fleeting moments

[madmadmilk]

BLACK LIVES MATTER. YESTERDAY, TODAY AND TOMORROW. @ noturjacky on IG

[litttle-flock]

Babies first Christmas was a major success and blessing 🎁❤️

[litttle-flock]

Happy holidays from the cutest lil elf there ever was

[thegoodvybe]

[thegoodvybe]

[thegoodvybe]

[litttle-flock]

You’re 1 month old today. 🖤 Why doesn’t it feel like you’re growing?

[litttle-flock]

Parenting has been a huge challenge to our relationship, but I am forever grateful for you, my love.

I never in a million years could’ve dreamed up a better man to call mine. You never make me feel bad about my emotions, and you take care of me better than you take care of yourself sometimes.

Seeing you with our son feels like the most unreal thing and I can’t believe how amazing you are with him. Sleep deprived and overworked you still come home everyday and you don’t hesitate to take over the responsibilities. Just for the sake of me getting in a shower and some rest. You are so selfless and beautiful inside and out.

I owe you everything. I love you. Thank you for being the best father. The best lover. The best ever.

I will never stop trying to be better for you. I love you for ever and ever.

[litttle-flock]

Sometimes I feel so scared to be your mama. They say once your baby comes insticts kick in and to just follow them.

I don’t have those insticts, I feel nervous every single kiss that I give you on the cheek will hurt. I don’t feel like I know how to feed you or burp you or bath you or anything!

The only thing I’m sure of is that you’re my miracle from somewhere inside me that I cannot explain. And that I love you so much more than I thought possible. Your daddy says that’s all I need to be a good mama and the rest comes with time. He’s never been wrong about the important stuff so I’m hoping he’s right.

Thank you for making it all a little easier when you coo and explore the room around you with your beautiful eyes. I love you my son. I know we are learning and growing together. 🌱

[litttle-flock]

1st bathy 🛀🏻🥺

[litttle-flock]

Colorado kids 🍂

[litttle-flock]

Postpartum is real.

My postpartum journey has been hell and back again. I am so thankful my partner had 2 weeks off to help take care of our son while I’ve just been helpless in bed covered in hives and recovering from the stitches and the achiness and all the other fun stuff. It kills me when I can’t take care of him or spend time with them like I want to so badly.

Today I saw the allergist and it feels as if there is now a light at the end of this tunnel. I am getting bloodwork done and I am on a regiment of new allergy pills and steroids that are all safe for baby and are supposed to give me some energy.

Praying this works.

[litttle-flock]

3am

Today was tough.

I am covered in hives everywhere. We cannot figure out what is happening to my body and it feels like it is trapped and I feel like I am too crippled to take care of my son.

I fought through it for an hour though and I fed him and laid him down to go back to bed and he’s out again. I feel accomplished.

I see an allergist tomorrow. I am hoping and praying he/she can help. 🙏🏻

[litttle-flock]

30 weeks.

[litttle-flock]

Tonight,

Paul & I were laying in bed and he groggily asked me, “babe, do you think our son will ever feel this?”

“Feel what?” I asked

“Just, love and stuff.”

I really truly believe you’re my one and only love on this earth. I am yours forever and whole heartedly. I love you baby.

I hope our son finds this kind of feeling. 🖤