✨hark!✨

a prayer to live within

[nemfrog]

"Biela's Comet on January 15 (1846), after its division in two." Mysteries of time and space. 1883.

Internet Archive

[llxxh]

i’m running out of time. when have i done enough?

[llxxh]

i want it deeply and tenderly. enthusiastic and devoted. i want love that awakens me

[llxxh]

some days it aches how badly i yearn to be loved

[llxxh]

i never have been able to stop believing in magic. ironically, it’s been an awful long time since i’ve felt any

[kosmogrl]

there’s something very beautiful about being able to try again tomorrow

[llxxh]

a huge piece of me is still stuck in the heart & mind of a 17 year old. i want to grow up. i want to let go. i haven’t become who i thought id be by now. what did my soul get caught on?

[llxxh]

i long to surrender to my own divinity. i wish to open up & let in. show me the way

[llxxh]

time is perpetually my greatest enemy

[llxxh]

trying to reconcile that my greatest truth, my raw being, the harmony of my soul, is buried deeper than i think i will ever reach in this lifetime. i don’t know that there is an end i can reach thru this chase, with this digging. i don’t know what the point of it all is or was. i don’t know what purpose it serves to give me the hint, taste, sliver. and then so loudly, forever, the absence. i hope that i have, and thru the future feats of my life, i am somehow working toward loosening and uncovering those painful roots, compact with ancient dirt, that are wrapped so tightly around my ultimate liberation, self actualization. my becoming.

[llxxh]

suddenly you’re far from me again. a faint whisper in the back of my mind

[llxxh]

show me how. where.

[nemfrog]

Nervous system. Modern Biology. 1947.

Internet Archive

[nemfrog]

Insects, arachnids, crustaceans and myriapods (centipedes/millipedes). ""IIIe Tableau d'histoire naturelle : Animaux articulés." Atlas Universel des Sciences. 1839.

David Rumsey Map Collection

[llxxh]

i was meant to be something divine. i was meant to radiate and dominate. but it seems i lost the plot

[llxxh]

it is about me & myself now.

i want so badly to love myself

[llxxh]

the concept which had previously always been much too painful to entertain, is now bizarrely so liberating. for the first time, i’m not trying to justify if i’m allowed to feel this way based on your experience. i’ve tested it, ive peeled and i’ve opened. and the feelings do not go away. they are innate within me. and i gush for you. i know this much to be true and real with certainty, i do think it’s been long enough to say so. i’m letting myself feel it and im not waiting for permission to do so. it never radiated very far before id suck it back inside and try to rationalize before allowing myself a sliver of a feeling; it’s felt like a giant thorn pierced thru my heart all these years. it still bleeds red but i will keep flowing thru the pain until the water runs clear. im setting myself free