one thing i've noticed with a lot of the "elphaba shouldn't have forgiven glinda" crowd is that they don't want to engage with any of the actual reasons elphaba is friends with glinda. and i think it partly comes from a desire to self-insert into the protagonist (which seems to be more common nowadays, especially in those popular romantasy books) and an unwillingness to see what elphaba wants outside of what they want
there tends to be a sort of dismissive "well, elphaba was lonely so ofc she was going to accept friendship from the first person that's nice to her--even if it's her bully" kind of attitude. but i don't think this is actually true. at least with movie elphaba, fiyero is pretty sincerely kind and apologetic for accidentally almost hitting her, and she still spurns him. and this is mostly because she thinks he's being insincere (and because musical fiyero is more of an actual asshole), but i'd argue she has a lot more reason to be suspicious glinda's intentions, and still accepts her friendship. so i don't think it's fair to paint elphaba as starved for affection to the point of accepting scraps from her horrible, self-serving roommate
i think in the way some glinda fans have this tendency to infantilize her and give her a million mental disorders and paint her as this poor victim who would've made the right choice if not for the cruel world keeping her in this position she hates, ignoring her actual flaws and cutting her a lot of slack for all the bad choices she makes, some elphaba fans ignore all of the things she actually wants and the actual things behind her trauma and decision-making and turn her into a very typical "misunderstood nerdy outcast who's always unequivocally in the right." and to be fair, the musical does seem like it was kind of scared to show her ever making a wrong or bad decision, and took away a lot of the moral nuance to her book counterpart (somewhat to its detriment, imo, especially in the later act). but i think both of these are fundamentally self-insert fantasies where the viewer inserts themselves into one of the girls and then turns them into the perfect victim or some kind of christ-like figure who takes a torrent of abuse from the world around them and is unfairly victimized and usually needs their significant other to comfort them and assure them how much they love them and be a hot and perfect love interest
the glinda people tend to be more annoying imo just cuz i really really hate when people infantilize glinda and i think she's a better character (and love interest for elphaba) if you just acknowledge her flaws and don't try to justify them by giving her severe anxiety and making her like non-functioning. also like all of these ppl are gelphies so they show up more in my tags more and therefore annoy me more often but whatever
with elphaba there's not really a lot to gloss over morally--she's pretty much in the right for most of the play, but ppl still end up misunderstanding basic things about her character. like, these ppl love to act like elphaba was being completely tormented in WITF and is some poor innocent girl bullied by the mean popular girl--which isn't even all that wrong--but completely ignores that fact that elphaba clearly LIKES sparring with glinda in WITF and likes getting a rise out of that girl and is ostensibly experiencing the same pulse-rushing head-reeling face-flushing feelings that glinda is. and obviously this doesn't justify glinda being a dick to her or any of the racism elphaba experiences cuz of glinda (and the rest of the student body), or turn it into a "both sides were equally bad" sort of thing, but elphaba enjoying her little rivalry with glinda and not just being some poor downtrodden outcast is an important part of her character
i get the sense they relate to elphaba because they've been bullied at one point in their lives and probably felt similarly outcast. that's probably something everyone's felt at one point or another. so they see themselves in elphaba, but then ignore the fact that elphaba as a character has desires and goals that may differ from theirs and may make decisions that differ from the decisions they would make. like yeah if i was in elphaba's shoes i would also not befriend glinda holy shit i have standards. but i'm also not elphaba thropp
and if you actually pay attention to elphaba the character and what she wants, you notice that all of the things she says are her heart's desires are things fulfilled by glinda. she wants to be celebrated--glinda had everyone doing a version of her ozdust dance and cheering her on at the train station. she wants to be "degreenified"--glinda tells her she's beautiful and helps her feel more confident in herself. she feels guilt over her mother's death and is told she's responsible for her sister's well-being--glinda is the first person to insist that she's not. she wants to help the Animals and overthrow the wizard--glinda is the one who does that. and if you actually care about elphaba outside of some weird self-insert victimhood fantasy where johnathan bailey swoops in and professes his love you, you start to see why glinda is so important to elphaba and why she's willing to overlook/forgive so much of what glinda does in the second half of the play
elphaba also sees a lot of herself in glinda: the desire for approval and praise, the lack of genuine love and connection, the fact both of their outward demeanors are products of an upbringing that drilled certain toxic patterns of thought into their head. and i think this self-recognition in the other allows for a greater level of empathy and ability to understand the others' decisions. and since gelphie's relationship is the big overarching bond tying wicked together, their ability to acknowledge and respect each other's decisions, even as they make different ones, is a testament to the strength of their bond and ties into the larger themes of love and female relationships in the story. but ig since you the viewer wouldn't personally befriend glinda upland none of that actually matters
