1066 words. Act II spoilers, slight angst
Pairing: Astarion x GN!Tav
The party had successfully defeated the shadow monsters in the basement of the Mason's Guild. Your friends were all worn weary from the day, but still looked to each other in victory before noticing that someone did not share their triumph. Tav? You sat on your knees in the center on several discarded shadow vestiges, the orbs glowing around you as if calling for attention. You felt drawn to it, something inside pushing you to gently press your hand against the one closest. You're overcome with emotion as a happy, faded memory flashes in your mind. It feels as though you'd been sent back in time, launched into another's body.
The others notice silent tears flow from your face, you look utterly distraught. They looked to each other for something to say before both sets of eyes landed on Astarion. It was not a secret in the camp that the two of you had gotten quite close. Astarion felt uncertainty bubbles up. He had never seen you so weepy. He was unsure how to approach anyone like this, let alone the person that seemed so untouchable. The person who seemed to make the best of every situation, and smile at the end of a hard day.
"I can feel the warmth of home, and hear the laughter of children, his children. But they laugh no more." You pick up another. "A woman holding hands with her husband-to-be. She loved him so much." And another. "This one hid for days, hearing the sound of battle come closer. All they wanted was for it to be over..." You seemed more inconsolable with each touch, looking off into the distance at something that wasn't at all in front of you. "These were once people, people who had so much to give. People's lives ripped apart by this tainted earth. I can hear their voices, I can feel their emotion. We must cure this wretched land, we mustn't let this happen to any more innocents." You were practically begging your friends despite knowing they would follow your lead. The scene became somber, but they all nodded regardless.
Astarion wanted to wipe your tears, he ached seeing you like this, but did not move. He found he had no words of comfort. If he was being honest, he didn't care much for these shadows or their past lives. He cared for you, but that too was hard to admit aloud sometimes. You collected them, and insisted on burying the memories to respect what they once were. Astarion might as well have been studying you as the group walked back outside. It was obvious the memories continued to effect you; you all but sobbed as you held them against you.
You tried pick out how many children you could hear, counting two boys and a girl. You wanted to catch the names of those lost, and their loved ones. The woman calls her soon to be husband Damien, and he calls her Melody. You try to glimpse their faces, but never manage to. Still, you feel their breath as if it were your own. Nervous and heavy, yet stifled to remain quiet. The more you learn, the more you grieve them as if they were kin. Still, you would not let go. You wanted to remember their stories.
Astarion couldn't figure out why this was so important to you. Why those memories has so deeply affected their fearless leader. They were not important to your mission, they were lost long ago. You do not share your visions. Without a word from yourself or the group, you lead them back to camp for the night. Once there, the others split to their tents, but you went a small ways away to bury the shadows. Your body visibly relaxes as your separate the orbs from your touch, both relieved and exhausted. Astarion, who had been watching the exchange, walks over to meet you. You sit on your knees, muttering well wishes to the lost souls as he sits besides you. He can tell you're a bit irritated he'd invaded your moment, so he remained quiet and waited for you to talk. He doesn't have to wait too long.
"I wish I could return these memories to their loved ones." You admit. "I can't understand why. Your big heart always does seem to allude me." He tries to joke, but he wishes he could eat the words when they just make you frown deeper. "These are lives, Astarion. Lives ruined by this curse, the cult, this evil. I... We can't save them. It isn't fair that they had to be ripped from what could have been." Astarion was taken aback by the answer, if he was honest. He felt a pang of grief as he remembered being ripped from his life to be made into a spawn. "I'm sorry. You can't save everyone." He said, trying to hide how bitter he felt. You shake your head. "I know, but...if I'd been taken by the shadows, if I had been reduced to this orb with just a glimpse of who I was... what would you do with it?" You looked him in the eyes, and saw his features soften the way they only did for you. "I'd cherish it every day. The way I cherish you." He answered genuinely. Though he didn't appreciate the thought of your death, he understood your point. "Exactly. As would I. And I would give them that comfort too, if I could. I suppose this will have to suffice." You lean your head on his shoulder, an act he welcomes. "I'm sure there are others, shadows with memories suffering inside. I know we have so much on our plate, but..."
Astarion knew what you wanted to do. If it would ease your troubled mind, he would do it for you. "Then we will find them, and you can lay them to rest. With you looking after them, my sweet, I'm sure the souls are at peace." He wasn't convinced the souls felt anything, but he wouldn't say that to you. Besides, he surely felt that way with you at his side. You smile, prompting him to place a soft kiss to the top of your head. You wonder who else you might find, what stories you might relive for them. You wonder if, somehow, these souls would help you find their friends. "I hope so."
dededos
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