Dorian sighed at the paper and watched Amelia walk away before abandoning the list on the edge of the desk. She sat down and distracted herself with the latest headlines on the local news websites. “What is taking them so long?” she muttered.
Around her, volunteers and employees went over charts, made phone calls, analyzed polls, and discussed strategy. Dorian frowned at her computer.
As if on queue, her cell phone chimed. Not thinking much of it, she picked up the phone, but it grasped her full attention when she read the text message from a number she did not recognize:
They know you did it.
She stared at the message curiously. Who were “they?” And what was “it?” She considered for a while, thinking through all her recent actions and darkest secrets before shrugging and answering.
Wrong number?
She set the phone aside but there was an immediate reply.
Dorian Lord.
Her brows knitted in concern and confusion. She glanced around the room at all the distractions and tried to discern who might be on their phone before she answered the text again.
Who is this?
She waited. There was no reply. She held her phone up and typed the unrecognized phone number into the Llannet search box on her computer. The only thing she could determine was that it was a number obtained from somewhere outside of Philadelphia.
Who knows what?
Dorian tried to ignore her phone by picking up Amelia’s list. She attempted to concentrate on it for five solid minutes before she gave up and stirred in her purse. She did not find what she was looking for.
She checked her phone again. Nothing.
Dorian grabbed her belongings and stepped away from her desk. “Let David know I’ll meet him in time for last-minute debate prep. I have some business I need to attend to.”
Their campaign secretary blinked up at Dorian and watched her disappear as she failed to reply in time. “But you just … got here….”
Viki was at home with Charlie when the doorbell rang. Charlie had been hoping for the phone to ring and did not like that someone was at the door. “Well, now, who could that be?”
“I’ll get it,” Viki insisted, concerned.
Charlie waited, hovering near the telephone until he saw Bo and Nora enter the foyer. “Any news?” he asked before he even offered a hello.
“We just wanted to stop by and check in,” Bo offered as an encouraging apology. “You know that if I hear anything before you do, you’ll be the first person I call.”
Nora hugged Viki. “Clint wanted to be here but he’s caught in a meeting at B.E. right now. He’ll call later.”
“How is Matthew?” Viki ushered them to the couch.
“Oh, you know … still as Buchanan as ever,” was Nora’s only explanation. “Are you two sure you’re alright? Working from home today?”
“Yes, we thought a quiet setting seemed more productive. We’re fine,” Viki assured.
Bo wasn’t certain. “It’s just we know you both have a lot on your mind right now, with the election and everything….”
“To be honest, Bo,” Viki admitted, “the election is the least of my concerns right now.”
Nora wondered with a smirk, “You mean Dorian is the least of your concerns right now?”
“That too,” Viki agreed. “Although she would prefer otherwise.”
“I don’t know, Viki.” Nora shook her head. “You know she’s been waiting for a perfect opportunity to hold her head up and strike.” She mimicked the movement of a snake with her hand and arm.
“Well, then, let her,” Viki insisted. “It won’t do her public image any favors.”
Charlie was helpless. He glanced at the phone and Bo caught him doing it.
“See, the thing is,” Bo offered, “that while she may be the least of your worries right now – and rightly so, rightly so,” he nodded, “she is also the one you can deal with.”
“What are you getting at, Bo?” Charlie wondered.
“The interim mayor is pretty much in a holding position until we get a new mayor in town hall. This is about the first time in years we’ve been able to do our jobs at the station without someone from the mayor’s office running interference. At the end of this election, I’m going to have a new boss, and it just remains to be seen what might happen in a situation like the one we’re facing right now, with Jared.”
Viki looked over at Charlie while he nodded his understanding. “Well, to be fair,” she offered, “I have to give Dorian some credit. I don’t think either one of us would interfere in an investigation like this one.”
“Ah, the key words,” Nora insisted. “'Like this one.’”
There was an awkward silence between the four as they each wondered over their own thoughts on the matter.
Bo spoke up again. “By the way, Viki – this is relevant to your interests. The hotline got an anonymous tip this morning … from someone who was insisting that we should investigate the current hospital chief of staff because they said he has or had close personal ties with the former mayor.”
Nora nodded with a funny all-knowing grin.
“Well, isn’t that convenient?” Charlie wondered.
“That’s true though,” Viki agreed. “In fact, now that I think about it, I’m surprised he managed to slip under all of our radars for so long, considering that prescriptions were a large part of the drug operation.”
“So this is a concern to you?” Bo asked with genuine interest.
“In fact, yes,” Viki nodded. She looked at Nora’s expression. “Why?”
“I listened to the call,” Bo admitted. “The anonymous caller had a very familiar voice.”
Viki slapped the top of her leg. “I knew it! I knew she was doing this. I was just telling Charlie -- the chief of staff position is why she even got involved in Lowell’s campaign to start with.”
“Because he was on the board?” Bo asked.
“Yes, and he wouldn’t vote for her becoming chief of staff due to his ties with the current one … which I’m sure involved campaign contributions … and since we’re on the subject, perhaps even drugs?”
They shared a collective sigh.
Viki paused. “Again, to be fair, that is exactly why I decided to run for mayor as well.”
“Because Dorian was supporting him?” Nora blinked.
“Oh, goodness no,” Viki shook her head. “In fact, we didn’t even find out she was his campaign manager until after the decision was made. But she did help me realize that someone had to at least try to defeat Lowell.”
“And she was the first to defend him. That’s rich.” Bo smirked. “But to her credit, she did get him to resign.”
“And how did she get him to do that?” Charlie wondered.
“Well, you know what?” Bo offered. “To me, that doesn’t matter as much as the end result. We’re finally going to have a new mayor.” He smiled at Viki. “And I’m able to do my job. Lowell’s behind bars….”
“…And Dorian’s a lesbian,” Nora grinned with glee as Viki rolled her eyes. “Speaking of … does David still wander in here from time to time?”
“Oh, yes he does,” Viki assured her. “Often. Usually on a mission.”
“A Dorian-commissioned mission?” Nora smirked. “Well, you know as well as I do that there is no way this lesbian thing is even - by the widest stretch of the imagination - genuine,” Nora stated.
“And yet,” Viki observed, “There really is no way to prove that or even insist upon it without aggravating the gay community – which, by the way, I still have somewhat solid support from.”
“The reason I ask about David,” Nora elaborated, “… Does he still have feelings for her?”
Viki smirked. “David’s sentimentality only goes so far as his libido, and yet, Dorian and David will always share a connection I don’t even want to start to contemplate.”
Bo nodded agreement.
“It’s sort-of tragic, you know?” Nora considered. “She divorced him – despite the fact that he was a Buchanan – presumably to be with Ray Montez. You remember how crazy she got after he left town.”
“How could I forget?” Viki half-shuddered, and half-smirked. “And that happened right before all of this mayor interest came up.”
“Then David comes back to town and gets caught up in this lesbian farce. She demotes him to make Amelia her campaign manager. You know this all has to be making him crazy.”
Bo was a bit uncomfortable with the conversation. “I’m sure it is.”
Viki was curious. “Where are you going with this, Nora?”
“Well, I mean … maybe you can’t prove Dorian isn’t a lesbian right now….”
“…But David can,” Viki knew.
“... And he listens to you, and good ol’ Pa here,” Nora nudged Bo’s arm as she teased him. “I can’t believe you’ve had this ace up your sleeve this whole time and it hasn’t occurred to you to use it.”
“Well, no offense to you, Nora, but I like to think I’m a bit bigger than that. Dorian plays in the mud and taunts me to get in with her, but I’d rather stand outside the ring and watch her make a ridiculous mess of herself for no reason. Case in point -- the LGLA.”
“On the other hand,” Bo thought it out for them with startling reality, “While I would never presume that Viki doesn’t have a leg up in this election, we have Dorian on the other side with a pretty fair shot to be our next mayor – and under what we all assume to be a false pretense. You wouldn’t exactly have to get in the mud for her to look dirty all on her own.”
“You’re encouraging this, Bo?” Viki gasped.
“I’m just saying … there would be nothing dishonest about reminding David and Dorian of their deep-seated feelings for each other.”
“I take it you’re not voting for Dorian then?” Charlie asked Bo, half-joking, and they all shared a chuckle over it.
“Well, you’re right,” Viki acquiesced. “There would be nothing dishonest about it. I just can’t help feeling a bit guilty at the thought that Dorian can be so easily manipulated. For goodness sakes, she had a fit over The Banner publishing an article about Jared.”
“What does that have to do with anything?” Bo asked.
“It’s a … conflict of interests,” Charlie explained. “She was spouting some nonsense about media bias.”
Nora snapped her fingers. “And that’s why she wanted to remain anonymous on the tip hotline.”
Charlie couldn’t help his own observations. “I just wish someone had a tip about Jared.”
“It’ll happen soon,” Bo assured him. “This whole chain of events has unraveled so fast….”
Charlie nodded. They sat in respectful silence for a moment.
Viki changed the subject, hoping to ease Charlie’s mind again. “You remember what Dorian said at her initial press conference?”
“You mean when she hijacked the mic after Bo’s press conference?” Charlie clarified.
Viki smirked. “She said, ‘I will never betray your trust … and I will always uphold your faith in American democracy.’ The sad thing is that she meant every word of that at the time.”
“And then the LGLA knocked on your door instead of hers,” Charlie observed.
Viki looked to Bo. She knew he understood what she was getting at.
He nodded and muttered, “Easily manipulated.”
“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Viki asked him.
“Do you want to lock the election?” Bo answered.
“I have a confession,” Nora smirked. She leaned forward as they looked at her. “I ordered a couple of wedding pictures I will never hang on my wall. I keep them tucked away just to remind myself of what an ass Dorian made of herself that day.”
Viki was stunned. “You ordered wedding pictures of Dorian?”
“Granted, at the time it was not cool,” Nora clarified, motioning with one hand, “But now when I look back I’m a little amused by it. First of all, she did it to herself. Second, imagine if she knew I had those pictures.”
Bo was calm as he asked, “You weren’t thinking of feeding those pictures to the press?”
Nora straightened her face into innocence and looked to each of them in turn. Her tone revealed that she was not sincere when she told them, “The thought hadn’t even occurred to me.”
Viki couldn’t help but grin in amusement. Nora was entertaining. She elected to not respond one way or the other on the matter of the wedding pictures.
Bo changed the subject again. “You know there’s something I never did get about that Ray Montez guy.” He met the curious gazes of those around him. “He was in prison, he tried to take Langston from Dorian. I mean, Dorian was mad enough at the guy she was ready to do away with him even when she knew Clint was behind his coming here, and in a way, she could have even blamed him for her losing B.E. back to the family. Dorian married David just to get the Buchanan name back – you remember?”
Nora and Viki shared a look. “How could we forget?”
“You know – at least at the time – that was one of Dorian’s top priorities. She even went Buddhist over the whole thing.”
“Yeah. Right,” Viki smirked.
“But then,” Bo elaborated, “She’s going out on a date with Ray Montez? And after he leaves, does she get back with David? No. What the heck happened?”
“She realized she was a lesbian,” Nora joked.
“I don’t know,” Viki offered, “But if there is one thing I’ve learned over the years as far as Dorian is concerned, it is that if it doesn’t make sense, she’s probably up to something.”
Viki looked over at Charlie, who seemed as concerned about what Dorian was up to as he did about Jared. That was wrong. She winked at him as she laced her fingers through his and squeezed his hand.
Bo nodded. “Well, we have more important things to figure out than Dorian’s machinations at the moment. And we will,” he promised Charlie.
Viki looked at Nora. She thought of asking her to leave the wedding pictures alone but decided to keep her attention on Charlie for the moment.
9. Exes and Employees
10. Be Straight
11. Cameras
Nobody Knows (Music Video)
12. No More Babies
13. We Know Better
The One Remaining (Video)
14. Between the Lines
Turning Tables (Music Video)
15. Invaluable
Ain’t No Sunshine (Video)
16. Plans and Agendas
17. Conflict of Interests
Dorian Lord - Keeps Getting Better (Music Video)
"Where is Dorian?" Amelia looked around at the volunteers moving from desk to desk, table to table, and phone to phone. No one answered or even seemed to notice she had asked a question. She raised her voice. "Excuse me! Has anyone seen the candidate?"
"A-me-lee-ya," Dorian chimed from nearby as she entered the room, her purse slung over her forearm.
"Where have you been?" Amelia wondered. Her tone sounded desperate. "I wanted to go over your stances on right to choose and prison reform before your press conference."
"Oh, I'll be fine," Dorian waved her off. "I know where I stand and I'm not afraid to say it."
"All the same," Amelia frowned. "A word here, a word there. We could go over how to segue from one subject to the next."
"Amelia." Dorian paused for direct, eye-to-eye contact. "I've got it. You're just panicked because you won't be there. Besides, David is a genius with the media. Don't worry about it." She smiled and spun to drop her purse on her own desk and slip out of her jacket.
Amelia took a moment to absorb Dorian's upbeat confidence but still wondered. "What are you up to?"
"Jared Banks is missing." Dorian lifted an eyebrow at Amelia. It wasn't that she was unsympathetic to the plight that the Buchanans and Viki were facing, but at this point in time their tribulations were relevant to her interests and future plans.
"Yes and that's terrible," Amelia offered. "Do they think something happened to him, or did he just take off?"
"Oh, knowing Jared he is just out…." Dorian shook her head and spun her hand in the air as she left the end of her sentence hanging. "Despite his apparent rehabilitation at the hands of one Natalie Buchanan, Jared is a con man. If you ask me, he's gotten himself mixed up in some nonsense and now he is trying to fix it."
"Hmm," Amelia thought. "Seems you know this situation pretty well."
Dorian peered at her. Was Amelia teasing her, or was that a relevant observation? "I heard through the media grapevine that 'Charlie' is going to write an article about Jared, and Viki is going to run it on the front page of The Banner."
Now it was Amelia who lifted a brow at Dorian. She said nothing. She knew there was more to Dorian's story.
Dorian looked at Amelia as if expecting her to finish the line of thought. When she didn't, Dorian continued. "Viki? Who has supposedly taken a leave of absence from the paper since it is a conflict of interests with her running for mayor?" She seemed annoyed by it.
"Tell me you didn't…."
"So I reminded her of that…."
"Dorian!" Amelia was both concerned and a bit scolding. "Their family is going through a crisis and if anyone gets wind of you prodding her about that, you're going to seem…."
Dorian almost prided herself on it – almost. "Like an evil bitch? Listen, it isn't that I can't identify with having a loved one missing, but we're in the middle of a cam-paign here and if she can't handle it in a professional manner, she needs to step out of the way. When Starr and Hope were kidnapped and I resigned as Lowell's campaign manager, did I do anything that seemed biased?"
Amelia wasn't sure. She still had not put her finger on how Dorian had gotten Lowell to resign. "Nothing that seemed biased, no."
Dorian wondered why Amelia had answered in such a specific way. "Well, there's my point." She straightened the framed family photos and neatened the stacks of documents on the desk.
Amelia smiled in sincere amusement. "Don't even try to tell me that if you owned a major newspaper and one of your girls was missing, you wouldn't use it to get them back, whether you were running for mayor or not."
Dorian was matter-of-fact. "That doesn't change the fact that she is the one doing it." Amelia was missing her point.
"So what did she say? When you reminded her of her conflict of interests?"
Dorian paused. Amelia waited. Dorian pouted. "She … well, she in her consistent state of righteous indignation decided to throw Stan Lowell in my face." The thought flustered her. "She said his being on the hospital board while serving as mayor could have been considered a conflict of interest in itself, and reminded me that I had started supporting him to get his vote for my being chief of staff – which, by the way, she was not even supposed to know about."
Amelia shook her head. Dorian was implying that Viki was the sneaky one. She knew a mild amount of Dorian and Viki Banks' history, but only knew enough to be more objective than Dorian. "This was just an exchange of words?"
"And then, she saw it fitting to dole out her personal ruling that I should not campaign to be chief of staff at the hospital while also campaigning to be mayor! I haven't done that, have I? I mean, please … give me some credit."
"She thinks you are going to try to be chief of staff at the hospital and mayor of Llanview at the same time?" Amelia asked. "That would be a conflict of interests."
"Oh, she knows that I know that," Dorian sneered. "She's just throwing it in my face because she thinks she's going to win the election and then even if I end up being chief of staff, she'll still have one up on me!"
Amelia blinked. She was a bit taken aback that Viki Banks could even behave in that way. Still, what Dorian was saying made sense. "Well, we'll just have to make sure that doesn't happen." She lifted a piece of paper off the desk and placed it in Dorian's hand. "Talking points. Be ready."
Dorian sighed at the paper and watched Amelia walk away before abandoning the list on the edge of the desk. She sat down and distracted herself with the latest headlines on the local news websites. "What is taking them so long?" she muttered.
The morning sun was breaking up the clouds as it rose and the smell of warm bagels, French toast, nutmeg, cinnamon, and coffee wafted from the kitchen. The house even sounded wonderful as Dorian listened to her girls chatter in the other room.
Starr came into the sitting room, looking for one of Hope's toys, and stopped dead.
"Aunt Dorian! What is all this?"
"Starr, honey, whatever you have planned for today, drop it. I have the most glorious news!"
Starr's eyes widened as she surveyed the room. It was filled with gifts – a bouquet of flowers, a large cluster of helium balloons, what appeared to be a pastry or cake box tied in ribbon with a large bow, and a couple of gift baskets filled with goodies. "Is it someone's birthday that I forgot about?"
"No, Starr!" Dorian grinned, ear to ear. "Shaun is being released from the hospital today. I took the liberty of getting him gifts from each of us. Which would you like to give him? A gift basket? Champagne? Or maybe the cookies?"
Starr smiled back, happy to hear the good news. "Omigod! That's great, Aunt Dorian!" She paused to give Dorian a sideways glance. "… But … do you think you might be overdoing it?"
Dorian hesitated in the middle of fluffing a bow. "Overdoing it? For a man that risked his life to save my girls? How could you think that? As far as I am concerned, nothing could be enough."
Starr consented to that fact, but was still troubled. "Are you sure you're not just worried that Shaun is still mad at you for firing him?"
Dorian frowned. Starr's question warranted a thoughtful response. Her answer was solemn. "Perhaps Shaun still harbors a grudge for that little … incident … but what does it matter? He can harbor whatever ill feelings he likes toward me, but the fact remains that … I owe him so much; and I just want to show him how very glad I am that he's going to be okay."
Starr pondered her aunt's sincerity. "Aunt Dorian, you don't think it's your fault that Shaun got hurt, do you?"
Dorian pooched her lips out as she turned her attention back to making the bow look perfect. "Uhm … you know … I have given a lot of thought to that day – to the decisions I made that led up to that chain of events. I don't deny that I had a part in what happened. But you have to remember that if I hadn't played that role, someone else would have."
"You're right," Starr consented again. "It was inevitable. I just wish no one would have gotten hurt."
Dorian took a deep, cleansing breath; glad Starr was on her side. "But Shaun is better now," she encouraged, " and he's leaving the hospital today, and everything is going to be alright." She smiled. "I think you should give him the cookies. The balloons can be from Hope. I'll give the champagne. Let's see … we could have this one be from Blair and this one…."
Starr cut Dorian off. "You're not going to parade us all to Shaun's door in a herd, are you?"
Dorian blinked. "A parade maybe … not a herd."
"Okay, no. Shaun is just getting out of the hospital, and he needs to be with his own family. You can sign the cards with whoever's names you want, but just let me and mom take the gifts to him okay?"
Dorian was taken aback. "I just want to express my appreciation … my gratitude … my concern for him…."
"That's fine," Starr assured her, "but honestly," she tried to be gentle with her observation of her aunt, "sometimes your concern can be a little … overwhelming."
Dorian pulled her head back and blinked at her grown-up little niece again before gazing around at the gifts she had purchased. "You think this seems overwhelming?"
"Yeah, maybe a little, for someone who just got out of the hospital."
Dorian slumped her shoulders, relenting. "Alright, I'll sign the cards. But when you speak to Shaun, tell him how relieved I am that he's better."
Starr smiled. "Promise." She backed away to go tell her mother their new plans.
"Oh, and Starr?"
Starr froze. She had an urge to hold her breath; unsure of what else Dorian might ask of her.
"Let him know – there's a job waiting for him if he ever wants it."
Starr sighed. She wasn't sure Shaun was ready for a step like that, considering that Dorian had fired him and especially considering what he had last experienced in her house. Still, she couldn't discourage Dorian. "I'll tell him," she promised.
Dorian waited until Starr was gone and turned back to the gifts, still deciding whom each present would be from.
From the kitchen, a strange but not unfamiliar sound wafted toward her. Dorian paused to listen. A pang of sentimentality shot through her as she realized someone was playing piano music - but it sounded so far away … so small.
She continued to sort cards and gifts in thought as she considered how music should fill a room, a house, or a concert hall. The tune she heard now was as distant as the times in her life when music always surrounded her.
The room suddenly burst with noise and activity as Langston and Amelia entered the room, chatting. Amelia carried her laptop, which seemed to be where the music was originating, and David followed, sulking with a newspaper and his coffee still in hand. The man took a seat in a chair while Amelia and Langston sat side-by-side on the couch.
Amelia's voice interrupted her boss's thoughts. "Dorian, you look great. I'm glad to see you're feeling better."
David's head jerked up as he shot the women a glance. Dorian did look fabulous – put together, ready for whatever life would throw at her that day. He wondered when it became Amelia's job to say so, and made a mental note to be quicker on the draw next time.
Amelia was wearing a navy suit with light blue pinstripes and Dorian had on a short teal jacket with an ivory shell, and matching teal pants. Her belt was a modest flat gold, but her necklace and earrings shined and sparkled.
Dorian made Amelia look plain and boring. David wondered if that was part of Amelia's game plan. Good cop, bad cop. Boring politician, interesting one? He thought of it in acting terms. Amelia was Dorian's prop. He decided to stop over-analyzing and flipped through the newspaper in his hand, bored.
"Oh, thank you," Dorian chirped to Amelia as she patted her hair.
Dorian appreciated the moment with great intensity. It was one of those rare moments when everything was as it was supposed to be in La Boulaie – it looked, smelled, and sounded like a happy home, with Dorian at the center of the tiny universe like the sun peeking from behind the clouds outside.
She grinned at her daughter, who was distracted with Amelia's laptop, and fished for a greeting or some acknowledgement. "Good morning, Langston."
"Morning!" Langston cheered. "Amelia found this music on MyTunes. It's David Renaldi."
Dorian froze and tilted her head toward the two, her sudden interest in the music itself outweighing the dim suspicion that Amelia and Langston had formed a conspiracy to draw her past out into the present. A vision of another time played in Dorian's mind.
The room fell silent, save for the piano music, as they failed in their attempt to gauge Dorian's reaction.
Langston elaborated. "This song is from a piano compilation. There's also a concerto he played with the Slovakian Symphony Orchestra."
Dorian turned back and made a slow and deliberate effort to work on the gifts. "Hmm," she acknowledged, unable to form a well-thought response.
One end of her mind was attached to the present – to the day greeting her, the work to be completed, and the hope for the future. The other end of her mind was trying to spin her around to the past – to a comfortable room with books and music and love. Her first David had been so exceptional, so talented. It was unexpected to hear him play now, before her friends and family, after all the years and tragedies he – they – had faced, and it caused a momentary gush of memories to swirl before her. She had a bit of trouble finding her footing between the before and after until she sighed and forced herself to the present.
It was becoming more apparent that Amelia was adept at digging up long-past and even forgotten or obscure information by using the Internet.
Amelia looked at her counterpart and considered Dorian's intentional lack of response to the music. Dorian was in a particularly upbeat mood this morning, considering her dark mood just last night. Her lack of either a good or bad response to hearing her ex-lover's music was notable.
David cleared his throat. This time he knew his timing was right. "What's all this stuff, anyway?"
Dorian shot a sideways glance at him. She knew that he wasn't asking the question out of curiosity. "Shaun is being released from the hospital today so I'm sending over a few gifts."
Langston almost laughed. "A few?"
"How'd you get all this delivered so early?" David asked, eyeing the champagne.
"David, I know people. And, Amelia was kind enough to make a couple of stops on her way over this morning, while you were still sleeping."
David did not contain his frown, nor did Amelia hide her proud smirk.
Langston lifted her eyebrows and looked between the three adults as if she were about to break up a playpen brawl over who sat next to whom. Now it was her turn to have good timing. "He was pretty good, huh?"
They all turned to blink at her. Dorian's eyes met her daughters. "What, honey?"
Langston pointed at the computer screen, unsure if she had just committed a faux pas. "David … Reynolds … Renaldi."
Dorian sighed, following Langston's train of thought. "He was a genius." She snapped her fingers. "That reminds me. We should sponsor a concert."
"A concert?" Amelia asked.
Langston grinned. This was not the first time she had heard Dorian drop the thought into conversation. "She wants River to play here in Llanview."
Amelia looked at Dorian while Dorian distracted herself with signing cards and attaching them to gifts. "Your grandson?" She furrowed her brows. There was something odd about referring to a woman like Dorian Cramer Lord as a grandmother.
David eyed Dorian up and down. It was sexy – the way she didn't bat an eyelash. "Don't worry. I'm sure you'll come up with a plan."
Amelia's eyes travelled from David to Dorian, considering his words. That seemed to be what it always was – in their relationships, in the campaign, and around Dorian in general. There was always a plan. She pulled out their agenda and offered it to Dorian. "If you'll excuse me, I need to step out and make a few calls."
Dorian nodded, not even looking at the schedule. "I need to make a couple of calls myself."
Amelia stepped out of the room and Langston took her queue, taking a moment to close Amelia's laptop, which silenced the music. "I'll be in the kitchen."
Dorian had already retrieved her address book and was flipping through it. David remained seated.
Dorian dialed and waited. David watched her push her way through several prompts before reaching whoever or whatever she was trying to call. "Yes, hello, this is…. Actually, I prefer to remain anonymous. I just wanted to let our fair police department know that I have close ties to Llanview Hospital and I know for a fact that Stanley Lowell is a close personal friend with the chief of staff there. Considering the … infamous former mayor's involvement in an illegal prescription drug operation, I thought this information might be prudent in inciting an investigation into the practices at the hospital – namely those of the chief of staff. I'm not saying there is any wrong-doing, but I thought this information might be critical." She hung up the phone and looked at David with innocence.
His eyes shined at her. "Needed a back up plan, did you?" he grinned.
She shook her head. "It isn't a back up plan, David. It just occurred to me that he was never investigated. I have the best interests of the hospital at heart."
"Yeah that's why you called the police instead of having the hospital do an internal investigation first," was his sarcastic reply. He stood and took a long drink of his cooling coffee. "You know I haven't said anything because I'm letting Amelia be the husband, but … god, you're hot."
"David…." Dorian muttered disapproval at him and turned her back, but grinned as he left the room. So he did notice. She flipped through her address book and dialed the phone again, following prompts like she had before.
"Uhm, yes, hello. This is Dorian Lord…."
Sam's teacher was on the line.
"Hello, Doctor Lord. They told me you were trying to get ahold of me."
"Yes. A situation has been brought to my attention concerning my nephew, Sam Manning?"
There was a pause, followed by a confused-sounding response. "Yes, I spoke with Sam's mother about that. She insisted that I not discuss it with anyone else."
"Well, it was Sam's mother Blair - my niece - that told me about the situation and I am afraid she did not convey to you the importance of urgency in handling it."
"Listen, Mrs. … Doctor Lord … it is all under control, I assure you. All concerned parties have been made aware of what happened and how we have chosen to handle this going forward. I cannot discuss it with you any more than to assure you that there is not anything further that can be done or anything else to concern yourself over at this time."
"Perhaps I should speak to an administrator instead," Dorian wondered, her tone as much threatening as worried.
There was another pause. "Dorian. May I call you Dorian? Your nephew is a bright, resilient young man and his soft-spoken method of observing the world before responding to it gives him a unique perspective on what happens around him. My suggestion would be that you take a lesson from Sam and set a good example for him. Otherwise your tactics will prove no better than those of a childish bully."
Dorian opened her mouth to answer but heard the buzz of a dial tone. She blinked at her phone, confirming that she had indeed been disconnected, and then growled. "Where does she get off?"
"Uh, what was that?" Starr asked, standing in the doorway with Hope on her hip.
Dorian offered a sweet smile. "Oh, nothing," she shrugged, crossing the room to take Hope in her arms and cuddle her. "…Starr? Do you think I'm a bully?"
Starr almost laughed, considering her answer as she watched Hope grasp Dorian's necklace in her tiny fist. "No, Aunt Dorian. In fact right now you look a little bit more like a push-over." She gave Dorian an encouraging smile as she pried Hope's hands off the necklace and replaced it with a doll, before taking her daughter back into her own arms. "And we have to get going if we're going to stop and visit Shaun, don't we?"
Dorian couldn't help but smile, the last phone call already forgotten. Blair came into the room and saw the pile of gifts for the first time. "God, Dorian, how'm I gonna fit all this in the car?"
Dorian grabbed her agenda. "Starr said you two could handle it on your own."
Blair grabbed a couple of boxes and motioned for Langston to pick up a basket. "Yeah, well, we're recruiting."
"I still don't understand why I shouldn't go," Dorian protested.
"Because, Dorian."
"Because what?"
"Just because."
"Blair!" Dorian stomped her foot.
"Because your intensity level is just a little bit high this morning, okay?" The girls moved to carry gifts out to Blair's vehicle.
Amelia stepped back into the room with a smirk. "And that is exactly as it should be."
Dorian relented, shooting an accusing look at Blair before reviewing her agenda for the day. "What is all this, Amelia, with David's name instead of yours?"
"I have a meeting for a few hours this afternoon."
Dorian paused to blink at her. "A meeting?" She wondered why Amelia was being vague. "Something to do with the campaign?"
Amelia was reluctant to answer, but decided it best to be frank. "I'm meeting with my lawyers. Actually, they are the LGLA's legal counsel but they've…."
Dorian cut her off. "Why do you need lawyers?"
Amelia looked at her would-be mayor and fiancée as if to ask if she was serious or kidding.
Dorian was as serious as a heart attack. "Amelia. Why do you need legal counsel?" She wanted to hear the answer.
Amelia did not know any other way to say it. "The same reason you do, and I hope you've talked to yours."
Dorian's frown was bitter. "What about those 'hot coals' we talked about walking over together?"
"Oh, we're walking over them," Amelia clarified. "But like you said, I'm also going to cover my butt in case I fall."
Dorian was not even sure why the realization that Amelia needed her own lawyers perturbed her so much, but it did. She glanced over the agenda again, distracted, incapable of even reading the words on it.
Amelia could tell Dorian was annoyed and though she couldn't explain why herself, Dorian's predictable reaction had been why she had not mentioned her behind-the-scenes plans before now.
Amelia was right to have legal representation and Dorian knew it. "I'm going to gather my things," she muttered to her campaign manager with an audible sigh as she left the room. She knew Amelia was not as concerned about a prenuptial agreement as she was about supporting and marrying a lesbian mayoral candidate who was not a lesbian.
As Amelia ended her call, Dorian took a few quiet steps backwards so that she could put on her smile, hide how volatile she felt, and enter the room as if just arriving from the kitchen.
"Oh, Amelia," she uttered upon entering the room, feigning surprise, "you're still here…."
Amelia lifted her eyebrow at Dorian's drink. "What is that?"
Dorian blinked at her with attitude and took a couple of swallows before answering. "Bourbon and coke - do you want some?" She smiled with sarcasm.
"No, thank you." Amelia tucked her cell phone into her pocket, turning her mind back to what they had been discussing before. "I ordered the photographs." She stood and slid her laptop into its case. "You know, if you have a headache, you should probably take something." As she put her computer away, she remembered her previous agenda. She still felt uneasy about Dorian's reluctance to discuss Ray Montez and wanted to get to the bottom of it.
"I did take something," Dorian nodded. She sipped her drink again as she plopped down on the couch and slipped her feet out of her shoes. She watched Amelia out of the corner of her eye and tried to appear casual and comfortable.
Amelia sighed at Dorian, gesturing at the drink. "Don't you read warning labels?"
Dorian scoffed. "Might I remind you … I'm the doctor here?"
"Is something bothering you, Dorian?" Amelia paused in genuine concern. "I thought you were going to find some chocolates?"
Dorian frowned. "I thought this would be more helpful. Are you sure you don't want to join me?" She stood and crossed the floor in her stockinged feet to put her drink down on the tray next to the decanter she often kept in the room. She held a glass up in Amelia's direction and lifted her eyebrows in encouragement. "It might help you relax."
"No, really, I'm fine," Amelia declined. She wondered if Dorian was implying that she was uptight.
Dorian read the dissatisfaction in Amelia's voice and wondered if Amelia disapproved. She also wondered again who had been on the phone. She surmised that Amelia was preparing to leave and eyed Amelia's pocket as she picked her drink back up and took it to one of the chairs facing the sofa. "Were you talking to someone earlier? I thought I heard voices from the other room but I…?" She shrugged and intentionally didn't finish her sentence.
"Oh," Amelia smiled. "Nick just wanted to make sure the meeting tonight went well." She tried to read Dorian's response. Something told her Dorian knew better.
"Ah." Dorian took a drink. She knew Amelia was lying, but couldn't show it. There was heavy pause in the room before she spoke again. "I had a little chat with Blair in the kitchen." Her eyes met her campaign manager's as Amelia waited for Dorian to elaborate. "She's … very supportive of what we're doing," Dorian assured, keeping her own secrets.
Amelia nodded with warmth. "I expected no less. She's been putting in a lot of hours for us. You should probably promote her to deputy campaign manager. She works hard and knows where she stands." Amelia didn't trust David as far as she could throw him and was deliberate in implying that he was inadequate.
Dorian's eyebrows furrowed. She knew Amelia was trying to get rid of David, but Dorian needed David on her side. Not only would it keep him away from Viki, but he also seemed to be the one person left in her campaign that remembered she was still interested in being heterosexual. "Actually," Dorian clarified to Amelia's dismay, "Blair is going to be focusing on Craze for the time being. I need David on my side. How would it look if he jumped ship and joined Viki's campaign?"
"You don't have much faith in his loyalty, do you?" Amelia smirked as she turned her back to set her bag on the floor next to the sofa.
Dorian sighed in frustration. Amelia had hit the nail on the head, and maybe she didn't want to admit it to herself. "Amelia, we need to get a few things straight."
Amelia sat back down across from Dorian, leaning forward. "Should I be concerned?"
Dorian swirled her drink in the glass and her eyes drifted upward. "I have to tell you I'm a bit … apprehensive … about how this is all going to unfold." She felt the need to clarify. "Not the campaign. The campaign is strong. I mean … our relationship – the timing." She glanced at Amelia's pocket again and wondered about the call log. Maybe she could think of an excuse to use Amelia's phone.
Amelia raised an eyebrow and cut to the chase. "You're wondering how we're going to end it."
Dorian blinked at Amelia, the abruptness of the observation drawing her back to the conversation at hand. "Well, yes. Yes, exactly."
Amelia inched around the coffee table and sat on it so that she would be close enough to grasp Dorian's forearms. "Dorian, listen. You said we needed to get a few things straight? Well, I think there's only one thing we need to keep straight, and that is that my relationship with you is not on the up-and-up."
"I agree," Dorian emphasized with a nod. Something about Amelia's admission of the fact rattled her.
"I never asked for that," Amelia clarified. "I asked you to support same-sex marriage. But when you said that we were in a relationship together, I saw an opportunity – to make a big difference – an opportunity that we could use to our advantage throughout this campaign." Her eyes sparkled with encouragement for a moment. "But here's the thing." She looked down and moved her hands to one of Dorian's, allowing her to hold her drink with the other. "I'm willing to walk across those smoldering coals with you, but I need to know you aren't going to jump off halfway to the finish line because your feet are too hot." She looked up as Dorian stared at her. "If there is any doubt in your mind – any chance that you're going to change your mind about this – we need to end this … now."
Dorian pulled her hand away and moved to stand behind the chair, looking down at Amelia. "So you're worried about your political reputation? Your career?"
Amelia paused to consider Dorian for a moment. "I'm concerned about that, yes. But I'm also concerned about how it would affect the cause. And frankly, you're not giving me a lot of confidence right now."
Dorian lowered her chin at Amelia. She felt defensive, but kept her voice as matter-of-fact as possible. "I have a lot more at stake here than you do – my business dealings, my position in this town, my family … shall I continue?"
"So you're saying you're willing to see this through?" Amelia asked, almost told, Dorian.
"Am I?" Dorian was being sarcastic. "Are you seriously asking me that?" she scoffed. She would not admit to Amelia that she had almost barged into the room minutes ago to call the whole thing off. "It sounds to me like you're the one having second thoughts."
Amelia could tell there was something Dorian wasn't saying. "Do I have reason to?" she asked, trying not to sound accusing.
"Do you?" Dorian repeated as she crossed her arms with care. "If we want out of this, we're going to have to come up with a pretty damned good excuse. And in the meantime, we both need to cover our butts."
Amelia agreed. "And on that note, I'm going to do an interview with The Intruder, so I'll need to know a few more things about you."
Dorian's mind seemed to run three different ways. "Such as?"
"Things a fiancée would know about her partner under normal circumstances. You know, things like … favorite color, where we met, who your last relationship was with…." She said it in the most casual tone possible, once again fishing for more information.
Dorian kept her arms folded, as she was unimpressed by the triviality of Amelia's list. "People will check these facts, you know."
"Exactly," Amelia grinned, trying to convince Dorian. "It's foolproof - especially if we can get your family and friends on board. Langston's article should get the ball rolling."
Dorian carried her drink to the desk and sat it down with a clank, spilling some of it. "No. We leave my family out of this." She faced Amelia.
Amelia eyed Dorian. She seemed a little too emphatic and she hadn't even had that much to drink. "Well, we can at least count on Blair … and David." She paused to assess Dorian's reaction. "Right?"
Dorian moved Langston's article to the far side of the desk and dabbed at the splash before she slid her hand over her forehead again, still bothered by Amelia's phone call, and still thoughtful over her conversation with Blair. "Listen, I'm done strategizing for the night." She stepped around Amelia to pick up a picture of Starr and swipe at the frame with her thumb. "But I want you to keep this in mind…." She lowered her voice with an expression of warning. "Because of our … parlous… situation…." She emphasized the word "situation." "…I'm entrusting you with my family, and I don't want the children involved in this any more than they have to be. Langston and Starr are old enough to decide on their own, but let's keep Jack, Sam, and – most importantly - precious Hope behind the scenes, okay? Don't bring up the children."
Amelia didn't agree. "It would be to your advantage to promote your family's solidarity and values."
Dorian shook her head with emphasis as she turned back to Amelia. "No," she demanded. "I refuse to put the children in danger, and … really … this is a very high-profile campaign." She spoke with her hands. "There are anti-gay … religious fanatics and … past enemies … Viki supporters … paparazzi…."
"Danger" was a strong word and Dorian was passionate. Amelia raised both hands in the air in surrender. "Fine. Okay."
Dorian could tell Amelia still didn't agree with her call. She looked at the doors leading into the foyer and lowered her voice as she pointed upstairs. "That baby has been through enough." She neglected to mention that she'd taken Starr and Hope's picture for Mayor Lowell's campaign right before they were kidnapped.
Amelia remembered hearing about Starr and Hope's recent kidnapping and knew that Dorian was leaving the reasons for her decision unspoken. "Okay," she shrugged. "You're the boss."
The statement reassured Dorian. "Yes, I am. Thank you."
"Can I at least get to know them a little bit better?" Amelia questioned with sincere and concerned undertones. "They live under the same roof as my future bride, so people are going to assume – at least I hope they assume – that I know a little bit about them."
Dorian tried to wrap her mind around Amelia's precarious situation. "Of course, of course," she half-whispered, more to herself than Amelia as she turned back around and put Starr's picture back in its place. "Wait a minute." She spun and shot Amelia a wide-eyed gaze.
"What?" Amelia asked, concerned.
"Well," Dorian offered, incredulous. "My family and I don't know all that much about you, either, Amelia."
"I guess if we're going to continue to pass ourselves off as a couple, we have some more work to do," Amelia observed with a wry smile before cocking her head sideways. "But you said no more strategizing tonight."
"It isn't strategizing," Dorian considered. "It's getting to know one another." She smiled and sat down with Amelia. She was far from done strategizing, and had every intention of finding out who had really called Amelia. She decided to play the maternal card and see if it worked. "What do you do for fun? Play a musical instrument? Sports? What are you secretly good at? What defines you besides … your active involvement in the LGLA?" Dorian's eyes flashed as if she were entertained by the possibilities.
Amelia smiled – more to herself than Dorian. No one ever asked her that, and she never offered the information. "Old movies."
"Old movies?" Dorian repeated, intrigued. "How old?" She meant to imply their age difference.
Amelia clarified. "State of the Union, To Kill a Mockingbird, Mr. Smith Goes To Washington, Guess Who's Coming to Dinner…. Classics that made people think."
Dorian grinned with approval.
"What about you?" Amelia asked.
Dorian wasn't sure what information to offer. "What do you want to know?"
"Tell me more about your daughters – the other two."
"Alright," she relented with a faint smile. She leaned over and pulled her discarded shoes closer.
"Cassie's father is Herb Callison?"
Dorian nodded in thought. Of course, it only made sense that Amelia knew who Herb was. "Yes – well, yes. David Renaldi is her biological father. He was an exceptional musician."
Amelia smiled, having just learned something unexpected about Dorian. "Your mother was a musician, too, right?"
Dorian's eyes flashed a distant and cold look in response to Amelia's observation as she made the sudden realization. "How did you know that?" She gaped a bit. "Did you read Mel's article?"
Amelia heard the tension in Dorian's voice and kept her own voice calm and casual. "You can learn a lot with a simple Llannet search," she shrugged.
"You know more than you're letting on." Dorian's tone was accusing as she pointed at Amelia.
"Only because it is my job to know these things," Amelia insisted.
"You knew all along who Mel was!" Dorian protested. When she got no reaction from Amelia, she calmed down a bit. "What else have you been learning about me?"
"Not much," Amelia shrugged. She didn't have to fake her concerned interest. "What about Adriana?" Amelia queried.
Dorian took a long, deep breath and let it out, eyeing Amelia. She offered the information with reluctance, trying to be cooperative and careful. "I'm very fortunate to have Adriana in my life. Not all mothers in my position are so lucky."
This time Amelia was sincere in her ignorance. "Why is that?"
Dorian hesitated to answer but knew it was in her best interest to be open and honest. "I gave her up … for totally unselfish reasons, believe it or not … but we found our way back into each other's lives." Her smile was sentimental, but she was not offering more information and was expecting Amelia to take what she had said for what it was worth.
Amelia remained silent for a moment as she appreciated the depth of what Dorian was sharing with her. "I bet there's a beautiful story there."
"Not really," Dorian half-groaned. "It's actually quite an ugly story … but it had a beautiful ending." She continued to smile, focusing on the good.
Amelia considered the significance. "Did the situation with Adriana influence your decision to adopt Langston?"
Dorian shook her head. "That was a different situation. Although … there is something to be said for a mother's instinct to protect children other than her own." She shrugged at Amelia with a faint smile. She wanted to change the subject while still seeming maternal and caring. "What about your family?"
"I have a sister."
Dorian took in the information. It was easy to identify with having a female sibling, but now she was very curious. "A sister? Is she all you have?"
"We have family in West Virginia." She noted that Dorian cocked her head to one side and answered the question before Dorian could ask it. "Our parents died in a train wreck several years ago."
Dorian was quiet and empathetic. "I'm sorry to hear that." So Amelia and Langston had something in common. Dorian again identified on a deep level, having believed for years that she, too, had lost both of her parents in a terrible accident. "You must be very close to your sister."
Amelia scoffed. "Not exactly." She met Dorian's vivid gaze. "Let's just say we have different philosophies about life and how to deal with it."
"I see." Dorian squinted at Amelia in thought for a moment and wanted to ask if Amelia and her sister resembled each other, but did not want to be insensitive while she held Amelia's trust, so she decided to change the subject again. "Can I ask you something a little more personal?"
The corner of Amelia's mouth curled up in a crooked grin, flattered at Dorian's curiosity. "Sure."
Now she could test just how far Amelia was willing to open up. Dorian was blunt. "What … did you always know you were a lesbian, or … did something happen?"
Amelia smirked, knowing the answer without thinking because she had answered it for herself so many times. "Actually, I never thought about it when I was younger, but I never could change the fact that I was just more drawn to women, and more comfortable being affectionate with them."
Dorian nodded, listening. "And intimate?"
Amelia blinked. "Doesn't that go without saying? But it wasn't just that. I've just always bonded with women easier – mentally, emotionally."
Dorian could appreciate that, and she wondered if the same were true for all women. She understood and identified better with females as well – at least on a platonic level. "So what made you...?" Dorian shrugged as she asked. "…Come out?"
Amelia wondered at the timing of the conversation for only a moment before offering her open answer. "When I was in college, one of our assignments was to research political events and propose a hypothetical bill based on a situation in a news story. I found an article about Arizona's controversy over recognizing Martin Luther King Jr. Day, and I took an interest in it. My professor put me in touch with an acquaintance in the state – a justice in the Arizona Supreme Court.
"Carla became a good friend and a great mentor to me, and I looked up to her. I actually held great affection for her … and one day she said to me, 'Martin Luther King Jr.'s intent was not to draw attention to our differences, but to ensure equal rights for all. He wanted everyone to see that it was okay to be a person of color, or a Jew, or an immigrant – that our differences are not what matters. But in order for others to see us as being equal to them, for them to accept us as people like them, we have to accept ourselves for who we are.' … She knew what she was saying to me, and what it would mean to me. And that … pretty much changed my life." She clarified. "For the better."
"Carla," Dorian wondered. Her mind turned to past events as it made the connection. "Carla … Hall?" Carla had lived in Llanview years ago before moving to Arizona.
"Oh," Amelia flinched, feeling a bit exposed. "You know her?" She knew Carla had lived in Llanview, and that Carla knew all about Dorian, but had not thought about how well Dorian might know Carla.
Dorian shifted in her seat. "Her husband, Ed, was on the ticket with Herb when he ran for governor. … Carla encouraged you to come out?"
"She taught me that it was okay to feel what I felt." Amelia examined Dorian as they shared a thoughtful pause.
Dorian eyed Amelia again. "Small world." She pondered whether Amelia knew other people that connected them by mere degrees of separation. The thought made her feel ill at ease for some reason. "I find it ironic that Carla would encourage you to be yourself considering that there was a point in her life when she wasn't." Carla was African American, but had passed herself off as white for a time.
Amelia was uncomfortable with the conversation. "She learned from her mistakes," she told Dorian, her voice revealing her uncertainty. "She just wanted to prevent my … not being honest … with myself."
Her eyes met Dorian's as she thought back on the phone conversation she'd just had, and they exchanged a silent look of guilt before Dorian defended herself.
"I suppose all great leaders have found themselves in the awkward position in which they had to sacrifice a bit of their personal integrity for the greater good." She tried to think of a good illustration. "Elected officials, for example, must represent the people who voted for them, even if their personal views are different than most."
Amelia acknowledged Dorian's conflict. "Or at least represent the people who supported their campaign, or might support it in the future."
Dorian nodded. Amelia understood.
"What's most important to you in the world, Dorian?" Amelia asked, anticipating the answer.
Dorian didn't even have to consider. "My family."
Amelia dipped her head. "Well – the LGLA – they are my family," Amelia explained. "When I figured out who I was – what was important to me – it was like I had finally found my place in the world – where I belonged." She lowered her chin at Dorian. "You said you were entrusting me with your family. Well … I'm entrusting you with mine." She kept her gaze fixed on the other woman.
Dorian returned the steady gaze, recognizing the severity and depth of what Amelia was telling her. Dorian could identify. There had been a time or two in her life when she had felt as if she had no family, either, whether true or not. She understood the need to feel a sense of place and to feel important. In a way, she felt that now, and had the urge to explain that need to Amelia in return.
Amelia was gentle as she continued. "That's why it is so imperative that you see this through, and we handle this well."
Dorian shifted in her seat and leaned toward Amelia. "Do you know why I decided to run for mayor?" She lifted an eyebrow, as if alluding to a big secret.
"Is it just to keep Viki out of office?" Amelia accused. "Is that why you were so eager to jump on the gay and lesbian bandwagon?"
"Of course not," Dorian defended before she had time to think about her answer.
Amelia wasn't convinced. "You knew the LGLA was shopping for a gay-rights candidate. You barely looked at my resume … and you didn't even interview me. You hired me because I told you I was gay. You knew the LGLA was poised to endorse Viki."
"Amelia…" Dorian protested, "…That is beside the point."
"I just can't help but feel like you're trying to pull back … like maybe you're trying to pick and choose just how far you're willing to go to win this. Like maybe it isn't as important to you as you let on."
Dorian squinted. Amelia was right. An awkward pause lingered between them as Dorian took care with her words. "You're right. Some things are more important to me than others, and … I'm just trying to get my priorities in this campaign in a line." She grabbed Amelia's hand to emphasize her sincerity. "But this isn't about Viki," she insisted. "I had my reasons for running for mayor."
"What were they?" Amelia asked, concerned. "Before the whole equal rights agenda came up? What was your motivation?"
Dorian released Amelia as she sighed and stood, retrieving her drink from the desk. "Honestly…." She turned back to Amelia once she had grasped her glass. She was frustrated with her own admission. "It was for my own personal satisfaction, okay? For … redemption. Power."
"Redemption?" Amelia wondered.
"Because I was Mayor Lowell's campaign manager. Because he would not support my becoming chief of staff at the hospital - which, by the way, I still plan to do at some point." She nodded to herself. "Especially now that Mayor Lowell is decommissioned and I no longer need his backing." She carried her drink back to her seat. "Because I threw my support and influence behind that … jackass … and people, including my own nieces, were nearly killed because of it."
Amelia pondered. "Okay. The redemption part I understand. What about the power? You seem to have plenty of power, money … influence." She gestured at the room around her.
Dorian considered Amelia for a long moment, her mouth somewhat agape as she held her jaw open. "I think we're a lot alike, Amelia."
Amelia blinked at her. The statement was unexpected. "How so?"
Dorian smiled at her own thoughts. "Because when we feel an injustice, we want to fight it – correct it. We're both ambitious. And we both know how to make ourselves valuable." She paused, then questioned. "Don't we?" She lifted an eyebrow at Amelia. "We want to be valuable. To have a presence in the world?" She chuckled. "How could it go on without us?"
Amelia looked Dorian in the eyes. She'd hit the nail right on the head. Amelia nodded understanding. She had positioned herself in Dorian's campaign with intent and purpose in order to make herself valuable not only to a possible future mayor, but also to the LGLA. In the same way, Dorian was running for mayor to make herself even more valuable to her town and peers. Still, she had to wonder. "How could you ever, possibly feel un-valuable, Dorian?"
Dorian lifted her chin with confidence and grinned, one eyebrow still higher than the other. "I know how valuable I am. Sometimes I just feel the need to … remind others of it. Particularly those who let me down." She squinted, her smile fading.
Amelia was still trying to learn more about Dorian. "Who let you down?" she whispered.
Dorian glanced at Amelia's pocket again. "Who was that on the phone?"
Amelia furrowed her brows, wondering if Dorian had heard more of the conversation than she had revealed. "What?"
"Oh, come on. We both know it wasn't Nick making sure the meeting went well."
Amelia didn't want to be another person to let Dorian down, and had to be honest. "It was Carla."
Dorian lifted her brows at Amelia. "Oh." She twisted her lips up for a moment before asking. "She doesn't support us?"
"She is pretty confident that you're not gay. She has a problem with that."
Dorian appreciated the irony. Amelia wanted support for their deception and wasn't getting it from Carla. Dorian wasn't even expecting support and was being encouraged by Blair. She had to crack a smile. "So do I."
Amelia grinned back for a moment before turning serious again. Despite not wanting to disappoint Dorian, she had suddenly remembered removing the record of a phone call from Dorian's phone earlier. Amelia wanted to assume that Ray Montez had been the one Dorian was referring to when she said that someone had let her down. She wanted to confirm that whatever Dorian wasn't saying wasn't a threat to their faux relationship. "I won't let you down, Dorian. Just please, don't let me down, either."
Dorian nodded back with a sad smile. "I think I'm going to turn in early. My headache isn't getting any better. But … feel free to stick around and take care of whatever you need to do."
"Of course," Amelia answered, concerned. "Just let me know if you need anything. See you in the morning?"
Dorian nodded at her. "Bright and early."
"I hope you feel better."
"Oh, I will," Dorian promised, exiting and disappearing up the stairs. As reassuring as their conversation had been – as much insight as it had given her – she still somehow felt nauseous.
The room fell silent and Amelia looked around when she heard a rustling sound coming from the terrace. It began to rain, the wind blowing leaves and drops against the panes in the doors.
It had turned out to be an intense night, full of intense thoughts, and the rain seemed like a comforting release. Reading Langston's article had confirmed to Amelia that she was in the right place, but until now, Dorian had not confirmed that herself. Now, between the phone call from her past mentor and Dorian's comparison of the two of them, Amelia longed to make herself invaluable to Dorian.
She didn't want to have to plan to go anywhere when the campaign ended, even if she provided Dorian with a way out. In fact, providing that out just might garner her Dorian's trust.
Dorian had left her shoes behind in the now-quiet room. For some reason Amelia felt compelled to pick one up and inspect it. It was beautiful, stylish, feminine, and made a statement about its owner's personality. She put the shoe back down where Dorian had left it.
So what if Dorian wasn't gay? Amelia had no doubt that she could win Dorian over – in a respectful way – and once she had sealed her position in Dorian's life and Dorian's office, she would be in an even better position to fight for equal rights than she was now. It all seemed so perfect. With newfound confidence, she gathered her things and headed out into the rain.
Upstairs, Dorian hung her clothes up in their neat and proper place, changed into her nightgown, and slipped into bed. With the light off, and the soft glow of her nightlight nearby, she lay on her back and stared at the ceiling with one hand on her forehead. She could hear the gentle weather playing on the roof and walls, like a song with only a few notes.
Who let you down?
She thought about Mel. She could still feel his presence so close to her – sometimes more than others – and when she couldn't see him or hear him it made their separation feel that much worse. She wondered if he was sitting at the edge of her bed. If so, he was being quiet and unseen tonight.
She found her mind straying, wondering about Ray - wondering if she had let him down even more than he had her - but she pushed him out of her mind and pondered David.
Why was David's timing always so … off? Somehow she couldn't help but think that Amelia was right about him, but she also felt she needed him close by. He was a contingent part of her life, and though she half expected him to disappear again at any moment, she did not want to lose him entirely. Plus, his friendship with Viki and his connection with the Buchanans could still be used to her own advantage.
She never thought about Clint much - the thought of him and Nora made her queasy. They were a positively incorrect couple, and it was sickening.
She wondered when was the last time Bo had visited Lindsay. For some reason, that reminded her that Carlotta was supporting Viki for mayor. Why did it feel so empty?
Who had let her down, indeed...
She tossed in the bed and clutched one of her pillows to her body. It wasn't her head that hurt as much as her heart.
"Amelia, I'm finally able to reach you. How are you?"
Amelia couldn't help but smile as she held her cell phone to her ear. "I'm great. Surprised – to hear from you. How are you?" Her question was deep and sincere.
"I'm fine, thank you for asking," came the brief answer, moving on to more important matters. "But I have to admit I am a bit concerned about you."
Amelia could only try to guess what the concern was over, and was not sure whether she should be worried or offended. "How so?"
The voice on the line was gentle and calm.
"I still subscribe to The Banner. I don't want to accuse you of anything underhanded, Amelia – I think more of you than that. But every time I read the Llanview news I have this sinking feeling in my gut, and with each paper it gets worse. Are you really going to marry Dorian Lord?"
As Dorian approached the sitting room with her drink in hand, her mind was still distracted by her conversation with Blair and she didn't hear Amelia talking until she was to the door. It sounded like Amelia was speaking to someone on her cell phone – Dorian could only hear one half of the conversation. She paused against the outside wall to listen to what Amelia had to say.
Amelia was flattered by the concern of her friend on the line and somehow glad that someone was questioning her actions. It was a relief, in a way. At the same time, she felt defensive.
"Yes, I am. Do you have a problem with that?" Dorian heard Amelia ask. Amelia's voice sounded concerned, but heated. Dorian wondered what she was discussing.
"Only one, Amelia. Dorian is not gay."
There was a noticeable pause in the conversation that lingered in silence. Dorian tried not to move.
Amelia felt pressured to respond. Her friend - her former mentor - Carla, was right, of course.
"What makes you think that? Do you know Dorian?"
Upon hearing specific mention of her own name, Dorian's interest in the conversation was truly piqued. She inched closer to the open doors to the room, trying not to make a sound. She looked down at her drink as she waited for Amelia to speak again.
"Well, I admit I haven't crossed paths with Dorian for quite some time, but as I recall, she has always been interested in men. Now, Amelia, I'm not calling so that you can practice for the media on me. I want you to be honest with me, and if you can't be, I'm going to hang this phone up and stop wasting my time. What is going on?"
Amelia shook her head as she attempted to be more amused than insulted. "Dorian and I are standing up for equal rights for all people. We believe that everyone has the right to marry the person that they love, regardless of race, class, or gender…."
A part of Dorian wanted to roll her eyes, but another part of her was proud of Amelia's statement. She realized her mixed emotions about their stance and situation stemmed, at least in part, from the speech she'd just heard from Blair.
"I have to stop you. See, I read all that in the paper. My concern is the line about having the 'right' to marry the person that you love. You understand my concern?"
Amelia furrowed her eyebrows. "Not exactly, no."
As Amelia spoke again, Dorian wondered what question had been asked. She looked at her drink again, and she felt a bit anxious, but didn't move. There was another endless pause as Amelia listened to the person on the other end of the call.
"The whole point of marriage is for two people who love each other to commit their lives to one another – not to prove a point. I don't know if you love Dorian or not, but if she doesn't love you – if either of you is entering this marriage falsely, then you are automatically undermining everything you're trying to accomplish. And I may be slightly out of touch, but I know enough about both of you to know that you are two people who sometimes stack the blocks too high. Your ambition can't be faulted. I just don't want to see it all crashing down around you."
Amelia frowned. How could she respect and appreciate a person so much and feel so hurt and mad at them at the same time?
"How am I stacking the blocks too high?" she demanded. "This is a wonderful opportunity to finally draw some attention to the beauty of gay marriage and make something happen for my community. Dorian is with me on this. If there was any doubt in my mind, I would have already started backing off."
To Dorian, Amelia certainly seemed unhappy with whatever had been said. She had an urge to drop her drink and rush into the room to interrupt.
Yes, maybe they were stacking the blocks too high. She could comprehend the comparison – envision a wobbling tower just before it toppled. Amelia might not doubt Dorian, but Dorian had her doubts, for sure. She sighed as she thought of Sam's crayons – preventing herself from barging into the room and ending the charade that very moment.
Somehow, she just couldn't, and now she was starting to comprehend how much faith Amelia (and perhaps the whole LGBT community) was putting in her. It was a heavy burden, and Dorian had always believed she could carry the burdens others were not capable of carrying.
"You still haven't said anything about love, or given me any evidence that Dorian really is 'with you' on this. Amelia, I don't mean to sound harsh or doubt your sincerity, but please – tell me you are going to figure a way to ease yourself out of this before you're sued or worse. If your most publicized campaign is based on a fraud, your whole career is going to be destroyed, and you're much too young for that."
Amelia took a deep breath. "Listen, I believe in this. Like I've never believed in anything before. For the first time, I feel like I'm able to really make a difference – really contribute something meaningful to the world. I feel important. I'm where I am supposed to be. Dorian is the biggest part of that. I need her to help make this change, and she needs me to get elected. Please, support us – support me – on this."
Dorian would have smiled to herself, flattered, if her misgivings had not outweighed how pleased she was that Amelia felt she was helping to change the world. It was a dizzying thought. What if they could, in fact, change the world? What if they became a major part of American history for taking this stand?
On the other hand, what if it was the biggest embarrassment of Dorian's life? She lifted her drink to her lips as she continued to listen to the silence in the other room, waiting for Amelia to speak again.
"I have no doubt that both of you have this all justified in your minds." Carla sighed. "I guess you've answered all my questions and confirmed my doubts – and it seems there is nothing I can do to convince you that the whole situation is very disconcerting to me. Apparently there is nothing more I can say. I admire your passion and determination. If there is no way I can convince you to rethink this, then at least take this one piece of advice and follow through with it: Have good legal representation. And I don't mean Dorian's legal team. Find your own."
Amelia held her breath for a moment, a dull ache in her chest. "I appreciate your concern, and that's not a line. I really do. But I have to play hardball – someone has to play hardball – or things will never change. As far as my relationship with Dorian goes, my choices for my personal life are just that – my choices."
Dorian lowered her drink as she tried to read between the lines. She admired Amelia's initiative, but obviously whomever Amelia was talking to was someone close enough to her that they felt comfortable telling her that they didn't approve of her so-called relationship, but not close enough to know the entirety of what was going on. At first she wondered if it was an ex-lover, but somehow Amelia sounded more like a daughter talking to her mother.
Dorian wondered. It couldn't be Nick. Dorian was pretty sure Nick knew everything there was to know about the situation.
"But it isn't your personal life, Amelia," came the soft but decisive answer. "This is your public – very public – and professional life. I know this could propel your career, but like I said, it could also destroy it just as easily."
"Please, stop being so negative. Do you have a personal problem with Dorian or something?"
Dorian's head jerked toward the double doors. Did the person that Amelia was talking to know her? That possibility in itself was another cause for worry.
"I just worry that you put too much faith in her. My problem isn't with Dorian, per se, but the fact that she is influencing your entire life right now."
"When other people aren't?" Amelia accused.
Dorian twitched on the inside in response to Amelia's tone. She felt a bit guilty for eavesdropping, but not guilty enough to regret it or stop.
Carla discerned what Amelia had implied. "I don't want you to be hurt. I couldn't be the person you needed. If Dorian can be, then blessings to both of you."
Amelia remained silent, recognizing the wisdom in the words spoken and the truth of her situation.
During the pause, Dorian gritted her teeth in frustration. Listening to this conversation – not knowing what it was all about – was driving her up the wall. In her mind, she started plotting the things she could say to Amelia to pull the details from her without divulging that she had been eavesdropping.
When Amelia said nothing, Carla spoke up again.
"I would be so happy for you … if you could find a real, lasting, meaningful relationship with someone you love, and who loves you in return – the way you need to be loved."
Amelia was quiet for a very long time. Dorian grew uneasy about the silence and peeked around the corner.
Amelia was sitting on the couch with her back to the foyer doors. She was still holding the phone to her ear, still listening, motionless.
A hundred responses raced through Amelia's mind – some of them sad, some angry, some grateful. She wanted to defend herself – to prove she was no longer the girl her mentor had known – but those were the words she could not find.
"Find a way … to do this the right way. Don't ever try to be someone that you aren't, and don't ask someone else to play that role either. The longer you try to attain those expectations, the harder it will be to hold everything in place. You know where I'm coming from."
Finally, Amelia spoke. All she could say was, "I'll keep your advice in mind."
Dorian didn't like the sound of that statement. She didn't think she was being paranoid in assuming that someone was trying to talk Amelia out of their upcoming nuptials, or even the way they were going about their campaign. It was ironic – Blair was talking Dorian into going through with it while Amelia's … friend? … was trying to talk her out of it.
Dorian didn't like the idea of someone trying to one up her behind her back. She wondered if Amelia knew someone who was friends with Viki. That was a startling possibility. There was no way in hell Dorian would let Viki's campaign undermine her own with this sort of psychological warfare. She was angry just thinking about the idea of it.
"You have my number? Call if you need anything."
Amelia knew she would not call, but answered, "Sure. I'll keep you updated..."
"No need to. I take The Banner, remember? Give my regards to your fiancée."
Amelia had no intention of doing so. "…Thanks for calling. Bye." Amelia cut off the conversation and seemed rather annoyed.
She hung up the phone, trying not to feel the contempt or pain that rose to the surface of her emotions when faced with the concerned truth of a person who cared about her, and who she valued. She knew Carla was right, but there had to be a way for Dorian and her to have their cake and eat it, too. She just had to think about it.
Frustrated, she slapped her laptop closed, just as the wheels in her mind began to turn.
As Amelia ended her call, Dorian took a few quiet steps backwards so that she could put on her smile, hide how volatile she felt, and enter the room as if just arriving from the kitchen.
Blair was at the kitchen table, drinking hot cocoa and reading The Sun. "Dorian!" she said, surprised, as she folded the paper and laid it aside. "You're home. I didn't hear you come in."
Dorian sighed as she paused to check a thermostat. "Yes, I was asked not to shout while the baby is sleeping," she winced. "Hot cocoa? You read my mind." She crossed the room to retrieve a cup, her shoes clicking against the dark marble floor.
Blair smirked to herself. She had been trying to convince Dorian to stop shouting for years. "Actually, I'm glad I ran into you. We need to talk about a couple of things."
Dear god, Dorian thought to herself. Everyone wanted to talk. She poured herself a teacup of cocoa and set it aside on a saucer to cool, feigning interest. "Oh?" She grabbed a bottle of water and poured it into a clear glass. She had been concealing a pill in her fist and now popped it into her mouth.
"What's the matter?" Blair asked. "You have a headache or something?"
Dorian gestured that it was just a little headache, measuring it with her fingers as she drank the water and swallowed the pill.
"Well, first of all, there's David," she explained, watching as her aunt lifted the hot cup of chocolate toward the table where she sat down across from Blair. "You really need to rein that guy in."
Dorian groaned, her voice low and loathsome. "Working for me is supposed to keep him 'reined in.'" She turned the cup on its saucer. "What else?"
Blair squinted at Dorian. "So … never mind that David thinks that your campaign manager has some sort of conspiracy to destroy you with gay marriage. If you ask me, I think he's just jealous that he's not getting all the attention. You know he's been worse than usual since he found out he really is a Buchanan. He's … not … is he?"
Dorian quirked a quizzical brow at her niece.
"Getting attention?" Blair clarified.
Dorian knew what she was implying. "Noo…." Dorian lifted her hot drink to her lips and sipped it with a tired sigh. Sentimentality crept into her mind as the image of David Buchanan wearing the black cowboy hat she had picked out for him flashed through her mind. She didn't want to have to think about David at the moment.
Blair eyed her aunt and sensed that it was time to change the subject. "I also wanted to talk to you about Lucas."
"Lucas?" Dorian asked, casting her eyes to the side in contemplation.
"Yeah, the assistant editor at Craze? Ring a bell?" Blair put one hand on her hip and leaned on the table with her other forearm, drumming her fingernails on the tabletop, annoyed.
"I fired him," Dorian stated as a matter of fact. "I specifically asked that Nuage Onze be featured."
"Well," Blair informed her aunt with a sneer. "I just wanted you to know that I re-hired him."
"Blair!" Dorian protested.
"Dorian, we need him right now," Blair stated. "You just focus on…." She waved her hand dismissively at her aunt. "…Whatever it is that you and Amelia do, and just get yourself elected. Let me handle Craze." She slid out of her seat and carried her mug to the sink.
"Blair…."
"I'm serious, Dorian," Blair told her without turning around.
Dorian frowned at her cocoa, sighing, before she noticed a shopping bag that had been sitting in the seat next to Blair. Intrigued, she leaned forward to grab it and peek inside.
Blair returned to the table and stood watching. "Uh, hey! Nosy much?"
Dorian looked up at her and dug in the bag. "What is this?" She pulled out a large box of crayons. "Didn't you just buy brand new school supplies a couple of months ago?" She blinked at her niece, concerned and curious.
"Yeah, well…." Blair rubbed her temple with her forefinger and then pointed at the box. "Sam needed some new crayons so, you know, I went out and bought him the biggest, best box I could find. Look." She grabbed the crayons from Dorian and turned the box over. "There's a built-in sharpener, too. Cool, huh?"
Dorian shook her head. There was more to this story. "Cool? Sam went through a whole box of crayons in two months?" She gazed at Blair, squinting.
"Yeah, well … okay, so there was this other kid at school," Blair admitted, shrugging. "He broke Sam's crayons." Before Dorian could respond she held her hands up. "Just promise me you aren't gonna fly off the handle about this."
Dorian blinked with a grave frown. "Me? Why would I do that?" Blair didn't respond. "Why did this … other child … break Sam's crayons, Blair?" she interrogated.
"Well, apparently…." Blair spoke with caution. "Gay kids can't use the same crayons that other kids do."
Dorian knocked her chair back as she jumped up from the table. "What?! Sam's not even old enough to…."
"I know, I know!" Blair interrupted, waving her hands at Dorian in an attempt to calm her down. "Listen to me, okay? This is just one ignorant kid who probably learned this from his parents, and … let's face it … you've been getting a lot of publicity, so…. And it is hard for these little ones to understand how it all … 'works,' so to speak."
"Oh, come on!" Dorian stomped her foot. "How dupable does this kid think we are? He didn't break Sam's crayons because Sam is gay or someone in his family … is gay." She swallowed. "This was a deliberate scare tactic! Your child is being threatened, Blair."
Blair bit her bottom lip as she listened to her aunt. "I don't know…." Blair waved her hand before Dorian could argue. "I mean, yes, you may be right, but I did a lot of stupid things when I was younger – when I didn't know better – that I wouldn't do now." She gestured at Dorian. "You know that." She left the history of how she and Dorian had first come to know each other between the lines. "And maybe this kid just doesn't know better yet."
Dorian was visibly distressed. "Well, what are you going to do about this situation, Blair?" she demanded to know. "And where was his teacher when this was happening?"
"You know what? Sam's teacher and I discussed this, and it's being handled. She's the one who came to me about it, okay? She's aware of the problem. It's fine." Blair turned the box in her hands, pretending to inspect it.
Dorian begged to differ. "Uh, no-oo. This is not fine." She lifted her finger in adamant protest. "I am not going to have my family subjected to cruelty like this because of my actions." She pointed at herself as she talked. "We are talking about innocent children here – Sam and Jack … even the baby. Starr and Langston can handle it, but I can't let this go any further. No, no." Dorian didn't mention that she still felt guilty about Starr and Hope being kidnapped because of her association with the former mayor.
Blair slumped her shoulders at her aunt, exasperated. "Dorian, come on. Now, calm down. What exactly are you saying here?"
Dorian was as angry as she was saddened. "I'm saying I'm going to march back into the other room and tell Amelia this 'engagement' is off."
"And what about the election?" Blair put her hands on her hips, still clutching the crayons.
Dorian repositioned her chair at the table and stood behind it, looking down at her cup. "I can still support equal rights and use the gay and lesbian platform, even if I don't marry Amelia." Her voice revealed her doubt.
"So … what?" Blair gestured with her empty hand and smacked the front of her leg with her palm. "You're going to stage a public break-up now?" She stared at her aunt for a minute, as Dorian was lost in thought. "You know how to tell when a politician is lying, right?"
Dorian's head snapped toward Blair. "Are you suggesting I tell the truth? I mean … it's one thing to end this charade but it is another to admit to all those people who don't believe I'm gay to start with that they're right."
"Oh, right … aaaallll those people – you mean all the people who know you?" Blair pressed one finger against her chin and rolled her eyes toward the ceiling, squinting. "Your family already knows the truth so who does that leave? Viki? Clint? All your friends? Oh, wait … I think they already know the truth, too. So…. " Blair set the box of crayons down on the table and rocked them with one hand. "Basically, you've already ruined your credibility with the people who know you, so you might as well destroy the credibility you have with the majority of voters, right?" She shrugged.
Dorian slumped her shoulders. "Your sarcasm and ironic wit is never lost on me."
"I know it isn't."
Dorian took a deep breath and released it. "Then I have to stage a break up … and I have to convince Amelia to go along with it."
"You can't do that, Dorian," Blair insisted.
"What?" Dorian asked. She knew she could convince Amelia to go along with it. Amelia's job depended on Dorian's approval. So Blair meant she couldn't stage a break up. "Why can't I?"
"Because a lot of people are looking up to you right now, Dorian. You've turned yourself into some kind of gay icon. And let's face it – if you broke up with Amelia because of this situation with Sam, it would just be a matter of time until you were parading around town with some strapping guy on your arm – or telling another lie to try to hide a straight relationship. Hell, Dorian, David's lurking around here like he's waiting in the wings. For all we know, you're already trying to hide something."
Blair was half-teasing, but Dorian rolled her eyes. "I assure you I am not!"
"The point is that you're in too deep – or maybe over your head?" Blair lowered her chin at Dorian, wondering.
"Which is why I need to come out with the truth as soon as possible," Dorian said out of the corner of her mouth, unmoving.
Blair lowered her voice and tried to sound comforting. "I know you're under a lot of pressure right now, Dorian. I get it. I see all the work and money going into this campaign." She stepped beside Dorian and draped her arm over her aunt's shoulders.
"Money, yes," Dorian nodded, looking up at the ceiling. "I can already imagine the lawsuits from the people who are endorsing me…."
"Just stop a minute and listen to me, would you?" Blair hushed her aunt. Dorian relented and she continued. "I get it – I mean, you're out there every day holding your head high while the media is running stories that say, 'Is She For Real?' and people are putting up those stupid signs that say, 'Put Her Back in the Closet.'"
Dorian flinched away from Blair at the mention of the protests.
Blair balled her fists and let Dorian move away from her, then took a few steps to the side and turned to look at her aunt again. "Dorian," she lowered her voice, serious. "You're doing a good job. For every hate letter, you get two people who volunteer for the campaign or write a thank you – or even come out of the closet because … you give them hope."
Dorian thought about it for a moment and then turned to her niece. "Hope based on an impulsive lie," she muttered. "I was under pressure, I had a microphone in front of me, and the eyes of everyone in town on me – including my political opposition and every liberal organization that could possibly influence voters. As much pressure as I felt in that moment, this is definitely not worth it." She pointed at the crayons.
"To you? Or to the people who are taking a stand with you?"
"Blair, are you even listening to yourself? Your children are…."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know all about what my children are going through here, Dorian." Blair moved to stand behind the other woman and placed her hands on each of Dorian's shoulders, leaning forward and speaking in a soft tone. "Listen to me for a minute, okay? My kids are innocent in all this, right?" She waited for Dorian to acknowledge.
"Exactly," Dorian nodded.
"Well, so are the kids who have gay parents or gay people in their families – real gay people. Someday – and it needs to be soon – there has to come a time when children from all walks of life can sit in school together and they won't even think about their differences anymore." She stepped around and examined the wary look in Dorian's eyes as she continued. "What race they are, what religion they are, or even if their parents – or aunts – are gay. Am I right?"
Dorian softened as she looked into Blair's eyes, listening. "Yes, of course. And I would truly like to help our society reach that point." She shook her head. "But not at the expense of my own family." She continued to shake her head and took a step away from Blair and back toward the sitting room.
"So that's kind of message you want to send, Dorian?" Blair continued. "You're just going to up and change your story because of one ignorant little bully? What good is breaking up with Amelia if you're still saying you're a lesbian?"
Dorian halted. "Blair, this can still be a success story. I'm just going to take the focus off of my sexuality."
"Who does that benefit besides yourself?" Blair asked.
"Blair, are you even listening to me?" Dorian gestured at her ear and then at Blair. "It benefits the children," she emphasized.
Blair pointed at the kitchen door. "Well, fine, whatever. Go on and discuss your next ploy with Amelia." Blair looked down at Dorian's cooling cocoa and shrugged. "Go riding to everyone's rescue like you always do. Whatever Dorian thinks is best."
Dorian furrowed her brows. "What's that supposed to mean?"
Blair spun to her. "You know exactly what it means. That's sort-of your M.O. The mother-protector." She paused to lift her brows at Dorian and let her statement sink in before she stepped after her aunt.
Dorian knew it was true and didn't know whether to resent the accusation or be proud of it.
"All I'm saying is … what does it matter anyway? Straight, gay – it isn't anyone's business. You could say you moonlight as the tooth fairy and it shouldn't matter as long as voters think you're the most qualified for the job. So are you?"
Dorian's brows were still drawn toward each other. "Of course I am," she answered.
"You obviously believe in gay rights, but it isn't the only issue you care about, right? So why does that have to define your whole campaign? Breaking it off with Amelia isn't going to win you any battles."
"No, but it might win one for Sam."
"Sam can win his own battles." Blair crossed her arms. "You seem to forget that you have Cramer boys, too. And if you keep protecting Sam, he's going to be what you so eloquently refer to as 'a feeler.' Let him fight for himself, Dorian."
Dorian's breath caught and she withdrew into a moment of introspection. Was Blair saying that her protective interference made people weaker? She shook her head as she snapped back to the world around her. "I just don't know if it is good for the children to see me acting out this relationship."
Blair stepped forward and took Dorian's hand, drawing her back toward the center of the room and away from the kitchen door. "Do you know what Jack said to me the other night?" Blair did a Jack impersonation. "'Like, you know, Mom, it's totally gross to see Aunt Dorian swappin' spit with a guy, so it couldn't be any more revolting to see her kissing Amelia.' You know, he's thinking. It's good for him to decide for himself – rather than listen to outside influences."
Dorian cracked a smile at Blair's words, though they didn't make her feel any better. "Like his father."
Blair continued. "The kids are still trying to figure things out. So I guess what I'm saying is, this isn't all bad."
"But it's a lie," Dorian whispered.
"So, let me see if I understand this. You don't like that you're lying when you say you're in a relationship with Amelia, so … you're going to lie that you're breaking up with her?"
Dorian blinked a few times. "At least the latter would be closer to the actual truth?"
"Again, what does it matter? Gay, straight – you're still running on the same platform, right? And you stand to lose a really great campaign manager, and possibly the election. But, hey," Blair over-emphasized her shrug. "What do I know?"
Dorian pinched the bridge of her nose. She hadn't thought about the fact that breaking up with Amelia would seem suspicious if Amelia remained with the campaign afterward. "No, you're right," she admitted in a quiet mutter.
"What was that?" Blair asked, cupping her ear.
Dorian dropped her hand to her side. "I just have to think about this."
"Promise me," Blair demanded. "You're not going to make any rash decisions right now."
"Okay, fine," Dorian sighed, still not convinced.
Blair spun and gathered her shopping bag and crayons, which she shook at Dorian. "And I swear to God if Todd finds out about this…." She didn't finish her sentence.
"Blair?" Dorian questioned as her niece started to leave the room. "Promise me something in return?"
Blair turned to her aunt.
"Please tell me if there are any more … situations … with the children?"
Blair nodded her assurance. "Oh. Yeah, of course." She rounded the corner and headed upstairs, leaving her aunt in the kitchen. She wasn't very convincing.
Dorian shook her head at herself. On one hand, it killed her to think that the children might suffer because of her personal agendas. On the other, Blair was right. Langston's article was right. Everyone – including the children - had to stand up for what they believed in, or other people would keep holding them down.
It was a lesson that had helped Dorian survive since she was a tiny child.
And maybe Blair had a point about trying to be protective. Maybe people who were always protected or helped were weaker, and those who had to stand up were the strong ones. It reminded her of a story she had once heard about a butterfly.
Feelers and fighters, she reminded herself, not really comforted.
Dorian abandoned her cocoa and made herself a different drink before returning to the sitting room.
Their meeting had gone better than expected and Dorian was chipper. They had stayed on topic, fielding questions about the economy and job security, and Dorian was so relieved that there were still constituents who were concerned more with her professional plans than her sexual orientation.
The sky had darkened and the temperature had fallen when Amelia walked her to the door that evening with her planner in one hand and her laptop bag in the other. They'd dropped David off for "first dinner" at The Palace. The stillness in the air was broken when they walked into the foyer. "Langston!" Dorian called out. "I'm home!"
Amelia smiled to herself. Dorian always made an entrance.
Dorian slid her coat off and Amelia took it to the closet as Starr rushed down the stairs. She stopped when she reached the landing, standing in front of the campaign poster that now covered the painting on the wall. "Aunt Dorian, please don't shout. I just got Hope to sleep!"
Dorian balled her fist and pressed it to her forehead. "I'm sorry, honey," she apologized, looking up at Starr with sincerity. "I keep forgetting."
Starr slumped her shoulders, exasperated. "Old habits die hard, I guess." She relented to her aunt's apologetic gaze. "It's alright. She's probably getting used to sleeping through all the shouting around here anyway."
Dorian smiled at Starr as she pulled her gloves off. "Starr…." She looked around the room. "Is Langston still home?"
"Oh. She left about a half-hour ago, but she put her article in the other room." Starr gestured toward the door to the sitting room. "It's really good," she encouraged before disappearing back upstairs.
Dorian nodded and waited until Starr was gone before tossing her gloves onto the table and rushing into the other room to find Langston's work.
Amelia followed and draped her own coat over her arm as she propped her bag against the back of the couch. "Dorian… I want to apologize to you."
Dorian paused just long enough to ask, "For what?" before continuing.
Amelia wondered if Dorian had forgotten their exchange the night before. "It's just that I shouldn't have questioned you like I did yesterday after John McBain was here. It wasn't my place."
Dorian was distracted. "Already forgotten."
Amelia watched Dorian. "Do you mind if I stay and read through it, too?"
Dorian welcomed the opportunity to showcase Langston's writing talent. "Of course not – please do!"
The campaign materials that had littered the room before were cleared away, and Langston's article was bound in a purple folder with a pastel pink sticky note attached to the front of it. "Sorry I missed you," the note read. "Hope the meeting went well. Let me know if this needs to say more – or if I said too much." The note was signed with a large cursive "L" and a heart shape.
Dorian ran her thumb over the "L" before she flipped the folder open and read to herself. She stood in the middle of the floor as she poured over the editorial, so anxious to read it that she didn't take time to sit down.
Amelia stood nearby and smiled as she tried to interpret the expressions on Dorian's face. From what she could tell, Langston had written something that Dorian not only approved of, but also was touched by.
Dorian pursed her lips and released a long exhale as she paused to look up at the corner of the ceiling for a moment. When tears came to her eyes, she pretended to pace so that she could turn her back to Amelia and continue to read.
Amelia furrowed her brows in momentary concern. If Dorian had a weakness in this election, it was her girls, and Amelia knew it. The "Cramer women" were Dorian's soft spot, and the biggest threat to Dorian following through on her commitment to their upcoming gay nuptials. David was not much of a threat, as long as Dorian was on board. Amelia figured that between her own dedication and Dorian's pandering to his whims, David wouldn't be that hard to keep in check.
Still, it was heart-warming to see the secret, gentle side of Dorian. Amelia knew Dorian had turned her back on purpose so she took the hint and pulled out her laptop. She placed it on the small desk near the doors and acted as though she wasn't paying attention to Dorian.
"It sounds cliché, but words like concerned, compassionate, giving, genuine and aware are all words that describe mayoral candidate and my mother, Dorian Cramer Lord.
To many citizens of Llanview, Doctor Lord's reputation precedes her. Gossip about her past, personal life, recent political alliances, and her liberal stance on a number of relevant issues seem to be distractions.
However, long-time citizens of Llanview are also aware of the many services she has sponsored and volunteered her time to throughout the years - serving as both a doctor and the chief of staff at the hospital, playing a key role in prison reform, sponsoring various art exhibits, organizing civic functions to raise money for good causes, and representing our town and our nation as an Ambassador. She also supports the local economy through various business endeavors, and is a strong advocate for responsible family planning - supporting a woman's right to choose for herself what is best for her own well-being, as well as accepting that a strong family and a good home can define many different - even unconventional - groups of people.
What most people do not know is that Dorian Lord, despite her active involvement in her community, is an avid and passionate supporter of her own family, in every circumstance. Throughout her life, she helped care for her sisters and her nieces as well as rearing her own three daughters - including me.
As with any normal family, we have our disagreements, but I can honestly say that Dorian always has the best interests of those she loves at heart. Some might even say Dorian Lord is overzealous and overprotective when it comes to her family, but her youngest daughter could not be more grateful for those characteristics.
When I lost my parents, I was alone in the world and unable to deal with my grief. I didn't want to be alone, but at the same time, I didn't want anyone to know how alone I was. I knew that in order to survive, I had to be strong. I had to stand up, and I had to hide.
For a long time, I stood up, all by myself. Then the Cramer women - Dorian's family - found me. They taught me that I didn't have to be alone anymore, and when family services was about to remove me from my home, the town I grew up in, my school, and my friends, my best friend's Aunt Dorian learned of my situation and she stepped in without hesitation. After she brought me into this family, Dorian taught me that I could be strong, but still trust in other people who cared about me.
Simply adopting me to prevent an unpleasant circumstance was not Dorian's intention. As she has with all of "her girls," Dorian Cramer Lord opened her home and her heart, loving me with a devotion and passion that could only be rivaled by that of my own (biological) mother.
She is the core and the strength of our family. We depend on her and we take a piece of her strength with us every day. I absolutely cannot imagine myself with any other family, and I couldn't ask for a better mother.
I truly believe that, as with her family, Dorian Cramer Lord has continuously displayed her concern for, devotion to, and interest in the community of Llanview - a place she and her family have called home for many years.
Her stance on equality is no different, but that cause alone is not what defines her. What defines her is her strength and devotion to what is most important, and I can personally assure you that she has her priorities straight.
What can you say about a woman who will step in and take care of a person before they even realize they need help? How do you describe a person who goes to extreme lengths to protect the people and causes she loves? How do you characterize a woman who wants equal justice for all? What do you do to convey her relentless and generous devotion to her family, friends, and neighbors?
Are those not the qualities that this town needs to nurture it back from its reputation of corruption and the scars it garnered under recent leadership? I am here, as a person who knows Dorian Cramer Lord better than most, to tell you with complete sincerity that she deserves your vote for Llanview's next mayor."
Dorian took a deep breath and let it out as she admired the paper. Perhaps Langston had overused the word "family," but the piece was loving and very personal, and Dorian appreciated the comparison of Langston's situation with the state of the town. It filled her heart and bolstered her courage, though she could not help but wish that her Pulitzer Prize winning husband were there to read it, too – for many reasons.
A few moments after Dorian seemed to be finished reading, Amelia inquired, "Is it good?"
Dorian bit her lip as she smiled and nodded, and dabbed the corner of her eye before turning back around with a confident air. "She said I was as devoted and passionate as her biological mother," she gestured at the paper, "and that she couldn't imagine being in any other family than mine." Dorian grinned at Amelia.
Amelia returned a smile and nodded, allowing Dorian to keep the true depth of her emotions about Langston tucked away. She changed the subject. "The proofs are online if you want to check them out." She offered Dorian the use of her laptop in exchange for the purple folder.
Dorian sat down at the desk, proud and graceful, and gazed at the computer screen. She scrolled with the up and down arrows on the keyboard.
Amelia slipped to the back corner of the room to read Langston's article. She didn't expect to be as impressed with it as Dorian had been.
Dorian felt a tinge of headache at her temple and squinted as she repositioned the angle of the computer screen. She took a deep breath as she scrolled down the page of pictures, which all had neat, strategic watermarks.
She adored the second pose, in which she and Langston looked like honest-to-goodness family, with their dark eyes and hair and hands folded on top of each other. It looked traditional, even Victorian. Langston's light curls fell over her shoulder, capturing the hint of innocence and youth that still lingered in the sophisticated young lady.
There were several pictures that were similar, including one where she had taken Langston's hand and they had smiled at each other. When Dorian saw that shot, she was sure she wanted to order it and managed to use the track pad to check the box next to the picture.
She looked around at Amelia, who was leaning on the back of a chair and appeared to be in deep contemplation as she read Langston's article. She took a moment to inspect Amelia's expression, and decided it was one of interest.
Amelia was not just interested in Langston's words, but enthralled by them as she sat down to absorb what she was reading.
Being a part of Dorian's family had fulfilled the same need in Langston that being an active part of the LGLA had fulfilled in Amelia. She snuck a glance at Dorian out of the corner of her eye. If Dorian could be that person to a young girl in need of a family, she could sure as hell be an icon to people fighting for equal rights.
Without anyone even realizing it, Amelia had just bonded with Dorian. She nodded and raised her eyebrows, inspired and motivated in a way she hadn't been before.
The campaign was no longer just about helping Dorian win an election so that Amelia and the LGLA could use their candidate for their cause. She understood now that Dorian would stand up for them as long as they had her back.
It wasn't a chess game. It was a real, heart-felt, passionate fight for equality – as long as Dorian agreed. And if Amelia hadn't been convinced that Dorian was the right person for the job before, she sure was now.
Dorian was busy inspecting the next couple of pictures – the ones in which she and Langston were hugging. They were almost identical, except that in the second picture, her own eyes were closed.
Her brows furrowed and she tilted her head as she realized that she had lifted her heel to lean on her tiptoes and that Langston had bent her knees just enough to compensate for a difference in height that had been caused by the taller heels in Langston's shoes.
She frowned. The photographer should have caught that. She decided that he had seen it after the fact, since there was a cropped version of the picture that showed them from the back up.
She scrutinized the picture. It appeared that they had hugged each other with open palms that were settled on each other's backs. One of Dorian's hands had strayed upward to caress the back of Langston's head. Langston's head was turned and tilted toward Dorian's arm just enough that both of their faces were visible.
Dorian's was more of a profile – her eyes closed as if in grateful prayer or silent love as she relished the moment in her daughter's arms. Langston was smiling and looking up as if in love or inspired, happy to be receiving Dorian's embrace.
It was absolutely beautiful – a perfect moment. It took Dorian's breath away. She stared at it for a while, keeping diligent control of her emotions, in awe, until she noticed Amelia standing over her, observing.
Startled, Dorian offered her first thought. "I want this picture on billboards." She meant for it to come out as a strong statement, but her voice was quiet.
Amelia grinned and nodded as she leaned over the desk beside Dorian and moved the cursor with one hand on the track pad. She checked the selection box next to the picture and gave Dorian a concerned look when the woman sighed. "Hey, are you okay?"
Dorian nodded and smiled. "Oh, I'm fine," she offered. "A little tired. What did you think of Langston's article?"
Amelia laid the folder down next to Dorian and took her laptop to the couch. "It's great," she emphasized without elaborating on the details. "I want to sit down with her sometime tomorrow and have her stress some of the good points she made … if that's okay?"
Dorian nodded. "Why not tonight?"
Amelia looked around. She was sure that whatever movie Langston and Markko had gone to see couldn't be over yet. "When do you expect her home?"
"Oh." Dorian sighed as she held her arm out and her head back to check her watch. It wasn't even nine yet. "Well … she has been staying out all hours as of late." She scowled with disdain. "Ever since Markko and Cole got that apartment." She stared at the phone but reminded herself that Langston was a responsible young lady.
Amelia traced Dorian's gaze to the nearby phone. "Are you sure you're alright?" she asked again. "You seem a bit … on edge? You're not worried about the press, are you?"
Dorian jerked her head toward Amelia. That thought hadn't even occurred to her. She rubbed her forehead and then sighed, gesturing at the laptop Amelia held. "Langston is all grown up."
Amelia wondered, looking between the computer and Dorian's wistful expression. The wheels in her mind turned as she contemplated her new understanding of Dorian's family, and the fact that Langston and Starr were the same age. She hesitated before making the suggestion that popped into her mind. "Did you ever think about adopting another child?"
Dorian was taken aback by Amelia's suggestion. Her initial response was, "Of course not. I love my girls … my family … and the last thing we need…." She let her mind catch up before she finished her sentence. She did not want to imply that having a baby in the house was a burden. She also considered the reasons that Amelia would make such a suggestion.
Amelia lifted her brows, noting Dorian's thoughts. "You do love children. I know adoption and foster care are of concern, and it would be a good way to pull attention away from this whole marriage thing."
Dorian stood and crossed the floor to look out at the darkened terrace as she spoke. Her voice was terse. "Not to mention – yes, detracting attention from our gay marriage, but putting the focus right back on gay families and parental rights." She shot an accusing glance over her shoulder at Amelia.
"It would be putting the focus on family values. Your very strong family values," Amelia tried to convince Dorian, pointing at Langston's editorial.
Dorian slapped the top of the nearby bureau, rattling the number of small, framed pictures and vases on it. "Amelia, you're forgetting, aren't you … that we – you and I," she gestured between them, " – are lesbians together…?" She shook her head and threw her hands in the air, exasperated.
"Oh, that's right," Amelia argued with sarcasm, nodding her head at Dorian dramatically. "Right … we're lesbians … so even if we wanted to adopt a child together…."
"Oh, cut the crap, Amelia," Dorian interrupted, scolding. "Face the facts. No matter what I do – no matter how well intentioned – at this point, it is all going to be seen as one big, fat, gay political agenda! And that part ...is not-my-fault." She ran the last three words together, emphasizing them with a finger in the air.
Amelia stood and took a step toward Dorian, turning her chin as she eyed her. "How does that feel to you?" she asked. "To know that just because people see you as a lesbian, everything you do is defined by that?"
Dorian gave in and looked down at her fingernails. "Point made." She swallowed. "But." She lifted her finger back into the air as she looked up at Amelia again. "If I ever adopted again, it would be out of love – not for any agenda or election." She paused in thought. "Besides, it would be a far better strategy to adopt right before my second term, and use it to get re-elected."
Amelia grinned, very amused. "Yep," she nodded in agreement.
Dorian frowned again, frustrated and annoyed at herself for entertaining the thought. "I have a headache. I wonder if we still have those Belgian chocolates I ordered." She reminded herself not to shout as she headed for the kitchen.
Dorian could drive a person crazy, but it was endearing when it wasn't infuriating.
Amelia massaged her own forehead in thought as she turned to place the order for the photographs. She was still working on sending the order when she heard a buzzing noise coming from the foyer.
A quick investigation proved that Dorian had left her cell phone on silent mode. Before Amelia could decide whether to take the phone to the kitchen, she noticed the name on the screen.
Curious, she looked around the room and waited for the voice mail icon to appear. She moved to the far side of the stairs and tucked herself in the corner as she tried the V-pattern she had seen Dorian punch in a few times, starting with two ones.
It took a few tries to crack the code – one one zero six.
There was a long pause on the recording, as if the call had been accidental, but after several seconds a deep voice with an impatient Latin accent broke through the silence. "Dorian, I need you. You have to pick up the phone sometime. Please return my call."
Amelia's eyes widened. His request sounded more like a demand. Her mind raced in slight panic. Dorian's insistence on dodging the subject of Ray Montez was rooted in her actual avoidance of any contact with him. It seemed there was much more to it than a simple parting of the ways.
A sinking feeling in Amelia's gut told her that Ray's attempt to reach Dorian did not bode well for their campaign – or future marriage. The world slowed around her as she scrambled to delete Ray's message and the record of his call before anyone saw her with Dorian's phone. She felt justified in the fact that Dorian was already evading the man.
She gasped a sigh of relief as she placed the cell phone in the exact place on the table where she had found it and returned to her laptop to finish the order she was placing.
She wondered if she could broach the subject of Ray Montez before the night ended. She had to wonder about the terms of his departure, and she was more uneasy about Dorian's reluctance to discuss him … among other things … than ever.
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