Here we go again. I was here before the reckoning and I now return once again, god it's been a long time.
NSFW warning first up: a lot of my writing is defo not safe for work, so be warned! Please don't follow/interact if you're below 18 thank ya lovelies.
I write, occasionally draw, and have lots of thoughts that claw to get out. Mainly focused on Steddie at the moment, but I like a lot of ships, so you'll find Ronance, Jargyle, Stonathan, even Wenny (Wayne/Benny) on here aight.
🌸🌸🌸
Mostly stranger things focused at the moment but I've been in a few fandoms including Teen Wolf and MCU/Marvel.
Bluesky: SkitchSkatch <- I'm here the most
AO3: MistyMurks
Twitter: SkitchSkatch
☆Writing tags☆
SFW: #TheeWrites
NSFW: #TheeWritesAfterDark
☆Art tags☆
SFW: #TheeDraws
NSFW: #TheeDrawsDark
☆Hammy tags☆
HammySteve is my brainchild from twitter, where Steve Harrington is a werehamster. I open commissions to draw HammySteve occasionally.
#HammySteve
#HammySteve Au
Feel free to talk to me, I love screaming about ideas.
Little Steve Harrington fell out of a tree and broke his arm. At least that's what his mother tells the doctor with fake tears in her eyes when asked. His arm is bundled up in a cast by the prettiest person he's ever seen.
Nurse Munson.
She smiles at him, she makes jokes, she makes him giggle even though his arm hurts.
She gives him a lolipop and tells him he's a good boy, just like her little Eddie.
Steve goes home, to a cold bed and cold house and a new stern maid to watch him when his parents leave.
Little Steve is back at the clinic with a sprained ankle and a little bruise on his head. Playing rough with his friends his mother says.
"What friends?" Steve says when Nurse Munson asks and he wonders why she's surprised. Steve's never had any friends.
Little Steve hates having to visit the clinic, but he loves seeing Nurse Munson. She's the nicest adult he's ever met. Not that he meets many adults outside of his parents and their friends, who ignore him.
She holds him steady as he shakes from the cramps of his tummy ache.
She brushes his hair back gently as he vomits out the head of a toy soldier that Tommy his new friend had made him swallow.
She looks sad as she spies the bruises on his side when he changes his t-shirt.
Steve is reluctant to leave.
Little Steve who gets a teddy from Nurse Munson the next time, a sweet little plush that fits in his pocket. A teddy that Nurse Munson says he can tell anything to. That if he needs, he can call the number on Teddy.
Little Steve who calls that number that night when there is no food in the house.
Little Steve who calls that number anytime he really really needs to and Nurse Munson, call me Ellie, comes and helps him.
Feeds him.
Plays with him.
Talks to him about her son.
Until one day Ellie doesn't answer.
Little Steve who calls again and again and again until a man screams at him to stop calling she's dead.
and Little Steve never calls again.
Big Steve who sees a curly haired kid in high school, taller than him, loud and crazy and angry and thinks Ellie.
Big Steve who falls in line with the jocks and learns that it's not Ellie.
It's Eddie.
and he remembers.
Nurse Munson's little Eddie.
So he keeps the jocks away from him, steers them clear of the only memory of his Ellie.
Steve who almost doesn't save Eddie, who almost loses the last connection he had to a woman who saved his life.
Steve who cries over Eddie's bed in the hospital because he can't lose another Munson. Can't lose Eddie like he lost Ellie. He feels like he's seven and crying at the phone again.
Adult Steve who tells Eddie Munson, after they've curled together in bed as close as skin will let them, how his mother saved his life when he was small.
Adult Steve who isn't afraid to say he didn't fall off trees, that he didn't play rough with kids that didn't exist. That Ellie Munson saved him.
Eddie who cries, for the violence that Steve had suffered and the memory of his mother.
Eddie who hugs Steve tight, who tells him it'll be okay, it will all be okay and that he will tell Steve about her, his mother.
About Nurse Ellie Munson, the woman who gave him that little patch of sunshine.
Adult Steve who visits her grave with Eddie and tells her, that he is happy now, that he still had Teddy, that he had Eddie too and that he is grateful.
Part 2 of Change
tw: discussion of child abuse
Pairing: Stommy
Steve has a nice room at the back of the bar, one he made so his staff had somewhere safe and comfortable to escape the ruckus if they needed.
He pops open the mini fridge and takes out two beers, non-alcoholic for him; he likes to be alert.
But he needs the familiarity right now, needs to feel normal. Because he doesn't feel normal right now. He feels tugged between two realities.
One where Tommy Hagan would save a gay friend from harassment and another where he'd literally beat the gay out of them.
He's not sure how to reconcile the two images in his head as he sits on the sofa next to Tommy, who's nervously wringing his fingers, squeezing them and then watching the blood flow back, something he used to do before he saw his dad.
Steve remembers.
"So…"
"I'm sorry."
Steve hums, takes a long swig of his 0% beer. After a beat of silence he sighs.
"For?"
Tommys fingers clench around each other. He grabs the beer Steve had passed him and chugs a good mouthful.
"I… I'm sorry for all of it," Tommy says, in a rush.
Steve hums again. All of it is a lot. It's a giant rubber ball of a mess and he's not even sure what all of it means. So he says as much.
Tommy huffs but it seems to be more at himself than Steve.
"I'm sorry man. I'm sorry I was such an angry shit before and I'm sorry that a lot of the time I took it out on you," he says, it's soft almost so soft Steve doesn't catch it. But when he does hear what Tommy's saying it makes his throat catch.
He takes another sip.
"I… You know my dad, right?" Tommy says, his voice wobbling a bit at the dad, and Steve knows. He knows Tommy's dad, a big man, not in size but in imposing presence. Hank Hagan was an army man; you could see it in his eyes in the square of his shoulder.
In the curl of his fist.
He knows how often he's sat back to back with a Tommy who refuses to look at him because his eye is blue.
Yeah. Steve knows.
"I just. I'm not saying it's okay, that what I did, the things that I did," his voice is hard on the I, Steve sees a twitch of his arm.
"But, you know. You saw. You're probably the only person in my life who was around for it and I just… I really hate the way we ended Steve. I hate myself for the way we ended. Because yeah you left me for Nancy fucking Wheeler and I was so fucking angry and mean and I hate it,"
"I can't look at myself, at 17-year-old Tommy and see a good person, not anymore, not with the people I've met, not with the mirrors I've looked into. Fuck man. I was so fucking ugly," Tommy says, his voice quivering a bit.
Steve thinks this is the most Tommy's ever said.
Hagan men didn't do emotion. Hagan men were tough, they were strong and they didn't cry or do 'pansy' shit. They didn't talk with their feelings they talked with fists. And Tommy is right. Steve had been there. He's probably the only person who's seen how Hagan Sr is around Tommy, the threatening scruff of his neck, the big fist tight around his wrist. It was never obvious, not like his dad beat him in front of Steve. But Steve wasn't stupid. Contrary to what his dad thinks.
He knew what it meant when Tommy turned up at his doorstep shaking, face bloodless as he looked at Steve, begging him without words.
Steve remembers letting him in everytime.
Remembers the way that Tommy clung to him, didn't let go of him the whole night, not until morning broke and the sunlight killed vulnerability.
"I just. He hurt me and I hurt people," Tommy's voice cracks through Steve's thoughts. He's wringing that bottle now, squeeze, release, squeeze, release.
Steve puts his own bottle down. Thinks of Robin, her warmth always present in his life, and puts his hand over Tommy's.
He stills under Steve's touch. Quiets like Robins rabbit does under her hand. He doesn't look at Steve.
"I hurt you. I never meant to hurt you, but I hurt you Steve. I did it because my stupid fucking head was so wrapped up in the way my father loved that I just did the same."
Steve feels his breath catch. Something inside him dislodges, shakes free into his body. See Steves dad didn't hit. Wasn't like Tommy's dad.
But Steve wasn't free either. Everything was meant to be pushed down. Feelings, thought, expression. Harrington's suppress.
And Steve had spent years trying to untangle his own heart from his father's tight hold. Spent years pulling things out, laying them out, picking them apart and feeling them for the first time.
This was something he didn't even realise he'd been holding.
Loved, Tommy said.
Loved the same way his father did. Rough and harsh and full of anger.
Loved.
"You loved me?" Steve whispers. The ball in his throat dislodges, floats up and presses right at the top of his throat. It makes his chest feel tight, his voice weak.
Tommy doesn't look at him, but he squeezes Steve's hand.
"I love you Steve, I always have. I just had a fucking shit way of showing it and I am sorry. I am so sorry," he says, voice strained, hands shaking under Steve's. It's warm, pulse still rabbiting, Tommy still nervous.
Anxious.
Steve looks at him again. A Tommy who would say he loves him. A Tommy who's grown into his freckles, hair and fashion sense. Who earnestly holds his hand, apologising for things that happened more than ten years ago.
A Tommy who would stand up for someone in a gay bar.
He looks right into brown eyes, flecks of blue and green in the middle, framed by a constellation of freckles.
Freckles Steve used to dream of, freckles he used to bury.
"Do you wanna get coffee?" He says, lump in his throat a throbbing heartbeat.
Tommy blinks at him, surprised, and then his face drops into a warm smile. Sure Steve's always liked that shark grin of his, but this, this is new, it makes his heart thud.
"Yeah, we can get coffee,"
"Cool, I have to check on my bar. But after?"
Tommy nods, shy.
His hand curls around Steve's gently, holding. Steve's only ever known Tommy's fists, but he finds he likes the feeling of his palms instead.
"Need someone to watch out for weirdos while you manage?" Tommy asks, signature shark grin spreading across his face.
Steve laughs. "Sure lil bodyguard. Go and protect the masses. I'll meet you after okay?"
"Okay,"
Steve squeezes his hand and gets up. He takes the empty beer and puts a fresh one in Tommy's hand, fingers brushing. They both catch breath and Steve heads for the door.
"I love you too Tommy, always have," he says, quietly at the door "I forgive you."
Then he's out into the crowd. Heart pounding in his chest.
No one knows that Steve wears glasses, he rarely uses them, his parents shelled out for him to have contact lenses, no matter how much he hated using them.
The last time people had seen Steve Harrington with glasses was when he was still a kid.
But with the running around and getting Eddie Munson to his house for safety, his eyes were getting tired. They weren't doing too well after the last two concussions and he was finding the lenses more tiring.
Fuck it, his parents aren't even home, he pushes on his glasses. Steve went back down the stairs to the rest who hadn't moved from his kitchen.
Eddie, leaning against the counter was the first to see him enter. While Steve knew seeing him in glasses was a shock, he was not expecting the full Eddie Munson experience.
"YOU. OH MY GOD. IT WAS YOU. THAT KID, PUFFY HAIR KID!"
Steve's stunned enough he's paused mid step. What the fuck. What kid. He and Eddie have never had a conversation before. Kid? When was the last time he was a…
"Holy shit, oh my god. You. YOU, YOU'RE THE WORM KID."
"What the fuck is going on?" Robin says as she tries to step between them.
Only Steve remembers now, the piles and piles and piles of WORMs that this one kid with buckteeth and so much hair he could barely see his face left for him on everything Steve had.
"YOU GAVE ME FUCKING WORMS. OH my god you traumatised me."
"TRAUMATISED, excuse me, those were GIFTS."
"WHO GIFTS SOMEONE A SHOE FULL OF WORMS."
"I WAS 8 AND STUPID OKAY, YOU DO THAT WHEN YOU HAVE A CRUSH."
Steve blinks.
Blinks again, like Eddie would disappear, an illusion conjured by his tired mind. But no, he's still there, panting, chest heaving and eyes wide with the sudden realisation of his confession.
"Woooow, you said this guy was cool Dustin,"
"Shut up Max."
"What the fuck do you mean crush? Oh my god, Eddie who gives someone a TRUCKLOAD worth of Worms BECAUSE THEY LIKE THEM?"
"I WAS YOUNG AND DUMB OKAY. I liked worms. I thought it was a great idea. I also got into a lot of shit with Wayne 'cause I stole all his bait for you."
"Since when do you wear fucking glasses, Steve?" Dustin cuts in.
Steve sighs. "Nevermind, let's figure this vecna shit out."
They get back to it, only after that Steve and Eddie seem to stand a little closer. "Remembered you were cute in those glasses."
Small thing for @steddie-week
Day 1 Prompt: Secret Relationship
It's not that Eddie was worried. Sure at the beginning of their relationship, when it had still been a budding crush, he'd had this deep-set insecurity but Steve had been nothing but loyal.
Steve had understood, had been kind and Steve had reassured him, that if at any time, if at all possible, he would tell him if he felt anything except the utter soul-crushing love that he felt for Eddie.
He'd told Eddie "I choose you, Eddie, because you choose me."
That had been that. Eddie was happy, even when they argued, even when they'd been shoved into adulthood, upside down scars and all.
Even through every rough tour and all of Steve's long nights getting his nursing degree.
They always came back to each other.
10 years they'd been a secret, fear of the outside world destroying their love and lives more frightening than any upside down monster.
Only their close friends knew, no one outside that, and both Eddie and Steve were usually alright with that. They'd accepted it.
Until tonight.
Tonight's show was in a slightly smaller venue, not tiny by any means, but a tighter crowd. It was going good, the boys and him were in the zone, the crowd was fully engaged, the pyrotechnics were flawless, and Wayne's masterful handwork on the dragon.
Eddie is mid-riff when he sees it.
Since it was a small venue, there's pretty much just a mosh pit and while Eddie would have liked to have Steve backstage, there wasn't really a backstage either.
But it was the first time in a while that Steve had been free enough to join them for a show that he'd come anyway, pretty yellow polo and all, shifting with the rowdy crowd.
Eddie swivels his head, his eyes catch the yellow of his boyfriend's outfit, stark in the sea of black.
Skewing his view of his boy is a woman with silky black hair and black fingernails trailing Steve's shoulder. Steve who looks like he's trying to push her off him, who has the most uncomfortable look on his face.
Eddie sees red.
"HEY. HEY YOU,"
He screams it into the mic and it startles not just the crowd but his bandmates, Gareth's stick goes flying.
There's a sudden silence as the boys catch their breath. Jeff looks at Eddie questioningly and follows his eyeliner to see Steve, still clutched by the goth lady.
Jeff looks at them and looks at Eddie and shakes his head, knows exactly what Eddie's about to do.
"HEY YOU, LADY WITH YOUR NAILS ON THE MAN IN YELLOW," Eddie hollers, enraged.
The lady finally turns, unimpressed by his antics, and raises an eyebrow.
"GET YOUR VERY NICE MANICURE OFF MY MAN PLEASE AND THANK YOU, HE'S NOT COMFORTABLE WITH PEOPLE TOUCHING HIM,"
There's a scandalous ooo that goes over the crowd like Eddie hasn't just outed himself right in the middle of a song.
The lady's eyebrows fly up and she spins to look at Steve who is trying very hard not to laugh.
"HEY, DON'T LOOK AT HIM! I HOPE YOU FIND YOUR OWN YELLOW POLO MAN BUT THIS ONE IS MINE! PLEASE RELEASE HIM THANKS!" Eddie tries to sound joking, less like he wants to rip her apart.
The lady's hands fly off his boyfriend's chest, and she looks apologetic, from that distance, Eddie's not sure but she looks well-shamed.
"OKAY THANK YOU! LOVE YOU BABY! LET'S GET THIS SHIT GOING! THREE TWO ONE!"
And thankfully the boys have his back because the music swells up.
Eddie gets back into the zone, zipping around the stage, but he keeps one eye always on Steve who's gone red in the face, but cheering him on like he always does.
Sure, Eddie's not the jealous type, but he is possessive, cause Steve.. is his.
And He is Steve's
---
Epilogue
Gareth's got Eddie by his ear as Steve comes up to them at the end of the show. "You can't just OUT yourself AND Steve like that Eddie!!! I thought we taught you manners!"
"SHE WAS TOUCHING HIM," Eddie howls.
Steve grabs his boyfriend out of Gareth's grip and hauls him under his arm. "Sorry boys, I'm stealing this one away,"
"C'mon Stevie!!!! She was touching you!!!!"
"Baby, you said we'd keep this a secret for another year to see how many women they'd speculate you'd impregnated,"
"Bye guys! see you at the hotel!" Steve calls cheerily as Eddie struggles in his arms.
hey did you know??? that if you stop stretching and maintaining mobility in your body then it goes away?? things get tight and you can't move the way that you used to??? and when you decide to try getting a stretch routine going that the first week fucking sucks because you keep going 'damn i used to be able to do this no problem' and then you have to switch gears and be kind to yourself and just focus on getting better from here instead of berating yourself for dropping the good habits in the first place??? and your body never stops aging so you gotta keep taking care of it and sometimes you gotta take care of it extra in certain areas because of things that happened when you were younger and it's boring and sometimes hurts but it's so necessary???
i am yelling this at myself right now i am going through An Experience (trying to get into a routine of body maintenance again for my physical and mental health)
“If you could have any super power at all, what would it be?”
Steve had been digging through a box of tapes when Robin asks, bored at the register.
It was a few weeks before spring break of 1986 and they were getting new shipments in to get ready for the busy week.
“Huh? Why would I need super powers? I’ve seen what that could do to a person.” He pointed out, setting the box back behind the counter.
“Okay but hypothetically. What would you pick?” Robin asked again, choosing this subject stubbornly.
“I honestly have no idea Robs. I’ve never put that much thought into it.” Steve replied, thankful when a group of teenagers wandered in and the subject was dropped.
A few weeks later, Robin is digging through a first aid kit. Steve is sat on the edge of his bathtub. They’re both still filthy and covered in blood. Robin turns around to see tears streaks down Steve’s cheeks, creating paths through the filth.
“Steve…?”
“Time travel.” Steve rasps out, arms wrapped around himself.
“Huh?” Robin asked, confused as she brings the kit over to help clean him up, along with some tissues.
“You asked me a few weeks ago. What I’d want my super power to be.” He whispered, staring at his bloodstained hands. The ones that had clung to Eddie when they found him and Dustin. Where they had to leave the man’s body behind in the upside down to save themselves.
“If you could have any super power at all, what would it be?”
Steve had been digging through a box of tapes when Robin asks, bored at the register.
It was a few weeks before spring break of 1986 and they were getting new shipments in to get ready for the busy week.
“Huh? Why would I need super powers? I’ve seen what that could do to a person.” He pointed out, setting the box back behind the counter.
“Okay but hypothetically. What would you pick?” Robin asked again, choosing this subject stubbornly.
“I honestly have no idea Robs. I’ve never put that much thought into it.” Steve replied, thankful when a group of teenagers wandered in and the subject was dropped.
A few weeks later, Robin is digging through a first aid kit. Steve is sat on the edge of his bathtub. They’re both still filthy and covered in blood. Robin turns around to see tears streaks down Steve’s cheeks, creating paths through the filth.
“Steve…?”
“Time travel.” Steve rasps out, arms wrapped around himself.
“Huh?” Robin asked, confused as she brings the kit over to help clean him up, along with some tissues.
“You asked me a few weeks ago. What I’d want my super power to be.” He whispered, staring at his bloodstained hands. The ones that had clung to Eddie when they found him and Dustin. Where they had to leave the man’s body behind in the upside down to save themselves.
Steve is the one who does most of the cooking in the Harrington-Munson household; not because Eddie doesn’t offer help, but because Steve is very specific about his cooking.
For the perfect mashed potatoes, Steve needs his potatoes peeled smoothly, then boiled for exactly fifteen minutes and mashed by hand. He also needs a certain kind of butter he only finds in the market close to Family Video, and the seasoning must be on point or the taste gets too heavy when the gravy is added.
Every one of his recipes is like that. Steve always has some kind of trick or tip he came up with as he learned to cook and that makes his food taste so good. And since he knows everything by heart, it’s hard to follow his instructions if you’re not familiar with them.
Steve also doesn’t have that much patience to teach his recipes. The one time Eddie tried to help his boyfriend with dinner, Steve lovingly kicked him out of the kitchen ten minutes later because, apparently, Eddie didn’t know the correct way to chop vegetables for the veggie soup they were supposed to be making.
Steve can easily process the fact that he's sexually attracted to Eddie. It's not a big deal; Steve knows he likes sex, he knows he's good at it, and it doesn't surprise him that he suddenly finds a boy attractive, he loves to have fun.
Steve knows how to have fun without getting his heart involved.
Contrary to what many may think, he did not have a crisis when he realized he wanted to kiss Eddie. But when he realized he was falling in love with Eddie... That's where the problem came in.
Steve understands sex... But falling in love with someone is something he's never been good at, that was the real crisis. And not because Eddie was a boy, but because Steve Harrington is good, very good at sex, but when it comes to love? Steve Harrington doesn't deserve love.
He truly believes he doesn't know how to love someone and that hurts him because Eddie really matters to him, and he desperately wants to love Eddie.
Eddie, on the other hand, has no experience with sex; he has the theory and his fantasies, but never the experience. He's created the idea in his mind that he's cute in a certain light and from a certain angle, but sexually? Nah, he has no sex appeal.
Eddie loves deeply. He's incredibly loud and intense when he's in love. He loves his uncle, he loves his guitar and his music. He knows how to melt for love. He's the kind of person who would literally die for someone he loves.
Eddie doesn't know how to have fun without putting his whole heart into it.
He not scared to discover he's in love with Steve Harrington. What scares him is that even before he fell in love with him, he's always known that Steve is good at sex, and that he loves sex, and Eddie... Eddie genuinely believes that he could not give him anything good.
OKay we all know Steve is a massive freaking cheeseball by the way he was walking up to Nancy's house with flowers to apologize when he got HIS feelings hurt-
But y'know who's a bigger cheeseball.
Eddie, drug dealer dm metalhead, Munson.
Steve is not used to being treated nicely, because y'know, he's a big tough strong man, definitely, and then Eddie comes and just flips his whole world around.
Eddie shows up with personalized mixtapes, and flowers, and poetry, and he always remembers the tiniest details, and he's doing all of it with the goofiest happy grin on his face.
But Steves favorite thing that Eddie ever did, wasn't even planned.
Wayne had a night shift, they were having a lazy night in at the trailer, and one of the neighbors, started playing a really lovey dovey song, pretty loudly.
Eddie got right up, and forced Steve to slow dance with him, even though Eddie, is a shitty dancer. Steve just snorted when Eddie tripped backwards over the coffee table and Eddie couldn't help but join him in laughing
