mae ⚯ ͛ @locakittencore - Tumblr Blog

Jun 25

Nothing but You

Pairing: Benjamin Poindexter x Reader

Warning: spoilers, Dex is obsessive, self doubt (Dex), reader is a bit morally grey, violence, kidnapping and threats (not by Dex), violence, smut- they fuck on a plane (not in the bathroom that’s gross and big boy isn’t fitting in there), unprotected p in v, oral (f receiving),unbeta’d

Semi-sequel to this but can be read on its own but basically they’re soulmates. Reader was Matts sister in the original but it’s not a hugeee plot point.

Why is this so long

You’d slept beside him the first night you’d met. The same night your timer had hit zero the same time as his.

Nothing had happened other than you’d fed him, made him a coffee, changed his gauze, checked his stitches and then you’d curled up to lie beside him on the tiny bed, your hand on his side over the bandage as you chatted to him about anything and everything.

But for the first time in a long time, Dex had felt something he never thought he’d have; peace. In a hideout he was hauled to by Daredevil of all people.

In the church mere moments before Murdock had returned for him, Dex had wanted to die. Fisk’s wife was going to die. He’d balanced the scales. Foggy Nelson for Vanessa Fisk. The turmoil Vanessa had inflicted on Dex by hauling him out of the mental institution, heavily medicated to do one last hit for her had been exchanged for the turmoil Fisk would be going through losing her.

Now he wondered how he could ever be so selfish. Not regarding Fisk, hell no. Dex couldn’t give a damn about Fisk. He’d launch anything he could get his hands on through his skull if he got the chance. No, Dex felt selfish because by wanting to die he almost denied you your soulmate in him.

How could he have died doing that to you. How could he die without ever having experienced you caring for him like he was deserving of your gentle touches.

You meeting him on the day he’d been determined to level the scales and almost died doing was a sign that maybe he was good. Not in the way of Matt Murdock who vowed to never take a life not even when the person deserved to die or Spider-Man who swung through New York taking on supervillains but maybe it was a sign he wasn’t completely fucked in the head like he’d thought.

The clock had ticked past 2am before he’d given in to tiredness and had fallen asleep. Finally finally finally realising that he wouldn’t hurt you by holding you and that you weren’t going to get up and go, he’d held you vice tight against him and almost felt his heart constrict when rather than roll away, you’d cuddled into him tighter, throwing a leg over his and holding on to him and burrowed into his chest

A lifetime of abandonment, being used as disposable and being treated like he didn’t matter and you were slowly undoing that one thing at a time…showing him Benjamin Poindexter could be loved and god how he loved you;

You sought his touch.

You wanted him to hold you.

You liked that he was clingy because you were too.

He’d killed with little regard, betrayed his friends and colleagues, hurt people…innocent people, manipulated others, been institutionalised, been in prison, but you were here and cuddling into him like you wanted to merge with him and live in him.

Dex for once in his life felt like he could relax. He’d previously desperately sought approval, tried to make friendships when it seemed inorganic and panicked, shutting down when people left but not you.

Pretty much immediately he’d decided that you were his sign that he was good, deserving and nothing would ever take you from him. It was like to you he was already the man he wanted to be which to a man like Benjamin Poindexter was a lifeline he never thought he’d get.

A lifeline he’d do anything to protect

****

You hadn’t expected the AVTF to find out about you and Dex. How could they know but somehow, someone had found out you were his soulmate and that’s how you ended up being hauled into the back of a van on the way from your favourite pastry shop and taken the top floor of some dilapidated building.

“Welcome back.”

The bag was yanked from your head and as you looked around trying to get a grasp on your surroundings; a man in a faded AVTF uniform fifties, slapped your cheek.

“You’re just in time for the show”

“What are you talking about? Who are you!” You blinked at the man in front of you. AVTF uniform, abandoned building, other men around.

You couldn’t be a hostage… Were you bait? Why did they have you here and not hand you over to one of the many police units Fisk had in his pocket?

You had to be bait.

“Hi honey.” Another voice came from across the room and you looked over, your gaze landing on a man dressed in an imitation of your boyfriend’s suit and mask setting up a sniper by the window “Can I have a kiss?”

The AVTF men accompanying him roared with laughter.

“Go give your boyfriend a kiss, sweetheart.” The first man cooed and dragged you by the arm over to a radiator beside the sniper and shoved you into a chair, tying your hand behind your back

“Oh please, if they were going to find someone to dress up like Dex, they could have at least picked someone with a bit of muscle. You’re far too skinny.” You eyed the man in the costume.

It wasn’t untrue. Dex was built broad, thick shoulders, big biceps and strong abs. This imposter definitely wasn’t.

The man in the mock Bullseye suit glared at you. Impressive that you could tell you’d gotten under his skin by just his eyes.

“That’s enough of you” he said and looped one handcuff around the restraints on your wrist to the heater. “Keep talking and see what happens.”

Gritting your teeth, you rose your eyes to meet his “He’s going to find me and when he does, you’re going to be so dead...”

One of the other AVTF goons walked across the room, shoving his teammate out of the way, raised a hand and slapped you hard across the face and scoffed. He leant in close to you and squished your face between his thumb and forefinger.

“Oh I’m going to love this, I’m going to hand you over to Fisk myself…maybe Murdock can get you and the blond bitch both matching cells...we have shoot on sight for your boyfriend…” he squeezed your face hard, a manic gleam in his eyes “Although if I got my way, I’d put the four of you in a van, shoot you all and bury you in a hole like you deserve but the mayor wants a spectacle…”

You brought your head forward and headbutted him as hard as you could. The second you made contact, you felt a blinding pain in your head from where you’d made contact with the man’s face. Eyes blinking, the pain away you looked at the man who’d reeled back, his lip now bleeding heavily.

“Drop dead.” You said matter of factly, gritting your teeth.

“Fucking bitch. I’m going to kill you!”

He wiped it away although it was fruitless as the wound just started bleeding again.

The man lunged for you, tipped your chair back, rose his hand and slapped you once, twice, three times before he stopped, pausing hand raised momentarily distracted by…something…

“What the fuck was that?” He snarled at you as if you’d know, before turning to growl at his fellow Taskforce. “Someone’s in the hall…Evans go check…”

One of the younger Taskforce bounded to the door with enthusiasm and disappeared into the stairway. You couldn’t hear anything from the ringing in your ears but as the man lay a fourth slap across your face, he paused once more.

“Fuck! Poindexter’s in the building. Get eyes on him!! Someone shoot-…” One managed to call upon sight of his disposed of colleagues before he was cut off

You grinned ear to ear “Oh you’re so fucked.” The second Dex saw you, the bruise forming on your cheek, you knew he’d make it hurt.

The man watched in confusion as a blade richoeted from a wall into two guards, the pair of them landing in a heap before another one collapsed, knife embedded into his head

“Where the fuck-…”

Within two seconds, the man who’d been gripping you fell to a heap on the floor, choking on his own blood, a gurgling mess.

The fake Bullseye, the poor imitation of the man you loved, attempted to draw his weapon but Dex was too quick, dispatching him in a split second.

“Baby.”

He approached you, stepping over the guy he’d deliberately left bleeding out on the floor as if he wasn’t even there. He pulled off the mask and started checking your face. “Are you okay?”

How could he have let this happen to you. He never should have let you out of his sight. Maybe you’d realise he wasn’t worthy of you, that he was pathetic and you’d leave him. God he was being rough with you, fuck.

He withdrew his hand from your face.

“Dex…” you mumbled “you saved me, you saved me.” You repeated and he broke out into a relived smile.

You weren’t mad, you were looking at him like he was a hero

He cupped your face and kissed you on the mouth.

“One second baby.” Dex turned and flicked another knife into his copy still spluttering on the floor. “Poser.” He jerked his head at the mock up Bullseye which made your hand fly to your mouth to surpass a laugh.

“I can’t believe they got a fake you” you said “No one can do what do you, Dex, how would that even work?”

God he loved you. He grinned at you.

“It didn’t. He tried. He’s dead.” Dex looked at the man was lying in a pool of his own blood “

“You laughed again. God this situation was absurd.

Dex cut your ties and helped you up.

“That woman…Vanessa” her name felt heavy on his tongue “Fisk’s wife…she’s dead. Died from…because of me.” Dex said “It’s why they came for you. I’m sorry”

He leant down and pressed his forehead to yours.

You knew he meant ‘Sorry they came for you’. Dex didn’t have a shred of regret over Vanessa Fisk’s death and you didn’t blame him after what she did to him.

“Shit Dex, does that mean…Fisk is going to kill us both”

“He won’t. I’m coming to take you away,”

“Take me away? Take me where?”

“You’ll see, I just have something to do first.” He said masking up again and moving back to the sniper.

****

Mr Charles, or Mr Robinson, (Dex was unsure; he seemed to flip between the two) had approached him on the way to yours a week ago. Dex had no idea how this man had got into your place and he’d launched a paperweight at the man’s head before the man had ducked out of the way and thrown both his arms up

‘Relax, I’m no threat. I’m a recruiter’

The man had gotten up off your sofa and approached casually like he hadn’t just had a projectile launched at him by a vigilante on the most wanted list and relayed an “opportunity”.

Special operations.

Dex wasn’t an idiot. He knew that “special operations” was likely CIA work or at least adjacent but more importantly to Dex; it was an out for him and you, a chance for a new life wherein he could both set about righting his wrongs and give you the life you deserved.

God he just wished he’d met you sooner.

Maybe if he’d met you when he was FBI, you’d have had a normal life. No kids obviously, Dex had already decided on that. He didn’t want to share you. He’d have asked you to marry him early and done it quickly…registry office, unnamed witnesses. There was something romantic about eloping and being soulmates, his reason would be ‘why not we’re made for each other’. The old FBI jacket you’d borrow of his made it look like his last name was yours and the thought of that one day being true was exhilarating.

If he had still gotten caught up with Fisk, if you’d have waited for him, supported him through those eighteen months of painful rehab, stayed with him when he was put into the institution, visited him. Of course you would. You were his soulmate, his North Star, you’d never ever have left him... you’d have probably argued with the nurses that you can’t just medicate a patient until they’re out of their mind like he was

Maybe then he’d have never taken that woman’s offer and maybe he’d have eventually gotten stable…

This opportunity was his real second chance. To level the scales, prove he was good, give you a life. He might not have met you when he still had some semblance of a normal life but maybe he could give you a good life even if not a conventional one.

The offer from Mr. Charles came with protection for you while he was away, which was ridiculous. No one could protect you better than he could. Dex wouldn’t allow it anyway. Other men? protecting his North Star? Never gonna happen. He didn’t trust other people to protect you.

Dex wasn’t stupid, he didn’t expect you staking out in a snipers nest; waiting for him to take the shot, but he wanted you at his accommodation so he could come home to you. Coming back to you so you could kiss his face and cosy up to him and remind me him he was good and not broken and irreparably fucked in the head…

He pictured it sometimes

You pressed on to your tiptoes, kissing him and asking him how it went and slowly carding his hair from were it had been tousled under his mask, scratching his scalp with your nails and he’d tell you as much as he could while you praised him and told him how good he was, how proud of him you were and how much you adored him.

The thought of waiting years for his soulmate only to have you pulled away from him was too painful to think about. There was no way he was going anywhere without you so he’d cut a deal which is how you’d both come to be in the first class suite of an aircraft that wouldn’t show up on any flight tracker. No customs, gates or security. Driven straight onto the runway in a blacked out sedan, luggage loaded on by a man who checked you out until he saw Dex was staring daggers into him

***

As soon as you were in the air, you unbuckled your belt, tucked your legs up under you and put your head on his chest before picking up his hand and playing with his fingers, sensing the tension in his jaw from the leering luggage handler.

Dex knew he’d never take this for granted, how casually affectionate you were with him. It’s like you could sense he was still nervous to initiate the gentler things but how much he wanted them. You didn’t seem to mind how clingy he was with you or how much he needed you. If anything you actively encouraged it. You always carding his hair when he’d pull you close the second you sat near him, how needy he’d be; letting him put his old FBI jacket with his name on it around your shoulders.

Or you’d do Dex’s favourite… which was exactly what you were doing now, and just play with his hands… Hands that have killed dozens and you love them.

“I love your hands” you said tracing his knuckles, feeling the callouses and scars and toying with his thumb. “You have really nice hands”

“All for you.” He said in response. He’d always felt a little weird with expressing emotions, always struggled with understanding others but not with you. It was easier with you. You were the only thing he was certain of.

You lifted your head just to peck his cheek, right over his scar. “I love you.”

Those words got him every time. When he woke up with nightmares of you discovering he was fucked in the head, a mess, not worthy of you and you getting sick of him and leaving, you’d card his hair and whisper how much you loved him. You gave the love, the attention and the care he craved so willingly and without question.

He’d never said ‘I love you’ to a single soul until you. Not his parents, no extended family, not anyone he’d been on dates with… not that he’d really dated, he’d been set up once or twice when colleagues wives in the FBI had heard he was single and wanted to pair him with a friend. They weren’t his soulmate so what was the point. He couldn’t do casual so he didn’t really bother until you.

Dex didnt even think he was capable of loving someone or being loved until you and maybe his version of love wasn’t the fairytale textbook version people thought about but it was yours which in his eyes made it all the more real

He took a low breath and pressed a gentle kiss to your head in a manner that showed he was still practicing gentleness

“I love you.” He said back and with that, Dex hauled you onto his lap and began pushing your hair back so he could kiss you and shower little lip brushes over your neck.

“Not on the seats please, there’s beds up there if you want to…canoodle”

The voice of Mr Charles, or, as he was now going by Mr Robinson pulled you from the moment and you felt your face heat up.

“Sorry, I’ll…” you started to say at the same time as Dex linked your hands and began lifting you out of your seat with a “We’ll be back.”

“Don’t rush on my accord” the man called with a smirk.

****

Dex lead you down to the door to the first class suite, complete with a bed. You’d never seen anything like it. The size of the area was almost like a hotel room and you could almost forget you were on a plane and the second the door was shut, you lay down and pulled Dex down beside you grateful for the privacy

“What’s on your mind, baby.” Your hand slid up his neck and cupped his cheek, your thumb caressing that deep scar.

“That guy loading our bags was looking at you.” Dex said “He turned around and looked at your ass. I nearly put this through his neck.” Dex reached into his pocket and fished out a coin. “Looking at you like some creep.”

You sighed.

“You’re jealous.” You said knowingly. It wasn’t a tease. It was a ‘I know you, it’s okay,’. You’d never ever provoke his insecurities. That wasn’t you; you understood him, you knew how it ate away at him.

Dex opened his mouth as if to protest and then remembered your words. You hated nonchalance, you didn’t mind how obsessive he was. It was still something he was wrapping his brain around.

“I’m a bit jealous.“ he conceded with a wry smile. “Also I don’t like men leering at you. It’s…creepy.”

Dex flicked the coin onto the bedside table and moved his hands to hold your hip, he always held tight, almost too tight but never to hurt.

The little grin that came over your face. God you weren’t lying when you said you hated nonchalance.

“You have nothing to be jealous of. I don’t want anyone else, I want you” you said. “I only want you, Dex. You’re more than enough for me. It’s me and you forever”

You could never imagine a world where Benjamin Poindexter was not your soulmate now. And if you could you wouldn’t want to live in it.

“You’re so gorgeous…” you resumed kissing his neck, mumbling in between the kisses you laid over him. “Big boy.”

Dex blinked “is that good?”

Dex was cute when he was oblivious. You knew he worked out, he’d do press ups every morning, sometimes asking you to sit on his hips when he did it and there was a sizeable weight under your bed that he’d lift and smile at you when you stared directly at the flex of his bicep but this man had no idea how hot he was.

To Dex he was “okay”

A giggle escaped your lips into his neck.

“Yes. It’s very good. I love how big you are” you said and enjoyed the heat creep up his neck.

He couldn’t have had much experience or at least, he had to be out of practice... A year in prison and before that several in an institution, not that you cared, you’d never had that discussion. He was too jealous for it and you didn’t care…he was just so good, so naturally instinctual with his hands, that you couldn’t bring yourself to care

They carved up your hips and under your t shirt which he lifted off you, breaking the contact between your lips for only a few seconds.

“Mmm” you hummed against his lips which elicited a low groan from him that made you press your hips to his.

“Baby.” He stated.

You kept kissing him. His lips, his eyelids, his forehead, his nose, his jaw, his cheek with that scar that cut into his flesh, jagged and deep, his other cheek.

“Baby.” Dex said again, with a little smile as you moved to his neck “You’re teasing. You’re pressing into me.”

“I know.” You removed your lips from his neck and smirked ear to ear. The little purple mark you’d left was showing already. Good. “It’s on purpose.” You pressed a little more.

Dex loved that you’d suck little marks onto him, that you’d nip his neck and leave your lips on him as reminder.

You put your hands up under his shirt over his thick abs and strong stomach. “Lift.” You mumbled instructing him to sit up so you could pull his t shirt off.

“I want you.”

Your voice was so needy, he couldn’t ever say no to you.

With a quick manoeuvre, Dex had you flipped over with one swift movement and your squeal only spurred him on. It should have scared you, a man who could flip you that quickly but not with Dex, never with Dex’.

Dex with his deep lost eyes, with his little look he’d give you seeking reassurance, his constant need to touch you and hold you no matter what. The way he sought reminders that you wanted him, needed him like he needed you.

A man who had killed dozens and could kill dozens more with whatever object he could find but held you and treated you like you were delicate.

How could you feel anything other than safe.

“My girl.” He said more to himself than you. Like he was reminding himself. “My girl.”

It was all still new to Dex; having his soulmate to kiss and cuddle and be his light.

He wondered if he’d ever get used to calling you his girlfriend. If anything Dex felt the title was not enough. Too simple to describe what he felt about you, what you meant to him but calling you his everything, his soulmate, his North Star to others felt like letting people in on your relationship and exactly what you were to him and that was just between you and him.

That was special.

“Your girl.” You said encouragingly and Dex pressed a soft kiss to the inside pad of your thigh.

He let out a smile before edging down your underwear.

“This okay?”

Dex checked in as he always did.

You nodded and he let out a sigh against you.

His breath on your exposed, wet centre sent a flood of heat through you, you could feel it pool between your legs, coating your folds and between your legs.

Dex slowly, carefully brought his face between your legs and with only one final loving glance up at you, he placed his mouth on your folds, pushing between them with his tongue, soaking up the juices like it was the sweetest drink he’d ever had.

He lifted your legs up without removing his mouth from you and put them over his shoulders, pushing his lips and tongue deeper into you, now making out messily with your soaking core.

“Fucking hell Dex” you moaned and your hand gently tugged on his hair “Keep doing it, like that baby, like that” you moaned as he licked a stripe from your center to your clit and back before circling your sensitive spot over and over. “Oh my god baby…”

Dex loved having you like this, pressing his tongue into you, lapping up your wetness. You sounded so needy and in his mind it was all for him, you needed him. The feeling of your hands, tugging in his hair gave him the indication he was pleasing you how you liked and Dex would always aim to please you.

You wondered just how perfect his aim was in all senses and fuck when he ate you out like that, like he couldn’t get enough of you and had mapped every sensitive spot of your body…fuck you knew it wasn’t just his hands.

Dex replaced his mouth with one finger then two, pumping in and out of you making you squirt over his fingers as he thumbed your clit with one thumb. His other hand went to his jeans, unbuttoning them and bringing them down before pushing his boxers down, his thick length now brushing against you as he leant back down to kiss you

“Don’t tease.” You said with a little pout that had Dex’s heart flipping over

Like Dex ever could. He’d tried to tease you once and been completely unable to hold back. He just needed you that badly.

Dex used his fingers to spread you, his other hand guiding himself into you slowly. The sudden stretch as he edged himself into you had pulled a sharp gasp from your lips.

“You okay?” Dex asked softly cupping your face and stroking your cheek. “We can stop if…”

You shook your head and wrapped your legs around him, anchoring him to you, helping him slip further into you

“Nooo” you let out a little whine “Want you. Just takes me a second…you’re…” you paused “big.”

“Big?” Dex gave you a little smirk

You smiled up at him with a knowing look “don’t act like you don’t know it.” You teased and he went a little pink.

Gotcha.

You loved having this reaction out of him, and flipped you two over so he was under you, letting you slowly edge down on his length, pulling the most delicious moans from his mouth until he bottomed out.

You began slowly rolling your hips against his, savouring the look of absolute bliss on his face. Dex sometimes couldn’t believe how willing you were to just touch him, let alone have him inside you like this. His eyes fluttered and focused on you looking like an angel on top of him, and in this moment he knew he could die happy.

“Fuck.” He said with a little sigh “Fuck I never thought I’d…”

You leant down and kissed him, silencing his worries with your lips. You were remarkably good at that, putting the little voice in his head to sleep.

Slowly and still warring with his two sides; the side that was afraid he’d handle you too harshly at times and the other unable to hold back the passion and love he wanted to lay on you, he placed his hands on your hips and settled somewhere in between as he began bouncing you softly on his length, his hips moving up to meet yours.

It didn’t take long.

The fluttering of your walls around him, you chasing your high was all it took to send him over, spilling into you.

You rolled off him and into his side as he scooped you up, pressing soft kisses into your hair, your forehead , your eyelids.

“God I fucking love you Dex” you said softly face smushed between his bicep and chest as you put one leg over his

“Say that again sweetheart, my bicep got most of that.”

“I love your bicep.” You mumbled pressing a kiss into it and then you repeated your words “God I fucking love you Dex”

Dex had realised in that minute maybe he had finally outran it, that voice in his head, maybe he’d got it beat because he had you and you loved him, accepted him, just as he was.

“I love you”

#locarecs 🧸ྀི #dex poindexter x reader

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