run, boy, run

Rabastan Lestrange, Sixth Year, Slytherin. Yes, I am related to Rodolphus. No, I don't care that you've never heard of me.

[littlelestrange]

wldnmacnair:

The sound of the door opening then promptly slamming behind the person snapped Walden out of his thoughts. Unable to suppress his laughter as could almost see the wave of realization travel through Rabastan’s body. “You know, for some reason I expected more of a reaction, but I guess I’ll settle for stunned silence.”

Rabastan stared, mouth open, trying to process what was going on. But then Walden smiled, laughed, made a stupid smart arse remark, and Rabastan knew that it didn’t matter what had brought Walden back to Hogwarts. What mattered was that Walden was here, and Rab wasn’t going to ask questions right now, because he couldn’t even process them, he couldn’t even form real thoughts, or make reasonable decisions. It was a blank buzz of joy that rose from his stomach to his chest to his head. 

Perhaps this blankness was what propelled Rabastan to surge forward, thow his arms around his best friend, and stay like that for several seconds. Perhaps this was what guided Rabastan’s face away from Walden’s shoulder, towards his own face, and what made Rabastan move his hands from Walden’s back and onto the sides of his face. Perhaps it was what told Rabastan to kiss him, kiss him now, and what drowned out every other voice that had protested against that desire for the past year. Perhaps it was what convinced Rabastan, after staring into those goddamn brown eyes for the time it took to breathe two shaking breaths, to move forward, and press his lips against Walden’s. Yes, that was it. It was Walden and Rabastan and the blank buzz of joy and nothing else, for nearly three seconds. 

And then the real world was there again. The muffler on his senses was turn off and Rabastan leaped back, a look of horror on his face at what he had done.

“I-- don’t know why I did that,” he murmured, and his voice was impossibly small. He exhaled a shuddering sigh. “Fuck.” Now there were even more questions: why did he do that? Why didn’t he stop himself? What would the consequences be? Had he just lost his best friend in one moment of adrenaline? He was so overwhelmed, so jacked up with energy, he couldn’t even see Walden’s face properly. He felt dizzy, and nauseous, and terrified. What would happen next?

[wldnmacnair]

Arriving at Hogwarts a month and a half late, by stumbling through the fire place in Dumbledore’s office felt surreal. Though in all honesty it was surreal. He shouldn’t have been here, he shouldn’t be allowed to carry a wand let alone make his way though the familiar stone corridors. And yet, here he was. It felt like relief in an odd way, even if he was for all intents and purposes a bug under a microscope. The degree of magic he’d used against King made everyone uneasy – even if Rodolphus had gotten people to believe that it had been self-defense. 

It wasn’t until he flopped down onto the cool green sheets of his bed that any of this truly felt real to Walden. He was back, he’d been given a pass from having to join the others for dinner. Afraid it might be too overwhelming, and instead allowed to eat in the kitchens while his classmates finished their last lessons and he was sent on his way to his dorm.

All that was left now was to wait.

@littlelestrange

[littlelestrange]

The past six weeks hadn’t been easy for Rabastan, not only because Hogwarts without Walden was boring as all hell, but because Rab had managed to get himself into more trouble in the last month and a half than he ever had during the five years prior. It was part restlessness, part the desire to remind administration that expelling one student wouldn’t keep things any tamer, and part the knowledge that if he got really out of control, he might get himself expelled. If he had been able to think straight, he would have realized what a poor idea it was to try to get himself expelled, but he wasn’t able to think straight. He wasn’t able to think of much else besides Walden. He barely noticed that the majority of his house now despised him for putting Slytherin so far into the negatives so early in the year, because he spent all of his time either in detention, by himself, or waiting for an owl from Walden.

Really, everything in Rabastan’s revolved around Walden. It had for a while. He had only started noticing it around a year and a half ago, and even more recently had he figured out what it meant, but — especially now — he was past fighting it. The previous year, Rab had seen Walden with girls. Actually, this wasn’t new, but only within the ‘72-’73 school term did he realize how much it bothered him, beyond a “my friends are becoming somewhat sexually active and I am not at that point in my life and that makes me feel bitter/uncomfortable/abnormal” way. That was the way he had tried to pass his discomfort off for about a month, but… well, then he had cried about it, and at that point the fact that he was in love with Walden Macnair was a fact too overwhelming to deny.

Summer happened just as usual, but with a new excitement and purpose — a delusional hope for the prospect of romance. Walden’s every gesture was given meaning through the lens of Rabastan’s infatuation, even though nothing was really any different, besides Rab keeping extra careful that he wasn’t staring into Walden’s eyes too much. But when Walden was expelled, Rabastan had stopped focusing on that and started focusing on how the hell he was going to keep Walden safe. And he had failed, because when September came, he had shot a violent glare in the direction of his brother,  slumped onto the Hogwarts express, and curled up in the corner of an empty compartment.

This evening, after being released from detention, he hadn’t gone to the great hall or to the common room, but instead wandered out to the black lake and attempted to burn the giant squid with lit cigarettes, pretending that it was Robert King or Warren Macnair. Then, he snuck back into the castle (something that had increased in difficulty since Lucius had graduated the summer of the previous year), and walked up to the owlery. He found what looked like the strongest owl (he always sent the strongest owl to the Macnair household in case Warren decided to abuse the owl, too) and attached a note to its leg that read:

After watching the owl take off, he began his adventure back down to the dungeons, but by the time he reached the common room, he felt uneasy. He wasn’t sure why — maybe it was the potential of having to interact with Podmore — but something felt off. He decided to shake off the feeling, and made his way into the dorm, heading towards his bed and hardly registering the presence of the other person in the room before falling face first into the mattress.

But there had been another person.

What?

Rabastan rolled over, sat up, and– yes. Another person.

Walden Macnair.

[littlelestrange]

rodolphusxander;

“Hmm. No way that King attacked first is there?”

“I wish.”

[littlelestrange]

belladruellalestrange;

“He must mope around in corners with you.”

“He does.”

[littlelestrange]

wldnmacnair:

Walden tensed when Rabastan wrapped his arms around him, his instincts telling him to push the other boy away. It had been years, longer than he could remember, since Walden had found human contact comforting. But this was someone who wasn’t out to hurt him, no, it was Rabastan – who was possibly the only person Walden fully trusted. After seconds, that felt like hours, Walden let himself relax into the embrace, his head falling on top of the one on his shoulder. “S’gonna suck without you.”

Rabastan moved his face out of Walden’s shoulder, just so he could mumble a “Yeah.” He wanted to hold on to Walden forever, but he knew he couldn’t do that, so he sighed, let go, and crumpled onto the bed. “I can’t believe I’m going to have to dorm with Podmore, alone.”

[littlelestrange]

belladruellalestrange:

I’d like to meet him. Shake his hand.

“He’s only in our house all the time. More than you’ve been, probably. How is it you’ve never met him?”

[littlelestrange]

wldnmacnair:

Walden pushed himself back up, grabbing the other boy by the shoulders. “No. Go back. I’ll be fine. I doubt I’ll be home often, and I’ll be seventeen soon so I’ll be able to get my own flat. And I know where my grandfather’s wand is, so I won’t be defenseless. Don’t fuck yourself over.”

“Besides, if you dropped out because of this Warren would be the least of my worries. Veronika would skin me alive.”

Rabastan was startled when Walden grabbed him, and he felt his face flush, but he didn’t look away from him. He listened, and after a long pause, sighed, heavily, knowing Walden was right, knowing there was nothing he could do to help, knowing that the most compelling argument Rabastan had for not going back to Hogwarts was ‘I don’t want to because the one person who makes me happy won’t be there so what’s the point.’ So he did the only thing that felt right, which was fall into the boy’s shoulder and wrap his arms around him.

[littlelestrange]

rodolphusxander:

“How’d he get caught?”

“I don’t know. I think he sort of lost it, and then people were pulling him away and he realized what had happened."

[littlelestrange]

belladruellalestrange:

Ah, that was him. Why would he do something so stupid? I mean, I understand his actions, but that wasn’t a good idea. At all. So public.

Rabastan gritted his teeth and shook his head. “If you knew him, you’d understand.”

[littlelestrange]

belladruellalestrange:

…So, what’s wrong with you? You look upset. Of course, it could just be you being yourself.

Which is it?

“My only friend was expelled from school because he fought with an adult mudblood.”

[littlelestrange]

belladruellalestrange:

Hm. Well I never come here. Don’t think I’ve ever been in here, actually. Funny.

Rabastan rubbed his nose. “You’ve been here so long, though.”

[littlelestrange]

rodolphusxander;

“Wait, this bloke had graduated? He should have been able disarm and stun Macnair without effort.”

Rodolphus listened, finally nodding when his brother finished. “He’s told you this, yeah? This isn’t you misinterpreting him picking fights or sommat?” 

Rabastan shook his head. “He’s told me. Sometimes he gets in fights with other people, but he tells me when it’s someone else, too. And his dad is always more violent than anyone else, Walden was covered in blood when he told me what had happened with King -- that’s who he got in trouble with, Robert King.”

[littlelestrange]

wldnmacnair;

Walden froze, before he shifted to face his best friend. “No. You’re going back. You can’t throw out your future because I did.”

“No, I can’t go back to Hogwarts and leave you with Warren and without a wand.” Rabastan shifted, too, sitting up straight, because he was dead serious about this. “Besides, what am I supposed to do at Hogwarts without you, anyway? I sort of despise most of the people there.”

[littlelestrange]

rodolphusxander ;

“Clearly he’s not homicidal, expulsion would have been the least of his worries if he’d actually killed the kid.”

Rodolphus ran a hand through his hair. “Tell me what you know about his dad.”

“That’s another thing, the bloke he was fighting is hardly even a kid. He graduated from Hogwarts this year, he’s two years older than us.”

Rabastan shrugged. “He beats him up all the time. Treats him like a problem even when he hasn’t done anything. Almost killed him when he found out what happened. And his mum abandoned him when he was little, so there’s no one around to stop his dad from doing whatever he wants to him. That’s why he’s around here so much, his dad’s a monster.”

[littlelestrange]

wldnmacnair:

Walden shrugged, and threw an arm over his eyes. “I don’t know. I find a job that doesn’t require a wand. If I can, that is. Avoid Warren at all costs.” End it, maybe. He finished silently. The idea had become more than appealing, getting away from Warren now that he was never going to find a stable job – or at the very least one that could help him afford a place of his own it – a lifetime of suffering, and it could stop. He could stop it. Though this wasn’t the first time the thought had crossed his mind through the years, but every time there had been a little part of him that said to hold on. Only a few more years until he could leave the pain behind – until he’d ruined it. Until he’d thrown the opportunity away. And it all lead back to his father.

Rabastan listened, but didn’t speak for a while after Walden had finished. He just sat, looked at Walden, because Walden wasn’t looking at him, and chewed on the inside of his lip (something he did absentmindedly when he was thinking). After a few moments he spoke again, quietly and perhaps too casually, “Well, I can’t go back either, then.”

[littlelestrange]

rodolphusxander:

Rodolphus nodded. “Unfortunate. You, however, will be on that train even if I have to tie you to it.”

“What’d he do?”

“He got in a fight with a mudblood because his dad abuses him so much that it’s driven him homicidal,” Rabastan spat through clenched teeth. He didn’t want to cry in front of his brother, but it was probably going to happen.

[littlelestrange]

wldnmacnair:

“If you’d have tried, he would have killed you too. All that would have accomplished is making me a very guilty ghost.”

Rabastan sighed, and pulled his knees up to his chest. “What’s going to happen?” he whispered, but he didn’t really want to know the answer, because he knew it wouldn’t be good.