their ‘I do’s’ you couldn’t help the flow of tears that left your eyes.
Many others around you had begun crying too, but for the reason of two people connecting as one, yet this very reasoning was what made you cry in a different sense.
People stood in applause, and you took this opportunity to briskly escape the church, a sob wracking through your body as you slipped out unnoticed.
It was only when you arrived home and looked to the dining table, your world paused briefly. There, sat on top of a few other pieces of mail, was a letter addressed to you. The handwriting looked undeniably like his, but you didn’t get your hopes up. After all, you just watched as he was married off to another woman.
Though, as you ripped open the letter, your presumptions were proven wrong.
Dear My Love, Ms. Baker, The Most Beautiful Girl in the World, Y/N,
It’s odd to think I’m writing you a letter.
I contemplated on so many occasions on whether or not I should come to see you, attempt to mend our relationship in some way. But the time never came.
I’ll give it to you Ms. L/N, you effectively stomped on my heart and walked off, but I don’t hate you. In fact I’m not even surprised that I still love you.
I’m getting married today.
It wasn’t my choice.
If it was, I’d have you in front of me with that beautiful smile of yours. Aren’t I the worst for thinking about you despite my engagement? My marriage?
Y/N. I have so many questions to ask you. But I’ll withhold from mentioning them, I wouldn’t want to burden you further with the looming questions in my mind. Though, I wonder if we can meet once more, perhaps in another life, where things will be different, and I can safely call you mine, hold you in my arms, and never ever let you go.
I read over the book once more—just to feel some connection with you—and I could only laugh at how our story seemed to align with theirs. Would you be Shenqi?
I’ll say this once more, as this’ll be my first and last letter to you. I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you.
I don’t think I could truly love anyone as much as I loved you.
I miss you Y/N, and I hope to see you again, in our next life.
Sincerely, Mr. Crust.
ENDING NOTES: and that’s a wrap for Sincerely Mr Crust! im aware of how fast and rushed the ending was, but ill be honest i just wanted this over and done with LOL. i hope you enjoyed my story, and hopefully there’ll be more to come!! maybe some shorter stories bc obviously writing these stories are not my forte timing wise 😭😭 i hope to see you again next time <3
SYPNOSIS : in which… being a trainee under hybe obviously was not fun. It made your life miserable for a long time. You thought that when the time to debut finally came, things would get better. But when you see who you were to debut with, things get even worse.
CORTIS 6TH MEMBER AU
warnings : happy ending😛 ALSO PLS TELL ME IF U CAUGHT JUHOONS BACON REFERENCE THATS MY FAVOURITE MEME
01 | 02 | 03 | 04
series mlist
after everything that happened that day, something inside you shut down again.
it felt humiliating honestly. you had spent months slowly opening up around the others without even realizing it, only for everything to blow up in your face in the worst possible way. after that night, you stopped trying completely.
you went back to how you used to be when you first entered the dorm.
you stopped sitting in the living room during movie nights. you stopped eating meals with everyone else unless absolutely necessary. you stopped hanging around after practice and immediately disappeared into your room the second schedules ended.
everyone noticed.
especially james.
the first few days, they all kept trying anyway.
martin awkwardly asked if you wanted food while ordering takeout one night and you walked straight past him like he didn’t even speak.
keonho tried asking if you needed help practicing choreography and you ignored him completely.
even seonghyeon tried talking to you multiple times, but the second he approached you during practice breaks, you would immediately walk away before he could even open his mouth properly.
james had it the worst.
because unlike the others, he knew exactly how much you cried when you were hurt, but you didn’t know he knew.
he kept following you around at first, trying to get you to answer him.
“y/n.”
silence.
“okay you can ignore everyone else but at least listen to me.”
nothing.
“you’re seriously not gonna say anything? I didn’t even do anything.”
you kept walking.
eventually even he gave up trying to force conversation.
juhoon asked a few times too, though in his own weird awkward way.
one night while you were digging through the fridge at two in the morning, he looked over from the couch and muttered, “you’re getting bad again.”
you didn’t even glance at him. you didn’t even know why he was awake at that hour.
another time he tossed a blanket at you after you fell asleep at the kitchen table and quietly said, “you’re being dramatic.”
still, you ignored him too.
the worst part was how guilty the others looked now.
especially martin, seonghyeon, and keonho.
they started leaving random snacks on top of your bedside drawer almost every day. drinks you liked. convenience store candy. those stupid little pastries you always bought after practice.
every single time you saw them, you grabbed everything without hesitation and dumped it straight into the kitchen trash.
sometimes they watched you do it but you didn’t care. or at least you tried convincing yourself you didn’t.
honestly, being back at square one felt horrible.
because now you knew what things could’ve been like if everything didn’t get ruined and somehow that made everything hurt even more.
right now it was almost three in the morning, and you were sitting alone at the park near the hybe building with your hood pulled over your head.
the city was quiet.
cold air brushed against your face while your legs curled slightly against the bench. your cheeks felt freezing from the tears you kept wiping away with your sleeves.
you hated crying.
especially over this.
you stared blankly at the ground while picking at your cuticles hard enough to hurt.
then suddenly someone sat down beside you.
“i knew i’d find you here.”
you looked up immediately.
james.
of course.
for a second you almost stood up and walked away immediately, but honestly you were too tired.
you looked back down again instead. “how did you know i’d be here?”
his voice stayed quiet. “you know how i disappear every night and come back late?”
you nodded slightly.
“this is where i come.” he shrugged while looking out toward the empty park. “it’s peaceful.”
you frowned immediately.
“i come here all the time too.” you muttered suspiciously. “i’ve literally never seen you here.”
silence.
then james quietly said, “yeah you have.”
you slowly looked at him again, confused.
your brain immediately started trying to remember every single time you’d come here alone.
there was always one other person.
that guy sitting on the bench across the park with his hood up.
the one who always sat there a few feet away while you cried to your old members about how miserable you were.
the one who somehow always appeared whenever you broke down.
realization hit so hard it genuinely made your stomach twist.
“what the fuck.”
james looked away immediately.
“that was you?” your voice filled with disbelief instantly. “you were listening to all that?”
“not intentionally.”
“oh my god.” you stood up immediately while wiping angrily at your face. “what is wrong with you people? seriously. does nobody here understand privacy?”
“y/n.”
“first the diary and now this?” your voice started shaking again. “were you all secretly spying on me this entire time or what?”
you turned to leave but james quickly grabbed your wrist before you could walk away.
“wait.”
“don’t touch me.”
“just listen first.”
you tried pulling away. “why would i wanna listen to you right now?”
“because i’m trying to explain.”
you stared at him angrily while he slowly let go of your wrist.
for a second neither of you spoke.
then james sighed quietly before leaning back against the bench again.
“after trainee a ended, i stopped trusting people properly.”
your expression shifted slightly.
his voice sounded weirdly calm now.
“everybody got attached to each other and then everything just disappeared overnight.” he looked down at his hands. “i hated it.”
you stayed standing there silently.
“so when i got here and realized we were all probably debuting together, i just…” he shrugged weakly. “i didn’t wanna get attached again if everything was gonna fall apart.”
you frowned slightly.
“it wasn’t because you’re a girl or because i hated you personally.” he said quietly. “i was just being careful.”
for some reason that made your anger weaken slightly.
“then why’d you suddenly start acting normal?” you muttered while sitting back down reluctantly.
“because now i know debut’s actually happening.”
you blinked at him. “how?”
“i searched around.” he shrugged. “apparently once a debut is less than five months away, companies usually can’t cancel it or randomly drop members anymore unless something huge happens.”
you stared at him silently.
five months.
that was it.
you were actually debuting. with cortis. with all of them. there genuinely was no going back anymore.
the realization felt terrifying.
james glanced at you carefully before speaking again. “you should let them talk to you.”
you immediately looked annoyed again. “seriously?”
“i’m not saying forgive them immediately.” he said quickly. “but you guys are gonna be together for years probably. living together while hating each other like this is gonna destroy everybody.”
you stayed quiet.
“they know they messed up.” he continued softly. “especially seonghyeon.”
you scoffed quietly.
“just let them apologize at least.” james sighed. “everything would be easier.”
you thought about it for a long moment while staring down at your hands.
honestly, you were exhausted.
exhausted from being angry. exhausted from avoiding everybody constantly. exhausted from feeling miserable all the time.
eventually you let out a defeated sigh.
“whatever.” you muttered quietly while standing up. “let’s just go back before it gets too late and they freak out again.”
james immediately grinned slightly while standing too. “you mean too early.”
you paused halfway through walking. “huh?”
“because last time we stayed out so long that by the time we got back it was morning so technically it was too early and-”
he stopped talking once he saw your exhausted expression.
“…nevermind.”
you rolled your eyes while continuing toward the dorm.
when you both finally got back, the apartment was completely dark except for the kitchen light.
you quietly walked into your room expecting juhoon to be asleep already.
instead he was sitting upright on his bed staring directly at both of you.
all three of you got startled at the same time.
“jesus christ.” you muttered while clutching your chest.
juhoon looked deeply offended somehow. “could you two stop leaving me out? we’re supposed to be roommates.”
you stared at him blankly.
“why are you awake.”
“because.” he crossed his arms dramatically. “i felt your presence missing from the room.”
you frowned slowly.
james immediately snorted beside you.
you genuinely felt too exhausted to process whatever weird mood juhoon was in right now.
this was probably the most chalant he had ever acted around you in all the months you’d known him. somehow, despite the annoying delivery, you understood what he was trying to say.
this was his weird way of officially accepting you as his friend.
which honestly felt very on brand for him.
you sighed tiredly before climbing into bed.
“whatever, juhoon.”
you buried your face into your pillow while james quietly laughed from across the room.
for the first time in days, the room didn’t feel painfully tense anymore.
the next morning, you woke up staring blankly at the ceiling while the sound of yelling echoed from the kitchen.
plates clinked loudly against the counter while multiple voices talked over each other nonstop.
you sighed heavily while rubbing your face.
your entire body still felt tired from everything lately, but at least your chest didn’t feel as painfully heavy as before. honestly, after talking to james last night, avoiding everyone suddenly felt exhausting instead of comforting.
still awkward though.
you stayed laying there for another minute debating if it was even worth going out there.
then your stomach growled.
unfortunately, food won.
you dragged yourself out of bed slowly and walked toward the kitchen with half open eyes, still looking barely alive. your face felt puffy from sleep and your hoodie sleeves covered most of your hands while you yawned loudly.
the second you stepped into the kitchen, the smell hit you immediately.
burnt eggs.
really burnt eggs.
you blinked slowly at the pan sitting on the stove before grabbing one suspiciously with your fork.
it looked genuinely concerning.
“who made these?” you asked flatly.
“martin.” multiple people answered immediately.
you stared at the eggs again before quietly putting them back down.
absolutely not.
you looked around the table for something edible instead, but the second your eyes landed on the bacon and sausages, your mood instantly worsened.
or at least what was left of them.
which was basically nothing.
the others still hadn’t fully noticed you standing there because they were too busy arguing over something stupid involving juice and expired milk.
then you noticed the only empty seat left right beside seonghyeon.
well, fuck.
you stood there for a second contemplating if starving would actually be easier.
eventually you sighed internally and walked over anyway before sitting down beside him.
the second you did, the entire table went silent.
it wasn’t the uncomfortable type though. it felt more like everybody collectively stopped breathing at the same time because they were scared to ruin the moment.
james barely reacted at all except for the tiny glance he sent you from across the table.
juhoon kept eating cereal like absolutely nothing important was happening.
you ignored all of them completely while looking down at seonghyeon’s plate.
your eyes narrowed immediately.
this idiot had practically all the remaining bacon and sausages piled onto his plate.
you slowly looked at him.
he immediately noticed.
“…what.”
without saying anything, you reached over, grabbed almost all the bacon and sausages from his plate, and dumped them directly onto yours.
seonghyeon stared in disbelief. “hey that’s-”
you cut him off instantly with one glare.
he shut up immediately.
the silence somehow became even more awkward.
martin looked seconds away from laughing. keonho stared at the table trying not to react. james lowered his head slightly like he was hiding a smile.
then suddenly juhoon spoke out of nowhere. “bacon bacon bacon.”
everyone looked at him.
you frowned immediately. “juhoon, what?”
“seriously what does that even mean?” martin groaned.
“he’s lost it.” keonho muttered.
juhoon kept eating cereal calmly like none of you understood his genius. “i’m just ahead of my time.”
“okay you say that every time you say something stupid though.” martin replied immediately.
“you just dont get me”
“we dont want to get you.”
you shook your head tiredly while taking another bite of food. “whatever that means.”
seonghyeon kept glancing at you every few seconds like he expected you to disappear again if he looked away too long. eventually you noticed and sighed dramatically before shoving one piece of bacon back onto his plate.
“there.” you muttered. “before you start crying.”
“oh my god.” martin whispered.
“shut up.” you and seonghyeon both said at the exact same time.
james immediately started laughing.
the tension around the table loosened almost instantly afterward.
conversation slowly started again, though everyone still seemed weirdly careful around you like they were scared one wrong sentence would send you running away again.
to be fair, you couldn’t really blame them.
once you finished eating, you stood up and carried your plate toward the sink while everyone continued talking behind you.
you rinsed it quickly before walking over to the living room and dropping onto the couch.
the dorm still felt warm from all the noise and movement around you.
you grabbed the remote and turned on netflix while pretending not to notice the way multiple people were subtly looking at you from the kitchen.
after a few minutes, you heard footsteps approaching before the couch suddenly dipped beside you.
without looking over, you already knew it was seonghyeon.
he sat there awkwardly for a second before quietly speaking.
“…sorry.”
you kept staring at the netflix screen silently.
he sighed softly. “i know saying sorry doesn’t fix anything. i just…” he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “i genuinely didn’t realize how bad things got for you.”
you stayed quiet for a moment.
then finally muttered, “you guys suck at communicating.”
he laughed quietly under his breath. “i know.”
“like really badly.”
“i know.”
you finally glanced at him briefly. “if anyone touches my stuff again i’m actually setting this dorm on fire.”
“i know.”
then, after a second, he carefully pushed a small unopened chocolate milk toward you.
“…friends?”
you stared at it suspiciously, then grabbed it anyway. “coworkers.” you corrected him.
from the kitchen, martin whispered dramatically to keonho, “we are so back.”
“can you shut up? we still haven’t apologised.” keonho groaned.
“wait fuck i forgot.”
you rolled your eyes while opening netflix properly.
you sat quietly on the balcony while the sun slowly disappeared behind the buildings.
the city looked pretty from up there. warm orange light reflected off the windows of nearby apartments while the sky slowly darkened into soft shades of pink and purple. cars moved below like tiny lights, distant conversations echoed from the street, and for the first time in a while, your head actually felt quiet.
everything had changed so quickly these past few weeks that it almost made you dizzy thinking about it.
a month ago you were convinced you’d never survive living in this dorm.
but now things were…okay.
you leaned back further in the chair while staring at the sunset silently, pulling your hoodie sleeves over your hands absentmindedly.
then suddenly you heard muffled arguing through the glass door behind you.
you frowned immediately before turning around.
martin and keonho were standing right outside the balcony door looking painfully awkward.
both of them froze the second they realized you noticed them.
martin immediately pointed at keonho. “you open it.”
“why me?” keonho whispered aggressively.
“because she likes you more.”
“she literally does not.”
“okay but she definitely likes you more than me.”
“can’t you just open it? you’re the leader!”
you stared at them blankly through the glass for a few seconds before rolling your eyes.
idiots.
you stood up and slid the balcony door open yourself before immediately walking back to your chair without saying anything.
both of them looked weirdly relieved.
they stepped outside awkwardly before hesitating again once they realized there was only one empty chair left.
martin immediately sat down, so now keonho just awkwardly stood there near the railing while shoving his hands into the pockets of his hoodie.
for a few seconds nobody spoke.
the silence wasn’t bad though, just awkward.
eventually martin cleared his throat dramatically. “so.”
you glanced at him. “so.”
“…we suck.”
you nodded.
keonho sighed heavily while leaning against the railing. “he’s trying to apologize but he practiced this speech in the mirror for twenty minutes and now he forgot everything.”
martin ignored him before looking back at you again, expression unusually serious now. “we genuinely didn’t realize things got that bad.”
you looked down quietly at your hands.
he continued softly, “that’s not an excuse by the way. we still acted horribly. i just…” he sighed. “i think all of us got too caught up in stress and stupid competition stuff.”
“and being idiots.” keonho added immediately.
“yeah.” martin nodded. “that too.”
you stayed quiet for a moment before finally speaking honestly. “it felt personal.”
both of them immediately looked guilty.
“like genuinely personal.” your voice stayed calm now, but quieter. “because no matter what i did, it always felt like you guys already decided you didn’t like me.”
keonho frowned slightly. “it wasn’t because of you being a girl.”
“i know that now.”
“then what was it?” you finally asked while looking directly at them. “because i seriously never understood what i did wrong.”
martin leaned back in his chair with a tired sigh. “i think everyone was just scared.”
you blinked slightly.
“the debut got more serious.” he explained quietly. “suddenly everything felt real. we all started overthinking everything. rankings, popularity, who fit the group best.” he laughed bitterly. “you came in and immediately fit perfectly.”
you stared at him silently.
“and instead of acting normal about it, everybody got weird.” he admitted. “especially because the company clearly liked you.”
keonho rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “plus we already knew each other before you joined. not super close, but enough that it was easier sticking together.”
“which left me by myself.”
neither of them denied it.
martin looked genuinely ashamed now. “yeah.”
silence settled over the balcony again.
this time it felt heavier.
“you know what the worst part was?” you finally asked quietly. “i actually kept trying to convince myself i was imagining things.”
keonho frowned immediately.
“because every time i thought maybe you guys hated me, i’d tell myself i was being dramatic.” you laughed softly without humor. “then i’d walk into the kitchen and everyone would suddenly go quiet.”
martin looked like he wanted to disappear.
“i started memorizing everyone’s schedules because i got tired of feeling unwanted all the time.” you admitted quietly. “that’s embarrassing.”
“it’s not embarrassing.” keonho said immediately.
you shrugged weakly.
before anyone could speak again, the balcony door suddenly opened behind you.
all three of you turned around.
seonghyeon stood there awkwardly holding two cans of soda in one hand.
he looked nervous immediately once he realized the conversation had already gotten serious.
“am i interrupting?”
“yes.” martin answered instantly.
“ignore him.” keonho sighed.
seonghyeon hesitated for a second before stepping outside anyway. he quietly handed one of the sodas to you before awkwardly sitting on the floor since all the chairs were taken.
the four of you sat there in silence for a few moments while the sky continued getting darker.
then finally seonghyeon spoke quietly.
“i’m really sorry.”
you looked at him. he looked exhausted.
“not just about the diary.” he continued slowly. “about everything.”
his voice sounded genuine enough that it made your chest hurt slightly.
“i honestly didn’t realize how bad things got until i read that page.” he admitted quietly while staring down at the soda can in his hands. “which makes me sound horrible because obviously i should’ve realized before that.”
nobody interrupted him.
“but reading that…” he swallowed slightly. “it genuinely made me feel sick.”
you stayed quiet.
“because while you were sitting there feeling miserable, i thought we were all just being awkward around each other.” he laughed bitterly. “i didn’t realize you were hurting that badly.”
“you still shouldn’t have read it.”
“i know.”
“that was seriously messed up.”
“i know.” he repeated quietly.
for once, nobody tried defending themselves. nobody made excuses. they just listened.
and honestly, that mattered more than you expected.
the conversation kept going after that.
martin admitted he sometimes got defensive and competitive without realizing it. keonho admitted he usually copied the mood around him instead of thinking for himself. seonghyeon admitted he avoided difficult conversations so much that problems just kept growing worse instead.
you admitted things too.
that you isolated yourself too quickly. that you struggled trusting people. that you bottled everything up until it exploded all at once.
at some point the conversation stopped feeling tense entirely.
martin eventually started making stupid jokes again halfway through the conversation, which somehow made everything feel more normal.
keonho complained about his legs hurting from standing so long.
seonghyeon quietly stole your soda at one point and immediately got yelled at for it.
and somewhere during all of that, you realized your chest didn’t feel heavy anymore.
you looked around at the three idiots sitting around you while the city lights flickered below the balcony and for the first time since joining the company, you were actually happy with how things were.
one month before debut, life became actual insanity.
every single day blurred together into practice rooms, vocal lessons, camera tests, interviews, dance rehearsals, recording sessions, fittings, meetings. sometimes you woke up genuinely confused about what day it was because everything felt exactly the same.
everyone looked exhausted all the time.
james kept falling asleep in random places whenever he sat still longer than five minutes. martin became even louder somehow because apparently sleep deprivation made him incapable of using an indoor voice. seonghyeon looked permanently annoyed at existence. juhoon started drinking enough iced americanos to concern everybody. and keonho had developed the terrifying ability to sleep sitting upright in vans between schedules.
you weren’t much better.
you had started forgetting entire conversations halfway through them because your brain constantly felt fried. there were days where your legs hurt so badly after practice that you had to drag yourself into bed.
your manager eventually started looking concerned.
especially because half of you looked seconds away from collapsing during rehearsals.
so after almost three straight hours of dramatic begging from all six of you, your manager finally sighed and gave in.
“fine.” he rubbed his forehead tiredly while staring at everybody. “one day off.”
the room immediately exploded.
martin screamed loud enough to scare the staff outside.
keonho literally dropped to his knees dramatically.
james looked close to tears.
“but only because y/n won’t stop pulling the ‘i’m fifteen’ card every ten minutes.” your manager pointed accusingly at you.
you gasped dramatically. “that’s discrimination against minors.”
“go away.”
“thank you dad.”
“i’m not your dad.”
“thank god for that.”
after that, everybody somehow became even more unbearable from excitement.
honestly though, things had been going unbelievably well lately.
you genuinely loved these idiots now.
somewhere along the way, the dorm stopped feeling temporary.
it actually felt like home.
you trusted them completely now, which still felt insane considering how things started between all of you. sometimes you’d randomly think back to those first few months and physically cringe from how awkward and miserable everything used to be.
now you couldn’t imagine life without them.
you all acted like siblings at this point.
especially after allday project debuted successfully a month before cortis.
everybody had been nervous about how the public would react to another co-ed group, but people loved them almost immediately. suddenly everybody online started talking about how refreshing co-ed groups were again.
then cortis got officially announced.
and the internet completely lost its mind.
clips from your auditions leaked somehow. people started digging up old trainee videos. fan accounts appeared overnight. there were literally compilation videos of james breathing already.
“this is terrifying.” juhoon muttered one night while staring at twitter.
“someone edited sparkles around my face.” martin sighed.
“someone edited you into shrek.” keonho replied immediately.
“what”
you honestly tried not thinking too hard about debut itself because every time you did, your stomach twisted violently.
it was too huge.
right now though, none of that mattered because for once, all of you were finally asleep without alarms set for early schedules.
which should’ve been peaceful.
except it absolutely wasn’t.
you were deep asleep under your blanket when suddenly freezing cold water hit your entire body.
you screamed so loudly your own throat hurt while violently sitting upright.
“what the fuck?!”
there stood keonho holding an empty water bottle while smiling proudly like he’d just accomplished something life changing.
across the room, martin dumped another bottle of water directly onto james while seonghyeon absolutely drenched juhoon with a huge black plastic bucket. you honestly felt bad for him.
the entire dorm immediately erupted into chaos.
“you actual psychopaths!” james shouted while trying to shield himself with his blanket.
“you’re the definition of a bitch!” juhoon yelled.
martin was laughing so hard he could barely breathe while seonghyeon nearly fell over trying to escape juhoon throwing wet pillows at him.
meanwhile you were still sitting there soaked in freezing water while your brain slowly processed what just happened.
“you guys are actually so fucking…” you looked down at yourself mid sentence before freezing.
your soaked white shirt had become completely see through.
you stared at keonho in disbelief.
“…i’m wearing a fucking white shirt, you perv!”
keonho’s smile disappeared instantly.
“what?!” he immediately screamed while violently covering his eyes with one hand and turning away. “i didn’t know!”
“you’re disgusting!”
“i literally can’t see anything right now!”
martin collapsed onto the floor laughing.
james looked over, immediately choked on air, then aggressively shoved seonghyeon toward the door. “everybody out!”
“i didn’t even look!” seonghyeon defended himself immediately.
“sure.”
you groaned loudly before standing up while wrapping your blanket tightly around yourself.
“i can’t even enjoy my damn…” you walked past keonho before harshly kicking the back of his knee hard enough to make him nearly collapse.
“ow?!”
“…mornings anymore.” you finished grumbling while dragging yourself toward the bathroom.
halfway there, you suddenly stopped.
“…i forgot clothes.”
you stared blankly at the wall for a second before sighing dramatically and dragging yourself back toward your room.
the chaos somehow got worse in the thirty seconds you were gone.
james and juhoon were both yelling at martin and seonghyeon while soaking wet pillows flew across the room. meanwhile keonho had apparently recovered enough to start filming everything on his phone while laughing.
“this is evidence for future documentaries.” he announced loudly.
“delete that before i kill you.” juhoon snapped.
you shoved keonho hard while walking past him again.
“ow?! why twice?!”
“because you deserve it.”
you shot him another glare before opening your closet.
your closet.
honestly, the sight still made something warm settle in your chest sometimes.
a few months ago, all your stuff stayed packed inside your suitcase because part of you genuinely believed you wouldn’t last here long enough to unpack properly.
now your clothes hung messily beside the others’. your skincare sat scattered across the desk beside juhoon’s stupid protein powders. random hoodies belonging to james somehow kept ending up on your chair. your shoes cluttered the floor beside everyone else’s.
you had even gone back to your old trainee dorm weeks ago to grab the rest of your belongings.
the stuff you purposely left behind because you thought there was no point bringing them here if you probably wouldn’t debut anyway.
but you were debuting.
with them.
the realization still hit you randomly sometimes.
you grabbed a dry shirt before pausing when you noticed something sitting on the top shelf of your closet.
your pink diary.
for a second you just stared at it quietly.
then behind you, james suddenly spoke while still aggressively fighting seonghyeon for the water bottle.
“why are you staring into your closet like that.”
you immediately rolled your eyes. “shut up.”
“she’s having an emotional moment.” martin gasped dramatically from the floor.
“i hate all of you.”
“no you don’t.” keonho grinned.
you sighed quietly while closing the closet door.
annoyingly enough, he was right. You wished he wasnt though.
SYPNOSIS : in which… being a trainee under hybe obviously was not fun. It made your life miserable for a long time. You thought that when the time to debut finally came, things would get better. But when you see who you were to debut with, things get even worse.
CORTIS 6TH MEMBER AU
warnings: things get better before they get WORSE, crying, y/n crashes out really badly in the end and might appear kind of harsh
01 | 02 | 03 | 04
series mlist
cortis had been working nonstop for weeks.
practice after practice, evaluations after evaluations, recordings, dance rehearsals, vocal lessons. everyone looked exhausted lately. even seonghyeon stopped making comments as often because he looked too dead to even bother.
so when the company suddenly announced that friday and the weekend were completely free, the practice room exploded instantly.
tarzzan would’ve probably fit right into this group with how loud everyone got.
keonho literally jumped up yelling while martin almost collapsed dramatically onto the floor from relief. juhoon looked half asleep but still visibly happy, and even james looked surprised for a second before quietly smiling to himself.
you felt happy too, but unlike them, you couldn’t express it openly. you couldn’t scream with them. couldn’t high five them. couldn’t celebrate with them like normal teammates would, because things still weren’t normal between you.
so while everyone else kept loudly talking over each other about what they wanted to do during the break, you quietly grabbed your bag and left the practice room first.
the second you got back to the dorm, you practically threw yourself onto your bed and immediately grabbed your phone.
you: THEY GAVE US THREE DAYS OFF
the groupchat exploded so fast it almost lagged your phone.
annie: OH MY GODDDD
tarzzan: WE GOT THE WHOLE WEEK OFF
bailey: finally
youngseo: wait that means
woochan: you can actually hang out with us
annie: FOR THREE DAYS
your eyes widened immediately. three whole days. three entire days with them.
your chest filled with excitement so quickly that you actually squealed loudly into your pillow, kicking your legs slightly against the mattress with a huge grin spreading across your face.
for the first time in what felt like forever, you genuinely felt happy.
and of course, that was the exact moment james walked into the room.
you froze instantly.
james stopped mid step and visibly did a double take at you. his eyebrows furrowed slightly in confusion while staring at your face.
you kinda understood why. he had literally never seen you smile before. he’d seen annoyed expressions, exhausted expressions, blank expressions, watery eyes, angry stares, but never a real smile showing teeth.
the second you noticed him staring, your expression immediately dropped back into annoyance out of pure instinct.
james looked away awkwardly after a second and quietly placed his phone down on his bed.
the happiness still lingered inside your chest though. you wereso happy that something strange suddenly happened.
you felt hungry for the first time in over a month. your stomach twisted slightly as you suddenly started craving spicy ramen so badly it almost hurt.
without even thinking too hard about it, you got up from the bed and headed toward the kitchen.
the moment you walked in, every conversation stopped immediately, like always.
all four of them sat around the table eating together while talking loudly over one another.
keonho and martin were arguing about some game. juhoon looked seconds away from passing out face first into his food. seonghyeon was laughing at something on his phone.
but the second you entered, silence completely swallowed the room. you ignored it. you were too happy today to care properly.
quietly, you walked toward the cabinet and grabbed one of the spicy ramen cups you bought yourself weeks ago.
honestly, you were surprised nobody ate it already, but then again, maybe they avoided touching your stuff entirely.
the thought annoyed you slightly.
you poured hot water into the cup before placing it into the microwave for seven minutes.
then you leaned back against the counter and scrolled through your phone while waiting.
the silence in the kitchen felt almost aggressive. nobody spoke. nobody laughed anymore. you could physically feel them glancing at you occasionally before quickly looking away again.
you kept pretending not to notice.
a few minutes later, james quietly walked into the kitchen too.
you looked up automatically, while he didn’t even glance at the others. he just started preparing his own food silently beside the counter.
your brows furrowed slightly, because it felt weird. nobody willingly stayed close to you anymore. usually people grabbed what they needed and immediately left, but james stayed there quietly beside you like it was normal.
you glanced at him once, confused and slightly suspicious, but he just kept doing his own thing without looking at you.
eventually, the microwave beeped.
you grabbed your ramen quickly, mixed the seasoning in, then immediately escaped toward the balcony before the awkwardness inside the kitchen swallowed you whole again.
cold air hit your face softly once you stepped outside.
instantly better.
you sat down in your usual chair and started eating while scrolling through the endless reels annie and tarzzan spammed you with.
most of them were stupid.
you were so distracted that the balcony door suddenly sliding open startled you badly.
you looked up immediately.
james walked outside casually holding his own ramen cup. he closed the balcony door with his foot before walking over and sitting in the only other chair across from you like this happened every day.
you paused mid chew. inside the dorm, you could literally see the others staring through the glass with confused expressions.
especially martin.
“…why are you here?” you finally asked after a long silence.
james blew on his ramen calmly before answering. “the balcony isn’t just yours.”
you stared at him.
it kinda was.
nobody else really came out here. it became some weird unspoken rule over time that the balcony belonged to you while everyone else occupied the rest of the dorm.
“…okay,” you muttered awkwardly before going back to eating.
silence settled again. but weirdly enough, it wasn’t uncomfortable.
james quietly scrolled through his phone while eating. you did the same.
after a while, james suddenly spoke again without looking up. “i can leave if you want.” your heart immediately dropped.
please don’t.
the thought appeared so suddenly it startled you. you didn’t even fully understand why you didn’t want him to leave.
maybe because eating beside somebody again felt comforting after spending weeks isolated. maybe because for once, someone was willingly sitting beside you without glaring or sighing or acting disgusted. maybe because the silence between you and james felt peaceful instead of cruel.
whatever the reason was, you suddenly realized you really didn’t want to be alone again right now.
but your silence lasted slightly too long and james misunderstood immediately. he nodded faintly to himself before quietly standing up with his ramen cup. “okay.”
panic rushed through you instantly. “please stay.” the words came out quickly.
james paused. he looked down at you, slightly surprised. your expression probably looked pathetic honestly. pleading eyes, tense shoulders, hands gripping your phone tightly.
after a second, he quietly sat back down again causing you immediately relaxed.
neither of you acknowledged it afterward. you just went back to scrolling through your phones quietly while eating together.
once you finished eating, you stood up slowly while holding the empty cup.
your eyes flickered toward james’s ramen, which was empty too. yet he was still sitting there. your brows furrowed slightly.
was he waiting for you to go inside first so you wouldn’t have to stay alone outside?
the realization made something weird twist inside your chest. you quietly stepped back into the dorm. immediately, all the others looked at you, then at james.
their expressions looked completely confused.
you ignored them like always and simply walked toward the trash to throw your ramen cup away.
but for the first time since moving into this dorm, something felt slightly different.
it was one am and you were finally sure that everyone was asleep. you quietly stepped out of your room, carefully pulling the door shut behind you so juhoon wouldn’t wake up. the dorm was dark and silent except for the faint sound of the air conditioner humming somewhere in the background. for a second you thought maybe james had already left like he usually did at night, but the second you turned into the living room you nearly screamed.
james was just standing there in the dark wearing all black like some creep from a horror movie.
“what the hell?!” you whisper yelled, clutching your chest. “i thought you were out.”
he looked just as startled as you did. “no i was uh… y’know…” he mumbled awkwardly, shifting on his feet while avoiding your eyes completely.
“i don’t, actually.” you glared at him before brushing past him towards the front door.
“wait.” his voice came out too fast. “can i maybe come with you?”
you stopped immediately and slowly turned around like you genuinely couldn’t believe what you’d just heard. “no.”
“please. just this once.” he grabbed your wrist before you could open the door, and you immediately looked down at his hand with annoyance.
“i’m not going out alone. i’m meeting people.” you pulled your wrist away.
“i know.” he said quietly. “you’re meeting annie and tarzzan and bailey and youngseo and…”
“okay congratulations?” you cut him off instantly. “you know who i’m meeting with. why would that make me wanna bring you? we’re not friends.”
he looked like he wanted to say something else, but nothing came out. you scoffed softly before opening the door and walking out into the hallway. for a second you almost felt guilty after seeing the look on his face, but the feeling disappeared just as quickly as it came. he had spent weeks making your life harder, staring at you during practice like he had something against you personally, and acting cold every single time you tried to exist near him. if he felt bad now then that was his problem.
you almost reached the elevator before the realization hit you.
you stopped walking and sighed heavily before dragging yourself back toward the dorm.
james was already halfway down the hallway with his hood pulled over his head, shoulders slumped.
“you wanna meet woochan.” you said flatly.
he froze immediately before slowly turning around. “he told you about me?” he asked, and for the first time since you met him he actually sounded hopeful.
“what? no.” you frowned. “when i found out woochan was supposed to debut i searched him up online and trainee a popped up. then when i saw you at the company i thought you looked familiar. it just took me forever to realize why.”
he nodded slowly. “does woochan know we’re supposed to debut together?”
you paused for a second. “probably. but he never brought it up. also he probably hates you. i haven’t exactly said kind words about any of you.”
there was an awkward silence after that before you started walking again. after a few seconds you realized he still wasn’t following you.
you turned around immediately. “can you hurry up? i’m already late.”
the relief on his face was actually embarrassing. he quickly caught up beside you, shoving his hands into his pockets while trying way too hard to act calm.
the streets were quiet while the two of you walked side by side. neither of you spoke much. both your hoods were up and your heads were down whenever people passed by. james kept walking slightly ahead of you the entire time which confused you because you never told him where you were going. somehow he already knew exactly where you were meeting the others.
you kept glancing at him every now and then. the oversized black hoodie, the way he walked with his shoulders slightly hunched forward, the hidden face. he reminded you of someone but you couldn’t tell who, and it annoyed you the more you thought about it.
when you finally got to the park the others were already there waiting near the benches. annie spotted you first and immediately stood up excitedly, but the second everyone noticed the extra person beside you they all went silent.
woochan froze instantly.
you and james both noticed it immediately.
james looked like he was about to pass out. his face had gone completely pale and his hands were shaking so badly it was actually concerning.
“you’re okay.” you quietly told him before walking over toward woochan.
woochan looked like he wanted to kill you already.
“come here for a second.” you said.
he didn’t move.
annie and tarzzan immediately started shoving him forward while laughing at his expression.
woochan finally walked over with tense shoulders and narrowed eyes. “y/n, what the hell.” he muttered through gritted teeth.
you smiled innocently. “just go talk to him. i’m literally fifteen, don’t yell at me.”
he scoffed loudly before looking over at james again. for a second neither of them moved. then woochan slowly walked over and sat beside him on one of the benches.
you immediately got tackled into a hug by annie before bailey and youngseo joined in too.
“you disappeared again!” annie complained while squeezing you.
“because im busy dealing with those immature idiots i’m supposed to debut with.” you groaned dramatically.
tarzzan laughed loudly before throwing an arm around your shoulders. “hybe finally released you from the prison?”
“barely.”
the conversation instantly became loud after that. everyone kept talking over each other at the same time while trying to catch up on everything that had happened recently. annie complained about…everything, bailey talked about a producer that scared her half to death, youngseo kept roasting everybody nonstop, and tarzzan somehow turned every conversation into something stupid within seconds.
for the first time in weeks your chest didn’t feel heavy.
you laughed so hard your stomach started hurting at one point because tarzzan somehow slipped off the bench while trying to imitate one of the trainers.
every now and then you glanced over toward james and woochan.
at first both of them looked painfully awkward sitting there side by side in silence, but eventually they started talking. then talking turned into actual conversation. at some point james even laughed quietly at something woochan said, and the look on woochan’s face softened immediately after hearing it.
hours passed without any of you noticing.
the sky slowly turned lighter above you while the city around the park started waking up. students in uniforms walked past half asleep while people carrying coffees headed to work. meanwhile you were currently dying in tarzzan’s headlock while everyone else laughed at your suffering.
“i actually hate you!” you yelled while trying to pry his arm off your neck.
“you’re weak!” tarzzan shouted back dramatically.
annie was laughing so hard she almost fell off the bench while bailey recorded the whole thing on het phone.
then suddenly tarzzan stopped laughing.
you immediately noticed the way his eyes shifted somewhere behind you before he awkwardly let go of you.
james had shot up from the bench so quickly it startled everyone.
“it’s seven am!” he shouted in panic. “the others are awake and martin keeps calling me!”
your soul genuinely left your body.
you immediately stood up so fast you almost tripped. “we have to go.”
you let out a sigh before looking back at everyone. “bye! i’ll see you whenever!”
you didn’t even wait for responses before taking off running with james right in front of you.
the two of you sprinted through the streets like actual criminals while people stared at you in confusion. students walking to school moved out of your way while you nearly crashed into multiple people trying to cross the street.
“we’re dead.” james gasped between breaths.
“i know.”
“martin called me fourteen times.”
“stop counting!”
you were so exhausted your legs were starting to burn by the time james suddenly stopped running.
you slammed directly into his back with enough force to send both of you falling onto the sidewalk.
“what the hell?!” you groaned while trying to catch your breath.
james stayed hunched over with his head down while his shoulders shook violently.
your eyes widened immediately.
oh no.
you quickly crawled closer to him on the ground, ignoring the confused looks people were giving you. “wait are you crying? don’t cry please. i thought your conversation with woochan went well. you guys literally talked for hours and if he said something bad i’ll actually fight him even though he’s older than me and probably stronger and…but wait why would i fight him for you? youre mean and really—“
you stopped talking the second james looked up.
this idiot was laughing.
actual tears were in his eyes because he was laughing so hard.
you stared at him in disbelief before dropping your head into your hands. “jesus christ.”
a breathy laugh escaped you before you could stop it.
then suddenly both of you were laughing so hard neither of you could breathe properly.
every bit of stress from the past few weeks just disappeared all at once while you sat on the sidewalk at seven in the morning looking absolutely insane.
eventually james stood up first before holding his hand out toward you, still laughing quietly under his breath.
you looked at him for a second before grabbing his hand.
neither of you bothered running again after that.
instead you just walked slowly back toward the dorm together while the city fully woke up around you. the morning air felt cold against your skin and exhaustion was finally starting to hit you properly, but somehow you didn’t really mind it anymore.
for once the silence between you and james didn’t feel uncomfortable.
it actually felt nice.
the second you and james stepped into the dorm, the atmosphere completely changed.
everyone who had been scattered around the living room immediately shot up from their seats the second they saw him. martin practically sprinted across the room first while the others started talking all at once, voices overlapping loudly enough to make your already pounding head hurt even more.
“where the hell were you?!” martin snapped, grabbing james by the shoulders. “your phone was on silent, nobody knew where you went!”
“we thought you got caught outside!” another voice added.
“or kidnapped honestly.”
“hyung, i literally called you like twenty times!”
the chaos exploded around james instantly while he stood there blinking in confusion from the sudden attention. everyone kept crowding around him at once, checking if he was okay, arguing over each other, complaining about how worried they’d been since he disappeared in the middle of the night.
you quietly slipped your shoes off near the entrance without saying anything.
not a single person looked your way.
you preferred it like that.
you were exhausted enough to pass out right there on the floor. your legs still hurt from running halfway across the city, your hoodie smelled like cold morning air, and your brain felt completely numb after staying awake all night.
you were just about to walk away when movement in front of you made you stop.
juhoon was standing there awkwardly a few feet away, hands shoved into the pockets of his sweatpants while the chaos continued loudly behind him.
he looked at you for a second before speaking quietly. “you okay?”
you stared at him in confusion.
“yeah?” you answered slowly, almost sounding suspicious about why he was even asking.
he nodded once. “okay.”
that was it.
then he just walked past you toward the living room again like the interaction never happened in the first place.
you stood there for a second watching him before sighing softly and heading toward your room.
the dorm still felt noisy behind you. you could hear martin scolding james from the hallway while the others kept talking over him nonstop. surprisingly, james actually sounded awake for once while replying instead of mumbling one word answers like usual.
you changed into comfortable clothes as quickly as possible before climbing into bed. the second you got under the covers your body immediately relaxed into the mattress.
you were seconds away from passing out when the bedroom door suddenly opened again.
james walked inside, grabbed fresh clothes, and immediately headed for the bathroom without saying anything.
you barely acknowledged him.
a few minutes later he came back wearing loose sweatpants and a black hoodie, hair still damp from quickly washing his face. meanwhile you were practically unconscious already, eyes half closed while leaning against the headboard.
then james walked over and sat directly on your bed.
you slowly opened one eye.
“what.”
“well obviously i’m gonna tell you what me and woochan talked about.” he said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “duh.”
you stared at him blankly.
he sat cross legged near your legs, looking weirdly energetic for someone who hadn’t slept at all. meanwhile you felt like your soul was actively leaving your body.
for a few seconds neither of you spoke.
james looked genuinely excited.
you looked sick. not in the good way.
finally you sighed heavily before forcing yourself slightly upright against the headboard. “go on.”
that was apparently all the permission he needed.
the words immediately started pouring out of him so fast you could barely even process them.
“okay so first of all he remembered literally everything. like everything. he remembered the terrible vocal lessons and the monthly tests and even that one time leo almost got us kicked out because he accidentally broke the practice room speaker and then apparently he thought i hated him before because i stopped answering after trainee a ended but i didn’t know what to say because everything got messed up after we all split up and then he told me he saw my name on the lineup list months ago but didn’t know if it was actually me because apparently there are multiple jameses in korea which is stupid because obviously it was me and then…”
you blinked slowly while staring at him. this was the most you had ever heard him speak in one sitting. he barely even talked this much with the others, yet now he was ranting nonstop while sitting on your bed at eight in the morning like he physically could not stop himself.
every now and then he’d pause to laugh quietly at something woochan said earlier before immediately continuing his story again.
you mostly just listened in silence while fighting sleep.
hearing him like this felt weird.
for weeks james had been nothing but tense shoulders, annoyed glances, and awkward silence around everyone in the dorm. sometimes you genuinely forgot he was only a few years older than you because he carried himself so strangely all the time, like he constantly expected something bad to happen.
but right now he looked lighter somehow.
his eyes weren’t dull anymore and he looked happy.
you didn’t even realize you’d started smiling slightly until james suddenly stopped talking mid sentence.
“why are you looking at me like that?” he narrowed his eyes suspiciously.
“like what?”
“like i’m a zoo animal.”
you scoffed tiredly. “because you haven’t stopped talking for twenty minutes. i didn’t even know you could do that.”
he looked offended immediately. “i talk.”
“sure.”
“i do!”
“to who?”
he opened his mouth before immediately closing it again. “okay well…you don’t talk either!” he said, wanting to defend himself.
“can you blame me?” you asked.
after that the room slowly became quieter.
james kept still talking, just slower now. your responses became shorter and shorter while exhaustion finally started winning. at some point he shifted lower on the bed without even realizing it, eventually resting against your legs underneath the thick blankets.
you were too tired to care. normally, you would have kicked him off you.
your head slowly tipped sideways against the wall while james continued mumbling half asleep about woochan and trainee a and old memories that barely even made sense anymore.
eventually his voice faded completely and silence filled the room.
a few hours later, the dorm had somehow become chaotic again.
apparently the others noticed james had disappeared for an unusually long amount of time, which immediately worried everybody considering his habit of randomly leaving at night recently.
outside your bedroom door, multiple voices whispered nervously.
“is he sleeping?”
“did they leave again?”
“why would they leave again? aren’t they tired?”
“shut up.”
finally juhoon slowly opened the door just enough to peek inside.
the second he saw the two of you he visibly relaxed.
you were completely knocked out against the headboard in the world’s most uncomfortable sleeping position while james was asleep sideways across the bed, his head resting against your knees like that was completely normal.
juhoon stared for a second before quietly snorting.
behind him martin immediately pushed forward to look too.
his expression instantly changed into pure confusion. “…what am i looking at.”
seonghyeon appeared behind him next, only to immediately frown at the sight inside the room. keonho looked over his shoulder too before his face twisted into annoyance almost instantly.
“since when are they close?” seonghyeon muttered, sounding weirdly irritated about it.
keonho just rolled his eyes dramatically before grabbing seonghyeon by the sleeve and dragging him away from the door.
“who cares.”
“apparently i do.”
“well stop.”
martin kept staring inside the room with the most confused expression imaginable while juhoon quietly shut the door again before anyone could wake either of you up.
inside the room neither of you moved once.
for the first time since joining the company, both you and james actually looked peaceful.
when you finally woke up, your entire body felt disgusting.
your throat was painfully dry, your hoodie was sticking to your skin from sweat, and your neck hurt horribly from sleeping against the headboard for god knows how many hours. for a second you just sat there blinking slowly at the dark room while trying to figure out what time it was.
then you noticed james wasn’t there.
you frowned slightly before grabbing your phone from beside you. the brightness almost blinded you instantly.
8:43 pm.
you stared at the screen in disbelief.
“what the fuck.”
you had slept the entire day away.
before you could process that properly, loud laughter suddenly echoed through the dorm from the living room. multiple voices talked over each other while some action movie played loudly in the background.
right.
friday movie night.
your stomach growled painfully.
you dragged yourself out of bed and lazily walked toward the kitchen while rubbing your eyes. the dorm lights felt way too bright after sleeping all day. everyone in the living room was too distracted by the movie to notice you walking past, which honestly made things easier.
you opened multiple cabinets searching for something quick to eat before finally finding a half crushed bag of chips shoved in the back of one drawer.
good enough.
you grabbed the bag and yawned loudly while walking behind the couch toward the balcony.
the movie was ridiculously loud. some actor was screaming while explosions played in the background and martin kept reacting dramatically to everything happening onscreen like his life depended on it.
before stepping outside, you heard james quietly ask seonghyeon, “can you grab my charger from my room? i forgot it.”
“lazy.” seonghyeon muttered.
“please.”
you didn’t stick around long enough to hear the response.
the cold night air immediately hit your face the second you stepped onto the balcony, and honestly it felt amazing after waking up sweaty and overheated. you dropped into the chair you always sat in and opened the chips while scrolling aimlessly through your phone.
you wished you had your diary with you.
your fingers twitched slightly at the thought.
writing had become almost automatic at this point. every night after everyone slept, you’d quietly sit there and write down every stupid thought that crossed your mind because it was easier than actually talking to people.
it was embarrassing honestly.
nobody knew how much stuff was in there.
you sighed heavily before standing up from the chair.
might as well grab it.
you quietly walked back inside and toward your room while crunching on chips absentmindedly. the movie was still playing loudly behind you, mixed with random yelling from the others.
once you stepped inside the bedroom, your eyes immediately moved toward the top of your bedside drawer.
you froze, because your diary wasn’t there.
you frowned slightly.
that was weird.
you could’ve sworn you left it there before falling asleep earlier.
you set the chips down before checking properly. maybe it fell behind the drawer or got shoved somewhere under the blanket while you slept.
nothing.
your stomach immediately twisted uncomfortably.
you crouched down and pulled your suitcase out from under the bed, quickly unzipping it. clothes immediately spilled everywhere while you searched through it faster and faster.
nothing.
okay.
okay no.
your breathing started speeding up slightly.
you ripped through the rest of your stuff, throwing hoodies, shirts, notebooks, chargers, literally everything across your side of the room. drawers got opened aggressively. blankets got thrown onto the floor. your entire side of the bedroom looked destroyed within minutes.
the diary was nowhere.
actual panic started settling into your chest now.
because the thing was, you never took that diary outside the dorm.
ever.
which meant it had to be somewhere inside the dorm.
which meant somebody had it.
you immediately rushed back toward the living room.
“james.”
your voice made him look away from the movie instantly.
he hummed quietly. “what?”
you tried your best to sound normal even though your chest was practically caving in. “do you remember that pink notebook you asked me about like a month ago?”
james nodded immediately. “the one where you write lyrics every night?”
right.
that lie.
“yeah.” you forced out. “have you seen it?”
his expression changed slightly at your tone. “wasn’t it on top of your bedside drawer this morning?”
everyone’s attention slowly shifted toward you two now.
“this morning.” you repeated tightly. “now it’s gone. i looked everywhere.”
the movie was basically background noise at this point.
james stared at you for a second before immediately standing up. “i’ll check my side.”
you followed him instantly down the hallway.
the second you were away from the others, james lowered his voice. “you don’t write lyrics in there, do you.”
you looked at him tiredly.
“it’s a diary.” he said quietly, already knowing.
you groaned softly while rubbing your face. “i genuinely don’t know why i keep lying to you anymore. you literally figure everything out.”
“because you’re bad at lying.”
“i’m not, though. you’re just a good observer.”
he ignored that completely and started checking his side of the room carefully while you stood there anxiously pulling at your sleeves.
he searched everywhere.
desk drawers.
under the bed.
closet shelves.
nothing.
then james suddenly opened the bedroom door again. “juhoon.”
a few seconds later juhoon appeared looking mildly annoyed at being dragged away from movie night.
“what.”
james explained quickly. “her notebook’s missing.”
he purposely avoided mentioning it was a diary.
juhoon looked at you for a few seconds silently before speaking.
“that’s a diary, right?”
you blinked at him. “how do you know that?”
he looked completely unimpressed. “i’m a light sleeper. you wake me up half the time when you hide it in your suitcase at night.” he shrugged slightly. “also nobody hides lyric notebooks like government secrets.”
you rolled your eyes aggressively. “okay whatever. can you please just help me find it?”
juhoon sighed before lazily looking around the room. “sure. but if someone stole it, they definitely wouldn’t hide it near my stuff.”
still, the three of you searched again anyway.
every drawer.
every shelf.
under the beds.
inside closets.
inside bags.
nothing.
the room stayed completely silent afterward, because slowly, all three of you seemed to realize the exact same thing at once.
the diary had to still be inside the dorm.
which meant someone from the group had taken it.
your stomach dropped horribly.
james looked tense immediately.
juhoon looked annoyed.
“don’t involve me in whatever mess this turns into.” juhoon muttered while already walking back toward the door. he walked back toward the living room, leaving you and james alone in the destroyed bedroom.
for a few seconds neither of you spoke.
then james quietly said, “whoever has it probably hasn’t read much yet or hasn’t read it at all.”
you looked at him immediately. “how do you know?”
“because if they did, the dorm would already be on fire.”
the next few days felt painfully tense.
even though nobody mentioned the diary out loud anymore, the thought of it never left your mind for even a second. every time you walked into a room and conversation suddenly stopped, your chest tightened. every time seonghyeon glanced at you for too long or keonho whispered something quietly to martin, your stomach twisted horribly.
you started paying attention to everything.
every expression, every weird interaction, every single glance.
martin was the first person you crossed off mentally. you still didn’t particularly like him, and he definitely didn’t like you either, but after watching him for days you realized he just didn’t seem cruel enough to do something like this. annoying? yes. loud? absolutely. but invading somebody’s privacy like that felt too calculated for him.
which left seonghyeon and keonho.
honestly, you leaned more toward seonghyeon. he had this habit of pretending he didn’t care while clearly caring way too much, and the way he kept avoiding eye contact with you lately was starting to look suspicious.
but you couldn’t fully tell.
and not knowing was driving you insane.
somehow, despite everything happening, things between you, james, and juhoon had gotten strangely better.
you still wouldn’t exactly call your friendship with juhoon normal because most of your conversations still sounded like passive aggressive arguments half the time, but there was something weirdly comfortable about him now. maybe it was because he knew more about you than you originally thought. maybe it was because he never treated you delicately after finding out about the diary. he just acted the same as always, and honestly you appreciated that more than expected.
with james though, things had completely changed.
the two of you were together constantly now.
training, convenience store runs, late night talks, random walks around the city whenever the dorm felt suffocating. at some point people just accepted that if one of you was somewhere, the other probably wasn’t far behind.
everyone thought it was weird.
especially considering how much you used to hate each other.
even martin pointed it out once during dinner. Yes, dinner. James wouldn’t let you eat alone anymore. “you two are actually attached at the hip now. it’s creepy.”
“mind your business.” you immediately replied.
“see?” martin pointed between you two dramatically. “that was synchronized.”
james just laughed quietly beside you while eating.
right now, the three of you were walking back from the corner store carrying way too many snacks and random junk food that none of you actually needed. juhoon walked slightly ahead while checking something on his phone, and you and james kept laughing at some stupid story he was telling about woochan accidentally falling asleep during practice years ago.
the second the three of you stepped inside, everything stopped.
your laughter died immediately.
so did james’.
because sitting in the living room were martin, seonghyeon, and keonho and in seonghyeon’s hands was your diary.
for a second you genuinely couldn’t breathe.
they were so focused reading that they didn’t even notice you come in until the plastic bags slipped from your hands and hit the floor loudly.
all three of them looked up instantly.
you moved before even thinking.
you stormed across the room and ripped the diary straight out of seonghyeon’s hands so harshly the pages bent painfully.
“what the fuck is wrong with you?” your voice came out shaky immediately.
nobody answered.
your eyes dropped to the open page and your stomach dropped.
they were reading the worst page.
the page where you finally snapped weeks ago and wrote everything down after crying yourself to sleep. every disgusting thought you’d been forcing down for months was right there in messy handwriting across the pages.
how miserable they made you. how you dreaded coming back to the dorm every night. how exhausting it was constantly feeling unwanted. how you memorized everybody’s schedules just to avoid accidentally making them uncomfortable by existing near them. how badly they destroyed your mental health without even realizing it. how badly you wanted to leave.
something inside you completely broke.
“are you happy now?” your voice cracked instantly. “seriously, are you proud of yourselves?”
the room stayed dead silent. you threw the diary back on to the table, and it landed in front of seonghyeon.
you laughed bitterly while tears started streaming down your face almost immediately. “i never bothered any of you. i never did anything wrong to you people and you still treated me like absolute shit every single day.”
nobody moved.
nobody spoke.
your voice just kept getting louder.
“do you even realize how exhausting you all are to be around? do you realize i had to learn your schedules like some fucking psycho just so i wouldn’t accidentally run into you in this dorm because i knew you’d all look annoyed the second you saw me?”
martin looked horrified. keonho was frozen. seonghyeon looked like he genuinely wanted the floor to swallow him whole.
but you didn’t stop.
“you all made me feel insane for months. every single time i walked into a room you’d go quiet or stare at me like i was ruining your day just by existing there. do you know how humiliating that feels?” your breathing became uneven while tears kept falling faster. “i’m fifteen. i’m literally fifteen years old and i spent months feeling scared to walk around my own dorm because of you people.”
james quietly stepped closer beside you but didn’t interrupt.
your hands were shaking violently now.
“and then instead of acting like normal fucking human beings you steal my diary? my diary? do you know how disgusting that is?” your voice nearly echoed through the dorm at this point. “you invaded the only thing i had that was actually private because apparently making my life miserable during the day wasn’t enough for you people.”
seonghyeon finally opened his mouth quietly. “y/n…”
“fucking don’t.”
the way you snapped it made everyone freeze immediately.
you glared at him so harshly it almost startled yourself.
your hands shook uncontrollably at your side.
you wanted to hit him.
for one horrible second, you genuinely wanted to slap him across the face, and everybody noticed.
martin’s eyes widened instantly, keonho straightened up, and seonghyeon visibly tensed, glancing between your hand and your face with visible worry.
james grabbed your wrist immediately before you could even think further.
“y/n, calm down first.” he said quietly.
you laughed angrily through tears. “i’ve been calm for months.”
james tightened his grip slightly. “please.”
“no.” your voice cracked badly. “i kept my mouth shut this entire time because i thought eventually things would get better and they never did. so what now? they get to act like i’m the problem and i’m just supposed to sit there quietly forever?”
“you’re upset right now.” james tried carefully. “you’re saying things you’ll regret later.”
you turned toward him immediately. “no i’m not.”
the entire room stayed silent.
“i mean every single word i’m saying right now.” your voice shook violently. “and i meant every single thing i wrote in that diary too. none of that was written because i was dramatic or emotional. it was the truth.”
nobody even tried interrupting anymore.
“those pages exist because that’s genuinely how horrible you people made this experience for me.” you looked directly at seonghyeon while speaking now. “you act like disgusting fucking bullies and then stand there shocked when somebody finally says it out loud.”
seonghyeon looked physically sick at this point.
“y/n…” martin finally spoke quietly.
“i said don’t.”
nobody moved.
then james suddenly spoke firmly without taking his eyes off seonghyeon.
“give her the diary. now.”
seonghyeon grabbed it slowly with shaky hands before holding it toward you.
you stared at it for a second.
then immediately shoved it right back against his chest.
“why the fuck would i want it back?” you laughed bitterly. “you already read everything.”
seonghyeon looked devastated hearing that, but you obviously didn’t care. why should you? they never cared when you were on the verge of ending it all.
you turned around immediately before anyone could stop you.
juhoon was still standing near the entrance completely silent, watching everything with an unreadable expression.
for a second your eyes met.
then you walked straight past him, yanked the dorm door open, and slammed it shut hard enough to shake the walls behind you.
TAGLIST CLOSED (if i missed anyone, please tell me! this blew up literally overnight and i made the taglist like two minutes before i had to write my exam so i was kinda stressing)
summary. y/n finally lands her dream role for the biggest performance of her career but she doesn't realise that when ambition and love collide, the fallout is inevitable. the closer she gets to greatness, the more it consumes her and sunghoon is left to helplessly watch as the girl he loves slowly disappears. pairing. idol bf!sunghoon x ballerina!reader. mentions. established relationship, overworking, burnout, slight references to ed, y/n is a bit mean, crying, comfort, fluff. i don’t really know much about ballet in general or ballerinas so i hope any references here aren’t awkwardly wrong and i apologise beforehand :)
the first time y/n got the call, she genuinely thought she had heard wrong.
it had been one of those rehearsals that left every muscle in her body trembling. the kind where the studio mirrors had started to fog at the edges and the air smelled faintly of rosin and sweat mixed with perfume and the sharp, almost comforting scent of worn pointe shoes. her hair, once pinned into a neatly flawless bun that morning, had loosened into tiny wisps around her face, the damp strands clinging to the back of her neck.
she had packed everything away into her bag and was walking down the street to the bus stop, sipping on her water when her phone had buzzed in her pocket. she frowned, thinking about who could be calling her during work hours, yet her stomach dropped when she saw her artistic director’s name displayed on the screen.
immediately, a hundred thoughts hit her at once.
did i mess something up? was one of the lifts off? did they want to talk about mondays schedule? did i do something wrong in rehearsals?
her fingers suddenly felt clumsy as she answered with a breathless, steady “hello?”
the voice on the other end was familiar and professional, “hi y/n, are you somewhere you can talk?”
the question made her pulse spike. her heart began to pound against her ribs and for one terrifying second, genuine panic flashed through her and she didn’t know why - to her, she didn’t do anything wrong but what if there was something she didn’t realise she’d done? what if someone complained? what if-
“yes.” she said quickly, standing straighter in the half-empty street, “of course.”
there was a tiny pause. it wasn’t long but long enough for her mind to spiral. and then…
“we’d like you to lead the winter gala.”
for a moment, the words didn’t register. her lips parted in shock as everything around her completely blurred. someone nearby laughed, a bus hissed to a stop, a few cars drove by but it all felt far away. muted. like someone had shoved the entire city underwater.
y/n just stood there under the faint glow of the street lamp, staring blankly ahead with her phone clutched to her ear, “i’m sorry?”
her artistic director laughed softly, “you heard me. you’ve been cast as the principal lead.”
her breath caught. the lead. the lead. not second cast, not alternate, not the understudy, but the lead. the main role. the one everyone in the company had been pressuring themselves for, the role every dancer dreamed of.
the lead dancer of the winter gala.
it wasn’t just another performance on the company calendar, it was the performance. the biggest production of the entire season. the kind of show critics reviewed in full speeds, the kind people booked tickets for months in advance, the kind that had the entire world of ballet and dance watching. every year it sold out instantly as industry directors came, former principals came, even some celebrities.
and for dancers? it was everything. careers had been made from one standout winter gala performance. promotions, contracts, recognition, opportunities. for some, it was a role that changed everything.
and it just been given to her. she didn’t even know what to feel.
“oh my god.”
her words were barely above a whisper and her director smiled on the other end, trying to hold back her own happiness. her tone softened, “you’ve earned this, y/n. i’ll send your schedule over in a bit. rehearsals begin monday. congratulations and see you soon.”
the line clicked dead but y/n stayed frozen on the pavement. people moved around her, the bus at the stop pulled away, cold wind brushed through her hair but she couldn’t move.
and then she laughed. a breathless, shaky laugh that turned into tears immediately. her hand flew to her mouth as the shock instantly turned into excitement, happiness, her heart racing with relief. she’d been chosen, out of maybe a hundred participants, maybe even a few more give or take - yet out of all that talent, all those different dancers, all those different personalities and styles of dancing… they had picked her.
“oh my god.” she whispered again. her tears were slipping down her cheeks by now.
and without even thinking, she opened her phone again and went to call the first person she needed to tell. the only person who would be the proudest, the most happiest for her.
he picked up on the second ring.
“hey pretty.” sunghoon’s voice came through warm and a little breathless. there was noise in the background: laughter, voices, the squeak of trainers on wooden floor. he was at dance practice.
“you done? wait- one second.” his voice shifted slightly like he was moving away from the others, the music and voices getting quieter as he sighed and took a seat on the couch, “okay, what’s up? are you all done because i have about an hour left and i’ll meet you at home. did you miss me that bad, huh?”
even through tears, a breathless laugh escaped her.
“hoon.”
the second he heard her voice crack, sunghoon straightened up.
“hey.” his tone instantly hardened, “what happened?”
she swallowed, trying not to cry harder at the soft concern in his tone, “i got it.”
it was silent for a second on his end as his brows furrowed and then- “wha- the gala?”
she nodded frantically as if he could see her. her lips trembled, her tears practically drying against her skin under the cold breeze and she sniffled, entirely in happiness.
“the lead.”
there was another beat of silence, one filled with anticipation and silent shock. and then, instantly, there was absolute chaos as sunghoon practically screamed “NO WAY.” his voice shot up so fast she had to pull the phone slightly from her ear.
in the background, she could hear the conversation die down before someone, it sounded like jay, screamed back, “what happened?!”
another voice, definitely jungwon, also asked, “why are you yelling?”
sunghoon didn't even answer as he grinned from ear to ear, clutching his phone as if that could bring her closer to him, as if it could give her all the hugs and comfort he wanted to give in that moment, “baby, you seriously got it?”
“yes!” she laughed through her tears and he laughed along, tiny breathless gasps, “oh my god. i knew it- i knew it!”
there were more muffled voices in the background, some faint footsteps before she heard jake, now standing a little closer, “did she get it?”
sunghoon, with absolutely zero intention of being subtle, practically yelled back, “she got the lead role!”
and almost immediately, there was a chorus of loud reactions, loud cheers filled with happiness and clapping and encouraging words as all of his members congratulated her through the phone. y/n couldn't stop smiling, her cheeks hurt and she had to move to the side of the street, hoping no one could hear the loud screams coming from her phone.
she thanked all of them before her boyfriend came back on the line, his voice calmer now but still glowing with pride, “baby....” the way he said it made her heart ache, “i'm so proud of you.”
her eyes filled with tears again, “hoon…”
“no, actually,” he continued, and now there was that playful teasing slipping back into his hoarse voice, “i need everyone to know i was right.”
“oh my god-”
in the background, jake called out, “he literally wouldn't shut up about it!”
sunghoon ignored him and focused completely on her. his lips still displayed that wide grin, his eyes twinkling with endless pride, love and joy, “you owe me.”
“for what?”
“for being your personal well-wisher.”
she laughed into her hand, wiping away her tears, “is that so?”
he hummed, “yeah, i expect celebratory kisses and food- oh, and we have to go out for drinks and ice cream.”
“you're unbelievable.”
“no, you're unbelievable.” he said dramatically, “lead of the winter gala? that's my girl.”
y/n's heart squeezed and his voice softened, “seriously, y/n. you worked so hard for this, you deserve it.”
he knew. of course he did. he knew every late night, every rehearsal, every time she came home slightly limping with her knees hurting. he knew every time she doubted herself, every tear she shed after her audition when she thought she did bad.
she still couldn’t believe it, she couldn't process it but hearing him saying it made it feel a lot more real.
“i can't wait to see you tonight.” he murmured, almost dreamily, and she chuckled softly.
“i'm heading home right now.”
“good, because i'm celebrating you properly.”
“with what?”
there was a tiny pause, a breath, and then mock seriousness: “i don't know yet, but it'll involve food and me being incredibly clingy.”
that made her laugh again because he was so perfect. this whole moment was perfect. the cold around her suddenly didn't feel as sharp anymore, the city suddenly seemed softer and as she finally stepped onto the bus with a smile she couldn't contain and a heart heavy with joy, she knew that everything was about to change.
she just didn't know it would begin to take pieces of her with it.
•••
for the first three weeks, it was almost beautiful.
not easy - nothing is ever easy - but beautiful in a way ambition could sometimes look from the outside.
y/n had always been disciplined, that was one of the first things that sunghoon had fallen in love with. it wasn't just the effortless elegance she carried or the way her body seemed to bend to music even when she wasn't dancing in the studio - it was the quiet determination beneath it, the way she committed herself fully to anything she loved.
when she danced, she danced. when she loved, she loved just as fiercely.
so as soon as she'd left for her first schedule that monday after she got the role with an excited smile on her face and his kisses all over her cheeks, sunghoon had expected the longer rehearsals, the packed timetable, the endless practice sessions. he expected stress and exhaustion but with that calm determination and drive to succeed.
what he hadn't expected was to watch the girl he loved slowly begin to disappear inside it.
at first, it started small. she woke up earlier than usual. she used to wake up at 6, and then it turned to 5, then 4:30. he would wake to the faint vibration of her alarm and the quiet rustle of sheets beside him, blinking blearily into the dim blue light of dawn. he'd find her already sitting at the edge of the bed, meticulously wrapping her ankles and putting her hair into a bun.
“baby... what time is it?” he had mumbled one time, voice thick with sleep.
y/n glanced over her shoulder, her smile tired but just as soft when she noticed his fluffy hair and roaming eyes, “go back to sleep.”
he rubbed at his half-closed eyes and pushed up onto one elbow, “you’re leaving already?”
“i want to get some solo practice in before group rehearsal.”
sunghoon frowned, “but it's barely morning.”
she laughed but it was hollow, a sound that didn't reach her eyes, “that's kind of the point.”
she pressed a quick kiss to his cheek, ran her hand over his hair briefly and she was gone before the sun had even fully risen.
nights became worse. dinner at 8pm turned into 10, then midnight, then sometimes it never happened at all. the apartment lights no longer went off when they used to, the routine of eating dinner together had become such a rarity, he barely expected it to happen anymore. sometimes, sunghoon would sit on the couch, pretending to watch something on his laptop but his eyes would instinctively flick to the time in the corner, ticking impossibly louder day by day.
12:47am.
1:00am.
1:15am.
and then, finally, the familiar beep of the door unlocking would be heard through the otherwise silent apartment. relief hit him in waves whenever she finally came home and then it would twist into anxiety whenever he saw her. she looked worse every night. paler. quieter. a little more sunken around the eyes. a little less like the girl who had cried in his arms from happiness when she got the role.
a little less like the girl who adored ballet with her entire heart.
one night, y/n came home at nearly two in the morning. the apartment was dark except for the warm glow of the lamp beside the couch. he was half-asleep, tired from his own day of interviews but was still determined to wait for her to come home, to see if she was okay.
y/n stepped inside so quietly it was almost as if she'd hoped he would be asleep. her shoulders sagged beneath her coat, her bag weighing one shoulder down as her pointe shoes half-hung out of the open zipper.
she looked exhausted- no, beyond exhausted.
like someone had wrung every last bit of her energy out of her.
“it’s 1:45.”
her hand stilled midway to taking her coat off. she stood there for a second, just breathing.
“i know.”
“you said rehearsals ended at ten.” his voice stayed calm amongst his worry that was almost impossible to miss nowadays.
“we stayed late.” y/n began walking to the kitchen without meeting his eyes, dropping her bag by the door.
“for three and a half hours?”
“i needed more time.”
sunghoon stood up and as she crossed the room, he saw it. the tiny wince when she put weight on her ankle. it was small, maybe almost invisible to anyone who didn't pay much attention - but not to sunghoon. he noticed everything about her, no matter how small it may seem, and his stomach immediately dropped as his eyes travelled back up her body like he was checking for any other injuries.
“did you eat?”
silence.
she opened the fridge, grabbed a water bottle and her silence was answer enough for him.
“…i had coffee.”
sunghoon stared at her in disbelief, “coffee?”
“it's just for now.”
“y/n.” his voice grew lower, heavy.
“it's fine.” she leaned back against the counter, eyes closing briefly, her shoulders slumping forward in exhaustion beyond reason.
“no, it's not.”
her eyes snapped open fully then as the frustration flared through the fog of fatigue like something igniting beneath too-thin skin, “you don't understand.”
the words landed wrong immediately. not loud or dramatic. just heavy. like something dropped between them that couldn't be taken back. he knew this wasn't her talking, it was the tiredness, the weakness, the stress that had been plaguing her for weeks. sunghoon went still but it wasn’t anger that crossed his face - it was something quieter, something a little unsettling.
he looked disappointed.
“i’m sorry-” y/n breathed out too quickly, already shaking her head as if that could physically undo it. her numb fingers pressed to her temple like she could massage the tension out of her own thoughts, “i didn't mean that- i just-”
“no.” his voice cut through and he stepped forward slowly, gently, “tell me what i'm not understanding.”
that made her stop, really stop, because he wasn't arguing back, he wasn't escalating, he was just asking. and that somehow made it worse - his calmness.
her shoulders sagged under the constant tension and her body almost collapsed forward, like her bones couldn't hold her up anymore. she clutched the edge of the counter as she rasped out, “this is the biggest performance of my career. of my whole life.”
“i know.”
“then you know why i have to do this.”
“yeah, i know why you have to do this.” sunghoon said immediately, shaking his head once. he moved a step closer again, not crowding her but closing the space she was trying to disappear into, and his voice softened into a gentle plead, “that doesn't mean you have to destroy yourself for it.”
she laughed - small, broken, full of disbelief at his words as if what he was saying was entirely non-negotiable, “destroy myself?”
she looked up at him properly then, eyes sharp and gone was the girl who would understand his reasons, who would never try to argue with him but instead work things out calmly and peacefully. now, her new life seemed to curl at her throat and dig its thorns into her heart, poking right at his place in there, “sunghoon... there are girls in that studio who would kill for this part.”
his jaw tightened slightly, “and?”
that caught her off guard.
“and if i slip even once, they'll give the spot to someone else. you need to understand that.”
he didn't reply after that, he didn't know how to. he just stared at her for a long moment with the quiet recognition that this had become something he didn't know how to fix.
“i'll be fine once it's over.” she said dismissively, staring at the floor for a second too long and he didn't know who she was convincing... herself or him?
“it’s temporary. it's just until the performance.” she said it like a promise, like a shield, like something she had started saying so often she no longer questioned it. but to sunghoon, it wasn't reassurance anymore - it was a pattern. a warning he had started to dread.
because it had shown up at 3am when he found her sitting on the bathroom floor with ice pressed to her swollen ankles, eyes unfocused as she whispered it like a mantra.
i'll be fine once it's over.
it had shown up the next night when he opened the fridge and found the untouched takeout she had promised she'd eat, now cold and forgotten. it was from her favourite place... but she hadn't even noticed the logo on the boxes, too tired to even stand.
i'll be fine once it's over.
it had shown up again when he found her asleep at the dining table with her cheek pressed against the wood. her laptop was open in front of her, playing one of her rehearsal videos with a tiny section of notes for improvements and his stomach seemed to sink even more when he saw how long the list was - as if all this work wasn't already draining the life out of her.
i'll be fine once it's over.
each time, he believed her a little less.
and each time she whispered those words, he felt a little more helpless.
•••
a month later, it was no longer stress.
that's what sunghoon called it in the beginning because stress was normal, expected. he felt it as well when he had an important performance coming up. anyone given the principal role in the winter gala would be under pressure, and he tried to remind himself of that everytime he woke to an empty bed before sunrise or sat awake long past midnight waiting for her to come home.
but this had become something else entirely.
it was sharper now. more consuming. more concerning. something had wrapped itself around y/n so tightly that there was barely anything of her left outside of it. her entire world had narrowed down to rehearsals, counts, corrections, and the constant fear of falling behind. it’s like everything else around her had begun to disappear.
from the outside, the performance still looked beautiful and that's what was cruel about it: the elegance of it all. the discipline. the grace. the way she still moved like poetry.
it reminded sunghoon of something delicate, something made to be admired from afar - like a crown folded from paper: beautiful in shape, precise in design.
but paper was still paper.
no matter how carefully it was folded, how perfectly it held its shape, it only took the smallest amount of pressure for it to bend. one drop of water. one careless hand. one fracture. and suddenly, the whole thing came apart.
that's what this had started to feel like.
y/n wore the role like a crown - the lead ballerina of the winter gala, the most coveted performance of the season, the title everyone in the company wanted, the one dancers spent years dreaming about. on her, it looked effortless, beautiful... but up close, sunghoon could see what no one else did: the edges of that paper was beginning to crease and there were tiny strains in the folds.
y/n stopped replying to messages. her groupchat with her friends had remained unread, disappearing beneath a flood of company notifications and timing reminders, completely going silent on her end. when sunghoon mentioned it once, gently asking if she'd talked to anyone or might want to go for a girls day, she'd only shaken her head and muttered something about being too busy.
soon, she stopped going out fully unless it was absolutely necessary. no more coffee runs, no more going to cute cafés, no more meeting with friends, no more dates.
even when she was home, she wasn't really there. the apartment no longer felt lived in, and instead, felt like an extension of the studio. the dining table was occupied with dressing choices, choreography notes, CDs of past performances she had been expected to watch and study and half-empty coffee cups which sunghoon had taken upon himself to wash and put away. ice packs permanently occupied the freezer. pain relief gel sat uncapped on the bathroom counter. pointe shoes lay abandoned near the sofa or beneath the coffee table like she barely had any time to remove them before going to do something else.
rest was no longer something she chose.
it was something her body forced on her.
on one of the few evenings sunghoon had finished practice earlier than usual, he came home expecting silence. maybe he could take a nap before getting ready to go to the gym, maybe he could convince his girlfriend one more time to eat a proper meal and not just coffee or random snacks.
the hallway outside their front door was quiet. he punched in the code, their anniversary date, and for a brief moment, he let himself hope. maybe she had finally listened to him. maybe tonight he'd find her curled up in bed, asleep beneath the duvet with her hair in that crazy loose array that made him chuckle. he pictured the gentle rise and fall of her breathing, the way she would clutch his pillow when he wasn't there with her, and something softened in his chest.
but the moment he stepped inside, that hope disappeared.
music drifted down the hallway. soft strings of a controlled melody. his heart sank instantly.
it was the same piece of the same section of the performance she'd been working on for weeks now - the melody was so deeply engraved in both of their minds that sometimes sunghoon could hear it playing in his own head when he went for his own dance practices. it was practically the soundtrack of their apartment now.
still, some part of him hoped he was wrong. maybe she just left it playing by accident, maybe she was in the shower, maybe-
he turned the corner and stopped completely.
y/n was in the middle of the room, still in her practice clothes. her pink wrap top clung faintly to her skin, damp with sweat and the black tights she'd left in that morning were still dusted with fine white powder from the studio floor. her hair was pulled back into such a tight slickback it looked painful - every part of herself wound so tightly that one slip would've made the whole thing unravel.
sunghoon's eyes ran over her body in that concerning way they always did. she had one leg propped up against the arm of the couch, her body folded into an intense stretch so deep it made something in his chest curl.
it looked like punishment.
her breathing was uneven, thin shoulders rising and falling too fast, too strained, and when his gaze dropped lower, his lips curled into a worried snarl.
her hands were shaking. not even slightly, they were actually trembling. visible, uncontrollable tremors ran through her fingers and wrists as she forced herself deeper into the stretch. and the way she kept going, still ignoring every signal her body was giving her to stop, it made him frustrated.
“seriously?” the word came out before he could even stop himself, the pure disbelief evident in his tone.
y/n didn't even look up as she spoke, “i need to keep my lines clean.”
sunghoon just stared at her. he genuinely couldn't believe what he was seeing, “you need to sit down.”
her exhale was sharp and irritated, “hoon, please.”
“no.” his voice was clipped, firm, final. it changed the atmosphere instantly, almost slicing through the soft music and fragile patience that had been holding this together for weeks.
for the first time, she actually stopped. she lifted her head, actually made eye contact with him and the sight of her nearly broke him. she looked pale. far too pale to the point she looked ill. sweat dampened the loose strands of hair at the nape of her neck, dark shadows bruised the delicate skin beneath her eyes, deep enough that even her makeup couldn't fully hide it.
then his eyes dropped lower. his breath caught.
her toes were bruised. deep purple marks bloomed over and even beneath the skin, swollen and angry, the kind of bruising that should've had her off her feet days ago. her hands were still trembling, her skin was practically pulling at her ribcage and her collarbones were so prominent they looked like they might snap if she breathed too heavy.
“y/n... baby, you're not okay.” he was almost on the verge of tears.
“i am.” her reply was too quick, too rehearsed.
“no, you're not.”
immediately, her arms folded over her chest as if she was defending herself on instinct.
“i don't need another lecture, sunghoon.”
he blinked at her, slightly caught off-guard, “a lecture? you think this is a lecture?”
“what else is it?”
a bitter laugh escaped him before he could stop it, “it's me being worried about you. it’s-”
“i told you i can handle it.”
“no, you're not handling it. you're not handling anything.”
his words sounded strict and that clipped tone landed wrong in her chest. she knew he was right. deep down, she knew what she was doing was wrong, it was unhealthy and completely unlike her, but the discipline and ambition had gone so out of hand she didn't know how to grasp at it anymore.
her chest rose sharply and her expression twisted into one of frustration, fear, all of it simmering to the surface, “you don’t get it.”
there's that sentence again.
something in him snaps, decisively, “then explain it to me.” his voice lowered to that deep, controlled tone, the kind of calm that only came when he was trying very hard not to shout angrily, “because from where i'm standing , it looks like you're killing yourself for a company that would replace you in a second.”
her breath caught. hurt seemed to flash over her face, mixed with fear, but anger took over just as instantly, “you don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“then tell me.”
he stepped closer, “tell me why you haven't slept properly in weeks. tell me why i keep finding food you haven't touched. tell me why you can't even stand on that ankle right now.”
her face creased and suddenly, something cruel inside her seemed to split open; her dignity, or perhaps the self-care and love she had long forgotten about. her jaw tightened and she clenched her nails into her palm.
“because i have to be perfect!” the words tore out of her, raw and shaking, like they'd been clawing at her ribs for weeks, “because if i'm not, then someone else takes the spot!”
the room fell silent. her breathing came faster now, almost frantic, chest rising and falling too quickly. tears glossed over her eyes but they didn't fall, instead, they made her look more frantic. more desperate.
“i've dreamed about this all my life, sunghoon. i’ve worked so hard to get to where i am today.”
“i know.” he said quietly.
but she shook her head so fast it almost looked violent, “no, you don’t.” her voice cracked, then sharpened, “you have no idea what it's like in that studio.”
“do you really think i don't understand pressure, y/n?” he wasn't being defensive, he was just as tired - deeply, heartbreakingly tired - and seeing the love in his eyes when he looked at her, seeing the worry and concern for her should've been the moment she stopped.
instead, it only made something uglier rise inside her.
“this is different.”
“how?”
she laughed, humourless and completely bitter, “because, as a dancer, you should know what this feels like.” he went completely still and she continued with a voice trembling with emotion and something more intense, “you stay late for practices too, you have important performances you need to do extra work for. you know what it’s like until your body gives out, so why are you acting like what i’m doing is insane?”
sunghoon's fists clenched by his sides because in a way, she was right, he did know. he knew what pressure felt like, he knew what it meant to chase perfection until it hollowed you out, he knew what it was like to be watched, judged, corrected. but this? this had gotten so out of hand that even with all of that understanding, he no longer knew how to reach her.
“y/n…” he said softly, warm eyes pleading as his brows furrowed, “i do know what that feels like but...”
“no!” her voice rose so suddenly, it startled both of them, “you don't know because you already made it. you already debuted. you're already in a group, your place is already secure.”
“what?”
“if you make one mistake on stage, they cover for you. the others will step in, the cameras move away and it’ll be edited out. the performance keeps going.” her own words seemed to echo back at her, completely cruel, coming from something ugly and terrifying that had made its way into her mind, into her heart.
sunghoon stood there stunned. it hurt, of course it did, especially coming from her. she could see it flash in his dark eyes, she could see it in the way his brows furrowed just a bit more and the love in his eyes started to wither.
but she was too far gone and too consumed by the adrenaline and panic to stop.
“ballet doesn’t work like that. if i mess up one turn, one landing, one count- that’s it. i’m off the performance. and that’s just for rehearsals, never mind the real thing.” her voice cracked and the tears finally spilled over, “there are girls in that studio waiting for me to fail. there will be girls in line that day to immediately take over if i do something wrong. you don’t know what it’s like to have people waiting on your downfall every freaking second!”
he’d gone so quiet that it would’ve hurt less if he just shouted back. but his silence stabbed at her too because she knew, she knew he understood, of course he did - ever since he was young, he’s had cameras watching him, people training him, correcting him, criticising him. he knew fear. he knew what it was like to feel replaceable. he knew what it was like to overwork yourself.
but this wasn’t about that anymore. this was her fear speaking, dressed up as cruelty and she was taking it out on him.
when sunghoon finally spoke, his voice was hollow, “you really think i don't know what that feels like?”
the question was gently yielding but it landed like a slap. y/n's breath caught. for a second, she softened at his hurt tone but that weakness vanished just as quickly as it came.
“this is different.” she said again, weaker this time.
“right.” his shoulders sagged and his eyes softened, “maybe i don't know what it's like to dance in your company, but i do know what it looks like when someone i love is destroying herself and calling it discipline.”
now that should've stopped her. it should've. but there was nothing left in her capable of slowing down.
“well, i'm sorry i can't prioritise you right now.”
that seemed to crack everything between them.
all the hurtful words, all the worried glances, all the comforting caresses after hard rehearsals - all of it gone with just a few frantic words. sunghoon nodded and pursed his lips like the air had been slowly knocked out of him. there was no misunderstanding and that’s what hurt him - it hurt him that even after everything, she thought he just wanted her attention, as if he was dismissing all her hard work just because they hadn’t had a proper conversation in a while.
for the first time in weeks, he genuinely looked wounded.
her face paled in realisation, “hoon- i didn't mean-”
“no, i heard you.” he reached for his jacket, “do whatever you want.”
“sunghoon-”
“if this performance matters more than your health, more than us... then i can't stop you.”
and then he was walking toward the door.
“you’re leaving?” panic finally broke through the frustrated haze she was in just seconds ago.
“i don't want to say something i'll regret.”
as a dancer, as a performer, he knew what it meant to bleed for perfection. but as her boyfriend, as her lover, as her best friend, as someone who's seen her grow into the person she was now, he had no idea how to save her from herself.
the door clicked shut behind and the sound echoed in the apartment like something irreversible. y/n stood frozen, shaky eyes staring at the door. she stayed there for a second, then another, hoping- wishing- begging for him to run back in so that she could apologise.
but he didn't.
her knees gave out. she sank to the floor as her breath shook violently in her chest and her feeble fingers clutched at her top, right over her heart like it could've fallen out any second. her music still played in the background. still moving. still counting. still demanding. even when she couldn't anymore.
for the first time in weeks, the apartment was silent in a way that truly hurt.
and that's when she realised that somewhere between chasing perfection and running from failure, she had started losing him too.
•••
the next morning, y/n woke up with a strange heaviness in her chest.
her 6am alarm vibrated beside her and after turning it off, she remained still under the covers, eyes closed, trying to hold onto the last remnants of sleep. her memory of last night came back all at once: the argument, her harsh voice, the look on sunghoon’s face when her words landed, the sound of the door closing behind him.
her eyes opened slowly to the pale grey light filtering through the curtains, the bedroom being washed in the quiet blue of the early morning. her body ached in ways that had become so familiar she barely registered them anymore, her shoulders tight and sore as her calves practically throbbed from yesterday’s rehearsal.
without thinking, her hand moved across the mattress to the space beside her. his space.
she was met with cold sheets and an untouched pillow. her breath caught. he never came back. that thought hit her harder than she expected it to and something painful tightened beneath her ribs as she stared at the empty space. maybe he had gone to the dorm after leaving. maybe one of the members had convinced him to stay over.
or maybe he simply hadn’t wanted to come home.
that possibility hurt the most. she swallowed hard and blinked against the sting gathering behind her tired eyes. for a second, she just wanted to stay there, the curl up in the sheets and hug his pillow as she slept but the thought barely had time to form before reality came crashing back in.
two weeks. she only had two more weeks until the winter gala.
so she dragged herself up as the words blared in her mind like an alarm; quick shower, skincare, hair tied up, tights, wrap top, warm-up layers. it was almost mechanical, as though her body knew the sequence better than her mind did. by the time she stepped out into the hallway, mind already drifting to what she had to practice today, she froze as she came to the living room.
it was dim. the curtains were still drawn against early light, and her eyes then travelled to the couch.
sunghoon.
he was curled awkwardly, still in the clothes from last night. his hoodie was half-zipped, one arm tucked underneath his head in what clearly had been an attempt to make himself comfortable, though the angle of his neck looked painfully wrong. one of the throw blankets had slipped halfway down his legs, leaving him barely covered.
she stared at him. he had come home. at some point in the night, after she’d fallen asleep, he came home.
but he didn’t come back to her and that realisation hit like a physical blow to her heart - he’d been here the entire time and still the space between them had never felt wider. her heart clenched. he must’ve been so uncomfortable, the couch being too short for his long legs, and yet he’d still chosen that over their bed.
over being beside her.
because of what she said. because she’d pushed him so far that even coming home didn’t mean coming back to her.
guilt washed over her immediately. slowly, carefully, she moved closer. up close, he looked exhausted, his lashes seated softly against his cheeks, his breathing slow and steady. he looked peaceful for the first time in weeks, too peaceful for her to ruin.
god, she missed him. she missed being close enough to look at him properly, she missed spending mornings tangled with him in the sheets, missed the easy touches and the soft kisses and the warm hugs that once filled every part of their life together. these past few weeks had turned them into strangers sharing the same space - they’d pass eachother in the doorway, eat at different times, sleep on different schedules, barely touch, barely speak.
and now, seeing him here, something tender and heartbreaking unfurled inside her. she crouched beside the couch and gently, she let her hand reach out and slide into his hair. it was soft, warm beneath her touch as she smoothed the dark strands back from his forehead. the simple familiarity of it nearly undid her. her touch was featherlight and hesitant as if she was afraid she no longer had the right to touch him at all.
his breathing shifted but he didn’t wake up.
leaning down, she pressed the softest kiss to his cheek.
“i’m sorry.” y/n whispered as her fingers lingered in his hair for one final moment before she forced herself to stand. she let him sleep because for once, he looked rested. because she loved him too much to wake him.
and as she slipped out of the apartment with tiny tears fluttering at her waterline, the room fell silent once more. a few seconds passed before sunghoon’s eyes opened - he felt all of it, the kiss, the apology whispered against his skin, her nimble fingers in his hair. his heart ached, still as raw as it had been the night before, as he stared up at the ceiling.
he was still hurt. god, it hurt so much to be this apart from her.
but the tenderness of her touch stayed with him long after she already left.
•••
the studio felt wrong when she stepped in.
usually it would be alive with movement as different dancers arrived with coffee cups in their hands and bags over their shoulders, the distant sound of piano scales coming from one of the practice rooms, the soft tap of pointe shoes against the corridor as some people warmed up or hurried from one studio to the next.
today, that rhythm felt off. the building wasn’t silent, literally, but the usual bustle of it felt off.
it was quiet and that quiet made her skin prickle.
the atmosphere shifted as soon as she opened the door to one of the larger performance rooms. there was a subtle pause in conversations as most people turned toward her, and then whispers started - not loud but enough to echo against the high ceilings and enough for her to feel instantly confused and anxious.
one of the girls near the far mirror glanced at her and then leaned to the dancer beside her, whispering something behind the rim of her bottle. y/n watched the other girl smirk, eyes trailing back to her. another pair by the barre exchanged a look that felt too pointed, too judgemental. someone laughed under their breath. someone tying their shoes stopped just to stare at y/n walking in.
she tightened her grip on her bag as a cold unease began to creep up her spine. what the hell was happening this morning? her gaze moved across the room as her steps faltered a bit - she waited for something familiar, someone to smile or wave or complain about the schedule as always.
instead, she found pity. disappointment. distance.
before she could even set her bag down, one of the performance assistants approached her from the corner of the room. y/n straightened up when she saw how composed her expression was, how serious she looked.
“y/n, the manager wants to see you.”
the words landed strangely.
“what?”
the assistant gave her a small, unreadable smile.
“in his office.”
her heart gave a sudden, sickening drop. without another word, she turned and walked back out into the hallway, the whispers behind her getting louder now that she wasn’t looking at them. each step toward the office felt wrong, too slow, too loud. the corridor stretched endlessly in front of her, the framed posters from past galas and performances lining the walls like ghosts.
her eyes caught briefly at the principal lead from last years gala, the girl’s glossy lips stretched into a smile in front of a gold-embossed poster, poised beneath the lights in a crown of silver and crystal.
this year, that was supposed to be her.
by the time she reached the office door, her hand had gone cold around the handle. she knocked once and took a deep breath when the voice on the other side muttered a simple “come in.”
the door clicked shut behind her as she walked into the faint smell of coffee and paper. the performance manager sat at his desk, posture immaculate, hands folded neatly in front of him. his expression was unreadable in the way only authority figures seemed to master - carefully neutral, almost detached. it made dread bloom in her chest violently and she didn’t know why.
“y/n! please, take a seat.” he said with a polite smile, offering her the seat on the other side of his large oak desk.
she walked over but didn’t have it in her to sit down, her legs were practically shaking with nerves.
“what’s wrong?” her voice came out shakier than she expected.
for a second, he said nothing. he folded his hands more tighter, and looked at her with a kind of professional calm that made her want to be sick.
“we’ve been reviewing your performance in recent rehearsals, and the practice show that took place last week.”
her heartbeat stumbled. then began pounding. hard.
“what about it?” the words barely made it out, her eyes never leaving his as if she was worried she wouldn’t hear him properly if she looked away.
he paused. a pause that stretched too long, too heavy, too deliberate, like he was allowing the silence to do some of the damage for him. y/n stood frozen, her knuckles paling with how tight she gripped the strap of her bag. her pulse thudded so loudly in her ears that for a moment it was the only sound in the room.
and then he said it.
the exact thing she was dreading.
“we’ve decided to recast the principal role.”
for a second, it didn’t make sense. the words hung in the air, clean and sharp, yet somehow it was impossible for her to understand. it was as if the language itself failed her, as if the sentence was spoken in a voice she recognised but in a meaning her mind refused to accept.
recast.
principal role.
those words repeated in her head again and again, broken fragments stripped of context.
recast the principal role.
“…what?” her lips parted. she could only stare at him like she was waiting for him to correct himself, to laugh and tell her it was a joke or a prank or a misunderstanding, or some weird mistake in scheduling or casting for another role. she blinked at him blankly, and whatever light she had in her eyes slowly started to fade, “..what do you mean?”
“your performance quality has declined.”
“no.” the word left her before she could stop it, chest tightening to suddenly that it hurt. her breath caught somewhere between her lungs and her throat, refusing to move, “no, it hasn’t.”
the man lowered his gaze to an open file on his desk. he was looking at paper, at notes, at typed-up observations and rehearsal reports like he was reading numbers from a spreadsheet instead of dismantling everything she spent her entire life building.
“the choreographers have reported that you’ve missed multiple cues in recent rehearsals.” he said evenly, “your stamina has visibly worsened and your physical consistency has become unreliable.”
each word was a blade to her heart.
missed cues.
stamina.
unreliable.
suddenly, everything came rushing back to her like a flicker of memories - the sleepless nights, the mornings she left before sunghoon was even awake, the dinner left untouched, the cold sting of ice packs against her swollen feet, the purple bruises blooming all over her legs. the palpable hurt in sunghoon’s eyes whenever she declined even having a meal with him. every sacrifice, everytime she neglected him, every piece of herself she’d stripped away in pursuit of perfection for this role.
“i can fix it.” the words tumbled out, panic rising in her chest, “i just need a little more time. there’s still a week left, i can stay later, i’ll redo every section if i have t-”
“y/n.”
“no, please!” she cut in, stepping closer to the desk, “please, just give me one more rehearsal, one more full run-through. i can prove it to you- i know i’ve been off, i know that, but i can fix it! i’ve come too far-”
her hands were shaking now, “please don’t do this. please.”
“the decision has already been made.”
that was it.
that was the moment everything inside her shattered as the finality in his voice left no room for argument, no crack for hope to slip through. her stomach dropped so violently she had to brace one hand against the edge of the chair to steady herself.
“no…” she whispered, barely audible, tears brimming her eyes, “no, you can’t do this.”
for the first time since walking into the office, the careful mask she’d been holding together began to fracture.
“you can’t do this- i gave everything for this.”
still, he looked at her with maddening calm, “we’re concerned for your condition, y/n. we need someone stable.”
“what?”
stable. she could’ve laughed. as if she were unstable, as if she had become the problem, as if the pressure and the scrutiny and the impossible standards and constant threats of replacement hadn’t somehow turned her into her own failure. as if they hadn’t built the very fear that consumed her.
“you are physically declining.” another blow straight to her heart, “we don’t know how much longer your body can sustain this pace. your ankle is clearly compromised, your stamina has dropped and you’ve been pushing through visible exhaustion. some of the girls have reported to seen bruises all over you. we can’t risk putting you on stage in this condition.”
then, a lot quieter, he added, “we’re sorry. you can’t take as much time as you need to rest your ankle.”
sorry. that word felt insulting. that entire sentence felt insulting.
“don’t do that..” she shook her head harshly, her tears now freely falling down her cheeks, “don’t act sorry after pushing me this hard. i did everything you asked…” she sniffled and her throat constricted but she swallowed past the lump, swallowed past the heartbreak and kept going, “i did every late night, every correction, i watched the videos again and again. i ruined myself for this!”
“we never asked you to destroy your health.”
“of course. you only ever made it clear that if i messed up, even a little, someone else would take it! i tried to avoid that!” she bitterly laughed, “i pushed myself for you. for this company.”
silence. he said nothing. he didn’t even deny her words and somehow that’s what broke her the most. because he knew what dancers went through to get this role, he knew the behind the scenes of the role and how physically demanding and mentally straining it can get, yet he didn’t say anything at the time.
he kept quiet and now… just as she’s so close to the finish line, he wants to act. he’d casted her because of her talent and personality and elegance, he’d watched her ruin herself, he’d watched her get attacked, get judged, get overworked and now he’d decided to cut her off?
that’s when she realised that all the pain and fear, everything she’d done to make herself untouchable, trying to build a crown so flawless no one could touch her - none of it had been enough. she’d let her ambition consume her so much that she lost herself in the process and that had been her ultimate downfall.
she turned and left without another word.
she had nothing else to say and she knew that if she stayed another second, she was certain she’d fall apart right there on the floor.
and she refused to let him see that too.
•••
she barely made it out the building.
the posters she blindly rushed past now felt like cruel reminders, the rehearsal rooms felt far too distant and the familiar music playing throughout almost made her sick. by the time she pushed through the side exit of the performance hall and stumbled into the narrow street beside it, the cold morning air hit her like a slap.
her lungs tightened so violently that she genuinely thought she might collapse right there against the brick wall. her breaths came in shallow, sharp pulls, too fast to steady herself, too thin to fill her lungs properly. her vision swam, hands shook so badly she nearly dropped her phone.
she was on the verge of a panic attack and there was only one person she wanted to call. only one person her heart reached for on instinct no matter what happened, no matter how chaotic things had gotten between them. whenever something but this badly and the word seems to crack beneath her feet, she always ran to him.
sunghoon answered on the second ring.
“y/n?”
his voice was all she needed for the years to spill harder. not graceful, quiet tears but sobs that had her knees weakening and her body lowering to the curb. they were humiliating. broken. heartbreaking.
“h-hoon..”
sunghoon immediately stood straighter from where he was leaned against the kitchen counter with his protein shake. his heart rate spiked as soon as her shrilling cries came through his speaker.
“y/n. what happened?”
she pressed a hand over her mouth, trying and failing to steady herself, “i- i can’t-”
“baby, where are you?”
the endearment in his tone nearly destroyed what little composure she had left.
“i’m at the performance hall.” she sniffled, looking up at the clear sky to make her tears stop, “side s-street.”
“i’m coming.” he said with no hesitation. no anger. no reminder of last night. no pause. just a reminder that he would always be there wherever and whenever she needed him. she doesn’t know if he declined the call or if it was all her movement but her phone went limp in her hand as she curled into herself on the edge of the empty street.
she tightened her coat around her as if it could somehow hold her together. the cold seeped through the fabric of her tights but she barely felt it - every thought in her mind was spiralling.
recast. unstable. unhealthy.
to someone else, this might’ve seemed dramatic - it was just a role, just one show in a long career that she still had ahead of her. she was only twenty-three, more roles like this would come, right? maybe from the outside it could be dismissed as something temporary, someone she would eventually move on from, and she knew she would. she knew she’d get over it but it still hurt.
it had been everything to her, so of course, letting it slip through her fingers because of her own decline hurt.
it was a moment she was supposed to prove herself. losing it didn’t feel like just losing a random role, it felt like losing the future she’d been reaching for with both hands. that’s why the panic felt consuming and why the air around her seemed so thin.
sunghoon arrived less than fifteen minutes later.
his hair was messy as if he’d just ran out the door without thinking to fix it. he was in a hoodie and sweatpants, clearly rushed, and yet in that moment, to her, he had never looked beautiful.
the second she saw him, whatever fragile composure she was clinging to shattered completely. she reached for him before he even fully crouched down - it was instinct, pure and desperate. her hands flew to the front of his hoodie and sunghoon dropped down in front of her so quickly his knees hit the pavement. both his hands came up to cup her face, warm palms a stark contrast to her freezing skin.
“hey.” he said softly, eyes scanning her with worry, “hey, look at me.”
she tried. she really did but the moment she looked at him properly, the tears came harder.
“they cut me off.” she hiccupped, “hoon, th-they took the role.”
something quick and sharp flickered across his face. hurt. anger. disbelief. his jaw tightened as the words settled in and a cold fury rose so fast it almost startled him. they took it away? after everything? he couldn’t believe it. after watching as she slowly wore herself down until there was almost nothing left of her, they’d simply taken it away?
a part of him wanted to march straight into that building and demand how they could possibly justify this. how they could watch someone reach the absolute edge of the cliff and then punish them for breaking under the weight of it.
but then she made this small, broken sound in the back of her throat, and all that anger instantly simmered.
her. she came first.
always.
his entire body softened as he pulled her forward into his chest, “baby, it’s okay- hey.” one hand slid to the back of her head while the other began to rubbing slow, soothing circles over her back, “i’ve got you. i’ve got you.”
her fingers desperately twisted into his hoodie and she clutched him so tightly it almost hurt, like some part of her was terrified that if she let go, he might disappear from her life too. sunghoon could feel every tremble, every shaky breath, every whine, every fractured exhale and his chest tightened so painfully. he lowered his face, pressing a kiss to her hair, then to her temple, his hand never stopping its gentle movement on her back.
“i’m sorry. i’m so- sorry, hoon.”
sunghoon pulled back just a tiny bit to look at her properly, his palm now cupping the side of her face, “what?”
“i was horrible to you. i said awful things and hurt you when you were only trying to h-help me.” she forced out through the river of tears, “i was so scared and i took it out on you.”
his heart ached, not just from hearing her say this but from how devastated she looked. he brushed damp strands of her hair back and his thumb gently wiped beneath her eyes.
“angel.” he called, “look at me.”
she didn’t, still sputtering out mumbles into his chest, shaky fingers tightening even more, “i didn’t mean it- god, i s-swear i didn’t. i’m so proud of you and how far you’ve come, i don’t know what was wrong with me-”
“baby.”
“you’re the strongest person i know and i’m so happy for all of your achievements. i-i was an idiot and i was stupid and you were still being nice- fuck- h-hoon…” her breath cracked and sunghoon pressed his palms into her cheeks, pulling her up to look at him.
“y/n.” his eyes bore into her teary ones, “my love. listen to me… i’m sorry too.”
her brows pulled together with confusion as he let out a slow breath, “i shouldn’t have walked out last night. i shouldn’t have left you alone.”
“no, don’t say that.” she immediately shook her head, “you did nothing wrong. you were worried for me out of love and i was too far gone to see it.”
something in him cracked a little at those words. he leaned forward and pressed a long, lingering kiss to her forehead, his lips staying there for a moment longer than necessary. he could feel his own eyes prickling with tears but he held back, stayed strong because he needed comfort right now, because he didn’t want to distress her any further.
“you were hurting.”
“i still hurt you.”
his arms tightened around her and for a few minutes, neither of them said anything. he simply just held her with all the tightness of an embrace they hadn’t had for months. sunghoon grounded her with every gentle pass of his hand, every kiss to her hair, her eyes, her temple, her cheek. small, tender touches as if he could kiss all her pain away.
then, very lowly, she mumbled, “you didn’t come to bed last night.”
he crumbled at her sad tone, “i did. you looked deep in sleep, i didn’t want to disturb you.”
she looked up at him from his chest, “you could never disturb me.”
“i didn’t know if you wanted space or were still mad at me.”
she pouted at that, tears fluttering at her eyes yet again, “i was never mad at you in the first place.” then she tucked herself back into his chest, “no matter what happens, please always come back to bed. i missed you. i don’t like sleeping without you.”
at that, he smiled faintly and kissed her hair for the nth time, “noted.”
eventually, once her tears had dried up and her heavy breaths had softened into calm ones, he carefully helped her into the passenger seat of his car, which she sank into with exhausted relief. sunghoon didn’t start the car straight away. instead, he reached over and took her hand, threading their fingers together and giving it a reassuring squeeze, all while he quietly asked, “what do you want to do next?”
she took a breath before answering, “they said i should rest for my ankle.”
his expression tightened - of course now thy wanted to talk about rest.
he looked at her for a long moment, his gaze caring and endearing before telling her they were going to get it checked properly. there was no room for argument in the softness of his voice so y/n didn’t argue - she knew it was long overdue. so she squeezed his hand, let him kiss her fingers as he drove her straight to the hospital.
it was like a silent reminder that he was there.
even after the fragile paper crown shed built for herself finally crumpled in her hands, there was something almost unbearably comforting knowing that he would always be there.
•••
2 months later
healing no longer looked like collapse.
it no longer looked like shaking hands or tears mixing with the flow of the shower. it had become something less visible, something peaceful. healing, y/n learned, was rarely dramatic. it was made up of ordinary moments that didn’t seem important until she looked back and realised what they had carried her through.
her healing process included slow mornings wrapped in hoodies that smelled faintly of laundry detergent and sunghoon, curled into the corner of the couch with a blanket and her favourite tea. it was sunlight spilling across the apartment in long, golden rectangles while she sat on the rug, reading a new novel she’d come across. some days she managed it, some days the words blurred and she ended up staring at the same page for twenty minutes.
the living room had gradually filled with evidence of all the evidence.
a sketchbook lay on the coffee table, its pages filled with half-finished pencil drawings and soft sludges of colour, a small paint set sat by the window with brushes soaking in a jar because she kept forgetting to clean them properly. one of her friends had forced a book into her hands. one day, her friend had gifted her a whole basket full of yarn and a crochet kit in the hopes of helping her find a new hobby.
sunghoon noticed all of it.
he saw the way she moved at a calmer pace, the way she started opening the curtains in the mornings again, the way loud laughter echoed in the apartment. she tried to remember who she was when ballet hadn’t taken over, she tried to exist without constantly feeling like she had to earn her own worth.
her ankle healed three weeks after that day he’d taken her to the hospital. the swelling went down and the bruises gradually faded and by the end of the month, there was almost no viable sign that it had ever been as bad as it was. but sunghoon knew that some injuries didn’t live in places anyone could see - sometimes he’d find her by the kitchen counter, one hand against the edge as she moved through familiar ballet positions with quiet instinct while waiting for her coffee to brew.
just a slow rise or a careful angle of her arm, a measured extension. nothing strenuous or reckless. just her muscles moving through memory.
her body still remembered what her heart was still trying to forgive. he never interrupted.
instead, sunghoon would lean quietly against the doorway and watch with a twinkle of awe in his eyes - no worry or fear for her health. he’d stare with something soft, something bittersweet, because there was sadness, yes, but there was also peace beginning to take root.
a week after she’d been dismissed, the winter gala took place.
the whole week, sunghoon had been prepared to distract her. he half-planned dinner reservations, maybe a late night drive across the city to cheer her up, maybe a movie marathon if she wanted to stay inside. it had only been a week and he wanted to do anything to keep her from seeing the stage that should’ve been hers.
but when he carefully suggested going out, y/n only looked up from the sofa and smiled.
“i think i want to watch it.”
he stared at her, raising his brows, “you sure?”
she nodded, steady, “i’m sure.”
so they did. the tv cast soft light across the living room as the performance began, the familiar theatre appearing on the screen in polished greys, silvers and crystals. y/n sat tucked into the corner of the couch, her still-healing ankle resting comfortably across sunghoon’s lap after he’d just massaged in the cooling gel and wrapped it warmly.
he looked at her more than the tv.
she was smiling a genuine smile. there was a bit of grief in it, yes, but it no longer consumed her. when the new lead came on screen, she tilted her head slightly, observing the movement with the specificity of someone who knew every count.
“they changed that transition.” she murmured softly.
sunghoon glanced at the screen but had absolutely no clue what she was referring to. he kept raking his eyes back to her - there was no bitterness in her gaze, only quit observation and pride for the new woman presenting the lead. there was a kind of detached fondness.
when it had ended, she clapped softly, then leaned back into the cushions and exhaled, “it was beautiful.”
sunghoon pulled her closer with an arm around her shoulder, squeezing her hand and she squeezed back gently. it hurt, he knew, he could tell by the faint tears lining her waterline, but he knew she wouldn’t let that hurt consume her.
•••
currently, y/n sat on the couch, scrolling through her phone.
the city had begun to settle into the slow part of the evening that always felt a little cinematic. sunghoon had cleared the dinner dishes away as y/n quietly curled into her favourite corner of the couch, half-watching something on her screen an half-listening to the gentle sounds of sunghoon moving around the kitchen.
she barely looked up at first when he approached, expecting him to sit beside her like he always did. but when she lifted her gaze, there was a certain look in his eyes that made her pause - soft, unreadable and boyishly secretive.
she narrowed her eyes in amused suspicion, “what?”
his lips curved, “get your coat.”
“that sounds ominous.”
“it’s a surprise.” he chuckled, “trust me.”
“the last time you said to trust you, i ended up trying tteokbokki so spicy i cried.”
sunghoon let out a breathy laugh, “you survived.”
“barely.”
“just get your coat, woman.” he rolled his eyes as he went to put his own shoes on and y/n chuckled to herself, still following after him. by the time they were in the car, she had already turned fully in her seat to face him, arms folded, eyes narrowed in suspicion.
“where are we going?”
“you’ll see.”
she scoffed, “that’s not an answer.”
“it’s the only thing you’re getting.”
y/n leaned back with a quiet huff, but it didn’t last long because within seconds, she was eyeing him again, gaze flicking between his face and the road ahead.
“why are we going so late?” she tried again in hopes that her sweet, curious tone could get something out of him, “it’s like… what, almost ten?”
“mhmmm.”
“hoon.”
he hummed again, far too calm for someone basically being interrogated.
“and what’s in the bag?” she added on, subtly pointing to the backpack he’d grabbed from their bedroom and shoved in the backseat.
he shrugged, mumbling “stuff.”
“stuff?” she mimicked, “you’re so annoying.”
that earned her a quiet smile from him - one that tugged at the corner of his mouth at her stubborn attempts to get an answer. he interlocked his fingers with hers in her lap, trying to soften the teasing dismissal as he brought their hands up to his lips.
“just wait.”
“you know i hate surprises.”
“you’ll like this one.” he kissed her hand, “i hope.”
y/n sighed, dramatic but not entirely serious, sinking back into her seat. she turned to watch the city pass by instead, though every now and then her gaze flickered back to him in curiosity. the rest of the drive passed like that: with y/n asking him in different ways, him dodging just as easily until eventually she just gave up with a tiny smile and decided to play some music instead.
when the car finally slowed and turned to a stop in a familiar area, y/n straightened in her seat.
“hoon.” he parked without answering, unbuckling and reaching for the backpack in the back. she followed his actions, momentarily paused, “…why are we at the hybe building?”
“come on.”
“what-”
he was already walking to her side to open the door before she could argue any further. his hand found hers and despite the confusion, she let him lead her inside. the building was a little quieter than it usually was, the late hour leaving most of it still and dim, but they still passed the occasional staff member or trainee who offered polite nods upon seeing sunghoon.
y/n’s footsteps echoed softly down the dark carpeted hallways as he led her to the elevator, taking her three floors underground, “you’re seriously not going to tell me why we’re here?”
sunghoon still shook his head, “almost there.”
they took a turn down a corridor she barely even recognised, descending towards one of the underground practice stages reserved for performance rehearsals. the air felt different here - it was a lot cooler, quieter, the kind of space with high ceilings and sound echoing off the walls. when they stopped infront of some double doors, sunghoon finally let go of her hand just enough to push them open.
the room beyond was dim, lit by only a few low, amber stage lights that cast a warm glow across the polished floor. the space was extremely wide, empty and still - it felt a little scary if she was being honest. she stepped inside with slow, careful steps and sunghoon followed behind her as she eyed the huge stage at the front.
“wha- sunghoon, what are we doing here?”
she turned to see him holding out the backpack. the look on his face was solemn and it was honestly causing a spark of anxiety to crawl up her spine.
“i booked this room for an hour. for you.”
“why?”
he took a small breath, “i know you worked really hard for the gala. and i know… it didn’t turn out the way it should have.”
she frowned at the sincerity in his tone as he continued, “but you put everything into that performance. even if things were a little rough along the way, you still wanted this and you worked so hard for it. it’s just… i wanted at least one person to see it all. to see what you created.”
her throat tightened at that. sunghoon zipped open the bag and y/n's eyes dropped to what he pulled out: her performance outfit, the same one she chose herself with pretty crystals and sequins embedded into the fabric, the one she had hung up in her wardrobe in special wrapping to keep it clean and fresh for the big day. she raised her brows in surprise and then he pulled out her pointe shoes.
for a second, she couldn't speak.
her fingers hovered over the items and she lifted the shoes, the familiar satin ribbons brushing against her skin. it felt like something she had buried suddenly placed back into her hands, not as something painful - but as something hers again.
“sunghoon…”
he offered her a comforting, hopeful smile, “you don’t have to if you don’t want to.”
she shook her head quickly, emotion catching in her throat, “no! i-i want to.”
“yeah?”
she smiled, eyes twinkling beneath the faint sheen of tears, “yeah- yeah, i want to.”
sunghoon smiled too, happy, and stepped back slightly, “i’ll set up the music.”
she disappeared briefly to change, her hand trembling and her head spinning at the thoughtfulness of his gesture - it felt like being given back a piece of herself she thought she’d lost. he always knew exactly how to help her when she needed it the most.
when she returned back a few minutes later, the room felt even quieter now. sunghoon sat in the first row of chairs, right in the centre, where his view of her was perfect. the music was ready, the lights dimmed just enough to wrap the space in a tender, white glow.
when she stepped into the centre of the floor, he stilled completely. she stood there for a few moments, letting the silence settle around her, letting herself remember the months of practice rehearsals and hours of dancing she'd put into this sequence.
then the music began.
she moved slowly at first, each step deliberate and careful - as if reacquainting herself with something deeply familiar yet newly fragile. the solo part came calmly and her body immediately adjusted, her now healed ankle making everything feel much lighter and her moves feeling a lot easier. as the music carried on, her body remembered the feeling - not the pressure or the fear but the endearment in her moves.
the way her dancing spoke for her. the way her body could tell a story no one else could.
the choreography she spent months learning and perfecting unfolded piece by piece, her lines clean, her turns controlled, her balance steady despite everything. there was an elegance to it that felt untouched by the chaos of the past months - it was soft, but strong. fragile but unbroken.
to sunghoon, y/n looked unreal.
she looked like something carved out of light and shadow. she looked like a perfect angel, swiping across the dancefloor. she moved in perfect harmony with the music, each turn, each kick, each graceful twirl carried resilience and something quiet and healing. there was no desperation now, no frantic edge of wanting to be perfect. she was just dancing the same way she'd always done. she was dancing the same way she'd learnt and always been passionate about.
and it was the most beautiful he had ever seen her.
as the piece built, her movements grew more intense, more powerful, each step grounded in something deeper than technique. sunghoon couldn't rip his eyes away from her even if he tried. he was completely captivated, like if he blinked he might miss something. he already knew what the performance looked like, having watched it with her in their living room, curled up on the sofa as the stage version played out on screen.
back then, he'd found himself quietly replacing the dancer with her in his mind. he imagined y/n at the centre of it all, he imagined her surrounded her by the backup dancers and the lights and the props, shining like some sort of precious star.
but this... this was different.
there was a rawness to it now, something unfiltered that no stage production could replicate. the original had been fuller, grander with all the dancers and elaborate movement - but what she was doing here, alone, carried a weight that made his chest tighten. it was just her. no distractions, no embellishments, and that made it even more beautiful.
she was the sole focus, just like she always had been.
especially in his eyes.
when the final note faded, the room fell into silence once more.
y/ns breath came in sharp, quick breaths, a faint flush across her cheeks and her eyes bright. sunghoon instantly stood up and started clapping - loud, completely genuine, insanely proud. the sound echoed through the empty space, breaking the stillness in the best way possible. y/n let out a breathless laugh, and shook her head as she stepped back. it genuinely felt like a huge amount of tension had been lifted off her shoulders.
he didn't stop clapping until he reached the stage. he was pulling himself up onto the platform, instantly closing the distance between them in seconds. his arms wrapped around her tightly and he lifted her off the ground in the momentum of it.
“okay, okay-” y/n giggled into his shoulder, slightly out of breath as she held onto him, “you’re being dramatic, baby. let me go-”
“am not.” sunghoon mumbled into her shoulder, though his grip didn’t loosen. he set her back down but his hands lingered at her waist, like he wasn’t quite ready to let her go. his dark eyes searched her face, still a little awestruck, still carrying the disbelief of how good she was.
“you were…” he exhaled, shaking his head like words weren’t enough, “i don’t even know how to describe it. i’ve seen your dance so many times but that- that felt like something else.”
“yeah?” y/n’s sweet smile faltered just a little, but not from sadness. she looked down briefly, then back at him, her features gentler now, “i’m happy that i got to perform this and… i’m grateful i even had the opportunity to learn it in the first place.”
there was no pressure or lingering panic in her tone. just something steady, something quietly whole. sunghoon's hands cradled her cheeks in his palms, thumbs softly brushing her cheekbones as he looked at her with so much love, so much adoration.
“it always was yours.”
“mm, maybe.” she murmured, “but atleast this time… i actually got to finish it.”
“good.” he leaned in to kiss her temple, “because i wouldn’t have missed that for anything.”
y/n smiled at his words before leaning in, pressing a gentle kiss to his lips. it wasn't just affection, it was gratitude - for his patience, for his unwavering support, for staying even when she hadn't made it easy for him to. her hands settled against his arms, steadying herself as she kissed him a little deeper, pouring everything she couldn't quite put into words in that moment.
somehow, it didn’t feel like it was stolen from her anymore.
she had finally performed it.
for the one person she wanted there. the one person who earned the right to see it - not just the final, polished version, but everything that came and went before that too. it might not have happened the way she planned or dreamed, but it had found its way back to her.
through him. through honesty and quiet affection, and that felt more deserved than anything she’d lost.
