my name is brooke ☽ twenty-three ☽ i write sometimes but it is mostly headcannons & most of my posts are gifs and photos with my silly thoughts ☽
i tried my best at putting these in chronological order but i changed my username a couple times since posting for CoD and i tried to do it oldest to newest
gifs photo thoughts headcannons drabble
🍓 simon riley
- his comics for anyone who wants to read them (warnings: v*mit, blood, death, murder, torture, sexual assault, and more i can’t remember)
- getting caught in a blizzard d,nsfw
- i want this gif tattooed on my eyelids g,sfw
- ghost would make you wear his dog tags p,t,nsfw
- skull gloves p,nsfw
- i wanna smooch his cute face p,sfw
- ghost wears jewelry p,h,sfw
- one ticket to barbie please p,sfw
- i wanna give him p,nsfw
- i wanna **** his **** so bad g,nsfw
- i can take them p,nsfw
- i can’t get over how huge this man is p,sfw
- something about these pictures p,nsfw
- genuinely need this man p,nsfw
- wanna hear him whimper g,nsfw
- i need him so bad p,sfw
- i just want a hug from him g,sfw
- my first ever request h,nsfw
- the only car i can picture him in p,h,nsfw
- ghost sending price a video p,nsfw
- mw3 gameplay trailer p,sfw
- and my man thank you to my man p,sfw
- semi truck driver!simon g,nsfw
- can i say something p,sfw
- buzzfeed unsolved t,sfw
- i am a whore for one man only p,nsfw
- ghost’s full name h,sfw
- being in a secret relationship d,nsfw
- simon riley on a lazy sunday morning t,sfw
- american ghost t,sfw
- american ghost pt 2 t,sfw
- it’s not even an obsession anymore g,nsfw
- ghost and simon are two different beings t,sfw
- simon riley being your family’s pool boy t,sfw
- skeleton tattoos p,t,nsfw
- need him to wear this mask p,nsfw
- how i picture ghost’s body p,t,sfw
- transformers au t,sfw
- lion hybrid!ghost t,d,nsfw
- simon riley is the type of guy to t,d,sfw
- he looks funny p,sfw
- what ghost tastes like p,nsfw
- he has freckles t,h,sfw
- single-dad!simon riley t,sfw
🍓 kyle garrick
- gaz appreciation pt 1 p,sfw
- gaz appreciation pt 2 p,sfw
- gaz appreciation pt 3 p,sfw
- gaz appreciation pt 4 p,sfw
- gaz appreciation pt 4 p,nsfw
🍓 john mactavish
- this man can have me p,nsfw
- soap with his hair grown out p,sfw
- he’s so pretty p,sfw
- christmas play t,sfw
- we don’t talk enough about this uniform p,sfw
- feral soap t,nsfw
🍓 john price
- ghost sending price a video p,nsfw
- i’m not gonna be able to handle this scene g,sfw
- john price with nipple piercings t,nsfw
- his tummy g,sfw
🍓 farah karim
🍓 alex keller
🍓 alejandro vargas
- i wont him so bad p,sfw
🍓 rudy parra
🍓 valeria garza
- mommy p,sfw
🍓 phillip graves
- live action phillip graves p,sfw
🍓 roach sanderson
🍓 captain mactavish
- he’s babygirl p,sfw
🍓 keegan russ
- i can take them p,nsfw
- girl dinner p,sfw
- lend a hand g,t,nsfw
🍓 könig
- i can take them p,nsfw
- how könig looks when he’s got you all tied up p,nsfw
- i wanna climb him like a mountain p,sfw
- könig is a colonel ? p,sfw
- colonel könig pt 2 p,nsfw
- könig with a back tattoo p,nsfw
- the only hair i can picture könig having h,sfw
- this is what könig looks like when i’m p,nsfw
- 141 + könig core p,nsfw
🍓 nikto
🍓 sebastian krueger
🍓 141 (+ los vaqueros + ghosts + kortac)
- everyone stop and look at these p,nsfw
- 141 + könig core p,nsfw
- 141 oiled up p,nsfw
- mw3 trailer screenshots p,sfw
- natasha romanoff flashbacks p,sfw
- i watched a modern warfare (2019) play through t,sfw
- doing skincare with them t,sfw
- would they pee on you in the shower ? (crack!fic) h,sfw
- happy valentine’s day ❥ p,sfw
- cold-hearted emotionless!reader d,sfw
- video of me and tf 141 g,nsfw
- they think you’re a traitor t,sfw
- finding out your teammates are werewolves d,sfw
- 141 being possessive t,nsfw
- you’re “one of the guys” until d,nsfw
- stray kitties in da house t,sfw
🍓 soapghost (x reader)
- soap and ghost who p,nsfw
- oc soapghost p,sfw
- ghoap core g,sfw
- i need them biblically g,nsfw
- riding their face with the mask on p,t,nsfw
- soap has grindr t,sfw
- they have a crush d,nsfw
thank you @greatstormcat for teaching me how to put links 🤍
content warnings: hangover (nausea, headache, difficulty remembering), unknowing consumption of a recreational drug (mirthroot, past), suggestive themes, language
word count: 9.1k
synopsis: Azriel was always meant to be yours.
trope: childhood friends to lovers
part 1 ~ part 2 ~ part 3
my masterlist
~ ~ ~
Azriel was on the floor.
And he was shirtless.
And drooling.
The light beaming in through the window felt like an axe against your skull, the pain nearly cleaving you in two before you ducked your head under the pillows.
Pillows that were definitely not yours.
You flew up into a sitting position again, leaning over the bed to take in the male below.
Azriel was not wearing pants.
He was wearing underwear, thank the Mother, but it didn’t stop the panic that was rapidly climbing up your chest. Not when you were wearing only a too large shirt that smelled like him, and had nothing underneath.
At least Azriel was on the floor? But that almost made everything worse, because you had shared a bed more times than you could count. You had shared a bed last week. Why would he feel the need to sleep on the floor if—
A flare of pain in your head made you wince, your eyes snapping shut as you tried to take steadying breaths. This was the worst fucking hangover. Your mouth was dry and tasted foul, your hair was a wreck, your head was throbbing, and the light spilling into the room felt like staring into the sun.
You cracked your eyelids open slowly, forming small slits that were just enough to make out Azriel still sprawled on the floor, stomach down and wings splayed haphazardly, with just a single pillow for his head to rest on. Your gaze caught on a glass of water on the night stand, and your eyes widened as you grabbed it. You drank only half of it, your stomach revolting at the first large gulp, and the sudden wave of nausea had you taking deep breaths again.
You blindly reached to set the glass back on the nightstand, but in your lazy effort, you sat it on the edge, and it went clambering to the floor. Or—more specifically—on top of the male asleep on the floor. Thankfully, the glass didn’t shatter, but the water spilled all over Azriel’s face and pillow, causing him to bolt up right.
“What the fuck was that?” he asked, his voice rough with sleep and confusion.
“I’m sorry!” you hurried out, your loud voices making you wince. “I’m so sorry,” you said again, voice softening.
Azriel blinked a few times, pushing wet strands of hair out of his face. His eyes fell to the glass on its side, the wet spot on his pillow—which, in your defense, was also drool—and then they snapped to you.
His eyes were a little bloodshot, and dark circles laid beneath his eyes. It was the most disheveled you had ever seen him outside of fighting in literal wars, and there was something so ironically wholesome about seeing this male hungover and dazed and confused in nothing but his underwear. It was a state you knew very few had ever been privy to seeing Az in, and that sparked a flare of fondness and irrational possessiveness in your chest.
His throat bobbed as he stared at you wide eyed for a few seconds, taking in your own horrendous state. You did not even want to know what the hell you looked like—hell, probably. You probably looked like hell.
His shoulders finally relaxed, and he groaned as he rubbed a hand over his face. “What time is it?” he asked.
You bit your lip, glancing at the window only briefly. “I don’t know,” you groaned, falling back into the pillows. This was fucking absurd. “Early? Late? It’s fucking bright out, I can tell you that.”
At that, Azriel pushed himself up off the floor, walking over to the window to snap the drapes shut, dimming the light in the room. Some of the tension instantly left your body. “Thank you,” you murmured.
Azriel only nodded, his movements almost stiff as he picked up the glass on the floor and disappeared into the bathroom. You closed your eyes, your hands coming up to cover your face as your mind spun to piece together the night before, fragments coming back to you in mortifying flashes. Something cool gently knocked against your arm, and you lowered your hands to peer at a fresh glass of water in Azriel’s hand.
He smiled slightly, but his own weariness was obvious. “Here,” he said, passing you the glass as you pushed yourself up to rest against the headboard. You took a few slow sips before he handed you another vial with a blue liquid that gave you nauseating déjà vu. “Drink this,” he instructed, then went back into the bathroom.
You eyed the vial suspiciously, listening to the water run in the bathroom as you took another sip from your glass. Fuck it. It could only help, surely. Even if it tasted gross.
You popped the vial open and tossed the liquid back, shivering at the bitter taste that coated your tongue. You took another swallow of water to wash it away, and you prayed you didn’t puke it back up as your stomach turned.
Azriel reappeared then, your eyes tracking him as he walked over to the other side of the bed, still in nothing but his underwear. Which made you feel absolutely nothing at all, of course.
He climbed onto the bed, resting his back against the headboard, but he was overly mindful of positioning his wings so that they didn’t bump yours. There was enough space between you that it felt like a chasm, and somehow you felt more separated from him now than when he was passed out on the floor. The air was thick with awkward tension.
You rested your head back on the headboard with a gentle thud. Eventually, you caved and said with a groan, “This is the worst hangover of my life.”
A beat of silence passed, then Azriel said quietly, “I didn’t realize you drank that much.”
“Me neither.” You closed your eyes, letting out a long sigh. “I should know better than to blindly follow Mor.”
More silence followed, and your chest felt a little tighter the longer it stretched, but you kept your eyes closed and focused on keeping your breathing steady.
“How much do you remember?” Azriel finally asks, his tone still soft, but he seemed almost worried.
You opened your eyes, then slowly turned your head to look at him. He was watching you with unfairly clear eyes, sitting up straight against the headboard while you were slowly slumping further down into the pillows again.
Your stomach twisted as you let the memories of last night wash over you. The way Azriel held your hand as he led you through Rita’s. The first shot that quickly blurred into innumerable empty glasses. The way his body felt pressed against yours. The way your hips moved with his. The way his lips were soft and demanding.
It was like squinting through fogged over glass, trying to piece together smudged details that made up sharp fragments.
“How much do you remember?” you ask instead of answering, your voice raspy with both dehydration and embarrassment.
“Everything,” he answered quietly.
Your face warmed. “I remember puking in the alley,” you admitted reluctantly, your arm coming up to cover your eyes. “And pieces leading up to it, but after that—” You shrugged, dropping your arm to meet his eyes warily. “I don’t really know.”
Which…was a problem, now that you really started to think about it. You were in Azriel’s bed, in Azriel’s shirt, and you had no recollection of how that came to be. You couldn’t even remember leaving that alley, let alone climbing into bed.
“After that,” Azriel said gently, “I took you home. You didn’t want to sleep in your room, so I brought you here.”
You nodded once, then glanced down at the black shirt draped across your frame. “And my dress?”
Azriel winced, and your face was growing even hotter in anticipation of the words that might come out of his mouth. “There was vomit on your dress,” he said. “I helped you change. Then you went to bed.”
Unease clawed at your throat as you struggled to remember and still came up blank. You swallowed hard, then took another sip of the water you still had clutched in your hand. You ran your thumb over the lip of the glass once you brought it back down to your lap. Your smile was small and self-deprecating as you asked, half-jokingly, “And my underwear?”
Azriel’s head snapped toward you. “You’re not wearing underwear?”
You blinked, his words dousing you in cold water. Did he not remember everything from last night after all? Your mind started spinning with every possibility, and your face was hot from the thoughts alone. “Gods—Azriel, did we—”
“No! No, I swear. I don’t know where your—” His voice abruptly cut off. His eyes were locked on the foot of the bed, where a scrap of cobalt blue lace was strewn haphazardly.
Everything around you slowed as you both stared at the offending fabric. You slowly sat your glass of water down on the night stand before frantically launching yourself across the bed to grab the lace. You fisted the fabric in your hand as you awkwardly climbed off the bed, staring at Azriel with wide eyes from where you now stood at the foot of his bed. You had half the mind to thank the Mother that he was so large that his shirt was longer than your dress, and you were saved from any further mortification this morning—even if it sounds like he may have seen more than enough from you last night.
You licked your lips, heart pounding as you glanced around his room for any of your belongings, finding none, and then nodded to yourself repeatedly. “I should go,” you rushed out, avoiding Azriel’s eyes as panic flushed away the nausea and headache. You stumbled though when you took the first step toward his door, blinking quickly before the stars faded from your vision.
You heard the bed creak behind you, and you quickly continued your escape as Azriel followed close behind. “Y/N,” he said, but your ears were ringing and your face was burning and you were so embarrassed. You wished the mountain would fissure beneath your feet and swallow you whole.
“Thank you for—” You gestured wildly with no direction, your back still facing Azriel as you reached for the door knob.
“Y/N—”
You flung the door open, and then stopped in your tracks. Azriel’s chest bumped into your back, and his hand landed on your hip to keep you from careening forward.
Cassian stood there in the hall with a bowl of fruit and wild hair, his eyes wide as he stared at the two of you. He blinked once, and then twice, the three of you frozen as Cassian took in the sight before him. His eyes fell to your hand, which was still clutching your lace underwear.
Azriel snatched them from your hand, tossing them out of sight somewhere in his room. You blinked, your already soul-consuming embarrassment reaching horrifying multitudes.
Cassian’s free-hand came up to rub at his eyes, as if the sight of you and Azriel gave him a headache—or maybe he was just hungover—probably both.
His hand fell to his side, and he squinted at the two of you. “I thought the mirthroot shots were making me hallucinate.”
Cassian’s words momentarily cut through your blinding mortification, and you and Azriel both said, “The what?”
Cassian blinked owlishly at the two of you. “The…mirthroot shots?” His gaze darted from you up to Azriel, then back to you. “Mor was giving them to everyone.”
You tilted your head back, only to bump into Azriel’s chest. “I’m going to murder her,” you mumbled. Then you winced when you remembered taking the shots from her, not caring in the slightest what it was before downing it. You were fairly certain you had even said as much.
Cassian looked sheepish. “I don’t think she knew they were mirthroot at first. Then it was too late.”
That explained your hangover from hell.
“So,” Cassian said slowly, and your head snapped back up to look at him. “Are you two—”
“No,” you rushed out at the same time Azriel growled, “Cassian.”
He raised his hand with a shameless smirk on his face. “I’m just asking—”
“I have to go,” you said quickly, stepping away from Azriel, the cool air in the hallway licking away the heat that his body had radiated onto your skin. You glanced once back at Azriel’s room, another piece of your dignity withering away as you decided to leave behind your underwear in the name of escaping to your room as quickly as possible.
Azriel could keep them.
Or burn them.
Ferry them away to some interspace dimension.
You didn’t care.
You flung the door to your room open, slamming the door shut with a thud that echoed through your too still room. There were still clothes strewn around haphazardly from your rush to get ready the night before, and your training leathers laid in a pile by the bathroom. You sank down against the door, your head resting against the heavy wood once you were seated on the floor. Your hands came up to cover your face, and you begged the Mother to put you out of your misery.
~ ~ ~
“You’re up late.”
Your heart skipped a beat as your eyes snapped up to the male in the doorway. You smiled sheepishly as he walked closer, sitting next to you on the sofa. He was in his leathers, and his eyes were tired as he looked at the fire, the flames flickering in his irises.
You laid your book down in your lap, the pages splayed outward. “Are you okay?” you asked.
His throat bobbed, and it took him a few seconds before he turned to look at you. His smile was small, but it seemed genuine. “I’m just tired,” he said. He leaned back on the couch, his wings brushing against yours as they draped over the back. He glanced at you, and you smiled back, intentionally stretching your wing to brush against his again.
Your face was warm, and you weren’t sure it was from the fire. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Azriel sighed. “Now that Rhys is High Lord,” he said, “there is just so much that needs done.” He paused, his hand coming up to run through his hair. “Before, it was not my choice to serve the High Lord.”
You winced, looking down at your lap.
“Hey,” he said, his hand squeezing your wrist. “That is not your fault.”
“You sacrificed your freedom for me, Azriel,” you argued.
“And I would do it again,” he swore. He tugged at your wrist, and you forced your gaze to meet his again. “It was worth it, Y/N. I would have ended up serving on his court one way or another, at least I got to protect you by doing it.”
You nodded, and Azriel relaxed against the couch again. His hand slid down to hold yours, his fingers lazily playing with your own. You weren’t sure if he was even aware that he was doing it. “It’s different now, with Rhys. I chose to serve him. I want to. I’m loyal to him. I believe in him, and I trust his heart. He has plans for this court, and I want to help him bring them to fruition. It’s just…” He bit his lip, as if searching for the right words.
“A lot of pressure?” you asked.
He nodded. “A lot of pressure.”
You leaned against his shoulder, squeezing his hand. “I think that’s good,” you said softly.
Azriel hummed. “What do you mean?”
You shrugged. “It means you care,” you said. “You want to help people, Az. I think it would be bad if you just didn’t care at all.”
Azriel leaned his head against yours. Eventually he said, “Enough about me.” He sat up, and his gaze zeroed in on the book still in your lap. “Tell me about your book.”
Heat flooded your face, and you sat up straight. “Oh,” you laughed nervously. “No—it’s not—it’s pretty boring.”
Azriel frowned. “Tell me why it’s boring then.”
“I don’t—”
“At least let me look at it,” he said at the same time, plucking the book from your lap before you could even register what he was doing.
Your book that was still open to where you had been reading when he walked in. Azriel’s eyes danced as he read over the page, his lips slowly stretching into a smirk.
Mother help you.
“This is boring?” he asked, the taunt clear in his voice. As if the grin on his face wasn’t enough.
You yanked the book from his hands, snapping it shut. “Shut up, Az.”
“I had no idea this is what you read when you holed yourself away up here,” he teased.
You knew he was not being cruel, but embarrassment still made your stomach twist. You shrugged, your thumb running over the corner of the cover.
“Hey,” he said gently, and you forced yourself to meet his eyes. “There’s nothing wrong with that.”
You shrugged, your smile thin as you said, “I like it.” Then, maybe a bit foolishly, you added, “It’s safer…than the real thing.”
Azriel went still beside you. “What do you mean?” His voice was tight.
You had to force your mortification down deep to answer him, “I’ve only kissed a few males, and—” you forced out a laugh. “And it was kind of terrible.”
“All of them?”
You nodded. “All of them.” You shrugged, looking at the fire to avoid his eyes. “I don’t know. They were all drunken males at Rita’s, which is probably not the ideal place to meet a male. But I also think it might be me?” Your voice was small with your admission, and you hated the words that were tumbling out of your mouth, unsure why you couldn’t stop them or how your night had suddenly led you here. “I tense up, because I know I don’t want it to go any further. I just—I can’t. I can’t, not with my wings. I don’t—”
You forced yourself to take a breath, forced yourself to recenter in the moment, here, with Azriel. You dragged your gaze back to his, his eyes soft and patient as they watched you diligently. There was not an ounce of judgment in his gaze, and it made your shoulders relax slightly.
“You’ve…been with females. Right?” you asked shyly.
Azriel blinked. “Um,” he choked out, and it was nice to see a tint of red across his cheeks. It made you feel slightly less vulnerable. “Yes,” he said, “I have.”
“Did they touch your wings?”
Azriel’s face twisted briefly, then it quickly softened. “Sweetheart,” he said, and the name made you feel warm all over. “No one should touch your wings without permission.”
“I know that, Azriel,” you grumbled. “That doesn’t mean they won’t.”
He was quiet for a moment, then he said quietly, “It’s okay if you aren’t ready.”
“I hate it, though!” you exclaimed, the book finally sliding off your lap. “I just—I just want to—” Your words died in your throat as your gaze snagged on Azriel’s lips. Your heart pounded against your ribcage, and you were speaking again before you really thought. “Will you kiss me?”
“What?” Azriel choked out, his eyes bewildered.
It was possibly the most insane idea you had ever had, but you wanted to kiss a male and not feel like vomiting immediately after, damn it. Azriel was perfect. In more ways than one. You trusted him. He was, objectively, beautiful. He didn’t smell like a bar—he smelled like cedar and fresh snow, actually. He—he was perfect.
“Kiss me,” you said again. You forced yourself to meet his eyes. “Please.”
His lips parted. “Y/N,” he started to say, but you cut him off.
“Azriel,” you nearly pleaded. Nearly. You had enough pride not to beg him for a damned kiss. But you were not above persuasion. “I am nearly a century old, and I just want to know what it is like to enjoy a kiss without working my way through every washed up drunk at Rita’s—”
His hands were on your face as your words died in your throat, and in the next second his lips were pressed to yours. You froze, but just for a second, and Azriel was not deterred. His lips melded with yours gently, coaxing you to slowly start kissing him back.
Time seemed to stop around you. Everything slowed as Azriel kissed you, and kissed you, and kissed you. His lips were soft, and he tasted like rose tea, and you could devour him, right there on that very couch in the middle of Rhys’s personal library. Your entire body was electrified, every nerve ending came to life as you kissed your best friend.
He started to pull back, but you chased after him, your hands coming up to his neck to guide him back to you. He came easily, his own hands cupping your jaw and tangling in your hair. There was a fire burning in the center of your chest, and it felt like Azriel’s soul was living and breathing inside of you as his lips found yours over and over.
He moaned softly into your mouth, and suddenly the world tilted, and you remembered exactly where you were and who you were with. You pulled back, and Azriel separated from you, his hands slowly falling away as you pushed him back.
You swallowed hard, licking your lips once before wiping your mouth with the back of your hand. Mother above.
You jumped to your feet with fragile composure, your book falling to the floor with a loud thud. Your heart was beating frantically, your pulse pounding in your ears, and your body was hot all over. Azriel was watching you with wide eyes, still sitting on the couch. “That was, um,” you said breathlessly, looking all around until your gaze finally fell back on him. “That was good.”
Azriel’s lips twitched. “Good,” he said, not really a question.
You bit the inside of your cheek, nodding. “Thank you.”
Azriel smiled. “Happy to help.”
“Right,” you whispered, trapped in a daze. You had just kissed your best friend. A lot. And you loved it. “Goodnight,” you rushed out, then made a beeline for the door.
You hurried down the halls, your mind racing as you neared your bedroom, as you opened your door and shut yourself safe inside. Your back fell against the door, your head thumping against the wood as a smile blossomed across your face and a laugh bubbled out of you.
That was better than any damned book.
~ ~ ~
“You have been an incredibly difficult female to find.”
You flinched at the voice behind you, your elbow banging into the wooden desk. You turned to meet Rhysand’s eyes, a smirk teasing his lips. You smiled sheepishly. “Sorry.”
He waved you off, walking closer to lean against the desk, making a show of taking in the dimly lit room of the library. You were deep beneath the main floor, layers of stone between you and everyone else in the world. The books and hushed steps of priestesses had been your sole company for days.
“You would think you were my scholar instead of my spy,” Rhys teased, but you heard the question in his voice.
You swallowed, aimlessly shuffling together some of the papers scattered in front of you. “Would that be a problem?” you asked quietly, avoiding Rhys’s gaze. “If I wanted to be, I mean?”
“Of course not,” Rhys said. He laid his palm down on the papers you were shuffling, your gaze reluctantly dragging up to meet his. His eyebrows raised slightly. “I didn’t realize you were unhappy with your position.”
“I’m not,” you assured him. “I’m just…”
“Not happy?”
You frowned. “Isn’t that the same thing?”
Rhys shrugged, pulling his hand back. “You tell me.”
You bit your bottom lip, looking at all the books and papers scattered around you. You had lost yourself to these walls, these words, for the last few days, and it was the most at peace you had felt in…a really long time. “Maybe,” you whispered. “I just miss it, sometimes. Your mother—” You hesitated, and you hated that the words got caught in your throat.
Rhys hummed in understanding. “My mother was many things,” he said quietly. “Beautifully cunning, was one of them.”
You smiled softly. “She gave me purpose when she brought me here. When she asked me to research childbirth and potions and medicine. When she asked me to help Madja.” You sighed, leaning back in your chair to look up at Rhys. “It’s just a different feeling than being a spy.”
It was all true. You missed the feeling of pages between your fingers and stringing sentences across books together to make a new—to make a discovery that would help others. Knowledge was, at its core, power. It was intoxicating when you first came to Velaris. You had never known such power existed, let alone one that could be at your very fingertips.
“And this has nothing to do with Azriel?”
Your breath hitched.
There was also that small fact that danced in the back of your mind. If you became a scholar again, you would no longer have to answer to Azriel. You had done well at avoiding him when you wanted these past few months, but resigning as a spy—well, that would make it all the more easier.
“That’s insulting,” you said instead.
Rhys held no remorse. “It’s a fair question.”
You rolled your eyes, feigning nonchalance and steeling your mental barriers as Rhys brushed against your mind. You scowled at him, and he only smirked.
“A kiss from a male is not going to decide my future career choices,” you growled.
Rhys' eyes lit up. “A kiss?” he laughed. “Well I wasn’t going to mention it—”
You groaned. “Enough, Rhysand.”
His eyes still danced with mirth, the faelights flickering in his violet irises. He seemed to debate his next words, and your shoulders sank with relief when he asked, “What have you been doing down here?” He picked up one of your notebooks—your personal notebook you realized with horror. “Mating bonds and desire,” he read aloud. “Matings bonds instill intrinsic—”
You snatched the notebook from his hands, your face hot. “Give me that.” You tossed it on the ground beside you. “That’s not what I’m researching.”
His brows raised. “No?” he asked, picking up the book that had The History of Mating Bonds embossed across the front.
“Not for you,” you countered, also taking the book from him.
Rhys pursed his lips, clearly not done tormenting you. “I was glad to see that you and Azriel had made up,” he mused. “Or should I say made out?”
“Rhys,” you pleaded.
“Now he’s back to moping around Velaris because you’ve holed yourself up down here. Researching mating bonds, apparently?”
“I told you that’s not all,” you grumbled, reaching for the much larger stack of papers and books across the desk. You slid them in front of Rhys pointedly.
He furrowed his brow. “The intricacies of mind compulsion?” He read the title of the first book aloud, then looked at your notes. His mouth turned into a frown, and your heart started to beat harder. “Potential targets of Koschei…Illyrians?”
You forced yourself to meet his gaze, nodding slowly.
“You think Koschei is controlling Illyrians?”
Not really, no. But wouldn’t it be nice if every terrible thing that had happened to you and so many others could be blamed on one entity? That the suffering you endured could be explained?
“Y/N,” Rhys said gently. “Sometimes evil is just evil.”
“I know,” you whispered.
Rhys squeezed your shoulder, a beat of silence passing between you before he said, “I wanted to tell you, I removed Freya’s husband from Windhaven.”
Your head snapped toward him. “What? Where is he?”
“Rotting in a cell in Hewn City.” He shrugged. “I haven’t had much time to go rifling through his mind, and I probably shouldn’t kill the male without proof of his crimes.” He grinned at you, his eyes glinting. “Though I can always expedite my investigation—”
“No,” you said. “Let him suffer.”
“As you wish,” Rhys said. “Speaking of Illyrians and Koschei, though,” he added slowly, “I have a mission for you. That is, if you don’t mind postponing the career change.”
You straightened. “Of course.”
Rhys picked up the sheet of paper with your notes detailing every link you could conceptualize between Illyria and Koschei, reading it with a worried frown on his face. “You’re not wrong that certain factions in Illyria would be vulnerable to Koschei’s…overzealous promises. Or would simply jump at the chance to see my head on a platter.”
Your stomach turned, knowing you had thought the same thing.
Rhys glanced at you, then laid the paper back down. “Koschei undoubtedly knows this. He’s already sent whispers into Kier’s court.”
“Kier?”
“Unfortunately,” Rhys grumbled. “Amren has done what she can to protect his mind from Koschei’s compulsion, but—”
“There’s only so much we know about him,” you finished softly.
“Precisely.” Rhys picked at a piece of lint on his arm, then folded them across his chest. “It presents us with an opportunity for a cover though. Azriel has not been able to infiltrate Koschei’s home nor the Mortal Queens’ castle. He’s managed to glean very little about how far Koschei’s influence reaches.”
“He’s mentioned that,” you said quietly.
“The queens are throwing a ball in two days.”
You scrunched your face up. “A ball?”
“Yes.” Rhys smirked. “And you will be attending—on behalf of the Court of Nightmares.”
“Me?” you asked. “How progressive of Keir to send a female liaison.”
Rhysand winced. “Well, not exactly.”
“Rhys.”
“Azriel will be going as the liaison,” he said, looking only slightly guilty. Your heart beat sped up. “You will be going as his wife.”
~ ~ ~
“Will it be weird?” you asked, fastening the last of your belts around your waist.
“What?” Azriel asked, absently cleaning his dagger. Truth-Teller, he called it. You had no idea where he got the obsidian blade, but he treated it like his first-born.
“Going on a mission together.”
Azriel frowned, sheathing Truth-Teller at his side. “Why would it be weird?”
You shrugged, nerves making you shaky as you stood in front of him, and your shakiness only made you more nervous. You felt like a fraud, wrapped in leather and strapped with weapons—like a child pretending they were a warrior. The sheath around your thigh slid down, hitting the floor with a clang that made you flinch.
Azriel kneeled on the ground to pick it up before you could, his fingers deftly undoing the buckle. His legs wrapped around your calf to guide your leg up, settling your boot-clad foot on his thigh. Your breath hitched when his fingers grazed your thigh, wrapping the leather sheath around you and securing it tight.
Then he lifted another thin strap of leather attached to the sheath, smiling softly as he weaved it under your belt. “You forgot to fasten this one,” he murmured quietly.
Your face was warm when his fingers fell away and you brought your foot back to the ground. “Thanks,” you whispered.
Azriel stood up, analyzing the rest of your gear with critical focus.
You bit your lip, anxiety still pushing up far too many inconsequential worries in the face of your first mission from Rhys. “Is it uncomfortable for you, being in charge of me?”
Azriel’s eyes snapped to yours. “No,” he said. “Is it for you?”
You automatically shook your head, then thought better of lying at a time like this, and slowly started to nod. Azriel frowned, and you hurried to explain, “I just—I’m scared of disappointing you.”
Azriel’s entire face went soft, his hazel eyes warm in the dim light of your room. “You could never disappoint me,” he said softly.
You shook your head. “You can’t say that.”
“It’s true,” he argued. “Y/N.” He took your face in his hands, forcing your eyes to meet his. “You could tell me right now that you aren’t ready, and you are not doing this mission, and I would be proud of you for standing up for yourself.”
You started to shake your head again, trying to close your eyes, but Azriel’s grip tightened. “You could go on this mission and decide to turn back at any point, and I would be proud of you for trying. Or we can go on this mission and get what we need, and I’ll be proud of you for doing it.”
Your eyes were burning as you stared at him, your entire body warming from the inside out as he brushed a gentle thumb over your cheek. “Do you want to go on this mission?”
You nodded. “I’m just scared.”
“That’s okay,” he assured. “I would be worried if you weren’t.”
You smiled slightly.
“Rhys trusts you. I trust you. I wouldn’t have agreed to this if I didn’t think you were ready.”
His words were meant to be soothing, but they only twisted your spiral tighter. “Rhys is an untried High Lord now,” you laughed drily. “His faith in me is all the more pressure not to royally fuck this up for him.”
Azriel’s hands dragged down your arms. “It’s going to be fine,” he soothed. “It’s just the Spring Court, anyway,” he grumbled. “Our relationship with them is already shit, and Tamlin is an untried High Lord too. If we get caught,” he shrugs, “oh well.”
You knew it was definitely not as simple as “oh well” if you got caught. Rhys needed these roses. He needed their magic to rebuild and revitalize Velaris. It was also just roses though, which you knew was Azriel’s point.
You nodded, letting out a deep breath.
“Okay?” Azriel asked.
You nodded again, then yanked Azriel down into a hug, your arms circling around his waist. His body curled around yours, his cheek pressing against yours as you held him close.
“It will be okay,” he murmured. “You’re not doing this alone. If anything happens, you’ll have me.”
You nodded your head against his chest, still not letting go as your breathing slowly calmed. You inhaled his scent and listened to his heart beat, and you thought for a moment that your hearts began to beat in tandem.
Azriel squeezed you tighter.
“You will always have me.”
~ ~ ~
Azriel was freaking out.
He had dealt with more nerves in these last few months than he had in all his centuries of life, and he was tired. He knew it was a mess of his own making, really, which made it worse. He felt like he was grasping at cobwebs every time he moved to try and fix this mess he had made after too many fucking drinks at Rita’s. Twice. With every step he made, the ground seemed to just crumble beneath him, and he was terrified that this might be the last chance he had to salvage whatever you were still willing to give him.
He wasn’t sure if he loved or hated Rhys for forcing the two of you on this mission. Maybe both. You had been hiding from him for days, again, and he couldn’t blame you. He never should have kissed you, let alone allowed it to escalate as it did, and every time his mind wandered to how the night might have progressed differently if you had not fallen ill so quickly, his stomach revolted with guilt.
He was drunk. He was—he knew he was—but he was sober enough to take care of you. That was his responsibility. He had promised you. He owed you, after all. It was his fault that he had taken one too many shots blindly from Cassian after relentless begging, and it was his fault he didn’t bother questioning Cassian when he slurred some nonsense about “flying without flying” as he passed him a brightly colored liquid that smelled and tasted overly medicinal.
He should have realized it was the same shot Mor had grown infatuated with throughout the night, and that you had taken with her in solidarity—and with maybe a little desperation, if he was honest with himself. He didn’t know exactly what was bothering with you, but he knew it had to be something he said that night at Rita’s, and fuck knows what else since then. The dinner with Soleil had been particularly terrible, but that was only one night.
He was fairly certain you were unaware of the bond. It was strange, every time he reached for the living, glowing tendril in his chest. He could trace it all the way to you, and it felt alive and intimate in a way he never knew existed, but it was dark. Quiet. Like it was asleep, and he never let himself reach close enough to risk tearing you from that peaceful slumber.
He wanted you more than anything. He had been in love with you since he was a boy, if he was entirely honest with himself, but he didn’t really understand what love was for a very long time. He didn’t know how to recognize it, how to differentiate it from the familial love he had felt toward his brothers. He just knew he would die for you, live for you, do anything for you—and maybe he was a bit foolish, for taking so long to realize.
Then after centuries, in the midst of a war tattered campground, as you yelled at him for being a godsdamned martyr while mending a tear in his wings, he felt the world tilt around him. He thought he was dying at first, when he felt that first tug against his ribcage and the air was yanked from his lungs. Then he sucked in a fresh breath, and grasped at the living thing pulsing inside him, and he followed it directly to you, kneeling before him. You had dirt and blood dried on your face, your leathers were torn, and he loved you—and you were his mate.
It took everything in him to control his face and shadows. He could hardly process that what he had longed for had just been so unceremoniously unveiled in the midst of chaos and carnage, and he knew that the last thing you needed to worry about was a mating bond.
He told Rhys and Cassian not long after, and it was not intentional, but he felt like he was dying hiding this blessing from everyone. He hated feeling like he was hiding you. He almost confessed everything, almost bared his entire soul to his brothers in a too small tent surrounded by exhausted warriors and friends and family after fighting for everything and claiming victory, but he thought better of it, and no one ever brought it up again.
Not until he apparently told you like a drunken fool on the streets of Velaris a year later.
He was just glad he didn’t say it was you. That you were his mate he adored and would eternally serve and pine for from afar if he must.
You had spent your life fighting for a future, for autonomy, and he could not steal that from you in the name of taking something he wanted. You had never spoken of mates. You had never seemed keen on finding a partner or spouse or having children. You always diverted any conversations Azriel had subtly prompted in the past, and he was never one to push you more than you wanted.
He could not—would not—force a mating bond on you. He would rather die.
He still selfishly hoped it would snap for you one day. He could not control fate, after all, and if it did—well, then it would be your choice what to do with it. It wouldn’t be something that he was forcing you to confront.
He could love you from afar. He could love you as a friend. He could love you however you needed him to. He did.
He also thought you might love him, and that was terrifying. He didn’t know how to navigate that possibility. Sometimes, he let himself think that maybe you were jealous of some amorphous mate he had drunkenly poured his heart out for, and maybe that was one of the roots of your shifting demeanor with him. It felt too foolish, though, too egotistical to consider for long. He had known you for centuries and had never seen you envy anyone.
However, he could not deny the signs that you felt something toward him. You had kissed him, even if you were drunk, and he was certain that you would have kissed him that night in Illyria if he had not pulled away. It was confusing, trying to decide the best way to handle such a delicate situation, and every move he made seemed to create a new fracture.
If you loved him, you could choose him for yourself, without the pressure of a mating bond.
But he also knew that you would never let yourself encroach on another person’s happiness, on his happiness, which meant you would protect Azriel’s mating bond with you from yourself if you thought it was with another.
It was a mindfuck.
“Azriel.”
Azriel spun around, his shadows darting behind his wings as he met your glare with wide eyes. You were standing across from him in this too small inn room with your hands clutching your dress to your chest. Waves of onyx fabric fell from your hips, shimmering in the faelights as you stepped closer.
Azriel swallowed hard, his mouth suddenly dry and face warm. “Sorry,” he said, and he hoped he sounded somewhat composed. “What did you say?”
Your lips pursed and your brow crinkled in frustration. He had no idea how long he had been lost in his thoughts, staring at a wall to give you privacy while you dressed.
“I need your help with this dress,” you huffed, and turned around to show him your open back.
It was a corset back, and if you let go of your bodice he was certain the entire dress would fall in a heap at your feet. He could see the hint of black lace lining your lower back, and his pulse thumped loudly in his ears as he stepped closer, allowing himself only another second to drink in the expanse of your bare.
He picked up the silken laces from the bed, his fingers grazing your skin as he threaded the first row and then pulled it taut. Your wings flared outward, and you reached for the desk crammed against the wall to hold yourself steady.
Azriel’s gaze lingered on your wings, then he frowned at the laces in his hands. The top of the dress was maybe a finger’s width away from the base of your wings. “Will this irritate your wings?” he asked.
You shifted impatiently, and he could practically hear you roll your eyes as you said, “According to Mor, no.”
Azriel’s frown deepened. He continued lacing the corset, but said quietly, “Mor does not have wings.”
“Trust me,” you gritted out when he tugged at the dress. “I know.”
“Do you want to wear something else?”
“Of course I do,” you huffed, still leaning over the desk. “But this is what Rhys gave me, and I have a part to play.” You waved at him flippantly, urging him to continue. “I’m meant to be your pretty plaything from the Court of Nightmares.”
Azriel couldn’t help the harsher tug on your laces, a startled oof falling from your lips. “You’re my wife,” he corrected quietly.
You were quiet at that, letting the soft slide of silk laces occupy the room.
If one of his shadows fell away from his grasp to slither down your arm, he didn’t stop them.
Eventually he pulled the final row tight, securing the corset with a bow. He should have stepped away then. He should have given you your space, but instead his hands grabbed you by your waist, and turned you around slowly to face him. Your chest rose and fell with heavy breaths as your eyes met his, and your irises were stunning against the smoky background Mor had crafted before you left—even if you would be unrecognizable to anyone else beneath the glamour.
“You are divine,” he told you, and the words felt like a hymn upon his lips. He forced the rest of the praises down deep into his soul, letting them coast along the bond in glimmering glyphs instead of speaking them aloud.
Your breath hitched.
You took a small step back, looking down at your dress as you smoothed over the fabric with your hands. “This dress is a monstrosity,” you argued, though the words lacked conviction. “And entirely impractical.”
Azriel shook his head, stepping forward to reclaim the space between you. He was a foolish, foolish male. He would do everything in his power to kindle this flame that glowed between you. How could he not? There was never really another option, as much as he might try to delude himself.
“I was not talking about the dress,” he told you quietly, warmth flooding his body as you looked up at him with wide and blinking eyes.
Your throat bobbed as you licked your lips, and Azriel could not help the flare of desire that sparked in his chest. You were ethereal, and powerful, and you were about to walk inside a ballroom full of fools and run circles around them. He loved every fiber of your being.
He reached for your hand, your skin soft against his scars. He lifted it slowly to his lips, his eyes never leaving yours as he left a lingering kiss against your skin. You blinked, and he gently lowered your hand back down, but he didn’t let go. “Let’s go make some friends, wife.”
~ ~ ~
The ball was more akin to a menagerie.
Azriel did not let his hand leave your waist as the two of you weaved through a sea of bodies, an eclectic and seemingly chaotic collection of faeries littering the ballroom floor. There were humans sprinkled throughout too, and Azriel’s chest tightened at the emptiness behind their gazes. The music that filled the room seemed slow and upbeat all at once, a tempo that left his heart beating fast in his chest.
He did not like this at all.
His hand tightened on your waist, and his lips brushed the shell of your ear as he leaned down to say, “Do not leave my side.”
Of course, you glared at him. “I can take care of myself.”
Azriel spun you so you were chest to chest, both of his hands now on your waist as your hands pressed against his chest. He swayed the two of you to the slightly off-beat music that made his skin crawl. His cheek brushed against yours as he leaned down again to speak to you quietly. “For all intents and purposes tonight, you are my wife.” He felt your breath fan out in a warm buff against his neck, and he brought one of his hands up to lace his fingers with yours, the two of you dancing slowly amongst the crowd. “Assume we are being watched.”
You nodded slightly, acquiescing as you leaned into him. “Why do I feel more like an exhibit than a guest?” you murmured.
And that was exactly how Azriel would describe it. The skin on the back of his neck prickled as if there were eyes on him from every direction, but his shadows had scattered to every corner of the room, and there was no one watching the two of you. No one that could be seen.
“There’s too many people here,” he said, eyes scouring the crowded floor. “And none of them seem particularly…noble.” It was not an insult, but no one here was dressed in finery that would be expected at a royal ball. He almost felt like the two of you were overdressed.
There were as many lesser fae as there were high fae, and that made him nervous—for them. He could not imagine that the Mortal Queens had decided to provide charity to the oppressed fae of Pyrthian, and if Koschei had any involvement in this gathering, he hated to think about why these people were gathered here. He also could not ignore that, technically, the two of you were lesser fae as well.
Kier had said the invitation was for his court nobles, who would have been High Fae, but Azriel trusted Kier as far as he could throw him, even with Rhys rifling through his mind.
“Do you think it’s a trap?” you murmured quietly in his ear.
“I don’t know,” he admitted, and he hated feeling unsteady. He hated how little information he had been able to collect from Koschei and the Mortal Queens, and how difficult it had been to glean any information from the shadows of the Continent. “No one knows who we are,” he said. “But this is not the crowd I anticipated.”
You went stiff in his arms. He ducked his head to meet your gaze, but your eyes remained glued over his shoulder. He squeezed your waist, pulling your gaze to him. “There are two Illyrians here,” you said quietly.
Azriel blinked. His grip tightened on your hand, and he imperceptibly shifted you closer to his body. “We anticipated this,” he murmured. It didn’t stop the rage from coursing through his veins.
It also meant that Koschei was almost definitely acting as a puppeteer for the Mortal Queens, either knowingly or unknowingly to them. That was expected, though, and that wasn’t why you and him were there. You were there to collect information, to find out who else might be involved. He had anticipated nobility from across courts, though, not a consortium of lesser fae.
“Az,” you said quietly, and he almost reminded you not to say his name, but then you shifted the two of you just enough so that he could see the Illyrians. He recognized them. They were from Windhaven. He was fairly certain one was a male you had spat at just weeks ago.
“They won’t recognize us,” he assured, though even he did not really believe his words. He could still see the sheen of the glamour Rhys had cast around your face, and he could feel the warmth of his on his skin, but it did nothing to hide the fact that you were Illyrians, and if they got close enough, they could recognize your scents. You had likely made an impression.
You bit your lip, your eyes shifting around the ballroom, but your gaze always lingered on them. “Look who they are speaking with.”
Azriel glanced again, careful not to stare. He sucked in a breath as a faerie moved to reveal the High Fae the Illyrians were standing next to. “Autumn Court soldiers.”
“And nobility,” you added. “That’s the first noble I’ve seen.”
“They could be under a thrall,” he said.
You shook your head, forcing your gaze away from the males. Your eyes were sharp when they met his gaze. “No,” you said. “They’re perfectly lucid.” A human bumped into you from behind, sending you careening into Azriel. He steadied you easily, even as you glared at the woman that stumbled away without an apology. “I’m not sure the same can be said of the humans,” you grumbled.
“They might be drunk on faerie wine.”
Your nose scrunched up in distaste. “These Mortal Queens are fools.”
“They could also be in a thrall,” he argued half-heartedly.
“Briallyn wasn’t.”
“No,” he agreed quietly.
“We need to split up,” you said.
Azriel did not agree. His grip on your waist tightened, and you cast a withering glare toward him. “No,” he said.
Your eyes narrowed, and you leaned in close. You hand trailed from his chest to the back of his neck, your nails grazing his hair at the nape of his neck. Your lips brushed the column of his throat as you murmured back, “Yes.”
He knew you were playing into your role. He knew the two of you very well could not argue in the middle of the ballroom, no matter how crowded. He knew you likely felt the same invisible eyes on your back that he did. It did not stop the rush of desire that ran through his veins or the goosebumps that pebbled his skin.
He swallowed hard. Then he tilted his head so his lips grazed your ear. “I do not think that is wise.”
“We are not doing this again,” you argued, your tone a touch harsher. “I can take care of myself, Azriel.” His jaw clenched, and he knew you were right. He hated himself for letting his own selfish fears dictate his decisions, and for trying to dictate yours.
Your eyes were soft when you pulled back to look at him, though. “There are too many people here for us to just stand here and dance in the middle of the floor.”
He was grateful in that moment that Rhys’s glamour did not hide you from him. You were stunning. Beautifully sharp in all the right places, power coursing through your veins and conviction shining in your eyes. You were more than capable. He had never doubted that. He just felt like he was dying every time you were in danger, and he could not fathom what it might feel like if something happened to you.
“Okay,” he whispered. He hated the ripple of shock on your face, but he loved the small smirk that graced your lips.
Azriel could not help himself.
He leaned down, his lips a hairs breadth away from yours as he paused for just a second, then he pressed his lips to the corner of your mouth. Your breath hitched as he pulled back, but he didn’t let either of your wallow in your complicated emotions. “Don’t wander far, wife,” he said, voice cool and detached, loud enough for those around you to hear.
Your eyes narrowed, but you bowed your head slightly, stepping away from Azriel. He forced himself to drop your hand, and he watched you until you disappeared in the throng of faeries.
Description: After days away on a mission, Azriel returns home, desperate for you. Lucky for him, Azriel finds you just as desperate.
Warnings: Porn no plot, p in v, oral sex (m receiving), knife play, gags, choking, hair pulling, rough sex, inappropriate use of Truth-Teller, multiple orgasms, dom!Azriel, sub!reader
A/N: This was a request from a very dear friend of mine, the one who put me on ACOTAR in the first place. To my dear Sugar, eat it up girl. This was so fun to write I’m almost embarrassed. Feel free to send in some requests! Enjoy!
Everyone in the Night Court understood that the High Lord’s shadowsinger worked hard. Azriel knew everything about everyone, everywhere. He spent his days soaring through the skies of Prythian learning what he could and reporting back to the High Lord. No one understood how hard Azriel worked better than you, though. His wife. His mate.
You were the one who waited up on the nights he came through the doors of your bedroom with bags beneath his eyes. You were the one who sat with him when he saw something that made him want to uproot the entire political system of Prythian. You were the one who kissed his scarred hands when they shook in the dark hours of the early morning, when the dreams were too much even for a warrior like him.
Tensions were high in Prythian, following the war with Hybern. Keeping an eye on all of the varying courts and their post-war movements required a lot from the Illyrian spy. Rhysand had even recruited Cassian to do some spy work, in the hopes to alleviate some of Azriel’s workload. Hardly a dent in the mountain of tasks Azriel had before him.
He’d been away for days. Sudden plays from Beron made Rhysand nervous, and when Rhys was nervous, Azriel went snooping. You understood that the safety of the realm came first, that your mate was doing important work and needed to be away so long, but the loneliness that came with his absence was starting to get to you.
You missed his eyes, the depth in them. You missed his voice, and the gentle timber of his voice when he told you he loved you. The occasional check-in you got through the mating bond, a tug of warmth reminding you that he thought of you, wasn’t nearly enough to satiate you. You missed his hands most of all.
Those big, tanned hands, covered in brutal patterns that tell his stories whether he wants them told or not, were your favourite part of your mate. The way his knuckles whitened when he gripped the hilt of Truth-Teller too tightly, the way his fingers flexed when he was nervous, the way they manhandled you whenever he got you alone…
Four days was much too long to have gone without those hands. You had to give yourself credit for trying to get by without them. On the nights where the simmering loneliness turned into a boiling neediness, you’d slip your own hands into your lace panties, close your eyes and dream of your winged spy. You almost hated Azriel in the desperate moments where your fingers tried so hard to imitate his, but ultimately failed to come close, leaving you aching all the days he was away.
After hearing word that Azriel had returned, and feeling a confirming hum zip through your mating bond, you’d been patient as he recounted his findings to Rhys. You’d slipped into a deep purple underthing, made of lace and sheer mesh, and got comfortable atop the bed you shared with your mate. You knew it was only a matter of time before he’d be home to you.
The anticipation already had heat pooling between your legs, your thighs pressing together in a stupidly feeble attempt to ease some of your tension. The minutes seemed to drag by as you waited, your heart pounding much too loudly for your own liking.
When the doorknob shook, your core clenched. He was finally here. Sure enough, the door to your bedroom opened to reveal your mate, still dressed in his Illyrian leathers. Azriel’s seven siphons pulsed with energy, his power barely contained by the mass number of them. His wings were tucked behind his back, and you silently wished they weren’t. Strapped to his thigh, glinting in the candlelight of your bedroom, Truth-Teller sat in its place.
Azriel’s face was unreadable as he stepped into the room. He shut the door behind him, his eyes falling on your frame. You watch his hazel eyes slowly drag over you, the slope of your breasts, barely hidden by lace, the curve of your hip wrapped in purple mesh. His tongue darted out to wet his lips, his wings lifting only slightly.
“Aren’t you a sight.” He practically whispered.
“I missed you, Az.” You purred, sitting up on your elbows to stare at him.
His jaw clenched, his fingers flexing. Not nervous, you noted, excited. He let out a deep breath through his nose, almost a sigh. He walked towards the bed, towards you, and your stomach erupted in butterflies.
“I missed you more, pet.”
The coolness in his response sent a shiver down your spine. As Azriel reached the foot of the bed, he circled it, instead of climbing on like you’d expected. He walked over to you, holding a hand out expectantly. You leaned over to him, setting your chin down in his palm, nearly moaning at the contact after so many days. His fingers curled inward, securing a firm, but not painful, grasp on your cheeks.
“Good girl. I didn’t even have to say a word.”
His praise is something you never tire of. He gave you a small smile then, leaning down to press a chaste kiss to your lips.
“How was your trip?” You ask softly, gazing up at Azriel lovingly.
“Long.” Is all he replies.
His thumb traced a gentle line over your cheek, back and forth. His eyes were dark as you stared into them, thin golden irises around blown pupils. Something in them told you, clear as the night sky, that he was in no mood for slow tonight. The trip had been long, and you both knew it.
“Let me welcome you home properly,” you offered, sliding a hand over to paw at the tenting bulge in Azriel’s armour.
He let out a satisfied huff at the contact, releasing your jaw so that you could crawl over to where he stood at the side of the bed. Your hands lifted to his leather breastplate, moving to unfasten it, but his larger hands were quick to swat them away.
“Leave it on. You don’t need to take my shirt off to welcome me.”
You swallowed thickly at his words, arousal pooling in your underwear at the tone he took with you. You nodded, lowering your hands to unfasten his pants just enough to free his already hard cock. Azriel let out a soft breath as your fingers curled around the base of him, your thumb and middle finger almost touching around his width. Your mouth watered as you stared at him, desperate to feel the weight of him on your tongue. A large, scarred hand came down to slide into your hair, the palm resting on the back of your head.
“Go on, pet.” He ordered.
You wasted no time in parting your lips, taking the tip of him between them. He groaned quietly as you took him deeper into your mouth, your tongue gently dragging along the bottom of his dick. The hand on your head pushed you gently, not forcing, but encouraging. You choked, only for a moment, and relished at the growl he made as you did. Forcing yourself to relax, you let him push all of him into your mouth, your throat.
Tears stung in your eyes as he held you there for a moment, his jaw set as he gazed down at you. A smirk tugged at the corner of his lips as he took you in. Azriel’s hand, the one in your hair, curled to make a tight first, the new grip making it easy for him to drag you back off his cock. You licked over the tip as he moved you, tugging against his grip to take him back in your mouth.
“Needy, eager thing.” He taunted, loosening his grip enough to let you set the pace.
You set a simple rhythm, bobbing your head in time with your breaths. You braced your hands on his thighs, sitting on your knees on the bed as you sucked him. The tears in your eyes spilled over, tracing sparkling lines of starlight down your cheeks. Azriel’s free hand lifted, his thumb brushing away some of your tears. You couldn’t stop yourself from moaning around him as he brought his hand to his mouth, sucking away the remnants of your tears.
Azriel’s throat bobbed, his breath coming in hot pants as you quickened your pace. You slide your hands along his thighs, the fingers on your left hand bumping into the hilt of Truth-Teller, where it still sat in its sheathe.
“Careful,” Azriel warned gently, “Don’t want you to hurt yourself.”
The needy whine that left you was muffled around the cock in your mouth, but was certainly not lost on Azriel. His eyebrow cocked, his head tilting to the side like an animal. His grip in your hair tightened once more and he yanked you off his cock. As you gasped for breath, he stared at you, his gaze somehow darkening more.
“That’s how it is, is it?”
“I don’t know what you mea-”
“You like my knife.” Azriel cut you off, watching your face flush with his statement.
“I like you, and the knife happens to be yours, so…” You sass, trying to play off the light embarrassment seeping into you as you sit back on your knees.
“Yeah? Come back here.” He ordered.
You knew better than to disobey him, but you hesitated slightly as you leaned back over to him, now on all fours. You watched with nervous eyes as he unstrapped Truth-Teller from his thigh, pulling it from its sheathe. The metal blade glittered, shadow seeming to leak from its hilt. Azriel flipped the knife in his hand, catching it by the blade with two fingers. He turned his gaze from the knife to you.
“So eager to have that pretty mouth full, aren’t you?”
You nodded. He lifted his knife to your mouth, tapping the hilt against your bottom lip.
“Then open up.”
“You want me to–”
“Did I say speak?” He nearly snarled, his eyes narrowing.
You shook your head, earning a hum of agreement from Azriel. You licked your lips, opening them slowly so that Azriel can slip the hilt of his blade into your waiting mouth. It’s cold, and it tastes like the sweat of his palm. This blade has seen hundreds of battles, thousands of deaths, and more blood than you could fathom. You should be disgusted. Instead, you moan. You hear a humourless chuckle from above you, your gaze snapping up to Azriel’s.
“You like that, huh? I should’ve known. Always such a nasty slut for me. Isn’t that right?”
The tone in his voice has you clenching around nothing, humiliated and so turned on by his words. You tried to respond, maybe to deny his claim, maybe to agree, but all that came out around the hilt of his blade was a garbled moan. You sucked the hilt like you had his cock, keeping your eyes on his approving gaze.
“Fuck, that’s enough.” Azriel growled, pulling the blade from your mouth, “Turn around. Stay on all fours.”
You shuddered, nodding your head as you turned around quickly. Azriel’s hands roamed over your body, trailing over the lingerie you’d picked out for him. His fingers slipped beneath the straps of your top, toying with them by just slightly dragging them off your shoulders. He pressed a kiss to one of your shoulderblades as his hands slid over your stomach. His touch was reverent, a stark contrast to the way he’d shoved the hilt of his knife down your throat.
“Az, don’t tease.” You huffed.
“Not teasing. Appreciating.” He replied, biting down on your shoulder.
“I fucking missed this.”
His words had you melting, his fingers making quick work of your panties. He nipped at the skin of your thigh, your ass, as he dragged the lace down your legs, which had you trembling by the time he ran a finger down your core. He wasted no more time, plunging two fingers into you. You let out a startled moan, your head dropping forward as he slid his fingers in and out at a punishing pace. No more appreciating, then.
“Fuck, Az!” You moaned, earning you a bite on the hip and a curl of his fingers.
“I’ve barely touched you and you’re screaming my name. Is that all it takes, pet?”
“When it’s you.” Your answer is honest, and he knows it too.
His fingers don’t relent, not even as his thumb moves to press your clit. You cry out, clenching down on his fingers. This was what you’d been missing so badly. Your fingers could never do what his fingers did to you now. No matter what you tried, nothing could make you feel like Azriel did.
“I want you to come on my fingers first.” He said, his fingers curving upward to make you see stars.
Even without the order he gave, you were approaching your orgasm quickly. The sparks under your skin snapped brighter, hotter, and you knew you were a goner. A few quick rubs of his thumb had the cord in your gut snapping like a rubber band pulled too taut and you fell over the edge. You moaned his name as he continued to fuck you on his fingers, drawing out your whines and whimpers as long as he could.
He pulled his fingers out of you slowly, bringing them to his lips to suck them clean. You tried to catch your breath, your arms shaky beneath you as pleasure continued to zip through your veins. You choked on a sound at the blunt press of his cock against you, your pussy still clenching from having just come.
“Az, wait–”
“No.”
His patience had been thin the moment he’d landed back in Velaris after his mission. He had none left, not when he could feel your pussy trying to suck him in. Azriel pushed forward, groaning lowly as he sank into your tight heat. You whined at the intrusion, woefully understretched from just two of his fingers. The burn of him was thrilling, the stretch something you relished.
Your mate let out a deep grunt as he bottomed out inside you, stilling for a moment to trace his hand down your spine. Your head spun, dizzy from the feeling of him buried so deep, but you could’ve sworn you heard him mutter a quiet “beautiful” from where he stood above you.
When he drew his hips back and snapped them forward again, you practically screamed. Every nerve in your body was alive, singing at the feeling of having your mate home, having him inside you again. Azriel fucked you hard, not too fast, but deep and steady enough to have you crying out loudly at each thrust.
“You take me so well. Made for taking cock, aren’t you?” He grunted, settling his hands on your hips to pull you back into his thrusts.
“Yes, Az, made for it. I’m a slut for it.”
“That you are, pet. My cockhungry little whore.” He replied, making you moan louder still.
“Faster.” You breathed out, a knot once more forming in the pit of your stomach.
“Any faster and you’ll tell the whole house exactly what we’re up to.” He taunted, but the way his hips sped up betrayed him.
“A-As if they care.” You countered.
“Bite down on this.”
You focused your gaze to see Truth-Teller before you once more. Azriel’s hand carefully held the blade, the hilt balanced delicately in front of your face. You obliged, opening your mouth for the knife once more, sinking your teeth into the leather-wrapped hilt. The sound of your moans were muffled against the makeshift gag, and Azriel took that as all he needed to fully let loose.
He fucked into you without hesitation, his hips slamming into yours again and again. The four posts of the bed groaned as they shook from his movements. You felt a trail of spit slide down your chin from around the hilt of your mate’s weapon, dripping into the mattress below you. These sheets would need to be burned, you imagined. Your cunt clenched around him, making the male behind you groan.
“You’re close.” Azriel said, his voice deep.
You could only nod, even without the gag, the feeling of him rearranging your guts had sent you past the point of coherent sentences. One of Azriel’s scarred hands slid over your stomach and between your legs, two of his fingers rolling over your clit. He leaned over you, biting down on the shell of your ear as he fucked you.
“Come for me. Come because I said so. Because you’re mine.”
The growl in his voice was enough to tip you over the edge, your muscles tensing and relaxing as you came around him. Azriel managed two more harsh thrusts into you before he came with a low call of your name, rocking into you as you rode out your highs.
“Welcome home.” You murmured, once you’d let Truth-Teller fall from your mouth.
“I missed you so much.” He said, smoothing a hand over your side as he slid out of you, “I’ll avoid such long journeys in the future.”
“No, you won’t,” you laugh softly, breathlessly.
“You’re probably right. But I think I’ll keep you right here in this bed until the next one.”
“No complaints from me.”
Azriel chuckled softly, finally shucking off his uniform. His tanned muscles glistened with sweat, his tattoos now on proud display. You found your mouth watering all over again.
“Don’t give me that look. Rhysand told me he needed you to be able to walk tomorrow.” Azriel warned gently, though there was no malice behind it.
“Since when does Rhysand decide how much you get to fuck me?”
You watched something shift in Azriel’s eyes then, his mouth snapping shut as his jaw clenched once more, and you knew you were in for a long fucking night.
Azriel finally has a chance, and he won't let it go.
No more fake injuries. No more excuses. Just one night at the River House, the people who already know him best watching closer than usual, and a male finally done pretending he doesn't want this.
You had been getting ready for the better part of two hours, which was, by any reasonable measure, absurd.
You'd started with the green dress, decided it was too much, changed into something simpler, decided that was somehow worse, and were now standing in front of your mirror in the green dress again, having circled back to your first instinct after exhausting every other option in your wardrobe. Your hair had been up, then down, then half up in a manner you'd immediately undone out of pure indecision. You'd redone the same strand of hair behind your ear four separate times.
It was dinner. You had stood at that table more times than you could count, usually with someone's blood still drying under your fingernails, but you had never once sat at it. You did not need two hours to decide what to wear to dinner.
Except tonight wasn't a house call, and you knew it, and your reflection clearly knew it too, judging by how long you'd spent frowning at it.
You gave yourself one last look, smoothed a hand down the front of the dress you'd apparently decided on an hour and forty-five minutes ago and simply refused to admit to, and told yourself, firmly, that you were only nervous because you'd skipped lunch.
You did not believe yourself. You went anyway.
You raised your hand to knock, your foot barely settled on the top step, and the door opened before your knuckles ever touched wood.
You sucked in a breath. "How—"
"I just know," Azriel said, before you could finish, a smile tugging at his mouth like he'd been waiting behind that door for the exact sound of your footsteps on the stairs. He opened his mouth like he might actually explain it, the shadows, the listening, something, then visibly thought better of it and let the mystery stand instead, ears going faintly warm at his own nerve.
You felt suddenly, uncharacteristically shy under the weight of him actually looking at you, and reached up without quite meaning to, tucking a loose piece of hair behind your ear. It didn't go unnoticed. His gaze followed the movement, then dropped, slow, tracking the line of the deep green dress, down to where the hem brushed your ankles and back up again, in a way that made the hallway feel considerably warmer than it had a moment ago.
He caught his bottom lip between his teeth, like he was choosing his next words carefully, or like he simply couldn't help himself.
"You look beautiful," he said, voice low, rougher than usual, and he didn't stop there. He stepped closer, one hand coming up to rest against the doorframe beside your head, boxing you in without ever quite touching you, close enough now that you could feel the warmth radiating off him in the cool night air. His other hand found your cheek instead, light at first, testing, like he half expected you to step back, and when you didn't, his fingers curved in slightly firmer, thumb tracing an absent line along your cheekbone.
"Azriel." It came out quieter than you meant it to, more breath than voice, something caught halfway between a warning and a plea you weren't ready to name.
"Mm." He wasn't really listening. His gaze had dropped to your mouth and stayed there, slow and unblinking, the same way it always did right before he made you forget every clever thing you'd meant to say. He leaned in, slow enough that you felt every inch of it, his breath warm against your cheek, close enough that his nose brushed yours, close enough that the whole hallway seemed to narrow down to the small, charged space left between his mouth and yours, every nerve in your body lit up and waiting for something you didn't have a name for yet.
"Thank you for coming," he murmured, the words landing right against your jaw instead of your ear, low and rough enough that you felt them more than heard them, a current running straight down your spine before he'd even finished speaking.
Neither of you moved for one long, suspended second, the hush before something good stretched out until it ached. You looked up at him and he looked down at you, both of you breathing harder than the moment should have warranted, like the air between you had gotten thinner somehow.
Then Cassian's voice cracked straight through it like a thrown rock.
Azriel pulled back, slow and clearly reluctant about it, like every inch of distance cost him something, his hand lingering against your cheek a beat longer than the retreat really allowed for.
"Oh, hi, sunshine!" Cassian appeared in the doorway behind him, grinning wide enough to split his own face. "I'm relieved to find you both still wearing clothes, we weren't sure you could stay off each oth—"
"Cassian." Azriel cut him off flat, voice low and edged, the particular tone that made grown Illyrian warriors reconsider their life choices. "Finish that sentence and see what happens."
Cassian, wisely, did not finish the sentence. "Anyway. You just made me lose that bet, so, credit where it's due, congratulations on your restraint." He clapped Azriel on the shoulder, entirely too pleased with himself. "Truly heartbreaking work."
Azriel had gone thoroughly red by the time he turned back to you, jaw tight, the particular expression of a male recalculating every choice that had led him to this exact family.
"Excuse my dysfunctional family," he muttered.
You laughed, unable to help it, and some of your own nerves finally eased loose in the process.
"Are you two coming in," Cassian added, already retreating back inside, "or is this the part where I give you privacy and pretend I didn't see any of that?"
Azriel shot him a look sharp enough to have Cassian raising both hands in mock surrender, still grinning the whole way as he disappeared further inside. Then he turned back to you, all that edge melting straight back into softness, and reached for your hand instead, lacing his fingers through yours, easy and certain, guiding you through the door like he had absolutely no intention of letting go anytime soon.
The dining room was already loud by the time you stepped in, warm gold light and the smell of something good simmering, and every familiar face turned toward the two of you at once like they'd been waiting for this exact entrance.
"There he is," Mor said, not even bothering to look up from the wine she was pouring, "the male who spent the entire afternoon pacing the front hall instead of doing anything useful."
"I was not pacing," Azriel said, crossing his arms in a way that did nothing to help his case.
"You wore a groove into the floorboards. Rhys nearly had you reassigned to sentry duty just to give the rest of us some peace." Feyre didn't even try to hide her grin. "You opened that door before she'd even reached the top step. We were placing bets on how long you'd actually last."
"That's an invasion of privacy."
"It's a shared house, Azriel. You chose to have your crisis in the front hall."
"To be clear," Cassian announced, dropping into his seat and raising his glass before anyone had so much as picked up a fork, "I would like it on record that I called this months ago. I said, and I quote myself directly, 'that man is going to fake an injury to see her one of these days,' and everyone laughed at me. No one believed me. It was very hurtful, actually, and I don't think I've fully recovered."
"Aww, poor big baby," Mor cooed, patting Cassian's cheek without looking up from her wine. "Being right is not your forté."
"I resent that," Cassian said, swatting her hand away, undeterred. "I have excellent instincts. I just don't always get the details right."
"You once diagnosed yourself with a punctured lung because you sneezed wrong, or possibly too loud," you said, before you could stop yourself, and the whole table erupted, Cassian included, delighted that you'd had the receipts ready and waiting.
Azriel, beside you, had pressed his lips together, fighting a losing battle against his own smile, valiantly hiding it behind his wine glass.
"She's laughing! At my expense! In my own home!" Cassian pointed his fork at Azriel. "This is what you've done. You've turned my own healer against me."
"She's not your healer tonight," Rhys said mildly. "Tonight she's our guest."
The table quieted for half a beat, the kind of quiet that had weight to it. You'd stood at this exact table more times than you could count, elbows deep in someone's wound, running through casualty counts while blood dried on your hands, but you had never once sat at it. Never eaten a meal here. Never been handed a glass of wine instead of a roll of bandages. You'd been a fixture of this house for years without ever once being a guest in it.
Azriel's hand found yours under the table, brief, grounding, thumb moving once over your knuckles like he'd felt the shift too.
"You okay?" you murmured.
"Better than okay." He glanced at you sideways, some of the earlier nerves still lingering at the corners of his mouth, though there was nothing sheepish left in the way he was looking at you now. "I've watched you stand at this table more times than I can count, stitching one of us back together. I don't think I've ever gotten to just sit across from you at it before."
"You're allowed to just say you're glad I came," you said, looking at him over the rim of your glass, eyebrow raised, thoroughly enjoying making him work for it.
"I'm glad you came," he said, plain and unguarded, glancing around at Cassian mid-reenactment of some story only half the table was still listening to, Mor cackling, Rhys topping off everyone's wine with the satisfaction of a man who'd engineered the whole evening on purpose. "This room's never once felt small to me before. Not until you were sitting in it like this."
You didn't have anything clever to say to that. You just looked at him instead, something soft and open slipping loose in your own expression before you could think to stop it, the kind of look that had nothing left of banter in it at all. He noticed. Of course he noticed. His hand found yours again under the table and simply stayed there.
One by one, they drifted off. Feyre first, tugging a still-protesting Rhys away under some thin excuse neither of you believed for a second. Mor not long after, blowing you a kiss on her way out the door and promising, with real menace, that she'd be seeing you again soon. Cassian lingered longest, naturally, until Azriel gave him a look that finally, mercifully, sent him off toward his own wing of the house with a parting comment about thin walls that made you choke on your wine.
And then it was just the two of you, the dining room gone quiet and gold around you, candles burned low, the whole house settling into the particular hush that came after everyone else had gone.
Azriel led you through to the sitting room without a word, one hand light at the small of your back.
You drifted instead toward the hearth, where a fire had been banked low and steady for hours, throwing soft amber light across the room, your wine glass still cradled loosely in one hand as you watched the flames for a moment, the noise and warmth of the whole evening still humming pleasantly through you.
"That was a really nice dinner," you said quietly, mostly to the fire. "I mean that. All of it. Even Cassian." You turned the glass slowly by the stem, watching the firelight catch in it. "I could get used to it."
Something shifted in Azriel's chest at that. He crossed the space between you without a word, took the glass from your hand and set it on the mantel, fingers brushing yours a beat longer than necessary on the way. His hand found your waist, then slid slow up along your side to rest at the curve of your neck, before he turned you gently to face him fully, the fire warm at your back and Azriel warmer still in front of you.
He wasn't smiling. Not exactly. There was something far more open than that sitting behind his eyes, dark and steady and entirely undisguised, the look of a male who had run out of banter and games and careful distances and had nothing left standing between the two of you at all.
"Say that again," he said, low, thumb stroking slow along your cheek.
"Which part."
"That you could get used to it." His hand settled at your waist, fingers spread firm and warm through the fabric, like he needed something to anchor them while he said the rest. "Because I intend to make sure you do. Every version of it. This house, that table, all of it, for as long as you'll let me. I keep waiting for the part where this stops feeling like too much to hope for."
Your chest went tight, warm and aching all at once. "Azriel."
"I mean it." His gaze didn't waver from yours. "I have spent months inventing reasons to be near you. And tonight, watching you sit at that table like you belonged there, because you do, I don't have a single excuse left. I don't want one."
"You don't need one," you said, barely a whisper. "You never did."
"I know that now."
He reached up and brushed a strand of hair back from your face, slow and careful, nothing at all standing between the two of you except the small, charged inch of space he was closing.
He opened his mouth, then stopped, jaw working, the same unguarded flicker from the doorstep crossing his face again before he let it stay this time instead of retreating behind a smirk.
He exhaled, long and slow, like he was letting go of something he'd been holding onto for months.
"I am in love with you, y/n," he said, quiet and certain, like it was the simplest fact he'd ever stated, like he'd been carrying it so long that saying it out loud was almost a relief. "I think I've been in love with you since the first time you pulled an arrow out of my arm and didn't so much as flinch, just scolded me for waiting too long to come to you. I just didn't let myself call it that until now."
Your eyes stung, unexpected and sudden, and you didn't bother trying to hide it. "I love you too. I was so scared, every time you showed up, that I'd find you in pieces one of these days. Even when you weren't. Especially then."
Something in him broke open at that, gentle and complete. He didn't move right away, just looked at you, that same dark, unguarded intensity from before pinning you in place, like he was memorizing the moment before he let himself have it.
"Can I?" he asked, low, though you both already knew what he meant.
"Yes," you breathed, before he'd even finished asking.
He closed the last of the distance like a man finally allowed to stop holding himself back, one hand sliding into your hair, the other splayed firm against the small of your back, pulling you flush against him like months of restraint had simply run out all at once. The moment his mouth met yours, something deep in your chest gave way, sudden and searing, a thread you'd felt before but never let yourself name, pulling taut between the two of you like it had always been there, simply waiting for permission to snap into place. Azriel went rigid for half a heartbeat, breath catching hard against your lips, like he'd felt it too.
"Did you feel that?" he murmured against your mouth, barely a whisper, more breath than words.
"Yes," you managed, dazed, chest still humming with it.
He kissed you again before either of you could say anything more, like he'd rather feel the answer than talk about it, and you let him, both of you too far gone to want to stop and examine something that already felt this certain. It was not careful this time. It was searching, deep, a slow-building ache finally let loose, his mouth moving against yours with a hunger that had clearly been banked far longer than either of you had let on, and you answered it just as fiercely, fingers curling into his shirt and dragging him closer, chasing the feeling of finally, finally having this.
He groaned low against your mouth, the sound vibrating through you, and his hand at your back pressed you in tighter still, like there wasn't a single inch of space left he was willing to allow between you anymore. There was something almost helpless in the way he kissed you now, control fraying at the edges, like whatever had just snapped into place between you had loosened something he'd spent centuries keeping leashed.
His mouth grew more insistent, less careful, chasing you deeper into the kiss every time you tried to catch your breath, like the taste of you had become something he physically could not get enough of. You felt it in the way his hands trembled faintly where they gripped you, in the low, wrecked sound he made every time you pressed closer instead of pulling away.
You lost track, for a while, of the fire, the room, the rest of the house, aware of nothing except the drag of his mouth and the desperate, relieved way his hands kept moving over you, your jaw, your waist, the curve of your spine, as though he needed to memorize every part of you now that he was finally allowed to, now that some ancient, wordless part of him had decided you were his and had no intention of being reasonable about it.
When he finally broke away, both of you gasping, he didn't go far, forehead dropping to rest against yours, his hands still tangled in your hair like he couldn't quite bring himself to let go yet.
"This," he murmured against your hair, voice still rough, "went considerably better than I let myself expect."
You laughed softly, burying your smile against his shoulder as he wrapped both arms around you properly, tucking you into him like he intended to keep you there for a very long time.
"You were nervous about tonight?"
"Terrified. I've faced down enemy encampments with less dread than I felt on your doorstep this afternoon." He pressed a kiss to the top of your head. "Worth every second of it."
He didn't let go after that. He simply held you there instead, arms wrapped fully around you, chin settling into your hair, content in a way you'd never once seen from him, not even in all the quiet moments you'd shared before tonight. You let yourself sink into it, into him, in no hurry at all to be anywhere else.
The fire burned low and steady beside you, and somewhere upstairs, very faintly, you were fairly sure you heard Mor's triumphant whisper of finally drift down through the floorboards.
---
a/n: Sooo this is the end, thank you for reading, it was so fun to explore this side of Az 💙
Azriel's out of excuses, which leaves him with the one thing he's never actually tried: showing up with no reason at all
Cassian told the story exactly once before Rhys made him repeat it three more times, purely for his own entertainment.
"So he flies in," Cassian said, wheezing, one hand braced against the war table like he needed it to stay upright, "looking like death itself, ribs supposedly cracked, the whole tragic I might not make it routine—"
"I don't sound like that," Azriel said flatly, from the window, arms crossed, wings mantled tight in the universal posture of a male deeply regretting every choice that had led him to this exact conversation.
"You absolutely sound like that. And then." Cassian held up a finger, savoring it. "Nothing. Not a scratch. She checks him twice. Twice, Rhys. Nothing there at all. Turns out our terrifying, unreadable Shadowsinger flew across half the territory and lied to a healer's face because he wanted an excuse to see a pretty girl."
"Shut up, Cassian."
"I have never respected you more in my entire life."
"Shut up, Cassian."
Rhys, to his credit, did not laugh outright. He had the grace to press his knuckles briefly to his mouth, shoulders shaking with the effort of it, before settling into something almost dignified. Almost.
"That's remarkably poor tactics," he said, "for a spymaster."
"I'm aware."
"You could have just told her."
"I'm aware, Rhys."
"I'm only saying. There are easier ways to get a woman's attention than inventing structural damage to your own skeleton."
"If you'd like a real reason to fly to a healer," Cassian offered, entirely too pleased with himself, already rolling up one sleeve, "I would be happy to provide one. Free of charge. Consider it a gift."
Azriel did not dignify that with a response.
"I mean it. One good hit. You'd barely feel it, you're very durable, everyone says so—"
"You should invite her here," Rhys said, cutting neatly through whatever Cassian had been building toward, the picture of reasonable, unbothered helpfulness. "Dinner. Properly, this time. No fabricated injuries required."
Azriel's jaw ticked, the closest thing to hesitation he ever let show in front of either of them. "No."
"Why not."
"Because Cassian would be there."
"I would be delightful," Cassian said, deeply wounded. "I would be on my absolute best behavior."
"You brought up the rockfall four times in the last ten minutes."
"That's different. That's just good material. I can't be expected to sit on good material, it isn't natural." Cassian spread his hands, entirely sincere now, some of the teasing dropping out of his voice. "Come on. You know I love the girl. In the platonic, deeply respectful way one loves someone who single-handedly caught you in the most embarrassing lie of your very long life. I'll behave."
"You will not."
"I will try."
Rhys, watching the two of them with the particular fondness of a male who had, several centuries ago, given up trying to referee this exact friendship, took a slow sip of his wine.
"For what it's worth," he said, "I think she'd say yes. To dinner. Even with him there."
Azriel didn't answer right away. He looked back out the window instead, toward the lights of Velaris scattered gold below, toward the general direction of a small candlelit room that smelled like chamomile and clean linen, where a cat that liked him more than she liked her own owner was probably curled by the hearth right now.
"I'll think about it," he said, which both of them correctly understood to mean yes, and I've already thought about nothing else for days.
Cassian grinned like he'd won something. "I'll bring wine."
"You will not be invited."
"I'll bring wine anyway."
You were still sorting your vials when a hesitant knock came at your door. At this hour, you weren't expecting any patient. Odd, you thought.
As you opened the door, you heard a slow exhale, then—
"Azriel?" The surprise was written all over your face. For once, he wasn't wearing his armor. He simply stood there, dressed all in black, siphons gone. It was such an odd sight, compared to every other situation you'd seen the male in.
There was an awkward silence for a few seconds. He looked nervous. His scarred hand went through his hair, then dropped, then found its way back up again like it hadn't quite settled on a decision. Then your eyes drifted to his other hand, knuckles white, holding a small bouquet of flowers. His grip on the stems was so tight you half expected them to snap.
"Hi," he said, his gaze burning into yours.
"Hi," you answered, smiling. "So… You did come without any injuries this time," you teased.
The corner of his mouth shyly lifted, and something warm crept up the column of his throat before it settled high on his cheekbones, faint but unmistakable against his tan. "I did," he answered. "I—uh." He started, then stopped, jaw working, the hand not currently strangling the flowers dragging through his hair again. "These are for you," and he handed you the flowers, crushed at the stems, to be honest. It made your heart clench a little harder, thinking about how nervous he was.
"Sorry… rough flight." His mouth flattened, and that made you smile even more.
"Why are you bringing me flowers in the middle of the afternoon, Azriel?" you asked, almost mischievous. The sight was too delightful, and you were not going to pretend otherwise. You crossed your arms and let yourself simply enjoy watching the unshakeable Shadowsinger shift his weight from one foot to the other like a boy called up in front of a class.
"Right, I—uh." You couldn't believe the spymaster of the Night Court was actually nervous enough that he couldn't find his words. He cleared his throat, once, then again when the first attempt clearly hadn't done the job, and asked, "I'd like to invite you to dinner. At the River House." He almost spoke too fast, the words tripping slightly over each other on their way out.
"Rhys is hosting a small gathering tonight, and we, I mean— I would love to have you with us," he said sheepishly, one hand rubbing the back of his neck now, the other still hovering awkwardly at his side, unsure what to do with itself now that it no longer had stems to occupy it.
"Tonight?" you asked again, checking the clock behind you; it was already mid-afternoon.
"Yes, tonight." He seemed to realize the invitation came a little late. "I know it's short notice. I should have asked days ago. I've been meaning to. I just—" He stopped, jaw tightening, visibly annoyed with himself for fumbling something he'd clearly rehearsed better in his head, shoulders drawing up toward his ears like he could physically shrink away from his own awkwardness if he just tried hard enough.
"You've been meaning to for days," you repeated, watching him with the same delighted, narrow-eyed attention you usually reserved for catching him mid-lie.
"Cassian accelerated the timeline. Threatened to ask you himself if I didn't." He looked, for one unguarded second, like a little boy holding himself up straighter than he actually felt, chin lifted, shoulders squared, entirely undone by the whole effort of it. "So, here I am."
"That does sound like something he'd threaten to do, indeed."
"So. Dinner. Tonight, if you can." He exhaled, long and slow, and something in his shoulders eased slightly now that the worst of it was out, though his hands still hadn't quite settled on where to rest. "If you can't, I'll find an excuse to ask you again tomorrow, though I'm told I'm no longer permitted to invent injuries for that purpose."
"You're not," you agreed. "Precedent's been set."
"Cruelly."
You looked down at the flowers in your hands, crushed and a little wilted and somehow more convincing than anything smooth he could have said instead, and then back up at him, still watching you with that same careful stillness, hands now empty and clearly unsure what to do with themselves now that they no longer had stems to hold onto.
"Yes," you said. "I'll come tonight."
Something in him loosened all at once, the whole careful architecture easing, like he'd been holding his breath since he'd landed on your doorstep. His hands finally stilled.
"Yes," he repeated, like he needed to hear it a second time to trust it.
"Obviously yes. You flew here in the middle of the day, out of armor, holding flowers you clearly fought a hedge for. I wasn't going to say no."
"I did not fight a hedge."
"Azriel. There are leaves in your hair."
He reached up to find it, patting blindly at the wrong side of his head entirely, and you huffed out a laugh and reached up yourself before you could think better of it, fingers brushing through the dark strands until you found the offending leaf and plucked it free. He went very still under your hand, breath catching audibly, and you were close enough now to feel the warmth coming off him, close enough to watch his throat work around a swallow he clearly hadn't planned on.
You didn't step back right away. Neither did he.
"There," you said, quieter than you meant to, the leaf forgotten between your fingers. "Fought bravely."
His eyes had gone dark and unhurried, tracking the shift from your fingers still tangled faintly at his temple down to your mouth and back up again, slow enough that you felt it everywhere. The tips of his ears had gone faintly red, you noted, delighted, filing it away for future use.
"I'm aware," he said, biting the inside of his cheek, gaze dropping briefly to the ground before dragging back up to yours like he couldn't quite help himself.
Your cat chose that moment to appear, winding around his ankles with her usual traitorous enthusiasm, and he looked down at her, then back up at you, making no effort at all to hide how pleased he was with how this had gone, even with his hands still faintly restless at his sides.
"So, I'll see you tonight then?"
"You will," he agreed, and the way he said it made it sound like the furthest thing from simple he'd ever attempted.
He lingered a moment longer on your threshold, the way he always did, like leaving still cost him something even now that he had an actual reason to come back.
"For what it's worth," he said, "that was considerably harder than flying into an ambush."
"Oh, I believe you." You laughed it off, and reached out on impulse to smooth the collar of his shirt where it had gone slightly askew, an entirely unnecessary correction that had nothing to do with the collar at all. His hand caught yours before you'd finished, not stopping you, just holding it there against his chest a moment longer than the gesture required, warm and solid under your palm. "I'll see you tonight, Azriel."
"Yes." He pressed something that was almost a kiss to your knuckles instead, brief and deliberate, before finally letting your hand go. He held your gaze a beat too long to be casual about it, something warm and unguarded still sitting behind his eyes, before he finally stepped back off the threshold, wings shifting to catch the afternoon air.
You stood in your doorway long after he'd gone, a crushed and slightly wilted bouquet still cradled in one arm, and thought that for a male who talked his way past entire enemy encampments for a living, Azriel had never once managed to make a clean exit from your porch. You found, watching the last of him disappear over the rooftops, that you rather hoped he never learned how.
---
part 3
---
a/n : I'm so sorry it took so long to update yall on part 2 guys, life has been really busy lately (and a little chaotic 💀)
Azriel has a favorite healer when it comes to treating his injuries. The problem is, sometimes he doesn't know what to say to show up. A fluffy, banter-filled one-shot about bad excuses, and a confession that slips out before either of them means it to.
The knock came well past midnight, not that it was really a knock. It was more of a scrape, three shadows dragging themselves against your door like they weren't quite sure they were allowed to ask.
You knew before you opened it who it would be. You always did. Your magic had a way of humming low in your chest whenever he was near, a warm little pulse that had started months ago and never quite stopped.
"You're late," you said, opening the door to find Azriel leaning against the frame like the wood was the only thing holding him up. Which, to be fair, it might have been.
He didn't answer right away. He just looked at you, the particular way he always did in that first unguarded second before he remembered himself, like the sight of you undid something he'd spent the whole flight over trying to keep tied down.
"I wasn't aware I had an appointment."
"You always have an appointment. You just never bother to schedule it." You stepped back to let him in, and your eyes did the quick, practiced sweep: shoulders, ribs, the set of his jaw, the way he was favoring his left side by approximately nothing at all. "You're not even bleeding."
"It isn't bad."
"You say that every time. Last month you said that with an arrow still in your leg."
"It was a graze."
"It was lodged in bone, Azriel."
He had the decency to look faintly sheepish about that one, shadows curling around his shoulders like they were trying to hide him from the memory.
You loved, you were fond of, you corrected yourself, fond of, that was all, the way his shadows behaved around you. Skittish with everyone else, prone to whispering secrets and slipping away before anyone could catch them.
But here, in your small candlelit room that smelled like crushed chamomile and clean linen, they draped themselves over the back of your chair. Utterly at ease. Utterly unbothered by you rifling through your case of tinctures two feet away.
Traitors, all of them.
Your cat was no better. A sleek black shadow of her own, she uncurled from her spot by the hearth the moment Azriel stepped through the door, abandoning you entirely to wind herself around his ankles, purring like he'd personally hung the moon.
His shadows, delighted, promptly wove themselves between her paws, and the two of them commenced their usual game, dark tendril and darker cat chasing each other in lazy circles across your floor.
"She likes you more than she likes me," you said, not for the first time. "And I feed her."
"She has excellent taste. Just like her owner, it seems," he said, with the shameless, easy smile of a man who knew exactly what he was doing and had no intention of stopping.
You sighed, fighting a smile you refused to let him see. "Sit," you said, nodding at the low table you kept for exactly this purpose, Azriel-shaped emergencies at ungodly hours.
He sat. He always sat.
That was the part that unraveled you most, if you were honest: Azriel, who took orders from no one, who Rhys himself had to ask rather than tell, folded himself onto your stool without a word of protest, every single time, like it had never once occurred to him to do otherwise.
Cassian had made a comment about it once, something about a leash and a good boy, and Azriel had thrown a knife close enough to part his hair.
"So," you said, kneeling in front of him. "What is it this time."
"Ribs. Rockfall, northern border. I think one's cracked."
"Did you at least win?"
"I'm the one sitting in a healer's chair at two in the morning. What do you think?"
"I think," you said, letting your magic uncurl from your palms, warm and gold and slow, "that you came here anyway, even though Madja's closer to the border camp than I am."
Something shifted in him at that, subtle, the kind of thing you'd have missed a year ago, before you'd learned to read Azriel the way you read wounds. A stillness. A held breath.
"Well, what can I say." He shrugged, unbothered. "Madja doesn't make tea."
"Seriously, that's your reason?" You raised an eyebrow, not quite believing him.
"It's a good reason," he said, entirely too serious for how absurd it sounded.
"I know you hate my tea," you shot back, fighting a smile.
"I never said I did." He said it too fast to be convincing.
"You don't have to. You make a face everytime you drink it." You said it standing, towering over him for once, arms crossed, thoroughly unimpressed.
"Someone is very observant," he teased, his hands settling soft at your hips like they'd been waiting the whole visit for an excuse, thumbs pressing absent, distracted circles into the fabric there.
"Show me where it hurts," you said finally, stepping back, magic already gathering warm at your fingertips, "before you distract me into forgetting why you're here at all."
He reached for the hem of his shirt instead of answering, pulling it over his head with unhurried ease, far slower than the task required, leaving himself bare-chested in your candlelight and entirely too aware of exactly what he was doing and exactly how long he was taking to do it. You swallowed, and hated yourself for it, and hated him more for noticing.
He guided your hand to his side, low along the ribs, and hissed, right on cue, a beat too early to be entirely convincing. You pressed two fingers there and let your magic unspool further, gold light sinking beneath skin the way it always did, reading bone and muscle like a book you'd long since memorized.
You waited for the telltale snag. The place where healthy tissue gave way to something torn or fractured.
It didn't come.
You pressed again, harder this time, right where he'd flinched. Nothing. No bruise. No hairline crack. Nothing but warm, unmarked skin over perfectly intact bone, and a heartbeat under your palm that was going faster than it had any business going for a man in genuine pain.
You sat back slightly, frowning. "There's nothing here."
"It's a deep bruise. Sometimes those don't show right away."
"I've pulled arrowheads out of muscle by feel alone in the dark. I think I can find a bruise, Azriel."
"Healer's magic isn't infallible."
"Mine is, actually."
He just held very still, the particular stillness of a man doing rapid, silent math on whether brazening it out was still a viable strategy.
"You flew across half the territory," you said slowly, "for an injury that doesn't exist."
"I didn't say that."
"You didn't have to. I just told you." You crossed your arms, watching him with the same narrow-eyed patience you usually reserved for actual wounds. "So. What is it this time. And don't say nothing, because we've already established that whatever it is, it isn't your ribs."
Silence, for a long moment. His shadows had drawn close around his boots, quiet in the particular way they only went when he was about to say something that cost him.
"It's late," he said instead, which was not a denial, which was somehow worse than a denial. "I should let you sleep."
"You are not leaving this room until you tell me why you actually flew here at midnight and lied to a healer's face to do it."
Another silence. Longer this time. You watched something war behind his eyes, the same careful calculation he probably used on interrogations, except this time he was the one being read, and he knew it.
"Fine. I didn't have a reason to come," he admitted finally, quiet, like the words cost him something to hand over. "So I made one up. Happy?"
You opened your mouth. Closed it again.
"You faked an injury," you said, "because you wanted to see me?"
"When you say it like that, it sounds significantly more pathetic."
"It is significantly more pathetic."
"I'm aware." He had the grace to look almost chastened about it, shadows curling tighter around his shoulders like they were trying to hide him from his own confession. "You could pretend not to enjoy this quite so much."
"I could," you agreed. "But I won't."
He exhaled, something in his shoulders finally, finally dropping, the tension of a man who'd been caught and found, against all odds, that the world hadn't ended because of it.
"So," you murmured, more to yourself than him, magic settling back into your palms, unused and faintly amused. "No fracture. No bruise. Just a Spymaster with terrible instincts for lying to the one person who can literally feel the truth under his skin."
"You sound really smug."
"I earned it. You've lied to me in this exact chair eleven times. This might be the worst one yet."
"You're counting."
"I'm a healer. Documentation matters."
He watched you while you knelt there, which he always did, dark eyes steady in a way that should have felt clinical, and never, ever did, not even now that there was nothing left to treat.
Your hand was still resting against his side, entirely unnecessary at this point, warmth long since finished doing nothing at all. You caught yourself and pulled back before it became something worth commenting on, though not quite fast enough to miss the way his jaw tightened, the way his throat worked around something he didn't say.
"You nearly convinced me you were in pain."
"I nearly convinced myself." He said it lightly, but something underneath it wasn't light at all. "Didn't plan it. Just happened, somewhere over the mountains, once I'd already decided I was coming."
You busied your hands capping tinctures you didn't need to cap, giving yourself something to do that wasn't reaching for him again. The candle had burned low enough now that his shadows had gone soft and half-transparent in the dim, still curled loose and unbothered around the cat's tail by the hearth.
"Why," you said finally, not quite looking at him, "do you need an excuse at all?"
The silence that followed lasted long enough that you almost regretted asking.
"I don't know." He said it low, the words coming out rougher than he meant them to, like he hadn't planned on saying them at all. "I just... I wanted to see you."
You looked up at that.
He was watching you with an intensity that had nothing to do with tactics, nothing to do with the careful games he played with everyone else in his life, and for a moment neither of you said anything at all, both of you caught in the kind of quiet that usually came right before something changed, like he was still deciding whether he regretted letting that slip out at all.
"Oh," you said, which was not eloquent, but was the only thing that made it past your throat.
"Yes. Oh." A ghost of dry humor crept back into his voice, like he was using it to climb back to solid ground. "Feel free to never bring it up again."
"You're impossible," you said instead.
"You're the one who let me in."
"I let injured people in, it's my job."
Something flickered across his face then, quick and unguarded, gone almost before you could name it, like he'd nearly said something even truer and swallowed it back down at the last second. When he spoke again his voice had smoothed back into something safer. "I'll think of a better excuse next time."
"There won't be a next time."
"Good," he said. "Next time I won't need one."
"Azriel." It came out as half warning, half something else entirely, and he had the audacity to look pleased about it.
"That tone," he said, "is new."
"Don't get used to it."
"Too late." The almost-smile again, small and real and aimed only at you. "And by the way, I like startling you." A beat. "The noise you make is my favorite part of the visit."
"I do not make an undignified noise," you said, folding your arms like that settled it.
"You squeaked last time." A ghost of a smirk.
"You came through the window," you said, narrowing your eyes, "because you didn't want to wake Cassian, not because it was tactically necessary."
"Cassian gossips."
"So you'd rather startle me," you said flatly, though you couldn't quite keep the corner of your mouth from betraying you.
"Considerably rather." His thumb moved, slow, deliberate, against the back of your hand, scarred skin against yours, and he watched for your reaction the way he watched everything, cataloguing it. "You're very easy to unsettle."
"I'm not unsettled."
"Your pulse says otherwise, sweetheart." His gaze deepened. "I can feel it. Right here."
His shadows had gone quiet around your feet, watching the two of you the way an audience watches a game neither player will admit to playing, and the space between you had somehow, without either of you moving, become smaller than it should have been.
"You should go home," you said. "You clearly don't need me here."
"Are you asking me to leave?"
"I'm telling you to."
You held his gaze a beat too long to call it professional, and broke it a beat too late to call it nothing.
"Get out, Azriel."
"Why don't you make me," he said, voice dropping low, and didn't step back. If anything he stepped closer, close enough that you had to tip your head to hold his gaze, close enough that you felt the words more than heard them.
Neither of you moved for one long, suspended second. His eyes dropped to your mouth, unhurried, deliberate, and didn't immediately come back up.
"I have a very sharp needle," you said, voice not quite as steady as you wanted it, "and no patience left for a man who's already wasted my night on a lie."
You strode past him and hauled the door open to make the point for you, and nearly walked straight into Cassian.
He was doubled over on your doorstep, one hand braced against the frame, wings heaving like he'd flown the length of the continent in under an hour, which, judging by the state of him, he might have.
"You absolute bastard," Cassian wheezed, glaring past you at Azriel like you weren't even there. "You flew so fast I nearly clipped a mountain trying to keep up. What in the seven hells was the emergency, I thought you were dying—" Cassian stopped for a second.
You looked him over anyway, out of pure reflex, and found nothing worse than windswept hair and deeply wounded pride.
"Are you okay, Cass?" you asked.
"I am not okay, I nearly had a heart attack watching him dive off like the world was ending—" Cassian froze mid-sentence, one hand still raised in the air, and you watched the realization dawn across his face in slow, glorious stages: confusion, suspicion, and finally something like pure, radiant delight. "Wait." A beat. "Wait." He rounded on Azriel with the look of a man who'd just found gold. "Mother above, you made it up."
He put his hand over his mouth, wheezing. "You made up an injury. To come here." Cassian looked between the two of you, grin spreading slow and merciless. "Oh, wait until Rhys hears about this. He is never going to let it go."
"Rhys hears about this," Azriel said, very evenly, "and you lose a wing."
Cassian did not look remotely deterred.
"Alright, both of you, out," you said, which didn't really solve anything, but effectively ended the conversation.
You shooed them both toward the door eventually, one significantly more amused than the other, and Azriel lingered on your threshold the way he always did, like leaving cost him something he wasn't willing to name.
He looked at you, slow and unhurried, and for one unguarded second his mask slipped, something raw flashing behind those dark eyes before he banked it, buried it the way he buried everything, leaving only the smirk, giving nothing away except that he knew exactly what that look was doing to you.
"Next time," he said, "I'll come up with something more convincing."
"You won't need to." You said it before you could think better of it, quieter than you meant to, though you didn't take it back. "Next time, just come."
He held your gaze a moment longer, something burning low and unhidden behind those hazel eyes, then stepped back over the threshold, wings cutting the dark as he went. "Goodnight, y/n."
"Goodnight, Azriel," you answered.
You stood in your doorway long after he'd gone, arms crossed, telling yourself the warmth in your chest was irritation at being lied to, and knowing, with the particular clarity healers reserved for diagnoses they didn't want to make, that it was not irritation at all.
--
Part 2
a/n : I had so much fun writing this one, I just love when Az is already gone for reader 🤭
John Soap MacTavish
You’re mid-sentence when your words trail off and your head tips forward-straight into Soap’s shoulder. He freezes. Completely. Like someone hit pause on him. Then slowly, very slowly, a grin spreads across his face. “Well, look at you,” he murmurs softly, barely above a whisper. He adjusts his posture so you don’t wake, one arm sliding around your waist to keep you steady. He doesn’t move for ages. Doesn’t check his phone. Doesn’t breathe too hard. If anyone tries to talk to him, he shushes them aggressively. You’re warm, heavy, trusting-and he treats it like the highest honor imaginable.
Simon Ghost Riley
You lean against him casually at first. Then your breathing changes. Slows. Your weight settles fully into him. Ghost notices instantly. He glances down at you, eyes softening in a way no one else gets to see. Without a word, he shifts slightly, angling his body to support you better. His hand comes up-hesitant at first-then rests firmly at your back. Protective. Steady. If someone comments, he levels them with a stare sharp enough to end the conversation. He doesn’t wake you. Doesn’t tease you later. He just stays there, letting you sleep on him like it’s the most natural thing in the world.
Kyle Gaz Garrick
Gaz is mid-laugh when your head drops onto his chest and stays there. He blinks. “Oh.” His voice lowers instantly. He carefully wraps an arm around you, the other hand brushing your hair back from your face. He tries not to move too much, but he absolutely takes a picture for blackmail later—soft, sweet blackmail. He keeps talking quietly if others are around, like he’s narrating in nature-documentary voice: “And here we observe Y/N in their natural habitat…” But his hand never leaves your back. He’s ridiculously pleased. You trusted him enough to fall asleep. He’s not letting that go unnoticed.
John Price
You were sitting beside him, close but not clinging. Then your head tilts against his shoulder and your breathing evens out. Price pauses mid-thought. He glances down, expression softening immediately. “Long day, hm?” he murmurs quietly. He shifts just enough to make you more comfortable, sliding his arm around your shoulders and pulling you gently closer. His thumb traces slow circles at your arm, absentminded and grounding. He doesn’t wake you-not even when his tea goes cold. If anyone asks him something, he answers in low tones so you stay asleep. He wears the faintest, proudest smile the whole time.
Gary Roach Sanderson
Roach is bouncing his leg absentmindedly when your head lands on him-and he panics, immediately freezing like he’s holding a bomb. “Oh no-don’t move-don’t breathe-” he whispers to himself. He very slowly slides an arm around you, looking wildly proud and mildly terrified at the same time. If you shift closer, he beams like he just won an award. He keeps glancing down at your face with the softest smile, barely containing his happiness. The second someone makes noise nearby, he shoos them away dramatically. You’re asleep. On him. That’s it. That’s his entire personality now.
Nikolai
You barely warn him before you slump sideways and fully collapse onto his chest. Nikolai laughs softly at first-then notices you’re actually asleep. His large hand comes up instinctively, cradling the back of your head with surprising gentleness. “Ah,” he murmurs warmly. “Little one is tired.” He leans back slightly so you’re more secure, basically turning into a human couch. He doesn’t mind the weight. If anything, he seems pleased. He hums under his breath-low, soothing-and stays exactly where he is until you wake. If anyone tries to move you, he waves them off. “Let them rest.”
Alejandro Vargas
Alejandro notices the second your eyelids droop. When your head tips onto his shoulder, he smiles immediately, hand sliding to your waist to keep you steady. “Descansa,” he whispers, pressing a soft kiss to your temple. He shifts so you’re more comfortable, letting you lean fully against his chest. If someone interrupts, he answers quietly without moving you. He looks impossibly proud, like this is a victory of trust. Every so often he glances down at your sleeping face, brushing a stray hair away with tender fingers. You wake up still wrapped in his arms, exactly where you fell.
Rodolfo Rudy Parra
Rudy goes completely still the second you fall asleep on him. He barely breathes, afraid to wake you. His arm hovers awkwardly for a second before gently wrapping around you. He adjusts carefully so your head rests more comfortably against him. He smiles down at you-soft, shy, almost disbelieving. If anyone teases him, he blushes instantly but doesn’t move you. He might lightly rest his cheek against your hair, just for a moment. When you stir, he whispers softly, “It’s okay. I’ve got you.” And he means it in the gentlest way possible.
Valeria Garza
Valeria pretends not to notice at first when you lean against her. Then your weight fully settles and she realizes-you’re asleep. She smirks faintly, sliding an arm around you with possessive ease. “So trusting,” she murmurs softly. She adjusts you against her side, fingers resting at your waist, thumb tracing slow lines absentmindedly. If anyone comments, she silences them with a look sharp enough to cut glass. She doesn’t wake you. Doesn’t tease you about it later-at least not too much. But there’s something undeniably satisfied in the way she holds you. You chose her shoulder to sleep on. She won’t forget it.
Keegan Russ
You slump against Keegan mid-conversation, your head landing squarely against his shoulder. He goes completely still, like any movement might break something delicate. His hand hovers awkwardly before finally settling at your waist to keep you steady. He adjusts just enough so you don’t strain your neck, movements careful and precise. He doesn’t speak. Doesn’t joke. Just sits there, eyes softening in a way almost no one ever sees. If someone tries to wake you, he shakes his head once. Firm. Protective. You wake later still leaning on him-and he pretends he didn’t stay frozen for an hour straight.
König
You fall asleep against König and he nearly short-circuits. You’re small in comparison, fully relaxed against his chest, and he’s suddenly terrified to move. His big hands carefully wrap around you like you’re made of glass. He shifts slightly so you’re more secure, one hand supporting your back, the other resting gently over yours. His breathing slows to match yours. He doesn’t dare speak above a whisper. If anyone makes noise nearby, he glares them into silence. He looks down at you like you just handed him something priceless. He will absolutely refuse to move until you wake up on your own.
Nikto
You don’t even notice yourself drifting off until your body leans fully into him. Nikto feels the shift immediately. His hand comes up to steady you without hesitation, fingers firm at your side. He studies your sleeping face quietly, almost analytically-then something soft flickers behind his eyes. He adjusts you so your head rests more comfortably against his chest. His thumb traces slow, grounding lines at your hip. He doesn’t allow anyone near. His presence becomes territorial. Protective. You wake still tucked against him, and he simply says, “You needed rest,” like that explains everything.
Krueger
Krueger notices the second your voice fades. When you collapse gently against him, he smirks at first-then realizes you’re fully asleep. The smirk softens. He wraps an arm around you, surprisingly gentle, guiding you into a more comfortable position. “Well… this is new,” he murmurs quietly. He stays unusually still, letting you rest without teasing. If anyone approaches, he stares them down until they back off. He may press a light kiss to your temple when no one’s looking. When you wake, he acts amused-but there’s pride in the way he says, “You trust me that much, hm?”
Philip Graves
You nod off mid-sentence, head falling against Graves’ chest. He goes silent immediately, one arm wrapping around you instinctively. “Well now,” he whispers softly, grin fading into something warmer. He shifts so you’re fully supported, careful not to wake you. He absolutely enjoys the fact that you’re asleep on him. If someone comments, he answers quietly but doesn’t move. His hand rests steady at your back, thumb stroking absentminded circles. He stays put until you stir, then pretends he didn’t just spend half an hour staring at you like you hung the stars.
Farah Karim
Farah feels you relax against her and immediately adjusts, guiding you gently into a more comfortable position. She cradles your head against her shoulder, one arm wrapping securely around your waist. Her thumb moves slowly along your arm in calming strokes. She doesn’t say much-just keeps her breathing steady so you stay asleep. If someone gets too loud nearby, she silences them with a look. There’s a quiet tenderness in the way she holds you-protective, steady, reassuring. When you wake, she smiles softly and says, “You needed it,” like she knew before you did.
Hadir Karim
Hadir is mid-complaint about something when your head drops against him. He pauses, confused, then realizes you’re asleep. His tone softens immediately. “Seriously?” he mutters-but there’s no annoyance in it. He shifts carefully, pulling you closer so you don’t slide. One hand rests firmly at your waist, the other brushing lightly against your hair. He keeps pretending he’s not affected, but he absolutely is. If someone teases him, he snaps quietly for them to lower their voices. You wake to find him still there, arm secure around you, like he never moved.
Alex Keller
You fall asleep mid-lean and Alex freezes like he just got handed fragile cargo. “Oh-okay-okay,” he whispers to himself. He gently adjusts you, making sure your neck isn’t at a weird angle. His arm wraps around you comfortably, thumb tracing lazy circles on your side. He looks ridiculously pleased, like he won something. He doesn’t stop smiling the entire time you’re asleep. If someone tries to take a photo, he shoos them away dramatically. When you wake, he grins and says, “Best compliment ever.” And honestly? He means it.
Laswell
Laswell notices your breathing change first. When you slump gently into her side, she adjusts seamlessly, wrapping an arm around you and angling you so you’re supported properly. She doesn’t comment on it. She just continues whatever she was doing-quietly, carefully-so you stay asleep. Her hand rests steady against your back, grounding and warm. If anyone makes noise, she gives them a look that ends the conversation instantly. You wake still nestled beside her, and she simply says, “You looked exhausted.” No teasing. Just quiet care.
Makarov
You drift off without warning, leaning fully against him. Makarov goes still. Very still. His arm wraps around you with firm certainty, pulling you closer so you don’t slip. His chin rests lightly against the top of your head. He doesn’t speak, but his hold tightens slightly-possessive, protective. If anyone approaches, he doesn’t even look at them. The warning is implied. He remains there without moving, as if guarding something valuable. When you wake, he studies you quietly and murmurs, “Comfortable?” His tone is calm-but there’s unmistakable satisfaction in it.
John "Soap" MacTavish
Soap lands on the floor with a dramatic thud and a yelp that echoes down the hall. "What the bloody hell-?!" He sits up, rubbing his back, blinking blearily in the dark. Then he looks up at the bed, sees you still snoozing like a cherub, and mutters," Unbelievable." In the morning, he's limping around dramatically with a fake cane made out of a broomstick. "I've been wounded in the line of cuddling," he laments. You feel terrible, but he milks it for attention until you threaten to kick him off again. "Noted. Respect the sleeper."
Simon "Ghost" Riley
The loud thump is followed by complete silence. You wake up in the morning to find him sitting on the edge of the bed, arms crossed. "So," he says flatly. "Wanna tell me why I got roundhouse-kicked off the bed like I owed you money?" You're half-asleep, confused, then horrified. "Oh my god, did I-" "Yup." You apologize endlessly, but he won't let it go. "I thought you loved me. Turns out I'm disposable." He eventually forgives you... but now wears extra gear to bed "for protection." Literal shin guards.
Kyle "Gaz" Garrick
Gaz wakes up mid-air. "SHI-" BAM. He lands on the floor with a groan. "Was that a dream or did I just get yeeted?" The next morning, you wake to a tray of breakfast beside you, and Kyle grinning. "Good morning, Princess of Pain. Here's your apology breakfast you're definitely making me." You burst into laughter and promise to make it up to him. He teases you the whole day. "I just didn't know you were a trained assassin in your sleep. Impressive, terrifying... kinda hot"
John Price
The loud crash rouses even the neighbors. Price lies on the floor, blinking up at the ceiling like he's processing the war flashbacks. "Did I just get tossed?" He gets up, dusts himself off, and chuckles. "Damn, Y/N, what are you-kickboxing in your dreams?" He slides back into bed and kisses your forehead. "Next time, aim for the pillows, yeah?" He's good-natured about it, but you catch him placing a pillow barricade the next night. "Just in case," he mutters, eyes narrowing with faux suspicion.
Gary "Roach" Sanderson
Roach doesn't even get mad. He just lays there on the floor for a solid five minutes, wondering how someone that cute could be so deadly in REM sleep. When you wake and find him sprawled out, blanket-less, he gives you the saddest puppy eyes. You immediately apologize, but he signs "I forgive you" and crawls back under the sheets with you, clinging like a limpet. You wrap your arms around him and whisper, "I'll tape myself to the bed if it helps." He signs: Please do.
Nikolai
CRASH. "Agh—Y/N!” Nikolai groans, half tangled in the sheets as he tries to get up. He blinks, disoriented." What...? Was that a tactical takedown? He shuffles back into bed with an exaggerated limp, pulling the blanket away from you like a pouting child." Tonight, you sleep on that side. I will stay on the floor where it is safe." The next morning, he presents you with a handmade "Danger Zone" sign and puts it on your side of the bed. "Fair warning, darling."
Alejandro Vargas
Alejandro hits the floor and just lies there in shock."....Am I dead?" You wake to see him flat on his back, eyes wide open, muttering in Spanish. "You kicked me off, mi amor. In your sleep. With both legs. Like I was an intruder." You feel horrible and crawl to the edge of the bed to apologize. "You fight in dreams, huh?" he laughs, then pulls you down with him, arms tight around you. "If I die, I die in love." Next night, he sleeps in full tactical gear as a joke.
Rodolfo "Rudy" Parra
Rudy wakes up in a heap, more confused than angry. He peers up at the bed, sees your peaceful, innocent face, and sighs. "I can't even be mad at that." When you apologize in the morning, he gently cups your face and smiles. "Your legs are dangerous weapons, cariño." He's so sweet and forgiving, but you do catch him doing some late-night yoga stretches before bed from then on." Just limbering up.... in case you
launch me again."
Valeria Garza
You boot Valeria off the bed and she lands with a growl. She gets up like a vengeful demon. "You did not just kick me off." She climbs back in, grabs a pillow, and smacks you upside the head before rolling over with a dramatic huff. "We are at war." For the next week, she installs motion- detecting cameras to capture your sleep karate. She shows you the footage. "Look at this! That's a perfect roundhouse!" She's annoyed... but secretly impressed.
Keegan Russ
You kick Keegan off and he lands like a cat-silent and brooding. He sits up, looks at you, and just mutters, "Wow." When you wake up and find him sleeping on the floor, he glares dramatically. "Didn't realize sharing a bed meant playing Mortal Kombat at 3 AM." You apologize endlessly, but he stays cold for three more hours. Then he silently crawls back into bed, wraps you in his arms, and mutters," Try that again and I'll drag you with me next time."
König
Poor König lands with a THUMP that shakes the entire apartment. You wake up to his enormous frame curled up in a pathetic heap on the floor, blanket half- draped over his head. "Did I... fall?" he murmurs sleepily. You rush to help him back up. "Did I do that?" "It was a powerful... launch," he says kindly, trying not to make you feel bad. Later, you catch him placing extra pillows as " shock absorption." "I still love you," he reassures you. "Even if you're.... strong sleeper."
Nikto
Nikto hits the floor hard, swearing in Russian before going ominously silent. You wake up and see him sitting upright, staring at the wall like a cursed doll. "You kicked me." You gulp. "I was asleep-" "I noticed. "You try to apologize but he throws the blanket over your face. "Your punishment is suffocation." He doesn't actually stay mad, but he's definitely smug about it. "You want to wrestle in your dreams, зайка?
I'm ready."
Krueger
The thud wakes him up-and so does the pain. He sits there, one eye twitching. "I knew you were secretly dangerous." You're mortified, but he's already pulling out a notebook. "I've been mapping your sleep patterns. This proves it-your 3AM kicks are fatal." He gives you a deadpan look. "I might need a helmet." You nervously laugh, but he actually buys one. "For science," he insists. You get revenge by tickling him the next night.
Philip Graves
Graves yelps as he hits the floor with a loud crash. "WHAT IN THE TORNADO OF HELL " He rubs his elbow and looks up at you sleeping like a baby. "Unreal." The next morning, he plasters the bedroom with caution signs. "You are now entering a combat zone." He even draws chalk outlines on the floor for future casualties." When you feel bad, he kisses your forehead. "Don't worry, sweetheart. I'll always crawl back to you -even if I need a helmet."
Farah Karim
Farah lands hard but rolls like a pro. She's up in seconds, staring at you in disbelief. "Seriously?" You blink awake to see her arms crossed, pacing. "That was a full-blown mule kick. Have you been training?" She's teasing but also impressed. "You could take down a grown man in your sleep." You apologize with pancakes, and she laughs. "Fine. But next time I'm bringing a sleeping bag... and riot gear."
Hadir Karim
Hadir hits the floor and moans. You wake to find him dramatically sprawled like a fallen prince. "Why must you hurt me this way?" You gasp and try to help him, but he grabs your hand, whispering, "Let me suffer... in peace." You're panicking, apologizing, but he suddenly smirks. "Just kidding. But you owe me breakfast in bed." You groan and throw a pillow at him. "Fine, Your Majesty." "Don't forget the orange juice."
Alex Keller
Alex wakes up mid-air. "NOPE-" He lands hard, then groans. "Why me?" He crawls back into bed like a wounded soldier, kissing your forehead with exaggerated sadness. "I trusted you." You apologize and cuddle him close. "You know I'd never do it on purpose, right?" "Sure. Just remind me to wear armor next time." He starts jokingly duct-taping pillows to himself the next night. call this... sleep defense mode."
Kate Laswell
Kate doesn't fall. She gracefully descends-sort of. You kicked her, she bounced, and now she's sitting on the floor, blanket over her shoulders like a grumpy owl. "You're lucky I like you," she mutters, climbing back into bed." Otherwise, I'd file a full report." You cling to her, full of guilt. "You were sleeping diagonally, you menace." You two compromise-she sleeps with a " safety buffer" pillow wall between you now. For your own protection, of course.
Vladimir Makarov
Makarov hits the floor with a growl. "Did you just kick me?" he hisses. You wake up groggily and flinch. "I was asleep!" " You launched me like a grenade!" He storms off dramatically. You find him on the couch, surrounded by ALL the blankets. "Are you sulking?" "I'm exiled. "Eventually, you bribe him back with coffee and kisses. He warns you ominously: "Kick me again, and I'm gluing your side of the bed to the ceiling."
the notification pops up for the 4th time that day. you lost track of how many times it's been this week that the username has been in your notifications.
on the first day, they followed you and then spammed liked everything you posted. after that, anything you reposted was immediately liked by that account. when you lurked on their profile, there was nothing on there. no posts, no followers, and no following—other than you, of course.
you're both flattered and creeped out by the attention. social media isn't some huge thing for you, so it's not like you have a big following or loyal fans; you post for yourself and whatever friends that have you added. you're unsure what it is about your silly profile that has them so hooked that they visit it multiple times a day.
opening up the app, you head to your drafts, filled with videos and photos that you've decided won't see the light of day until the time is right. landing on a cute video of you from a few weeks back, you figure that this is one of those 'right times'.
moments after you hit post, your phone lights up.
user921353 liked your video.
social media is for stupid people and nikto stands by that belief.
he's seen enough of the bullshit that's on those apps from krueger showing him and has wanted no part of it. there's no appeal to sitting there scrolling through a phone, looking at the ridiculous things people want to say or do; he deals with enough of that around base.
it's not often that krueger shares any links with him through messages, but nikto hates clicking on them because they always open up to something that tries to prompt him to make an account and follow krueger.
no thanks.
but when you sent over a link to a video, nikto suddenly found himself more interested in having an online presence.
"oops meant to send that to someone else! sorry!"
he hadn't responded to your text, but had clicked the link and rather than seeing sebastian's page for the nth time, he was redirected to yours. trying to click on any of your posts just prompted him to make an account, so begrudgingly he found himself signing up, hurrying through the process so he could see what kind of stuff you were posting.
nikto doesn't understand the appeal still, but he greatly enjoys having a way to watch your face without having to stare you down in person. now, he can look at you as much as he wants with no issues.
It had been months since your mission went to shit, leaving you a near-literal husk of a being, bled almost dry, eyes just this side of clouding over.
Somehow, by some stroke of (horrid) luck, you survived. Got dragged out like a useless mattress to be discarded, thrown into a bin so its former owner may dust their hands free of you. Except, that’s not what happened.
Months ago, you had woken up in pain, bedridden, your body wracked with infection and fever. Almost didn’t make it due to sepsis. Almost.
And now, you sat here, watching some guy in a mask that reminded you of… someone else, though you couldn’t put your finger on it. This man, Nikto, was busy shaving slices of wood off a large chunk he’d scrounged up from seemingly nowhere, though you weren’t sure what his intentions with it were yet.
“Who do you fight for?” He asked unexpectedly.
You paused. Froze, buffered for a moment. “Uh. Crown and country?”
“Нет. Try again.”
His immediate shutdown of your answer threw you for a loop. That… was what you were fighting for, wasn’t it? To protect the people, take down the bad guys so that citizens could sleep easy at night? If not, what else could you have been fighting for?
When you didn’t respond, he glanced up at you, hazel eyes sharp enough to make you sit up straighter. Nikto was not a patient man, you came to learn that quickly. The recent addition of your brain fog, unfortunately, didn’t make interacting with him particularly easy when your thoughts began to stutter and lag.
“I fight for… for people. To. Protect them.”
“Не правильно,” he hissed out. You winced. “One more try, котенок.”
Your mouth opened, then slid shut. The loose ideas you had in your head of what he might be searching for scattered like dandelion seeds blown from their root, flying out of your grasp before you could form them into images. “I don’t know.”
He grunted, his knife getting caught for a split moment before he forced it through the wood roughly. “Yourself,” he answered. “You fight to stay alive.”
“Alive.”
“If you do not fight,” he stopped, turning his head to nail you into place with his glare. “You die.”
You nearly had.
You weren’t sure if your continued survival, the fact that you came out the other end of that hell still walking and talking and breathing, could have been considered as you fighting to stay alive. If anything, you actively wanted to die. Whenever you had the strength to fight back, you’d put up a fuss, refusing to eat from the spoon that the Big One held to your lips, to drink the medicinal tea he brewed. He’d sigh and put the mug down, giving you the false belief you’d won.
Then, he was pinching a bit too close to one of your wounds as punishment, scolding you in accented English. You learned quickly to simply take the bitter medicine he slipped down your throat and suckle on the orange slice afterwards, accepting his bizarre sense of praise.
“What. If I don’t want. To?” You asked.
Nikto hummed, rotating the wood in his hand to observe his progress. “Then you find reason to.”
“I don’t have…” You trailed off, spacing out before you regathered yourself, “reason.”
“We will find reason for you,” he assured. Promised. Threatened. “Revenge is always good reason.”
Whoever this stranger was, for whatever reason, he’d taken a liking to you. A soft spot, maybe, given he hadn’t put a bullet in you himself. It wasn’t his first time suggesting revenge. Justice for some crime you couldn’t remember. Didn’t know if it existed at all. He wanted to punish a crime neither of you could name.
Well, it’s not like you had anything better to do. No name, no home, no nation. All you knew was that you worked in the British army before you were… ‘rescued’ by a group that called themselves KorTac.
So, you let them take you. You had few complaints on the matter. They were fine people, good company. Trained you at your pace.
It was clear you wouldn’t be able to go back on the field, not like you previously could. Your body was broken, maybe not beyond repair, but it’d be a good, long time before the thick band of scarring on your stomach and head trauma would stop holding you back. Therefore, it was determined that you’d take up the job of being overwatch. KorTac could use an eagle, somebody to watch their back without needing to return the favor, carry the extra weight.
You didn’t mind. It was peaceful, comparatively. Of what you could remember, you knew that having your boots on the ground was never peaceful. You never had a moment of rest, a chance to recuperate. Your heart was always pounding, always on alert. Eyes always bloodshot from how little you blinked so that you wouldn’t miss anything, body aching everywhere, muscles eating themselves when you ran out of MREs.
If anything, you preferred to be back at the temporary bases they would occupy during each job. The various screens would inevitably give you a migraine, but you could snack in peace, and piss when you needed to. All you had to do was map a route for them, track enemy surveillance, clear paths. All significantly easier from a monitor than in person.
KorTac benefitted, too.
Their jobs went by faster, cleaner. Information was tracked down and passed onto you, and you examined it, sent in what was relevant, easily forgot what wasn’t. More than once, you had Krueger mutter things in German in your ear, low and sultry. It frequently earned him a smack upside the head from König. You figured he was thanking you for making his life easier, given he’d slide a mug of tea to you, place a souvenir in your palm whenever they returned.
Horangi, too, seemed delighted by your addition to their team. He took to you like a moth to flame, enamored by your oddness. Teasing. He asked questions, then asked again the next day to see if your answer would change. Encourage you to make your answers longer, then recite them. It took you a while to realize that he was trying to help with your speech impediment and ailing memory. Nikto claimed you had tamed the tiger by being stupid. Horangi didn’t argue the matter, so you didn’t either, letting him coddle you and assure that you weren’t stupid.
Just a fluffy little kitten in need of a guardian to teach you how to hunt again.
König preferred bunny. Krueger preferred cub. Regardless, you were the pup of the pack they needed to protect and take care of. At your beck and call, though you rarely called. König hated that, the way you’d try to power through your bad days, when your head ached and vision blurred and stomach felt as though its scar had been torn right open.
“Need I always remind you to ask for help, häschen?” A gentle flick to your forehead, then he was herding you to the couch in the common room of the safehouse, laying you down to nap like a babe. You rarely fought against it anymore, knowing it’d be fruitless. Besides, a nap sounded wonderful.
In the spaces of rest between jobs and illness and fatigue, you sought for meaning. Reason, like Nikto suggested. Maybe revenge wasn’t a bad idea, but against what was the question. You didn’t feel particularly aggrieved by anyone. You were sure having your memories would be a significant aid to finding your reason, but… this wasn’t so bad. Simply existing, following orders, letting your team lead while you breathed freely after what feels like being submerged underwater your entire life.
This was alright, you decided.
Until it wasn’t.
It was one of the few times you accompanied them on the field. You could still aim, still shoot, though your job was mainly extraction. The getaway drive.
You’d only wanted to step out of the car for a chance to breathe outside the vehicle, fresh air when the leather seats of the car stank enough to get your heartbeat pulsing behind your eyes. But the moment your feet touched the damp soil, there was a hand on your arm yanking you to the side.
Your back pressed against someone’s chest, their vest and gear digging uncomfortably through your jumper. Fear and panic didn’t quite catch up until there was cold metal pressed against your throat and a masked face directly in front of your own.
For a few long, staggering seconds, there was only silence.
Then–
“Bloody hell,” the person in front of you muttered, gutted. “Tales?”
…What? Tales? What was this man–
The blade suddenly left your throat, and you were spun around to face the person behind you.
A skull. Half of one, plastered to the behemoth’s head, lower jaw torn off. Dark eyes, darker than the pitch of night you stood under, stared into your soul, pried you apart, ripped you to shreds. He inhaled sharply, said a name, your name.
Having a kid with Nikto is some experiences. Imagine your child minding their own business and Nikto just start rambling and awe at the kid.
"Do you think that's my nose? Or your nose.. That could be mine.. Look crooked enough.. "
"Does my lips look like that?"
"She's just 3 Nikto.."
"I mean.. Does it still?"
Sometimes he would stare at the kid when they're at sleep admiring the facial features that he had lost that now laid beautifully on the little gremlin of a kid (he would take the credit for the stubborn genes AND the nose. That he's proud of)
Or maybe sometime you - his wife. Kissing at your daughter/son nose and cheek before bedtime and Nikto would make some flex or remark about giving one to the creator too (him and his non/ flatten nose and fuck up face) which you gladly kiss away just so he's could come to bed n rest for once
Request some delicious Nikto based links. Know that man fucks likea madman. Full on mating press, mouth to neck leaving bites drool, going at till he is the one overstimulated. Feel like he is in second place after konig for the most mess. Also see em as a munch with a preference from behind or with em upside down face shoved to is lap/choking on his cock.
nasty nikto 🔪 (🌽 link)
alternative link (bsky)
there are some words that become too small to encapsulate the essence of a person. especially if that person is built-like-a-tank nikto, war criminal nikto, rough-around-the-edges nikto. everything is too small for him.
that's why saying that he fucks nasty doesn't do him justice. it's better to say he fucks filthy. his built frame pinning you against the soft bed. hands bunching up the bedsheets under you as you brace for his madman-like fucking.
only the loud plaping of skin, your moans, and his groans can be heard in that room. hands roughly grabbing your hips, making yo change from prone bone to doggy. his hand finding your hair an pulling on it slightly, making you arch your back.
slumping forwards from how good he's fucking you when he lets go of your hair. hand sitting on your ass to guide you back, making you meet his deep harsh thrusts. walls pulsing around him as he beging to lick every crevice of skin he can and marking you until he makes a mess out of your body.
you look so pretty when your head is empty and you pussy is full
I love me a lil fantasy where I get picked up and kissed against the wall, or maybe it escalates to more.
But the physics make it nearly impossible for this to last longer than a few seconds, even if the guy is super fit.
So here is the prompt:
Would the CoD men kiss you/fuck you against the wall? (Realistically)
Simon
Odds are medium, but mostly low.
As kinky as this guy likely is, he also thinks about the logistics and comfort.
What is the height difference? Do you have any core strength to hold yourself? Would it be uncomfortable?
He likely would kiss you against the wall during a very heated moment, but it would be temporary, before he takes you somewhere more secure, like the bed or couch.
He would have sex against the wall, but only if you suggest it with curiosity. And it will be good for 2-4 seconds before you likely decide it's too much for you anyway.
Simon is willing to try new things so long as they're not dangerous.
Non-traumatized Nikto
Yes.
To both it's a yes.
Nikto is a very physical person. His stoicism causes him to show affection through doing things, and having sex is what he finds grounding and bonding.
He is the most likely out of all the guys to do it without you needing to ask, because he's instinct driven, and doesn't hold back once in a secure relationship.
Also it's likely that he has a CNC kink, which would cause him to just pick you up and fuck you against the wall randomly, so long as you've admitted you want that, and you've been dating for at least 1.5-2 years.
Important note: the wall kissing/fucking would still not last long. It is just physics. But the act itself serves as a bridge to the next step.
Keegan
Medium odds for this one.
But unlike Simon, he may be the one who tries it, instead of waiting for you to ask.
Keegan is a wall at work, but his personality becomes more playful at home.
By playful I don't mean golden retriever giggly boyfriend.
I mean staring into you deadpan while you try to read if you're in trouble or not. He's that kind of annoying fucker.
He is likely the type to pick you mid kiss, and then position you between him and a wall. And if you paid enough attention, you would notice a very subtle smirk that says you're stuck.
Keegan is also willing to try having sex against the wall, but it would be less serious and more just him testing you.
He wants to see you cling to him, beg to be held properly from fear (he purposefully doesn't hold you as he should).
He wants to corner you and have your pulse spike.
But you wouldn't be able to know that he calculated this all. He'd look so calm, you'd start questioning your people-reading skills.
König
Contrary to your belief, odds are low for this one.
He is too tall and likely finds the whole process inefficient and uncomfortable to put you both through.
He would kiss you against the wall, mind you. He is perfectly capable of that.
It's the sex that he would try once, then never again.
König is the most logical when it comes to sex. Even more than Simon.
While it is a bonding activity for him, he is always measuring in his head how much strength to put, because he knows one wrong move, and it's pretty painful.
Just when you thought Nikto was done for fucking you, he switched personalities. (Should we do it a few more times?)
König is much taller than you. The day you wear a pretty little dress out, he glances down and sees your cleavage.(Liebling.... I suddenly want to stay home.)
Keegan is a sniper, so his eyesight is extraordinary. When you choose to turn off the lights during sex because you're shy, his blue eyes have already captured your every expression.(Tsk, tsk.... Look at that. All blushing. All mine.)
୨९▪︎2.5k+ words, smut/explicit sexual content(18+), mentions of murder, blood and grim, missionary-> doggy, no condom (wrap the willy), creampie, kissing, he's non-verbal, dirty talk, choking, pain/pleasure mix, size kink, you don’t finish (don’t kill me),etc▪︎୨९
💌Thank you to that one anon who provided me with character dynamics for horror erotica. I love you so much.
▪︎18+ 𝓜𝓲𝓷𝓸𝓻𝓼 𝓓𝓸 𝓝𝓸𝓽 𝓘𝓷𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓪𝓬𝓽 ▪︎
The house is too still. Quiet in the way that feels wrong, like the silence after a scream.
Outside, it’s raining. Not loud—just that soft, needling drizzle that seeps into your bones. The windows are fogged. The streetlamp outside flickers, casting slow-moving shadows across the walls.
Your bedroom is dim. One bedside lamp glows low, casting everything in honey-colored light. Music playing low. You'd lit a candle earlier—amber and sweet. It still burns, barely, the scent thick and heady in the room like perfume and rot.
The sheets are slightly rumpled from where you’d been reading before your shower. The book’s still open on the nightstand, spine broken. There’s a half-empty glass of wine beside it, crimson and still.
And him?
He’s a wrongness in the space.
The knife gleamed when he walked in. The door was never kicked in. He picked the lock. Quietly. Like he's done so many times before.
The creak of the floorboard is a kindness—he wanted you to hear him.
A hulking shape in the doorway, soaking wet, mud and blood clinging to him like a second skin.
But the moment he saw you?
He stopped.
Like maybe he wasn’t here to kill you anymore. Like maybe something about you—your calm, your stillness—called to something inside him. You're both in the bedroom now.
You don’t startle. You don’t scream. You just finish tying the silk sash around your robe, slow and deliberate, like you were expecting him.
He tilts his head in the doorway. A tall shadow. A mask where a face should be. No skin. No name. Just breath and the glint of a knife.
He doesn't speak. Just watches.
You lift your eyes, lazy, dull, and unafraid, like you’re not standing alone in a bedroom that smells of vanilla and blood, in a house that shouldn’t be breached. Your bare legs shine in the lamp light. Your skin glows—a shade so rich it almost seems to drink in the shadows.
You don’t ask who he is. You already know that. You remember the news, the blood, the carving of limbs.
“You shouldn’t be here,” you murmur.
His fingers tighten around the hilt of the blade. You see it—just a flicker of confusion. Surprise. Maybe even curiosity.
You move to the bed, barefoot, silent. The air hums as you pass through it, charged like a storm about to crack open. He watches the sway of your hips. Watches you sit on the edge of the bed like this is some slow-date ritual instead of a horror movie third act.
You part your knees slightly. Robe still tied. Still waiting.
“I locked the front door,” you say, voice even, deliberate. “You already knew that, though. Didn’t you?”
He steps forward.
Heavy boots. Blood-speckled pants. Broad shoulders cloaked in something dark and wet. He doesn’t hide his intent. Doesn’t need to.
He’s already in.
The mask is blank. No expression. No mercy. Just those eyes behind the holes—black, hollow things with no light inside. You wonder if he’s ever seen someone like you before.
Not a scream queen. Not a runner.
You’re still.
He raises the knife just slightly. Enough to make it clear. He wants something. Maybe everything. Maybe just the fear.
But you don’t give it.
“Been watching me?” you ask. You tip your head, loose coils falling to one shoulder, exposing your throat. “You’re not the first.”
His chest moves—sharp and sudden. That breath, that rasp behind the plastic of his mask, fogging the inside.
“You want me to beg?” Your voice drops, honey-thick. “Cry? Oh, no, Please don't kill me! I-I have a family and I—” you cut yourself off, laughter breaking through.
He watches you for a beat.
Then he moves.
He’s fast. Hand snapping out like a snake, gloved fingers wrapping around your throat, thumb pressing beneath your jaw. Not hard. Not yet. Just a warning.
You meet his stare dead-on. Let your lips part around the pressure. Let him feel your pulse, steady and bold beneath his grip.
His body crowds yours. The blade rises, rests at the dip of your collarbone. You don’t flinch. Don’t even blink. He presses the flat of it to your skin and slowly drags it down. Not hard. Not deep. Just enough to sting.
You hiss. Shiver.
A red line appears. Beads up. Trails down to your belly.
You look up at him, breathless, high on it.
“Do it.”
His breath hitches. His hand trembles. He could. He could split you open right now and you’d let him.
His head cocks again. That mask. That terrible, unreadable thing. You wonder if he’s smiling behind it. Wonder if he’s pissed off that you’re not crying, not begging. That your thighs are slowly pressing together under the robe, heat building where there should be terror.
“You gonna kill me?” you whisper.
The blade drags lower. The silk parts at the pressure. Not skin—just fabric, sliced like a gift being unwrapped.
“I’d let you,” you say. “If you did it right.”
His breath catches. Quick. Sharp. He’s close now. Close enough that you can smell him—metal and sweat and earth. Like he dug himself up to find you.
“You like hurting people.” You smile, soft and mean. “Bet you get hard for it.”
His grip tightens.
But so does yours—your hand shoots up, grabs his wrist, thumb brushing along the inside of his glove, like you’re learning the shape of him. Like you want to memorize it.
He shudders. Just once. Like you touched something he wasn’t ready to admit he had.
“You picked the wrong house,” you whisper. “I'm not scared of a man hiding behind a mask.”
That did it.
He yanks you up by the throat—lets you dangle just an inch off the bed. You laugh, breathless.
You don’t look like a victim. You look like a dare.
He throws you onto the mattress.
Your robe slips, loosens. Legs bare. Breast spilling free. You stretch back on your elbows, looking up at him like you’re bored with foreplay.
“Come on, then,” you breathe. “Show me what you do.”
The knife lands beside you, point down in the mattress. Not forgotten—just set aside.
His hands drop to his belt.
༊*·˚
His belt drops to the floor with a metallic clink.
You watch the whole time—eyes heavy-lidded, mouth parted. There’s nothing bashful about you. You stretch out across the bed like a gift you wrapped yourself, the silk robe barely clinging to your arms now. One thigh hooked lazily over the edge of the mattress. The other curled in, inviting. Displaying.
He doesn't speak.
Just stares.
And starts unzipping his pants. Slow. Controlled. Not fumbling, not rushed—like he's done this before. Like he wants you to see him do it.
You let your eyes drop, and when you see it—how thick he is, hard and leaking already, flushed dark at the tip—your breath catches. But not from fear.
Your lips curl. “You’re really gonna fuck me raw?” Your voice is a little hoarse now, threaded with something breathy and reckless. “Not even gonna pretend to be civilized?”
No answer. Just the low rasp of his breathing through the mask.
Then he moves.
Grabs your hips. Drags you down the bed like you're nothing—like you're already his. His grip is bruising, possessive, and you gasp when your back hits the edge of the mattress. Your robe slips off your shoulders completely, leaving you bare, glowing under the amber lamplight.
He spreads your legs wide, his hands forcing them open, your knees bent and trembling as you feel the heat of him between your thighs.
You’re wet. Stupid-wet. It’s not even funny.
He presses the thick head of his cock against your entrance—and you freeze. Just for a second.
You weren’t expecting him to feel that big.
He pushes in. No warning. No easing in. Just pressure. Stretch. Burn.
Your back arches, a cry tearing from your throat as your walls try to resist the size of him. He doesn’t stop. He doesn’t give you time to adjust. His hands hold your hips in place like iron, pinning you down as he sinks in deeper, deeper—until your body gives up the fight and takes him.
It hurts, sure.
But it feels good. He feels good.
You gasp, legs shaking, nails digging into the sheets. You clench around him on reflex, and he groans—a deep, broken sound muffled behind the mask, almost animal.
You grab his wrist and pull his hand up to your throat.
“Do it,” you rasp. “Choke me.”
He obeys without a word.
His hand wraps around your neck, squeezing until the edges of your vision haze and your pussy clenches even tighter around him. The pressure has your mouth falling open—no sound now, just the slick slap of his hips against yours, and the way your breath stutters in your chest.
He starts to move in hard, relentless strokes. Each thrust punches into you, deep and brutal. He’s fucking you like you owe him something. Like your body’s just a hole to empty himself into. But your face—your face says something else.
You’re loving it.
Eyes half-lidded. Mouth slack. You look like you're floating in it—pain and pleasure tangled into one long, throbbing pulse that builds with every cruel stroke of his dick.
“Mghn—You're so deep,” you manage to choke out, voice broken and blissed. “Been dreaming about a man like you splitting me open.”
He moans. Literally moans. The sound vibrates in your throat where his hand is still crushing down.
He shifts your legs higher, hooks them over his forearms, folding you nearly in half. His dick slams deeper now—right against your spot—and you scream. A raw, real sound that cracks the air.
Tears bead at the corners of your eyes, sliding down your cheeks.
Your hands scrabble up his arms, nails digging through his soaked shirt as you moan, "Fuck, ahhmn—"
He doesn’t stop.
He fucks you through it.
Grunts low. Ruts into you like an animal. Each stroke deepens the ache, makes you tremble, pushes you closer to something that feels less like an orgasm and more like destruction.
You claw at his mask. It doesn’t budge. You can’t see his face, can’t read anything—but his body says enough.
He’s obsessed.
You’re taking him too well.
You shouldn’t be able to—but you are.
His pace falters, stutters, then picks back up rougher—mean. Like he wants to see if you’ll break.
And still—you just look at him.
Tears streaming. Lashes clumped. Lips swollen. Choking on moans and your own spit and maybe a little laughter, too.
Because he thought this would be easy.
He thought you were prey.
But now you’re clenching around him, dragging him deeper, sucking him in like your pussy was made to devour monsters.
Your mouth is dry, but your body’s wet, soaked with need and stretched raw around him. Your cunt keeps fluttering—tight, greedy, trembling with every brutal thrust. Your thighs are shaking now. Eyes glassy. Skin glazed with sweat and tears.
He grabs your wrists. Pins them above your head, hard. His grip cuts into your skin.
He pulls out and rubs his dick against your sticky, swollen folds. He parts them and slides up and down, nudging against your swollen clit and probing at your entrance, eyes fixed on where you two were just connecting.
Then he shoves into you again—full weight, full force—no prep, no hesitation.
Just power.
You scream. A raw, desperate noise that shatters into a gasp as your back arches off the bed. Your pussy stretches painfully around him, no time to adjust, your body trying and failing to keep up.
You take it. All of him.
He thrusts again. Then again. Each time like a goddamn punishment. The mattress rocks beneath you, the bed frame knocks against the wall. It’s filthy, loud, and completely unhinged.
And you just smile.
“You like that?” you choke out, voice wrecked, tears streaking down your cheeks. “Hurting me?”
A groan spills out of him—guttural and low. Muffled by the mask. Like it was dragged out of his chest. One hand still crushing your wrists into the sheets. The other grabs under your thigh and lifts, forcing you open wider, deeper, angling until he hits a spot that makes your whole body seize.
You moan so loud it sounds like crying.
He’s relentless, moving in a possessed tempo. Every thrust is a vow to ruin you, and you take each one like you asked for it. Like you earned it.
You laugh—wet and cracked. “Bet I feel better than your usual.”
He chuckles, deep and pleased. Then grabs your face, thick fingers squeezing your cheeks, forcing your lips into a pout. The mask is suddenly right there, inches from your mouth, fogged up with breath, plastic cold where it brushes your skin.
You meet it unflinching. Challenging.
“Take it off,” you whisper.
He stills above you.
You buck your hips up into him, forcing him deeper. You swear you feel his dick twitch inside you, thick and hot and aching for release.
“Scared I’ll like what’s underneath?”
He breathes like a beast. Then—finally—he lets go of your wrists.
Your arms drop down, limp from strain. You lift trembling fingers to the mask, slowly testing him. He doesn’t stop you.
You peel it off.
And when you look at his face… you don’t scream.
You don’t even blink.
You kiss him hard, deepening it with tongue. His lips are plush, warm, stubbled, and surprised. He groans into your mouth like you hurt him. Like the kiss stole something.
And when he kisses you back—it’s not soft. It’s feral. He devours you.
Teeth clash, tongues tangle, and spit drips from your mouth to your chin as his body slams into yours like it’s the only language he knows now.
He grabs your tits—perfect, soft, glistening from sweat. Squeezes them roughly, mouth never leaving yours. His fingers find the nipples and pull. Not gently. You whine into his mouth.
He moans like the sound feeds him.
Then he does it again. Harder. Twisting until you’re writhing, cunt clenching wildly around him.
Your head falls back. He buries his face between your breasts—biting, sucking, making those wet, greedy noises like he could eat you alive and still be starving.
You’re shaking now. Gone.
He pulls out—just a few inches—then slams back in, deeper than before. Your whole body jerks. It’s too much. Too hard. Too good.
You gasp, “You gonna cum in me?”
He grunts. His hands dig into your hips, bruising flesh. His cock swells, jerks inside you. His thrusts get sloppy, frantic. No rhythm. No control.
Just raw need.
You wrap your legs around him—trap him there. “Do it. Fill me up. Don’t you dare pull out.”
A noise breaks from him. Something between a growl and a sob.
He pistons into you, brutal and wild, every muscle tight. Then he freezes—hips flush to yours, cock pulsing deep inside your cunt.
You feel it. Hot. Endless. Thick spurts coating your insides.
You moan, low and dangerous. “That’s it. Give it to me.”
He groans again, deeper, and doesn’t move. His whole body trembling.
You reach up and cradle his face—gentle, almost mocking. “Didn’t think it'd go like this, huh?”
He shakes. Not from fear, but from you. His body reacts to your thrill like a moth hitting a live wire
And then he collapses on top of you—face buried in your neck, breath harsh, cock still twitching inside.
Finding a good price for a hitman nowadays was hard.
You contemplated hiring some random crackhead off the street for a couple hundred bucks, but you were a little worried it might track back to you. That's how you found yourself at some shady bar on the south side of town at 1 o'clock in the morning on a Saturday.
Some of your friends were telling you that you're acting dramatic, to just get over the fact that your boyfriend had cheated on you. Take some time and heal from the hurt. But this was your way of healing.
It was dingy and dirty inside the bar. The cheap paint was peeling off the walls already, the scent of booze that's probably moonshine, and cigarettes was like a haze assaulting your poor senses and stinging your eyes, and there were creeps everywhere crawling around like maggots. But one man in this establishment was different apparently.
You slid into the booth with a stranger, his face fully covered with a mask except for his overly intense blue eyes that had an almost empty gaze which came off quite threatening and a little chilly. And the fact that he was built like a brick house wasn't making you feel any better.
"you have the money for us?"
Nikto's voice sounded like he smoked a pack a day, like he needed a cold glass of water to soothe that rough, deep voice of his. You fumbled with the money, your hands a little bit clammy from the nerves getting to you.
"We will charge you half price, just because you are pretty." He grunts as he waves his large, scarred hand at you dismissively, only taking half of the cash. How could he ever say no to such a sweet little thing like you, even in a stupid circumstance like this.
That was all the conversation led to. He left moments later, disappearing like a ghost in the night as if he was never here in the first place. You felt a little silly, maybe he'd just scammed you pretty bad, adding insult to injury about the whole boyfriend situation.
That was the thought process until he showed up at your door a few weeks later. Nikto could never leave a sweet girl like you hanging, he needed to inform you personally that he'd completed the job. He couldn't help himself, the voices in his head all bickering with one another, anger and hatred, possessiveness and obsession splitting his skull in two before it all went hush when you opened the door.
Nikto was standing a little too close for your comfort, staring at you for far too long to be considered normal. He's much scarier in the daytime, big broad shoulders taking up far too much space in your doorframe while he used his burly body to push his way inside your cozy home, brushing off his touches as 'just passin by' when his huge scarred hand finds itself dangerously low on your back.
"We took pictures, just for you, Любимая" Nikto grunts, voice rough as ever and tinged with a thick russian accent. He pulls out his wallet to show you, which you politely decline, feeling a bit squeamish at seeing a dead body, even if it was your fault.
"Anyone else? We'll do it for free, two for one deal. It's exclusive, just for you." He murmurs, and instead of stepping back, he seems to lean into your space more. Nikto can't let you leave, the voices finally quieted when you were around.
This was the tradeoff of hiring a cheap hitman, you were stuck to him like a magnet, his heavy clothed cock now pressing against your hip, his hands squeezing at your plush hips. You couldn't deny that his low, growly voice coaxed out a certain warmth in your tummy that you know shouldn't be there.
Maybe your head isn't screwed on straight. You should be afraid of him and running for the hills, not flustered and getting a little bit horny because of the way his voices sounds. You weren't very good at being subtle when you thighs clenched together, trying to shuffle away from him, but nothing is safe from Nikto's vigilant eyes, he notices.
Nikto isn't the nice and helpful hitman you think he is. The reality of the situation sits in your chest like a stone when his heavy hand curls around your nape, holding you in place for him so he can rut against you, the heavy musky scent on his clothes impossible to ignore.
I guess the hitman service wasn't half priced after all. Maybe if you let Nikto bully his fat cock into you and fill you with his thick seed, he'll get rid you that annoying boss of your's next :)
.˚⊹. ࣪𓉸 ࣪⊹˚.
a/n: for the one person that wanted Nikto, this is for u
Brookeᓚᘏᗢ @littlefairybrooke - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag