IamLynaVise @livelovelyna - Tumblr Blog

I know in my remaining days i won't ever get to the point to forgive you.

Even now, days are filled with too much anger and regret.

Just you wait..

"If only" and "Only if"

Which is which

I just want to live alone for a while.

I just want to forget.

I just want to let go.

I need to.

Nightmare 1.30.21

We were on a trip with the kids and friends on a river park. Then there was a bridge we crossed when i said i needed to head back home coz i missed something. I went back. Alone. While I was trying to look for something I heard men and I suddenly felt i needed to lock my doors so they wont be able to get in. I shouted and cried for help but no one heard. Then i thought of you guys whom i left in the park. I thought I needed to move out alive to check on you to make sure you are okay. That you guys were alive. So i mustered every inch of courage i needed.. took 2 knives from the kitchen and went on the back door. There were two men. I fought them. I was slapped and knocked down so i kicked back and slammed my every strength... and killed them both. I ran towards the back of the house and climbed on the mountains. There were 3 men who were after me. Couldnt remember anyone. One held my foot so i kicked. When i reached the top, i was again on the park. So i shouted for you for our friends who can possibly hear me. But to no avail. Then the 3 men arrived. They were laughing like I know them. But dang cant remember anyone. One brought out a gun. And pointed at me. When ijerne showed up and said, "Mommy". The man pointed the gun towards Ijerne and I quickly ran towards my kid. I knew I was shot ! And i felt it ! I fell down. Ijerne was shocked and cried. I said RUN !!!!! I dont know what has gotten into me. But i stood up and faced the men. They were staring. They were grining. Then he shot me again. I felt it ! But i continued to walk towards them. And then I ran and killed the 2 men. But when I was near the last man, he said, "Mommy". And the voice of that man was so familiar it hurt soooooo bad. It was YOU. But it's not your face I could remember or describe. You hugged me. But I chose to stab you with my bloody knife. I killed you. I woke up.

Oh God! Give me a sign ! 😭😭😭

Oh God, give me a sign! 😣😔

Be merry this Christmas, self.

You can. You will. You got this.

"Even if you understand the sitauation, understanding the person is another story."

#TheBeautyInside

#WhyAmI

Slowly but surely..

"I can take the time til i next see you smile."

Only I know... Only I feel... Only I understand.

I miss my person. 😔

The longest 10 hours of my 2020 so far...

Please hold on, self. Get it together. Time heals.. no matter how long. No matter how strong. No matter how difficult. You're never the better half. You are best whole. Get you shit together !

You will never understand me until the day you die.

😌😌😌

I love you. And this is why I don't tolerate the truth about you. 😌😌😌

#sorrynotsorry

Every bit of use has been lesser and lesser.

It's painful to realize that I cannot even utter a word to you, or even feel like i should. My fears are scattered and theyre slowly cowering me in weakness. I cannot even celebrate my little wins anymore. The pressure, the thoughts, the lost have devoured the meanings of my existence. This is all me and my demons. Im sorry. Please be happy.

Always will and forever will live for you two... 😌👩‍👧‍👦💚 #WithoutJudgment #WithoutPrejudice https://www.instagram.com/p/B-aE26Zl32GeU5AfXVxRjOMMHKXoRdyCwp-N_A0/?igshid=k1lsrqb1d0xu

#withoutjudgment #withoutprejudice

Thank you team for the unwavering commitment and support ! Being apart taught us how to be together in these times. And challenging our limitations and exceeding expectations are our best shots! Let's continue bringing the best out of each one while being the best of who we are. Walk and talk that angst of being a ridiculous human ! 😉💪👍💚💚💚 #TaskUsLaUnion #WorkFromHomeWarriors #TeamAnneGST #IDoWeActBeRidiculous #WeAreUs #AlexFredShariPengMark #MaKimChingZaneBaning #JasStevenYasiCharlesMars (at Taskus La Union) https://www.instagram.com/p/B-GuP9KF0VK4cTRrelLbOOUHCnqcho2d0TIPE00/?igshid=1qpxrtpanvv4k

#taskuslaunion #workfromhomewarriors #teamannegst #idoweactberidiculous #weareus #alexfredsharipengmark #makimchingzanebaning #jasstevenyasicharlesmars

Thanks you for choosing to be with us at this time of urgency Daddy @nyllrowann. Amidst the dreaded virus, let's celebrate life! And pray everything will turn out better in no time. 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦💪💚 😷🙏🙏🙏☝️☝️☝️ https://www.instagram.com/p/B9s6aL4lIZ6P0vYkCho-HHp5usDEOrggTHIR5E0/?igshid=12d0gxfxf38p1

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