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[littlegurlfromtexas]

boy: so u got any fantasies??

me: ok so im 28, financially stable, living in a nice apartment and i dont hate myself and i have a job and also a dog

[lepipehd]

[buddhabrot]

this is actually the best post on the internet i lied every other time i said that

[shakespork]

hey shout out to my lgbt teens who can’t celebrate loudly and proudly because they live in homophobic households

even if youre not out in the streets, even if your support is quiet, you matter, you are important, and you are valid, and i hope you have a fantastically gay day

[niknak79]

[gyravlvnebe]

[animal-factbook]

When being a nanny for ducks, dogs will take on the task of teaching the ducklings how to swim. Their fast reflex and attentive natures allows them to become excellent swim instructors. Their price rates starts at 3 treats per hour.

[obamacare-bear]

You homophobes are gonna be really thirsty now

[the-kid-with-a-backpack]

Eating is going to be hard too:

[bluhuehue]

Food and gay pride what could be better?

[frails-deactivated20200726]

I want a smoke and I want to get drunk and I want to be kissed and I want to feel something

[joshpeck]

i’m so nice

[mood-swings-much]

[staggot]

i think i found a rare pepe?

[staggot]

I’ve been informed that this is a lizard and not a rare pepe

[weedgrandma]

he’s literally a turtle not a lizard

[skellydun]

the seasons change but my black skinny jeans don’t

[thisiselliz]

If we talking I’m low key trying to get u obsessed with me

[shut-your-tits]

This is going viral on Facebook right now. There are jokes being made about it, and it makes me sick. Let me educate you guys, and hopefully save a few turtles in the process:

1. Turtles know where they’re going. DO NOT MOVE THEM IN A DIFFERENT DIRECTION THAN THEY ARE ALREADY HEADING. Some turtles, such as Box Turtles, will actually die if they are moved or deterred from going where they’re going.

2. If the turtle is in danger, such as being in the middle of a busy road, then simply pick it up and move it (in the same direction it was going) until it is in a safe place. That’s it. Don’t take it home, and don’t bring it to a completely new location unless absolutely necessary!

3. While I’m talking about it, there is a proper way to pick up a turtle! DO NOT grab or pick up the turtle by its tail or legs. That can cause extreme pain and permanent harm to the animal! Place one hand on each side of the shell, a little bit behind the front legs, and lift the turtle. Make sure you keep the turtle low to the grown, should it decide to freak out a bit and you drop it.

4. If the turtle is large, it may be a snapping turtle. Those are aggressive and have extremely painful bites! Instead of picking it up, gently move it along with a blunt object until it is safely out of harms way.

5. Turtles swim and enjoy water. They know how to find a water source, they do not need your help. If you see a turtle roaming around next to a pond or lake, don’t pick it up and toss it in the water, it’s likely on land for a reason!

6. Tortoises are NOT water animals in any way, shape, or form! Don’t EVER throw them into any water! While some can swim, most cannot and will drown!

7. How do you tell the difference between a turtle and a tortoise? Here’s a few ways:

-Turtles tend to have webbed feet for swimming, while tortoises have round, stubby feet for walking.

-Turtles have flatter shells; tortoises have large, dome shaped shells that tend to have bumps and ridges on them.

Thank you for taking the time to read this, and if you have any other information that can help to educate people on this topic, please feel free to add it!

[catscoffeeandcynicism]

[tiepoloblues]

since I’m 18 now I had to call the hospital myself to get test results and I was simply planning on saying that I had a blood test last week and if I could get the results back but when the woman answered I said “I want my blood back” and hung up the phone, so I’m never trying that again

[hollywood-noir]