J'espere...

when you're a little girl, you hope for big castles and one prince charming. when you get a little bit older, you realize you're in a one bedroom apartment with the guy from your class that helped you with your homework and convinced you that he was worth keeping around. with your panties and exams in tow, you find yourself here and wondering how you got here in the first place. welcome home. now for the good stuff... this web diary, my beginnings, the domain where i lost my virginity to the worldwide web? fall in love

[wellreadblackgirl]

Caribbean Feminisms on the Page: Jamaica Kincaid and Tiphanie Yanique

“Distinguished writer Jamaica Kincaid, originally from Antigua, and debut novelist Tiphanie Yanique, who grew up in St. Thomas, come together with Barnard Associate Professor Kaiama L. Glover to discuss their experiences as women of color from the Caribbean, their thoughts on writing about the Caribbean region, and their engagement with gender and feminism in their writings.” 

[livingproverb]

Your Pool Party

[stillsingletho]

Its 4am. Im looking at the blaring red numbers on my alarm clock. Its 4am, and I am awake like I slept 12 hours. I have only been asleep for 3. Its 4am, exactly 4 months and 2 days after my 26th birthday that I rang in complete bliss. I thought life was perfect, but my soul knew it wasn’t. See,...

[cruelladatrille]

Never let anyone mispronounce your name

[fables-of-the-reconstruction-de]

I want in fact more of you. In my mind I am dressing you with light; I am wrapping you up in blankets of complete acceptance and then I give myself to you. I long for you; I who usually long without longing, as though I am unconscious and absorbed in neutrality and apathy, really, utterly long for every bit of you.

Franz Kafka, Letters To Milena (via thelonely-doll)

[silversora-deactivated20190324]

Allergies are weird as heck. You can snap a humans leg in half and they can recover but if you eat this peanut u dead

[yogi-air]

[gradientlair]

"Piñata," an incredible poem about rape and rape culture. Spoken by Pages Matam. I appreciate this passion and truth on literally the most painful thing for me to think about and literally the most excused, the most unreported violence, ever. This stand he took here? EVERYTHING. 

[screamingfemale-blog]

“It is illegal for women to go topless in most cities, yet you can buy a magazine of a woman without her top on at any 7-11 store. So, you can sell breasts, but you cannot wear breasts, in America.”

Violet Rose (via c-icatrix)

This is one of my favorite quotes about sexualization/objectification vs autonomy of female bodies bc it’s so succinct

(via platonicsbeforeerotics)

[livingproverb]

Tassika Lloyd wants you to join jobandtalent

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<!

[livingproverb]

No Girls Allowed?

In any interview what you don’t see is equally as important as what you do. What someone doesn’t reveal is as telling of their personality as the things that they actually do say so it didn’t take long to notice that there wasn’t a single woman amongst them. I know they have homegirls, I’m one of them so why doesn’t #TheCommittee have any females? I had to ask, not just for the sake of equality but because it makes sense. Any time it comes to planning an event, we all know guys tend to forget the small details. They’ll buy 40 steaks and forget to buy forks. They’ll host a house party and not stock up on toilet paper. Have you ever opened their fridge? Usually there’s four cartons of juice, Chinese food leftovers and a lonely packet of mayonnaise on the bottom. So when it comes to planning the biggest event of the summer, it would seem that NOT having a woman’s touch would actually hinder them. But before I said a word, I let them tell me why the exclusive boys clubhouse has an invisible sign up that reads “NO GIRLS ALLOWED." Was it intentional or just the cards they were dealt?

Why aren’t there any females on the committee?

@Irontopchef didn’t give me the time of day with that one. He did a spin move right out the paint and replied “Good question" and left it at that.

The most domesticated of them all, Mister Mac and Cheese even had a slick remark about the female absence on #TheCommittee. "Uh oh, here we go…Find me 21 females where EVERY ONE of them gets along. Don’t worry, I’ll wait…" -@bkflatbushrep

"Why don’t females work in the barbershops, IT fields, construction? It may happen one day but not right now." -@ROCKstar06 Apparently, he doesn’t realize that day has already come but nonetheless he exhibits signs of hope. After all, progress is a slow process.

Jake piqued my interest with his response. "Don’t you put that evil on a female." - @A_kidnamedjake (I read his comment in my Color Purple voice every time)

Reggie walked smooth out the paint behind @Irontopchef and laughed. "Good question but I honestly don’t even know. I have to get back to you on this." - @realtalkReg (guess what? He never got back to me)

"It’s not something that was done purposely. We all were so cool with other that we just decided to start something not knowing how big it could become." -@daworldisurs06

We’re just a group of guys that remained cool after college. We basically got together to throw a bbq the way we envisioned. Just how things happened. Nothing personal. -@DevKnows

So maybe they didn’t leave women out on purpose but Drew offered up a good point as well. Maybe having no women goes against the point that I made earlier - that they need us. "Well honestly the committee was kind of one big super group while we were in UAlbany. We are all close friends and we kind of thought of this idea on our own. We planned the first BBQ in 10 days so we kinda felt we didn’t need any new people outside of what we already have. There was only a few additions since. And even the new additions were part of our “crew" in Albany. Plus it’s a stereotype that men can’t organize things so we try to prove people wrong. There are some women that help behind the scenes however. - @Dhdapostman

Taking the politically correct route, O’Shane took a no harm, no foul stance. "Good question. I feel like this question was put in here to start trouble lol." Glad he noticed. “When we fist started planning there were no women involved. And we’ve kept the same committee since year on, with no additions no matter the gender." - @Oshanesego (Now Drew said there were a few additions and O’Shane said there were none. Let’s chalk that discrepancy up to the fact that #TheCommittee is one crew of people so it may be that some people just decided to officially put their name to the paper.)

True to his twitter name, @Seth_Smooth kept it smooth and replied “There really isn’t any particular reason that there aren’t any females on the committee. It honestly just happened to turn out that way. But we’re always looking to expand the dynamic committee by adding people from different fields, regardless of gender. :-) (I swear, he added the smiley face himself)

Just as I thought there was a little faith in the female population, Octavious snapped me back to reality while sharing his true thoughts. "We all come from different cliques or “circles," but yet we still mesh as if we grew up together. Emotions rarely come into play when making decisions. We think thoroughly and fully, then execute. Women….Ehhh…" -@Octavious_W

I should have never given them the option to answer what they wanted because @DjSunkiss used it and skipped right over it. Cute.

"We are simply composed of 21 guys that were cool while in school and remain cool as alumni. Show me a group of females, that large that can say the same." -@Callm3Q (Ladies, that sounds like a challenge to me. Will you step up to the plate and prove him wrong?)

"Well when we first did this, it was probably because, women are more detailed. We probably felt like it was gonna be more of a hassle. We do have women that partake but no women on the actual committee. To have women on the committee won’t do it any harm, it’s only going to make it better. Hopefully next year we can get some on the committee. I’m a fan of it, always have been." -@Kingvon86 (There’s hope after all ladies.)

"The committee was formed pretty fast prior to the first UA BBQ. It wasn’t a planned idea to only have an all-male committee. It’s just something that happened. We have discussed binging females aboard for future events. In talks at the moment but we will see where it goes." - @Kensofreco

Ruben (clearly the Class Clown of #theCommittee) takes the cake for funniest response yet again with the following: “This question is funny. A female would not survive in our group chat. The way we joke around, plain and simple, period. I know it is politically incorrect. But we are not sensitive people. We make a joke out of anything. The way up on the wrong side of the bed or with their period, I’m pretty sure one of us will ruin her day by saying something retarded. Have we considered it? Yes. But we go off topic so many times and the shit we say is the type of conversation you have on a guy’s night out." -@urstru1yrnb

The Ghanian gawd, more commonly known as @mboysteph was a perfect example of why @djsunkiss described #theCommittee as trill when he replied “DEADFACE….I REALLY TYPED THIS WITH THE DEADFACE THOUGH….ANNOYING."

@Kalvin_klein made it quite known that he’s ok with girls just throwing water on him and watching him glisten in the sun instead of being on the committee with his reply. Quote him —> (,-_-,)

Never skipping a beat, the International Kougar Hunter completely unaware of @Kalvin_Klein’s response replied the same thing abundance. @Katalyst_9 wrote:

(,-_-,)(,-_-,)(,-_-,)(,-_-,)(,-_-,)(,-_-,)(,-_-,)

But on a more serious note, @jadcity closed the question out with great appreciation for women, even if they are not officially committee members. "To tell you the truth, I don’t know why there are no females on the committee. But behind the scenes, we have a lot of females (friends or significant others) that just want to support and participate #forthelove. Some cook food, help with transportation of materials, clean and prep meats the night before. Without that, I don’t know where we would be."

We can be cheesy and say, behind every great man there’s a great woman but we can’t deny that each of them have a point. I haven’t seen a group of 21 females pull something like this off. This doesn’t mean I think it’s impossible but until it happens, we’ll end off with this, "Behind every great man, there’s a great woman. Behind every great woman, there’s envy."

[livingproverb]

1000 RSVPs...WHY?

Some amazing pictures were captured from the previous BBQs like the one above. But this year, with over 1000 RSVPs, this picture will nearly triple in volume. I wondered if the highly anticipated Mac and Cheese made by @BkFlatbushRep is that good but @Oshanesego thinks there’s an even better reason that the #UABBQ has such a social attraction.

"While the mac and cheese is damn good, I believe the growth of this event is in direct proportion to the increasing need of people to interact with people like themselves. While most of us from #UAThen are growing busier, we cut out certain activities and events. However, the BBQ has become a staple event on our calendars and our summers. As we continue to reconnect with those that we haven’t seen since last year and welcome the new faces of #UANow. This open-armed welcome is a critical success factor in the growth of this event."

Is he correct? Has your career, relationships and other responsibilities kept you out of the mix for most of the year? If it has and you’re anything like the hardworking Operations Manager AND Realtor, then take O’Shane’s advice and a day off to be around people just like you.

Keep reading for direct quotes

I think the anticipation but that mac and cheese…Have you had it? @BkFlatbushRep makes AWESOME MAC AND CHEESE. But everyone wants to be apart of something. The UABBQ has become that something from people bringing food, napkins or even help clean up, just to say they helped out and played a part. -@ROCKstar06

I think people see how open we are. UA as a campus was very welcoming. When people came to visit, we didn’t care what school you went to or where you were from. Since you were on our campus, you were one of us and we wanted to make people feel that way - @JADcity

I would base this on the humble beginnings of the BBQ. We planned the 1st UA BBQ 12 days before the actual event and encouraged people of all walks of life to come out from the college crowd, NYC crowd, trendy crowd, the professional crowd, Greek crowd, etc. It’s only called the UA BBQ because the members of “The Committee" were brought together because of SUNY Albany (UA) but it’s way bigger than that. - @A_kidnamedJake

#TheCommittee is made up of really trill guys. I mean guys with so many dimensions. So our popularity at UA and as well as in NYC together, provided us with a strong following. Lastly, we stick to our script “for the love," free .99 as you might say. We don’t charge for anything - Food or beverages. All we ask is to bring the trill and leave the drama at home. -@Kensofreco

I think people come to this event because they know they are guaranteed to have a good time. The crowd at this BBQ is usually college educated and not a “hood" event. The environment is great, it’s free and we have plenty of food. Actually I think that mac and cheese might actually play a small part in the growth of the BBQ - @dhapostman

There’s really nothing like it. A place, a day, an event where alumni, current undergrads and young professional can go to and have a great time in a great environment. It’s a class reunion, just every year where you catch up with people that you really thought you would never see again and the UABBQ keeps the bridges in tact. - @Callm3Q

Honestly, the first year it was an idea, a couple of people sitting in a room and on Gchat. We threw it together, it was cool and we decided to make it annual. The reason why the turn up is so crazy is because we put it on Twitter right after and it got around to other schools, SUNY schools in the city specifically and everybody jumped on it. But ours was the most successful. It IS the most successful and the others are just not as fun. We had our DJ and more people. We took a picture from up top and it was crazy. It was just more successful. - @KingVon86 (Shots fired?)

This BBQ has grown to become an event that is highly anticipated because of the massive turnout. The traffic on Twitter the day of the event and after the event is unmatched because of the amount of people that show up. Social networks, specifically Twitter has allowed this event to be covered from infinite viewpoints. If you’re on Twitter and somehow in the vast urban community/network, this BBQ is a no brainer. Where else can you physically meet all of your Twitter followers in one centralized location? - @Octavious_W

Word of mouth really. What’s unique about our group is that we are all cool with each other and everyone is cool with us. - @Daworldisurs06

We have the turn out that we do because we have the circle of complete and unique individuals on the committee that are versatile and appeal to all crowds. Our committee is composed of different types of people from different crowds and trends- @Seth_Smooth

It’s an event where everyone can come to carefree and just wild out and have fun like you’re 18 again. No room for hollywood, just sophisticated ratchetness. - @Kalvin_Klein

For a couple of hours in that park in Harlem, you feel like you’re on vacation. Almost like that feeling you get when you’re getting off the plane. This could easily become the new Mardi Gras, the new Woodstock, it’s the next big event that in a couple of years if done successfully over and over. The event caters to everybody, we make sure everybody is having fun. Who doesn’t like drinking outdoors, talking to beautiful females and eating BBQ food with good music playing? Tell me who doesn’t. If you don’t your life sucks and you need new friends. - @urstru1yrnb

Being a part of this from the beginning, people will come and go but it takes on a life of its own. -@IronTopChef

It’s definitely not the Mac and Cheese but some would beg to differ and I won’t argue with them either. It was pretty damn good last year lol. Nah, but this being my first year on the committee, I’d have to honestly say it has a lot to do with the actual members on the committee. Each member brings something different to the table and with them comes a good variety of people who interact well. These things making it such a successful event that continues to grow yearly from word of mouth. -@Realtalkreg

Honestly, I think people always liked visiting SUNY Albany since it was a big time party school and not too far from the city. Kind of like hub for fun seekers - @devknows

I think that it’s just an event full of love and the fact that a majority of the people either know or know of each other, pulls people closer - @Djsunkiss

UA welcomes all…This BBQ is one of the only BBQs that has FOOD and probably the last popping event that is “FOR THE LOVE" = Free - @mboysteph

After all those educated guesses as to why people would want to come to the BBQ @BKFlatbushRep still thinks it’s his MAC and Cheese. If you’ve had it before, can you blame him?

See you there!

[livingproverb]

#TheCommittee In One Word

Photo taken from @callm3q on Instagram.  Search #UABBQ for more fun flicks.  All members of #TheCommittee NOT pictured.

I asked the guys to describe themselves in one word.  Here's what they came up with!

@Kensofresco said it was "impossible to describe us all in one word" but apparently, there's a few words that capture the essence of 21 men planning the biggest BBQ in NEW YORK CITY!  Keep reading.

Turn up is two words so unity or consistency. -@KingVon86

Winners - @DevKnows

Rare - @CallM3Q

Educated - @BkFlatbushRep

Diverse - @IronTopChef

UATHEN - @ROCKstar1906

Dangerous - @JadCity

Visionaries - @A_kidnamedJake

Unstoppable - @RealTalkReg

Success - @Daworldisurs06

Versatile - @DhaPostman

Eclectic - @Oshanesego

Original - @Seth_Smooth

Leaders - @Octavious_W

While those are all great descriptions of #TheCommittee and since working with them, I can confirm for the inquiring minds, EACH ONE IS TRUE. I still decided to save the best answer for last.  Ruben known as @UrsTru1yRNB had a little bit of fun with that question.  After a detailed explanation and a few laughs, find out what the one word Ruben feels describes them all.

"So many words to describe the committee, too many characters.  Everybody is really different but funny at the same time.  But damn we are so petty and we don't care.  That's hilarious.  We like being assholes for no reason, just cause we enjoy it.  Dead ass laughing as I write this.  But I think that's what makes the committee work.  We are like those kids in first grade that throw spitballs at the blackboard in school and blame the ugly kid for it.  So I think PETTY."

So there you have it folks.  Degrees, ambition, visions and amazing mac and cheese doesn't take away from one's ability to be petty.  Go ahead and blame the ugly kid, unless you are the ugly kid because then #TheCommittee's blaming you. 

#fortheLove

[livingproverb]

#TheCommittee

Recently, I was honored to interview the 21 men responsible for hosting what seems to be the most anticipated event of the summer.  Over 1000 guests will enjoy free food, music and libations from #TheCommittee.  The #UABBQ as it's called is hosted by University at Albany alum to reunite their fellow Albany students as well as neighboring university friends and family.  And no, you don't have to have a college degree to celebrate.  EVERYONE IS INVITED.  

On July 13, 2013, there'll be shirtless men, legendary Mac and Cheese, tunes from the one and only DJ Sunkiss, beautiful women in maxi dresses and most importantly LOVE.  It's all #FORTHELOVE and this week, I'll be revealing all the juicy details of their interviews right here so stay tuned and look out for tweets from

@Jadcity

@kensofreco

@a_kidnamedJake

@ROCKstar1906

@daworldisurs06

@IronTopChef

@Seth_Smooth

@mboysteph

@Callm3Q

@Katalyst_9

@Oshanesego

@Dhapostman

@RealtalkReg

@Bkflatbushrep

@Kingvon86

@Whobutmack

@Kalvin_Klein

@UrstrulyRnB

@Octavious_W

@DJSunkiss

@DevKnows

Search the hashtags #UABBQ or #TheCommittee as well to keep up to date.  There'll be plenty of surprises you don't want to miss!

[jasmineoolong]

[fuckyeavanity]

why doesn’t this have more notes?!?!

[livingproverb]

@jasfly makes a good point. as usual.

[flaw-liz-deactivated20150727]

by the time you get this letter…i might be doing better <3 

[africanfashion]

For those of you who criticize Janelle’s signature monochromatic look.

From her speech on “Black Girls Rock”:

“When I started my music career, I was a maid. I used to clean houses. My mother was a proud janitor. My stepfather, who raised me like his very own, worked at the post office and my father was a trashman. They all wore uniforms and that’s why I stand here today, in my black and white, and I wear my uniform to honor them.

This is a reminder that I have work to do. I have people to uplift. I have people to inspire. And today, I wear my uniform proudly as a Cover Girl. I want to be clear, young girls, I didn’t have to change who I was to become a Cover Girl. I didn’t have to become perfect because I’ve learned throughout my journey that perfection is the enemy of greatness.

Embrace what makes you unique, even if it makes others uncomfortable.” - Janelle Monáe

[livingproverb]