Can we talk about Kakashi for a second please?
I see the argument a lot about whom in Naruto had that saddest life and the votes often sway between Naruto, Gaara and Sasuke… But I want to talk about Kakashi and why I believe he had the saddest life in the series. Naruto, Gaara and Sasuke may have had terrible childhoods but Kakashi’s overall life was terrible.
- He lost his Mother probably before he could speak.
- He grew up with just his Father and admired the hell out of him.
- His Father chose death over him and left him alone in the world at the age of 5.
- He hides his face. The assumption being he wants to be taken seriously at such a young age and now he does not want people to be reminded of his Father when they look at him.
- Instead of playing with his friends after the Academy he was forced to fish for his dinner and cook for himself.
- He spent his afternoons and weekends cleaning his huge empty house.
- He spent years saying hello and goodbye to no one because he was lonely and couldn’t accept how alone he felt.
- He slept in his kitchen. My assumption being because he felt too alone in his bedroom. It reminded him of a life he did not have anymore. A childhood.
- He was rejected by the adults of the village and forced to be teamed with people beneath him as no one wanted to work with him. How lonely.
- All he knew was what happened to his Father and what had caused it. Of course he was going to be a stickler for the rules after that incident.
- Being a stickler for the rules caused him to make a decision that cost him one of his only friends. This decision quite literally haunts him for the rest of his life.
- After vowing to protect Rin she decides to commit suicide by running in to his charged Chidori. This causes him to have PTSD and nightmares long in to his adulthood.
- He begins reading “how a Shinobi should die” a nod towards the fact that Kakashi himself is thinking of committing suicide. After all what does he have to live for?
- He withdraws completely from any attention his classmates give him. He despises himself and does not believe he is worthy of affection of any kind.
- He begins to put up walls and keep people at arm’s length. If he doesn’t love anyone, he can’t be sad when they die.
- His Sensei, the one precious person he has left decides that to mend his broken heart he will be assigned to the ANBU.
- Kakashi’s only purpose in life at this point is to work for the Village. He lives for the mission but Minato assigns him to guard Kushina. This no doubt gives Kakashi lots of time to think and dwell on his past mistakes.
- Minato is killed and Kakashi finally loses his last precious person. He withdraws in to himself once again. Continuing to have nightmares and flashbacks without the emotional support he needs to get through them.
- Kakashi makes another friend, Tenzo. Tenzo is then assigned to kill Kakashi and take his Sharingan. Luckily for Kakashi this works out alright in the end and they remain friendly.
- Kakashi becomes the Captain of team Ro and begins to relax a little. He even goes so far as to tell Itachi Uchiha that he is there for him if he needs to talk.
- Itachi Uchiha betrays Konoha, killing his entire Clan and defecting from the Leaf.
- Kakashi puts his walls back up, annoyed at himself for letting them down for such a vile human.
- Fast forward to Kakashi being forcefully pulled out of the ANBU and taken away from everything he has known for the last 12ish years.
- He is forced to teach children and he feels as though his ANBU subordinates are laughing at him. “The Genin Babysitter.”
- He enforces strict rules for the Genin passing his test. These rules have come from Kakashi once again taking a bad life experience and making it a lesson. This time it works for him.
- He rejects several teams for not understanding his criteria. This causes the Village to gossip about him. He earns the reputation of being a hard-ass.
- When he eventually does pass a team he does not think much of them. He sees his old team in them and quietly vows to not repeat the past.
- We see Kakashi soften slightly as he teaches these children. He learns things about himself and actually starts to enjoy life a little bit for the first time probably since his Father passed.
- Kakashi is trapped inside Itachi’s Tsukuyomi and physically tortured for 3 days straight. When he is woken up/heeled by Tsunade instead of being asked if he is alright, he is mocked by her for not being smarter.
- Kakashi tries his hardest to prevent Sasuke from leaving the Village but his called away for an important mission. Something he cannot help or refuse.
- He is blamed for Sasuke leaving, most heavily by himself.
- His last 2 students then proceed to leave him as well to be trained by people more superior to him.
- He feels overwhelming responsibly for Sasuke’s defection and he feels guilt that he did not give Naruto and Sakura the attention they deserved.
- The Village expected too much of this emotionally stunted ex-ANBU. He had no experience with children and frankly, he didn’t want it. He was forced in to his roll and then ridiculed for his inevitable failure.
- This goes for the fandom as well. Kakashi did the best he could for Sakura considering his circumstances. He focused on Sasuke because he was desperately trying to prevent him from becoming the adult Kakashi already was. He knew that someone else was a better fit for Sakura and he was probably actually happy when Tsunade took over her training because he had no idea what to teach her himself. This does not mean that he didn’t feel guilt though for not trying harder. He is always harder on himself than anyone else ever could be.
- Fast forward to Shippuden. Kakashi is wounded on their first mission back and forced to stay in the hospital as his team is led by his Kohai. In his eyes, Yamato is taking his place.
- He can no longer train Naruto by himself and if forced to enlist Yamato’s help.
- Kakashi is killed in battle. He died honourably and will not doubt have his name engraved on the stone next to his friend’s.
- He manages to speak with his Father, telling him he forgives him for what he has done. My take on this interaction is that as Kakashi himself has considered suicide in the past he feels he finally understands his Father’s pain and why he did what he did.
- He is revived and wakes up once again in the hellhole he calls earth.
- He finds out after Itachi is killed what really happened with him and is not allowed to react or talk about it. He no doubt feels even more guilt for not realising what was happening and being there for his friend.
- Fast forward to the war when it turns out that the person Kakashi had been mourning for roughly a decade was not actually dead. He stands up in front of the entire Shinobi population and tells them that this war is essentially Kakashi’s fault for killing Rin. Something he did not mean to do and had no control over. Something he had been completely destroyed by since the second it happened.
- He manages to reconcile with Obito and then has to watch him die once again, bringing back all that pain tenfold.
- After the war is over he is then forced in to a position he did not want. The Hokage. He could not refuse such an honour, but we all know he did not want the job.
- Kakashi, a man that lives for the mission forced to sit behind a desk and do paperwork for the rest of his young life. By this point he has grown enough that he might actually consider letting someone behind his walls. A time of peace, where he might finally have the time and freedom to find himself a partner. But he spends it behind a desk and remains single until well in to his forties (perhaps until he dies). We will never know.
Did I forget any-fucking-thing??
Yes Naruto and Gaara had horrible childhoods. They were feared, hated, lonely and scared. But ultimately their lives all worked out for them. They grew up to become the village hero, married with Children. The Kazekage with a loving family, soon to be married. (I think?)
Sasuke is a different story and I will not go in to that on this post. But he chose his options and he is now lying in the bed he made. Regardless of how he went about it, he still has a devoted wife and child to come home to if he wants. While Kakashi is still alone to this day, working in a job he did not want for the sake of the Village. That is and always will be his life’s purpose regardless of how he feels internally.
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