So if Caine and Kinger finally have a father-son relationship… does that mean Kinger calls him by his first name, all three middle names, and last name when he’s about to unleash the full force of his parental wrath
It is sad that Caine probably would never know it was never Kinger's intention to delete him.. and Bubble being there in the recycle bin with him would only go so well
Some Bubble=Abel stuff I started drawing before Episode 9 came out. Back when I thought Bubble would be the blue one. Guess I have to call this an AU now..?
…Or maybe this is just an excuse to draw Bubble with nothing more than eight arms, because while Caine made himself a human-like avatar to seem more approachable to the humans, Bubble doesn’t care about such trivial things. If he needs hands, there will only be hands. Why waste data making a useless body
my favorite flavor of steddie is like, eddie who is on the cusp of unhealthily obsessed with steve like if you angle it a certain way it would be Toxic™ but it's like a true and sweet enough love that it just falls short like he's not controlling and manipulative and he can do his own thing without steve but his brain is just STEVE STEVE STEVE in the background the whole time. and then you have steve who is looking at eddie like he's the coolest thing in the world, and LOVES eddie, but like in such a lovely mundane way like he daydreams about holding eddie's hand and cooking him breakfast and picking out curtains and planning a fall wedding for them kind of love.
just steve who deserves to be someone's first choice no matter what and eddie who deserves someone who looks at him like he's a regular person who deserves a normal life and chooses every single day to love eddie no matter what
Modern AU where Corroded Coffin does get famous - just not in a way they were expecting.
They try through high school, play some local spots, post their songs online, but they don't really get a lot of traffic. And they think, maybe this isn't going to work.
Until one day, when they post a cover of a pop song, a la Punk Goes Pop, and it does well. Really well.
So they start doing more covers.
Is there a part of their steadily growing fan base that loves their originals and racks up the play counts on the one album they've put out? Of course.
And they never stop sharing their original stuff, but it never gets the kind of engagement that the covers do - and they kind of resign themselves to the fact that, this is what they do now, might as well have fun with it.
Steve Harrington is a popstar who's been on the scene for a little while now, and he loves CC's covers. He never really cared for metal before - overstimulation and audio processing are a wicked duo - but because he knows these songs, he's able to actually appreciate the music, the way the band morphs them into their own style.
He keeps finding himself wishing that they would cover one of his songs.
And then he learns about their original stuff. He listens to the one album on repeat and loves it, loves the lyrics and the composition of the music, and decides that he's going to do the cover for once.
(He's definitely not trying to catch the attention of the hot as fuck lead guitarist, no siree! This is just a nice, normal cover.)
Cue Eddie Munson having a heart attack when his notifications are flooded with links to Steve Harrington - popstar dreamboat and Eddie's absolute guilty pleasure, the man whose music he only listens to at the dead of night when he's guaranteed to never be caught - covering one of Eddie's songs.
Steve always liked to watch girls' faces as he got the right angle, pushed in slow, and filled them when they were relaxed and welcoming.
Loved seeing that pleasure on their face, surprised it could feel so good.
He never realised that he was also envious.
Envious of their pleasure, of the way they breathed the words, full and good and deep in his ear. A small part of himself, that he had never examined, wanted to know, what it would be like to be that overwhelmed by pleasure.
To be full.
Steve Harrington's life was full sure. Full of stuff. Full of things.
Yet he'd never actually felt full. It was never enough. No matter the presents his parents bought him. No matter the alcohol he drank. No matter the friends he collected.
Nothing ever made him feel full.
Sometimes he got close. When his heart swelled two sizes larger around Nancy. Or when Dustin and Robin fell into his life.
His chest tight. His heart full.
But there was still something missing.
Something he craved. Something deeper.
Then Eddie Munson has stomped into his life, one bottle and one demon at a time.
This man so full of life, bursting at the seams with it.
Steve found himself yearning to touch, to see if he could siphon some off for himself. To see if he could find out why or how.
Yearn turned to touch and touch turned intimate and Steve felt that little part of him, the one that was envious of all those girls, start to claw out.
Every graze against his body was like a flame licking at his skin. Burning a path, filling his heart, feeding his soul.
The yearning crows loudly now, screaming almost, a howl in his chest. More he wants. More he needs.
When Eddie asks, shakily, hands trembling where they grip at Steve's neck, shoulders, body, "How… Do you want to… Which way do you…"
Steve knows.
"Fill me, Eddie," he says, half a demand, half a need. The monster in his chest is braying to be free and he needs it so badly that he almost wants to flip Eddie over and take it for himself.
Steve has never been more sure. Never been more desperate for something in his life.
This feeling, this fullness. He wants it. And he wants it from Eddie. The man so full of life it overflows.
"Please Eddie, please please please, I need you," he tries, he begs.
Eddie cups his face, full in his hands, rings pressed against Steve's cheeks, "Shhhh baby, okay, I've got you. okay,"
Steve wants to cry, he doesn't know why, he just knows he feels so much he wants to explode.
Doesn't stop shaking until Eddie's fingers are sliding along his cheeks. They're slick with Vaseline, warm with Eddie's heat, but lacking the rings. Steve doesn't even know when he did that. So focused on writhing against him, trying to get him inside.
He's slick, wet between his skin, fingers catch against a place no one except Eddie has ever been and Steve exhales as Eddie's finger presses inside.
"Oh."
Eddie's breath is hot against Steve's cheek, but Steve's too focused on that finger, wiggling its way inside him.
"Oh Sweetheart, do you like that?"
Steve can't speak, doesn't know what to say, it's a weird sensation but he likes it. He loves it. He wants more, Eddie's finger is delicious inside him, invading his body.
"More please," he asks, breathless, demands gone, Steve is soft.
Eddie pressed his face against Steve's, groaning. "Sure, course baby, shit you're so sweet like this."
Steve's not sure he's ever been sweet. No one's ever called him that. Nice. Handsome. Pretty even. But not sweet. It makes him melt.
"Please Eddie," he whispers. Eddie is close enough for it to be loud. The finger leaves him, makes him whine, but is quickly replaced with two fingers, massaging little circles against his rim. The delicious pleasure a tease.
"I've got you, Stevie, just relax,"
And Steve does, exhales again as Eddie slides two shaky fingers inside him, wincing only when a bit of nail catches, but it's soon soothed over by the fact that Steve is that little bit fuller.
He's getting filled.
That's what he wants.
He pants, puffs of breath leaving his lips as he adjusts to the feeling of two solid fingers inside him. Eddie pumps them, slowly, like he's feeling around Steve, like he's touching him inside and the thought alone makes Steve shudder in delight.
Fingers twist and squish against his insides and Steve…
He loves it. He loves it so much the sounds leave his mouth unbidden. They're pornographic, high and reedy in a way he's heard from the girls in the porn Tommy watches. He never thought he'd make those sounds.
"Eddie Eddie Eddie Eddie,"
"Yeah, god, fuck, you should see yourself baby, you really like that don't you, like my fingers inside you, are you sure you've never done this before?"
Steve cries out, "Noooo," pathetic and whiny but he doesn't want Eddie to think that.
"No? Oh no? Your first time taking fingers and you love it, guess you're just built for this Stevie, built to take my fingers huh," Eddie teases, fingers now gliding smoothly in and out of Steve, a steady fucking pressure.
"Yeah. Fuck. Yeah, Eddie, only you. Made for you,"
Eddie growls, Steve's pretty sure it's the most animal he's heard Eddie including the time he wrestled Gareth for the last cookie. "Oh sweetheart, sweeeetheart. You can't just say that, can I… Can I Steve? May I enter?"
Steve wails. It's all he wants.
Eddie's fingers leave with a schlop sound, and he tugs Steve down by the hips. Steve goes, unable to move his limbs, and just lets Eddie manoeuvre him, pushing and pulling and moving and flipping his legs over his elbows.
Eddie looks down at him, then down at his hole, then back at Steve.
"Fuck I love you," he says, just as the head of his cock presses against Steve's rim.
"What?" Steve gasps out.
The head pops in and there's ringing in Steve's ears. He can't see, doesn't see, he's gone blind. There is a cock in him. All he can feel is the thrumming in his hole.
Eddie's cock is in him. It feeds in slowly, Eddie steady as he pushes. Every inch is slick with vaseline, and every inch makes Steve full.
This is what he wanted.
Love love love love
Full full full full
His ears are ringing and Eddie is panting and his head, his heart and body are filled with love. He is full.
And Steve cums.
He cums and cums and cums and he still feels full.
"Look, Steve, I don't have any bad feelings towards you," Eddie says, has been saying, talking nonsense, like he and Steve weren't anything more than fuckbuddies, like he isn't breaking Steve's heart. "I used you too, y'know?"
It's then Steve rears back like he been slapped. Or punched. It feels more like a gutting. Joke's on him, he supposes. Once again, he wants more than the other person. He wanted a boyfriend, Eddie'd wanted sex. Why does he keep trying? When Steve finds his voice to speak, it comes out flat and dead and not really like a question at all. "Used me. Like you think I've used you?"
Eddie shrugs, looking for all the world like he's not bothered by that statement. "We had fun, right? So it's all fine in the end."
"Fine," Steve repeats, hollow. They're in his house but Steve feels the need to leave, to run before the reality of how unlovable he truly is sticks inside him forever.
"But I think we should stop while we're ahead," Eddie continues and Steve wonders if Eddie is listening to him at all, or just saying his piece before he goes. Can he not hear Steve's heart breaking? "I want to... I want to find someone to love."
If Eddie's previous words felt like being gutted, these ones feel like cement. Heavy and solidifying. Trapping in the truth of Ever Unlovable Steve. He doesn't even feel heartbroken anymore. Just numb. Dead inside. He should say something encouraging. Let Eddie know that all he's wanted was for Eddie to be happy and loved. But words seem impossible, so he gives one jerky nod of his head. An understanding.
"Right," Eddie says, returning the nod before turning away, towards the door, "I'll just go now. Umm, see ya later, Harrington."
Facing the horrors of the Upside Down should feel like the scariest thing he's ever done but it doesn't. Watching Eddie walk away does. Steve should be able to hold it together long enough for Eddie to leave. He's the tough one. He can hold himself together no problem-
"Why can't you love me?"
Eddie whips back around, an expression on his face like confusion and anger mixed.
It's only then that Steve realizes he spoke. He hasn't meant to. He was going to let Eddie walk away but now his voice has been freed from the cement. His heart has shut down his brain it seems because he just keeps talking, voice flat and hollow, "why can't you love me the way I love you? What is so broken and wrong within me that no one loves me back? My parents, Nancy, now you. Why can't- I thought that we were- where did I go wrong?"
"What?" Eddie asks, and the anger is gone from his face but now he just looks horrified. Which is understandable. It's horrifying to be loved by Steve Harrington. "What did you think we were?"
Boyfriends. Together. Going steady. At the very least, dating without labels. But none of those very reasonable, normal answers come out of Steve's treacherous mouth. Because Steve can't seem to be a reasonable, normal person. He's got to be too much, too soon, too clingy. So, instead, he says, "In love."
Eddie looks like he's just received the worst news of his life. In fact, he looks a little sick. "Oh fuck. Jesus Christ. I can't- I thought- Fuck!"
Steve just nods along. He hadn't actually said I love you to Nancy that night at Tina's Halloween party, but he imagines if he had, the beginning of the bullshit conversation would have sounded much the same as Eddie does now; like anger and regret, the starts and stops. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have- if you want to go, you should go."
Eddie crosses the room back to Steve in half the steps he took when he first walked away, hands reaching to grab Steve's face between them. He speaks quickly and sounds panicked now. "No, no no no. I fucked up, misunderstood. I don't know how I got it so wrong. I don't want to go. I never did."
"What?"
"I am in love with you, sweetheart. I just- I didn't know you loved me back. I thought you didn't- that we weren't..."
"I thought we were boyfriends."
"Jesus, please let me fix this. Let me stay and make it up to you. I'll be the best fucking boyfriend you've ever had."
Steve thinks if he had any shred of self-worth he might step back, make Eddie explain himself, but as it is, he steps into Eddie's space and kisses him, hands pulling him as close as he can get. He doesn't want to think about the cruel things Eddie's said, about using each other. Maybe one day they'll have to hash that out, have that conversation, but Eddie says he loves him too, and that's all Steve's wanted.
AU where the first time Steve and Eddie have sex, Steve says that Eddie was ‘so much nicer than the other guys’ and Eddie silently freaks out bc
1.) Steve has been with other guys??? That means this wasn’t some kind of experiment???
And
2.) Eddie cannot stress enough that the way he was treating Steve was the bare fucking minimum bc he didn’t want to let on how much he really cared about him, who the fuck are these other assholes that apparently set the bar so goddamn low????
Steve and Eddie start dating and he kinda thinks Robin is going to shovel talk him but instead she’s like, “You need to start making an effort to corrupt him.”
“What?”
His parents fucked him up so bad,” She says. “So you need to start picking apart his internal controls, okay? Start - raising out the conditioning.”
She runs her hands through her hair, “I’ve been working on it since Starcourt but it’s really slow going. If there’s two of us…”
Eddie doesn't... okay it isn't that he doesn't believe her, right? Its just that she'd talked about 'deconditioning' with such fervor that Eddie couldnt help but dismiss it a little as Robin's typical flair for the dramatic. It was just one emphatic hand wave and declaration of 'a lifetime of deprivation' too many perhaps. Either way, Eddie would felt the worry slip away until slowly, too slowly he would later admit, red flag became bullhorns.
When they're cooking together, Eddie goes to grab something from the shelves in the Harrington's pantry but he can't find it for all the boxes and jars and cans. He rolls his eyes and scoffs but when he shifts one of the boxes, it's much lighter than he expects. Inspecting the contents he finds a lone packet of maple sugar oatmeal. Another box holds only two granola bars. Another is just a single scoop of cereal at the bottom of a tightly rolled bag. More and more and more, he finds. What looked like 'plenty' moments before is anything but.
"Dude, what is this?" Eddie huffs and almost-laugh and Steve smiles back sheepishly.
"Just dont wanna run out I guess. Never know when a craving will strike." The other young man shrugs and goes back to flipping the chicken he's shifting around the pan on the hob.
Then he sees it in other places - this hoarding of resources. Dollar bills are tucked purposefully into coat pockets. Bags of popcorn after a night at the drive in are rolled down and tucked into the door of Steve's car. The packet of peanuts Max didn't finish is twisted and slotted into his glovebox. Unopened bottles of Tylenol sit, innocuous and unassuming, behind picture frames.
"Don't wanna be wasteful." Steve says when Eddie asks.
"Mirgraines are a bitch." Steve shrugs even when Eddie doesn't ask at all, just picks up a bottle and rattling it upon it's discovery.
The Harrington house is riddled with the treasure caches of a boy who does not know when he will eat next or when the things he needs to function will be withheld.
So much of it could be passed off as frugality that Eddie does just that. If he let himself, he could paint a grim picture but thats just so hard to do when Steve smiles and the world gets too bright for hungry boys to stay hungry for long. He ignores the warnings until he just can't.
A night of heated kisses and tumbling into bed leads to a morning waking up next to an expanse of golden, freckled skin beneath his palm that makes Eddie smile before he even opens his eyes. Hegets up quietly. Visions of jammy toast and coffee in bed next to the most beautiful man in the world drive him into the shower. After, Eddie goes to snag a spare pair of underwear and his hand dives into the drawer, plastic crinkling under his fingers. He giggles and lifts whatever it is, anticipating condoms but finding beef jerky instead.
"You found my stash." Steve huffs where he sits up in bed a few feet away.
"What?" Eddie asks, at a loss for anything else to say. When Steve just yawns and stretches, he presses. "Why do you need a stash?"
Steve just snorts and gives him a look like Eddie has asked a very silly question. "In case I get locked in, obviously." He scoffs and moves towards the bathroom to take his own shower.
A cold sensation, like Eddie swallowed a slightly too large ice cube, slides down his chest and settles in his gut. "Oh right." He mutters just to say something but his mind is already moving a mile a minute on all the ways he might help fix this but first -
Gen | wc 812 | @strangerthingskinktober day 26: virginity
Steve Harrington is a virgin.
He really is.
Nobody believes it though. Especially not after Allison Beecher bragged about how good he was in bed after the Halloween party of ‘82. How he took his time with her and made sure she enjoyed it. She bragged about orgasming twice.
Steve kissed her.
He only kissed her.
They went upstairs to a bedroom, he kissed her and he ran. It was too much, too fast.
But rumors spread fast.
Allison’s words spread like wildfire.
Then it was Michelle. He took her on a date to the Hawk for a movie. She said he fingered her in the back of the theater.
Then Shawna, who said their dinner date ended with a wild night.
Then Claire, who swore up and down that Steve fucked her twice in a row.
So when it came to Nancy, the word was already spread about how great he was in bed.
So when Carol teased Nancy in front of everyone in home room about the King Steve treatment, Nancy stumbled on her words — not wanting to be the center of attention.
Steve only kissed her.
But Nancy’s stuttering was enough to show she was flustered about losing her virginity to him.
The rumors were like wildfire.
Any time Steve tried to deny it. Deny every rumor, every girl, his friends laughed it off.
“Don’t worry, Harrington, you can’t be a slut. You’re not a girl.”
“You’re funny, Steve! We know you fucked her. You can tell us.”
So the rumors kept spreading. After the summer of ‘85, Steve swore off of dating. The more he dated, the more rumors spread. If he didn’t date anyone, then the rumors die off, right?
Except they kept alive.
When Steve and Eddie started to date, Eddie thought he knew what he was getting into.
Being wined and dined by Steve meant being fucked at the end of the night.
Their first official date was at the drive in outside of Bloomington.
Steve barely touched Eddie that night. An arm around his shoulder. Their hands intertwined over the console. A hand on Eddie’s knee while Steve drove.
A simple kiss good night.
He only kissed him.
Eddie was left on his door step, slightly confused.
The Corroded Coffin guys teased Eddie the next day. Asked if he was sore after being treated by King Steve. Or if he was the one who left King Steve with a limp.
Eddie wasn’t sure what to say.
The guys laughed, teasing Eddie that he was fucked speechless. That the rumors were true.
A few more dates happen. Steve took Eddie stargazing with a picnic basket and beers. A trip to Indy. Steve cooked dinner for Eddie.
But the furthest Eddie got with Steve was a heavy makeout session.
“What gives?” Eddie asked, dropping his fork, abandoning the spaghetti. “Why won’t you sleep with me?”
Steve nearly choked on his beer. “What?”
“You sleep with everyone else you dated,” Eddie frowned. “Why won’t you sleep me?”
“Eddie —“
“Is it because I’m a guy?” Eddie snapped. “Does sex make it too real for you? That if you finally fuck me, you have to accept that you’re a f—“
“I’m a virgin!” Steve yelped, like it hurt him. Eddie’s mouth snapped shut, eyes wide. Steve didn’t — he couldn’t be? Steve took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. “I’ve never — I’m a virgin.”
Oh.
Eddie slumped back in his chair. Did he … have more experience than Steve? All of those girls — even Nancy — lied about sleeping with Steve.
“Is that — I’m sorry,” Steve said, breaking the silence. “You were expecting — something I’m not. I can’t — I’ve never —“ Steve pinched the bridge of his nose. “Is that a deal breaker?”
“What?” Eddie blinked, knocked out of his stupor. “A deal breaker?”
“Do you want to break up?” Steve asked, his voice small. “Because I’m not — who you thought I was?”
“No!” Eddie snapped. “No! That’s the last thing I want! I’d never want that.”
Eddie continued, nearly leaping out of his chair to kneel down next to Steve.
“Steve, I don’t care about that. I don’t care if you never want to have sex. I really like being around you. I like dating you.”
Steve snorted. “I like dating you, too. And for the record —“ he leaned in close, pressing his lips against Eddie’s ear. “I never said that I didn’t want sex.”
Eddie leaned back, eyes wide. “Do you —?”
“Upstairs?” Steve asked.
Eddie nodded, standing up so quickly, he felt a little dizzy. “Upstairs.”
Eddie took Steve’s hands, pulling him up from the table. Steve laughed.
Eddie caught Steve’s lips in a kiss.
“By the way,” Eddie murmured. “I’m gonna make sure you get the King Steve treatment. The one I’ve been hearing about for years.”
Note: I haven't watched season 5 yet so it's not spoilers, I just thought this would be a fun idea.
Jonathan sees Steve as a rival from the moment he meets him. Nancy introduces him as a close friend and mentions with a little laugh that they used to date, but that didn't work out. Immediately, Jonathan's day is ruined.
Steve is gorgeous and funny in a goofy, charming way and he's so attentive and Will's friend Dustin is always talking about how cool he is. It's infuriating. Jonathan doesn't get it. Why would Nancy choose Jonathan over the rich pretty boy who's good with kids? It doesn't sit right with him, there has to be something wrong with this picture.
He doesn't like the way Steve holds doors open for Nancy and pulls chairs out for her and the little fond smile she gets when she mentions him in passing.
At some point everything seems to click into place and Jonathan is convinced Steve is trying to win Nancy back.
He starts being more than a little standoffish with Steve, trying to turn everything into a way to one up him. What's even more annoying is that Steve just seems to think they have a fun back and forth going on, he never takes things the way Jonathan means them. He even tries to make conversation with Jonathan and be friends with him. It's all a ploy to get Jonathan to let his guard down, he's sure it is.
Then one day he walks into the Wheelers' place to pick Nancy up for a date and when he passes by the basement door he has to do a double take. There, at the foot of the stairs is Steve, and he's very up close and personal with another man. A man with long curly hair, draped in leather, ripped denim and chains, basically the opposite of Steve's soft plain sweater and designer jeans combo.
Steve laughs at something the guy says in a way that lights up his whole face and shoves him away in a light, teasing manner. The other man responds by swaying back into Steve's space even closer than before. Steve smiles fondly and reaches up to tuck a lock of hair behind the man's ear. Jonathan turns and books it to the kitchen where everyone else is gathered, feeling like he shouldn't be watching whatever that was.
He slides up next to Will's little group of friends as inconspicuously as possible and clears his throat. "So, uh, who's that guy with Steve?"
The boys tilt their heads at him curiously.
"The one with all the hair and ripped jeans and stuff?" He clarifies.
"Oh," Will says, realisation dawning on his face "That's Eddie Munson. The guy I was telling you about who runs our D&D campaigns. I thought you'd met him already."
"No," Jonathan replies. "I assumed the person you were talking about was a new friend you'd made in your grade."
Mike snorts. "If he repeats senior year enough times we might end up in the same grade."
"Hey!" Dustin slaps him on the arm. "You know how sensitive he gets about that. He's trying really hard this year, and now he has Steve to help him."
"To make out with him more like," Lucas mumbles.
Jonathan freezes, a mild sense of dread creeping over him. "What was that?"
"You'll see soon enough."
As if on cue, Steve and Eddie stumble into the kitchen clumsily. Steve is trying to walk normally, but Eddie's arms are around his waist and his chin is hooked over Steve's shoulder.
"Oh my god, let me walk, dickhead." Steve complains, but he's making no attempts to dislodge the man and he looks happier than Jonathan has ever seen him. "Babe, If I trip you'll be going down with me."
Babe???
"Oh no," Eddie says sarcastically. "Sprawled on the kitchen floor on top of the prettiest guy in Hawkins. Whatever shall I do, sweetheart?"
Sweetheart????
Even after Steve has found a spot within their group, Eddie still clings to him as if he refuses to let him go.
Steve doesn't brush him off, in fact if anything he only encourages the man to hold him tighter by sliding his hands down over the skin of Eddie's forearms and holding his hands in position where they sit on his waist.
"Oh, hey! Jonathan! I didn't see you there." Steve suddenly pipes up when he notices him. "Have you met my boyfriend, Eddie?"
"Oh shit," Eddie says, recognition dawning on his face. "You're the guy Steve's been telling me all about. It's really nice to meet you."
Oh fuck.
Oh shit.
Steve's had a boyfriend this whole time.
"I am so so sorry," he says to Steve.
"Huh?" Steve frowns. "For what?"
"Dude. I've been an asshole to you." Jonathan explains. "I thought you were trying to make a move on Nancy!"
Eddie bursts out laughing. "Oh man. Jonathan, you do not have to worry about that. Steve has been telling me this whole time how fun you are to hang out with. We've been planning to invite you to a board game night."
"I thought we had, like, banter," Steve pouts. "Like a friendly rivalry thing, you know?"
"Stevie, honey, baby," Eddie says sweetly. "Not every guy who challenges you is looking for a jock style brodown."
"But I was having fun."
"Fun?" Jonathan questions. "Steve I was being mean to you."
The look Steve gives him is practically dripping with sass. "That's what you call mean?"
It takes Jonathan a while to reboot and recover. His jaw is practically on the floor.
Eddie grins manically. "You have got to hang out with us some time. I love when people can bring out Steve's bitchy side."
Mike suddenly cuts into the conversation. Reminding them them that there are in fact other people in the room.
"So were we gonna go with a pizza or Chinese food? Because I would like to eat some time this century."
Eddie's not even sure how it started. The argument. The fight. They're fighting and he has no idea how they got here.
It's not like they've never done it before, but normally he can trace back the steps, see the exact moment Eddie snapped something a little too harshly or Steve pushed something a little too far.
Today, it was like one second they were fine and the next Steve is accusing him of not caring and Eddie's defensive streak is throwing that right back at him.
"Sometimes it doesn't feel like you want a relationship; just an audience."
"Yeah, well, sometimes it feels like all you want is a relationship and that it doesn't even matter if it's with me!"
There's a heavy pause as they stare at each other; Steve's posture defeated and Eddie's defensive.
"So why are we even—"
"That's not true." Steve's tone is soft but Eddie allows himself to be cut off.
He's pretty sure he was about to proffer a breakup, or at least turn the conversation - argument - in that direction, so he lets himself be interrupted.
It's not what he wants. He knows it's not what he wants. But sometimes his default is give-up-before-they-do. The Munson Special. But just because it's his instinct doesn't mean it's what he actually wants.
Sometimes he feels like a stray dog Steve found on the side of the road; desperate for affection and clinging overwhelmingly to its new owner. Like if he holds on tight enough he'll never have to beg for scraps again. Other times he's that same dog turned antisocial. Cruel. Lashing out at the person showing it kindness because it doesn't recognise it. Doesn't think it deserves it.
"That's not true." Steve shakes his head, eyes puppy-dog sad. It's like a blade to Eddie's gut. "I care so much that it's you. About you. I went on, like, hundreds of dates with hundreds of girls," Eddie rolls his eyes a little dramatically at this. Sure, his boyfriend's a catch but he doesn't need to show off about it. Steve continues as if Eddie hadn't reacted at all. "And a few with some guys, too, after, y'know, figuring some stuff out…"
They both know Eddie is the 'some stuff'. Being the reason Steve realised he liked dudes was a pretty good ego-boost usually, but right now he doesn't feel like gloating the way he normally would.
"I had so many chances to start a relationship just 'cause I felt like it, and I didn't! I didn't, but the second I realised you liked me back I was all in. Not because I wanted a relationship. Because I wanted you, Eds."
Steve's always been better at the sappy shit than he is - so infuriatingly earnest sometimes that Eddie feels himself dance away from the feeling it bubbles up inside of him. Street dog verses genuine emotion, he supposes.
Steve's hand twitches forward, like he wants to hold Eddie's but isn't sure if he's allowed. Eddie hates whenever he brings that out in him. The insecurity set in place by absentee parents and rooted in deeper by a cheating girlfriend (look, Eddie loves Nance, he does, but he also kind of hates her too).
Eddie needs to man up. He knows that (though he thinks the phrase itself is gross and Robin would probably smack him for using it).
"I'm sorry." It's a strong start, he's pretty sure. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I don't even believe it, baby, I promise. You're so good at loving me, sometimes I don't know what to do with it."
Steve blinks, looking at first caught off-guard, probably by Eddie's rare show of sincerity, and then sweetly confused.
"You don't… Have to do anything with it, just… I don't know, loving me back would be nice."
Eddie's heart thuds in his chest.
"I do, sweetheart, I love you so much."
"I know. I love you too. I'm sorry for what I said too, that was such a dick—"
"No, no, honestly, I… I know sometimes I can focus too much on my own shit and ignore the things you like. And I sort of… Make you do the same." Steve makes to interrupt and Eddie just knows he's going to deny it. "No, no, I do, I'm always having us watch horror movies, or listen to my music, or I'm talking about what books I like, and my DnD plans, and—"
"I like hearing about stuff you like, I do," Steve insists, so earnest it breaks Eddie's heart a little more.
"I know, baby, I know. But I also know it doesn't leave much space for you to talk sportsball and cars and whatever weird foreign film Rob has you watching any given week. And, like, even when you try sometimes I get all on my soapbox about it - especially your basketball stuff, which is so shit of me because I know how much you love it, and I love how much you love it, it just… I don't know, it's like it's instinct at this point."
There's a moment of silence. It looks like Steve is building up to something, so Eddie waits it out. He's pretty sure he'd wait anything out for Steve.
"It does, um…" Steve pauses, eyes darting from Eddie's shoulder, to the floor to the wall. He twists his hands in front of him, and Eddie knows what it looks like when Steve cracks his chest open to let his vulnerable parts show. "Sometimes, when you cut me off and start talking shit about it all, it just… I don't know. It's dumb and silly but it makes me feel dumb and silly for liking stuff you hate so much. I started bringing stuff up less and I guess instead of helping all that did was bottle it up 'til I took it out on you tonight, so I'm sorry for that."
"Oh, baby," Eddie murmurs, heartbroken that he's done such a thing to someone he loves so much. He reaches his hand out instinctively, bringing it up to press against the back of Steve's neck. He doesn't push him, just lets the gentle pressure be an invitation.
It's accepted.
Steve melts forward into Eddie, head pressing into his shoulder and arms wrapping around his waist. Eddie shifts to envelope Steve in his own arms, bringing one hand up to hold the back of Steve's head.
"I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry I've made you feel that way, sweetheart. You are not dumb or silly or any of those things. I'm just a little bit of an asshole, I think."
Steve lets out a wet little laugh and Eddie grins. The tears aren't great, obviously, but Eddie will always take a laugh as a win.
"I'll do better. I'll try. I don't want you to bottle stuff up around me; especially not the good stuff - the stuff that makes you happy." Steve hums a little into Eddie's collarbone, acknowledging, if not quite agreeing. "Maybe we'll find some great love for basketball deep within me, who knows?"
There's another laugh, less choked this time, and Steve lifts his head. He's so, so beautiful, red-rimmed eyes and all, and Eddie feels just how lucky he is like a flood.
"I love you," he says, the words not feeling big enough.
"I love you too," Steve replies, tension dropping from his shoulders. Eddie's never seen anything so gorgeous in his life, he thinks.
It's probably not the last time Eddie's going to fuck up catastrophically, but he's sure as shit going to try to avoid this particular type of fuck-up in future.
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