The guy from across the street

[local-homeless-boy]

Korekiyo:Love, can you call me babe?

Londrekia:Sure thing, babe!

Korekiyo:.....Nevermind.

Londrekia:WAIT WHAT'D I DO WRONG??

[local-homeless-boy]

Ben:Well, what has Kirigiri done to make you think she's flirting?

Makoto:Well*Proceeds to recount very obvious flirting*

Ben:.........WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU THINK?? OF COURSE THAT'S FLIRTING!

Makoto:I DON'T KNOW I HAVE ANXIETYYYY

[local-homeless-boy]

Kirumi: You’re a lying, cheating, piece of garbage! This isn’t the man I married!

Ben: Then we’re getting divorced, and I’m taking the kids!

Kii-B0: *pushes Monopoly off the table.* Okay, I think we should stop playing now!

[local-homeless-boy]

Animo: I demand your respect!

Ben:No, you demand my attention.

[local-homeless-boy]

Kokichi: Hold on a minute, I gotta take this.(answers phone) Yello~?

Ben:What. Did you do?

Kokichi: Alright. (beat) But you can't be mad at me.

Ben: What. Did you do?

Kokichi: Okay, first... I was minding my own business.

Ben: (Slams desk) BULLSHIT!

Kokichi: I waaas!

Ben: And exactly what happened whilst you were "minding your own business"?

Kokichi: So, I was just chillaxin' in my room like a baller, then all of a sudden these shmucks kicked in my door!

(Flashback: SWAT team makes forced entry into Kokichi's room)

Kokichi:One of them yelled out

SWAT GUY: (flashback) Get on your knees!

Kokichi: (present) And Miu responded with: (flashback) I'M NOT YOUR MOTHER LAST NIGHT! (present) ...And they took exception to that.

[local-homeless-boy]

Ben:(Pulls Ken away from the lab equipment)Don't touch anything in my lab Ken. I don't want you to get hurt.

Ken:You GRAB Ken? You pull his little arm like toy?? Oh! Oh!! Jail for Papa! Jail for Papa for ONE THOUSAND YEARS!!!

[local-homeless-boy]

Gundham when Sonia's not around:

Gundham:I LOVE IT, THE FREEDOM OF BATTLE, THE POUNDING OF MY HEART, THE TASTE OF MY OWN BLOOD, I LOVE IT!

Ben:We're just playing chess!?

Gundham when Sonia's around:

Gundham:......

Ben: Gundham you haven't made a move in 5 minutes

Gundham:The overlord just needs to decide!

Sonia:The overlord does not need your pestering peasant!

Gundham:(Hard blushing)

[local-homeless-boy]

Ben: I'm being extremely clever up here and there's no one to stand around looking impressed! What's the point of having you all?!

Kirumi:Can't we just slap him?

[local-homeless-boy]

Ben:How did the three of you even get together?

Kii-B0:Well, Miu confessed to me, then Kokichi confessed to me, then they both accidentally confessed to each other while arguing about dating me, and then I confessed to the both of them, and that's how we got together!

[local-homeless-boy]

Kirumi:Is the equipment secure?

Ben: Check.

Kirumi:Omnitrix ready?

Ben: Check.

Kirumi: Did you have breakfast?

Ben: What? That’s not on the checklist.

Kirumi: I added it because I care about you.

Ben: No, I did not have breakfast.

Kirumi: Unacceptable. Look in your pocket.

Ben: Hey, there’s little chocolate chips in this.

Kirumi: Yeah, I’m not an idiot. I know how to trick my boyfriend into eating his fiber.

[local-homeless-boy]

Drunk Kadae: That's very smart, and I'm gonna send Shuichi my favorite GIF of Mr. Bean giving a thumbs up. Oh, Mr Bean, what a stud. Hey Mukuro, what would you do if you could do anything to Mr. Bean?

Mukuro: Nothing.

Drunk Ben: Come on, Mukuro. Don't be shy. Say what you would do to international sex symbol Mr. Bean.

Mukuro: Fine, I would take a very large glass [sustained bleep]-Let himself out.

Ben now sobered up: I see...

Drunk Kadae : Wow. Um, I just have one quick note. Mr Bean never [sustained bleep.]- beg for mercy.

[local-homeless-boy]

Ben:Anything wrong first thinker?

Albedo:I fucking hate politics.

[local-homeless-boy]

Ben: All in all, a 100% successful trip!

Makoto: Ben, we lost Byakuya.

Ben: All in all, a 100% successful trip!

[local-homeless-boy]

Ben: Argh! Stop everything.

Hyde: What's going on?

Orie: Ben! Bedroom!

Hyde: We have a rule about the bedroom.

Ben: No one on this planet is safe right now. We have to solve this before it's too late. Get your clothes on. If we move fast we at least stand a chance and you have no idea what I'm talking about, do you?

Orie + Hyde: No.

Ben: No. Helmic regulator again! Too early. Wrong point. As you were.

(Ben leaves.)

Orie: Ben, you can't just go like that. What's happening? Don't we need to know?

(Ben returns and sits on the bed.)

Ben: Popped up in the wrong order. Easy mistake to make. Nothing to alarm you. Forget I was ever here. I'll be back soon enough, I would have thought. Everything's fine, pretty much. Don't worry about the future. The future is really (flashes of spoilers) safe. Really, really, safe. Sleep well.

(Ben leaves. Sound of the Time cycle dematerialising.)

Hyde: I really hate it when he does that.

[local-homeless-boy]

Ben:Honey are you ok?

Kirumi:No

Ben:Do you want to go to bed

Kirumi:Yes

Ben:Do you want me to turn into Ditto, clone myself and then cuddle you?

Kirumi:....Yes

[local-homeless-boy]

Ben: Kirumi, you've got that face on again

Kirumi: What face?

Ben: The “he’s hot when he’s clever” face.

Kirumi: *rolls eyes* This is my normal face.

Ben: Yes, it is.

Kirumi: Oh, shut up.

Ben: Not a chance.

[local-homeless-boy]

Kokichi: How much could I possibly

owe you? Fifty, sixty bucks?

Ben: Two thousand four hundred and

thirty-seven dollars

Kokichi: Dollars?! Wait, of course

dollars. Why was that the part I was

surprised by?