kavinsky being ronan's narrative foil. ronan who is riddled with self hatred, not knowing who or what he is, missing home, etc etc. kavinsky who is riddled with self hatred, but has accepted that. the only way he can deal with it is to hurdle forward. a car crash. the world is a dead thing to him, he is a dead thing too.
ronan "would you stop if you knew it was destroying the world" kavinsky "god that would be awesome"
he dies at the end of the story, but he was already dead in a metaphorical sense at the beginning. like antigone who stares at you and says she will die and you are complicit. kavinsky dies because he was fated to; he is the dark mirror ronan looks into, the person he couldve been if he hadnt, ultimately, made the terrifying and harrowing choice to like himself. to choose the world. ("it's just you. why do you hate you?" "i don't")
"life isnt just sex drugs and parties" "mine is".
kavinsky who stares death in the face with that riotous, hungry smile of his and dies in literal flames, by the hand of the creature he made out of all his anger and hatred. "ronan could feel it, how the creature hated him. hated kavinsky. hated the world". ronan and kavinsky who both make stalking figures out of their self-loathing, and only ronan escapes that pattern, like the albino terror tearing out of his dream.
the dragon has eyes of fire and brimstone, and under that, more fire, more brimstone. kavinsky who is dead over and over and over. born dead to a dead family, died when he killed his father, died in his dreams, died in the beginning when he knew himself dead in the end. "dying's just a boring side effect"
he is always described in terms of hunger. his concave chest, his ribs like roads, raised veins like the streets he races at night. a refugee's eyes. a hungry smile. they're all hungry, always, but his is a desolate, restless kind; the third horseman, Famine. "the creature had teeth, but those were irrelevant" because it's damnation itself. anger. loneliness. "you're either with or against me, ronan" "is that was you thought it would be? you and me? it was never going to be you and me" "with me or against me" ronan doesnt answer. "i'm going to fucking destroy you". he tries.
he killed his own father. he is alone in the world, and he saw ronan, and he saw himself in him, and he decided he wanted him.
"is that what you thought it would be?"
"you don't get it man. all i wanted was this" as he's watching their dreams clash and fight. all he wanted was this. seeking a punch because your body only knows that kind of touch. seeking the burn of acid and asphalt and searing tongues because that's all the warmth you think you deserve. once you eat too much salt everything is bland otherwise. so he pours the whole packet in, swims it it, it burns in his open wounds.
ronan calls him to shelter. kavinsky doesn't look back. "ronan thought of all of the times he had looked through the window of his bmw and seen kavinsky looking back" kavinsky doesn't look back. but he is, still, looking at ronan. looking at the dreams fighting in the sky. "it's you, why do you hate you?" "i don't" "it knew what ronan wanted. it wanted exactly what ronan wanted" and kavinsky is looking at the terror.
"is that what you thought it would be? it was never going to be you and me"
"the difference between kavinsky and us is we matter"
"it was never going to be you and me"
"the pair of white sunglasses lay in the dust besides ronan's toe. he didn't take them"
"it was never going to be you and me"