I’m done. The words had left his lips so easily, and for a moment while he felt them hang in the air between them, he wasn’t sure that he meant them. Of course he hadn’t meant them. This was just another fight, they’d had them before, what couple hadn’t? She’d yell, he’d get angry, but they’d always work it out. He couldn’t actually mean they were done.
Because this was Kira. This was the girl who he had known his whole life, though he may not have paid attention until recently. The girl who had changed everything, who’d rejected his advances, who’d made him chase her like he’d never chased anyone. She was the one who’d jumped in front of him in a street fight, who hadn’t been scared off when he’d tried to make her hate him, who’d never sunk to his level. Even better, she’d been so diligent about raising him to hers. She’d waited for him to come back from boarding school, she’d waited for him to get his act together and figure out his feelings, and she’d even inspired him to patch things up with his brother, something he wasn’t sure he’d have been able to do otherwise. For the last three years she’d been the unflinching light in his life, and she’d forgiven him for every stupid word that had come out of his mouth. So this would be no different.
Except that it was. After speaking, he’d glanced away, staring into the dark, not wanting to have to watch her reaction. Anger still burned through his blood in a way alcohol could never match, but that didn’t mean he wanted to witness his words sinking in. It wasn’t until she spoke, her voice a dangerously weighted calm, that he turned back towards her. The questions she pinned him with had value; after all that they’d been through together, she did deserve a more eloquent break up than just two words. But somehow, he just wasn’t in the mood for the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ speech. Instead he stood, stony faced and still, hiding from her any emotion that was tearing through him; anger fueled his words and actions but that didn’t mean there weren’t parts of him desperately trying to throw up the emergency breaks. It just mean that they didn’t win.
As she stepped closer to him, he looked down at her, watching the way she kept herself composed; all but her little tells. With their faces this close he could have easily leaned in and kissed her, and part of him told him to. Kiss her. End this. But he couldn’t. The ball had been set rolling and there was nothing he could do—or would do—to stop it. “Yeah I guess so,” was the only thing he gave her in return. She was right, he was a coward. Take your anger, take your ball and go home.
The look on her face hurt him but he took that and buried it away with the rest of him. He wasn’t going to take it back. The words hung in the air between them and he let them, turning on his heel; turning his back on her, on them. The doorway into the house blared music that seemed out of place compared to the absolute stillness of his head but he stepped through it anyway, losing himself in the crowd, and leaving her alone on the darkened lawn.
He had kissed her scars. Literally. After what Lyon’s had done, bile had filled her throat every time she glanced at her body in the mirror with a deep seeded dread that it would make her unlovable. Then the boy who loved no one and nothing had silently admitted what he felt against them and she was certain they’d never ache again. They were aching now. Their bandage was being ripped away before they’d fully healed over. She was not blind, if there was someone in this world that came close to understanding Charles Price, it was Kira and vice versa. She could see the hesitation in his eyes, as if he wondered if he’d truly said it. She wanted to give him a moment to take it back, but her teeth had already snapped at his throat the moment she called him a coward. She knew it was the nail in their coffin. Charles wasn’t going to fight for her. She’d be an idiot to think that he would.
‘Yeah, I guess so.’ Four words that killed her to hear. Her hands balled into fists as she smothered the urge to shove him. He could take what he wanted from her, but not that. She wouldn’t lay a hand on him. The silence that lingered was deafening, staring at one another as if it were some sort of game of love chicken, be the first to give in and win a prize! The prize was the possibility of not losing the other, but the risk was the other walking away and not even having your dignity to fall back on. “I should have listened.” She uttered quietly as he turned from her, clearly satisfied with his final words. “You were the biggest mistake I have ever made.” He didn’t turn back to her, his feet just kept moving to the door as she tried to remind herself how to take a steady breath.
There was a thud of a door and just like that she was alone on the dark lawn and if she was being honest, she had forgotten how sinister the dark could feel. Kira was used to feeling very little, it was how she survived all she had survived, but right now it was a flood gate that had been released and she was sure whether all or nothing was more painful. She wondered if Charles had found his way back to the doe eyed bitch yet- she cut the thought short as the images of him leading her up stairs and burying two years worth of memories in some other girl. Fumbling for her phone, she called the person she knew would ask no questions; Trevor Mutt. Before his cocky voice could even fill her ears, she cut in. “I need you to come get me.”
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