Journal

This blog is for the documentation of my recovery experiences. -----------------------------------

[livesareentertainmentjournal]

Heyya, anyone wanna talk on "ruealgedonic" @skype.com.

[livesareentertainmentjournal]

Quick Update:

I made it to my new place. It's been nearly a month, which has consisted of applying for a job, changing course each time new information arose, and necessarily filling out the paperwork for a replacement social security card. I am either going to train to become a dealer at the casino, or, in the case the training period's too far away, I'll take a security officer position. It's going to be my birthday soon. There have been some nightmares now and then over the last few weeks. Mostly, everything has been going well.

[livesareentertainmentjournal]

helpharleygetsafe --> livesareentertainmentjournal

[livesareentertainmentjournal]

Everything is done.

Everything I've been planning since May is just done. My car, my insurance, packing, fundraising, bank stuff, and I should be making the drive to the mountains early Tuesday morning. Once there, I'm gonna try to transition to vidblogging, but I'll put any related videos here, and, in some cases, do the occasional textpost if I'm uncomfortable saying it on my main blog or on camera.

Again, I want to thank everyone who's been hell'a supportive. I'm so incredibly grateful and it's amazing how far I've come, even if there's still more to do.

On a distantly related note, this woman's incredible story has inspired me. I'm not nearly as talented with words, but I'd like to start working on something I don't cringe reading.

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Ended up leaving the car at the mechanic's for a new pair of calipers, which was incredibly confusing and difficult as someone unfamiliar with automobiles. The good news is it should come to $160 with labor. Previous mechanic bills have broken $500, so I'm a little relieved even though I was holding out on a quick inspection and registration today. All in all, it's a good thing I'm putting off the trip another week.

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And the neighbor just called me to the door to let me know ma wanted me to give her a ride to pick up the materials for the fence. Ma didn't say anything about that. I'm not even on the road yet.

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Tried to head out for inspection, but my engine won't start. So, I called the "Satan's Army Exposed"-guy for a jump and he said he'd be here in thirty minutes.

Also, ma called to ask that I help the neighbor build a fence around the small pond to keep the baby ducks from drowning. The problem being this woman does not seem to know how to do that, which means I'd have to be the leader. I'm already busy enough organizing the things I have to do to leave this place permanently because you chose him, ma. This isn't my problem, too.

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Just had a nightmare that involved my mom strangling me and saying how good I got it. It felt so real and hopeless.

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I can't believe the morning that just happened.

Called a cab at approximately 8 AM for a ride to the bank to get a replacement debit card, which meant scrounging around for enough money for fare from whatever coins I had laying around the house. I explained this to the driver and he suggested I pay after getting my temporary card, but the bank was closed 'til 9 AM. He offered to charge me nothing for that ride, just taxi me home and return around opening time. This guy intermittently received phone calls. Suddenly, he asked whether I would help him, quote, "move some crazy lady" from her apartment for free fare plus the twenty she promised his son --whom could not make it today.

I agreed. Performed my errands. And then, we loaded his trailer full of couches and chairs and endless nondescript bags. We made two trips to this storage place and then we stopped at a bank so she could retrieve the owed amount. While she was gone, this man mentioned that his daughter was looking for a single person to move in and help out with her child. I explained my circumstances vaguely and thanked him, only to be given his card with his number.

The card said "Satan's Army Exposed".

I ended up making forty bucks from the entire ordeal.

My ma let me know they're gonna be waiting 'til a court date, so they'll be gone for at least another week. I'm considering waiting 'til next Tuesday since my insurance and replacement debit should be coming in the mail soon. It's a bit of a let down because I wanted to get going as soon as possible, but this would be simpler. Of course, my plans never stop changing.

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I made it home. I may or may not have taken out my frustrations successfully, but I've been told this blog has reached my mother's ears. I have to be cautious about how specific I am. That said, I can say I'm intending to work on my final assignment tomorrow and then arrange a ride to pick up my registration. I want to ask the next-door neighbor because he would be a great contact in the future since he's former law enforcement.

Not too much food I know how to cook, but there is mac 'n cheese, which I actually know how to make now. Lots of changes to my room. There are more animals in and out of the house, ha.

I did contact my ma today because I wanted to let my professor know I intended to submit the assignment tomorrow since you cannot appeal twice and she made no deadline --and the net was out for over five hours. While on the phone, my stepdad started telling her to tell me to try x, y, and z. I just couldn't handle it. I told ma I needed to get off the phone. She said something about how she was just getting the suggestion from my stepdad, but was still there. I just told her I know, but I need to get off the phone. Her tone dipped when she said bye, but I'm not sure whether that was directed at me or to the reminder that her might-as-well-be-husband assaulted her daughter.

I'm feeling simultaneously bitter and lonely tonight. Tired of people getting credit for being there when they aren't. It's not entirely a bad day, though. I didn't think I'd ever see my puppy again, and yet she's present for the four days I'll be here.

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Yesterday, the indiegogo money disbursed, I met with the chair and successfully argued for my appeal, purchased car insurance, and I'm currently preparing to head for my old home to complete the registration and inspection. Then, time for packing.

I was incredibly bummed last night despite this because of a phone-call that went less than satisfactorily in conjunction with a lack of goodbyes from some folks. But, all in all, the situation is improving. Met with my criminology professor/mentor and she's asking around for contacts who might be able to help guide me into the emergency communications field. There's been talk of Vermont, though it's probably months off still.

She was massively worried that I am traveling somewhere I've never been to stay with folks I met through this site, which was refreshing. Not a single close friend or family member seemed to care throughout the process as long as it wasn't on their shoulders. I'm not really worried, though. Just a thoughtful sentiment on my professor's part.

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Every time I speak to my mom, my voice shakes. I guess it's the things I heard. I'm so confused about where she stands.

Apparently, mom found out about my claims regarding the vibrator. My stepdad told her it was from the sex toys they found in this house they were clearing out. He was gonna burn them, left them on the counter, and I randomly took one. So, he was too embarrassed to say anything. Because I'd obviously grab a phallic vibrator off the counter, that totally makes sense. I'm pretty sure the one he gave me had a receipt with it. I'm gonna look for it when I get home.

The folks I'm staying with are being awesome and giving me a ride home since my sister's unable and/or never planned on it because she's short on cash. I found out ma and my stepdad are driving up to Massachusetts this weekend, so I'm gonna use their away-time to get my car inspected after the insurance kicks in. Gonna see if I can put it off a couple days 'til Tuesday because that's the best time for the next place I'm going, but it depends on whether my mom is willing to help delay their return.

The appeal isn't going as smoothly as I'd hoped. I'm going to complete as much of the process as I can in person, but it'll probably stretch on after I leave. So far, the greatest deterrent is how disorganized it's been.

[livesareentertainmentjournal]

I've tried to update several times, but tumblr has been a pain. I made it to North Carolina and now I'm working on the grade appeal, waiting on the money to disburse and attempting to fulfill a number of smaller tasks. I need to change my address, get a new license and debit card, organize the packing situation so I can get my car inspected before packing while having the security of not bumping into my stepdad.

I've been staying at some friends and it's been great. There are some down nights because I'm not sure my mom even worries about me, but, well, I'm doing reasonably well. Gonna try to back-log some posts about my traveling adventure because so much happened from trams to ducks to rainbow Canadian Flag tents in the airport.

[livesareentertainmentjournal]

tommyistoofastforthisshit replied to your photoset:I don’t really know what to say. It feels like the...

What is all the stuff in the picture?

They're the gifts my friend gave me. Uh, it includes a gay-friendly Canadian flag, sketchbook, pens/markers, hygiene-care items like toothpaste and mouthwash, two pencil bags, five cards, a polished rock, a welcome sign-thing, and several other things I can't recall off the top of my head (already packed them).

[livesareentertainmentjournal]

I don't really know what to say. It feels like the Twilight Zone.

First thing's first, I went to my counseling session, finished early, played with the tree caterpillars outside, finished the CVAC forms, grabbed the carpool money from the Save-On-Foods along with a "Happy Water" and Kinder Egg.

So, I get back and the staff in the office inform me "You got a surprise", to which I say "Uh-oh". Turns out my friend, who was angry, dropped off some apology and farewell gifts --and by "some", I mean a ton. Additionally, she ordered three pizzas and two soda bottles for the house, and I'm still winded. One thing I can say is, she definitely knows just how gay I am, pft.

If you're still reading this, thank you for the gifts and it shows a lot of character to be able to do this. You and your husband are great. < 3

[livesareentertainmentjournal]

I cleaned and packed late last night. Still stressing somewhat over this woman maybe-changing her mind at the last second, but that'll get me nowhere so mostly ignoring that nagging fear. Gonna see about pulling out money through the store after buying something, after my appointment to fill out the victim reimbursement papers and the counseling appointment. I might try spending this Tim Horton's gift card since I doubt I'll get the chance again.

Agh. I'm nervous about the transport to Spokane and really not looking forward to living at the airport for a couple nights. I'm gonna try to get an earlier fight, but, even then, my sister's friend will have to be willing/available to pick me up.

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If it's not one thing, it's another.

Massive headache trying to fix my grade and make sure the carpool shows and receives the desired money.