@littletoke - Tumblr Blog

megacity

it would have been okay, if it weren't for the loneliness. i liked to be alone - i liked the summer sun peeking her head over the lily-thin wings of dragonflies. i liked the shifting of a quiet woods, and the stirring matter of wildlife. the thin little bodies of crocus flowers; the silent knowledge of trees. i could spend hours in silence, listening. stirring my tea. knowing myself and the language of the world, in that way that being alone allows - as if nature says i'm showing only you this, are you watching?

but i was lonely. not in the places i expected, but in private, horrible moments. a snatched in-between state that would scream up inside of me, bristling - unannounced, the lonely just simply arrived, full and hungry. it saw me come out of the shower and said no one would know if you hit your head, my love. it saw the browning tops of perfect cupcakes and said you can never eat enough to fill this. it scooped me up in one giant arm and hung me over otherwise-peaceful moments and said see? where are you going? will anyone notice if you're gone?

a shifting, horrible thing - loneliness without escape. loneliness without shape. loneliness, swallowing me in a yawn.

inkskinned

it would have been okay, if it weren't for the loneliness. i liked to be alone - i liked the summer sun peeking her head over the lily-thin wings of dragonflies. i liked the shifting of a quiet woods, and the stirring matter of wildlife. the thin little bodies of crocus flowers; the silent knowledge of trees. i could spend hours in silence, listening. stirring my tea. knowing myself and the language of the world, in that way that being alone allows - as if nature says i'm showing only you this, are you watching?

but i was lonely. not in the places i expected, but in private, horrible moments. a snatched in-between state that would scream up inside of me, bristling - unannounced, the lonely just simply arrived, full and hungry. it saw me come out of the shower and said no one would know if you hit your head, my love. it saw the browning tops of perfect cupcakes and said you can never eat enough to fill this. it scooped me up in one giant arm and hung me over otherwise-peaceful moments and said see? where are you going? will anyone notice if you're gone?

a shifting, horrible thing - loneliness without escape. loneliness without shape. loneliness, swallowing me in a yawn.