An anonymous vent blog for a local girl

local girl says...

[localgirllost]

Local girl knows it's getting better, little by little

[localgirllost]

I don't want to exist anymore

[lesbyterianchurch]

Not every day has to “count.” Some days, your purpose is to make it to the next one. That counts too.

[cantwaittoteach]

Damn I needed this today.

[snorlax-and-co]

Me too, thank you.

[localgirllost]

I don't feel like eating anymore.

[localgirllost]

I've decided to give up on trying to be perfect, perfect is too stressful. Perfect is painful mornings counting seconds down to minutes to leave at the perfect time.

Perfect is feeling useless when it rains not because your hair is ruined but because your smile is dampened and you're mood low.

Perfect is forcing yourself to act like everything is fine when it really really isn't and that's no way to exist

That's no way to live

I'm not going to pretend perfect is my amazing .

Being myself being happy and messy and dumb and wrong sometimes that's my good. That is my type of perfect.

[localgirllost]

Local girl believes it will all work out

It's just really fucking hard right now

[localgirllost]

So many people care I can't just give up it's bad it's rude to. They care

They shouldn't have to worry about me.

I shouldn't be this anxious why do I have to be anxious

[localgirllost]

I don't want to die. Dying is too permanent I just want to stop existing for a bit . I just want to step back and just stop for a while

I just want it to stop.

[localgirllost]

Cause people care about me and I just keep letting them down why why do I keep letting them down.

Why am I so soft for god's sake I hate myself

[localgirllost]

This will pass it always passes and when it returns you will be better suited to face it

[localgirllost]

Local girl feels useless over the smallest of mistakes and can barely hold it together.

Local girl knows that though venting here helps , everything still hurts

Local girl had been losing weight but only values her losses , any gain is a disaster and it's getting too fucking hard to keep losing

[localgirllost]

Local girl expects poetic justice for the anxious behaviour she has

[localgirllost]

Local girl sees little importance in the future only in the current and the current is terrifying

[localgirllost]

Local girl finds hope in the idea she can make something of herself even if that something is just a shadow

[localgirllost]

Local girl feels mildly suicidal at the concept of outliving the people she loves when she has barely lived her own life yet.