little lost lantern

i write sometimes ✨ my blog quite quickly became about supernatural

[littlelostlantern]

a drag path but actually imagining the entire song to be Neil's POV of getting kidnapped and leaving behind his sad duffle bag to show Andrew that he didn't choose to leave and, can you find me?

[littlelostlantern]

rewatching supernatural to, you know, get into the fall spirit.

was watching 2x20 (What Is and What Should Never Be), and the way Dean is already questioning his fate so early on in the show, the kind of unfair lifestyle that John gave them - it is nothing less than torture considering the doomed narrative of the final season. especially when he outright questions, in the middle of a breakdown at his father's grave, whether he deserves to be happy.

and in the final second, right before the ep ends, Sam tries to convince Dean that whatever fantasy world the jinn may have presented, this life is worth all of the sacrifice. and when Dean stays quiet and simply stares back, i swear it's like he's asking, "Is it?"

[retrobell]

[littlelostlantern]

My Liberation Notes, Son Suk Ku, 2022.

[littlelostlantern]

[littlelostlantern]

just some thoughts while reading tgr because really who is jeremy knox :///

[littlelostlantern]

painted something cute after the longest time ever also can I be him??????

[littlelostlantern]

two books and it constantly feels like jeremy is holding back his real self. we do see glimpses of the real him, more so in tgr, and mostly because others hint at all that's fked up in his life but he is SO GOOD at pretending that every thing is fine that it took some time to realise what an unreliable narrator he is - especially when it comes to the parts where he has to be home and how easily he let's it slide as if it's nothing. his stepfather literally calls him a "little faggot" and jeremy's lack of reaction gave me goosebumps.

i equally dread and look forward to when he'll finally let loose and we'll get the full picture of how messed up this sweet man's life really is.

[aftgst]

The all for the game books are wild because you spend like an entire weekend doing nothing but reading them to the point where you forget where you are and you go through everything from abuse to pet adoption from like 300 pages that costed a dollar.

[littlelostlantern]

Not Jean buying blue clothes because Jeremy thought it was a good color or Jean's favourite color being brown because it's "brown like the gaze that sought Jean out in every room" :((((

[protectingstucky]

oh i know the foxes are fighting for their mf lives right now at the dorms with andrew quitting smoking and neil not being able to play… thoughts and prayers those bitches are being INSUFFERABLE

[littlelostlantern]

AHAHHAHAHA YEAHHHH

[littlelostlantern]

I was so uncharacteristically depressed yesterday that it alarmed not only me but became noticeable to everyone at home. In my mind I knew my period was coming soon (it started today) but I didn't know that I could get this sad. And every time an emotion wrenches itself out of me - cruel and unfamiliar - before or during my bleeding, my mind goes back to how our professor said that there was no psychological cause therefore no proof of periods fucking up your emotions unless it's irritation from the pain itself.

[littlelostlantern]

The Sunshine Court

[littlelostlantern]

TSC SPOILERS!!!!

Jean Moreau 🥺 because I can't get over this book, I'm looking to do a little experiment. I'm thinking of painting little scenes that stuck out to me. This, right here, I felt Jean was more vulnerable than he wanted to be. And it was just the start of the book :(

[littlelostlantern]

this is gonna sound like a stupid, stupid question but how do we pronounce jean moreau's name correctly????

[kevindavidday]

'remember that next time you think you aren't worth saving' does neil know how many lives he's changed

[littlelostlantern]

ffs he made me think in a way I wasn't ready for

[littlelostlantern]

there's something really fucking powerful about watching Jean watch Andrew run across the court to save Neil. Idk it just moved me.