𝖎 𝖈𝖆𝖓'𝖙 𝖜𝖗𝖎𝖙𝖊™

dumb writing sideblog ig.

[literatetm]

lucius fulgora.

“please, don’t call me ugly. i’m sensitive. why is it so hard to believe that someone could find me good-looking with a black eye? do you think me so unattractive? you wound me. for your sake, i’m going to pretend i didn’t hear you calling me a weirdo. by all means, do pick someone yourself. show me how much better your taste is than mine.”

“  ah,  that’s  right.  you’re  a  poor  sensitive  soul  with  your  big  broken  heart.  sorry,  shouldn’t  be  sitting  here  calling  you  names  when  i’m  meant  to  help  you  nurse  that  hurt.  now,  stay  there,  sit  tight,  and  finish  your  drink.  i’m  only  looking  out  for  you  —  in  case  someone  bruises  your  ego  and  tells  you  your  black  eye  looks  ugly.  see  you  when  i’ve  satisfied  your  need  to  see  me  flirt  with  someone.  ”

[literatetm]

ada greengrass.

“ you’re here, aren’t you? i‘ll leave you to ponder the reasons you chose to bring me, soulless as i am, dinner in the library rather than being entertained by your court jester. — that’s a pity. although, I suppose it is entertaining to watch him quake with fear if i so much as look at him. more entertaining than murder, though? remains to be seen. ”  

“  maybe  my  court  jester  isn’t  available  for  jesting  right  now,  so  i’ve  got  no  choice  but  to  settle  for  the  soulless  wicked  witch  of  the  west.  nobody  said  i  chose  to  be  here.  but  i  guess  if  we  entertain  those  thoughts  of  making  my  hilarious  absolute  fool  of  a  court  jester  quake  with fear,  i  could  choose  to  stay  here,  in  the  library  with  the  evil  witch  herself.  win-win,  yeah?  you  get  your  company,  i  get  my  amusement.  ”

[literatetm]

ianthe laris.

“ if you wanted to sit on my lap, mr calore, all you had to do was ask. i think you would look very cute like that. ”

“  would  i?  you’re  very  good  at  flattering  me,  miss  laris.  but  i  have  to  say,  you  look  much  cuter  sitting  where  you  are.  perhaps  i’ll  have  to  appreciate  this . . . arrangement.  ”

[literatetm]

lucius fulgora.

“it’s called confidence, little brother, not insanity. i know what i can bring to the table, and looking good while having a black eye is one of those things. would i look better without one? yeah, but there’s nothing i can do about that now. i will still look better than the majority of people around me. anyway, you must be pretty tame if you think finding a bruised person attractive makes someone a nutcase. who knew you were so innocent? which is why i insist that you find someone to flirt with. it’s just a conversation, not marriage. you won’t hesitate to fight, but draw the line at talking to someone for two minutes?”

“  you  say  confidence,  i  say  insanity.  the  only  reason  why  someone’d  be  stupidly  attracted  to  your  ugly  black  eye  is  if  they  got  some  weird  kink  or  is  equally  insane.   i  guess  if  you  were  to  hit  it  off  with  some  weirdo,  that’d  work  perfectly  well  for  you.  you’re  one,  too.  and  if  you  must  know,  lucius,  i’d  rather  be  called  “ innocent ”  than  be  my  batshit  crazy  brother.  —  look,  i’ll  flirt  with  someone.  just  not  someone  you  choose.  for  one,  i'm  not  trusting  your  crazy  ass.  and  for  two,  i  happen  to  think  that  i’ve  got  better  taste  than  you.  ”

[literatetm]

ada greengrass.

“ keeping me and my ridiculous need to write a phd level thesis company has its perks. besides, gisèle will survive — we would be doing her a favour, really. i’m sure she’ll see that eventually, and if she doesn’t, well. she can get a cat and call it nate instead. cute, cuddly and doesn’t talk back. who wouldn’t prefer one? ” 

“  yeah?  wanna  share  what  exactly  those  perks  are?  other  than  dinner,  which  i’m  paying  for.  and  yeah,  i  mean,  if  matheson  wasn’t  one  of  my  friends,  —  that  we  all  know  i’d  like  to  murder,  but  that’s  beside  the  points  —  i’d  agree.  a  cat  does  seem  preferable.  but  where’d  i  be  without  my  favourite  court  jester?  i’d  be  as  soulless  as  you  are,  and  that’s  not  something  i’d  want.  ”

[literatetm]

ianthe laris.

“ well, you see mr calore, as you know i am exceptionally cute. i happen to think that i look even cuter occupying this seat. don’t you agree? ”

“  and  do  tell,  miss  laris,  how  would  you  looking  even  cuter  benefit  me?  ”

[literatetm]

ianthe laris.

“ hm. i’m afraid it might. i really wanted that seat, you see. what if i just took half of it, like this? is that acceptable, mr calore? ” 

“  ah,  are  we  bargaining  now,  miss  laris?  perhaps  if  you  give  me  one  good  reason  to  allow  you  to  stay  in  this  seat,  i  might  consider  it.  ”

[literatetm]

ada greengrass.

“ right, moving on. that is not an image i wanted in my head. take a break from studying to plot murder with me? if anyone’s getting cocky, matheson is, quite brazenly so. could definitely de with being taken down a peg or two. consider it an early birthday present. in exchange, i’ll forgive you for not making me your favourite person. it wouldn’t be fair anyway, for me to be yours and you not be mine. gisèle, i am afraid, isn’t fond of sharing. i’m sure hana can relate. 

at least you’re not doing law. at this rate, i’m never leaving uni. matheson might get his wish after all if tobias gets sick of dating a girl who’s never home. but — i’ll accept that. i like you enough to tolerate comment like that so. provided that’s good enough for you, of course. ”  

“  don’t  know  if  you’ve  noticed,  but  i’m  not  really  studying  right  now.  just  here  to  keep  you  and  your  ridiculous  need  to  write  a  phd  level  thesis  —  before  even  doing  your  phd,  might  i  add  —  company.  but  if  you  want  to  plot  murder,  be  my  guest.  when  else  will  i  have  the  esteemed  honour  to  plot  murder  with  ada  greengrass?  favourite  person  or  not,  that’s  a  rare  opportunity  —  especially  when  it’s  nate’s  murder,  which  i’m  sure  gisèle  isn’t  ah,  exactly  fond  of.  ”

[literatetm]

ianthe laris.

@literatetm·

“ is this seat taken? ”

“  i’m  afraid  so.  will  this  be  a  problem,  miss  laris?  ”

[literatetm]

ada greengrass.

“ apologies, you are absolutely correct. when you text me in the evening to see if i’ve keeled over and died yet, i quake in fear and rush to the kitchen for that apple. what kind of friend would i be if i died and left you to complete your masters all on your own? and thank you, i look forward to it. i suppose i ought to publicly thank my equally brilliantly intelligent and incredibly caring friend cassius fulgora, then, for keeping me alive long enough to graduate with some semblance of sanity left. 

“ you get every colour stationary under the sun, and cum laude at graduation or your money-back guarantee. sounds like excellent motivation to spend time with your favourite person and bring her food on study dates, don’t you think? ”

“  you’re  getting  cocky.  i'm  not  matheson,  but  to  quote  him,  ‘ you’re  starting  to  make  me  think  that  you’re  in  love  with  me. ’  which  yeah,  i  know  isn’t  true  since  you  worship  nott  like  he’s  a  sex  god  —  matheson  thinks  he  is,  by  the  way  —  but  just  in  case  you  haven’t  caught  on  with  the  memo  yet,  i’m  kinda  madly,  hopelessly  in  love  with  this  woman  called  moon  hana.  pretty  sure  you  won’t  be  getting  promoted  to  favourite  person  anytime  soon,  sorry.

“  you  would  be,  though,  a  very,  very  close  second  when  i  finally  get  that  fuckin’  diploma.  anyways,  i  like  you  enough  to  send  you  good  night  texts  reminding  you  of  that  apple  sitting  forgotten  in  your  fridge.  isn’t  that  good  enough?  ”

[literatetm]

ada greengrass.

“ beg to differ, it was two cups of coffee and an apple. i hear your sarcasm, but you’ll thank me when you graduate with perfect grades and leagues beyond the rest of your cohort. not that i think you couldn’t that without me too, but now you’ll do it better.  — i was going to ask if you wanted to join, but seems like you’re already making yourself at home. so thoughtful of you, not only bringing me dinner but reading my mind too. is there anything you can’t do? ”

“  don’t  lie.  you’d  only  remember  that  apple  when  you’re  lying  in  bed  and  realising  in  terror  that  you  haven’t  eaten  a  single  thing  the  entire  day.  and  who  said  i  was  being  sarcastic?  when  i  get  that  cum  laude  at  graduation,  i’ll  be  sure  to  publicly  thank  my  brilliantly  intelligent  and  incredibly  caring  friend  ada  greengrass  for  making  sure  i  graduate  with  flying  colours.

“  hmmm,  let  me  think.  i  can’t  leave  you  to  your  own  devices,  apparently.  or  ask  you  to  buy  food  for  study  dates.  ”

[literatetm]

ada greengrass.

“ this one tracked mind successfully completed two of her assignments weeks ahead of schedule, and fully planned out a third, so who’s the real winner here? anyway, this is mutually beneficial, no? i help keep you on track academically, freeing you up to drink your two litres of water, you keep me on track with fulfilling my body’s rather inconveniently vital needs like food so i can keep my straight As and not die of starvation. win-win, in my opinion. ”

“  still  not  you.  it’s  nine  and  all  you’ve  had  all  day  is  probably  two  cups  of  coffee.  and  had  i  not  so  kindly  shown  up,  the  plan  was  to  get  two  more  cups  of  coffee  and  call  it  a  day.  it’s  a  wonder  you  haven’t  keeled  over  and  died.  but  if  it  makes  you  feel  better,  maybe  you’re  right.  whatever  would  i  do  in  university  without  my  own  personal  reminder  that  every  assignment  requires  at  least  three  drafts  before  submission?  win-win  it  is.  you  get  your  body  expiration  date  postponed,  and  i  get  my  brilliantly  written  final  submissions.  —  hope  you’re  down  for  pasta,  by  the  way.  ”

[literatetm]

ada greengrass.

“ we’ll agree to disagree on that front. and look, maybe i get a little distracted sometimes and forget about things that aren’t my deadlines, but that is the price you pay for brilliance. and for taking on an additional three subjects above the recommended course load, but that’s beside the point. good thing i have an exceptionally thoughtful, current favourite person and good friend i can rely on to bring me two coffees and food. even if said current favourite person is also a heathen sometimes. thank you.  i assume because you’re an oh-so functional graduate student, that you haven’t had about fifteen coffees today, or had to literally diarise ‘reminder to drink water’? ”

“  ah,  yes,  of  course.  how  could  i  possibly  forget  that  your  energy  levels  —  and  your  body,  to  an  extent  —  doesn’t  have  a  deadline  before  it  dies  out?  classic  me,  forgetting  that  brilliance  means  having  an  incredibly  foolish  one  tracked  mind.  but  since  you’re  so  concerned  about  me,  greengrass,  i’ll  have  you  know  that  i’ve  drank  almost  the  two  litres  of  water  a  person  would  need  daily  and  have  managed  to  not  skip  a  meal  —  unlike  a  very  certain  someone  who  is  apparently  dependent  on  their  current  favourite  person  to  make  sure  they  function.  ”

[literatetm]

ada greengrass.

“ i can think you’re a heathen and still appreciate you at the same time. but — fine. thank you for bringing me dinner and coffee. consider yourself my current favourite person. it’s possible i may not have had breakfast this morning. or lunch, for that matter. ”

“  nah,  they’re  mutually  exclusive.  it’s  one  or  the  other.  —  that’s  better.  i  mean,  you’re  just  kissing  ass  ‘cause  you  don’t  know  how  to  be  a  functional  graduate  student  and  are  terrible  at  multitasking  and  therefore  need  your  current  favourite  person  to  make  sure  you’re  fed,  but  i’ll  take  it.  here.  ”

[literatetm]

ada greengrass.

“ if i say yes, are you going to take that coffee away? ”

“  yeah,  and  the  dinner.  i’ll  just  find  someone  who  actually  appreciates  me.  ”

[literatetm]

ada greengrass.

“ unless you come with coffee…” 

“  do  you  think  me  a  heathen,  greengrass?  of  course  i  brought  coffee.  two  entire  espresso  shots,  plus  dinner.  one  shot  for  appetiser,  and  one  for  dessert.  ”

[literatetm]

lucius fulgora.

“screaming like a baby? really? i don’t recall screaming at all; going a full day without hitting someone seems to be leaving you a little confused. besides, i’m not beating myself up about it at all. i had a great time, and i bet my date tomorrow will find me all the more interesting once my eye starts to bruise. as for your little fight club, i’m civilized enough that one fight is enough for me for one day. though i’m sure you can’t relate. since i’ve tried your thing, it’s time for you to try mine. you should walk up to someone and flirt a little. you know, try to be charming for once.”

“  my  brain  works  just  fine,  but  thanks  for  the  concern.  now,  if  i  could  voice  a  bit  of  my  own  concerns,  lucius,  you  must  be  insane  if  you  think  you’ll  look  attractive  with  a  fuckin’  black  eye.  scars  are  hot  to  some  people,  yeah,  but  either  you’re  a  little  loopy  from  getting  that  punch,  or  you’re  going  on  a  date  with  an  absolute  nutcase.  and  if  the  latter’s  the  case,  i’d  very  much  not  wanna  take  advice  from  someone  who  flirts  with  weirdos.  ”