|~|danny is back|~| [he/him]

tw: unhealthy behavior and noms. i don't condone anything i'm doing so please be careful. don't be mean to your body, it's trying [cw: ?? gw: 45-40 age: 19]

[little-stupid-trash]

restricting smart not hard by only eating sugary things so my heart gets all fast making me unable to eat more

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a few things that help my metabolism

bananas

cinnamon

water

literal life savers

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angry about how hard it can be to restrict when you need to remind the people around you to eat grr

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my partner said they like my stomach for some reason

hehe sorry buddy but it's gonna be gone next time i come over ;)

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got not idea how people struggle with digestion so hard fr

like i do to some degree but also coffee is right there??

i get one of them bad boys in my sistem first thing every day and imma tell ya, it works wonders. making me feel empty again every time

[b0neybb-deactivated20230220]

heres a little duck to cheer u up

𓅷

[little-stupid-trash]

honestly? i liked rice cakes before my funky eating. something about that cardboard taste is scrumdiddlyumptious

[b0neybb-deactivated20230220]

begging for strength

[little-stupid-trash]

i feel like a fucking whale. why did i eat so much yesterday? i men yeah i guess hunger build up from net eating too well for about a week but fuck.

like my piercing wasn't even doing too great either. yet i still kept eating. fucking gross.

today is a new day though. today will be better. i'm seeing my partner again and tomorrow i'll see more people again so today i'll have to behave.

also i'm not really gonna count cals still but i'm thinking of giving myself some rules for when i start counting again. like currently i don't have many rules and i think i should keep it that way for a bit but i'll probably start counting again soon [already did it like 1/2 days ago]

so i'm thinking of a higher limit and just going for it, making sure i don't binge. for that goal a limit of 800-1000 seems good for me. and once a week i'll be allowed 1200, but only if needed.

if i keep to that i should be able to lose 1-2 kgs a week. only think i'll also have to keep in mind would be keeping my metabolism good and drinking enough water. also even if i can start eating soft solids again i'll try to not get much of those.

wish me luck guys, i cannot afford for january to be like december

[little-stupid-trash]

ate actual food yesterday cause i was feeling pretty sick after new years eve [just saying but about 100 cals + 10 k steps + drügs is not a great combo]

i still wasn't able to count but i'm like 80% sure i stayed under 1800 which is basically my bmr rn.

i kinda wanted to eat more but it being sunday didn't give me too many options anyways so i stuck to cereal, a little pasta and chips [obviously coffee, water and tea too]

also i had to eat the cereal so slowly and only ate half the pasta i had in had in my bowl cause my piercing couldn't handle more so that's great ;3;

today i'll meet my partner again and honestly i'm really nervous. we had a little misunderstanding on friday that really triggered my ✨relationship trauma✨ so that was fun. but yeah i'll try to just forget about that or whatever so i can enjoy my time with them •√•

i swear tho if they didn't get me a christmas present even tho they said they wanted too i'll be kinda upset man. i even got them something i'm sure they'll like grr i just need a gift to feel better tbh

[little-stupid-trash]

happy new year fellas!

hope this one will be better than the last one and we can all get closer to our goal •√•

let's also hope we stay at least a liiitte healthier on the road to that goal tho. don't want you guys to fall over, break your neck and die ;/

[little-stupid-trash]

okay small update.

the tongue piercing is working wonders dude. i mean i'm not hardcore restricting or counting cals but i just can't have much of anything.

i did have an entire pot of soup and a glass of juice for dinner yesterday, but other than that i only had coffee, tea and some baby food so it still wasn't too much overall

i'm actually already seeing a slight difference in my thighs this is great!

[little-stupid-trash]

okay i found out why i'm so shit at restricting rn. depression is kicking my ass more than usual [woo]

but on a good note, i got my tongue pierced now and i am in pain. so now i'll be eating slowly and only soft [mostly liquid] stuff for maybe two weeks or so so that'll maybe help me restrict again.

i've been gaining so much these last two weeks and i hate it. i really got to get my shit together again.

also, i won't be very active til like mid january probably just cause i'll be at a friends and such. until then i wish you all a nice time. remember to drink enough water and take your vitamins. also minerals. those are important too

[little-stupid-trash]

okay so i might probably get a piercing in about two days and i wanted it to be a septum but i also have been wanting a tongue piercing and i just checked and i'd have to go on a liquid diet for 3-4 weeks so um.. yeah i think i need to get my tongue pierced.

only downside is that it's about 30 bucks more expensive and probably hurts way more but yk at least i won't be able to eat solids then

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i omad-ed so hard today i probably stayed under my daily limit without trying too hard.

now i'll just go for another coffee and maaaybe another low cal drink if i feel like it but either way today was less than yesterday. so proud

on another note, idk why but i almost look thinner than a week ago even tho i gained? like i weighed myself today and i gained over a kg but somehow i look thinner? this shit insane

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my plan was to have 200 cals max before dinner and now i've only had 50 hehehe

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i ligit had 100-ish cals more after dinner cause i knew having very little before christmas dinner tomorrow would be hard and now i feel like i've eaten a normal amount??

i had under 800, which ik might be a lot to others, but that is still very little compared to what a human actually should eat a day. i know that. then why does it feel like i've eaten like a normal person??

this sucks man, fuck this ò√ó