YOU CREATED ATSUICHI??? OMGGGGG DUDE YOUR MIND IS AWESOME. I'm so obsessed with that ship as of late, can you how you thought of that? And what are your headcanons of them? How did it start? If you already answered these questions, LINK them please I wanna consume more.....cmore AtsuIch..sbeh
heyyy Benji! <3 i'm sorry for not replying this long... took my time to gather my thoughts, and now i'm so exсited to preach the IchiAtsu propaganda to you! ( ˘▽˘)っ♨ 💜🧡
first things first, s3 ep15 is where all the IchiAtsu / AtsuIchi juice is concentrated. i love this skit so much. it's cute, and it adds a good portion of complexity to Atsushi's character, so that he now proudly wears the "rich but lonely & depressed normie" title.
and it got me thinking: what exactly was so rousing in Ichimatsu's words? what made Atsushi turn 180° and put his shoes back on?
did he finally meet a person who understands?
let's disregard the fact that this is a comedy anime for a moment. first, we hear Atsushi screaming “As if you could understand my pain!”, and then Choromatsu says stuff like "we all have it rough, you'll get through this just like everyone else" to him, further trivialising his feelings, his struggles, even his personality. such words make Ichimatsu explode with rage. “It's because guys like you exist that I want to die!” he yells. now put that sentence next to Atsushi's.
and i believe it was Ichimatsu's ranting about how nobody is the same that helped Atsushi feel validated and assured that he's not stuck like this all alone. Ichimatsu claims that life sucks because nobody is the same. life sucks because nobody truly understands your pain.
so maybe... maybe Atsushi decided to keep on living to find an understanding friend. Ichimatsu gave him that hope.
i love how Ichimatsu then goes "i didn't do shit, it was your decision", strengthening their mutual understanding and [surprisingly] respect.
Atsushi and Ichimatsu are different, but they're the same.
...moreover, the movie establishes that they knew each other in high school, or at least hung out within Yanagita's group. a nice bonus.
and you know... people usually carry a 'weight' on their shoulders when they end up on a rooftop edge. society tends to idolise masculinity, pushing the common stereotype/pressure that "boys don't cry", hence emotional vulnerability is kind of taboo amongst some men, and this is why they never seek any help regarding their mental health. i think that might be the case for Atsushi too—he was suppressing and tolerating pain until it exploded.
Atsushi's girlfriend arriving when the situation is already resolved was interesting, too... this could be because: a) she was too far away and the road took her this long; b) Atsushi didn't leave any notes/goodbyes; c) she doesn't care. i prefer all the options combined.
i also love how there's so many room for scenarios you can make up for Atsushi despite him being just a barely shown side-character... you can have sugar daddy Atsushi. you can have pathetic Atsushi. you can have secretly unhinged Atsushi. the possibilities are limitless....
– –
these were my thoughts about canon IchiAtsu. now i invite you to enter the fan-made IchiAtsu territory~
i have several AUs in mind, which i'll probably post sometime later. right now i feel like diving into gloomy IchiAtsu co-fic me and @tetrimidion have been working on, which Tet mentioned in this reply earlier. ♡
further talk will be all about that AU. i also included some of my art i haven't posted here yet! :3 (featuring a lil collab with Tet! ☆)
disclaimer: long post, toxic yaoi, dark & adult themes. i filter neither my mouth nor my imagination.
so why don't we start our introduction with... birds! :D to capture a visual reference of their personalities and get some associations going. Ichimatsu is a gloomy, mysterious raven, and your personal guide to afterlife... while Atsushi is a handsome bleeding-heart dove, and his heart is bleeding from all that unrequited love and inner struggles! his clipped wings serve as a metaphor for crippling depression.
and, oh boy, do i even need to tell you that this dove is going to be eaten alive...
also, check out this funny little chart we made!
now, onto your questions~
how did it start
plot-wise, it started from a car accident... and to avoid repeating Tet, i'm gonna tell you how it started feelings-wise. òwó
it started with a one-sided crush Atsushi had on Ichimatsu in high school.
i adore metaphors, so... let's imagine that love has a physical form. in Atsushi's case, the form of love would be Filariae. those are little worms that live in your blood. inside your veins, they travel through your body and infest your organs, your heart, your brain. a 'lovesick' term gains an entirely new meaning now, doesn't it?
it started with an infection.
and instead of treating that infection, Atsushi's actions only created more pleasant climate for it to thrive. he stalked Ichimatsu while nobody was looking. he lied to Ichimatsu that he needed help with his English in order to spend more time with Ichi. he dwelled on his delusions and fantasies. without anybody suspecting anything.
it rotted him so terminally that 'loving Ichimatsu' became his whole identity. Atsushi's heart and brain were (and still are) infested with lil Ichi worms. ♪
and one day he acted on his feelings; he was so 'sick' that he couldn't control himself anymore. it was Ichimatsu's birthday, a lovely event that Ichi, Atsushi, Yanagita and Uchikawa shared at karaoke. Atsushi got them all drunk and then instigated his classmates to pressure Ichi into performing a "job" with his mouth for everyone. everyone except Atsushi, as he was the cameraman and he craved to have a bit of Ichi "guilt-free" (and because he was homophobic towards himself, this is also the reason why he never confessed and, in fact, hated his own feelings).
Atsushi wanted Ichimatsu to feel loved and cherished on his birthday, but this went quite not the way he intended...
of course, he was drowning in guilt and regret after this mistake. however, he kept the recording of this horrific event in his phone, because it was the only way to see—to feel Ichimatsu again.
and years later, all of this backfired right through his stupid skull. Ichimatsu caught him in his paws. but eating this little helpless bird right away wouldn't be a fair justice. he wants Atsushi to suffer. first, he will teach the birdie how to fly, and theeen...~
things will get crazier once Ichimatsu realises that Atsushi has no recollection of the karaoke incident whatsoever. turns out the prick bribed his doctor into prescribing meds that shouldn't be prescribed during Atsushi's mental collapse. the pills are meant to treat insomnia, but they may cause memory losses if used irresponsibly—and of course Atsushi abused the hell out of it, inducing amnesia on himself over and over again until he forgot the painful memories that were on his mind every single day, including the video. this will surely come in handy for Ichimatsu, as he plans to plant a fake sense of security into his former classmate first. only then will he gladly remind Atsushi everything, on sadistic language.
but... there is a probability that Ichimatsu may start feeling the symptoms, too. which he cannot allow to happen. he cannot allow Atsushi to infect him.
headcanons
💜🧡 see the height difference? Atsushi absolutely is going to be a pesky brat about it, as this is his only advantage.
💜🧡 IchiAtsu do share one thing in common. chronic depression, that is.
💜🧡 Ichimatsu is a chief of police, and Atsushi works at Toyota as a manager. they're both rich but Ichimatsu possesses more power and money in his paws.
💜🧡 in this story, Atsushi's background is rather tragic. as a child, he witnessed a heartbreaking divorce of his parents, and his obnoxious narcissistic mother overly relied on him to make her happy. she pressured Atsushi to be the prime example, the best of the best, often neglecting her son's feelings. when Atsushi moved out, he really started to feel that emptiness, because his accomplishments weren't for himself but for his mother.
💜🧡 ...which is why Atsushi is unable to be content within himself—he was taught that he can find happiness only by making the other dominant figure happy. and since he has a deep emotional entanglement with Ichimatsu, he will be subconsciously attracted to pleasing and impressing him. Ichimatsu is his dopamine pill.
💜🧡 dozens of cats live in Ichimatsu's apartment. the punishment for stepping on someone's tail will be merciless. disturbing the kitties is also a ticket to Ichimatsu's secret bdsm & torture room.
💜🧡 Atsushi loves his car more than anything in this world (rip), hence he named her and he treats her like a girl, even calling her pet names! he has a thing for naming his belongings of a greater significance: almost every smart device in his home has a name.
💜🧡 Ichimatsu is an anthropophagist, and he has a special interest in his victim's eyes—not only because it's a nutritious delicacy but also because he collects the little 'gems' ("souls") that are located inside them: the crystalline lens. he keeps those as valuable trophies and memories. one day he might show Atsushi his 'gem collection'; or maybe Atsushi will eventually become a part of this collection, who knows...
💜🧡 ah, yes, Atsushi is heterosexual because of society pressure. but don't worry, Ichimatsu will kindly help him to embrace his gayness. ♡
💜🧡 ...and Atsushi has (had) a girlfriend, but alas in this relationship his love is one-sided too, and Atsushi is clearly manipulated, but is oblivious, as he desperately needs love and affection which he conveniently gets to stay on the leash. besides that, Atsushi's brain is stuck in amatonormativity, which combined with childhood traumas puts him in this awkward position of needing the significant other to devote his life to.
💜🧡 actually, Ichimatsu was smitten with love once. and his love interest was murdered by his own hands.
💜🧡 regarding intimacy, Atsushi is boldly sure he's the hot seme guy. however, a few heated sessions with Ichimatsu convinced him that he in fact cannot resist the thrill of submissiveness—he loves the attention and he loves being tamed. but don't expect him to submit that easily—Atsushi is smug and playful, he knows his worth and he will compete with Ichimatsu for that sweet "Daddy" title.
💜🧡 Ichimatsu's sense of love is different, and his ways of expressing it are not what you usually expect. you're screwed the moment he glances at you. and the moment he drags you into his dungeon—you're basically dead, because his practices are unsafe, insane and non-consensual. he follows safety protocols only on his job. during these moments, Ichimatsu isn't hiding his darker side and acts sincere, allowing you to see what's on his mind—that means he loves you. or he hates you. or both.
💜🧡 and while Atsushi's touches are affectionate and modest, Ichimatsu's are passionate and controlling:
💜🧡 one particular nightmare haunted Atsushi for years, involving 18 y.o. Ichi tearing Atsushi's throat apart, literally. thus Ichimatsu nipping at his neck or squeezing it with his hands easily sets Atsushi at panic. but after a certain point... he discovers that he actually doesn't mind being at Ichimatsu's mercy... no, he loves it too much. Death is Atsushi's fetish.
💜🧡 and what are Ichimatsu's fetishes? well... tears n' blood n' guts n' stuff... compliments, too. he may act like Atsushi's praises don't affect him at all, but in reality he's secretly feeding off of it and power tripping like he's on opioids. dude is very insecure about demonstrating his feelings as he believes letting it slide will hurt his composure and put him in danger (so why risking it when you can just prevent it, right?).
💜🧡 will never Atsushi's body be free of Ichimatsu's marks. different kinds of marks. may it be the love bites, the knife, or even the smell...
💜🧡 Ichimatsu's voice sets Atsushi ablaze in seconds, and an adoringly whispered praise or a tease will instantly send him on euphoric bliss. Atsushi loves the addictive feverish feeling when the sensations of Ichimatsu spread throughout his body. he loves Ichimatsu being inside him, one way or another.
💜🧡 Atsushi is a virgin! he's a demisexual and thus he isn't interested in pursuing hookups. and his first time with Ichimatsu will last exactly 8 seconds (then he'll have to survive through overstimulation and mockery)...
💜🧡 Ichimatsu loves dressing Atsushi up in various women's clothing—preferably lingerie—which makes Atsushi feel quite dysphoric and irritated as he thinks that Ichimatsu does this just because he wants a woman. eventually Atsushi will get used to wearing stockings on a daily basis.
💜🧡 Atsushi's hobbies are billiards and poker; he adores games that require strategy/skill with a portion of gambling/luck. he studies people through these games and he loves dragging Ichi into playing to explore the other and see what he's plotting. however, Atsushi struggles to read Ichimatsu's mind and predict his actions, because Ichimatsu is too chaotic, and because he never knew the real Ichi. (in addition, Ichimatsu will get Atsushi his own table pool, which they'll use at home totally not for intended purposes ;P)
💜🧡 Ichimatsu loves art and drawing! no, not just with blood and viscera but also with a regular pen and paper! he often comes up with the most extraordinary artistic ideas, and sometimes Atsushi is his model/muse (but posing while being desperate for release is veeery embarrassing for Atsushi).
💜🧡 in captivity, and especially upon regaining memories, Atsushi eventually starts catching up that the current adult Ichimatsu he's trapped with is not the cute little Ichi he had fallen for in high school. He subconsciously separates ichimatsu into 2 different versions, constantly comparing these two—this awakes even more intense guilt and regret, as Atsushi loves and misses younger Ichi dearly. It leads him to a conclusion that he was the main reason that broke Ichimatsu, and develops a stockholm syndrome.
💜🧡 Atsushi shaves and does skincare. he will hate shaving his ass for Ichimatsu though.
and that's it for now. thank you for reading through this mess! :D hope you're having a blast with this ship just like we do! <3
I LOVE COLLABORATIVE SOTRYTELLING I LOVE CREATING THINGS TOGETHER I LOVE "YES AND"ING WITH OTHERS I LOVE "NO BUT WHAT ABOUT-"S I LOVE HEARIJG MY FRIENDS' IDEAS I LOVE BOUNDING OFF OF THEM I LOVE ART I LOVE STORIES I LOVE ALL THE DIFFERENT PASSIONS AND SKILLS REQUIRED I LOVE ALL THE DIFFERENT MEDIA IT TAKES I LOVE I LOVE I LOVE
and THIS just makes it better. i mean worse. of all things, why are you posting the DARK WEB links publicly!?!? are you out of your mind!?!?!?!?!?! that's ILLEGAL! i'm screenshotting your despicable crimes, the evidence speaks for itself.
omygosh I did not know it was my pal's birthday today! So I made a quick little sketch gift for @llllllllllowollllllllllll ✨ Happy birthday, please have some IchiAtsu on me!
goodness gracious the tags won't be enough i'M DROOLING over this!!!! thank you sooo much for this marvelous treat, this is exactly what i've been musing over a lot yyay!! o(>ω<)o AND an adjective dictionary wouldn't be enough to describe how much i love this piece!!!! gosh the colors are so vibey, shading is so skillful, and i adore every little detail.... _(:3 」∠)_ daddy ichimatsu? gorgeous as always. atsushi? dominated. my eyes? locked in. my mind? squeaking.
— all anglerfish are carnivorous and are thus adapted for the capture of prey by using their "fishing rod" with a "lure". when the prey is close enough, they ambush their victims with a rapid snap of their jaws.
another ship collab with randomised AUs !! with @tetrimidion !! ✧₍^. .^₎⟆
last book: If audiobooks count, Every Day I Read by Hwang Bo-Reum. It's a collection of essays about how to get the most out of reading, and it really made me reflect on my own reading journey and gave me some solid insight on how to better absorb what I read (the irony is not lost on me that I listened to a book about reading rather than actually, physically reading it lol).
last song: "On The Way" by AiNA THE END (I've had an ongoing DanDaDan fixation for the last year and I adore the OPs/EDs).
last movie: My goal this year is to watch more movies but I have been failing miserably at that haha...pretty sure my last one was Persepolis about a month ago.
last series: I'm still slowly making my way through The Apothecary Diaries anime and plan to read the light novels once I catch up. I've also been reading The Murderbot Diaries series off and on and love it, I need to catch up before the next book.
salty or sweet: I have a major sweet tooth, though sometimes my preference depends on my mood.
coffee or tea: Tea!! But is that really a surprise lol
working on: Work has been severely kicking my ass and draining all my time and motivation lately but I have been slowly chipping away at my (extremely delayed) Whumpuary fics, my current one focuses on Pomni having (yet another) existential spiral in the aftermath of the events of episode 7 (it may or may not be sliiightly biased toward my favorite ship at that haha).
Tagging @bluebelleisabelle @professionaloverthinker21 @flannychan @saintcopia @stormoftara @ghostghidorah @moondust009 @applehawk and @deleonemily if you'd like to join! (Absolutely no pressure if not!)
THihi!!! Thank you so much for the tag!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Last book: Colibrís de los Andes de Mérida (Hummingbirds from Mérida's Andean region). It's a lovely book I bought on my recent trip to. Well. Mérida. I got to feed the local hummingbirds as well jfjfjsnfnbfn they got so close!!! What beautiful little creatures!!! but if we're going by the last book I literally picked up it was a vegetarian cuisine collection which I'm using to make my lunch rn. onomnomnom...
Last song: Unmei? By Rentaro Family. 100 Kanojo has me in a chokehold Lord HAVE MERCY.
Last movie: Jujutsu Kaisen 0. I need to watch more movies, that was a while ago...
Last series: I finished 100 Kanojo yesterday!! I'm trying to heal after watching all of Jujutsu Kaisen...
Salty or sweet: Salty! But sometimes I do have my sugar cravings... I also like eating something salty right after something that was too sweet and vice versa for some reason.
Working on: getting better at drawing gjwjfkskf... It's tough but I don't wanna give up just yet.....
I'm curious about you guys!!! (but feel free to ignore) @rottenaf-14 @great-tusk @akatsuka-rocket @tetrimidion
(Thank you for tagging me @maybe-benjamin !!! Love to see you working on drawing still!)
last book: American Psycho; (I legit think they wanted it banned just because it mentioned so many brands by name, the anti-capitalist message, and they just used the violence in it as a cover)
last song: "darmatic" - Cat & Calmell
♪ You tell me that you love me
Then you go 'head and you choke me ♪
last movie: Send Help; (Bless the guy in the theater that was laughing so loud every time there was any violence occurring.)
last series: YOU; (I am OBSESSED [pun intended]. I cannot believe I waited so long to watch something so yandere lmao)
salty or sweet: Spicy
coffee or tea: Tea all the way. I mean like... 4 cups of tea a day and I'm not even British.
working on: My Loose Ends fic!! Currently on chapter 14 where Karamatsu FINALLY reunites with Ichimatsu. 90k+ words in and there will FINALLY be a kiss between them lol
Tagging: (Damn I don't even follow 100 blogs yet... so don't really know 9 people to tag lol... um... @fuladarisdayotim @thatsthewrongwallcraig @llllllllllowollllllllllll @dada-dandy @wohore @kenatastic @jlakwesha @knownsourdrop
yayy thank you @tetrimidion, and it's so funny that iro reunited at exactly “ichi's numbers” chapter loool
last book: pathogenesis of bacterial infections in animals, 5th edition :D
i listen to short audiobooks at work, today's star was “the jaunt” by stephen king, i loved it soo much ♡
last song: ♪Another Day's Armor – Death Investing
if rp IchiAtsu had their thriller movie, this would be the trailer/credits song ✨
last movie: constantine. rewatched to muse about an osomatsu-san crossover with it ~ xD
last series: i'm hopping between “you” and “twin peaks” rn, huuge inspos
salty or sweet: i'm addicted to that one milka chocolate with a salty tuc cookie
coffee or tea: green tea & herbal tea
working on: ...IchiAtsu.....writing IchiAtsu......and drawing IchiAtsu.....and writing.......a-and drawing......the hyperfixation flows through my veins.........
Помню ваши арты ещё с вк, очень приятно найти и здесь! 💕 надеюсь найдёте ещё время на это прекрасное явление природы 💙караосо❤️
простите за долгий ответ! хихиххи спасибо за тёплые слова, мне очень отрадно !! ♡♡ ♡
продолжаю поддерживать популяцию караосо в священном караосо заповеднике и не планирую останавливаться, у меня ещё много-много идей ~ ~ ⸜( >ω< )⸝ 💙❤️💙❤️
(↓ наглый карамацу, ломающий субординацию – моё guilty pleasure 🤌✨)
