Ok, I tried to make this blog happy and fun and used it as an escape from reality but this has gone for too long.
#BlackLivesMatter
#StopAsianHate
If you believe in White Supremacy, if you're trying to defend racism, if you even think that one race is more superior to others...
Leave this fucking blog. Block and never come here again.
I had to wake up and find out that there was a mass shooting of 8 and out of those people 6 were Asian women, the head police are trying to fucking defend the shooter by saying it's not confirmed that it was a hate crime and it was just a bad day, and with a cherry on top, anti-Asian hate crimes rose by 150% in America in the last year.
I am Filipino American. This fucking disgusts me. My heart goes out to others who feel pain, sadness, rage, disgust, offended, afraid, stressed, and many more.
Also, DO NOT compare Asian Hate and BLM with each other or any other races. They are not enemies. "oH buT blAcK liVEs- "nO No, aSiAns-"
No. Racism is Racism. No matter how "big or small" it is.
Fuck White Supremacy. Fuck racism. Stop the hate, please.
Being inclusive with your reader insert fic is a kindness. It tells people of color (poc) that you are considering someone who does not look like you in your fic. It shows love and dedication to our craft. It tells poc that they belong here too and they can see themselves in your story.
Poc aren’t look for activism in fic, we know fandom isn’t that serious, but we should be able to have that same level of escapism when we turn to fic and fandom. We belong here too. This space is for everyone, not just one group of people.
Just to give a few examples of how simple it can be: say “skin warmed” instead of blushed, say “cradled your head” instead of running fingers through hair, say “angles yourself to kiss” instead of standing on tiptoes, use italics to indicate Spanish to take out a throwaway line of “you didn’t understand Spanish” things like that. Small changes that do not impact the fic at all but make a world of difference in inclusivity!
And for anything you can’t/don’t want to change, simply add warning in the beginning. Things like hair descriptors, anything reader might wear, some backstory for reader (especially involving family or where the story is set), readers job, things like that. A lot of times just having that heads up before the fic makes a world of difference!
And one example of kindness we as writers always worked to change: until recently (just a couple years ago) it wasn’t common to label the gender of the reader. But those who aren’t female asked writers to label it so they know which to read and which to avoid, and now it’s common to label the gender/pronouns of the reader. So it is possible! It just takes effort! And I’m a writer myself so I know it can be done!
We can pretend to be a bartender or a bounty hunter or an actress or anything else. But we shouldn’t have to imagine we’re a white one.
I hate reading a x reader fic (or any fic tbh) where one character is like "big, buff, scary, man" and then "scared, defenseless, innocent girl." ... Like there's a way to write about a masculine character without pushing stereotypes or taking away from them (yk?)
Also, here's my incredible and accurate rendition of how those fics depict the relationships:
Why when im scrolling through a tag i flashed by cho0chie 😦?
All jokes aside i had posted a meme and not even 3 minutes later it got flagged.. and im starting to see a lot of prn bots is it just me??? But why did my stuff get flagged but bots thats are showing naked people still up 🤔
Summary: Everyone notices the rest of the team. Price. Soap. Ghost. Kyle flits in and out of the limelight, noticed here, unnoticed there, glory a fleeting second morphed into muted shadows in the background. He's okay with that. He's been okay with that all his life.
But you notice. And you're not okay with that. Because the way he goes unnoticed is all you can notice even with his back turned towards you.
And just when you think he doesn't notice you, he notices.
He always notices.
Warnings: Intended for readers 18+, minors dni, sexual content, crass language, musings of being the person who goes unnoticed even when you contribute to a team, pining by female reader and Gaz, noncon thoughts by Gaz
A/N: I wrote this because I noticed Gaz isn't in the limelight as much even within the fandom, and I reflected that sentiment here.
oOo
He doesn't notice, but it's okay.
He doesn't notice that you notice him, and that's okay.
He doesn't know that you stare after the broad expanse of his back after everyone bids the team godspeed on their next mission, trudging determinedly into the heli, each step matching with the intake of your breath. He won't know about how your eyes settle on the last remaining visuals of his body before the doors close. Uttering a prayer. Eyes back on the controls board as you quickly secure the team's coordinates, in particular his coordinates. Check his comm lines. Check his status even before he lands. The repeated actions with every mission now becoming a ritual.
He doesn't notice. Probably doesn't even know who you are, another generic face in the team helping out with communications and controls, another support personnel. Just some nameless person, background noise, another body putting in the logistical work for the grunts. You're not special, but in a way, it's a blessing. You're so unnoticeable that no one bothers to notice you.
So you selfishly look all you want. Notice all you want. Notice the one person you wish would notice you, but at the same time, never do. Because if he did, he would never allow you to notice him again in the form of a reprimand that you know would break you. So you quietly put your head down and when afforded, gaze upon him.
Selfishly. Because Kyle is never selfish. You let your greed make up for his selflessness for others. Because Kyle would give the shirt off his back if someone asked him to. He's done it before countless times. Rush into the scene first if he could when rescuing his comrades. If the team was on short supply, everyone would get theirs and he'd go without, distracting and reassuring everyone with cheeky grins a shake of his head. Always there to offer advice, stay up late with anyone who needed help to get the job done. Always taking other people's feelings into consideration, a unique and considerate pause before he uttered his words.
Always there as that fortress. A solid friend, comrade, soldier.
An irreplaceable member of the team.
So why the hell wasn't he as noticed as everyone else?
Why the hell wasn't he in the limelight as much as Price, Soap, and Ghost? You had no ill will towards the three of them, but it did make you ill how the one man who instilled confidence in the crew, who did so much, was second place seemingly closer to none. Why the hell did everyone excitedly group around when a mission went well, offering a moment of recognition for Gaz before voices focused on the other three. Time passes within the celebration, and you only seem to be the one noticing how his body is now distanced from the rest of his teammates, the latter too preoccupied with giving details and accepting thanks to notice the change. And, polite as usual, if it even upset him at all, he would never say, content to stand in silence with the occasional nod of his head in recognition of a rogue thank-you. Never one for theatrics or to take from others for himself, whether it was time, sentiments, or material things. Never one to show a sliver of his ego.
No one noticed, but you did. You did. A lot. You noticed him. You would always notice him.
Always, as much as he never noticed you.
oOo
You cut your hair today.
He noticed, but no one else did, as usual.
You got a salad today, and Kyle wondered why you wanted to get it to match the disappointed look on your face and not the usual excitement of the bacon cheeseburger. All the fancy toppings, toasted brioche bun. Fries and a coke, because diet coke tasted like grandpa's medication mixed into shitty store brand cola. He only allowed himself to laugh at your comment once he made it early into the briefing room.
Wishing he was there to talk to you instead of your coworker.
Wishing he was there to tell you that he disagreed, to go get that burger because what weight gain was causing you this much distress to get a boring salad. Wishing that he could be a fly on the wall. Wishing he could afford to have a languid lunch instead of wolfing down a quick meal, always on the go. Wishing, wishing, wishing.
Wishing you'd notice.
Wishing you wouldn't duck your head and look away every time he came around, like the mere sight of him was an offense.
Like the mere sight let you know how selfish he really was. Like the mere sight let you read through him and discover his true self: Did you know about how he traced over your words in each debriefing report, artfully lauding his actions blended into the expected format? That he could recognize that neat handwriting anywhere demanding that others recognize him, stunt after stunt, piling on praise instead of calling him a greedy bastard? Could you see how much he wanted to take? See the real him, contrasted to what you wrote in the reports? That he questioned why you averted your eyes in his presence but with every stroke of your pen on official documents, he was some incarnate of G.I. Joe come to life?
Did the mere sight of him in your face betray some naive worship you had? Maybe if he was in the distance, you could bear to look at him.
But maybe it was better this way.
Because maybe you wouldn't see what really festered in his heart. You'd be horrified. You think he's some selfless hero always considering others but himself like in those fancy reports. But he was really just a coward. A big coward, rather facing firefight than to dare walk up to you to even say hello. To not stare at you mutely across the room at company parties, even though the both of you were flush against the wall, content to let others partake in the bright lights and music. The both of you. Always observers. Always floating in and out of sight, noticed here, noticed there, important here, important there. Kyle noticed. He always notices. The scars on your face and body. How one lip curves higher than the other in a grin. How you invariably let others speak first even if you wanted to interject, lips biting, brows furrowed.
And he would think, what would you say if you noticed that he noticed? That really, if he actually dared, he doesn't want to just notice. He wants to let his greed bleed out onto the tiles of the linoleum floor, to let the ugliness rope around your ankles and shut you forever in his room. Let his body and mind run on autopilot, because, really, the tips of his fingers would already feel out the fluttering expanse of your throat. He would let his greed cover his ears to your pleading cries, face buried in the crook of your neck. Tasting, wanting, a minute later to slot his hips in between your thighs. Tongue tracing the softness of your jaw and breasts. Swallowing your betrayed cries with every grind of his hips against your clothed sex. There's no thought behind his actions. He wants to let himself be that of an animal consumed with its rut. Take, take, take.
There's guilt. There's need. There's no distance between his chest to yours. Your back flat, eyes wide. Hands elevating your hips as he presses you into the mattress. He would breathe, but he wouldn't let you breathe, because why do so if it meant you wouldn't welcome his overbearimg figure. Why think if you could feel his ego dripping into your pussy, as much as you dripped onto his? Would you like it? Would you let him sate his selfish desires, smear the ink of your praises to Laswell all over your thighs and tits? Let him suckle on your breasts? Keen when he spreads your legs so he could devour your cunt and ass?
Would you let him go beyond noticing?
"Gaz-"
Would you, would you, would you?
"Gaz?"
Spare him one look. Just one. Just one gaze, to meet his eyes just fucking once. Could you spare him one smile-
"Gaz!"
Instead, he's spared nothing but bemusement by Price. He's back in the drawing room, eyes finally on him fully by everyone else. Soap and Ghost. Laswell. Everyone else sitting while he stands like a lame fool, halfway to the door.
Halfway to the glass window where he could still see you gaze into nothing. Not noticing him. Never noticing him.
So he sighs. Morphs his frustration into a cheeky smile as he rubs his head and assumes a casual air. Tells everyone he was just daydreaming about some planned vacation in Beirut. Soap snorts and lets the jokes fly. No one else notices. No one else, as usual. Not even himself, perhaps, as he misses you looking into the expanse of his back.
He doesn't notice, but it's okay.
He doesn't notice that you notice him, and that's okay.
stop making fanfics about characters raping and sexually assaulting y/n, you are fucking disgusting people who romanticize a serious crime that happens every day to children and women
"but that's just reading dark romance" that's not a dark romance, that's just the stuff of a horrible fetish, IF YOU HAVE A RAPE FETISH, GO SEEK FOR FUCKING PSYCHIATRIST HELP!!!!!!!!!!
Bruh it's been 4 years since I started this fanfic blog. I was just barely starting high school at the time and now I'm in college??? I can't believe 2020 was 4 years ago 😭😭
With the overturning of Roe v. Wade, I need to let people know how dangerous the healthcare privacy climate is now. As someone that works with PHI (protected health information) I want to stress that HIPAA (the law that prevents your health data from being shared) does not apply to healthcare apps. These are incredibly dangerous to use, not only because law enforcement can procure a subpoena to access this information, but because these apps can sell your health data to any third party—potentially anti-abortion activists. Anyone with a uterus should delete not only period trackers, but mental health apps, because if you have a miscarriage or seek an abortion in a state that outlaws it, your mental health history can be used against you.
I would also discourage people from using online therapy apps like BetterHelp and Talkspace. Though BetterHelp says they are HIPAA compliant, that is a lie. They have shared data with Facebook. Their most recent privacy policy update says “We may share your information in connection with an asset sale, merger, bankruptcy, or other business transaction.” Any data breach could put your information at risk. Any health app could suddenly decide to change their privacy policies without notice.
Most responsible clinicians put your health data under (many times literally) lock and key. PHI software like Epic or Cerner have numerous failsafes to prevent data leaks. This is not the case for apps. BetterHelp and healthcare apps in general do not care about this. They only care about money. Do not trust any app or healthcare provider that operates strictly online. And for your own sake, use a VPN if you’re searching for abortion providers or advice.
ALWAYS REBLOG WHEN YOU SEE SOMETHING LIKE THIS PLEASE; ITS SO MUCH MORE THAN IMPORTANT TO PEOPLE. IT MEANS EVERYTHING TO SOMEBODY AND EVEN THOUGH YOU MIGHT NOT SEE THIS IN THE SAME LIGHT, SOMEONE MIGHT. INFACT YOU REBLOGGING THIS COULD STOP SOMEONE TAKING THEIR LIFE TONIGHT.
