𝐃𝐎 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐘𝐀𝐇𝐎𝐎 ?

𝗮𝗿𝗲𝗻'𝘁  𝘄𝗲  𝗵𝗼𝗼𝗸𝗲𝗱  𝗼𝗻  𝗽𝗵𝗼𝗻𝗶𝗰𝘀  ?  📖

[literarist]

#literarist: independent & private jess mariano of gilmore girls, written by holly. heavily headcanon based + post-series focused. closely affiliated with @gilmor. 21+ and mutuals only!

this blog uses beta editor + xkit rewritten!

blogroll: @lovemaim, @casiopiea

carrd. prompts. headcanons.

[unusualraccooncreature]

I feel such a deep soul bond with this image. It is me and I am it

[mcflymemes]

THE SUITE LIFE OF ZACK AND CODY PROMPTS *  assorted dialogue from the tv show (season 1), adjust as necessary

i can shove 12 gummy worms up my nose. you wanna see?

i was blunt... i was direct... and if i do say so myself, i was pretty darn mean.

is that a threat or a promise?

i learned something from you and you learned something from me.

i can't believe i might have to wear plaid.

teach me to be smart!

i mean, this is probably the most boring hotel in the history of boring hotels.

none of them even noticed me.

do you need some help with your bags?

i'm not that strange... except when i get really nervous i can't stop talking which is odd because i'm aware of it and you'd think i'd know better but for some strange reason...

what kind of superficial airhead thinks that's cool?

are you wearing lipstick?

i protest against them.

i got dragged off by a cop!

i guess i should say goodbye. or... you could invite me to your suite?

do you know how much they cost?

it's so much nicer than the mini-van we used to live in.

is there a hall of fame for this kind of stuff?

that's what trees look like before you cut them down.

what's that on your face?

thanks for the red sox tickets!

you tend to be un-smooth.

some of this candy is older than you.

somebody ordered the "i'm sorry for what i did last night" buffet.

get us into the wedding.

we may live in a palace, but we are not royalty.

what did you set on fire?

have you seen what you're wearing?

will you guys stop fighting?

we are not fighting. we are having a creative discussion.

stop agreeing. you're annoying me now.

i'll have you know, i flunked that math test purposely just to get away from you.

are you familiar with the gear shift?

you're making me nervous with all this technical talk.

why don't we just relax, turn on the radio? would you like AM or FM?

let's find out how rich i am!

you're gonna learn to drive?

have you heard the good news?

i love the rush of the road, the wind in my hair.

they shouldn't be too hard to find. we'll just look for the car that's going in reverse.

i suppose i have a slight tendency to be a bit critical.

have you seen my kids?

which goes first, the milk or the cereal?

it's a special night. don't make me slap you.

did you just flick flour into my face?

come back here and take this banana creme pie like a man!

how would you feel if people were spreading rumors about you?

we don't have a dungeon.

i recommend you go away!

this is not a joking matter.

there's no such thing as ghosts.

just 'cause i don't need it doesn't mean it's not mine.

don't take this the wrong way.

i made it with my own two hands.

i've hit rock bottom. and i don't like rock bottom. it's so... rock bottomy.

i have about twenty different ones. which one do you want?

i actually cooked for three hours.

do you ever find yourself feeling discouraged, unfulfilled, unappreciated?

try this hot dog!

[literarist]

every day i think about how jess' season 3 arc would have been different if ASP wasn't focused on spinning him off

[literarist]

jess searing a fresh piece of salmon for his cat then microwaving a bowl of frozen mac and cheese for himself

[gilmor]

" they actually don't. technically they're tentacles that have sensory functions, " rory replies, all too aware that this might not be the time to correct him. she can't help it. she's nervous. they'd barely been seeing each other a month. the only person she's told that they're even in contact again is paris. they're still in the getting to re-know you again phase of it all. and now, this. perfect timing. " the usual reporter on the uk beat just went on maternity leave. i didn't even know they were considering me for this. i swear, jess, i would've told you sooner if i knew this was a possibility. "

she lets out a shaky breath. this feels like the end of something. " two weeks. they want me out there by the end of the month. "

[literarist]

❝ more misinformation at the hands of big iced tea. ❞ he banters back, refusing to let the ball drop, though his heart is clearly not in it. maybe because it's perched beside him on the sofa, peering up at him with imploring saucer eyes. ❝ two weeks. ❞ two weeks of bookstore outings and coffee dates and dragging each other into alleyways to claim each other with kisses, too ravaged by longing to make it back to her place. this was supposed to be the honeymoon phase, a blissful prelude to the second chance they never thought they'd get. the hard conversations weren't supposed to come for at least another month. but things with them could never be simple. jess swallows hard, his gaze darting around the apartment, looking anywhere but at her until he finally says, ❝ we're gonna need some boxes. ❞ with a decisive nod, he climbs to his feet and begins to pace. ❝ some bubble wrap, too. if we hurry, we could probably make it to staples before they close. ❞

[literarist]

i'm positive i'd remember you. // no she would not

❝ last month? the trestle gallery? you bummed a cigarette, then swiped my watch. ❞ his father's watch, to be precise, hastily shoved into a knapsack with his other earthly possessions as he fled california. a parting fuck-you courtesy of his nineteen year old self, but if jimmy had noticed, he hadn't bothered calling calling to reclaim it. or him. ❝ it's worth nothing, by the way - the watch. i tried to pawn it a few years back, and the guy said it'd be worth more as a paperweight. ❞ he wasn't sure why he'd worn it that night to begin with, a ridiculous accessory to his equally ridiculous tux. these events, a necessary evil in his line of work, always felt like somewhat of an out of body experience. if not for the watch snafu, that particular opening would have gone done in history as yet another forgettable, soul-sapping evening of mandatory fun. to be honest, he was kind of glad to be rid of it. ❝ wow! you really don't remember. have you considered a twelve-step program? i'm no expert, but i think you might have a problem. ❞

[literarist]

jess having unending patience for his mother despite everything she has put him through is insane, something something gentle parenting his parent ... god he's going to be such a great dad

[gilmor]

" please say something, " rory blurts out, finally breaking the silence that threatens to swallow them whole. she's very aware she's dropped a bomb right in his lap and if she knows jess — and god, does she know jess ( like he's a part of her, like he's a prayer on her lips in the darkest of times ) — it's going to take a while for him to process and for the whole verbal thing to kick back in.

" please, just anything. i'll even take a snapple fact. "

@literarist

[literarist]

❝ this doesn't feel like a 'slugs have four noses' kinda moment. ❞ derivative, experts might argue, but it's a step up from the usual shrug-huh combo - a non-verbal security blanket expertly honed for situations like this. while this isn't the first time rory's struck him speechless, he's out of practice. resilient as ever, he pushes on. ❝ you're ... moving to england? ❞ some silent, selfish part of him wants to plead but i just got you back - but they both knew him better than that. this was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. if anyone was going to get in the way, it wouldn't be him. there's a congratulations lodged in the back of his throat, but all he can manage is: ❝ when do you leave? ❞

[not-with-you-but-of-you]

Milo Ventimiglia as Jess Mariano in Gilmore Girls | 4.20 "Luke Can See Her Face" (14/?)

[literarist]

on leaving

this is me trying, taylor swift / "those are strings, pinnochio" 3x22, gilmore girls / i am an observer, but not by choice, fatima aamer bilal / "here comes the son" 3x21, gilmore girls / jess' letter to rory, unaired episode, windward circle / unknown / "let me hear your balalaikas ringing out" 6x08, gilmore girls / @/gloomzy, tumblr text post / "the real paul anka" 6x18, gilmore girls / the subsect, cover by @/truncheonpress / it's time to go, taylor swift

[gloomzyy]

the sexual tension between me and what i'm capable of

[literarist]

in another life jess gets to live out his almost famous dreams (his fav movie as a teenager btw) and interview bands for a living

[mcflymemes]

PROMPTS FROM THE PARENT TRAP *  assorted dialogue taken from the script, adjust as necessary

we've got a big, big day ahead of us.

now the question is, how do i get it out?

you must be new.

i would say you need some serious help.

now that's my kind of woman.

we traveled six thousand miles for... this?

it's rather picturesque, wouldn't you say?

i'll be fine. see you in eight weeks.

i'm positive i'd remember you.

sorry, wish i could, but i'm allergic.

sure. i'll take a whack at it.

why's everyone staring?

want me to deck her for you?

i'm so tired. i'm crawling back into bed and sleeping until lunch.

save yourself the aggravation. it's really disgusting.

you'll thank us for this. you'll see.

i feel so bad for you.

any of your pictures ruined?

i love oreos. at home, i eat them with peanut butter.

most people find that totally disgusting.

it's scary the way nobody stays together anymore.

will you stop thinking about your stomach at a time like this?

oh man, this is beyond coincidence. this is beyond imagination.

this is so freaky.

if you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?

that's the way true love works. history's filled with stories of lovers parted by some silly misunderstanding.

i have a brilliant, beyond brilliant idea.

oh, right. sorry, i'm just a little nervous.

you sure you know what you're doing?

oh god, i hope she likes me. please like me.

you look fantastic. what did you do to your hair?

i just love how everyone drives on the wrong side here.

now you're even talking like an american.

i'm making a memory.

i can't believe it's you.

i'm sorry, it's just... i've missed you so much.

can you believe it? it seems like it's been forever.

i didn't realize you were so beautiful.

i found a stowaway in your suitcase.

can't you manage without me?

you don't think it's too over-the-top?

come on, let's see what all the fuss is about...

i like things exactly the way they are, thank you.

now let's see what disaster awaits us.

you can't avoid the subject forever.

we kind of hit it off immediately.

i knew you were going to ask me all these questions one day.

it just didn't work out.

get into these arms, you little punk.

what happened to you? something's changed. did you get taller?

now you sound like your old self.

i made cornbread and chili.

i'm just so happy to be home.

i can't put my finger on it, but something about you has definitely changed.

when you're done, come on down. there's someone i want you to meet.

sorry, did i get you wet?

somebody grab that, please.

we've got a major problem.

are you nuts?

this is an emergency.

you've got to get back here to help me.

there's something really important i want to talk to you about.

you do an absolutely marvelous british accent.

i'm trying to tell you something!

why's everybody acting so nutty around here?

i'm afraid you're kind of missing the point.

let's discuss this calmly and rationally...

you are unbelievably out of line.

this is fantastic wine, by the way.

are you okay? would you like me to come with you?

why didn't you tell me it was you all along?

i've never been so happy in my entire life.

i'm in such major trouble here.

you're perfect for each other.

may your life be far less complicated than mine.

i can't believe it. you haven't changed at all.

i think i have to get dressed for dinner.

sometime, if we're ever really alone, maybe we could talk about... what happened between us.

you didn't come after me.

it's the wine we drank at our wedding. i now have every bottle ever made.

can we open one?

you're the only one i'd drink it with.

you don't always have to be so brave, you know.

[goodnightmemes]

RANDOM PSYCH QUOTES

❛ Nothing shuts my pie hole but pie. ❜

❛ I have a crime scene to break into. ❜

❛ There’s a cat. I want to talk to that cat. ❜

❛ There are over 400 stars in our galaxy. ❜

❛ He can’t die in there. It’s a company car. ❜

❛ The plot, unlike your hair, continues to thicken. ❜

❛ You disgust me. You make me sick to my face. ❜

❛ Tell me again why the cat gets to ride shotgun? ❜

❛ I can’t help it. My body craves buttery goodness. ❜

❛ Baby, all your facial parts, they’re in the right spots. ❜

❛ You know I’m a sympathetic crier. Just leave me be! ❜

❛ Have you heard about Pluto? That’s messed up, right? ❜

❛ I’m a classic. I never go out of style. I’m like pleated pants. ❜

❛ Dude, if you suggest Batman one more time, I will pull out your eardrums. ❜

❛ Tell me you’re wearing that because someone has to spot you from space. ❜

❛ I can’t die! I have 43 twitter followers who depend on me! Oh, and I have a child. ❜

❛ Would you stop with the dalmatians already? They’re not indigenous to firehouses. ❜

❛ Because of you I got my first B, broke my first curfew, accidentally killed the state bird… ❜

❛ A bit of trivia, the human body when drained of most of its blood will oftentimes stop working. ❜

❛ I’m never doing anything blindly with you again. I learned that lesson at the Mexican border. Twice. ❜

❛ Some people are just born evil: the kid from The Omen, The Children of the Corn, Chad Michael Murray. ❜

❛ I can not be trusted. I will tell everyone! Anyone! I was already reaching for my phone to call someone. ❜

❛ How insecure do you think I am? …Seriously. How insecure am I? I need you to tell me. Will you please tell me? ❜

❛ Hey, if I’m going to die, you better be right behind me or I will haunt your kitchen cabinets until the day you die. ❜

❛ “Save me. I’m trapped.” Hmm. I don’t want to jump to conclusions here, but this very well may be a cry for help. ❜

❛ I can’t watch Channel 8 anymore. The newscaster wears a toupee. It’s like every newscast begins with a lie. ❜

❛ People say our intense love of bunnies is creepy at our age but history will prove them to be heartless bastards. ❜

❛ Much like Lady Gaga, I was born this way. And while I don’t have a meat dress, I do have a tie made entirely of beef jerky. ❜

❛ We have a bona fide Scooby-Doo case that has fallen into our laps! Dead guy, haunted house, amusement park. Say zoinks. ❜

❛ Everything’s going to be okay, as long as you didn’t tamper with the crime scene. …You didn’t tamper with the crime scene, did you? ❜

❛ That’d be like posting it on my facebook page. If I had a Facebook page. Or the desire to share intimate life details with people I’d avoid on the street. ❜

❛ Home should be wherever you are. And the dogs we’re going to get relatively soon. So, wherever you and the fleet of pugs are, that’s where I want to be. ❜

❛ I must ask you to brace yourselves. What I’m about to expunge is not for the faint of heart. It is bold with a zesty, salty finish. What we’re up against here is no mere mortal. ❜

[williamprattz]

APPLE

[literarist]

jess is brat