some sunwoojin thoughts ft. duke ellington's angsty jazz piece
No greater desire exists than a wounded person's need for another wound - Bataille
Sunwoo is addicted to pain and Mujin knows exactly which specific parts of him is wounded, he knows where to find the bruises Sunwoo wants him to press on further. Sunwoo knows what it means to desire someone like him. It might lead to his own destruction and that is exactly why he chases it—a guaranteed end, a guaranteed source of fresh wounds.
Sunwoo does not intend to harm himself but he chases possibilities, he chases people that knows how to both take him down and piece him back together to make him anew. Mujin learns and loves to open up the same wounds, how to make him bleed in new yet familiar ways.
Sunwoo does not want to call it love.
Because calling it love means its everlasting. It won't have an end. Sunwoo does not like songs without endings, dances without final steps, or wounds that form scab and heals. He hates the uncertainty it implies and yet...
It's easier to understand that skin breaks when enough force is applied to it.
But, it's difficult to understand why he'd want that force to come from Mujin alone.
