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» indie private st oc loved by socks » tracking: littlelightningbvg

[littlelightningbvg]

» indie private and selective original character for st. (important: muse is a minor)

» rules. || muse and verses. || memes tag.

hey there, and welcome to my blog! this will be run at very low activity. 

muse made, loved, and written by socks (she / her, or they / them).

[poohsources]

🐝  *  ―  𝑩𝑨𝑹𝑩𝑰𝑬 𝑰𝑵 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑵𝑼𝑻𝑪𝑹𝑨𝑪𝑲𝑬𝑹 𝑺𝑬𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑵𝑪𝑬 𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑹𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑺.

❛  you almost had it, [name]. here, let me show you.  ❜ ❛  you’ve just gotta find the courage to try.  ❜ ❛  you can’t tell me what to do!  ❜ ❛  don’t worry, i’ll wait until your party is over before i perform any mischief.  ❜ ❛  some people never change. but we can always hope.  ❜ ❛  you must have felt like a princess.  ❜ ❛  i wish i could have been there.  ❜ ❛  maybe next time you can come with me.  ❜ ❛  not so fearless now, hmm?  ❜ ❛  you’re not going to get away from me this time.  ❜ ❛  it’s dangerous, yes. but not impossible.  ❜ ❛  me? with you? in there? i don’t think so.  ❜ ❛  this is crazy. but, yes.  ❜ ❛  here, let me give you a hand.  ❜ ❛  well, i’m sorry, but you should have been more careful.  ❜ ❛  i wish i could remember but i’m so hungry.  ❜ ❛  that would be a shame, then i couldn’t tell you the juicy bit of gossip i overheard.  ❜ ❛  i didn’t know things had gotten this bad.  ❜ ❛  well, what have we here?  ❜ ❛  well, if you have nothing to hide you won’t mind answering a few questions.  ❜ ❛  i’ve never heard such a ridiculous story!  ❜ ❛  i do believe i’m starting to rub off on you.  ❜ ❛  you want me to babysit a rock?  ❜ ❛  why haven’t you told anyone?  ❜ ❛  perhaps you should remember who’s in charge of this expedition.  ❜ ❛  are you sure you’re alright to travel?  ❜ ❛  that is what you want, isn’t it?  ❜ ❛  i should have never come, what was i thinking?  ❜ ❛  what am i saying? i can’t leave! i’m their only hope!  ❜ ❛  are you sure about this?  ❜ ❛  ah, you’re just in time for your party.  ❜ ❛  there’s more to being king than having a crown.  ❜ ❛  i don’t need their loyalty. i don’t even need them!  ❜ ❛  i am afraid i underestimated you.  ❜ ❛  you and i know you’re much more than that.  ❜ ❛  none of this would have been possible without you, [name].  ❜ ❛  i absolutely despise happy endings!  ❜ ❛  it’s about time you got up.  ❜ ❛  it’s not a story ― it really happened.  ❜ ❛  i’m verry happy to … meet you.  ❜

[littlelightningbvg]

it feels so good to be writing again, even if i didn't do much.

[coinquinatvs]

@Kay:

"Mom - mommy, loo - look, look!" Kay exclaimed excitedly and came over to him. Her hand was cupped and as she approached she ever so carefully lifted it up for him to get a better look.

In her palm crawled a tiny green inchworm, and it lifted it's head for a moment as if searching for the right way to go before continuing on its way. Ever so gently, Kay brought her hand closer to her mom's until they were almost touching and watched as the small critter climbed onto his.

Grinning from ear to ear she peered up at him to see his reaction before asking a question she had now started asking more often. "Do - Do they ha - have bu - bugs like - like this in - in At - Atlantis?" This had become her own way of curiously wondering about her mom's home, and her own way of connecting to it // 🐛❤️🔱🥺.

Immediately, his attentions shifted from the draft of the speech he'd been writing for Arthur - a task he still wasn't quite comfortable with accepting because the people of Atlantis, and other Kingdoms as well, would recognize his penmanship immediately.. because Arthur certainly wasn't a political mastermind, wordsmith or orator in his own right. Along with that recognition would come questions, and questions meant trouble, but.. it had been asked of him regardless. — His attentions shifted from that task and its accompanying freight of stressors, to his daughter's tiny hand, cupped around something.

❝ What's this, little one?? ❞ Thin and green, not too terribly long.. and it moved strangely along her palm. He'd never seen anything quite like it before. He'd certainly never held anything like it either, and the sensation of its tiny legs carrying it onto his own palm was.. odd. Not necessarily unpleasant, just odd. His head tilted ever so slightly, and his eyes narrowed as he watched it move - studying it intently.

❝ Hnmnmn, unfortunately not, ❞ came his quiet, thoughtful hum a few moments later. ❝ We do not have bugs in our Oceans, because there is no way for them to breed and survive. I suppose the closest things Atlantis has to them would be.. barnacles, shrimp, krill, crabs, and lobsters. ❞

[littlelightningbvg]

As soon as the little bug was out of her hand and safely with her mother, she went and retrieved her picture book of insects in preparation to answer his question. Words were still a difficult struggle for her to understand and read, but picture books were helping. Flipping through it, she found the page with caterpillars, and promptly pointed to the tiny green inchworm drawn on it. “Th – that’s wh – what it is!” she exclaimed, almost proudly, though that pride dissipated after a few minutes. “Bu – But I – I don’t… know wha – what it’s… name is.” Again, she felt sheepish for not knowing more facts about it. Judging by the pictures it was associated with though, she might be able to figure it out… “Ma – Maybe… a… a – bug tha – that turns in – into… a butt – butter… fly?” She only knew the word butterfly because her Uncle Arthur had told her about them, and she knew the next page had them drawn on it.

Peering back at the insect on his hand, she felt her heart sink, when he answered her about Atlantis and its lack of insects. Though she did perk up a little when he mentioned creatures that were similar to them. Of course she knew about krill from earlier – she was one of a krillion, and crabs because of The Little Mermaid – her mom was still teased relentlessly by Uncle Arthur that he was Sebastian. But barnacles, shrimp, and lobsters? She didn’t know those. “Wha – What are… the – the other things? Can – can I – I see the – them one day? P… Please?”

[thoughtkick]

“Do not lose hope. Please believe there are a thousand beautiful things waiting for you.”

— Unknown

[coinquinatvs]

@Kay:

"M - Mommy!" Kay shouted gleefully at the sight of him and threw her arms open as she came running.

Running.. that's precisely what he'd been doing, himself - sans a destination. Running; for the sake of keeping himself active and relatively sane. — Arthur had suggested it; he'd said that he was in need of a hobby.. one decidedly less self-destructive than fighting. ( But the fighting wasn't merely a ' hobby '. It hadn't ever been, and would never be. ) He'd been against the idea initially, not wanting to leave Kay alone at home any longer than he absolutely had to, but then Arthur had promised him that Topo would look after her. He trusted Topo.. but that trust hadn't stopped him from worrying.

He'd only just made it back inside. Mere seconds had passed from him closing and locking the door behind himself, to her excited greeting. ❝ Hello, little one, ❞ he replied, his own full lips curving into a soft smile as he knelt down and opened his arms to her - ready to catch her and scoop her up the instant she was close enough.

[littlelightningbvg]

The moment she was in her mom’s arms her smile grew tenfold, and she wrapped her own around his shoulders tightly, burying her head into the crock of his neck. This was everything she looked forward to the second he was home. It didn’t matter how long he was gone for, it always felt like an eternity, and some days, especially after what happened in the alley, she feared he wouldn’t come back even though he always did. “I – I miss – missed you soooooo – ooo sooooo much!” she exclaimed, voice muffled slightly as she spoke against his neck. Do you think he knew just how much she missed, and loved him? That was a question she hoped to fulfill for him daily, because she never wanted him to go a day without knowing this or thinking otherwise. Even the bugs she came across had to know too, because it was really important.

Pulling back, she beamed at him, “I – I miss – missed you as – as much as I – I love yo – you, mommy! And I – I love y – you more!” It might not have made the most logical sense, but right now she didn’t care, still swept up and overjoyed he was back. “I – I fo – found new – new bugs wi – with Top – Topo today! And… and I – I fell…” She scrunched her face a little uncomfortably, and pointed to the small raised bump and purple Band-Aid on her forehead. “I – I’m o – okay.” She could already hear the sounds of Topo talking to her mom, and she looked over at him quickly, then back at Orm. “It – It wa – was my – my fault.”

[littlelightningbvg]

Assigning a Celestial Entity

Tagged by: @reverdies Tagging: @coinquinatvs and you!

Your Result: star.

like stars, you are effervescent and indefinable. stars somehow feel simultaneously within your grasp but infinitely far. people devotedly pour all their hopes and dreams out to you, spill their secrets, and bare their souls for the unique, special joy of gaining your favor. you are a special person to be around. being with you is like flying—weightless and exciting. you are sympathetic and can’t help trying to help everyone even when you’ve already got enough on your plate. you try to make everyone else’s dreams come true at the same time as yours. you are warm—not in an outwardly radiating way but at your very core. in your thoughts, and intentions, and desires. like stars, you can be fickle, shifting according to the season and twinkling like you might wink out of existence at any moment. however, you make up for it in your extraordinary qualities—stars guide sailors to new lands, remind us to keep dreaming, and give us a reason to keep looking up. you are a beautiful and extraordinary person. even if people don't quite understand you, they admire and appreciate you. you inspire them to keep dreaming. you sometimes miss what once was and have a hard time letting go. you find nostalgia simultaneously comforting and heartbreaking. yet you still manage to move forward. you also have a hard time seeing the value of your own innate brightness, yet still, think highly of yourself and what you have to offer the world. you somehow never manage to lose your spirit. you are the light that never goes out, against all the odds. you are the essence of art, creation, and beauty. the lightness of laughter. the shaky peace following a good cry. you are simultaneously cold-tempered with a warm core. you are beautiful and beloved and faithfully enduring.

remember to take care of yourself the same way you do others. don’t burn out on us, we need you around <3

[thehauntingsource]

If she comes back…you come find us,okay? Yeah,and we’ll scare her away.

[quotemadness]

You must go on adventures to find out where you belong.

Sue Fitzmaurice

[coinquinatvs]

@Kay:

★

I like you / I hate you / I dislike you / I love you / You are family / I would take a bullet for you / I would shoot you / I would lie to your face / I would say something cruel to you on purpose / I would say something cruel to you accidentally  / I would cheat on you / I would physically hurt you / You annoy me / You amuse me / I’d laugh at you / I’d laugh with you / I’d manipulate you / You scare me / You confuse me / I wish I knew you better / I trust you / I don’t trust you / You inspire me / I consider you an equal / You are beneath me / You’re better than me / I would trust you with my life / I think you’re mean / I think you’re petty / I think you’re childish / I think you’re smart / I think you’re stupid / I think you’re a bad person / I think you’re a good person / I’m not sure what kind of person you are / I wish you would listen to me / I want to make you proud / I wish you would notice me / I want to impress you / I would hurt other people for you / I’m not sure how to make you happy / I’m a bad influence on you / You deserve better than me / We make a great team / I’d have a one night stand with you / I’d have a relationship with you / I would marry you / I fantasize about our life together / I would trust you with my most treasured belonging / I would tell you my darkest secrets / You disgust me / You intimidate me / I hope I intimidate you / I’d hug you / I’d let you hug me  / I’m scared of losing you / I don’t think you like me / I want to be better for you / I respect you / I don’t respect you / You’re my mentor / You’re my friend / You’re my best friend / I have a crush on you / I could easily watch you die / I’d get drunk with you / I’d party with you / I’d comfort you / I’d prank you / I’d spike your drink / I’d act behind your back / I’d abandon you / I’d hurt you to get what I want / I would choose my happiness over yours / I would choose your happiness over mine / I despise how much I care for you / I need you / I’m dependent on you / I don’t know what I’d do without you / I’m scared of you leaving me / I’d give my life for you / You frustrate me / I’d call for you in a time of need / I would protect you / I’d visit you in hospital / I’d carry you if you were hurt / I’d feel guilty if I hurt you / I’d let you be near me when I am vulnerable / I’d ignore a phone call from you / I’d call you at 3am / I’d break you out of jail / I’d get angry at you / I would shout at you / You’re too loud / You’re too quiet / You’re too sensitive / You can’t take a joke / You embarrass me / I feel nothing for you / You’re reckless / You’re bossy / You bore me / I would ask your advice / I would blame you for something I did / I would cry in your arms / You have the power to hurt me more than anyone else

[coinquinatvs]

" — Uhhh.. " Shit; he kept forgetting that she didn't understand so very much.. just like her mother. " He's super strict, and boring. " He left it at that, lifting his massive shoulders in a loose shrug, then slid his hands into his pockets. " Of course! He needs a break from Atlantean business. Nahh, he's in the living room.. maybe pouting a little because Orm's not here too. "

[littlelightningbvg]

“Oh…” Well, she’d have to ask her mom why he was strict, even though she didn’t know what it really meant either. However, she didn’t think he was that boring, only sometimes when Uncle Arthur made it clear that he was. “He – He’s not… boring all – all the ti – time. But I – I guess tha – that means… he’s a – a bummer.” At least that was her understanding of what that word meant. Kay felt a pang of empathy for Topo, knowing just how he felt when it came to missing her mom. Starting for the door of the room, she glanced back up and at Arthur, “Do – do you thin – think he – he might want to play a – a game wit - with us?” She’d only recently been introduced to games like tag and hide and go seek, and didn’t know much more than that, but had been so happy to at least learn and play a few.

[littlelightningbvg]

@coinquinatvs sent:

[ Arthur~ ] " Your Mom's a major bummer, " he grumbled, then reached out to ruffle her hair. " Anyway, you wanna meet Topo before he slinks off to hang out in the bathtub?? "

“Wh – What d - does bum – bummer me – mean? And… wh – why is he – he one?” Although she was really disappointed her mom wasn’t there with them, having him around always managed to brighten her days. However, Kay did giggle as her hair was ruffled by Arthur, and an eager smile spread as he asked about going to see Topo. "Yes - yes! Ca - can we? Is... is he ver - very far fro - from here?"

[turtlesandfireflies]

"Firefly" by Elizabeth Madox Roberts, illustrated by Eric Carle from the book Animals Animals

Reblog to let prev know their presence is wanted

[coinquinatvs]

How could he possibly explain that, yes, being pregnant had hurt him.. but she hadn't? She was certainly much too young to grasp the differences between the bodies of men and women, in general.. let alone what made his different. And pregnancy itself, even under the best of circumstances, was fraught with agony - none of which could be helped. — And even if he could find a way to make her understand any of that, even in the simplest of terms, given what little she already knew of the situation he'd been in whilst pregnant with her.. would she believe him? He doubted it. He doubted it because she was already thoroughly convinced, somehow, that his suffering had been her fault.

A heavy, audibly uneven sigh spilled from his faintly parted lips in a heated rush as her sob echoed in his ears, reverberating painfully in his skull. That hurt him more than any physical, mental or emotional pain he'd endured before.. and ever would again. ❝ — There is immense cruelty in this world, little one, ❞ he murmured a few moments later, reaching out to take her face into his hands with the utmost care and lifting his thumbs to dry her tears. ❝ There are people like that.. people that enjoy causing others pain simply because they can. ❞

❝ They lied to you. They lied; they knew who and where I was all along. ❞ All of the paperwork Arthur and their mother had shown him said as much. ❝ — But know this, Kay. You were never unwanted, not for so much as a split-second. ❞ Alone? Unfortunately, she had indeed been alone.. because he hadn't been there with her. Due to circumstances beyond his control, yes, but still. ❝ As long as I am alive, you will never have to feel that way again. Even if something happens to me and I am not conscious or able to function normally.. I will still be with you. ❞

[littlelightningbvg]

It physically pained her to learn just how deeply she’d been lied to, and mislead, for her entire life. It seemed like everything she’d been taught, about herself, and otherwise, had either been wrong or an outright lie. Adults did lie. The suffering she’d endured during her time at the lab might not have been all her fault like she’d been lead to believe, though she was aware of the suffering she had caused others. Mainly those she’d killed by her uncontrollable powers. All she’d ever wanted, and even believed in, was that someone out there could care for her, or be her friend, as much as she knew she would care about them. Early on that belief had been ground out of her, as she was told quite frequently, just how alone she really was. But now to find out that wasn’t true? That she had a mother. A mom that wanted her just as much as she wanted him… That the tiny flame of hope she watched dwindle down to nothing could have continued to exist, and maybe she would have held herself together instead of crumbling under the people at the lab and their watchful eyes. Of course she’d had her little lightning bug friend, and that had been the only thing that kept her going during her time there. “Wh – Why!” Kay moaned, and began to wail as she registered his words regarding cruelty, and felt her heart breaking. Why would anybody choose to be cruel, to hurt others? Nobody should hurt anybody! She hadn’t even noticed that he’d taken her face in his hands until her eyes opened, and she saw his thumb move out of the corner of them. For a moment she wanted to pull away, fearful of hurting him, but her hands were tucked in her shirt, out of harm’s way, and Kay couldn’t fight off the comfort she felt from this actions. Something she’d long desired for years. Many times all she’d ever wanted was just to be held, and soothed, be told she could do better, and all she’d gotten was an empty cell and a door slammed in her face. She’d had dreams of someone holding her, an unrecognizable face that peered down at her and rocked her gently in their arms, that person telling her how much they cared for her. Eventually the dreams stopped, and that face she’d tried to reconstruct in her mind became lost to lies and dishonesties. No one wanted her, no one cared… but that hadn’t really been true.

Sniffling, she peered up at her mother while he told her everything she’d ever wanted to hear, even things she didn’t want to hear. No way would she let anything happen to him, not again. She would always be wanted, and always had been wanted, and she’d never be alone again. Without even another thought, she pulled her hands out and pushed off from the bed and into his arms. As soon as she landed in his lap, she retracted her hands quickly and put them back into her shirt, just in case she lost control and hurt him. “I – I – I don – don’t wan – want somethi – ing to happ – happen to you!” Kay sobbed loudly, and then broke down, her head resting into his chest as she cried.

[coinquinatvs]

He could still see the stone cavern that had been his prison cell. He could feel the sheets of scalding sweat sliding down his skin, and the unpleasant texture of the blanket he'd been given to lay on. The look of disgust on the guard's faces as they'd stripped him bare after his water had broken, only to step back and leave him lying there - watching him suffer through the hours of contractions without offering him even so much as a drop of water.

He remembered everything, but nothing so vividly as the sight of her lying motionless in his arms. So small and terrifyingly pale.. He'd had nothing to give for her sake save his body, and he'd thought he'd surrendered it often enough to have saved her - to have ensured she would be healthier.. but he'd been wrong.

The confusion written with such agonizing clarity on her face, that ever-present fear and those unshed tears in her eyes.. all of that was infinitely more painful than his past and present suffering combined. Lurking beneath all of this was the knowledge that, had he not been lied to, had she not been taken from him with such cruel intentions in mind.. he would have had to give her up anyway. She would have surely died if she'd stayed with him in that prison. — And who could he have given her to to be raised by in his stead? Her father? Orm still had no idea who he was, and knew only that he wouldn't want the man that had assaulted him to have her. Would Arthur have taken her if he'd known? Would their mother?

❝ —— ❞ How? How could she possibly think that she had done anything wrong in any of this? ❝ No, ❞ he replied quietly and without taking any time to really think about his answer. ❝ You were the only thing that kept me alive while you were here, ❞ again, he pressed firmly against his stomach for emphasis' sake, ignoring the bruising and wounds that he shouldn't have been putting any pressure on. ❝ — You should not have to be hearing these things. You should not have to bear the burden of this knowledge.. and I wish you didn't have to. There is nothing I wouldn't give to be able to.. go back and change it all - to go back and fix it. But I cannot. ❞ He sighed heavily, then bowed his head and closed his eyes, squeezing their lids shut as tightly as he could bear. ❝ I know that I have failed you miserably thusfar, but.. it will not happen again. I promise. ❞

[littlelightningbvg]

“No,” he replied quietly. She hadn’t hurt him? Really? Somehow it felt hard to believe considering…

”Bu - ” The word didn’t even get a chance to fully form before he cut her off and continued. Her finger was still resting against his hand that was pressed to his stomach, and she felt it move to push firmer into it while he spoke. The thought of having been once in there made her feel lightheaded with more confusion, but it was a question for another day. Right now, she focused back on what he was saying, his words carrying with it a weight that made her heart feel heavy. She wished they both could go back and make things right, maybe if she… if she hadn’t been so weak or sick at the time… Could she have done something to help them both? Obviously that was not how it really worked after having just been born, but Kay didn’t know the wiser. Her blues eyes shimmered with more unshed tears as she watched his own ones shut, and his next words made her breath hitch. More than anything in her life she knew what it was like to fail, and even after everything she’d heard it didn’t sound like he had. At least he hadn’t failed her. “NO!” she sobbed piercingly, and immediately pulled her hand away from being near him. Her hand disappeared quickly out of sight under her shirt, though the glow of her powers were visible through it. “THEY – THEY sa – said I – I ha – had n – no one! I – I wasn’t – I was… I wasn’t wan – wanted! I – I wa – was alone! I… I was alo – alone - ” Her face scrunched as tears began to fall freely, and she bent over herself where she sat, body shaking fiercely. How she wished she could speak clearly, how she wished she could get the rest of it all out so he could know how much he hadn’t failed her, even if he hadn’t always been there. Taking deep ragged breaths, she shook her head, forcing herself to say it as best she could, “YOU wa – wan – wanted me. THEY…” a pained whimper, followed by a deep breath as she sobbed though her voice lowered as if the people at the lab could hear her, “th – they… fa – failed m – me. Y – You… fo – foun – found… m – me, m – mom - mommy.” A name she’d only heard Arthur say when talking to his son about Mera, and when she’d asked, he’d explained. It sounded funny as a word, and she liked it, but not having a known mommy – before now – she’d never used it, until just this moment. Her head lifted just slightly, eyes bloodshot and face red with tear streaks, shoulders shaking as a fresh wave of tears began to overcome her, and she started sobbing again.

[mournfulroses]

Anne Sexton, from a letter featured in Anne Sexton; A Self-Portrait In Letters