ROBOT

Moth ||he/him|| 20+ {this is just a lil blog to yap about my system a little bit without being like.. out about it}

[living-as-a-robot]

one of my alters is so lucky. ill be wanting to be sent home from work for weeks and never get the opportunity and then suddenly he will front and get sent home early or theyll ask him if he wants the day off before he even comes in like HELLO??? how did he do that

[knife-enby]

just realized there are so many people in real life who's only exposure to DID is bad media about it. like moon knight as the only vaguely-positive representation and then a bunch of serial killer movies. they've just never met a person with DID in real life or even online before. that's actually horrifying to me

[living-as-a-robot]

sometimes I feel like abandoning this blog :(

[living-as-a-robot]

its so funny having alters and especially any that roleplay bc they have their own little guys as well. like wade has so many ocs and he just likes playing dolls with them and I'm like whoa hes just a guy who loves his ocs

[living-as-a-robot]

eughhh I feel so bad :( I got mad at one of my alters for someone else misgendering us and he lowkey cried and I was just so fucking mean to him bc I was frustrated af. we were hanging out with my friends who have misgendered me a few times before but got a bit better about it and started using he/him more. My guy was fronting and he's nonbinary and prefers feminine titles (mom, woman, Mrs., etc) and so when we were deciding who was playing cards all the guys decided not to play so he somewhat jokingly said "I guess its just us ladies then!" so the entire rest of the night my friends started using she/her for me again and its just so frustrating. it wasnt his fault of course but I blamed him and I felt so badddd. he was on the phone with our gf and just randomly started tearing up and crying a bit bc he felt like i was mad at him 💔 like no pookie its not you im so sorry.

[living-as-a-robot]

also he texted the friend and was telling her he was going to cut our hair short (bc its super long) bc we kept getting misgendered to like. maybe get her to realize she was one of the people misgendering us and she just said "I get it" like girl no you dont. youve never even been around any trans people your entire life. she didnt even ask us questions about being trans when we came out she just acted bored and uninterested when we explained our feelings. AND when I was telling her that looking back realizing all the times I just kept wishing I was a man as a child maybe should have been an indicator she was like well everyone thinks that bc its easier to be a man 😭 like idk i dont think most people are willing to become men just bc its easier than being a woman????

[living-as-a-robot]

eughhh I feel so bad :( I got mad at one of my alters for someone else misgendering us and he lowkey cried and I was just so fucking mean to him bc I was frustrated af. we were hanging out with my friends who have misgendered me a few times before but got a bit better about it and started using he/him more. My guy was fronting and he's nonbinary and prefers feminine titles (mom, woman, Mrs., etc) and so when we were deciding who was playing cards all the guys decided not to play so he somewhat jokingly said "I guess its just us ladies then!" so the entire rest of the night my friends started using she/her for me again and its just so frustrating. it wasnt his fault of course but I blamed him and I felt so badddd. he was on the phone with our gf and just randomly started tearing up and crying a bit bc he felt like i was mad at him 💔 like no pookie its not you im so sorry.

[living-as-a-robot]

when youre dating a system do you ever get bothered by littles fronting? do you miss being romantic to your partner? do you ever worry about them fronting often and not getting to spend time in a romantic way with adult alters?

[living-as-a-robot]

DID is truly wild and there are things that people never even talk about with it. Like. what do you mean I feel like a creep because my alters kissed my gf and it didn't feel like me at all so my brain just makes me think I was being forced to come onto her therefore she was super uncomfortable. LIKE THAT WAS STILL ME??? And my gf wasn't uncomfortable at all by it, but i was so disconnected from it that i just felt like i was being totally slimey towards her

[living-as-a-robot]

I had to take the longest break because depression is rough and I couldnt think of things to say

[living-as-a-robot]

why is it so hard to make friends as a system. especially friends with other systems. maybe im just not meant to have friends

[living-as-a-robot]

oeuuuhhh I love when I cant tell if I actually have DID or if im just a silly little guy who feels split about everything

[insomniac-arrest]

I don’t put my mental disorders in my bio since as I writer I believe in the principle of SHOW don’t TELL. And boy do I go on this site every day and show.

[living-as-a-robot]

I hate feeling like im just not feeling enough half the time. like even when im upset its like all my emotions get poured into someone else's cup and im left with a couple of sips. I just want to feel big feelings like everyone else does even if it stresses me out instead of only feeling numb and depressed and worthless

[deadpoolycule]

little sketch of my Peter because I promised art eventually and im trying to force myself out of my comfort zone and actually post

[living-as-a-robot]

how does one make time for alters to have time with our friends or our girlfriend. my alters want time with them but im like. how do I give them time and make it fair. sometimes it just happens but I also want to give them a day or something but I dont really know how to make that work. and it stresses me out.

[living-as-a-robot]

I think making a discord server just for my alters was like the best decision I ever made bc we actually remember to use it and write shit down. its so helpful 100% recommend it

[living-as-a-robot]

about feeling nasty, our system uses the app "MyTherapy" to log when we brush our teeth, shower, drink water, eat and have medication! obviously it involves fronting alters bothering to log it but its good to keep track and get reminders :)

I will definitely get it bc I can literally never tell if we have done it or not. tysm anon ❤️