falling out of love
jungkook / angst
short story
a/n: im stoned and sleep deprived and wrote something. it’s shit but i felt inspired. i love you guys. <3
There was nothing in your life that could replace the way it felt to be in his arms. No matter how many days passed, how many other people you made love to, nothing could replace the softness of his skin.
His smile, his laugh. Everything about him. It made your heart ache with pain. The fighting didn’t seem so bad anymore, stupid even, now that you looked back on it.
You both could have made it work, maybe. If both your personalities didn’t clash so much and if you weren’t such a short-tempered hot head.
Why did he always have to be so god damn patient with you? Sometimes you just wanted him to yell back instead of stare and nod. All thoughts of wanting a fight back would leave once you remembered what happened when he did.
A yelling match. Running out in anger. Somehow you ended up crying on the floor and Jungkook had driven off after slamming the front door shut. Every relationship had fights, every relationship had ups and downs.
But, the ups were always so fucking amazing, and the downs like literal hell.
There was no in between, no balance. Being with Jungkook was like a high that never ended. How his lips were always so soft, tracing every sensitive part of your body.
The way his hand fit so perfectly in yours. His stupid shenanigans like how one time you both went for a drive at 2 AM, stoned as fuck, and looked at the stars in one of the parks.
Needless to say, the next morning when you went back to the apartment, the boys had a few eyebrow raises at the hickies littering your neck. The makeup artists nearly had a fit trying to cover the dark purple marks on Jungkook.
Fuck, that was an amazing night.
Sometimes you wished you could relive that night under the stars. The moonlight shining off both your naked bodies. The giggles had been contagious, the conversations wild. You both always had the most stupid conversations.
And you missed that.
He always loved it when you would lay on top of him so he could hold you close and run his fingers through your hair. It was the simple things you missed. The simple touches, the laugh, smiles, adventures.
It could have gone on forever. He had even told you one time that he could picture growing old and still having you beside him. If only the fighting hadn’t had been so bad.
All over jealousy, the fame, the sleepless nights, the traveling, the fans who would stalk you, the hate.
It was all too much, and you felt like a pussy because of it. You felt weak. Love was supposed to withstand all things, but some things you just could not withstand.
Some things were just too much, and saying goodbye was almost too much for you to get through.
six months felt like six hours and six years altogether. Maybe someday he would take you back, but not when you were still so unsure of who you were. Maybe when you had grown a bit, lived alone, seen things from the other side.
But all you wanted right now was to be wrapped up in his arms, face buried in his chest, breathing in his warm smell of perfume and baby lotion.
Falling out of love with someone was hard, but it was especially hard when you knew it was because you had fallen out of love with yourself.
It was time to reconnect, discover yourself, be someone outside of a relationship. After putting in three years into Jungkook, it felt like you didn't even know who you were outside of that anymore.
Broken, craving touch and love, a nobody
But, maybe someday you would feel like a somebody. Somebody who knew how to handle arguments and be level headed, who knew how to be calm and know themselves.
Maybe someday you could fall in love with yourself, and fall in love with him again.
missed called from jungkook
“Hey, I know it’s been a few months. I just wanted to talk to you and see if you’re doing alright . . . I’ve been thinking about you. A lot actually. I just want you to be okay. You don’t have to call back, I just had to say something. Just . . . let me know how you’re feeling. Maybe we can talk again in a while, I have a feeling things will be okay. Um, call me back if you want.
bye.