Just Me Having Fun

Creating Stories, Art, and Obsessions

[liv-light-seer]

Wondering Nights:

Entry 16: My Name Is Mia

We did it. We figured it out. Took me just over a year, but we did it. Orion has helped so much. We Did It! I still haven’t found time to breathe. Everything, our calculations, our experiments, everything is showing that we’ve found the cure. I’ve not taken it yet. Even now, the temptation is strong. But, do I want to give up this gift?

Gift. Goodness, I think this is the first time I thought of it as a Gift and not a curse. I’m so grateful to know this side of life. To have this connection with another being. She and I have connected and bonded and have shown each other things that would be complete nonsense to anyone who didn’t experience it themselves. She and I have gotten to where we're relying on one another there, but what would happen if we are no longer together? Would we no longer be together? Is she a manifestation of my inner self that just happened to come out as a red wolf?

As a scientist, I want to really dig in and find the answers to these. But as one who has a connection, the potential of loss is too great of a risk. I know I’ve changed over this year and I worry about what I would be like when I’m just myself again and not a we? Even now, remembering the events that had happened and the life direction I’ve chosen because of everything, I know nothing will be the same. In fact, it is even worse.

The wolves have accepted both of us, and there is no worry. Orion has been a blessing and has accepted everything about me, including my wolf. If I were to tell my parents, I’m sure they would have many questions, but would they accept this part of me? What if I decide to take on a human companion? Would I be able to tell them? Would the world be able to accept something more? What would life be like if I continue being more than just human?

There have been many changes in acceptance within humans and that there are many who have a different identity. Would people believe this is just an identity thing? I know myself and I won’t ever go public, but would this misconception happen if I continue and do share with the few inner circle? Is this how those people feel when they go through this?

*** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** ***

Update: There was another accident. Or at least I’ll have to review the lab taps again to figure out how this happened. We were celebrating, maybe too much. I was drunk, so was Orion. It’s a blur, but this last night my wolf wasn’t the only one in the lab. It’s all my fault. I shouldn’t have recreated to then reverse engineer for a cure. Oh gosh, what have I done? I have the cure, but not enough for two. One ingredient is so rare, we will have such a hard time finding. But do I let him suffer through this as I had? I just don’t know what to do.

...See you in Part 2: Night Encounters

@catthewall @queent007

[liv-light-seer]

Wondering Nights: Part 15: New Neighbors

My old neighbors put their house up for sale after what happened. It took a couple months for it to sell. Partially because they had to clean out all the taxidermy. No normal human saw that and felt any warm homey feelings. The realtor was good at their job that is for sure. They spun what they needed to and got new people to recognize the beauty it could be. But even still the fact of a wolf attack caused many people to falter on wanting to buy.

Then one couple came to the viewing. It seemed like they had a large family with the way they spoke. Multiple children, maybe even some adult family members to move in. With the multiple story house, numerous bedrooms and bathrooms on all the floors, it seemed perfect for their family.

Only the couple came over to make introductions. It seemed odd to say the least. The pair were more than welcome to Orion and myself. They seemed familiar, as though I’ve known them a long time. I can’t shake that feeling. They opened their house for a housewarming party for the neighbors to come and visit. Orion thought it was a good idea, a way to save face over what happened. It wasn’t as if I didn’t want to go, it was more the familiarity to the new neighbors that seemed off putting to me. I don’t know if it is because my wolf seemed dormant the entire time, or if it seemed like she stirred happily when the woman hugged me. I’m not one who normally hugs strangers, but she just went right into the hug and no easy acceptable way to say no.

Orion thinks part of this is that they are genuinely nice people. I’m wondering what their kids will be like, and what improvements they will be adding to the house and property. I did discuss a bit about my research and how the wolves that protected me are also protected by the state. They seemed like animal activists in some ways. That put my heart and mind at ease.

Update on the wolves: they are still coming and ensuring I’m safe. But they are not as many at a time. It almost seems like they had found a new den. I’ve not been brought to the new den yet; however, it will be nice to see the little ones again when I’m allowed. The hierarchy seems to still want me a part of the pack, but it seems as though they’ve distanced some. I want to reach out to them, but maybe this will help me with the decision in the end.

Update on experiments: Orion’s family background on chemistry has really helped us understand this whole Dr. Jackal and Mr. Hyde tonic that I took. He got some great data done at night that my wolf allowed. Seems the connection has grown really well. Somehow. The list of ingredients seems to all play an important part to the transformation. Orion found the connection in a text that I swore I had already read, but looks like I didn’t. I didn’t have any notes at all in that particular text. He seemed to follow the connection to other texts that expressed something that was similar to what happened to me, but wasn’t exact. I think we are on the right track. It seemed like a breakthrough. Time will tell.

Update on my family and friends: My friends still call me. Erza almost daily. She has it in her head that Orion and my relationship is more than professional. Which, I guess could be right to some degree, but not what she is insinuating. I told her about the housewarming party, as I did I realized it was a day we decided to hang out. I asked her if she wanted to come with me. She said that we would have to see closer to the date. Mom and Dad request weekly video calls now instead of daily. That helps with the lab time. Orion was a blessing on alleviating their concerns. I still don’t get my dad’s blame on Orion for the incident, but it seems to be smoothing out the more we video one another. Dad stopped gruffing, at least, while he talked. That’s a positive.

@catthewall

[liv-light-seer]

Wondering Nights: Entry 14: Do I Continue

My neighbor didn’t have a good relationship with the community and it got worse after he attacked me. The community has been in and out most of the last couple of days. I think they just wanted to know what kind of woman could have wolves at their beck and call. This makes me worried because this might cause us to possibly have to lie. But given my research and the documents I have, they seem to be accepting that the wolves are just a part of my experiment and that they are just very familiar with me which might cause a sort of loyalty between me and the animals. But this kind of attention is just not something I’m a fan of to begin with, let alone trying to keep this secret.

Orion is still my assistant. He seems confident that he isn’t in danger of me, and that he will do his absolute best to help me find whatever solution I want in this. He thought even my wolf was beautiful. Not sure how I feel about that. I’m not sure how I feel about anything. Orion has been so amazing with keeping the community at bay. I wouldn’t have been able to get through all the questions and also keep the wolves calm without him. He has been a wonderful rock to lean on.

My parents were mortified. They now demanded to help pay for more security and possibly ship me off to a whole new place given that this was obviously not the right place for someone like me. They were slightly angry with Orion too, which made no logical sense. But what sense is there when you find out your daughter was almost harmed by her neighbor and was rescued by the wolves that she was researching. They were glad to accept the loyalty of the animals much faster than I would have thought, but it gave me breathing room from their almost complete smothering.

After what happened with my neighbor, there had been a link that formed between my wolf and myself. I’m understanding her now more than ever, but it seems like it’s caused a struggle for me to stay human during the day. Now that I’ve allowed her to have some day time while we defended the pups, she wants days. But this is my life. My wants and desires. Yes, we are closer now, the bond even more, I’m not sure if she would let me out at night. She hasn’t let that part happen. Seems she is just as stubborn in wanting to keep what little we started with.

Experiments with my wolf have become so much easier since Orion has been privy to all of the research now. I gave him access to the night time research and he is able to interact with my wolf with no issues. In fact my wolf seems to like him. I guess him being under the same roof and proving he wouldn’t harm us or the other wolves she deemed him one of the pack. The practicalities of it all has been a godsend, even if it isn’t something I would have been prepared for. Things have changed for the better, but the way it has progressed is not at all on how I would have pictured it all to happen. 

My emotions have been all over the place. My brain has been scattered too. I’m trying not to analyze everything, but that is so difficult. I’ve been told by my parents that they made a therapy session for me again. Looks like they are worried that I might laps into depression or some form of PTSD or something. I don’t disagree that I should see someone, maybe through talking things out even cryptically will help me decipher everything that has happened up until now and how I might go forward. Might even give me a break through.

@catthewall @queent007

[liv-light-seer]

Wondering Nights: Entry 13: Found Out

Hello, Orion here. I thought I would add this entry. She would probably want this to be recorded. I did a quick overview of the previous entries from her. I had no idea. She won’t be too happy when she wakes up. For one thing, I’m not counting this a breach of our agreement. For another, this way there will be another side to what happened in case you don’t remember everything that had happened.

I’d like to add my shock that you are a wolf. I don’t hate you for being different, and I understand why you would keep this a secret. I always wondered why you were researching everything that you were and not posting your findings on any boards, and now I know. Let me say this also, I won’t be going to the government. One, you are my paycheck. Two, you have such a brilliant mind to waste being cut up.

However, based on what you’ve written down, this is the first time you transformed during the day. It seems like your neighbors have been giving you issues with the wall and staying off your property. You have been protective of this land and the wolves that I thought you were an animal activist in your spare time. Which I should have realized wasn’t fact. You never take a break, unless it was to visit family or game day with your friends. It seems like the neighbors crossed your wall, and somehow you knew even with the alarm not going off. You raced into the woods to find the wolves, hoping to help them out.

I shouldn’t have followed. I knew you had wolves and that they were friendly to you, but they didn’t really like others around. But I couldn’t just let you go out there yourself. Given you are a petite woman, and your neighbors are “bat shit crazy” as you put it. I didn’t want you hurt and if anything I could maybe call someone for help while also helping you.

I’ve uploaded a video to this entry. Thought taking a video of them trespassing on your property will help you with the cops if they had to show up. I deleted it from my phone after I uploaded it here. I’m not sure if you have a spot for videos of you transforming or if  you have some of you as a wolf. To be honest, I was petrified, but I also really was in awe. There was no hesitation, the moment the man pointed the gun to the wolf pup, it seemed your instincts kicked over drive and you attacked.

I won’t go into much detail because the story I gave the cops is what I’m sticking to. I’m just glad it was only the man who was there and not his sons. It would have been much more difficult to cover. What the police think is that the man entered your property without permission. Upon observing the wolves and their pups, you went to stop the guy from killing them. He attacked you and the wolves were the one who killed him. Given the injuries the man had and the fact that you got scraped a bit from him shoving you to the side, the storyline was plausible. I got there too late to save him, but was able to call the cops and ambulance to arrive.

We can discuss what will happen from now on given I now know your secret. I’ll just leave with, I’m glad I know now. I hope I’m not fired, and if anything, I come from a family of chemists. I might be able to help you find this cure you are so determined to find.

----------  ----------  ----------  ----------  ----------  ----------

I’m a murderer. My wolf and I both saw red the moment he threatened the pups. I remember that much. I think my wolf shielded me from the rest, or maybe my subconscious knew my human side wasn’t going to be able to handle that. All I know is the blood lust was only for that man, he was the source of all that hatred and pure need for killing.

I’ve been found out...How did my neighbor get past my sensors? How do I make it to where this doesn’t happen again? Am I safe? What should I do?

@catthewall

[liv-light-seer]

Wondering Nights: Entry 12: Second Game Day

Justin brought her back! How could he do that after what happened last time? I thought he would have seen reason and understand she just isn’t what he needs in this world. On top of that, what did she do the moment she stepped into my house? Insulted me, and ranted about how I could live with such dangerous animals so close to my home. I told her she didn’t need to be here, and at that moment, Orion came up from the lab. Talk about hormonal overload. THIS, this she devil straight up flirted with him. No shame in her either. Justin was already in the other room, but still I couldn’t believe what was happening. Luckily, Orion didn’t seem to notice her advances, or ignored them. Maybe he was used to it, I don’t know. One thing for certain, I will make my feelings clear to Justin that this she devil is not welcome on my property again.

I couldn’t even have fun. Again. Orion joined the group which helped when we played in pairs. I think he felt my disgruntlement because he kept checking on me. I guess we’ve learned each other’s body language faster than most. But that is only given the fact that we are living under the same roof. The only times we are really not in the lab working is when one of us has class. It seems our schedules lined up well this semester and we have two days during the week where it’s practically no lab time. I get most of my homework done during those days as well so that I can still focus. Orion seemed to do the same, or work during the night.

Brad and Erza arrived before Justin and she devil, which helped some. Even with she devil flirting away with Orion, Erza knew I needed her and broke some of the tension by asking how the research was going. Talk of work seemed to always be a way for me to relieve stress and find some ground to be solid on. We switched to the dining room this time for gaming. With there being six of us playing, it was the best spot. We decided to start up the game that we ended with last time during our text conversation the week before so I had everything already set up. Once she devil came in she instantly went into annoyance. Justin tried to talk to her about it, but it didn’t placate her. She just got worse as the day went on. 

It wasn’t very enjoyable even with Orion and Erza trying to play mediator. After they all left I wept in frustration. How in the world could someone like her even keep around Justin? He couldn’t be completely fooled by her could he? She is just the complete opposite of who he is. He has always treated everyone with kindness and has no qualms of getting his hands dirty if it were to help others. Where as she is rotten. It was as if he was blind to it all. I really hope to be able to ask him exactly why he keeps her around, but I know I will just chicken out. He is a friend of mine, but I don’t want to over step.

I decided that, with a couple hours left before nightfall, I wanted to try some reconnecting. One of the younger male wolves came to me while I was in my room having a breakdown. It seemed like perfect timing because I needed that connection. I hugged him right up until I transformed. While my wolf self went out I noticed the house was all clean. It seemed like Orion cleaned up, I wanted to be sure I gave him a proper thank you, but he was already gone for the morning classes when I did end up getting up. I’m planning on letting him know in the lab or as soon as he and I are in the same room. 

I only hope my deplorable mood swings don’t deter him from still wanting to be my assistant. He has been an extraordinary help and I’ve been making more progress with the second pair of eyes and the double checks on my math. Things might progress better than I could have ever imagined. I might be able to find a cure soon. I’m going to have to review or add notes about my human side getting more swings in mood. It might cause issues later, but it could also not. I just don’t know.

Erza wanted to come over again, I asked if she wanted to do a day trip to the mall or something. Maybe grab food and be girly for a while. I wanted to ask her about something I observed through the chaos of game day. I could swear my instincts were telling me Erza and Brad are an item. Or at least they progressed further than just friends. It would be nice to hear something good like that. 

My parents have been insisting on family dinners every couple of weeks. They wanted to be sure that my research is still on track but also the move has been harder on them than they thought. It seems that their “baby moving out and being a star in her world” has caused them to become more nostalgic than they would have thought they could be. I’ve even wanted to go to them anyways, I’ve missed having them immediately in access. Maybe they can help me with the she-devil and my inability to keep calm around her. Goodness knows, I need some advice.

My wolf has been giving me a bit longer afternoons lately. She hasn’t been demanding for release the minute the sun is going down. I think we might be able to have a better give and take with one another. This curse isn’t as bad as it was at the beginning. I think it’s partially wolves and partially Orion. Something, in our day to day, has caused us to have a bit of understanding and it’s almost as if she has accepted Orion as one of us, even though he isn’t. Then the responsibility we both feel towards the wolves have given us a bit of comradery. I think that’s what we have at least now is a comradery.

@catthewall

[liv-light-seer]

Wondering Nights: Entry 11: Assistant Named Orion

Quick Pack update, I’m guessing the alpha put me on guard duty, by which I mean there is always a wolf with me. Each day one of the young wolves is with me throughout the day. I’m getting great use of the doggy door, which is a positive. Also, I’m pretty sure they want to get my wolf to hunt with them. They keep nudging me in both wolf and human form. I’m curious to see how this progresses. Although, I'm not really looking forward to hunting in general, just curious on how they would accept me more.

Justin and Brad hadn’t gotten off my back about having a housemate, they had called and texted me daily about it. Men! To get them off my back, I made and put the announcement for an assistant not a few short days ago and I already found someone who meets most of the requirements. My new assistant’s name is Orion. I hadn’t seen any issues during the interview process. In fact, the boys were around when I interviewed and seemed to think he was a good fit. They even said it would be cool to have him join the gaming group if he wanted. Orion accepted the position when I offered it and moved in within a couple of days. Over the first few days or so, things have been rocky, but are smoothing out slowly. I’m grateful that he is used to larger dogs, his family had many while he grew up. He seemed to think that the wolves are mine and that they are actually a large dog breeds, like I’m a breeder of some kind. He even greets them as if they could understand him.

Orion took the position as my assistant for his research degree. He is focusing on biological and environmental studies. Which given my research is exactly what he is studying. He, so far, has high grades and his professors gave him high praise as a student and his capabilities. The only reason why he stated that he took this position versus one at a high prodigious positioned place was because the research would be in both areas he is studying. All the other places would have been one or the other. No one offered him the challenge this would ensue. He knows I just switched my majors some time ago and even though I’m his senior in age, he is actually more of a senior in our research. But he doesn’t seem to mind that. I think given my parents and their credentials this will be beneficial for him and getting contacts in where he wants to go. It’s helpful to know that this was helpful for him as well as me. Mutual benefit, it's a good way to start a partnership.

Dad was surprisingly ok with Orion staying at my place. I think because he knows this is a professional relationship and that he has had female assistants throughout his career and nothing happened. When two scientists come together, it can become a hodgepodge of two minds melding into one. Which if you only have one side of the spectrum, you could miss some of the information. I think he was just as impressed with Orion’s credential as I was. It wouldn’t be long for him to go off and need an assistant of his own when he pursues his own work. I guess he believes I will be the same. Time will tell as the research progresses.

Mom wasn’t too happy that my assistant was male, nor was she happy that I’m letting him rent out one of the rooms upstairs. My tenacity for scheduling and enforcing rules has alleviated some of my mother’s issues. We have a strict curfew that I have enforced, especially given I don’t know how he will react to me being a wolf too. It helps that my wolf was able to communicate to the other wolves that I would like their help. I still can’t fully understand the communications between them, but one of the wolves will stay outside his room and make sure Orion stays there at night. 

I’m hoping that I'll be able to pick up more on the wolves' communication and be able to understand what they are saying to one another through the many interactions with my wolf. I know my wolf is communicating my needs, but their language isn’t something that can be accessible to my human mind. I’m not sure if it is because I’m still thinking humanly during their interactions, or if I should relinquish even more of myself to be able to possibly understand. It’s an experiment, I’ve thought about doing, but too scared to enact. Maybe there is a pattern I’ll be able to pick up and be able to understand them better. 

My wolf has no problem with Orion. Which unnerves me some. She has been very suspicious of anyone new or anyone who might be a threat. From the very beginning she was calm. Seems like she noticed something about him that I don’t know about. I’ve not been able to have a good communication with her, we are still able to sense moods from one another, but to understand the mindset fully hasn’t been there. I think her communicating with the wolves was a precaution because my emotions and stress are so high in not finding out. Or maybe she understands me more than I can understand her.

My only hope right now is that I will be able to get answers, and not screw up when having Orion checking my notes and data. My wish. I want to be able to communicate with my wolf to where we can both understand fully. She is a part of me now, I want to understand. Even if I find the cure, I won’t forget her, nor what she can teach me. I want to understand and maybe protect the wolves even after she is gone. If they don’t find me a threat. It’s not like me to get sentimental, but I’ve become quite attached to the wolves and will fight whoever tries to hurt them. But I need to understand them first, and hope they accept me still.

@catthewall

[catchymemes]

[tadpoledancer]

Listen, in this house we stack +2s and +4s and end up having to take 12 cards like bitches

[thirdchairfreshie]

Sorry, gotta agree with UNO on this one, y'all just salty cause you wanna play dirty

[do-black-people-do-stuff-deacti]

[catthewall]

@liv-light-seer

[liv-light-seer]

@catthewall straight up played it wrong my entire life. We've always stacked. Lol

[frejann]

How do you make people fall in love with you

challenge them to a duel 

[frejann]

I ENDED UP DRAWING A COMIC ABOUT THIS STUPID FUCKING ASK IM CRYING

an extremely short story about two knights who were made for each other

[liv-light-seer]

Bro

[liv-light-seer]

Newest Painting: Seasons of Love

Might add more, not sure yet. Whatcha Think?

@catthewall

[snootyfoxfashion]

Crescent Moon Crystal Crowns from owisteria

x / x / x x / x / x

[stunningpicture]

So proud of my mother for doing her own research after I sent her that meme. A sign she hung in her car window.

[jettestblack-deactivated2017080]

Stay woke

[pual1010-deactivated20150723]

Is this true?

[mallninjacode-deactivated201812]

Not only is it true, it gets worse. The Susan G Komen For The Cure Foundation has actually successfully sued “competing” charities, because (paraphrasing) their “message or branding was infringing.”

You read that correctly: they took money that people had donated to cure cancer, and hired attorneys with it, to sue ANOTHER group of people trying to find a cure for cancer, who, in turn, had to us their donated money to hire their own legal counsel to defend themselves.

[redbloodedamerica]

[spacemohawks]

Yeah signal boost because not enough people know about this and seriously FUCK SUSAN G. KOMEN THEY ARE THE ACTUAL WORST

[beanmom]

Some links…

http://thinkbeforeyoupink.org/

http://www.somethingawful.com/feature-articles/for-the-cure/

http://thestir.cafemom.com/in_the_news/132728/susan_g_komen_foundation_has

(reblogged in honor of my mother, who died of breast cancer, 11/13/97)

[hello-missvixy-deactivated20160]

Reblog every time I see it. Roughly once a month.

[blockmind]

Also please never forget the pink fracking drill bit

that’s right fracking you know, a process using chemicals known to cause cancer that leech into the water supply

http://www.triplepundit.com/2014/10/baker-hughes-fights-breast-cancer-pink-fracking-drill-bits/

http://www.nbcnews.com/health/cancer/pink-drill-bits-bring-complaints-komen-tie-fracking-n223166

[alexithymia42]

It’s that time of year again, please remember Komen is the actual worst

[sofia-ciel]

Komen For The Cure is pretty much awful.

[imaginarycircus]

My mother died in 1996 from breast cancer. Most cancer charities are scams, in that people throw fancy parties and get rich off them and very little money goes into research or support for patients. Here are some vetted cancer charities that get good scores on Charity Navigator and pay medical expenses or fund research:

Breast Cancer Research Foundation

Cancer Research Institute

Dana-Farber Cancer Institute

63 four star rated cancer charities on charity navigator

[spacey-sandwich]

Signal boosting this

[emmalily]

Reblogging from myself because it’s October now

[mythoslogica]

If any of you, family, friends, etc. Have cancer please inform yourself 💖

[untitled34800]

[liv-light-seer]

Gold!

[nasa]

Is the earth really as beautiful as they say from space?

[liv-light-seer]

So cool

[seal-of-unknown]

me, begging, tears in my eyes: please. please just tell me what the book is about. the plot. please

a book annotation on the cover, unfazed: A Subversive Masterpiece. A Deep And Touching Story. The New York Times Bestseller. Go Fuck Yourself

[liv-light-seer]

**Extreme frustration screaming**

[alittledaylight]

Will definitely be trying this...

[liv-light-seer]

This will be worth a try for my next writing series

[liv-light-seer]

Master Post Wondering Nights Part 1:

This is for if you want to read in order. There will be 16 entries for Part 1.

https://liv-light-seer.tumblr.com/post/184572423440/wondering-nights-entry-1-sleepless-nights

https://liv-light-seer.tumblr.com/post/184719123160/wondering-nights

https://liv-light-seer.tumblr.com/post/184819464410/wondering-nights

https://liv-light-seer.tumblr.com/post/185376325905/wondering-nights-entry-4-food-and-drinks

https://liv-light-seer.tumblr.com/post/185441378925/wondering-nights-entry-5-let-the-search-begin

https://liv-light-seer.tumblr.com/post/185486484740/wondering-nights-entry-6-house-warming

https://liv-light-seer.tumblr.com/post/185825745500/wondering-nights-entry-7-neighbors

https://liv-light-seer.tumblr.com/post/185981789345/wondering-nights-entry-8-sensory-overload

https://liv-light-seer.tumblr.com/post/186366420405/wondering-nights-entry-9-first-game-day

https://liv-light-seer.tumblr.com/post/187429430495/wondering-nights-entry-10-territory

[liv-light-seer]

Wondering Nights: Entry 10: Territory

Update on my friends, Justin called and apologized for she devil’s rudeness. She wasn't normally like that and was acting out because it was unfamiliar space. I told him I could understand that but everyone has a limit for what can be said about them and their home. I didn’t want anything to be between our friendship, and that I didn’t hold anything against him.

Environment update: I think something upset the canines in my woods. They moved their den closer to my house, which is extremely abnormal for them to do that. Especially sense it will be further away from the water. However, that explains why the she devil got so skittish towards the end of game night. Maybe she really did see a large animal. To be honest, I’m glad she got skittish. Maybe she will stay away from my home and me for now on. A girl can dream right? But I had looked back on the video surveillance, seems the neighbors have been along the border again. It seems harmless, but I’m not feeling the most confident that they are not going to try to cross to my land again. I don’t want to confront them again, the man is insane and won’t see what he is doing is wrong.

One cool thing, with the pups move, is that they are so close to my house now, I was able to get a picture of them from my window. Up until now, I've had the security camera out in the woods to go off of. But now with a color photo, I think I’ve was able to identify the wolf species. That was my initial theory, wolf. From the picture, I could tell they were too small for being gray wolves, but too big for coyote. I got a second opinion on it and I was correct. They are red wolves. What are the odds of me, a half red wolf from a tonic, would find a house that has a pack of red wolves living in the woods? This coincidence has startled me some. It seemed like I was still playing by someone else’s design, I wish I could find that lady.

Up until this point the wolves had stayed away from me anytime I got to them close. Now, they almost act in a guarding way. Guarding me not against me. Have they become so familiar that they’ve accepted me, or at least accepted the wolf in me? I’m hope that tonight means that they will not attack my wolf body while I’m out there. I know this move was more to protect the pack, but something seems more. Their pattern has changed so much.

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Updated Entry Log: Territory:

It seems that they have accepted me into their pack. How this happened, I’ve no clue. However, when my wolf went out for this last night, the wolves seemed to gather her to bring her closer to the others. The elder, not alpha, came up to my wolf form and did some custom amongst the wolves. I’m still not 100% what it meant, but it was something that I’ll have to research about when people put a new wolf within an existing ecosystem.

The alpha seemed to be accepting also. He even did a show of it. The wolf in me was...I guess I could say relieved. I think she was as nervous as I was given this was their territory. I think I’ve been given a sort of protection role in the pack. I’ve really already started that, it just seems odd that they just knew that I was. I’m honestly touched by this kind of loyalty. There are only a couple of females in this pack. One had pups recently. She even let me near them. My wolf and human heart soared by the sight and instantly developed protective feelings over those little ones.

I’m wondering how I can communicate to them that if they have to hide, that my house will be open for them. One of the younger wolves came over to me as I came out with my morning coffee. I don’t really need the coffee, I’m always energized in the morning even though I’m technically wake. Still not sure how that is. Drinking coffee is nostalgic for me and I’m drinking decaf so I don’t get too jumpy that I won’t be able to focus. The pup climbed my porch stairs and just laid down at my feet while I rocked. I was even able to scratch between his ears. He didn’t leave me the entire day. The contentment from my wolf was amazing, she didn’t stir at all. She didn’t even prodded me like she has been since the neighbors, or more recently/accurately the she devil.

This does bring up the question, what will they do when I’ve found a cure? Will they still accept me without my wolf? I know this for sure, no matter what happens, I will protect them.

@catthewall @cantdutchthis