HaHaHa ThE JoKe iS mE ((autoplay))

independent joker from suicide squad PLEASE READ RULES mun and muse are over 21 will be NSFW at times

[livefcrme]

OOC: HIATUS WARNING

sorry i’ve been shit on here.

I mentioned it before that I really want to be in a rp group, or make one for that matter. But I can’t bring myself to be on here for a bit and i don’t know why.

SO, with that i’m going to be on a hiatus for 4 days and see how I feel.

[livefcrme]

ooc: ugh, sorry for not being active

i’ve really been wanting to make a RP group, but i don’t think I can do it alone :(

[livefcrme]

Drunk/Drinking Starters

❝I do not get drunk-- I get awesome.❞

❝I didn't fall... the floor just needed a hug. ❞

❝Wanna know what rhymes with drunk? Sex. ❞

❝Nothing tastes as good as drunk feels.❞

❝I've had... eleventy twelve beers.❞

❝I've been cheating on you with a guy named Morgan. He's a captain.❞

❝I'm not as drunk as I use to was.❞

❝Halloween? More like Hallowe-’re getting fucked up.❞

❝What do you expect me to do- I'm drunk!❞

❝But then I remember that alcohol existed.❞

❝It’s not called slurring your words. It’s called talking in cursive and it’s fucking elegant.❞

❝I’m totally walking straight, but this damn Earth is drunk!❞

❝If you can’t suck a cigarette, you sure as hell can’t suck a dick!❞

❝I wanna bae you up.❞

❝You're so drunk when I'm pretty.❞

❝It's 10;30 and I'm already fucking wasted…❞

❝I'm almost sober...❞

❝We are best friends now. Yeah c'mere, let's get drunk again.❞

❝Why do people wear boxers? They’re just like small pants.❞

❝I am currently dating a tall bottle of Jack Daniels.❞

❝I’m in Pirates of the Caribbean right now..❞

❝Take me drunk I’m home.❞

❝Let’s go dress up like Batman and Robin and patrol the neighborhood.❞

❝Your kitchen is so far away. Who designed this shit?❞

❝Your cat... has it always had a German accent?❞

[livefcrme]

ooc; fun fact

i can chug fucking coolers like a boss

if it was beer i know it would be MUCH faster

i hate my life today xD

[gotyouakitty-deactivated2018012]

   Harleen blanched instantly when his hand wrapped around her throat, effectively cutting off her air with every squeeze. Of course it added to the experience, making it more dangerous even if she knew he wouldn’t do it hard enough to make her pass out, but still - one hand ended up on his wrist like a fail-safe, knuckles white with squeezing. Her eyes closed, struggling to swallow while at the same time letting out little squeaks every time his grip lessened and he dragged away from her, only to throw her off guard again with an almost painful push of his hips joined by added pressure around her neck.    “I can’t – breathe –” she wheezed, cut off by a choked cough-slash-cry, her cheeks reddening again as her head pressed back against the wall, the nails on his back clawing harder until they broke skin.    Though she loved this, how he treated her, how he knew exactly what made her tick and how he could get her to lose herself completely in all of the sensations… she also hated it that he didn’t seem to struggle as much with all the building pleasure as she did. What she wouldn’t give to watch him unable to keep control, erratic and angry that he couldn’t keep it off any longer… A little crack in that eternal control that he maintained so carefully.

[livefcrme]

Moving both hands to her waist, moving her hard and faster ontop of him. He didn’t care at this point, what he wanted was her. He wanted her hard, slow, fast, soft. At this point, he just wanted her all the ways. When she said she couldn’t breathe, it sent him over the edge. It was the words he needed to moved against her harder. “Oh god..” He groaned, and leaned his head back, biting down on his lip. Every thrust was harder then the last, he knew that she would have bruises on the back of her thighs from his hip bones. Again, he was closer then he wanted to admit. Moving her faster, before he reached that point. Stopping all motions, burrowing himself inside her as he came. A long, dragged out groan left his lips, body shaking as he fought to stay standing on shaking legs. A weak moan of her name left his lips as he moaned through his teeth.

[gcdkiiller-blog]

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[livefcrme]

Furrowing his brows, before he knew it he pushed her down onto him. Hard, and fast. Soon he was buried inside her, feeling her wrapping around him tight. A shiver crawled down his spine as he choked out the words. “Y-You move, y-y-you’re in c-control..”

[gcdkiiller-blog]

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[livefcrme]

Curling his fingers slowly as he pushed in and out, narrowing his eyes to her. Licking his lips as he removed his fingers, but moved his length to her entrance. Pushing just the head in, a low growl crawled from his lips. “Tell me to stop if it hurts..” He groaned, and pushed her down inch by inch onto his cock.

[gcdkiiller-blog]

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[livefcrme]

Moving his fingers in and out of her, smirking at her words. He didn’t say anything just yet, he wanted to watch her squirm. To watch her melt like puddy in his hand. “No, sweet lil’ one..” He growled, and stopped his motions for a moment. “You can’t be sore and screaming for me to stop, because we’re going all night long.” In another swift motion, he moved three fingers inside her. Twisting and turning to stretch her out. Cock twitching impatiently against her belly.

[derangedquinn]

Usually, when he asks her that, it’s for something that has little weight. Deciding whether someone lives or dies ————-though, she supposes that that’s exactly what this is. Though usually, the death of someone else has little impact on their lives. This? This could change everything. Is she ready for that? ——As much as she wants it to happen, it’s never going to be like her dreams. Harley’s eyes focus on Joker, finding her voice. “I want to be your girl.” It’s what she chose first, and it’s what she’ll always choose. Live for him. 

[livefcrme]

Patting his lap, raising a brow to her slowly. “Come, come..” He sighed, and leaned back in his chair. “You are my girl. You will never be anyone else’s girl. I will remind you, that you are you. You are the real you because of me. But...” He sighed, and licked his lips. “You know I’m not father material...right now.” The last part hurt him more to say, then to think about. Because he wasn’t sure if he could give her what she wanted in a family status. But, he was willing to try, or half ass try at the least.

[quixoticvixen-deletingsoon-deac]

Anyone else may have been mad– he’d just come inside of her and not told her there was now a chance she could get pregnant. But truth be told, she was so happy. “Oh, puddin’! That’s wonderful!”

[livefcrme]

Kissing her neck softly, tongue following his lips. “Well, its not set in stone that you’re pregnant..” He purred, and nipped softly at her skin. “I mean, we can keep trying, and trying, and trying..” Joker teased, and rocked his hips slowly. “If you want to, I mean...I can stop..”

[livefcrme]

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[quixoticvixen-deletingsoon-deac]

As he collapsed against her, Harley held him. She rubbed his back affectionately, whispering sweet nothings into his ear. He was so good to her. She loved him so, so much. “That was fuckin’ amazing, baby.”

[livefcrme]

Slowly pulling back out of breath as he grinned at her. “Did I tell you I was tested...” He grinned wider. “Another test to see if i’m still shooting blanks after that drive in that bleach..” Joker licked his lips slowly. “We’ll, not blanks anymore. Guess it was a temporary condition....”

[gcdkiiller-blog]

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[livefcrme]

The fact that she wasn’t say anything, and just making frantic noises. Her body moved against him, smirking to himself. Grabbing her hip, stilling her as his fingers moved between them. Pushing two fingers into her, stretching her slowly. “Oh kitten, you know it’s going to hurt..”

[quixoticvixen-deletingsoon-deac]

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[livefcrme]

As she clamped around him, he hissed in pleasure. Every thrust was harder. Her orgasm threw him over the edge, driving himself deep into her. Burrowing his face in the crook of her neck. “Oh baby...” He breathed against her skin as he finished. Shaking violently against her, hips bucking with each motion. Going limp, his body collapsing onto hers.

[livefcrme]

clownyqueen (jester):

Crimson lips twitched into a smirk as her tongue swiped her lower one, Jester’s back arched to push herself further into his touch while she hummed lowly. ❝ Wellllll, I think that is absolutely a fantastic idea. ❞

Fingers brushing against her nipples lightly, running his tongue over the outside of her ear. “Do me a favour, and while I run and get us some wine...” He paused, and nipped at her earlobe. “You get yourself all ready for me.”

[livefcrme]

ooc: when your muse is like

“OMG YOU’RE HURTING! LET ME GIVE YOU EVERYTHING YOU WANT LIKE DADDY JOKER FEELS”

[livefcrme]

his-lil-psycho replied to your post “ooc: going to be on in a bit found out my dad got married last night...”

My dad did the same to me when I was 5 he went to Las Vegas and married my step bitch aka satan

well, i’m 24, and was involved with the wedding, and was actively asking about it weekly. And some how I slipped his mind. 

[livefcrme]

ooc: going to be on in a bit

found out my dad got married last night without telling me.

I’m his only child, and well, kinda dug deep