Shared Soul (Ben Solo x Rey)
Hello and welcome to my little post TROS fix-it-fic (because, really, they can´t be serious with that ending)
So what is it about? Tbh ... I havn´t worked out the whole storyline yet, only a few major plot points. I´ll make up the rest as I go ;)
A LOT of reylo (so if you don´t like this ship, this story is probably not for you)
exploring of the dyad storyline (because they really neglected that in TROS)
Hux´s trails (yes, he is still alive)
Ben and Hux trying to get along now that they are both part of the resistance ... and really, what other option do they have? ;)
Gingerrose ... because that´s a ship I really wasn´t expecting to find so interesting ;)
and ... to add some (more!) drama, excitement and to raise the stakes... there´ll be a new thread to the dyad
Also a healthy sprinkle of drama, heartache, romance, eventual smut
I hope you like what I came up with for the prologue. Feel free to comment, like and re-blog.
The hand that came up from the gaping chasm that split the floor of the citadel was bloodied and bruised. A man, clad in black, heaved himself up. His body ached from exhaustion and countless injuries and his breathing was heavy and labored. His eyes that seemed even darker than usual in the pale bluish light roamed the collapsed ruins of the destroyed Sith temple, searching desperately for another sign of life, for her.
When he saw the motionless figure that lay crumpled on the floor, his heart squeezed in pain. A raging agony exploded inside of him that had nothing to do with the injuries he´d sustained in their desperate fight against the Emperor.
With his last ounce of strength, Ben Solo heaved himself up from the chasm and onto unsteady feet.
Around him, utter chaos reigned. The massive columns and stands that had surrounded the sinister throne room like an arena only minutes ago, lay in waste, the dome now almost entirely gone and open to the skies.
Above him, the fight was still raging. Blue, red and green laser blasts and the orange and yellow of massive explosions tinted the black night sky in colorful lights that stood in stark contrast to the reality of what was happening. People fighting each other. Killing each other for what they believed was right. For what he, too, had once thought was right.
But that didn't matter anymore. Any of it. Not the war. Not the Resistance. And especially not the First Order.
Ben Solo didn´t see any of it, as he staggered through the ruins of the shattered Sith temple towards the woman he loved.
All that mattered now was Rey.
He stumbled and fell to his knees but barely registered the pain that shot through his body, his eyes only set on the limp and lifeless form of the young woman lying still and motionless on the ground in front of him.
No, no, no… this couldn´t be happening! Not after everything!
Dragging himself forward on his hands and knees, Ben Solo collapsed next to her and pulled her into his arms. There was no breathing in her limp body, her eyes were wide open but unseeing, her face was a mask and devoid of any of the emotions she usually so freely shared with the world.
Something inside of him broke apart and died right there with her. And something else … something Ben hadn´t felt… hadn´t allowed himself to feel in what felt like an eternity … broke free.
A silent sob rose in his chest, burned the remnants of his soul to the ground until there was nothing left, but the memories of what used to be and the visions of a future that now could never be. Frantically, he looked around, as if some foolish, desperate part of him still hoped that there was someone around who could help him.
He'd waited too long to make the choice he knew he had to make, afraid he was too weak. And now it was too late. Now he´d lost her – the light to his darkness.
He clutched her to his chest, cradling her gently in his arms and rocking her lifeless body like one would a small child after a nightmare. This was his nightmare, Ben Solo thought, and finally allowed his tears to fall freely, blurring his vision, blinding him to the things around him. But he didn´t care. His world lay shattered in his arms. Sobs racked his body, but he held her close, not willing to let go of the one thing that had brought balance to his life after all these years of darkness, the missing piece of his soul.
He hadn´t known it back on Takodana. He´d suspected it when she´d reached out for him on Ahch-To. He was certain after their fight on the bridge of The Supremacy. After he´d killed Snoke and offered her his hand. They were one. A dyad in the Force. Two that were bonded as one. A power over life itself.
It was nothing more than a silent whisper. A disembodied voice in the Force called his name, like a breath of air washing over his skin.
A spark. A spark of light in the darkness. He could see it reaching out for him in the Force.
Ignoring the numbing pain of his soul, Ben Solo closed his eyes. Looking. Feeling. Searching for her presence. Hoping beyond hope and reaching out for her in the Force.
His breath caught in his throat. There! He could still feel her, a weak spark in the darkness, barely there anymore and fading away with every passing second. A piece of her soul that clung to his, when it couldn´t cling to her own body anymore.
There was still hope. He was going to bring her back. He was going to save her, even if he had to defy all the stars, the foundations of the universe, the laws of life itself. He was one part of the dyad, she was part of his soul and he of hers. He would bring her back … even if it meant he had to sacrifice himself so that she could life … and make amends for all the things he did when he was shrouded in darkness. He would bring her back. The woman he loved, who´d never given up the fight for his soul, was not lost to him.
She was worth his life. And more.
With a smile, Ben Solo put his hand to her chest, took a deep steadying breath, and began to pour his life force into the limp body in his arms. There was barely anything left after Palpatine had drained them both.
She was somewhere beyond space, beyond time. Disembodied and disconnected from … everything, traveling through nothingness and slowly fading to eternity. Nothing more than piece of a soul floating in the in-between. Was that how death felt like? It was peaceful. Painless. Quiet.
She was … happy … and relieved that the war was most likely over, that her friends were safe now from the First Order and the influence of the Emperor … her grandfather.
She was a Palpatine. The blood of the darkest of Sith Lords that ever lived flowed through her veins.
But that didn´t matter anymore. The Palpatine bloodline would end with her. She´d defeated him. And now she was dying, too.
She felt almost … peaceful.
But there was something else … no … someone else.
A twinge of sadness surged through her, and the unmistakable feeling of loss invaded her senses. If this incorporeal state she was in had a body, she knew her heart would squeeze, and her eyes would sting with tears. She´d won so much, yes, saved so many. But she´d lost him and the future she´d glimpsed of them whenever she´d looked through the cracks of his mask.
For a second, that stretched into eternity, she wondered if all that she had given was really worth losing him.
In the end, Ben Solo had stood beside her and fought with her against the darkness.
Two as one, a dyad in the Force.
Somewhere … deep inside of her … she'd always known. Known that the belonging she´d so desperately searched for on Jakku and then on Ahch-To had waited in front of her all along. With Ben Solo. She could still remember Maz´s words: Whoever you are waiting for … they´re not coming back. But … there´s someone who still could.
Now it was her who wouldn't come back.
The weight of this loss rippled through her peaceful and disembodied state like a stone breaking the waveless surface of a still lake.
She´d given so much, and in the end, she´d still lost him. Where was the balance in that?
After everything … he deserved as much.
A voice … disembodied like herself … called her name … reached out for her …
She didn´t recognize it, but something about it … about him … felt familiar. She knew him once … many years ago.
A second voice … this one female … joined the first one. She didn´t know her either, but her presence felt somehow familiar, too. A feeling of longing, of waiting and hoping for a return that would never come filled her soul. And suddenly she knew.
Rey … we are so proud of you … her mother´s voice whispered.
You did what I could not … her father´s voice admitted.
I missed you so much! Don´t worry, we´ll be together soon, she thought.
But Rey … this is not your time … you have to go back …
Back? Back to where? No! I can´t! I want to be with you.
And you will be! One day.
But now … your friends … the galaxy …
They are safe! I killed the Sith Lord, I killed Palpatine.
There is a darkness … her mother´s voice whispered.
A darkness rising in the Force …
Something evil … that´ll destroy the balance between light and darkness …
A darkness … that´ll destroy the dyad …
You have to face it … Rey …
What? But how? No, this can´t be true. I gave everything. And I lost everything. It has to be enough.
Go back … Rey … it´s not your time yet … your path lies still ahead of you!
He can´t do it alone, Rey … He can´t do it without you… Go back to him…
Find it, Rey! Find it and destroy the darkness.
Find it! It´s the only way.
She wanted to scream, but the voices of her parents were slowly fading.
Find what? How? No … wait … don´t go …
Trust your connection within the dyad.
Then she was alone again, floating aimlessly through nothingness, fading, disconnected, weak, with nothing but silence surrounding her for what felt like another eternity until she started to believe that her parent´s voices had been nothing more than a trick of her imagination. Turn back? Even if she could, she didn´t know how. There was no strength left in her. No way for her broken piece of soul to find it´s way back.
Suddenly there was a shift in the Force.
Not faint and gentle, like the voices of her parents. But like an earthquake breaking through the layers of nothingness surrounding her.
When he called her name, the spark that was left of her soul ignited into a million burning flames, tinting the nothingness of the in-between, she was trapped in, in the light of a million blazing stars.
His presence in the Force reached out for her, and she gave in to the pull that drew her to him like a magnet to its opposite.
And when the dyad in the Force touched, the darkness faded.
It was the first conscious thought that trickled back into her mind when Rey came to. She lay on the cold hard ground, and behind her closed eyelids, she could see the flickering lights of explosions and colors above her. Was the battle still raging? Was she still in the citadel on Exegol?
She wasn't alone. Someone was holding her. Ben. He pressed his hand to her chest. It was warm, and she could feel his raw, desperate life force trickling from his fingers into her skin. Her weakened body clung to it like someone dying of thirst to the first drop of water. With every passing moment, she felt stronger, the Force sparking to life in her again … while his own was fading away.
Rey´s thoughts were still muddled, her body weak. But she realized with a start what he was doing. And what it would mean for him in the end. He was sacrificing himself to bring her back to life. She could barely feel his presence anymore.
Rey´s eyes flew open, and she grabbed Ben´s hand, instantly breaking their connection. “Ben … no!” She almost passed out again, when the energy that had brought her back suddenly ceased. But she forced herself to stay conscious. “Don´t … do … that … please …” Her words came out in a desperate plea. “It´ll kill you.”
“I .. I know … .” Ben put his hand to her chest again, but she pushed against his Force, closing herself off to him. “Rey … I want you to live… please.”
“I will.” She said with more conviction than she felt, clinging with all her might to the life force he´d given her. It was only a spark. But it would have to be enough. If he gave her any more, she´d lose him again and this time forever. She laced her fingers through his, taking the hand he´d offered to her twice before. Ben´s hand. “You have to live, too. We are a dyad in the Force, remember? Two sides of the same.” His hand was cold and shaking, his breathing heavy and labored from something that went far deeper than pure exhaustion. She felt it, too. He´d brought her back, almost giving his own life. But she hadn´t allowed him to give her everything. Now they both lived, but they were neither here nor there, too weak to do anything more than simply … exist.
Ben only looked at her, a ray of emotions crossing his face. Relief. Exhaustion. Happiness. Puzzlement. And even something that Rey decided to read as amusement.
His face was bruised and cacked in mud, sweat and blood. His dark hair was matted to his face and his shirt was torn in all places. She probably didn´t look any better. Worse even, if her aching body was any indication. But it was his eyes that struck her. The last time she´d seen them, they had been haunted by grief, by loneliness, desperation, and all the other emotions he´d tried to hide from her behind his mask. Now all of that was gone, and the eyes of Ben Solo were gazing into hers.
And though Rey knew that a part of him would always feel a pull to the Dark Side – the same way she felt that pull in herself – she knew that Kylo Ren was dead.
Despite her aching body, Rey sat up slowly, her eyes roaming his face, drinking in every little detail of him. The tears in his eyes. The bruises on his cheekbone and lower lip. But most of all, the now unblemished skin that once had been marred by a scar. A scar she´d left him with, in what felt like another lifetime. “Ben?” she whispered and felt a smile tuck at the corners of her mouth.
His red-rimmed eyes blinked away tears as her hand came up to touch his face. “Say it again. My name…”
He smiled that wide Solo-smile, and she was mesmerized by how carefree his face looked, if it wasn´t marred by the pain that had threatened to tear him apart for so many years.
Rey wanted to say his name again and again as if it was the only thing that anchored her weakened soul to this world, and in a way, he was precisely that.
But before she could repeat it once more, he pulled her close, crushing his lips to hers in a devouring kiss. She responded with the same desperation, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and melting into his body. He wasn´t gentle, but she wasn´t either. His mouth roamed almost greedily over hers, and she responded in stride, digging her fingers into his soft hair. She parted her lips and felt him washing over them like a wave of warmth after an ice-cold snowstorm, melting every nerve ending in her body, curling her toes, lightening all her senses on fire as the taste of him almost silenced all her thoughts.
Afterward, they sat in silence for what felt like an eternity, her face pressed into his neck, his breathing heavy and strained in her ears. The noise of battle and explosions above them had finally ceased, the sky of Exegol no longer split wide open by bolts of lightning and darkened by the looming shadows of hundreds of Star Destroyers. Only once in a while, Rey heard the sound of spaceships crossing the skies.
Were they looking for her?
“Ben … we have to get out of here.”
But they both already knew the truth, that they were too weak to even make half the way back to Luke´s X-Wing. But they had to try.
Suppressing a groan, Ben struggled to his feet, then held out his hand to Rey to pull her up, too. She noticed that he winced in pain when he put weight on his left leg. But he tried to shrug it off with a weak smile, when he saw the worry in her eyes. “It is nothing … must have hurt myself when Palpatine threw me down that chasm.”
But Rey saw that he could barely support himself on his leg. “You never lied to me. Don´t start now, Ben Solo.” She chastised him, which earned her a low chuckle. “Come on, let me help you.”
She wrapped her arm around his waist, and he draped his over her shoulder, leaning into her heavily. Together they began to make their way through the maze of ruins, weaving through collapsed columns and crumbled walls, as all that was left of the ancient Sith temple lay in waste around them. By the time they reached what was left of the laboratory Ben´s weight grew heavier on her with every step they took, and soon Rey could barely support him anymore.
“Ben … ? Ben … you´ve got to help me with this.”
His breathing came in labored, shallow gasps as they struggled to take another step and then another. Then it stopped completely before his legs buckled under him and he collapsed to the ground, dragging Rey down with him.
“No! Ben!” Rey cried, barely recognizing her own voice contorted with fear.
With shaking hands and the last reserves of her strength, she rolled him onto his back, and gasped in fear. His skin was almost translucent, his cheeks looked hollow and his closed eyelids were bloodshot, standing in stark contrast to his pale skin. Cold sweat matted his dark hair to his forehead. His lips were slightly parted, but barely a breath escaped them.
“No … no … no … Ben … please. Don´t do this to me.” Rey choked, leaning over his lifeless body and cradling his face with her shaking fingers. “Ben … please …” She sobbed, her tears now falling freely onto his face. “… wake up … please …”
But she already knew he wouldn't. She could barely feel his presence in the Force anymore.
Angrily wiping her tears off her face with the back of her arm, Rey closed her eyes, reaching out into the Force and searching for another presence, hoping for anyone to hear her plea.
Angrily wiping her tears off her face with the back of her arm, Rey closed her eyes, reaching out into the Force and searching for another presence, hoping for anyone to hear her plea.
Then she collapsed onto his chest, and, with her mind already slipping into unconsciousness, she shared the rest of her life force with him.
